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Disabled People Are Sharing The Most Adorable Ways Their Partners Show Them Love And It Will Warm Your Heart
Imani Barbarin in a Paris-based activist who often draws attention to the problems that people with disabilities face, encouraging everyone to face them with a positive attitude. Recently, Imani has started one of the most heartwarming initiatives on Twitter. Under the hashtag #YouCanLoveMeButYouCantHoldMyHand, the woman asked people with various physical and mental illnesses, “What are some of the physical ways your partner makes you feel loved that are different from the way abled people show love?”
"I actually am disabled. I was born with cerebral palsy," Barbarin told Bored Panda. "I asked the question initially out of a desire to see more romances involving disabled characters and realized that to represent disabled romances correctly, the 'regular' romantic signifiers wouldn't apply. For instance, because I walk with crutches and use my hands heavily to get around, I can't hold hands in public spaces, but I'm just one person with a disability so I decided to post the question online."
"I think the love and companionship that disabled people need and desire is the same, it just manifests itself in different ways," Imani added. "Too often, we portray loving someone disabled as burdensome, but the people who have responded are joyous in the way they show they care. That's uplifting to see."
She thinks that the reason why so many people have resonated with the post has a lot to do with loneliness. "These stories are those of hope. We can be loved the way we are and the right person will make us feel more at home in our own skin."
"I specifically want disabled people to be hopeful in reading these stories. I want them to know, myself included, that we aren't a burden or abnormal to love.
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#1
Kim Lorton 7 years ago
My boyfriend, now my husband of 25 years this year, bought a coffee pot, coffee just for me, as he didn’t drink coffee at the time! For real!
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#2
Coco 7 years ago
yes. People sometimes says things like Ohhh poor you, but THIS is the real one, what any person in pain needs.
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Just saying 7 years ago
Being a disabled person, it is such a shame that we have to think of ways to prove our pain to others for fear of being told that we are faking it. My son does that all the time and it gets under my skin.
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Angela Francey 7 years ago
My dad did all this plus some when my mum was dying of cancer...that's how a dad sets the bar high for his daughters ;)
#4
Isabel Care 7 years ago
I don't drop stuff, I just have a personal poltergeist following me around. Bought pretty plastic "glasses" so they bounce when dropped, less to clean up
Anne Reid 7 years ago
Ha ha! I love that line! I usually tell people that the was a gravitational surge suddenly around me. But I’m going to steal your poltergeist excuse!
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Kim Lorton 7 years ago
I have nerve damage and tremors in my hands and drop and “ throw” stuff too! Things will just fly out of my hands, so after breaking a few cups and mugs and plates, we now use paper plates and plastic cups, the hubby doesn’t mind, and once in a while, I will use the everyday China so he feels like an adult!
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Sarah Garcia 7 years ago
TEARS OF HAPPINESS! Congratulations (?????) on being seizure free! Prayers for many more years of freedom!
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Magpie 7 years ago
Yes gentle kind appropriate questions, with a little bit of good timing ( not when i am in extreme pain for example ) go a very , very long way . . um to mix metaphors, brownie points for good questions.
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BetsyB 7 years ago
This reminds me of an ex I ran into a while back. I mentioned how my disability was & he thought that it was new, as if i didn't have it the whole time we were together. Luckily my current partner is attentive & will go buy me a chocolate or a new herb he's read about if he thinks it'll help make my day better.
Just saying 7 years ago
I have MS. I also just recently lost my son to a drunk driver. Therefore, my health is deteriorating. My husband, not my son's father, has gone above and beyond to help me get through a day. He works full time but then comes home to wait on me. I honestly do not know what I would be doing if he wasn't here.
Tralee Aylett 7 years ago
totally agree. My bro still say "I'll have 1 exchange too mum" if we are both over and she asks how many servings of carbs I want (I'm 33 and he's 31)
#8
PeachPossum 7 years ago
and he shows that he is not afraid or repulsed by it. He's a keeper!
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Ella Gillies 7 years ago
That's so cool... I get super self-conscious even letting someone see my stubs. I hope to get to this point someday.
#9
Raela beebe 7 years ago
Could be a sensory disorder. I had a friend when I was little who couldn't be touched a lot when she was a kid, I had to be really careful. She's gotten better with it over the years but if She's anxious unless you know her like I do it's hard to know when It's ok to touch her.
Chantelle Frensham 7 years ago
Anxiety? Depression? Bipolar? Schizophrenia? It could be any combination or number of mental illness's, or they may just be grateful to have a partner who understands and knows that this is what they're needing to feel supported on the days they're fed up and pissed off with their physical disabled
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#10
Magpie 7 years ago
Wow...that just sucks. And the love your @Lalizig demonstrates is brilliant. "Love is a Verb" it is what we choose to show with our actions each and every day. sorry i cannot remember where i read that. *possibly* Ursula K. Le Guin
SuperTango 7 years ago
*girl with t1 diabetes. Disabilities are part of us but they don't define who we are.
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Melissa Gallo 4 years ago
Sweet guy, but what does being Greek have to do with it? those kinds of clichés are so tired...
Sarah Garcia 7 years ago
My husband did things like this when I was pregnant. Not in the beginning, but I birthed some big boys, so he was a gem!
#12
Kim Lorton 7 years ago
Some of the greatest love stories, never involved physical intimacy, the mind is the biggest sex organ we have, and sadly the most underused. Romance can be all kinds of things, and even silent. Love of souls, is the greatest, and deepest love we have!
Sissi Redegold 7 years ago
this is great. Cooking is not an easy task. It is so time consuming. Shopping for groceries, preparing the food, cleaning everything etc - it does get pretty tedious after a couple of years. Doing it to make somebody feel loved? Man, that really speaks to me! I lovelovelove ALL the bits I read so far, this just took the biscuit..
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La Sam 7 years ago
I am so happy...and sad...to read this. My husband left me last year, saying, "I don't want to watch you die."
Susan Forbes 7 years ago
That's horrible! Forgot about the "for better or worse part" part, huh?
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Magpie 7 years ago
Yes! This. Share the load and share the joy times too.
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#19
Jacqui Baker 7 years ago
I usually just throw up anything I've taken for the pain but live with codeine/paracetamol tabs on my bedside cabinet , my hubby will get a bucket and put it on a towel next to the bed for me cause he knows any sudden movements (like a run to the loo) make me worse.
Rachelle 7 years ago
Not to be a Debbie Downer, but those who suffer with migraines should REALLY consult with their doctors on possible preventative medications, and/or other alternatives to codeine (says the lady with progressive migraines with brain stem complications). Codeine is HIGHLY addictive and metabolizes into a form of medical grade heroin in your system. I was prescribed T3's, T4's for a long period of time & became highly dependent. So much so that I eventually talked to my doctor about getting off of it entirely. Headaches, nausea, insomnia, hot/cold sweats, shaking all followed, but totally worth it to be free. Just a friendly reminder: just because your doctor keeps prescribing it to you, does NOT make it good.
Isabel Care 7 years ago
Hope he got anti emetics as well. Without them the pain pills just bounce right back out
#20
katboxjanitor 7 years ago
Love and gratitude is not 'little' and neither is your expression of appreciation.
#21
Amanda Raynes 7 years ago
Thats so nice i am heat sensitive with my heart and my man acts like it is new to him constantly
#22
Jessamyn Zolcznski 7 years ago
Yeah, I have to wake mine up. Otherwise he will have strokes...and I don't want him to have a three hour siezure like his first one
#24
Sven Mom 7 years ago
I have undiagnosed neuro disorder. My left side sometimes jerks ans pills upward. My typically PASSIVE husband about came over the cart when people in line at Wally World check out were imitating and mocking me behind my back. Was especially proud to have him at my side that day. He is always there for me despite his own pain, missing one leg and preparing to have the other one removed.
#29
Amanda Raynes 7 years ago
I get left with kids and he looks at me crazy when i suggest he even leave the room. My heart is bad and i am stating to see he just doesnt care
Magpie 7 years ago
Hope, hope hoping as hard as I can that he just needs some education on *how* he needs to help. Perhaps someone at your treating center can advise you, provide him with the education he needs.....Please keep asking until you find the right person to help you with this......possibly you do need to quit this relationship to help your health. In Australia I would start just asking for information with the Dr..then ..Lifeline ( they have LOTS of info and links to things ) _____Lifeline Australia - 13 11 14 . Keep asking till you get the help you need.
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BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
That is so sweet! It sounds like you guys support each other through a lot.
#31
Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
It's good that you hear "I love you" when he says "Did you take your meds ?"... :-)
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Stannous Flouride 7 years ago
There's an old proverb that fits you to a tee: "Living well is the best revenge."
BarryAllenTheFlash 7 years ago
He never deserved you! Hopefully, he straightens his life out and tries to be a better person.
Magpie 7 years ago
Thank what ever god you want: for the feminists that made divorce legal ! And made it so single ( divorced / deserted ) women can have access to money to live. # In Australia it was against the law for a married woman to continue work if she was a teacher. .. and then the feminists came.!
Soraya Imperial 7 years ago
Over in Portugal as well. Nurses, teachers, telephonists and secretaries - had to be single with father permission to work (or brother, if orphaned). If married, they required the husband to allow them to work and negotiate their contracts - only to be maids, factory workers, etc. Curiously, the first woman allowed to vote and work freely, had a higher education degree and was made "head of the household" by her sick husband that soon passed away, had no brothers nor father, hence, was "free" as a widow. Laws were soon corrected to avoid those situations.
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Sarah Garcia 7 years ago
THIS is beautiful!!!!!!! This is such an important realization for someone to make and so freaking simple to do!
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Kip The Otter 6 years ago
Smoking's bad for you! Assuming it's not for medical use, it would probably be better to not smoke.
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Isabel Care 7 years ago
My brother stepped up and injected me in the stomach twice each midday for 4 months. I hate needles, and I did not have the physical strength in my hands to do it either. At first he tried it as revenge for all the annoying "little sister" things I'd done.
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#61
Lisa DeJarnette 7 years ago
Sorry I don't understand your comment. Could you please reword it or explain it? Thanks.
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#82
Lisa DeJarnette 7 years ago
Me too about being a zombie. Lol. But that just sounds so nice, sweet,kind,reassuring and would make me feel safe and very loved. You're Blessed. Remember that on bad days may help. God Bless <3
#87
Liz Morea 7 years ago
While coffee does have more caffeine than energy drinks, it's how the caffeine is delivered that seems to be at issue. ... Energy drinks are often high in sugar, while even sweetened coffee would contain less. A Monster Energy Drink has 54 grams of sugar, which is equal to 13.5 teaspoons!Sep 11, 2014
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What do you think ?
Hiroki Shimizu 7 years ago
I was recently diagnosed with a painful, chronic disease, and my fiancee has been amazing. He gets things for me all the time, takes care of pretty much all the cleaning and cooking now, pushes me when I have to use a wheelchair, and has been late to work so he could pick up my medications. The most important thing he does, though, is hold me and calm me down as I process the fact that this is my life now. He reminds me of the things I can do when I feel useless, tells me how strong I am still, and that this is just the beginning- I have options, and together we will find whatever treatment works.
Monica Michelle 7 years ago
My husband waits for me to ask me to get wheelchair pushes. He praises me for all the things I do in a day even if it was one thing. He tells me Every night all the things that he loves about me. BTW we will both completely say we lucked out with each other
InwardSignificance 7 years ago
They are very lucky to have such partners and it's sweet to see that they appreciate it a lot. Although i think the majority of us handicapped people usually don't have that much luck in love.These day's it's difficult to find a partner even if you're 'normal', you can imagine how hard it is for people like us than.
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Watch the tv series 'Love on the spectrum', it has some great true stories about people on the Autism spectrum dating, both other people with disabilities and ones who don't
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BoredDragonfly 7 years ago
My SO helps me in every way possible. He does all the housework and cooking while he works and I can't work or study and am at home all day. The only thing I do is the laundry. If I can do more, I will, but he takes the rest on his shoulders. When I had had an incredible tremor attack/episode and can't do anything for 1 - 2 weeks after and he needs to work, he makes sure there is food and drinks in my reach. So I do not have to go get it myself downstairs. And then also does the laundry. He never pushes my wheelchair because I want to do it myself, but if I ask, he's happy to push me. I don't have to tell him when I'm not okay, he knows / feels it. And asks me if I want to talk or what he can do. He knew from the start what he was getting in to. So I am very grateful he wanted and still wants to be with me, despite all the things he can't do because of me. For example, travel. And long hugs, every day! I love him endlessly!
Tor Rolf Strøm 7 years ago
These are all nice and stuff, but I gotta say, a lot of them seem kind of obvious. Like something everyone should do. But you can't expect too much from people I guess.
Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
Of course, in a perfect world, everyone would do everything for others as for themselves. But we live in an imperfect, YET BEAUTIFUL, world. So, a little appreciation of simple niceness goes a long way. And I bet that seeing the glass half full would make you happier too. Besides, if we never notice and appreciate other people's niceness, they soon stop being nice...
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Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
This thread has led me to ask my SO which of my little gestures he perceived as daily love. He said it was the yogurt he gets every morning at breakfast : every morning he finds a yogurt at his place although myself i'm not having one. He said "You don't have to give me one, I could get it out of the fridge myself, but every morning you put it on the table for me." I was startled, it's soooo nothing fo me. My conclusion is that what makes it a love gesture for him is that I don't have to do it, yet I do it anyway. Kind of a gift. Tomorrow, I'll ask him what I used to do that he loved and I don't do anymore. I want to love him well :-)
Hiroki Shimizu 7 years ago
I was recently diagnosed with a painful, chronic disease, and my fiancee has been amazing. He gets things for me all the time, takes care of pretty much all the cleaning and cooking now, pushes me when I have to use a wheelchair, and has been late to work so he could pick up my medications. The most important thing he does, though, is hold me and calm me down as I process the fact that this is my life now. He reminds me of the things I can do when I feel useless, tells me how strong I am still, and that this is just the beginning- I have options, and together we will find whatever treatment works.
Monica Michelle 7 years ago
My husband waits for me to ask me to get wheelchair pushes. He praises me for all the things I do in a day even if it was one thing. He tells me Every night all the things that he loves about me. BTW we will both completely say we lucked out with each other
InwardSignificance 7 years ago
They are very lucky to have such partners and it's sweet to see that they appreciate it a lot. Although i think the majority of us handicapped people usually don't have that much luck in love.These day's it's difficult to find a partner even if you're 'normal', you can imagine how hard it is for people like us than.
Huddo's sister 4 years ago
Watch the tv series 'Love on the spectrum', it has some great true stories about people on the Autism spectrum dating, both other people with disabilities and ones who don't
Load More Replies... BoredDragonfly 7 years ago
My SO helps me in every way possible. He does all the housework and cooking while he works and I can't work or study and am at home all day. The only thing I do is the laundry. If I can do more, I will, but he takes the rest on his shoulders. When I had had an incredible tremor attack/episode and can't do anything for 1 - 2 weeks after and he needs to work, he makes sure there is food and drinks in my reach. So I do not have to go get it myself downstairs. And then also does the laundry. He never pushes my wheelchair because I want to do it myself, but if I ask, he's happy to push me. I don't have to tell him when I'm not okay, he knows / feels it. And asks me if I want to talk or what he can do. He knew from the start what he was getting in to. So I am very grateful he wanted and still wants to be with me, despite all the things he can't do because of me. For example, travel. And long hugs, every day! I love him endlessly!
Tor Rolf Strøm 7 years ago
These are all nice and stuff, but I gotta say, a lot of them seem kind of obvious. Like something everyone should do. But you can't expect too much from people I guess.
Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
Of course, in a perfect world, everyone would do everything for others as for themselves. But we live in an imperfect, YET BEAUTIFUL, world. So, a little appreciation of simple niceness goes a long way. And I bet that seeing the glass half full would make you happier too. Besides, if we never notice and appreciate other people's niceness, they soon stop being nice...
Load More Replies... Caroline Espenschied 7 years ago
This thread has led me to ask my SO which of my little gestures he perceived as daily love. He said it was the yogurt he gets every morning at breakfast : every morning he finds a yogurt at his place although myself i'm not having one. He said "You don't have to give me one, I could get it out of the fridge myself, but every morning you put it on the table for me." I was startled, it's soooo nothing fo me. My conclusion is that what makes it a love gesture for him is that I don't have to do it, yet I do it anyway. Kind of a gift. Tomorrow, I'll ask him what I used to do that he loved and I don't do anymore. I want to love him well :-)
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