25 Unhinged Actions That Are Actually Great Examples Of Chaotic Good Behavior (New Pics)

If a stranger asked you if they could stay in your house for the night, you would likely flat-out shut them down. And for many people, it isn’t natural to do an act of kindness without expecting something in return. But why is that? 

One factor may be a fear of judgment, according to Jared Broussard, MA, LPC, individual therapist and owner of Thumos.Life Mindfulness & Psychology. 

As he explained to Bored Panda, we tend to ask questions like, “What if I mess up?” “Does this person really need my help?” “Am I doing this for the right reasons?”

According to licensed therapist and Grovemind Therapy founder Sabrina Grover, LCSW, the scarcity mindset may be a hindrance. It’s thinking that “If I help them, then I won’t have enough.” The same thing applies to trauma and burnout, where helping others may feel like an “emotional stretch.” 

“It’s not always about unwillingness. Sometimes it’s about capacity,” Grover said.

There’s also an evolutionary component at play here, according to licensed marriage and family therapist Jason Aaronson, who is also the clinical and executive director at Golden Road Recovery. As he explained, altruism is a social trait that helped humans survive as a species. 

However, Aaronson also mentioned that inherent biases and the need for social validation may hinder people from doing something entirely selfless for another person.

We live in an age where being taken advantage of is at an all-time high. Even the smartest people are vulnerable to scams. And according to clinical psychologist, podcaster, author, and Pranh Healing & Wellness PLLC founder Dr. Gitika Talwar, the fear of falling victim to a potential fraud is another factor. 

“Sometimes doing things out of the goodness of your heart can make people feel vulnerable to exploitation, and they might want to be careful about who they help and how,” she said.

It seems like there are way too many roadblocks that set us back from selflessly showing kindness. That then begs an important question: how can altruism be standardized in a society where political divisiveness, prejudice, and hatred are rampant? Broussard says it is up to us to take action, even in our own little way. 

“People (must) make their efforts each day in both big and small ways to exhibit those altruistic actions as best they can, with the awareness that they would need to do so in the presence of the type of uncomfortable thoughts and feelings,” he said.

Many people view life as a survival of the fittest, a dog-eat-dog world. And for kindness to spread like an epidemic, Aaronson says it happens once we learn to work together. 

“Undoubtedly, the ability to be altruistic exists within humanity,” he said. “(It) can be developed when strong empathic and cooperative values and a sense of shared humanity are fostered.”

But apart from people’s efforts, a systematic change is also necessary, according to licensed psychologist and Sunburst Psychology founder Dr. Yuxin Sun. As she stated, it’s about building a social system that can accommodate every person’s basic needs, instead of having a small percentage of people holding most of the resources and causing strife. 

“We can become more open and kind to people who are different from us, and be more naturally drawn to giving and gifting from a place of abundance.”

In terms of causing a systematic change, Grover advocates for building human connection, something she describes as “one of the most powerful tools” to foster kindness in the world. As she explained, sharing stories and listening with empathy can cause a significant shift. 

“Love becomes possible when we slow down, stay curious, and commit to learning about each other.”

I would like to believe that there is still so much good in this world. Dr. Talwar agrees, saying, “Love is an ongoing practice, like a seed you have to water and nourish.”

“There are ways for us all to build solidarity without erasing each other’s humanity,” she said. “At the heart of it, altruism can be a way of seeing each other’s humanity and reinforcing our own, too.”