Woman Goes Viral With 7.7M Views When She Shares That Her Date Called Her An Uber To Go Home After He Saw How She Was Dressed Interview
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To leave an unforgettable first impression can take a lot of preparation and time. Having this in mind, a lot of people like to sway others by showing up with their perfect appearance. Nice outfit and good makeup are some of the things that can help to make an impression on the person in mind. Very often this applies to going on a date, because everyone wants to look their best when they are about to meet someone who could potentially become their significant other. Of course, looking your best does not always indicate that you want to show others how good you look. A lot of people like to express who they are through their appearance by wearing intricate clothes and accessories and having eye-catching makeup on.
But it seems that sometimes even the closest people to you can have a problem with that. At least that is what happened to TikToker Nikki Jabs who decided to share her dating experience with her followers.
More Info: TikTok
A woman on TikTok decided to share her dating experience with her followers
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The woman, who is known for sharing her experiences as she lives and travels in a van, also shared some videos of her dating life. This is when “Greg,” her date, was introduced to her followers. Nikki was kind with details in her story and it seemed that everything was going really well for them. Her new date was very kind and well mannered, he even asked Nikki to stay at his place because of how much fun they had together.
All was well until one evening, the woman shared on her TikTok an incident that happened on the same night. The couple had plans to go out for dinner and then continue their night by going to a grand opening of the retail company were Greg works. Once they were on their way to the restaurant, the man kept staring at Nikki, which made her ask what is wrong. At first Greg told her that there was nothing wrong, but as the conversation continued, he made it clear that he didn’t want Nikki to go to this event looking the way she did that night. The woman suggested that she go and change to which he said that this whole situation made him feel “bad.”
Everything seemed to be going really well between the couple until one evening the woman shared a video after she was sent home by her date
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Nikki also revealed that it wasn’t the first time that Greg had commented on her looks by telling her that she didn’t need to wear makeup or that she was overdressed. Having this issue in mind, Nikki then told Greg that either he should be fine with her going to the event dressed the way she wanted to, or she wouldn’t go at all. The man then offered to call her an Uber.
This situation reached the point where the woman went back to his house and took all her stuff with her back to her van while he was out at the event. However, Nikki had to go back to his place one more time because she forgot her laptop. The woman shared that Greg tried to get her back by apologizing and asking her to stay, but she knew that it all was over.
The man decided that his date wasn’t wearing appropriate clothing, so he got her an Uber to take her home instead of them going to an event together
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Once Nikki shared this story on social media, she received a lot of attention from people online. A lot of TikTok users were glad that she got out of this relationship early because this man was showing signs of some pretty toxic behavior that would’ve only become worse with time. Of course, there were some users who thought that the woman brought this situation on herself. The woman herself was open to the discussion and was glad that she was able to end this relationship without it escalating further.
After her first video, the woman sat down and explained the whole situation that happened that evening
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The TikToker showed what she was wearing that evening and what made her date question her outfit choices
Image credits: nikki.jabs
Bored Panda connected Nikki to find out more about the situation and how she feels about it all. The woman shared that “the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup. It has been a whirlwind of a week for me. I am happy to have ended things sooner rather than later as his behavioral pattern of comments about my appearance progressed over time.” Nikki also shared that she cut all ties with the guy, despite him trying to apologize and get back together.
A lot of people became invested in this story, sharing their own opinion about the situation. Nikki revealed that what surprised her most was that “SO many women not only experienced this type of behaviors from this exes, but got ‘trapped’ into a tumultuous relationship for many years with their partners.” The woman was happy that she got the chance to get away from this early in the relationship.
The woman was furious with his actions, stressing that it wasn’t the first time he had commented on her looks
Image credits: nikki.jabs
For those who might find themselves in a similar situation, the woman’s advice is “to accept any compliments from your partner about your looks. If your partner says that you are beautiful without makeup, be flattered. But pay attention to comments that begin to compare, suggest, and request to change your appearance. This is a very slippery slope and if you begin to change your appearance based on the subtle comments of your partner, it’s time to reevaluate his or her intentions.” Nikki also stressed that communication is the key, so you need to speak about what bothers you. This is that she did but apparently it didn’t have an impact on Greg’s behavior. “If your partner truly loves you, they will accept you for who you are and how you choose to present yourself,” added Nikki.
The woman confronted her date with an ultimatum after which he asked if he could call an Uber for her
Image credits: nikki.jabs
The woman also added a comment on what she now thinks about her date: “I don’t think ‘Greg’ is a bad person. I think ‘Greg’ made a mistake. I really cared for him and I still do. I also don’t believe I was a victim; I believe I was the subject of a poor decision. I hope that he was able to learn from this experience to be a better romantic partner in the future and know that you should accept your partner unconditionally.”
Every situation teaches us and provides us with some new experiences. The TikToker also shared that “one important thing I took away from this experience is that if you choose to speak publicly about an important experience like this, many people will learn from your experience. I will continue to document parts of my life to anyone who wants to listen hoping that I may help someone someday if they find themselves in a similar situation.”
You can watch the full video down below!
@nikki.jabsReply to @kevinkreates_♬ Night Fever – From “Saturday Night Fever” Soundtrack – Bee Gees
People online were telling her that it was right for her to leave the man as he was showing some signs of abuse
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Ive got a strange feeling there is more to that story.
Yeah, like the fact that that's not even a crop top, but a bandeau (she has to pull it down to make it look like a crop top), and he works for a retail company, and had told her it was casual.
you don't seem to know the difference between a crop top and a bandeau.... That is no way a bandeau lol, and more so, her pants were high-waist so it is not even revealing much skin here. Plus, she was wearing a coat over the whole outfit. I don't think the outfit was overdressed at all. I go to lunches and coffee with my friends in outfits like that.
Calling her overdressed was an attempt to be kind. It looked like a frilly black bra under a hot pink satin jacket. Not appropriate attire for a work-related event.
It is a bandeau
She looked amazing, he even said afterwards she would’ve been fine. Also, you clearly don’t know what a bandeau is. She also had a jacket. Just admit you’re an idiot.
That outfit IS casual!
She did ask if he wanted her to go home and change and he didn't even respond properly. Whole thing is ridiculous.
I’ve got a strange feeling you might be a victim-blaming loser.
There usually is
I got the same feeling.
The comments calling the guy abusive are really exaggerated I think. People get nervous about their work and what their superiors think. He panicked a little at the crop top. Probably he went and saw other people dressed that way and realized he'd made a mistake. Doesn't mean they're meant to be together. As for comments about unlike you natural etc. We've had a decade or so of fighting back against the pressure for women to always look perfect and done up. This guy probably does like the girl exactly how she looks without all the effort which is sweet. When he is pushing it on her I think it is the result of growing up during that fight and not realizing that many women like to get dressed up. We are now at the opposite extreme
When everything you do is wrong it is abuse. "He" feels bad--manipulation. If she was improperly dressed that's a matter of fact and he can say so, not do a weird staring dance until she has to ask what's wrong. Manipulative. You can warn someone they are under or over dressed so they can steel themselves, but if he's wearing jogging pants, I call BS. If you want someone with you, you won't send them away like that. She could have worn a cocktail dress to that event. He was flexing. If you don't do what I want I'll punish you. You must put all your effort into what I want, but I won't tell you what that is so I can always punish you. That is abuse, or at least getting it started. If you don't think so, you are welcome to try it and see how you like the constant tension and fear. Maybe he never beats her, but the emotional stuff can be more impactful because it doesn't end with the sting of a slap.
I'm not saying he was correct. But I am not about to bash and label someone whom I dont know particularly when the subject of the story doesn't seem to share all of these angry thoughts people are posting. She seems self aware and level headed so I'll take my cues from her. It's easy to sit at a screen and tell people how they should have handled a situation or a relationship. So he messed up. In not going to scream abuse
True. But OP also said this behavior had been on the rise. If she’s not just connecting unrelated occurrences because she’s doubting herself after what he did, then this probably is a sign of worse things to come. But if his “turns out your outfit would have been fine; I misjudged the formality of the event” nonapology was the coda of the only such instance, then I’d think he probably didn’t have a good sense for these things. The progression doesn’t give me hope, but maybe he’s just in need of some lessons about boundaries. If he likes flat shoes or minimal makeup, he certainly should compliment her for those, but on the other hand a three week relationship seems pretty new for him to offer multiple criticisms based only on his preferences for minor things.
I love your comment!! Because you're absolutely right! She stated that he had been doing that for weeks. The sad thing is, after meeting him she moved in to his home. I can't make assumptions but it sound like she was living in a van. What he did to her that night, was disgusting cruel and mean! He knew exactly what he was doing when he did it! I'm pretty sure he felt no guilt until after he saw how other people were dressed she had a very classy off and on simply stunning! Most of the time that doesn't work out, just meeting someone and then moving in. However, I moved in with my husband on our first date and we've been together 18 years. He is actually the absolute opposite, of controlling. I consider myself to be a very blessed woman! He's the most beautiful human being I've ever met !I was with the man that was abusive for 10 years and it is their absolute insecurity that causes it!
Yes, she was living in a van, but if you look closely, you’ll see that it’s a furnished van, like a tiny house type. It’s a lifestyle choice. She wasn’t homeless or desperate for a place to live.
Level headed people. Not common on this website, I commend you Sherrington
But she left him... because he kept telling her things about her weren't the way he wanted them... so you aren't taking cues from her, but rather you're interjecting your feelings into a comment that was based on the facts. You clearly do not understand how manipulation starts or works. I hope you do not have any daughters, because they will not learn how to spot the signs with an oblivious parent such as yourself.
You are so right about emotional abuse. I put up with it for nearly 20 years, at home and at work (another story). I didn't recognize what it for what it was until many years after I got the divorce and left the job. It took nearly 20 years to recover. If I had not gotten married I might have left the job sooner. I needed help that I didn't have to get out.
It's verbal abuse. I dealt with that for 16yrs and so has my 18yr old since her little sister was born. The name calling, the cussing out, being called greedy, all you think about is your self, you are a fkn idigit.... We heard that all the time from him. He threatens to make you get out of the car and walk home if you ask if we were doing anything as a family he would go off on us cause Saturday nights was bar hopping and cheating. My daughter became suicidal during the summer right before HS and I didn't know it until Oct 2017, girl at church saw her marks and called dss. She didn't want me to know cause she was afraid I would tell her dad and she can't handle him anymore that she wanted to die. She was only 14 luckily her little sister didn't get talked to like that from her dad. She was 9 at the time when we left their dad. He hurts her in another way... Not showing any emotions when she would tell him something she's really proud of and hopes he's proud of her. She gets ingored in
Instead. That's how he treats her. He treats his gf adult kid like a son he never had while he ingores his own 2 kids. My 13yr old just realized that today cause he will ignore the phone calls and messages but will read her Snapchat posts less than 30secs after it was posted but can't answer the phone or texts and act like he actually care about his kids instead of being a prick but yet he won't answer their phone calls unless it's convenient in his FAVOR.
Very well said. And absolutely true.
You're crazy, your actually crazy do you even hear yourself. "He feels bad so therefore it is manipulation." Man, when Bert and Ernie stepped on that bug and felt bad they were manipulating innocent children. I mean, they were really flexing their obvious insecure masculinity. Maybe try to not read into everything and become immediately offended by it. The guy was nice enough to call her an Uber, and now he should be charged for domestic abuse?
The problem is, he said, "I don't accept you as you are."
You are FOS
coming from a woman who got out of abusive relationship, this man WHILE an a*****e does not deserve the title of Abuser, if anything maybe the title of entitled asshat.
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You are going to die alone lol
Stop making excuses. Even if he had good reason to worry about what his colleagues might think, there's a way to break things to other people and a way to behave. He was a tool.
I agree, this isn't abuse, this is poor communication and a "You aren't meant for each other". He seems to be serious enough about his career to worry about what his superiors think of him and his date at a "work party" (not an actual party), but if he wanted her to look a certain way he needed to talk to her about it and beg her to get a little black dress or whatever. Well, that didn't happen, he got annoyed by her taste and she got annoyed by him caring what his bosses think, which shows a certain incompatibility. Why the heck are they living together.
Except he wanted the opposite of a little black dress. He wanted her to wear athleisure wear. You guys have bad reading comprehension.
It's abuse.my ex started a tad slower with the mind games and then the telling me what I can and can't do. Vefore I even realized it he pulled me away from my family so I had no one but him. No matter what it was as you say poor communication but it's still abuse today's her clothes tomorrow he's cryshing her spirit. Who shows up to dinner and a work party in sweats that's pretty lazy she put effort for dinner and his work. How would he expect her to look one way for diner and then from thee to the party looking different. He should be thankful he had a beautiful person to go to his work party and stop being so vain. He's an emotion verbal psychological abuser
how so? I have PTSD and marked as SMI from my abuser from a relationship. Even i can tell this man was a real Ahole but not an abuser. he didn't insult her , he just didn't approve. Just because a man is a mean a*****e does not make him abusive.
As someone who's been on the receiving end of abuse, I can say that a narcissist can make you believe this 100%. But that's not what's really happening--it's part of the grooming process. The goal is to get her to think that he's such a good advocate for women, that he wants her to feel comfortable how they are, etc. But it will escalate. I couldn't wear red, orange or yellow shirts for 9 years because "they didn't look good with my complexion."
I agree with this-I myself would have worried about dressing business casual or formal unless I was told ahead of time I could do otherwise. It’s his employer. I would worry about this with mine or with his. I also think the makeup comments were a shortsighted attempt at a compliment. Especially if he is a young, sensitive guy he may feel it’s a way to take pressure off. Just say you wear the makeup for you, you actually do enjoy it. It’s not a red flag unless he actually pressures you to change it after you state it is your own preference. Commenting alone isn’t bad.
She looked beautiful and he was being emotionally abusive. Get over it.
i have PTSD from a emotionally and physical abusive relationship, the man was not abusive , he offered her a uber and didn't insult her but let her know he did not approve. He's a D**** don't get me wrong , but women need to stop tossing the word abuse around for every time a man is 'mean' it's really pathetic.
Smart words
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Women being smelly fish. Calling anything a man does as "abusive". No wonder nobody cares to hear their opinion. That's the equivalent to the N word. Saying "abusive" for everything. Sick!!
She looks so adorable. I hate guys like this
On the bright side he didn't tell her she smelled bad like the creep we read about here a few days ago. I think she looked beautiful and she really needs to raise her standards in men.
Jeezum Crow, I don't know where those guys come from but we should pour concrete on that hellhole and lock it forever!
That is a personal opinion. I wouldn't take my partner to a workfunction if they were dressed this casually. Pretty sure that top is even shorter than the pic shows, she's pulling it down. Perfectly fine for the beach or a garden party or similar, not so much for a work thing.
That was my feeling about it, it WAS a business function she was going to accompany him to, her outfit wasn't entirely appropriate, regardless whether or not it's an athliesure company (and most athliesure clothing actually COVERS your body), but that's also his work and professional life. I wouldn't have worn something like that to a partners work party myself personally.
Ohh no, women's skin and abdomen is so offense./S. Who gives a sh*t, really. Athleisure clothing isn't even always made for doing actual athletic sh*t, it's just for pretentious aholes to pretend they work out. Most people who actually work out wear less than what she's wearing, so f him and f you for pulling the not like other girls card.
It's not her job. It's not her work place. You have to keep in mind everything in this story is from her perspective. She even said she knew what was coming, because he had mentioned the way she dressed before. I would say the basic rule of thumb when you're going to a work function of a friend or partner is to ask what the kind of function/dress is needed and to try to dress appropriately for their work function. How she dresses directly reflects on the person who invited her, as she is not affiliated with his work place, and no one else invited her.
Spoken like someone who doesn't work out, is underappreciated, and overlooked. How's 7th grade my dude.
Thank you @Bored_Random to be one of the only actual people to read and understand the article. 😆
Most women's athleisure includes crop tops, sports bras, yoga tanks, etc. Her blouse was much less revealing than those items. If it was a function where it would’ve been appropriate for her to ONLY wear athleisure clothes, he should’ve said so, specifically. She lives in a van; she probably doesn’t have a huge wardrobe from which to choose, so if the event had a certain dress code, or theme, he should’ve informed her. I think it was reasonable for her to get dressed up for dinner and an evening event, but I also think that if I was going to a work event with a new boyfriend, I’d ASK if there was a dress code. There was probably miscommunication from both people, and if they BOTH have dramatic reactions to a situation that didn’t have to be that serious, they are better off apart.
Except he said she was OVER-dressed. Not underdressed. She emphasized he was wearing sweatpants and works for an athleisure company... you guys all have horrible reading comprehension. 😭
It's likely a mental disorder and it's not limited to guys only.
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Guys/men are the REAL crazy ones and girls/women are the REAL sane ones, you female-bashing dingus
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Do you believe then that guys/men are REAL subhuman losers and women are REAL perfect human beings?
ya'll seem really stuck on "men=bad" i'm male, i don't seem that bad, what about male to female trans people? do they suddenly become "subhuman losers?"
Any person that is trans anything needs a therapist.
Yes she looked fine. You are all missing the point. She was going to meet his coworkers and friends at a work function. You do NOT show up in a belly shirt. That's akin to a guy showing up to meet her parents in shorts and sandals. It has nothing to do with her looks and everything to do with dressing appropriately for a certain function. If they were going out dancing that outfit would be perfect.
At first with her jacket on, it looked like she was wearing a black brassiere as a top. Not surprised he was uncomfortable with her appearance.
HE said she was overdressed. He was wearing leisure clothes. They were going to a work party for an athleisuire retail company. Maybe read the whole article
I read the article, but he didn't say she was over dressed, she said he had gotten in her case before about being overdressed. He says he felt bad. She started talking about how she was dressed because she felt he was staring at her, and she thought it was about the clothes. Meaning she already knew that he was going to most likely not like the clothes. I think she was being rediculous.
To call it toxic behaviour stretches it.. maybe a dumb move. Wasn't everyone on the fathers side the other day when the daughter wanted to go to a wedding (formal dresscode) in leggings and a crop top? Not everyone has the same taste. I just wonder why he started dating her if he didn't find her attractive the way she presents herself? And tbh, if it was a work function where he'd know most people would wear old clothes, sportswear, pyjamas, and she arrives in much fancier clothes and looks - she'd stand out. Like wearing heels when going to a building site. Excuses are available. But he was an asshole about it, and the situation is solved. Case closed, Hopefully the guy has learned a lesson.
The wedding is a seperate issue since theres usually a dress code that includes color and shape of the dress for the girls. Unless specified otherwise it's not a good idea to wear something that will attract attention away from the main characters. For this story I think the guy over reacted. I also agree with you, calling this toxic is a bit of a stretch. On one hand I feel like he should be allowed to comment /critique her outfit. But on the other hand I don't think she was wearing anything too revealing. Maybe he was more religious, conservative, traditionalist. (Anyone of those word)
Wearing an outfit with your stomach showing to a business opening is crossing the line a little. Why didn't she have respect for the dress code of the event?
Except he said she was overdressed... not underdressed. He was wearing sweatpants because it's an athleisure company. Why can't people on this website read?
Same reason why people like the cheeto get voted in
Dude you really need to learn to read or something.
Ohh no, women's abdomens are so sexual and offensive, how will a grown adult ever get through their day seeing flesh.
Next time when you go for a job interview please wear a bikini after all you dont care how people present themselves . Men are supposed to lower their gaze while you shove your T*Ts right down their faces . I usually keep one of my testicle out on the subway sometimes and guess what it is usually the women that stares at it and call it inappropriate even though just like boobs testicles are not sexual part of ones body .
It's not a woman's fault if you can't control your libido. We don't dress specifically so YOU can feel comfortable. You don't like it? Move to a country where women are forced to wear head to toe covering so you won't be tempted
A bit late response BUT... At least for me the problem here it's that he didn't tell her that there was a dresscode at all and for all we known there wasn't one since he was wearing joggers and running shoes. He probably just told her they were going to a work event where she'd meet his friends/co-workers and then she dressed to make a first impression. That might have been a mistake on both parts. It's when you add up the fact he had critsized and being trying to tell her How to dress or not for weeks that It gets controlling/abusive. It's the fact It was not a isolated incident, just a keeping up a pattern
There probably wasn't a dress code, by the fact he went back later and said that in the end what she wore would have been fine... The problem probably was that he was into casual looks and that's what he wanted to portray to others, probably. Especially if he worked in a world where people dress fit all the time... Instead she liked to dress up. Instead of moving on or accepting it he kept critiquing her look.
I think there's a difference between what you wear on a date vs what you wear in other social situations. Perhaps he liked her flirty look for dating but not in every social situation. I don't think that is toxic. That's his preference. It's his work function, she should have taken ques from him as to what would be appropriate at the function, because it was HIS work function. Nothing toxic about that. I believe she was being unreasonable
No, it is actually toxic and controlling behaviour. Don’t try to normalize it.
Rachel, if a woman told her boyfriend that he couldn't come to a grand opening because he was dressed inappropriately, I think most women would support her. Why do their positions change when the genders are flipped?
I think the bigger issue is he didn't just say something right away and then SENT HER HOME IN AN UBER. He couldn't bring her home?
No, they both knew they were going to his job’s grand opening. She should have considered whether or not her choice would distract people from the event, because he could’ve been fired for bringing her.
Fired at an event where people arel wearing gym/leisurely wear. Wow uptight businesses
You act like she turned up in daisy dukes and a tube top. 🙄
Men: Women, look pretty for us! Women: - put on makeup and heels- Men: No, not like that….
That kind of behavior isn't how mentally healthy person behaves and it doesn't apply to men only.
You're the type who doesn't call out your male friends if they sexually harass women, huh. Bro stfu no one said otherwise. But this is clearly within the subject of the story, and men do have a long history of pulling this crap. So go away lol
Women have a long history of being manipulative and deceitful, too. So how about you be the one to stfu. I'll bet you don't call women out for things you whine about men doing. "Bruh". Foh.
It is a really ugly outfit though
no need to be rude, 'Greg' said that to her because he thinks she overdressed and too revealing
Nah, the outfit was trash. Nobody wears puffy azz pirate crop top….
Yeah nobody, that's why they sell it?
Greg did not say that in this story. He never said that, SHE stuff that. He said nothing. He says I feel bad. She says, is that your way of saying I'm over dressed, and he says nothing. For all we know he actually called her an Uber because she was argumentative and under dressed, and who wants to bring trouble to their work function?
Well that’s just mean. As much as I agree she really should have dressed conservatively for a work event, there is nothing wrong with the outfit for just hanging out. She can have her own personal style expression.
Oh no! Part of her abdomen was showing!
I believe this person was being supportive of the outfit, not insulting it.
Jerk, it was amazing.
The idea of crying on camera for the internet makes me… uncomfortable.
I think it would have been better for him to let her know before the date that the dress code was conservative. This would have allowed her to accept or reject the date before she went through the hassle of getting ready and both of them would had a better position to retain their dignity. Now both have them have been hurt and that can't be good for anyone.
She says he had mentioned in the past that he had started to talk to her about how she dressed. But I'm this story he never said anything to her about her clothes until she moved out. If you look at the story he says she looked pretty, said I feel bad, and she suggested it was about her attire. I think she baited him a bit.
It was the opposite of conservative, it was casual and she was dressed up too much, it literally says that
It sounds like she asked him “how do I look?” and he gave her an honest answer which she didn’t particularly care for. Both of them dodged a bullet honestly, as who wants to be with someone you have to lie to, someone who asks your “opinion” but expects a certain answer and becomes angry/upset when they don’t get it?
What an a**e. I swear people should have to have a license before they're allowed to date.
They need psychiatric assessments for being allowed in public
It was a formal event. Why is she complaining about the results of her own actions?
It was NOT a formal event. HE said she was overdressed. HE was wearing leisure clothes. Read the article. Her outfit was fine
I'd like his side of the story first before jumping to conclusions.
I would have been embarrassed also...She is beautiful but that outfit makes her look like a french poodle lol. Reading the story I was like wow what an jerk but after seeing that horrible outfit I was like yeah I would have been embarrassed as well I wouldn't have sent her home but I would have had to just been super embarrassed the whole night. So ladies if your man dressed up in a tank top and tie dye parachute pants and loafers would you all been so understanding???
The outfit is fine. It may not be everyone's taste but it's fashion forward and she would have been fine at a corporate event. The problem it was casual and he prefers that and they were mismatched. If he wanted her to wear sneakers like him he should have said. He went about that wrong. But even if that's his preference he shouldn't bug her to dress that way if she doesn't want to. Insulting her for her outfit just makes you kinda gross and judgy
I think the point is it isn't about her. It's his work function. It isn't the time for her to make her fashion forward statement or to express herself. Sorry. Most employees don't get to excited their full personality at work. It's work, and you're expected to be professional. Every when you're having a fun event you still have to be mindful that is work related. She should have followed his lead for this occasion.
Comparing an ugly ass outfit for any event to wearing a shirt that shows a bit of skin is not the same. Idk what's not clicking for you people lol. And to compare men's attire to women's attire is stupid. Most Men don't wear crop tops anymore since the 80s, so to unfairly compare is dumb. Either gender could wear the awful outfit you described.
Stfu, you are annoying.
So are you
I just wish she had covered her stomach for an event like this.
Exactly! It had to do with his WORK!
Why? Do you think her abdomen has magic seduction powers? HE was wearing leisure clothes for a party at a company that sells LEISURE WEAR. JFC Do you people even read these articles?
No I think it's a work function, and what is considered to be professional at his work place isn't something she has any real first hand knowledge of. If she cannot follow his lead in his personal professional space she's not mature enough to have a real partner unless they both just want to live in her van. When you're working you play the game and present your best self. She wasn't willing to take him into consideration over what she felt like wearing to HIS work function. She's drama.
Right? My thought exactly.
I'd like to start off saying "Boohoo" this article stinks. Dude shoots 3 people but doesn't go to prison no one has nothing to say. Dumb girl whining because some guy didn't like her outfit the whole world is talking. Are you kidding me right now?!!?!!.. Find this dude send him a better woman then send this chick a dirty Kleenex for here fake tears. STOP USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO BASH OTHERS...If you don't like how he thinks or what he likes then kick rocks. I hate when people do this crap.
Exactly. He got her a ride home. People are accustomed to thinking anyone, owes them anything.
People just abuse social media . Seriously ….instagram famous for over dressing an occasion and getting an Uber ride home . The guy didn’t think her attire was appropriate for the occasion , so he feels bad and gets her a ride home . The lady should of dressed a little more properly for the occasion instead of trying to catch her dates eye ….modern day shivery in my opinion
Chivalry.
Either correct everything or nothing. The Shivery was downright charming.
Communication could have avoided this. If he would have said to her it was a conservative dress code she could have had a better position to accept or reject before going through the hassle of getting ready. That would have given more dignity to both parties.
It wasn't conservative though, it was like casual leisure wear. The article said he was constantly saying she was overdressed and wore too much makeup. I think the outfit was fine even in a casual event setting. The problem was he wanted someone different who doesn't dress up and she enjoyed dressing up... and they were mismatched.
I want to back her but if the genders were switched then we would say that the guy was being immature and rude to not be considerate to something that made her uncomfortable and could get her in trouble. I think there should be been a compromise rather than a "my opinion in a situation that involves your career is more important than your opinion and I'm going to end the relationship if I don't get exactly/everything I want."
Most men don't casually wear crop tops anymore, so I don't think it's smart to compare women's attire to men's attire. The issue is that he's been wanting her to dress more like him, more homely, even though she personally seems to enjoy being dressed up. This isn't an out of the blue thing, she stated he's been doing stuff like this Beforehand. The fact that some people are still offended by women's skin, especially a freaking abdomen, is proof of sexism and internalized misogyny. Wearing a fashionablecrop top vs wearing homely ass sweats to any event, tell me which is worse. (:
I agree with you, the fact people are losing their s**t because she has a midriff boggles the mind especially since it's a pretty formal short blouse. I mean it's not gym or even close to club wear.
These two don't seem like they belong together, but I'm not sure he's a monster. Try and look at the guy's point of view: he was concerned her clothes would make it harder for her to fit in. He tried to gently suggest that, emphasizing so strongly that she is in fact beautiful that that's all he actually says. But she knew he thought maybe the event had a different tone than what she was dressed for. No problem, he won't make an issue of it. But she won't let it die, until the point where she all but threatens to leave him. He gets hurt, and says, "fine... go!" but then regrets it. Definitely a screw-up on his part... but "abusive ... manipulative ... a**h*1e?" Not sure.
He may not have been hurt. He may have thought of she was that worked up she would be trouble at the function. They were arguing and he'd barely said 10 words. Maybe it wasn't the clothes that motivated the Uber, maybe it was the entire situation.
Or a little of both... point is, we don't know he's the AH
I agree. I don't think he's TA at all. It's a professional call, I believe, and not a personal one. He made a professional decision about the woman he was bringing to his work function... A woman he hadn't known long, who was living in a van when he met her, and who he had already discussed her clothing choices. It was a good choice, because most likely the argument was going to escalate at the work function. You can tell she never considered herself a guest in the situation at all.
I hate the outfit.... I have girls and don't allow them to show belly... I think it was clay of the guy to try and let you know he liked you but your attire was something that bothered him, and he told you early.... If you two can't learn to make changes for one another early you weren't meant to be, get over it.
Why are you sexualising women's stomachs ? Do you get upset at seeing men's stomachs too ? If men's stomachs don't bother you, then the problems is not with women, it's with you.
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Casual work attire does not mean show your belly like a teenager. She is beautiful and the outfit would be perfect for a dinner out or drinks but she was to be formally meeting his coworkers. I dont think it was abuse I don't think he was telling her how to dress I think he panicked as well. He didn't know how to approach the situation or resolve it. When you're looking for a forever person something like this, a stick in the mud, should not break the relationship. Grow a pair, talk about it and learn from it. Thats how a relationship becomes something. They both made mistakes, he should have been real and she shouldnt have left and maybe worn a different shirt or kept her jacket closed.
Sometimes these things die they're a bad fit. If she considered him having an opinion about how she dressed at his work function to be abuse is likely they're a bad match, because you can't have a real talk with each other when she considers him having any feelings on his she is dressed to be abuse and mistreatment.
I feel so bad for her. However, I am of an older generation. If anyone wore a crop top to my place of employment or to an event they would be immediately terminated. Even my kids high school's student handbook says that anyone who shows up in a crop top will be sent home. And I know that that has been every school's rules for decades. So no one who is as young as Ms. Jabs should still remember those rules. I'm really sorry to post a 'negative review' but, it is what it is. All schools and most employers still have had the same dress code since around the 70's. She does look cute for a date or even a second (or higher) meeting of his family. But most definitely not for a business function. So just give the guy a tiny bit of pity as he remembered these same rules and clearly was afraid that he might get into trouble. However, he should have brought up the company's dress code policy the day he told her about the event, definitely NOT the night of. So very sorry. Chin up!!
What people wear to work or school is a bit different to what they wear to a work function. Even so, she was going as his partner - the bloody company dress code has nothing to do with her.
Just because they can't for her doesn't mean that she, as good guest, won't leave an impression that the boyfriend will have to deal with. And I do think he mentioned dress to her before, because he didn't have to say anything about it, she brought up he was staring at her because of how she was dressed. She out right says that he mentioned her being "overdressed" in the past. So she knew she was picking a fight, which he didn't preticipate in. He says she was beautiful, he said he felt bad, she says everything else, and he called her an Uber. I don't know how you read what she says happened and walk away accusing him of abuse... For all we know him calling an Uber had nothing to do with her clothes.
Look, the guy was most likely uncomfortable with her coming to an office party in clothing that may be seen as revealing and sloppy to his superiors, so he gently told her to change her outfit and offered her a ride home. A bit prissy? Yes. Monstrous and abusive? No.
Umm...she just met the guy and was already LIVING WITH HIM.....she’s hardly a catch herself. Please tell me when people stop airing their personal lives all over social media for clout and to be placed upon that almighty, coveted VICTIM THRONE. Give me a break. Don’t know what is more sad. Her posting her pathetically conjured up tear filled eyes on the internet...or the fact hat almost 8 MILLION PEOPLE VIEWED IT!!! 🤬
I dunno man. It was his WORK event. If she wanted to tag along she should know there's most likely gonna be a way he's gonna want to represent himself and you being with him is representing him too. He didn't say anything you did. He said you were pretty and you pulled out of him his dislike for your outfit which honestly was quite atrocious. Then you offered the ultimatum to either not go or go in that you're wearing. He offered then to pay for your ride back since you were clear you didn't want to change your clothes and go to the event. He expressed that admitting he disliked your clothes made him feel bad.Then after the fact he apologized and admitted he was wrong. If he was a narcissist he would've continued to say what she was wearing was ugly or even said so immediately and not tip toe around it.
Am I missing something??She said she picked him up from work, to go to a restaurant, then to his work function, but she had to take an Uber home?
She didn't say she was driving. I assumed she'd got in a taxi and picked him up on the way.
You are 100% correct. She picked him up. If you carefully read most of these "tales of horror", you'll find many of them don't add up.
It adds up if you care to expand your mind that picking up doesn't mean she drove her van there. She could've walked there, she could've use his car, she could've used an Uber, she could've ridden a stolen donkey there, and so forth.
I would've sent her home too. Who shows their whole stomach to a work event? It's called class... People should try to have some.
I don't see why people are giving this man a bad rap. It's his job to be honest with her, and he was. Also, I assume she didn't ask him what specifically she was supposed to wear, so that's on her. I don't know much about job functions, so I don't know if they're supposed to be formal or not, but that jacket she was wearing wouldn't fit the theme of his job or any event for that matter except for a runway fashion show. She's exaggerating with all the crying over being sent home by an Uber. Damn, she even said "yeah go ahead. Send me home in an Uber" and she's the one crying. Either way, she feels like "If my date doesn't like my outfit and offers to send me home to change, that's mental and emotional abuse." I know it's been happening for 3 weeks, but maybe she should've taken the hint beforehand. Greg has different preferences and maybe she should think whether her outfits are suitable for different occasions, and if she doesn't like his preferences, so be it. Ne need for crying.
You and I are on the same page. Emotionally ABUSE is such a broad term now days. Oprn and honest communication in a relationship is entirely necessary. If two people have two different standards that doesn't make one toxic and the other righteous. But if you're coming to my job you should vibe with my standard, or you should opt to stay home, no hard feelings. But if my opinion of what you're wearing or how your behaving is automatically considered toxic, abusive and manipulative idk how people plan to stay together. Not every guy wants his co workers ogling his girlfriend. Not every woman wants to show a bunch of skin. Some guys like a sexy dressed woman all the time. It's not a right or wrong situation. It's preferences and compromises. You don't stay together without discussing preferences and making some compromises. Have we really gotten to where having to make a choice for your partner's comfort or benefit is automatically abuse? I worry a bit about when this generation gets old.
He wasn’t in the wrong. He told her before hand that they were going to a grand opening, and if he brought her looking like that, she would have gotten him fired. There’s a huge difference between personal style and presentation style, and she was dressed for personal style.
Gotten him fired for having a partner with him showing a tiny bit of midriff? What kind of backward, totalitarian, 1984 athleisure company is this???
I once had a girl that did not know anything about style, she sent me to change every time...she was not right, my friends make me find out
I'm glad you have good friends to warn you that it's a bad sign when someone makes you change for every single occasion.
Meh idk.. it really depends on the whole picture. My brother's wife would throw away his clothes and dress him when they were teenagers and it really bothered me. But, they've been married over 20 years, she still dresses him and their kids, and they look sharp ALL of the time. Clothes aren't everything, you got to look at the whole picture.
Another case of I can do and say and wear whatever I want without consideration of anyone else. A pretty girl dressed as if she's going to a nightclub. Had she been considerate of her date she would have inquired as to the appropriate attire for the occasion. I'm a woman and I would have sent her home in an Uber as well. When you're out with other people you need to respect their feelings and how your actions reflect upon them. She made a mistake in her attire for the occasion and hopefully she will be more respectful of her companions feelings next time.
You look gorgeous! He handled the situation horribly, but I might take the unpopular opinion to note that such outfit could be considered inappropriate for a formal occasion. I would compare it to a man wearing shorts or flip-flops with socks. The woman should have asked for the dress code, the man should have handled the situation in a more sensible way. And no, this is not a women equality issue or a feminist issue, it's just simply a dress code that applies to both genders.
Whether wore was not formal either. Read the story again.
Oops ... what he wore ...
Idk if your going to a professional function with your significant other and they say showing your midriff is not appropriate for their work function, you should change. Work is a different atmosphere, one that the person who works there understands completely over the one that does not, and supporting each other requires that you represent them well at such a function or kindly opt out of attending that kind of function. I've gone to many work functions with my husband, from casual baseball games for team building, to cocktail parties, to Christmas parties where the gowns come out. My job at these events is to be charming, and on his arm because his work environment is not about me. It's about him. Not everything is about you all the time.
Unless the party was at a beach, cover yourself the hell up. You'd be furious if your date showed up in shorts or a tank top. What makes you think this was an appropriate outfit to a corporate party, honestly.
It wasn't a corporate party, genius. If you could read you'd know it was semi casual leisure wear. He said she was overdressed. Hope you don't do a job that requires reading comprehension.
Yes it was! It was a work function. Yes that makes it formal, that makes what she wears as his guest matter. Just because the company sells leisure ware doesn't mean that his boss would consider midriff showing to be unprofessional and he never said she was overdressed. SHE SAID THAT in her one sided story based on her point of view. He didn't answer her when she asked him according to her. Stop posting this as a fact over and over again when it is contrary to what she actually said and common sense. Guests don't set the tone for what is expected at a work function, the employers do. Imposing her view of appropriate clothing on his work function isn't defendable. She doesn't work there, she's not paying for his lifestyle. She lives in a van. His job, his call. He opted to not have her there. Good choice.
Beans, read the article for once. it was a grand opening at his work place and in no moment he said she was over dressed, all the cotnrary! how are you commenting so blindingly without reading first?
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Shorts and a tank top is fine if they arent gonna die of the cold lol. how f*****g old are you?
I think maybe he should've just better communicated to her what the event attire was. This sounds like a simple communication issue that got blown out of proportion. Sending her home was a bit much though. I think he needs to work on his own insecurities. He could've stood by his woman. The other people probably wouldn't have cared that much and if they did, it's their problem not his or hers. But, I think it's also okay to have patience for someone who got flustered and didn't know how to handle it. Men are allowed to be overwhelmed and confused sometimes too
You can't go wrong with wearing all black
Unless it looks like a negligee.
I can relate. I was dating a guy who was attending Harvard and while we had great chemistry and I matched him intellectually and had common interests, I came from a family of generational poverty and was working at Walmart at the time. I had no money in which to pursue a career in Psychology as I had always wanted. Needless to say, after a few months of dating secretly (even paying to fly me out to Boston to stay with him for a weekend), he broke up with me. His reason? He was too embarrassed to bring me home to his parents because I had nothing going for me that they would value and I wasn't worth the fight. Talk about a soul crushing experience. While I moved past it, the fact I'm still trapped due to the limitations of opportunities that comes from poverty, what he said still echos back to me from time to time with a, "See, he was right. You were never going to amount to being worth anything." The damage words do is real.
You are worth everything. To your family, to your friends. Do not let the words of someone depreciate your value and self worth. If you feel you can improve then do it. But do not let the words of idiots bring you down. To be honest for him to say that he does not deserve you or any woman until he learns respect. I am sorry this happened and was said to you. You deserve better.
This would have made a far more interesting BP post then some woman crying on camera for internet points.
F*ck him and his BS, queen
Maybe I'm old but the writer seems to be putting a lot of spin on the original story, which itself was only one side of the story. It's possible the OP was the one who misjudged the situation. I don't think he's a narcissist or embryonic abuser, but I do think you should get to know someone before you move into their place.
Look I have to disagree with the angry comments here I don't have the whole story and I wasn't there but he did probably almost exactly what I would have done I would have been nervous and probably wouldn't have said anything and then she offered to change and he turned her down saying it was fine and then she told him he had to pick between her going to a casual party in eye very eye catching cloths where his boss and coworkers are or her going home to which this person who wanted to keep their job payed for her ride. If you give someone two options and one of them constitutes the end of the relationship that should be conveyed. And when he found out how much it meant to her he tried to apologize (and gave her back her laptop) . All I'm saying is A. It's relatively not that long a relationship he does not owe you his job and B. If he tells you its causal and you spend 40 minutes on makeup that's your bad. I'm very sorry that this incident upset the both of you.
Also he started the interaction with the fact that he thought she looked good at no point during this is there evidence he meant harm or hard feelings
how is this anyones fault? simply two people who don't share their views.. I have never been in a relationship with anyone who puts effort in their outfit and now i'm happily married to a beautiful woman who does not own makeup or heels, doesn't shave and wears whatever is first in the closet. To each his own-it's obvious that these guys have insurmountable differences and they will find happiness with other-likeminded-people.
The outfit was his excuse, his reaction was her excuse. And now the wheel spins on with us to validate their experience... He may be narcissistic, and so might she be for needing our validation. Wake up from the charade, folks, or you're never gonna be able to go deep with that special someone because you'll be too caught up in what culture expects from your relationship. What do you expect from you, is the only right question. Neither he nor she are wrong here, this is just what they wanted and what happened. And yes, she and her outfit are YAS QUEEN... and none of us know his work environment.
But what I want is what everyone else has to want and if they want something else then they’re a total a*****e and I’m gonna cry and post it on the internet so everyone can tell me I’m right and if they say I’m wrong then I’ll call them s**t too! Bahhhhh, look at meeee
💯 this! So right Tracy. You left out the part where she moved back into her van because living in your car on social media is cool and she's a master of basic life skills. Let's all rally behind her because obviously questioning her choices is toxic and abusive.
HIS work function, HIS call. If the situation were reversed, I'd agree with her sending him home. At least he paid for the Uber.
I feel like i need a lot more context
But, she left her laptop at his place.....CossstannzA!
Yeap, she took everything and forgot the LAPTOP?!?
Stop!.WHAT SHE WORE IS LOUD & HIDEOUS! THEN WENT SKIN TIGHT! A simple shirt, pants & MUCH less eye makeup. Then BRIGHT RED JACKET? OMG!
Both parties in the wrong here. She was poorly dressed for what appears to have been a semi-formal or "business attire" occasion. He didn't advise her when he invited her and then couldn't express himself effectively.
bill, no offence, but how was he supose to know she will have such poor tate and sense? most women are even more sensible when it comes to fashion and appropiate even attire than men, even. i don't realyl think is any of his fault here. can't really see it,
It wasn't semi formal. It literally says casual leisure wear. Also what she's wearing it's kind of formal. Just because she's showing some midriff doesn't mean it's not business.
Beans you really need to read the article you keep saying people didn't read in an unbiased way.
Guys stop overreacting, maybe he works on an Amish farm.
Tbh.. I think we all sometimes make mistakes on how we should dress up, and there's nothing wrong in making them, but, the whole situation could have been handled better and more subtly. If you say to your gf that you wish she'd change her outfit for an occation, and the gf immediately breaks up with you, do you guys think it's normal also? I personally don't see one person here being at fault. But both of them miscommunicating and misunderstanding each other. Plus, breaking up over small thing like that, I dunno.. If you actually like the person, why would you do that. Just to make a point that "you can't ever disagree with me", or "you can't tell me what to wear". It's like the famous question, to which there is no right answer: "does this dress make me look fat?". Honestly, I think both of them need to become more mature.
Women these days need to learn to be a little more modest... If you want to be seen as a princess, then you must carry yourself like a princess....Dress with a little bit of class... Good guys don't want their woman showing off skin to everyone.... A belly shirt was very inappropriate for a first impression at a work party
It was a casual leisure clothing event and he thought she was overdressed. As for her shirt, it's a short blouse and she has a jacket over it. You are projecting a lot and making assumptions about what you think is 'classy' or appropriate. You sound sexist.
He may have said overdressed, but more like he meant whorish.
I think to judge someone based on one comment and one situation is as superficial as it gets.
He might have known what was appropriate for the situation and people involved. But they shouldn't be together.
This guy can best be described as what noted political analyst Lucy Van Pelt would call "a blockhead".
TikTok has a new story for us :) Thanks TikTok
This is ringing a lot of alarm bells for me, as someone who endured a lifetime of narcissistic abuse; right out of the gate this guy is criticizing her makeup, her shoes, her clothes, even sending her home because he doesn't like what she's wearing. These are major red flags that should not be ignored, because they *always* start small to test your boundaries, and gradually escalate from there.
oh Tracy, please, let's not confuse poor dressing taste, and overssensitive behavoiur to narcissism on his side. is not the case here. she was going on a formal event on his work place.you'd think she has a bit more sense. plus, she was the one asking to go back home becuse he actually pointed out rightfully so that the outfit is not appropiate for such event. everyone is jumping on the narcissim train witout counting the whole context. for pete sake, really, this rings more red bells for her than him.
OR as much as he might like her, he was too uncomfortable with her dressing like a ho.
She was picking him up from work, she has a van and he will call Uber for her to go home? I don't get it. I think that her outfit is nice, not too reveling, however for a business celebration gathering I would choose something a bit more conservative.
It's a cute outfit, and you looked ok. It's just that it may not be an appropriate outfit if it was a semi professional business get together
The outfit was professional enough, the event was actually leisure/athletic wear. That was the problem, it was going to be more casual he thought. But he was probably wrong when he got there and noticed people with all kinds of outfits. Which is why he said later it would have been fine probably. Do people not read the articles?
When your dating your attracted to one another and your exploring everything together. Along this journey you are trying to understand how each other live, dress, eat . I don't believe that to attract a partner you slowly change their life to your pleasure or control what they wear, where they go, what they eat. The thought of telling a date what to do and how to do it is called control.This was not a mistake of words because those words have come out several times.Runnnnnnn.
So he didn't like her style & dumped her, how is that different from any woman dumping a man, because she doesn't like his looks? & all the extra drama is just that... drama!
I think he's the one who dodged the bullet here. She moved into his place right after meeting him? And there's not a woman out there that hasn't picked out her man's clothes but omg if a man tries to do the same thing he's abusive.
i mean...i don't wanna be the devil's advocate here, but that's not really a good attire for such event. surely his reaction is also a bit extreme (if is truly how she describes it) but ths woman needs to also do some reseach to get a sense of how to dress for certain occasions. i mean a date with him only ok, but a fromal event? a bit unappropiate. it feels she really need some advices when it comes to dressing. anyone who says that this outfit is "cute" for a grand openng needs a reality check. this is cute for your local cafe, read the atmosphere. in some places a certain etiquette is needed. i can't blame him complelty, but his reaction was too strong too. she just need a good friend with decent taste and good sense when it come to occasions, to take advice.
Can't wait to see how many down votes this gets, but it seems obvious that his comments about her wearing too much makeup and overdressing were code for he thought she looked like a ho and to please tone it down. Failing to take the hint she chose a hot pink satin jacket that made the black top underneath look like lingerie. Not surprised he was too uncomfortable to bring her to the work event. Doubt their tastes will ever mesh and hope they've both found more compatible mates.
He didn’t tell her to go home, she pushed him for an ultimatum so there’s that. Do I think he was a jerk for caring what others think over his girlfriend? Yes. Her outfit was fine. They both jumped in pretty fast moving in together after only 3 weeks. I get she lives in her van but they just don’t seem suited as people. I don’t think it’s abusive. Just shallow & both seem petty.
Simple facts.. Does everything have to go on social media?? It's ridiculous 😒
I would have done the same thing. What was she thinking wearing that to a formal work function....
I was called a prostitute because I left my dance studio too tired to change, i had to walk home, i was wearing my leotard (pink) and my ballet skirt (also pale pink/cream coloured) my hair was in a bun--a man stopped me and asked if i wanted to come home with him. i said no, and he grabbed my arm and started to pull me. thankfully i was walking with a friend and she hit him with her bag. we ran.
There is more to this story. Everyone is quick to judge after hearing one side of the story then proceeding to call names and abuse the guy that hasn’t had a chance to speak… Let’s be kind and encouraging.
He should have told her ahead of time what would be "appropriate" apparel for the event he was taking her to.
“the attention that the story has garnered has definitely kept my mind off of the fact that I just went through a breakup.
K so maybe she overdressed but he then SENT HER HOME LIKE A NAUGHTY CHILD. He does not get to underdress then complain about her overdressing then try and get her back the next day. If he complains about every little thing she does then he is being insecure but then again he might just be nervous around the girl he cares about so yeah sending her home is weird but for the rest you need more context and even that she asked him to call her an Uber so yeah we got half a story where she is clearly not saying everything that needs to be said
Spoiler alert all these stories are made up
My ex did this to me. I asked him if it bothered him that I was a little taller than him. He said why would I mind having a tall nice looking blonde on his arm. Later on he complained and asked me to wear flats. I put on makeup for a date he told me the only women who should be wearing makeup were actors on stage. The second time I wore makeup he said that if I needed money To ask him for it. There was no reason to ‘walk the streets’. Yes, he implied I was a prostitute. I wear eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara sometimes lip stick that’s all. Be glad you noticed he was verbally abusing you when you did. It continued for years. I didn’t even notice. Until I kicked him out. Then I realized I was a completely different person. Than when we started dating. Shoshana Sherrington yes it is abuse. But there are no scars to see on the outside. Just the scars on the inside no one sees but you.
I hope she never talks to him again. This is a first glimpse of abusive behavior, it will only get worse from here.
Men have no business telling a women how to dress. I had dates that made comments to me about my appearance. and that was the last comments they made to me.
It was a formal event. If she can't follow the rules of the event, she shouldn't complain if she isn't allowed to go.
It was literally the opposite of a formal event, that's the problem.
Just because it was business casual doesn't make it less formal. It may not have been formal dress but it was a formal work event. It is not the time to express your individualism.
Backon Thelevel I think you will find that wine and cats is still better then you <3
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Enjoy being alone with ur wine & cats :) Those days are over as men are taking a stand and trying to save saving relationships and marriage. Just gonna hurt for a bit till the pendulum starts swinging back the other way where it belongs, in the middle.
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That's why we marry foreigners. We treat them good. They treat us good.... All with ZERO of YOUR attitude, princess. Enjoy your wine and cats.
Pretty hot.... his lost
You dodged a bullet.... c'est la vie!
Listen up, you all who think she was inappropriate: Her outfit was casual enough for what was an important event. Unless there was a specific dress code, it actually would have been more inappropriate had she worn what is actually considered casual. She wasn't inappropriate, and dude was in the wrong.
There are 2 sides to all stories. we are only getting one side. Obviously, lack of communication and understanding is the real truth of it all. We also have the ultimatum and "know that you should accept your partner unconditionally". Modern day dating, you can get doxed, a viral video that is not even true ( you saw that one where a guy falls asleep on a plane and the woman next to him does a fake cheating boyfriend video, imagine being a respectable guy dealing with that short of crap) and a ton of other bad outcomes. He made the good choice. If you make an ultimatum, expect your bluff to be called. Also, No you don't have to accept a partner unconditionally. Accepting some of the good, knowing your skill sets, working on the other. Could this be the start of a manipulative relationship, Yes, I can perceive it as such because it seems that both parties are demanding. And he's definitely going down the manipulative road faster than she is.
Was he an insensitive, dodger idiot about how he handled things? Yes. He could've handled it better than making her uncomfortable about how she looks because he feels paranoid about how his work mates will perceive it. I've seen women wear far trashed than that to a company Christmas party, gets wasted to Jesus at the open bar and proceed to dance like a seasoned stripper.. OP is dressed just fine and it's an athleisure company so I don't see it being sneaks and Ts or being a black tie event either.
DUDE I WAS WATCHING THIS WOMAN ON A VIDEO NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS AGO AND THEN I SWITCH BACK TO THIS TAB AND WHAT
This is not yet fully fledged abusive behavior, but it is the beginning of the grooming process. Abusers start by removing your certainty and confidence. In this case, her clothing and how she looks. She states that this has been increasing in regularity. They then convince you to start second guessing yourself ... oh,perhaps this is not appropriate, maybe he's right, I am overdressed'. This guys did NOT straight out say, 'babe, that's a little too much for the opening. You might be overdressed'. What he did was refuse to comment, say nothing was wrong when clearly it was and then waited until after the dinner to send her home. This is the beginning of the gaslighting process. If the OP had accepted that she was sent home (aka punished) for being dressed inappropriately she would have essentially given him the green light to continue with this behavior. This is not abuse. This is how abuse starts.
People, and women especially... know the signs. Establish firm boundaries and STICK to them. Abusers will will always push you to abandon them. If the beginning of the relationship is defined by you feeling unsure or strongarmed into seemingly insignificant things (like what you wear) and second guessing yourself... be very very cautious. Insignificant things become very significant very quickly.
Oh dear God, chill. He likes her but she dresses like a tart. I wouldn't go to a work event with someone dressed like that either. His criticisms are too vague and she's clueless. Bottom line is they probably should both find more compatble partners.
She looks good, maybe not his taste.or the taste of other people to where they were going to.
He acted rather strangely but living in a van is also kind of strange so maybe you belong together?
How would he know where to book her Uber to?
I don't think her story is real this is fake really why is that this story is not on her TikTok page? Are you looking to get attention with your story to have people follow you and hit 7 million followers?
It's not an outfit if wear but... But dude needs to chill...
No excuses for him, whichever way you look at it, he should have handled the situation better. If I was insecure about what employers/managers might think about the appearance of my company, I would have discussed that ahead of time. And his insecurities being projected is a huge red flag, get away from him ASAP
This is the only sane answer here.
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Did she live in her van with a cat? 😒
This story IS also proof that men are subhuman trash and garbage and women are divine goddesses and perfect humans
I can see he was nervous, but if he wanted her to dress more casual he should have said. Plus clothing is an extension of ourselves, so asking someone veto change is like saying I don’t like you like this… so change to how I like you. I agree he may have screwed up but I think he was showing his real self. Maybe he can learn to be accepting and not aspect people to ALL BE THE SAME! If someone commented that my date was outrageous in their dress, maybe saying isn’t it great their creativity and confidence? I love that about her, would have shown REAL leadership qualities!
So he didnt want to be seen in public with a whore? We got bigger things to worry about.
That was a LOT of red flags she skated over. How can someone so darling have such poor standards? She deserves better, I think.
Sad but please stop all the TikTok stuff...
You may be too young to see it, but at 66, I'm not. Trust me. You dodged a bullet with that one! This and his previous passive comments scream "RUN!!" He would only get worse. Sideways comments on your comments, then outright disapproval with the meaning that you do it his way or none, then he would do this to everything about you until you had no self esteem left, couldn't trust any decision you make without running it by him first, and going no where without him because he doesn't trust you, then accusations you are cheating. Laugh as you walk away from that one. I'm glad you didn't go home and change.
Whoa, at first I thought she meant he didn't want her to wear slacks to the occasion. But, reading further he had commented about all her dressing habits. Thank HIM for sending you home in an Uber.
I'd be more concerned with her weight.Or lack of it.Right to get away from this man..the type who will eventually say.."but I love you so much...so you can't see your friends or family,I will phone you ten times a day to see where you are,I'll occasionally have to smack you around for your own good...and the very worst..if I can't have you..who loves you so much..then nobody can"....
Well, there are two sides of the coin, and two side to this story. I am on Nikki's side. I think she should count her blessing because she has left behind perhaps a lifetime of emotional abuse. the guy knew where they were going and he should know the kind of clothes she wears and simply asked if she could wear the dress he like for the function. he said noting and so she dressed, what looked like to me in a comfortable manner, and not inappropriate. so, this guy worrying about what people would think? he didn;t love her, he wanted to show his boys he got a girl. however, Nikki wasn't dressed hot enough. sure a pretty face, but plain comfortable clothes, oh no, that would never do. she forgot her high heels and mini skirt, you know, the hooker look. Peple are cruel by nature. they hey and they get hurt its an endless cycle. It hard to find true love, but the search i s worth it. Nikki's serach begins anew, good for her.
Hey I think you are a very attractive lady and that outfit makes you look that much cuter. I wouldn't worry to much on him obviously he's a Deutsch and you deserve so much better. If his opinion mattered we'd all be listening to him at the moment, I just wish everyone at his shindig knew how big of an a****** he is. Hell I would have took you home to mama anytime of day because you are you not what people want you to be and that trait is extremely rare in this day in age. Keep your head up because the world wants to see you for you, with those eyes, the world and as do I have no reason to worry about your wardrobe. I have two sisters and no brothers so I understand the hurt and pain this may have caused, but you know what it isn't your loss, it's his. I'm actually glad he did what he did because none of your precious, valuable, and considerate time was waisted on an invaluable, and inconsiderate man so be optimistic you wasted a minute amount of time on a guy that wasn't worth it.
Do you mean a 'douche'? A 'deutsch' is something ver