Wedding planning is not for the faint-hearted. And although much of its burden goes directly to the newlyweds, a solid share of stress comes to the bridesmaid, aka a good or best friend or two, or ten, who have been there since the beginning of the romance.
But everything is more or less survivable unless the bride turns into a bridezilla. Watch out for the first signs—delusional and stubborn behavior, lack of patience, and sacrificing others for their personal gains. And who is better equipped to share what it’s like surviving a bridezilla wedding than the bridesmaids who’ve been to nuptial hell and back?
Let’s see what they had to say when one Redditor posed the inquiry “Bridesmaid of Reddit who was involved in a bridezilla wedding, what happened?” and it’s not gonna be pretty, let me tell you that.
I had an ectopic pregnancy in which the baby attached to my fallopian tube, which then burst, and I almost bled to death. Well, my friend got engaged shortly after that pregnancy, and when she asked me to be her bridesmaid, she said that I would be 'required' to wait to try and have another baby until after her wedding..."
"Not because there would be a small child at the wedding, and not even because she didn't want me to be 'fat' at her wedding. But because if I lost another child, it would take the attention away from her engagement and wedding! I was so shocked that I declined and haven't spoken to her since
The father of the bride had a heart attack, and as he was being carried out on the stretcher, the sobbing bride yelled, 'How could you ruin my wedding like this?!'
If you've ever attended a wedding or had one of your own, you know how much work, sleepless nights, and anticipation there is under that beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime facade. But it's no secret that some weddings turn sour for various reasons; sometimes things go against the plan, other times it’s plain luck deciding to turn its back on you, and occasionally, it’s the toxic environment which makes both the preparation and the big day into something you’d rather forget.
So in order to find out why wedding planning turns sour, what you should do if it does, and how to handle a bridezilla on the loose, Bored Panda reached out to Rhiann Janak Gouabeche, the CEO of Lucy Till French Wedding planners that cover some of the most beautiful places to say ‘I do’ out there, from Provence, the French Riviera, to the French Alps, and Lake Como.
I couldn't attend my friend's last-minute destination wedding because I had to travel to visit my dad — who was dying of cancer — to handle hospice arrangements. She was pissed, and tried to guilt-trip me because I couldn't afford both plane flights. That was the end of our friendship
My wife's best friend is a florist, and she gifted her services to her friend's wedding. Well, afterward, the bride and her mom got pissy at her because she didn't give them an additional gift. Let's conveniently forget the $1,000 in floral products she gifted to the wedding! It's a rift that has never been healed
Rhiann, who has planned over 50 weddings in the south of France, told us that if you’re feeling tremendous pressure when planning your wedding, you’re probably not alone.“Did you know that wedding planning is ranked one of the most stressful jobs in the world, just after soldiers and firefighters?” She continued: “While I've only ever put out one real fire at a wedding, I stomp out emotional fires all the time.”
First off, in order to make sure things go according to the plan and you don’t bury yourself under so much stress you can no longer enjoy the moment, Rhiann suggests hiring a professional wedding planner. “It is the number one thing you can do to keep your wedding and stress levels in check. Professionals spend on average 250 hours planning each wedding. Unless you have the time to do this, finding the time is stressful enough without adding all the doubt surrounding wedding etiquette.”
She wouldn't let our friend — who had breast cancer and was in chemotherapy — sit down after walking down the aisle
Planner here. Bride invites ex boyfriend to wedding because “he’s just a really good friend”. During reception her husband of 2 hours goes to the bathroom, she plants a kiss on him. Notices I saw and promptly reminds me to mind my business. At the end of the night, catering informed me they hadn’t settled their bill. If they didn’t get payment that night there would be an additional fee charged. I run outside and let them know before they drive off. Two days later I get a call from groom who informs me the bride is extremely upset with my “unprofessionalism” and wants a refund. She wasn’t happy that I “made a scene” by running outside to tell them about the bill, in an effort to save them from additional charges. I asked him if he was aware of the scene she made when she kissed ex BF on the dance floor while he went to the bathroom. He hung up.
Having said that, Rhiann believes that planning your wedding can truly be a wonderful experience where you learn about what you want to share with your guests about your couple. “Do you love food? Focus on that. Are you big into music? Hire a great band. Love yellow? Be original with your color palette. No matter what, don't lose sight of the fact that weddings are parties where 2 people have fallen so much in love that they just have to celebrate it with their friends and family!”
My best friend left me out of her bridal party because I was overweight and her mother thought that would limit bridesmaid dress choices and throw the wedding photos off
After the ceremony was over, the bride informed us that in order to save money, the wedding party wouldn't be served a meal along with the rest of the guests. She said, 'You already had the privilege of being in my wedding —what more can you ask for?
The professional wedding planner reminds everyone that “Love is at the core, and if you remember that and focus on what you love while letting a professional handle the nitty gritty, you won't ever become the dreaded B word!”
Speaking of the dreaded B word, there are just too many bridezilla stories surfing around not to ask Rhiann about it. “A bridezilla is someone who loses her cool when it comes to wedding planning, usually snapping at friends, family, and suppliers when these people are only trying to help,” she explained.
The final straw for me was when the bride demanded to see the toast I'd written...so she could edit it. She ended up rewriting it altogether, and I ended up skipping her wedding.
I lost some weight between the time I agreed to be a bridesmaid and the wedding. Well, the bride threw me out of the wedding party because she wanted to be the skinny one on the stage!
Moreover, a bridezilla should not be confused with a demanding bride since “it's a most important day, and it's entirely NORMAL to have particular and important desires.” Rhiann continued that “a bridezilla, though, is a DIFFICULT bride because of the way she expresses those desires and treats those involved in the wedding plans with hostility, belittlement, or lack of appreciation.”
The bride was blonde, and all the bridesmaids were brunette except me, so the bride asked me to dye my hair brown for the wedding because she wanted to be the only blonde.
My ex-best friend tried to make me and another bridesmaid walk down the uneven outdoor aisle WITHOUT OUR GLASSES, saying they would 'ruin the aesthetic' of her wedding! And she told us the morning of the wedding, so we didn't even have time to get get contacts! Her mom was able to calm her down by reassuring her that she was skinnier and more beautiful than both of us, so no one would be looking at us anyway.
The second after the bride comes the bridesmaid. “A bridesmaid is one of the most important roles you can be honored with in the life of a friendship,” Rhiann told us.
As a bridesmaid, “you should be excited, support the union, and let the bride know that! The Maid of Honor is the most important bridesmaid. It is her job to plan the bachelorette party and to make sure all the bridesmaids are getting the right clothes, shoes, earrings for each event so that the bride doesn't have to.”
I've had colorful hair for years now. It's quite the investment-- I go to a salon to get it done, and buy high quality products. When my best friend asked me to be her MOH, my hair was neon pink. Three weeks before her wedding, she requested that I color my hair to a natural color. I was SHOCKED. She offered to give me $100 to get it done (lol). I had justttt gotten my hair done (a plum/red color, quite tame in comparison to what I've done in the past)
If I had just randomly went from brown to lime green out of no where I might understand her frustrations, but at this point I hadn't seen my natural color in like 3 years!
I never changed my hair, we got into a screaming match at her bachelorette party and she drunkenly revealed that her mom hated my hair and would not stop bitching about it. We cried and hugged in the club bathroom and all was well.
Her mom didn't speak to me at the wedding and I'm okay with that.
My best friend just got kicked out of a wedding because she couldn't afford to spend the $1,500 to go to the bachelorette party. The bride told her to take out a credit card to pay for it!
All the bridesmaids have a lot of responsibilities coming at them on the big day. Rhiann says that “bridesmaids need to show up, be on time, and make the day and wedding events all about the bride.” Simultaneously, they shouldn’t forget that “It's not their time to shine, they are the supporting role to the leading lady, and should boost, never take away from the spotlight.”
It was 10 degrees Fahrenheit in February, and the bride insisted on outdoor photos WITHOUT COATS because 'we can't hide the dresses!' Even the photographer told her no, and she pitched a fit! Years later, she still complains about how her bridesmaids ruined her wedding
My dad had the audacity to die 6 weeks before the wedding, and she couldn't understand why that superseded her wedding details for me. I met my husband at her wedding, haven't spoken to her since.
Bored Panda also spoke to Roberta Torresan, a professional wedding planner and designer based in Rome, Italy who specializes in gorgeous luxury weddings. Roberta said that it’s no secret that “some brides-to-be tend to get very obsessed by the small details of their wedding, and sometimes they take it to the extreme. Perhaps it is because they really want to have everything under control but they cannot manage the planning process properly.”
When asked how to not turn your wedding into a stressful experience, Roberta said that it’s not easy since “no brides or grooms (99%) have ever planned a wedding before. So asking for help is ok, but sometimes this solution might be worse than the problem.”
Not a bridemaid, but a witness to one.
The bride got walked out on by her entire bridle party, except her maid of honor. Of course it was because no one loved her, and everyone wanted to ruin her day, not because she ripped a bridemaids dress from the neck down, in an open area, because it was too white ... it was the dress the bride insisted on all the maids wearing.
She had her bachelorette party the same weekend as my birthday, but we weren't allowed to do anything for my birthday on the trip, not even mention it. Well, on my actual birthday, some of my friends got some balloons and a little cake from the hotel. They tried to keep it a secret, but Bridezilla came into the room, saw everything, went completely silent, then walked out, pissed
The wedding planner continued: “You may want to hire a professional planner, but be careful, are you really willing to let a planner take care of your own wedding? Sometimes I prefer to be honest and suggest that a bride plan her wedding by herself,” Roberta told us.
When my friend was a bridesmaid, she received an astonishingly detailed itinerary of how to behave on the wedding day, with notes like "9:52am: Compliment the bride on how she looks on this, the most important day of her life". On the actual wedding day, the bride repeatedly got angry with my friend for not adhering to the itinerary. This was after several months of the bride expecting my friend to be available at a moment's notice to take care of any wedding chores. They haven't spoken since the wedding day.
Not a brides maid but one of the groomsmen. The groomsmen were forced to work through the entire post-wedding ceremony, cleaning up peoples shit and trying to make sure things go well. When we tried to hide and take a break, we got yelled at by the bride and her mother to keep working. Needless to say I no longer talk to them.
When it comes to being an excellent bridesmaid, Roberta said the responsibilities include not only standing with the bride all day long and helping her in various ways, but also giving a hand during “the planning process, especially when no planners have been hired.”
“My suggestion is to listen to the bride's requests and try to please her without questions. It's her wedding,” the luxury wedding planner concluded.
She kicked someone out of the wedding party who couldn't make it bridesmaid dress shopping because she was sick and had to go to the hospital
Friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her shotgun wedding that was to take place in a little over a month. She has us order semi-expensive dresses and they HAD to be altered to a certain length. Shoes had to be ordered. Toenails had to be painted neutral color and fingernails had to be French manicure. We weren’t allowed to paint our own nails-we HAD to get them done at a salon. Hair HAD to be done professionally by her hairstylist. And we were not, under any circumstance, to have bikini tan lines visible. Mind you, this was right after summer. I lived in an area where beach attire was usually the only attire and everyone had visible tan lines.
I eventually had to tell her that I could not afford to have everything done professionally with such short notice. I would be happy to do my hair and makeup. My hair was so short I couldn’t do an updo. She told me her mom could pay and then I could pay her back. That was the final straw.
I sent an email to her telling her I could no longer be in her wedding. She was pregnant, about to get hitched, and now I was adding to her list of problems. I valued the friendship and told her such, but just couldn’t do what she was asking.
I hadn’t heard from her for YEARS. Until one day she sent me a message, asking for me to buy from her MLM campaign. FFS.
I didn’t make it to the wedding. I was best friends with the woman, literally we did everything together. She assembled her wedding party and didn’t invite me. She threw me my bachelorette, witnessed my marriage, etc. I found out later I wasn’t invited because I was overweight and her mother thought that would limit bridesmaid dress choices and throw the wedding photos ‘off’. At least I know, dodged a bullet.
Not a bridesmaid, wife was a cousin to the bride. This happened a few months ago. Bachlorette party a few days before wedding, my wife didn't go but her sister and other family went. A couple male strippers there, lots of alcohol. Suddenly bridesmaids realize the bride is missing. They find her in her hotel with one of the strippers...who happens to be black. She freaks and tells everyone she was raped. Cops come. Stripper arrested. Wedding canceled. Everyone feeling sorry. Detective on the case doesn't believe her story and bride finally comes clean. Her mom and my wife's mom still believe she was legit raped by the stripper.
My best friend got married and she was actually very calm throughout the whole planning process and on the wedding day. However, the day after the wedding she texted me and sarcastically said “thanks for the wedding present”. I was planning to get her a present with my next paycheck. However, I was in such shock she texted me that. Especially after I spent ~$800 (dress, alterations, shoes, nails, makeup, hair, hotel room, etc.) to be in her wedding. It felt like all she cared about was gifts.
She reached out after the wedding to ask me how to return my gift for store credit
Picked $400 bridesmaid dresses. Destination bachelorette that cost over $1200. Insisted on a super expensive spot for the bridal shower. Registered at william Sonoma. I was a broke ass college student with limited funds. But managed to pay for all this crap and give a gift.
Bonus points: her husband forgot his entire [friggin] ux and didn't figure this out until a few hours before the ceremony.
A few minutes before the ceremony when she screamed at me for like the 500th time that day I snapped and told her either she cut her [mess] or I was getting in my car and going home.
She cut her [mess] . The rest of it went fine.
Bride insisted we (bridesmaids) make all the decorations but got pissed because they weren’t up to her high standard. All of this a month before the wedding because she procrastinated the whole thing. Wanted to plan the bridal shower herself cause she thought we were incompetent. During the bachelorette party we went to a decently fancy restaurant and bride was pissed because her little sister (bridesmaid who helped with nothing) “only ate simple foods so we should have just went to mcdonalds”. To this day she keeps saying how she wants to do the wedding over again because of how horrible everything went. There is so much more to this but I’m already border-line exposing myself (we are still currently friends) by saying all of this haha. It was not a good time and I myself don’t want to have a wedding after being a part in that disaster
I had to wear very high heels that didn't fit right, which was made even worse by the fact that I never ever wear heels. Her ceremony was well over an hour and the bridesmaids had to stand on the stage the entire time.
Taking those heels off after the ceremony was simultaneously one of the worst and greatest feelings ever. My feet wanted to murder her.
The bride — who was one of my best friends and very frugal — asked me and her other bridesmaid to HAND-MAKE all of her wedding decorations! I put in 15 hours a week hand-making decorations while also working and going to school full time!
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