Guy’s Ex Picks The Place For Their Daughter’s 15th Birthday Party, He Refuses To Fund It
Almost every national community in the world has its own unique traditions and impressive celebrations, which are so interesting to watch and study. One example of such beautiful and spectacular traditions among Spanish-speaking peoples is the quinceañera – a joyous celebration of a girl’s 15th birthday.
According to traditions, the father of the birthday girl plays a special role in the celebration, so it is not surprising that the user u/Dependent-Stand-8707, who first told this story in the AITA Reddit community a few days ago, wanted to attend his daughter’s celebration, despite being divorced from her mom. However, events here developed according to a completely different scenario…
The author of the post and his ex have four children, three adult sons and a 14 Y.O. daughter
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
The ex-spouses divorced over eight years ago, yet apparently the guy still holds a grudge against his former wife
Image credits: u/Dependent-Stand-8707
The author’s daughter turns 15 soon so she wanted to have a quinceañera
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Dependent-Stand-8707
It turned out that the parents arranged everything separately, behind each other’s backs, but the mom expected her ex would fund the party
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Dependent-Stand-8707
The author was livid over this and said his flat-out no, which only made the daughter mad at him as well
So, the Original Poster (OP) tells us that he is 42 years old and he and his ex-wife have four children: three adult sons and a 14-year-old daughter. According to the author himself, eight years ago, he and his wife divorced because of her infidelity, and they parted not on good terms. Now the original poster is married for the second time, and his ex is also living with another man.
According to the OP, the woman does not love her partner and they’re together only because of the guy’s money. However, this statement is difficult to verify, so we’ll leave it to the author’s own conscience. Moreover, it is not directly related to the topic of our story. But what does matter is that the OP’s daughter, due to her approaching 15th birthday, wanted to have a quinceañera.
No sooner said than done, the girl’s mother found an excellent venue for the party, without involving her ex-husband in the search. And when everything was ready and the question of payment arose, she presented him with a fait accompli, demanding that he pay for everything. However, it turned out that the father wanted to throw a separate party for his daughter, with the participation of his new family members.
As a result of a conversation in very raised tones, the original poster flatly refused to pay for the party, the venue for which was actually picked behind his back, in response to which he received accusations from his ex of being a horrible father and not providing for his child.
It all ended with the man suggesting his daughter take part in two parties in a row. Probably, the girl’s mom initially planned that the quinceañera would be paid for by the dad, so now the first party was in jeopardy. In general, now the teen is mad at her father, and in the heat of the moment, she said that she did not need a party with him and his new wife. And now the OP is completely confused, not knowing what to do.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
The tradition of quinceañera itself is now gaining great popularity among Hispanic Americans, with some families throwing truly grandiose celebrations, saving money for the party literally several years in advance. According to SoFi Learn, in terms of ballpark figures, how much a quinceañera costs usually ranges from $5,000 to $20,000. However, each family chooses a budget at its own discretion.
All sources agree on one thing – in any case, both parents must jointly fund the celebration. “The parents of the birthday girl are the ones who usually pay for a quinceañera. That’s why it’s important they have a quinceañera budget so they can save accordingly,” states the SoFi Learn article, which we already mentioned above. However, neither the OP nor his ex likely saved any funds together. For which they both paid.
At the same time, it is the father, according to tradition, who must introduce the birthday girl into the hall where the celebrations will take place, and in addition, many other important rituals are associated with the father here. So the question of who will perform these functions in the case of the OP’s daughter remains open. In any case, the girl’s birthday definitely looks almost ruined…
People in the comments harshly criticized the author after reading the original post, claiming that he probably hates his ex way more than he loves his daughter – even eight years after their divorce. Of course, we don’t know under what circumstances the breakup took place, but still, their daughter’s quinceañera is the day when both parents would have to put aside their mutual hostility.
According to some commenters, the girl’s mom, who in any case should have discussed the upcoming party with her ex-husband in advance, is also wrong here. But either way, both parents here tried to play behind each other’s backs, and it didn’t lead to anything good. “Both OP and his ex are using this occasion to bash each other. The loser isn’t OP or the ex. The loser is the daughter,” one of the folks in the comments concluded reasonably.
So what do you, our dear readers, think about the behavior of the characters in this tale? Would it be better for the parents to really act together in this situation, in the name of love for their daughter? Please let us know your opinions in the comments below this post.
People in the comments are sure both parents acted wrongly here, and expected them to put aside mutual hostility in the name of their daughter
It sounds like both parents are the asshats here. We get one side of the story, but it's easy to see that they use all their kids to cause problems for each other and don't communicate at all regarding them. Something like a Quince is a big deal, and requires cooperation between parents. It's always sad when kids have to pay the price for their stupid parents.
Agreed. They need to grow up and be parents. I have a niggling suspicion that the poor "kids" are more like the parents in this family. Daughter should speak to her older siblings, get them to help her organise a party and tell both parents to do one.
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I think we need more info here. Quincenera is a big deal but that doesn't mean your guaranteed a big venue and limitless budget. Before asking what the daughter wants the families need to come together to discuss what they can afford. As he said they have 4 kids together. You can't just pick a place and say I like it so you're paying for it, even if you weren't separated. Daughter needs to learn as well that Daddy is not her bank account and YTA to everyone that replied and called it "his crappy party". You have no info on the relationship or what he'd arranged to make it special. I'm having flashbacks of the entitled princesses in "My Super Sweet 16".
No one said there was a limitless budget, he was asked to pay something towards it, not for the entire thing. We don’t know how much he was asked to pay but he at no point says that it was more than he could afford. He could offer to pay whatever he was going to spend on his separate party and mum could pay the rest. The daughter’s party could be at least twice as good as he was going to plan as his money now only has to be half of the budget, not the whole amount.
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NTA. Parties that involve venues also involve catering and fancy clothes. You could be looking at several thousand dollars for a birthday party. If mom wants to do that, then mom can pay for it. Mom is TA for expecting dad to shell out big bucks with no input on the project. Daughter is TA for dissing dad's party and acting like a teen.
It sounds like both parents are the asshats here. We get one side of the story, but it's easy to see that they use all their kids to cause problems for each other and don't communicate at all regarding them. Something like a Quince is a big deal, and requires cooperation between parents. It's always sad when kids have to pay the price for their stupid parents.
Agreed. They need to grow up and be parents. I have a niggling suspicion that the poor "kids" are more like the parents in this family. Daughter should speak to her older siblings, get them to help her organise a party and tell both parents to do one.
Load More Replies... I think we need more info here. Quincenera is a big deal but that doesn't mean your guaranteed a big venue and limitless budget. Before asking what the daughter wants the families need to come together to discuss what they can afford. As he said they have 4 kids together. You can't just pick a place and say I like it so you're paying for it, even if you weren't separated. Daughter needs to learn as well that Daddy is not her bank account and YTA to everyone that replied and called it "his crappy party". You have no info on the relationship or what he'd arranged to make it special. I'm having flashbacks of the entitled princesses in "My Super Sweet 16".
No one said there was a limitless budget, he was asked to pay something towards it, not for the entire thing. We don’t know how much he was asked to pay but he at no point says that it was more than he could afford. He could offer to pay whatever he was going to spend on his separate party and mum could pay the rest. The daughter’s party could be at least twice as good as he was going to plan as his money now only has to be half of the budget, not the whole amount.
Load More Replies... NTA. Parties that involve venues also involve catering and fancy clothes. You could be looking at several thousand dollars for a birthday party. If mom wants to do that, then mom can pay for it. Mom is TA for expecting dad to shell out big bucks with no input on the project. Daughter is TA for dissing dad's party and acting like a teen.
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