Mother Finds Out That Her Daughter Is A Bully, Comes Up With An Unexpected Punishment
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Parenting is never easy, despite all the help that modern technology offers or the original hacks that parents themselves come up with, it’s a neverending challenge with new problems appearing daily. Amanda Mitchell, a mother from Newfoundland, Canada, found herself in quite a situation after the school reported that her daughter Hannah was misbehaving and bullying a friend. This mother knew exactly what to do to teach her daughter a lesson and shared it on her Facebook page. “I think the problem with this generation is inadequate punishment,” Mitchell said. While some people may think her methods were harsh, Amanda disagreed. “Harsh? Not in my opinion. If she grows up to break the law then the result is jail and that’s not what I want for my children.” she explained.
“I know that I’m not doing harm to her. I’m doing everything I can to help her. I told her I’m doing this because I love her and want her to grow up to be a well-rounded individual.” Mitchell told GlobalNews. While initially Hannah was shocked, she later accepted her punishment and started working to improve her behavior. Scroll down to read the full story below and tell us if you think that Amanda’s methods were right for this situation or if she was too harsh.
Recently, one mother from Newfoundland gathered a lot of attention because of the way she punished her daughter
Image credits: Amanda Mitchell
On June 9, Amanda shared a post on Facebook detailing her daughter’s behavior and the way she dealt with it
Hannah was left only with her bed and a set of clothes for a day, though her mother said she later gave her a rotation of 4 anti-bullying t-shirts
Image credits: Amanda Mitchell
The daughter had to earn her items back by adjusting her behavior and fulfilling set tasks
Image credits: Amanda Mitchell
Some people on the internet were critical of her methods
However, others agreed with Amanda’s actions
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This is bullying? Only in the west is not having access to all of your splendid wardrobe and all of your toys (while still being properly fed and cared for) considered too harsh a punishment, haha. I can't tell you how many times when I'm out and about I want to slap the shit out of the parents because of their little misbehaving assholes. This mom is demanding her child treat people with respect (she could not make it more clear to the child WHY the punishment is what it is) and the girl is responding to it, yet people still bitch. I'm pretty sure I know how the children of those people behave...
My comment is to Jurgen Shantz, but for some reason it won't let reply directly to him. Europe and Australia are also considered to be Western Cultures. They aren't using "west" to refer to a geographical location.
Megan FitzKimble like
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not only in the west. children are far more privileged in europe, and australia as well. "Only in the west" is usually a bullshit statement.
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Taking away toys and clothes is one thing but treating your kids like they are in a prison is another
S A M easy
S A M what
S A M follower
S A M +
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Eh? Belittling someone is a form of bullying. The mother is using bullying tactics to punish her child. She's also broadcasting it on social media (a shaming bullying tactic) rather than dealing with the problem. She's trying desperately to divert the blame. This just teaches the kid to take things away from others when they are mean to her. Why is she walking out of class? Why is she acting up in front of subs? Why was she mean to her best friend? - so many 'whys' and none of them actually dealt with. Of course find suitable punishment, but what if she wasn't getting the support in class she needed, what if she was struggling and the sub get calling her out, what if she had family problems, what if her friend called her stupid? - kids don't act this way unless something is on their minds. This mother has just isolated her kid, piled all the blame on her, and offered no support to get to the bottom of things.
Ridiculous. It's called punishment. Kids aren't entitled to things.
No this just teaches the kid, that when you make bad choices there are bad consequences that go along with it. I agree something is proabably on her mind and she needs to get to the bottom of that, but for bad behavior there really must be consequences that are harsh enough to mak them think twice about doing the same thing again. You need both the talking to and the consequences. Also Mom is not a bully in the real sense of that word, it just seems that way because she has all the power. And that is life. There are people above you in authority who can take things away from you. As an adult it is the police and court system who can take your shit away when you make bad choices and break the law.
By your definition, every form of punishment becomes bullying. Freud for all his faults was spot-on about the superego forming from a position of helplessness. As has been pointed out many times, my generation (which was subject to punishement) is much better behaved that the current generation which thinks it is not. Punishment should be proportional, but this seems proportional and related to the offense. You’ve made an assertion which is ridiculous, btw, that a punishment should not echo the offense.
Her Mum is showing her what she did is wrong. What would you be saying if the mother didn't do anything and another child committed suicide because of this girl bullying them.Alot off people would pour the blame on the parent for not doing anything about her daughter being a bully.
I think we need more informations. Otherwise, you are completely right with shaming the kid over her Facebook page.
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I agree.
Actually, I did something very similar to my son who was about 8 or 9. He's 38 now so no social media around then admittedly. We took every single toy, everything, out of his room, he got it back a month later. This was punishment for sheep worrying. We lived in a training barracks near Newcastle, it was an old RAF place complete with airfield. The whole area was surrounded by fields with sheep and cattle. He and his friend decided it would be fun to go into one of the fields and chase the sheep, they were just after lambing at the time. As it happened my husband's Commanding Officer saw them from his staff car and called my husband in to tell him, he gave my hub a severe telling off. So the toys went out, no treats, no outings, no TV, nothing that he would enjoy. He was told what his actions could have done to the sheep and lambs in no uncertain terms, we frightened him. I wouldn't care what other parents would think of me if I had said to anybody, probably like this mum.
I did something like this to my son, and he is 29 now. Like you said, no social media back then and no drama or other opinions surrounding it.
Once, my mom looked me straight in the eyes and told me she was really, really disappointed in me. Once; that's all it took, because I knew that everything she's ever given me and done for me was a gift of her own time, will and effort, and I would always owe her for that. However I understand not all children are as grateful and understanding of this arrangement, and I think taking it all away to show them what life without support feels like, is a good lesson to someone who is being so unsupportive and disrespectful to others.
For me, it was my dad. My mother used to beat, insult and humiliate me for the stupidest of reasons. I grew up to be afraid of her and hide. My father, however, a military man and a very calm and patient one, took me aside one day. I was skipping school. All it took for him was to ask me if I think that I was doing the right thing, and that he was disappointed in me. I never felt more ashamed, humbled and respectful. He never laid a hand on me or raised his voice. I never skipped school after, and I will remember that lesson until the day I die.
Bless that man... glad you're past your mom
Sounds just like my parents. My mother was a nightmare, and also did exactly what yours did, and I also stayed as far away from her as I could. It took me years to become a normal person (?) My father was also military, and would sit me down and have a talk. No insults, no hitting. Every time I think of the choices I've made in my life, and my way of looking at the world and people, it's all because of my father. And this was during a time when mother was always right - even when she was horrible. Thank goodness for our dads!
*Dreamworld, thank you for your kind words. *Cappy, actually the story is more complicated than that. She would not just punish me for doing bad things. My mother is a very troubled individual. She was supposed to be my biggest support, instead was my biggest bully. My father saved my sanity in that environment. I would have replied to you both individually, but for some reason you're missing a reply button. Thank you :).
Why didn't your dad intervene with regard to your mother's abusive behavior?
He sounds like a good parent, although it doesn't seem like he intervened at all in your mom's abusive behavior. He should have stood up for you.
The problem with your mom’s punishment wasn’t the fact of it, but the unpredictability and non-proportionality of it. Your father did something different. And hopefully if you’d then done something worse, his response would be increased.
Awesome dad game ... thanks for sharing your story. I guess your dad couldn’t actually be home to witness most of it ( being in the military?) I had all the similar issues with the older females in my family: Mother & 2 older teen sisters & very bizarre aunt (my mom’s favourite sis’) all who spared no hesitation in channeling whatever anger “stuff” going on in their vastly complicated convoluted social realms towards me - this lil’kid (6-10) Women w/unresolved anger are quite frightening. The most common reason a hand was raised? if I asked simple question like “why” or “how come?” about something pedestrian. It got better AFTER others moved out; I was last kid home. Dad gained seniority, able to shift choose & be home way more. My dad was super chill. Whenever I asked “why” or “how come” I always got a lengthy detailed explanation (w/ terminology way over my head) yet felt completely satisfied I’d an answer to my Q’s. I defer to his example.
My dad had a similar effect on me. Insane how a stern voice can unsettle you so. I have no idea if this method would work with every child; but as long as you're consistant with is; it should have effect. I rarely was 'physically' punished for things. And I think I turned out alright ^-^
After one time seeing my mom disappointed in me. Seeing the look in her eyes I climbed onto the strait and narrow. Years later speaking to my sister we wondered how we could still see mom's eyes when we were about to do something she'd not approve of. Now in my 60's and mom is still my measure.
This is bullying? Only in the west is not having access to all of your splendid wardrobe and all of your toys (while still being properly fed and cared for) considered too harsh a punishment, haha. I can't tell you how many times when I'm out and about I want to slap the shit out of the parents because of their little misbehaving assholes. This mom is demanding her child treat people with respect (she could not make it more clear to the child WHY the punishment is what it is) and the girl is responding to it, yet people still bitch. I'm pretty sure I know how the children of those people behave...
My comment is to Jurgen Shantz, but for some reason it won't let reply directly to him. Europe and Australia are also considered to be Western Cultures. They aren't using "west" to refer to a geographical location.
Megan FitzKimble like
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
not only in the west. children are far more privileged in europe, and australia as well. "Only in the west" is usually a bullshit statement.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Taking away toys and clothes is one thing but treating your kids like they are in a prison is another
S A M easy
S A M what
S A M follower
S A M +
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Eh? Belittling someone is a form of bullying. The mother is using bullying tactics to punish her child. She's also broadcasting it on social media (a shaming bullying tactic) rather than dealing with the problem. She's trying desperately to divert the blame. This just teaches the kid to take things away from others when they are mean to her. Why is she walking out of class? Why is she acting up in front of subs? Why was she mean to her best friend? - so many 'whys' and none of them actually dealt with. Of course find suitable punishment, but what if she wasn't getting the support in class she needed, what if she was struggling and the sub get calling her out, what if she had family problems, what if her friend called her stupid? - kids don't act this way unless something is on their minds. This mother has just isolated her kid, piled all the blame on her, and offered no support to get to the bottom of things.
Ridiculous. It's called punishment. Kids aren't entitled to things.
No this just teaches the kid, that when you make bad choices there are bad consequences that go along with it. I agree something is proabably on her mind and she needs to get to the bottom of that, but for bad behavior there really must be consequences that are harsh enough to mak them think twice about doing the same thing again. You need both the talking to and the consequences. Also Mom is not a bully in the real sense of that word, it just seems that way because she has all the power. And that is life. There are people above you in authority who can take things away from you. As an adult it is the police and court system who can take your shit away when you make bad choices and break the law.
By your definition, every form of punishment becomes bullying. Freud for all his faults was spot-on about the superego forming from a position of helplessness. As has been pointed out many times, my generation (which was subject to punishement) is much better behaved that the current generation which thinks it is not. Punishment should be proportional, but this seems proportional and related to the offense. You’ve made an assertion which is ridiculous, btw, that a punishment should not echo the offense.
Her Mum is showing her what she did is wrong. What would you be saying if the mother didn't do anything and another child committed suicide because of this girl bullying them.Alot off people would pour the blame on the parent for not doing anything about her daughter being a bully.
I think we need more informations. Otherwise, you are completely right with shaming the kid over her Facebook page.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I agree.
Actually, I did something very similar to my son who was about 8 or 9. He's 38 now so no social media around then admittedly. We took every single toy, everything, out of his room, he got it back a month later. This was punishment for sheep worrying. We lived in a training barracks near Newcastle, it was an old RAF place complete with airfield. The whole area was surrounded by fields with sheep and cattle. He and his friend decided it would be fun to go into one of the fields and chase the sheep, they were just after lambing at the time. As it happened my husband's Commanding Officer saw them from his staff car and called my husband in to tell him, he gave my hub a severe telling off. So the toys went out, no treats, no outings, no TV, nothing that he would enjoy. He was told what his actions could have done to the sheep and lambs in no uncertain terms, we frightened him. I wouldn't care what other parents would think of me if I had said to anybody, probably like this mum.
I did something like this to my son, and he is 29 now. Like you said, no social media back then and no drama or other opinions surrounding it.
Once, my mom looked me straight in the eyes and told me she was really, really disappointed in me. Once; that's all it took, because I knew that everything she's ever given me and done for me was a gift of her own time, will and effort, and I would always owe her for that. However I understand not all children are as grateful and understanding of this arrangement, and I think taking it all away to show them what life without support feels like, is a good lesson to someone who is being so unsupportive and disrespectful to others.
For me, it was my dad. My mother used to beat, insult and humiliate me for the stupidest of reasons. I grew up to be afraid of her and hide. My father, however, a military man and a very calm and patient one, took me aside one day. I was skipping school. All it took for him was to ask me if I think that I was doing the right thing, and that he was disappointed in me. I never felt more ashamed, humbled and respectful. He never laid a hand on me or raised his voice. I never skipped school after, and I will remember that lesson until the day I die.
Bless that man... glad you're past your mom
Sounds just like my parents. My mother was a nightmare, and also did exactly what yours did, and I also stayed as far away from her as I could. It took me years to become a normal person (?) My father was also military, and would sit me down and have a talk. No insults, no hitting. Every time I think of the choices I've made in my life, and my way of looking at the world and people, it's all because of my father. And this was during a time when mother was always right - even when she was horrible. Thank goodness for our dads!
*Dreamworld, thank you for your kind words. *Cappy, actually the story is more complicated than that. She would not just punish me for doing bad things. My mother is a very troubled individual. She was supposed to be my biggest support, instead was my biggest bully. My father saved my sanity in that environment. I would have replied to you both individually, but for some reason you're missing a reply button. Thank you :).
Why didn't your dad intervene with regard to your mother's abusive behavior?
He sounds like a good parent, although it doesn't seem like he intervened at all in your mom's abusive behavior. He should have stood up for you.
The problem with your mom’s punishment wasn’t the fact of it, but the unpredictability and non-proportionality of it. Your father did something different. And hopefully if you’d then done something worse, his response would be increased.
Awesome dad game ... thanks for sharing your story. I guess your dad couldn’t actually be home to witness most of it ( being in the military?) I had all the similar issues with the older females in my family: Mother & 2 older teen sisters & very bizarre aunt (my mom’s favourite sis’) all who spared no hesitation in channeling whatever anger “stuff” going on in their vastly complicated convoluted social realms towards me - this lil’kid (6-10) Women w/unresolved anger are quite frightening. The most common reason a hand was raised? if I asked simple question like “why” or “how come?” about something pedestrian. It got better AFTER others moved out; I was last kid home. Dad gained seniority, able to shift choose & be home way more. My dad was super chill. Whenever I asked “why” or “how come” I always got a lengthy detailed explanation (w/ terminology way over my head) yet felt completely satisfied I’d an answer to my Q’s. I defer to his example.
My dad had a similar effect on me. Insane how a stern voice can unsettle you so. I have no idea if this method would work with every child; but as long as you're consistant with is; it should have effect. I rarely was 'physically' punished for things. And I think I turned out alright ^-^
After one time seeing my mom disappointed in me. Seeing the look in her eyes I climbed onto the strait and narrow. Years later speaking to my sister we wondered how we could still see mom's eyes when we were about to do something she'd not approve of. Now in my 60's and mom is still my measure.