arlo :))
Community Member
2 posts
3 comments
2.8K upvotes
39 points
I like books, music, and everything funny :)) P.S. i'm totally down to be besties
arlo :)) • upvoted 3 items 3 days ago
btechpc reply
Mom of my sons friend would always drop him off at our house to hang out and she would always comment how lovely our house was, which was a sense of pride for me as it was my dream home that I designed and built. Then one day he was going to their house to hang out so I drop him off. Driving down the road to their house and round the corner to what looks like a French ski chateau, just grand and enormous. Let’s just say most of my house could fit in the garage. She opens the door and my jaw hits the ground with the immense opulence and beautiful wood working. We exchanged pleasantries and of course I comment ‘this is a really really lovely place!’ She said thank you and off I went. Picked up the kid later in the day, says how nice the parents and siblings are. Made me realize that not all rich people are a******s, only the ones who act like they have money but really don’t. Was eye opening for me.btechpc reply
Mom of my sons friend would always drop him off at our house to hang out and she would always comment how lovely our house was, which was a sense of pride for me as it was my dream home that I designed and built. Then one day he was going to their house to hang out so I drop him off. Driving down the road to their house and round the corner to what looks like a French ski chateau, just grand and enormous. Let’s just say most of my house could fit in the garage. She opens the door and my jaw hits the ground with the immense opulence and beautiful wood working. We exchanged pleasantries and of course I comment ‘this is a really really lovely place!’ She said thank you and off I went. Picked up the kid later in the day, says how nice the parents and siblings are. Made me realize that not all rich people are a******s, only the ones who act like they have money but really don’t. Was eye opening for me.whatintheactualfeth reply
Went to a new friends house for the first time when I was in the 6th(?) grade. We walked through the front door. Friend: Mom! We're home! Mom comes around a corner: Oh my god! It's so great to finally meet you! Friend talks about you a lot! (Gives me a hug) How are you!? Me: ^I'm ^fine. Mom: Are you hungry? I was about to make us a snack. Dad! Come meet Friend's friend! Dad comes around another corner: Hey kiddo! It's good to meet you. (Shakes my hand) If you guys are good, I'll take you guys to Fun Place later and we'll get some pizza. (Kisses Mom) I'll be in the garage. (Smacks Mom's butt) Mom: (giggles) You guys go play in your room. I'll bring you something to eat. I was stunned. They were nice to me AND each other! I mentioned it to my friend later, and he apologized because they "were so embarrassing". My parents weren't in a room together without at least insulting each other. I really hope Friend's parents are still married and insanely happy. Edit: Since this kinda blew up. They were really the nicest couple. They really loved each other and my friend, from what I saw. I hung out there for a bit, but I ended up moving (again) about a year later. We indeed went for pizza that night, and his mom made a really big breakfast the next morning. The blueberry cake thing she made still lingers in my dreams. They are the couple that I've most tried to emulate in my marriage of nearly 30 years. It really does help to have the right partner, but it is definitely worth the effort.Show All 3 Upvotes
arlo :)) • upvoted an item 1 week ago
arlo :)) • upvoted 6 items 2 weeks ago
Accurate_Western_346 reply
"Can't you see I'm blind?" "No because I'm blind too!" Two blind men before laughing their a**es off after bumping into each other.Wonderful_Whereas402 reply
I was walking along 10th street in Brooklyn when a man walked by on his phone and all I caught of his conversation was "I don't know, I've never owned a f*****g giraffe before."Show All 6 Upvotes
arlo :)) • upvoted 30 items 1 month ago
Tom_Marto reply
My fiance loves to sing around the house - but only when I'm not there or can't hear. She has the most beautiful voice and incredible vocal ability. My secret? When I have my headphones on around the house, she'll sometimes call out to me and I'll pretend I can't hear her at all. She'll often start singing and I turn my headphones off so I can hear her properly. It's been 4 years and she still doesn't know that I purposely ignore her so I can listen to her singing.Thecuriousgal94 reply
I had a “best friend” that would humiliate me in front of groups of friends. One night he decided to do it in front of the guy I had just started dating, sharing really embarrassing/personal stories and wouldn’t stop. Everyone was laughing. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. Have never told a soul about that.unicornbirth reply
I’ve tried to off myself several times before, I have “ letters” hidden everywhere to my husband and my kids and my mom and siblings. I started Zoloft because of it, I had developed a panic disorder about three years ago and no one would take me seriously when i would try to talk about it, other than my husband, I started Zoloft for my anxiety, but in reality I started it so i would stay alive for my husband and my children, and it’s been 4 months in, and the past two weeks I’ve actually felt happy, like excited about living instead of the opposite.confusedhuskynoises reply
Sometimes I tighten jar lids and ask my husband to help me open them. Or I’ll push something just out of my reach if it’s on a high shelf then ask him to grab it for me. I love when he helps me, and I know he loves to do small things for me.BarnacleMcBarndoor reply
Im in love with my best friend. I told her two years ago that I wanted to take her on actual date, and she told me she just wanted to be friends. After that’s It was a couple weeks of her not really talking to me and then unfortunately she had an accident. The accidentally resulted in problems partially impacting both long and short term memory. I didn’t ask if she remembered our conversation. And we more or less went back to the way things were, other than her telling me the same adorable stories over and over again, multiple times a week.CTnaturist reply
I pointed a gun at my stepmom's abusive boyfriend when he was sleeping and couldn't pull the trigger.Able-Badger-1713 reply
I have told a few people. But it’s limited. I am a CSA victim and my abuser made national news twice for the video she took of us boys, not the physical abuse. Police didn’t investigate properly, and when I went to make a report 30 years after the abuse the cop at reception was a hostile, rude aggressive man. I walked out actually crying. The cop quit his job 2 weeks into his investigation. But that cop literally broke me soul. I don’t feel strong enough to open up about my abuse and how hard it’s been being let down by police at every step. 🤷♂️ .FirmlyThatGuy reply
I’ve been secretly trying to make my daughter’s first word “momma” because I know it will make my wife unimaginably happy. She’s doing well with the coaching so I think I’ve got a shot!Killer_Kass reply
A few years ago my dads truck was broken into and he lost all of his rings (he had several silver rings, would take them off to drive bc the wheel rubbing on the rings was iritating. Forgot them in the truck one day and they were all stolen). My dad is not the type to accept gifts, especially if it's a replacement for something that was lost due to his own error. Over the years, I've been slowly replacing them. I'll save up, buy a ring that looks similar to one of the old ones, and then I'll either claim I found it somewhere or leave it for him to find. I replaced 2 by pretending I found them in the snow while out shoveling. Months later I left one outside our front door for him to find. It makes him SO happy everytime one is found. I hope he never finds out I am the one leaving them lol.ItinerantAvenger reply
Back when we were dating, my wife found out I'd never had a surprise birthday party before. She *really* wanted to throw one for me, which I was okay with. Only one problem: it never worked. She'd try almost every year, try throwing surprise parties for other occasions. Each time, as she was planning stuff, I'd pick up on some discrepancy in her cover story, or pick up on something that a friend said, ask about it, and she'd be unable to cover it. Then finally, after years and years of this, she pulled it off. She was delighted and so proud that she at last managed to surprise me. She's talked about it for years, about how close I came to uncovering it. It made her so happy, and it was a lot of fun. Except what actually happened is I finally managed to be quick enough putting the pieces together to stop myself before I asked about the discrepancy in her cover story. Played dumb, pretended I had no idea. Acted surprised when the day came. She will never know.ksozay reply
Sometimes I get up in the morning, shower, get ready, and then get back into bed and pretend to be sleeping just so my daughter can run into our room and wake me up. She's 7, and still loves waking me up in the morning to get my day started by seeing her face first. I pray that I will never know a day that doesn't start like this.Throwaway3223444 reply
I saw a bird shoplifting ring? A sea-gull walked into greggs and stole a packed of crisps (after looking through them all) and walked out, delivered it to another seagull who gave it to another one who opened it and they then all shared the crisps.WhatsLeftOfUs reply
Snoop Dogg on Chatroulette. It was only for a second but I'm convinced it was him.bigstar3 reply
In 1997, I was 17. I was driving my gf at the time home late at night and we are sitting at a stoplight on an overpass above a freeway. An 80's dodge omni comes flying up to the light across from us and barely comes to a stop while the light is still red. I look across at the driver and he looks panicked and frazzled, and I look over at the passenger and that's when s**t got real. There was a girl with duct tape wrapped around her face and shoulders. Her hair was all f****d up and she was crying. It took me a few seconds to even process what I was seeing. I looked at my gf and she looked at me and she burst out crying and said "WTF is going on in that car?" No sooner do I look back, the guy has already turned the wrong way onto a one-way street of the service drive of the freeway (in Michigan, it's common for north-bound freeway traffic to have a north-bound local road along the side of the freeway, for which he'd turned south). I freaked the f**k out. I threw my car in reverse. I tried backtracking and flying down city streets to catch up with him. We did see him at one point in time hit a turn around onto 8 mile, he didn't have a plate on his car. I hurried up and went home (I was only about a half mile from where we were when we saw him hit the turn around). I rushed in and called the cops while my gf frantically tried telling my mom what we saw. The cops came. They took our story. There was never a missing persons story that matched what we said. My mom never quite believed us. It was written off as two teens with overactive imaginations. I know wtf I saw. I'm a man in my 30's and I'll never forget the look on that girl's face. The crazy in that guy's eyes. My gf (who later became my wife, now ex) remembers it vividly, too. That was one of the most f****d up nights of both of our lives.yourboyvlado reply
I don't know how many people I have told this but nobody believes me but honestly I understand why. When I was around 8 years old I was on vacation in Europe and I was at the zoo with my cousin and she got my some helium shark balloon. When we were getting into the car i let go of the balloon for some reason and watched it float away into the sky. Devastated I tried to forget all about it. About two weeks later I continued my vacation and went to my moms village about 700km away. The first day in my moms family home we go for a walk around the property and in the corner of the field I see it. My shark balloon floated into my very own backyard to find me again.steelear reply
Sometime in the early 2000s my wife and I went to an Eminem concert at the House of Blues on Sunset in LA (yes I know they are tearing it down and it sucks, I saw a lot of great shows there, including his royal purple badness). Anyway the entire show, maybe 90 minutes, there was a guy dancing on stage in a full mummy suit and he is doing really awkward and funny dances that you wouldn't expect from a background dancer at a rap concert but hey he's in a mummy suit so whatever. The show ends and Eminem screams into the mic "Do y'all wanna know who the m***a f****n mummy is?" and the crowd cheers and he screams "Dustin m***a f****n Hoffman!" He pulls a zipper in the back of the costume and out comes an extremely sweaty 60something year old Dustin Hoffman and the crowd goes into a stunned silence for a few seconds and then erupts in cheers. My wife and I just kinda looked at each other in disbelief and when I tell people they always say something like oh it must have just been someone found that looked like him but that guy was Dustin m***a f****n Hoffman and no I have no proof.Kirby420_ reply
I had just applied to a job at a gas station on a major interstate route in the US, and I was leaving the lobby of the rest area building. When I pushed the door open and walked out, I saw a seagull take flight from the top of a lamp post on the far side of the parking lot, which was shaped like a rectangle, with the building at one of the skinny ends. The only reason it caught my eye was because the parking lot was empty save 1 or 2 cars besides mine, and it was like my pushing the door open also pushed a button to trigger the bird to take off, the timing was perfect. So I'm walking down the sidewalk, and I'm watching this seagull fly in my general direction following the edge of the lot, when it gets to the corner and turns so it's going to fly *directly* over me. I think to myself "No way...." and sure as s**t, (heh. heh.) I see this seagull drop one in midair just before it gets to me. It's flying a good 20ish feet in the air, so I simply sidestep and watch as this giant blob of bird s**t liquid splats down on the ground, perfectly where I was. So this seagull saw me walk out the door, and instantly decided it was going to try s**t on me.anon reply
Before my sister was born, my parents found a kitten. They decided to keep it, because they could find no owner. Named her Princess. Anyway, my sister is 4 years older than I am. We both grew up with this cat. She'd sometimes follow us and watch over us. My parents used to make jokes about how she thought of us as her kittens. Now, my sister wasn't very nice to me. It took a lot of people a lot of time to realise she wasn't just nasty; it was full on abuse and bullying. My sister is a narcissist, but that's not what you need to know. When I was too young to understand what was happening, I used to talk to Princess. She was like my version of a diary; I'd sit with this creature that was older than I was and tell her all my problems. One day at a store, my mum told us she'd buy us each a lolly. My sister wanted a different one to me, and grabbed my arm and clawed her nails down it so hard it drew blood. Hurt a lot and I was really upset. When we got home I went and cried to Princess about how scared I'd felt. After a while I calmed down and went and played with my toys. Princess ambled out of the room. A few minutes later I heard a shriek and she ambled back in. Turns out she'd walked up and scratched my sisters hand, then hissed at her before coming back to sit with me, and watch over me playing with my toys. My parents assume that my sister provoked her, but I know. She walked out of the room right after I'd been talking to her, and walked in right after the shriek. I can't prove it, but I think Princess saw how scared I was and showed me that she'd protect me. I've never told anybody about my white and grey guardian apart from my currant cat. I haven't thought about Princess in a while. She lived to be between 19 and 21, depending on how old she was when my parents got her (she lived with them for 19 years; was around two when they found her). I loved that cat. Funnily enough, my new cat was originally my sisters. She got him, then left him with my parents, and he slowly became mine. He likes to sit with me more than he likes her.Show All 30 Upvotes
arlo :)) • submitted 2 new posts 2 years ago
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arlo :)) • upvoted an item 1 day ago
arlo :)) • upvoted 2 items 2 days ago
btechpc reply
Mom of my sons friend would always drop him off at our house to hang out and she would always comment how lovely our house was, which was a sense of pride for me as it was my dream home that I designed and built. Then one day he was going to their house to hang out so I drop him off. Driving down the road to their house and round the corner to what looks like a French ski chateau, just grand and enormous. Let’s just say most of my house could fit in the garage. She opens the door and my jaw hits the ground with the immense opulence and beautiful wood working. We exchanged pleasantries and of course I comment ‘this is a really really lovely place!’ She said thank you and off I went. Picked up the kid later in the day, says how nice the parents and siblings are. Made me realize that not all rich people are a******s, only the ones who act like they have money but really don’t. Was eye opening for me.whatintheactualfeth reply
Went to a new friends house for the first time when I was in the 6th(?) grade. We walked through the front door. Friend: Mom! We're home! Mom comes around a corner: Oh my god! It's so great to finally meet you! Friend talks about you a lot! (Gives me a hug) How are you!? Me: ^I'm ^fine. Mom: Are you hungry? I was about to make us a snack. Dad! Come meet Friend's friend! Dad comes around another corner: Hey kiddo! It's good to meet you. (Shakes my hand) If you guys are good, I'll take you guys to Fun Place later and we'll get some pizza. (Kisses Mom) I'll be in the garage. (Smacks Mom's butt) Mom: (giggles) You guys go play in your room. I'll bring you something to eat. I was stunned. They were nice to me AND each other! I mentioned it to my friend later, and he apologized because they "were so embarrassing". My parents weren't in a room together without at least insulting each other. I really hope Friend's parents are still married and insanely happy. Edit: Since this kinda blew up. They were really the nicest couple. They really loved each other and my friend, from what I saw. I hung out there for a bit, but I ended up moving (again) about a year later. We indeed went for pizza that night, and his mom made a really big breakfast the next morning. The blueberry cake thing she made still lingers in my dreams. They are the couple that I've most tried to emulate in my marriage of nearly 30 years. It really does help to have the right partner, but it is definitely worth the effort. arlo :)) • upvoted an item 3 days ago
arlo :)) • upvoted 6 items 2 weeks ago
Wonderful_Whereas402 reply
I was walking along 10th street in Brooklyn when a man walked by on his phone and all I caught of his conversation was "I don't know, I've never owned a f*****g giraffe before."PhysiologyIsPhun reply
Guy next to me at a urinal farted once and loudly says "sometimes when it rains it thunders". I stole it. arlo :)) • upvoted 10 items 1 month ago
FirmlyThatGuy reply
I’ve been secretly trying to make my daughter’s first word “momma” because I know it will make my wife unimaginably happy. She’s doing well with the coaching so I think I’ve got a shot!confusedhuskynoises reply
Sometimes I tighten jar lids and ask my husband to help me open them. Or I’ll push something just out of my reach if it’s on a high shelf then ask him to grab it for me. I love when he helps me, and I know he loves to do small things for me.CTnaturist reply
I pointed a gun at my stepmom's abusive boyfriend when he was sleeping and couldn't pull the trigger.Able-Badger-1713 reply
I have told a few people. But it’s limited. I am a CSA victim and my abuser made national news twice for the video she took of us boys, not the physical abuse. Police didn’t investigate properly, and when I went to make a report 30 years after the abuse the cop at reception was a hostile, rude aggressive man. I walked out actually crying. The cop quit his job 2 weeks into his investigation. But that cop literally broke me soul. I don’t feel strong enough to open up about my abuse and how hard it’s been being let down by police at every step. 🤷♂️ .Thecuriousgal94 reply
I had a “best friend” that would humiliate me in front of groups of friends. One night he decided to do it in front of the guy I had just started dating, sharing really embarrassing/personal stories and wouldn’t stop. Everyone was laughing. I went into the bathroom and scrubbed the toilet with his toothbrush. Have never told a soul about that.BarnacleMcBarndoor reply
Im in love with my best friend. I told her two years ago that I wanted to take her on actual date, and she told me she just wanted to be friends. After that’s It was a couple weeks of her not really talking to me and then unfortunately she had an accident. The accidentally resulted in problems partially impacting both long and short term memory. I didn’t ask if she remembered our conversation. And we more or less went back to the way things were, other than her telling me the same adorable stories over and over again, multiple times a week.unicornbirth reply
I’ve tried to off myself several times before, I have “ letters” hidden everywhere to my husband and my kids and my mom and siblings. I started Zoloft because of it, I had developed a panic disorder about three years ago and no one would take me seriously when i would try to talk about it, other than my husband, I started Zoloft for my anxiety, but in reality I started it so i would stay alive for my husband and my children, and it’s been 4 months in, and the past two weeks I’ve actually felt happy, like excited about living instead of the opposite. arlo :)) • is following a person