No two people are the same, which is especially true when it comes to food. With different dietary restrictions or preferences, among other things, living with a partner might require adjusting to.
Redditor u/Spaghetticat37 told the AITA community about having to alter the vegan dishes their girlfriend makes. They said her food often keeps them hungry, which is why the redditor would add meat or eggs to their meals. Even though they would add none to hers, the girlfriend threw a fit about it.
Vegan dishes might not be equally filling to all
Image credits: olia danilevich (not the actual photo)
This person would add chicken or eggs to their girlfriend’s vegan dishes, which resulted in a huge fight
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Spaghetticat37
The number of people opting for a plant-based diet seems to be growing
Some data suggests that the number of people choosing the vegan diet has grown exponentially during the last decade. In Great Britain, for instance, the number of vegans has quadrupled in just five years starting in 2014. In 2019, as many as 600,000 people were following the vegan diet, comprising 1.16% of Great Britain’s entire population. When it comes to the US, according to The Vegetarian Resource Group’s 2022 data, roughly 3% of Americans are vegan.
The Vegetarian Resource Group also revealed that a fifth of US adults sometimes eat vegan meals; however, nearly 40% say they would never choose a vegan or a vegetarian option. The OP wasn’t a vegan themselves, but they didn’t mind eating plant-based meals as long as they provided enough sustenance to keep them full.
The vegan diet is plant-based, meaning people receive nutrients from vegetables and fruit, grains, nuts, and foods made from plants. They opt out of eating meat, as well as any items deriving from animal products, such as dairy, eggs, and honey, just to name a few. For some people, such a diet can lead to a nutrient deficiency if not followed properly, which is why it’s important to make sure to eat well-balanced vegan meals.
In order to lead a healthy vegan lifestyle, the National Health Service (NHS) recommends basing meals on starchy carbohydrates, such as potatoes, bread, rice, or pasta, and suggests choosing wholegrain if possible. It also encourages having some fortified dairy alternatives (soya milk, for instance), and eating at least five servings of various fruits and vegetables every day, as well as beans, pulses, and other proteins.
According to the NHS, it is also beneficial to include fortified foods or supplements containing certain nutrients, such as iron, calcium, vitamin D, vitamin B12, selenium, and iodine, into your diet.
Image credits: Alesia Kozik (not the actual photo)
There are numerous benefits to switching to a vegan diet
People opt for a vegan diet for numerous reasons, three of the main ones being animal welfare, environmental reasons, and health. Veggly revealed that according to a global survey of 8,500 people following a plant-based diet, roughly 90%, 64%, and 53% are motivated by these reasons respectively.
A report from the United Nations’ Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change pointed out that a shift to plant-based diets could significantly reduce greenhouse gas emissions, compared to current dietary patterns of people in most industrialized countries. Based on the report, such a shift could reduce food production-related greenhouse gasses by 70%, by 2050. It is also believed that shifting to a plant-based diet could reduce the mortality rate by 10% by the same year, as it minimizes the risk of cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes.
According to Healthline, there are different types of vegan diets one can follow. Some examples include the whole food vegan diet, based on a variety of whole plant foods; the raw food variation, based on raw plant-based foods cooked below 118°F (48°C); and the 80/10/10 diet—also known as low fat, raw food vegan diet or fruitarian diet—referring to limiting fat-rich plants such as nuts and avocados, opting for raw fruits and soft greens instead.
Depending on how often the OP opts for vegan or vegetarian meals, they could be considered flexitarian—a term that refers to a person who follows a primarily vegetarian diet, but eats meat or fish every once in a while. However, since they don’t consider themselves neither vegan, nor vegetarian, they didn’t see the problem with cooking some non-vegan sides to add to their girlfriend’s dishes. Neither did fellow redditors, the majority of whom thought the OP wasn’t being a jerk.
Image credits: Inti Tupac Liberman Ares (not the actual photo)
The redditor provided more details in the comments
Community members didn’t think the OP was being a jerk
I think the issue here is not whether you add meat to her meals but whether your values are compatible. I think you best be having a broader conversation about veganism, her expectations vs your intentions to become vegan and whether this arrangement is sustainable long term.
I agree, I think this has a lot more to do with her wants. She isn't considering him as a person with his own preferences but as someone that needs to be converted to her ideals.
Load More Replies...
Nah. She's vegan not him. She wants respect without giving it. He doesn't get mad when she doesn't eat meat on his cooking days... her being vegan isn't the problem, it's trying to force her choices on him that is the issue.
Exactly. He compensated by making a vegan version of his meals for her when he cooks - why can’t it go the other way too, with him eating her vegan meals with some added animal protein? Because they both have different diets? If he doesn’t force her to eat meat, she shouldnt insist on him being strictly vegan when he eats her cooking. Huge NTA times infinity plus one
Load More Replies...
Headline slightly misleading. NTA for sure, girlfriend is way too controlling. Escape now!
If you're not getting enough to eat, the person who loves you should not be upset with you making sure you get what you need.
THANK YOU! If his partner loves him like she claims, she would be horrified that he was waking up hungry and be trying to fix that ASAP.
Load More Replies...
This isn't a food issue. It's a control issue. She's trying to convert you to vegan, and she's ticked because you don't want to. You are not trying to force her to eat meat, so what's the issue here? Her control. I'd suggest you take a good long look at whether you can live with this for the rest of your life, because if you marry her, this might not be the only thing she wants control over.
Especially if children become part of the equation.
Load More Replies...
It's about consideration. HE'S making vegan meals for HER on his nights, but she's not doing the same for him. And then getting mad when he does it for himself. NTA. If he's not alway full, then he needs to eat. I don't usually feel full just off a smoothie. I have to eat more. Not everyone is the same
The fact is she wants him to be vegan 3 nights a week. I also believe she ultimately wants him to switch to being vegan. Him adding meat based items to simple things like soup and sald is not changing a culinary masterpiece.
Right! Can you imagine telling someone that they are messing up the flavors of their soup and salad just for adding more protein? And soup and salad 3 nights a week? That's lazy
Load More Replies...
There is a chance, as she's only been vegan three months, that she's struggling with her veganism and having her partner eat dairy,, eggs, etc is testing her resolve. She may be projecting her struggles on to her partner. Or she could just be passive aggressively hoping to convert him to veganism, either way, the issues are hers.
Your girlfriend's extremely rude. First of all, a salad is not a filling, complete meal for most people who eat normal meals. Second of all, her salads aren't filling enough for you. Therefore, you need to add meat or seafood. This should be the end of discussion on her part.
Upvote to cancel the downvote. Its nonsense to force your life choices on other. I've been vegetarian 26 years and would never force someone to eat vegetarian if the don't want to. This girl is overreacting because he is jist eating what she cooked without complaints just adds something extra he needs.
Load More Replies...
All y’all vegans need to shut up and quit trying to convert everyone to your side! If the man isn’t satisfied with her “carefully crafted “ dishes and needs to add protein, so be it! He’s not trying to get her to eat it, so tough s**t. Her reaction and attitude is a total control tactic. Remember we humans are omnivores and our digestive system is naturally geared towards eating a variety of foods. The fact that vegans and vegetarians have to add proteins in the form of tofu etc speaks to the fact that they need that to stay healthy.
I've been a vegetarian for decades and it's easy to make a filling and satisfying meal because of bread, eggs and cheese. I tried going vegan for about a month only due to what I thought was a newly developed allergy to eggs. The vegan version of these are terrible! It was too much between intense meal planning, feeling hungry and gas pains from too many beans. Even my vegetarian Indian dishes suffered by not finishing with a pour of cream or no paneer. I decided to become an omnivore since I couldn't eat eggs. I know exactly what OP is talking about. Soup and salad isn't a proper vegan meal. It's lunch. I was just cleared to eat eggs after 5 years and I still eat meat half the time. Lol.
I agree, soup and salad is more for light lunches, she's lazy and selfish and clearly doesn't love her partner if she's getting mad and "tolerating" him because he's concerned about his well being cause EVERYONE NEEDS FOOD!
Load More Replies...
Based on the description, those salads are not very "carefully crafted." I get wanting to just throw something together, but you can't do that if you arent cooking for just yourself. You have to consider your partners needs too. I make vegetarian food all the time even though I'm not anymore. my husband's only requirement is that it has something more filling like beans, eggs or mushrooms in it. She can definitely make a better salad at the very least. It might take 5 extra minutes to chop a few more hearty veggies to throw in, but mushrooms go well with almost everything savory and can be bought sliced. She can't be offended if she's going to make a side salad and call it dinner. Same with soups. Even when I try to slim the soup down, I always end up with this hearty pot big enough to feed a whole family despite being just my husband and me. Just dump in something filling like rice or lentils if it needs bulking up.
She's the *sshole.. Soup and salad three times a week is not enough to eat for a grown adult. People need a balanced meal with protein. Whether that protein is vegan or not doesn't matter. The fact remains that she simply isn't providing enough food. It's fine if she's just lazy, but she doesn't get to be mad about him adding more food when she doesn't provide enough. Slowly starving a loved one seems an odd move at best.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 this is not going to work out , dude. Dodge that bullet and date a country girl who can tear up a rack of ribs.
The cop out thing throws me off, like you aren’t supposed to eat meat at all on those nights but you never made that agreement
Seems like you need a new girlfriend, OP. Anyone who tries to impose their ideals upon you and refuses to see things from your perspective is irrational. If she's advocating a vegan lifestyle when she already knew you were a meat eater when you met, is not cool. You may as well go ahead and get you a steak and find someone who will allow you to enjoy it without snarky comments.
Vegans just don't mix with omnivores. Vegans are very pushy and sensitive. I have never had any problems with my vegetarian friends. Always vegans that cause problems
You shouldn't generalize all vegans that way
Load More Replies...
I don't care whether a person is a vegan, vegetarian, or omnivore. It all boils down to personal preference and should be respected by every party to a meal. You eat your tofu junk and I'll eat my steak.
It's unfortunate that you speak this way, because each person having their preference is fine, but you outted your own intolerance. Tofu is not junk. Someone could also say, "Whatever. Eat your disgusting meat, and I'll enjoy my tofu." It has the same aggressive, self-righteous, tone as your statement.
Load More Replies... 
See, I understand being a little upset over your partner adding sides to a meal you spent time and effort making. But a salad? I wouldn't exactly call it a high effort meal. How are you gonna be offended over a meal you LITERALLY just threw together in a big bowl? Even if you chopped it all by hand, into itty bitty pieces, it'd take you what? Five minutes max? It isn't exactly the "carefully crafted" meal she seems to think it is.
NTA. He is eating what she fixes he knows he needs extra protein to be full at the end of the meal. She needs to grow up and be less entitled if she wants this relationship to last. We have vegans, vegetarians, and meat eaters in our family. We bring our own meat dish and a vegetarian dish to the potlucks/meal. No mature person complains. We appreciate everyone's right to their diet choices. Sounds like OP is accommodating her choices without her participating in the cooking of his protein source. Dietary calories as well are different for men, women and children. She needs a nutrition class ASAP or plan on moving on. She needs to grow up.
Maybe she's bothered by the smell of the meat, but then she should just say so.
Or possibly she finds it annoyingly tempting to her veganism. That's on her.
Load More Replies...
Just let people eat what they want. Hopefully, they’ll be healthier choices most of the time. Still, it’s inappropriate to control someone else’s diet.
Everyone knows best what fills their bodily needs. Food is one of the most important things in our lives, and it should always fill us up without overfilling us, If your brain tells you it needs them at that very moment, go for it. Your girl is vegetarian, seems to try and push it onto you. 100% a talk is needed here and a middle ground needs to be found to make you and her happy. If you want to stick with meat/produce here and there, maybe try to show her that you go the extra mile to buy meat from animals that were allowed to see the sun, graze, not tied down or kept inside or in cages. Eggs from chickens that roamed free with no male chicken shreddering. I am not a vegetarian/vegan, BUT if we eat meat or eggs in this house we always made the that the life the animals had was as good as possible from the first to the last day: Having friends, feeling grass under their feet, the sun on their skin, having space to play and a quick painless end with no fearful long transports.
the fact he's only doing this with her less substantial meals, and not the ones with more proteins makes him definitely not the a hole. this isn't about him insisting he needs to have meat for it to be a proper meal. this is him not feeling like he's eaten enough. this doesn't mean he's not enjoying her food, just that he needs a bit extra to feel like it's enough.
What a big ginormous vegan snowflake. She sounds like a control freak. This is just the tip of the iceberg. She wants boyfriend to be vegan on her nights. She's insane and its only going to get worse. Better dump her now before it escalates.
If she's only been vegan 3 months her hormones could also be effecting her Maki g her more snappish. Females on vegan diets have to be very careful as to much soy can mess with your hormones. If she has to much soy in her diet to quickly it can cause aggressiveness, irritability, bloating, mess with your cycle. My friend is allergic to dairy and eggs. So she was on soy milk for most of her life. It caused a lot of issues when she hit her teen years. Guess what normalled out once she switched to oat and almond milk. I mention this because this could be where the girlfriends rude behavior is steming from and she doesn't realize it. There have been studies done on the effects of soy on the human body and an increase of estrogen is one of them. To much of this hormone can cause emotional issues. This doesn't excuse the gf from being a brat but it could give weight to why she's acting the way she is.
OMG! Id never heard of heard of a link between soy consumption and estrogen levels. I had to take low level estrogen birth control because my emotions went haywire. That totally explains why when I tried eating vegan for a month, I was a cranky witch. I also had zero energy. No wonder she's only making soup & salad vs an entree. Thanks for the info. I'm going to limit my soy intake to just fresh edamame. I'm going to continue being mostly vegetarian with a little meat on occasion. I don't think humans were built for a vegan diet nor do I think they were built to be big meat eaters either.
Load More Replies...
She is trying to convert him to veganism without admitting that is what she is up to, I think. And she is angry that her scheme isn't working. Poor fellow! She is sneaky & controlling.
This is clearly a man being bullied for eating what human dentition has evolved for. Disregard her gaslighting, throw her out, and find a normal girl without dietary defects.
She says she tolerated him adding meat to her cooking! To me that indicates that it's her way or the highway, I think she is going to start issuing ultimatums pushing him to a vegan lifestyle
I'm a vegetarian and I often find myself snacking after meals, because I don't find my meals fully satisfying, so I completely understand. Have you tried telling your girlfriend how you feel? Is she maybe feeling hurt by thinking that you don't enjoy the food that she's preparing for you, and that's why you are making changes to it? It could be something like when a chef prepares a meal, and someone adds salt to it, before even tasting it. It's considered a HUGE insult. If you have explained to her how you feel and this doesn't change, then no, you are NTA for eating what YOU like.
Wait salad and soup is considered a meal? For reference at my household a salad and soup are not a complete meal without proper protein and carbs
I think veganism is besides the point here. I don't like cheese, my partner likes it, I don't try to make him stop eating eat and he doesn't try to make me eat it. It's about respecting the other person likes and wants/needs. That's a basic thing for a good relationship and if you can't have it, it probably won't work out.
I used to have a roommate that didn't like most meats. He just isn't a fan of the taste and texture. So if I was cooking something like spaghetti that I knew he would like I'd make some chicken on the side to add to mine but not put it in the big bowl. Then I'd offer him some and he would be very appreciative. And if he in turn made tacos (one of the few ways he'd eat meat) he'd offer me some because I liked all the ingredients. Usually we cooked for ourselves but if we knew the other liked the food we'd share it as a kind gesture. I don't understand why people have to force their eating habits on others when there is no need to.
Super surprised no one told him to break up. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be like "leave him, he is toxic and manipulative".
Wrong sub you can't give advice on aita mods consider leave them they're toxic advice and delete your comment or even ban you
Load More Replies...
Hope she never adds seasoning to anything he cooks, or condiments, or decides to add a little salad or anything. To find out that she also is only vegan for four months, and use to use cheese, eggs and fish and allow him to add extra of those to a meal before but now is outraged... That seems completely wrong on her part. Also, if she'd be okay with him adding nuts or tofu then he's still "ruining" her carefully crafted meals, right?
For most men I have known, soup and a salad is simply not going to satisfy them. And, honestly, it wouldn't satisfy me either most of the time. People need protein and, TBH, getting sufficient protein to satisfy one's body is a challenge on a vegetarian/vegan diet. While it can be done, it isn't easy. I had a roommate who was a vegetarian, not a vegan, and it was not that easy to make full satisfying meals without the dense proteins so easily provided by eating meat. One thing I did find out from that time was that I don't like tofu AT ALL. Also, typically men require more food than women. I'm not sure why exactly but they do. To me, OP is NTA. He's doing his bit to support his gf's vegan diet; however, there doesn't seem to be any reciprocity. To me, that's the crux of the problem here. They need to sit down and have a talk about this without any accusations, recriminations, or passive-aggressive ploys. It would appear that this lady wants to push the OP into veganism.
I think this is an exaggeration. Obviously, if OP feels hungry, that is valid and he should do something about it without judgement. But it really isn't that hard, in general, to "get enough protein on a vegetarian diet". I have no idea how much protein exactly I'm getting but I work full-time in a very physically demanding warehouse job and have bigger biceps than most guys I know despite being vegetarian for three years now, and I'm not making a huge amount of effort in the cooking department. I do take a B12 supplement, but otherwise I'm sure I get everything I need because I feel healthy and fit.
Load More Replies...
She could be more considerate of your appetite an make you a fuller meal than a salad or rice. I wouldn't find it inconsiderate. And if you just say you won't do that anymore then just stop off for a small sandwich on the way home and eat that before her small meals. She sounds like she's dieting an kinda forcing you into her food routine. Men eat more than women most of the time and if you are burning calories more than her you need a bigger meal. Vegan or not. No need to feed her what she's avoiding. Either grab something before getting home or add items to the groceries an ask for them when she cooks for you.
Someone in the post made a comment about veganism being her identity? But he said in a response she's only been vegan a few months, she's trying to control him and manipulate him. She's "tolerated" him these past few weeks? Does she even love him? Cause I know if the person IM SUPPOSED TO LOVE said they weren't satisfied with the only vegan option and waking up famished, I'd do everything I could to make sure that didn't happen again. From this post, and I say it that way cause there THREE SIDES to EVERY story, his, hers, then the truth.... She's selfish and doesn't care enough about her partner and his needs/wants....
I really dislike how people act like it's 1:1. They're propably incompatible, but acting like eating meat is as morally positive as choosing vegan alternatives is silly. Imagine if there was a couple and one partner was into murdering people, the second not. See a murderer thinking their right to kill is as valid as the partner's will to never take a life. It's not equal.
Only some kinds of pasta do. It's perfectly possible to find vegan pasta made from just durum wheat and maybe a bit of salt (which is actually more authentic for most Italian dishes).
Load More Replies...
What about people being offended by not being the greatest cook in the eyes of their SO? A complaint I have heard or read quite a few times: my other half always adds ................. (salt/spice/hot sauce/sour cream, whatever) to the meals I prepare and it is INSULTING. No, it is not. It is called taste. Some people has their own, others have to borrow one. I guess GF has some snack late afternoon and the light dinner satisfies her.
Bro, seriously, what the f**k is wrong with you? What kind of a*****e doesn't allow others to force their lifestyle choices on them? She's already made it clear that in reality every night should be 'her' night and it's merely a matter of division of labor - just cuz you're doing the work doesn't mean you're supposed to have any say in the matter or that you're actually allowed to assert any individuality and get choices. She made it perfectly clear that in her opinion vegan food tastes better and here you are thinking you're allowed to have your own opinion and you don't have to make yourself to find meat undesirable and force your tastebuds to believe butternut squash tastes better than bacon. Try aversion therapy, leave the meat to rot before you eat it - the taste alone will go a long way to 'curing' you of your pesky nonconformity and after being violently sick a bunch of times you'll be grateful there's no meat in your food.
Preferences are different than blanket judgmental statements. You're free to say, "no," to a person's behavior. Stating that *all people* with a preference for a meal type are immoral (given you say they*are* red flags) is awfully ignorant, and ironic given that you think you have the high ground. You have incompatible values, but it doesn't mean the other person is *bad.* That's like saying a person is bad because you like quiet nights in and they like partying. Ridiculous.
Load More Replies...
Adding meat to something that only HE is going to consume (he adds meat to her cooking, not to her portion of the meal) is absolutely nothing like adding nuts or another allergen. Nothing at all. You're clutching at straws with that one. He's not lying either - she is absolutely aware he adds meat to HIS PORTION of her food. It's nothing about being a fat a*s either - she's female and needs approximately 4/5ths the calories he needs per day (2000 vs 2500). And yes, she IS controlling because she's trying to determine HIS diet. He is not trying to control hers. You've got a screw loose if you think he's in the wrong here. Or, perhaps, you're just another angry vegan?
Load More Replies... I think the issue here is not whether you add meat to her meals but whether your values are compatible. I think you best be having a broader conversation about veganism, her expectations vs your intentions to become vegan and whether this arrangement is sustainable long term.
I agree, I think this has a lot more to do with her wants. She isn't considering him as a person with his own preferences but as someone that needs to be converted to her ideals.
Load More Replies... Nah. She's vegan not him. She wants respect without giving it. He doesn't get mad when she doesn't eat meat on his cooking days... her being vegan isn't the problem, it's trying to force her choices on him that is the issue.
Exactly. He compensated by making a vegan version of his meals for her when he cooks - why can’t it go the other way too, with him eating her vegan meals with some added animal protein? Because they both have different diets? If he doesn’t force her to eat meat, she shouldnt insist on him being strictly vegan when he eats her cooking. Huge NTA times infinity plus one
Load More Replies... Headline slightly misleading. NTA for sure, girlfriend is way too controlling. Escape now!
If you're not getting enough to eat, the person who loves you should not be upset with you making sure you get what you need.
THANK YOU! If his partner loves him like she claims, she would be horrified that he was waking up hungry and be trying to fix that ASAP.
Load More Replies... This isn't a food issue. It's a control issue. She's trying to convert you to vegan, and she's ticked because you don't want to. You are not trying to force her to eat meat, so what's the issue here? Her control. I'd suggest you take a good long look at whether you can live with this for the rest of your life, because if you marry her, this might not be the only thing she wants control over.
Especially if children become part of the equation.
Load More Replies... It's about consideration. HE'S making vegan meals for HER on his nights, but she's not doing the same for him. And then getting mad when he does it for himself. NTA. If he's not alway full, then he needs to eat. I don't usually feel full just off a smoothie. I have to eat more. Not everyone is the same
The fact is she wants him to be vegan 3 nights a week. I also believe she ultimately wants him to switch to being vegan. Him adding meat based items to simple things like soup and sald is not changing a culinary masterpiece.
Right! Can you imagine telling someone that they are messing up the flavors of their soup and salad just for adding more protein? And soup and salad 3 nights a week? That's lazy
Load More Replies... There is a chance, as she's only been vegan three months, that she's struggling with her veganism and having her partner eat dairy,, eggs, etc is testing her resolve. She may be projecting her struggles on to her partner. Or she could just be passive aggressively hoping to convert him to veganism, either way, the issues are hers.
Your girlfriend's extremely rude. First of all, a salad is not a filling, complete meal for most people who eat normal meals. Second of all, her salads aren't filling enough for you. Therefore, you need to add meat or seafood. This should be the end of discussion on her part.
Upvote to cancel the downvote. Its nonsense to force your life choices on other. I've been vegetarian 26 years and would never force someone to eat vegetarian if the don't want to. This girl is overreacting because he is jist eating what she cooked without complaints just adds something extra he needs.
Load More Replies... All y’all vegans need to shut up and quit trying to convert everyone to your side! If the man isn’t satisfied with her “carefully crafted “ dishes and needs to add protein, so be it! He’s not trying to get her to eat it, so tough s**t. Her reaction and attitude is a total control tactic. Remember we humans are omnivores and our digestive system is naturally geared towards eating a variety of foods. The fact that vegans and vegetarians have to add proteins in the form of tofu etc speaks to the fact that they need that to stay healthy.
I've been a vegetarian for decades and it's easy to make a filling and satisfying meal because of bread, eggs and cheese. I tried going vegan for about a month only due to what I thought was a newly developed allergy to eggs. The vegan version of these are terrible! It was too much between intense meal planning, feeling hungry and gas pains from too many beans. Even my vegetarian Indian dishes suffered by not finishing with a pour of cream or no paneer. I decided to become an omnivore since I couldn't eat eggs. I know exactly what OP is talking about. Soup and salad isn't a proper vegan meal. It's lunch. I was just cleared to eat eggs after 5 years and I still eat meat half the time. Lol.
I agree, soup and salad is more for light lunches, she's lazy and selfish and clearly doesn't love her partner if she's getting mad and "tolerating" him because he's concerned about his well being cause EVERYONE NEEDS FOOD!
Load More Replies... Based on the description, those salads are not very "carefully crafted." I get wanting to just throw something together, but you can't do that if you arent cooking for just yourself. You have to consider your partners needs too. I make vegetarian food all the time even though I'm not anymore. my husband's only requirement is that it has something more filling like beans, eggs or mushrooms in it. She can definitely make a better salad at the very least. It might take 5 extra minutes to chop a few more hearty veggies to throw in, but mushrooms go well with almost everything savory and can be bought sliced. She can't be offended if she's going to make a side salad and call it dinner. Same with soups. Even when I try to slim the soup down, I always end up with this hearty pot big enough to feed a whole family despite being just my husband and me. Just dump in something filling like rice or lentils if it needs bulking up.
She's the *sshole.. Soup and salad three times a week is not enough to eat for a grown adult. People need a balanced meal with protein. Whether that protein is vegan or not doesn't matter. The fact remains that she simply isn't providing enough food. It's fine if she's just lazy, but she doesn't get to be mad about him adding more food when she doesn't provide enough. Slowly starving a loved one seems an odd move at best.
🚩🚩🚩🚩 this is not going to work out , dude. Dodge that bullet and date a country girl who can tear up a rack of ribs.
The cop out thing throws me off, like you aren’t supposed to eat meat at all on those nights but you never made that agreement
Seems like you need a new girlfriend, OP. Anyone who tries to impose their ideals upon you and refuses to see things from your perspective is irrational. If she's advocating a vegan lifestyle when she already knew you were a meat eater when you met, is not cool. You may as well go ahead and get you a steak and find someone who will allow you to enjoy it without snarky comments.
Vegans just don't mix with omnivores. Vegans are very pushy and sensitive. I have never had any problems with my vegetarian friends. Always vegans that cause problems
You shouldn't generalize all vegans that way
Load More Replies... I don't care whether a person is a vegan, vegetarian, or omnivore. It all boils down to personal preference and should be respected by every party to a meal. You eat your tofu junk and I'll eat my steak.
It's unfortunate that you speak this way, because each person having their preference is fine, but you outted your own intolerance. Tofu is not junk. Someone could also say, "Whatever. Eat your disgusting meat, and I'll enjoy my tofu." It has the same aggressive, self-righteous, tone as your statement.
Load More Replies... See, I understand being a little upset over your partner adding sides to a meal you spent time and effort making. But a salad? I wouldn't exactly call it a high effort meal. How are you gonna be offended over a meal you LITERALLY just threw together in a big bowl? Even if you chopped it all by hand, into itty bitty pieces, it'd take you what? Five minutes max? It isn't exactly the "carefully crafted" meal she seems to think it is.
NTA. He is eating what she fixes he knows he needs extra protein to be full at the end of the meal. She needs to grow up and be less entitled if she wants this relationship to last. We have vegans, vegetarians, and meat eaters in our family. We bring our own meat dish and a vegetarian dish to the potlucks/meal. No mature person complains. We appreciate everyone's right to their diet choices. Sounds like OP is accommodating her choices without her participating in the cooking of his protein source. Dietary calories as well are different for men, women and children. She needs a nutrition class ASAP or plan on moving on. She needs to grow up.
Maybe she's bothered by the smell of the meat, but then she should just say so.
Or possibly she finds it annoyingly tempting to her veganism. That's on her.
Load More Replies... Just let people eat what they want. Hopefully, they’ll be healthier choices most of the time. Still, it’s inappropriate to control someone else’s diet.
Everyone knows best what fills their bodily needs. Food is one of the most important things in our lives, and it should always fill us up without overfilling us, If your brain tells you it needs them at that very moment, go for it. Your girl is vegetarian, seems to try and push it onto you. 100% a talk is needed here and a middle ground needs to be found to make you and her happy. If you want to stick with meat/produce here and there, maybe try to show her that you go the extra mile to buy meat from animals that were allowed to see the sun, graze, not tied down or kept inside or in cages. Eggs from chickens that roamed free with no male chicken shreddering. I am not a vegetarian/vegan, BUT if we eat meat or eggs in this house we always made the that the life the animals had was as good as possible from the first to the last day: Having friends, feeling grass under their feet, the sun on their skin, having space to play and a quick painless end with no fearful long transports.
the fact he's only doing this with her less substantial meals, and not the ones with more proteins makes him definitely not the a hole. this isn't about him insisting he needs to have meat for it to be a proper meal. this is him not feeling like he's eaten enough. this doesn't mean he's not enjoying her food, just that he needs a bit extra to feel like it's enough.
What a big ginormous vegan snowflake. She sounds like a control freak. This is just the tip of the iceberg. She wants boyfriend to be vegan on her nights. She's insane and its only going to get worse. Better dump her now before it escalates.
If she's only been vegan 3 months her hormones could also be effecting her Maki g her more snappish. Females on vegan diets have to be very careful as to much soy can mess with your hormones. If she has to much soy in her diet to quickly it can cause aggressiveness, irritability, bloating, mess with your cycle. My friend is allergic to dairy and eggs. So she was on soy milk for most of her life. It caused a lot of issues when she hit her teen years. Guess what normalled out once she switched to oat and almond milk. I mention this because this could be where the girlfriends rude behavior is steming from and she doesn't realize it. There have been studies done on the effects of soy on the human body and an increase of estrogen is one of them. To much of this hormone can cause emotional issues. This doesn't excuse the gf from being a brat but it could give weight to why she's acting the way she is.
OMG! Id never heard of heard of a link between soy consumption and estrogen levels. I had to take low level estrogen birth control because my emotions went haywire. That totally explains why when I tried eating vegan for a month, I was a cranky witch. I also had zero energy. No wonder she's only making soup & salad vs an entree. Thanks for the info. I'm going to limit my soy intake to just fresh edamame. I'm going to continue being mostly vegetarian with a little meat on occasion. I don't think humans were built for a vegan diet nor do I think they were built to be big meat eaters either.
Load More Replies... She is trying to convert him to veganism without admitting that is what she is up to, I think. And she is angry that her scheme isn't working. Poor fellow! She is sneaky & controlling.
This is clearly a man being bullied for eating what human dentition has evolved for. Disregard her gaslighting, throw her out, and find a normal girl without dietary defects.
She says she tolerated him adding meat to her cooking! To me that indicates that it's her way or the highway, I think she is going to start issuing ultimatums pushing him to a vegan lifestyle
I'm a vegetarian and I often find myself snacking after meals, because I don't find my meals fully satisfying, so I completely understand. Have you tried telling your girlfriend how you feel? Is she maybe feeling hurt by thinking that you don't enjoy the food that she's preparing for you, and that's why you are making changes to it? It could be something like when a chef prepares a meal, and someone adds salt to it, before even tasting it. It's considered a HUGE insult. If you have explained to her how you feel and this doesn't change, then no, you are NTA for eating what YOU like.
Wait salad and soup is considered a meal? For reference at my household a salad and soup are not a complete meal without proper protein and carbs
I think veganism is besides the point here. I don't like cheese, my partner likes it, I don't try to make him stop eating eat and he doesn't try to make me eat it. It's about respecting the other person likes and wants/needs. That's a basic thing for a good relationship and if you can't have it, it probably won't work out.
I used to have a roommate that didn't like most meats. He just isn't a fan of the taste and texture. So if I was cooking something like spaghetti that I knew he would like I'd make some chicken on the side to add to mine but not put it in the big bowl. Then I'd offer him some and he would be very appreciative. And if he in turn made tacos (one of the few ways he'd eat meat) he'd offer me some because I liked all the ingredients. Usually we cooked for ourselves but if we knew the other liked the food we'd share it as a kind gesture. I don't understand why people have to force their eating habits on others when there is no need to.
Super surprised no one told him to break up. If the genders were reversed, everyone would be like "leave him, he is toxic and manipulative".
Wrong sub you can't give advice on aita mods consider leave them they're toxic advice and delete your comment or even ban you
Load More Replies... Hope she never adds seasoning to anything he cooks, or condiments, or decides to add a little salad or anything. To find out that she also is only vegan for four months, and use to use cheese, eggs and fish and allow him to add extra of those to a meal before but now is outraged... That seems completely wrong on her part. Also, if she'd be okay with him adding nuts or tofu then he's still "ruining" her carefully crafted meals, right?
For most men I have known, soup and a salad is simply not going to satisfy them. And, honestly, it wouldn't satisfy me either most of the time. People need protein and, TBH, getting sufficient protein to satisfy one's body is a challenge on a vegetarian/vegan diet. While it can be done, it isn't easy. I had a roommate who was a vegetarian, not a vegan, and it was not that easy to make full satisfying meals without the dense proteins so easily provided by eating meat. One thing I did find out from that time was that I don't like tofu AT ALL. Also, typically men require more food than women. I'm not sure why exactly but they do. To me, OP is NTA. He's doing his bit to support his gf's vegan diet; however, there doesn't seem to be any reciprocity. To me, that's the crux of the problem here. They need to sit down and have a talk about this without any accusations, recriminations, or passive-aggressive ploys. It would appear that this lady wants to push the OP into veganism.
I think this is an exaggeration. Obviously, if OP feels hungry, that is valid and he should do something about it without judgement. But it really isn't that hard, in general, to "get enough protein on a vegetarian diet". I have no idea how much protein exactly I'm getting but I work full-time in a very physically demanding warehouse job and have bigger biceps than most guys I know despite being vegetarian for three years now, and I'm not making a huge amount of effort in the cooking department. I do take a B12 supplement, but otherwise I'm sure I get everything I need because I feel healthy and fit.
Load More Replies... She could be more considerate of your appetite an make you a fuller meal than a salad or rice. I wouldn't find it inconsiderate. And if you just say you won't do that anymore then just stop off for a small sandwich on the way home and eat that before her small meals. She sounds like she's dieting an kinda forcing you into her food routine. Men eat more than women most of the time and if you are burning calories more than her you need a bigger meal. Vegan or not. No need to feed her what she's avoiding. Either grab something before getting home or add items to the groceries an ask for them when she cooks for you.
Someone in the post made a comment about veganism being her identity? But he said in a response she's only been vegan a few months, she's trying to control him and manipulate him. She's "tolerated" him these past few weeks? Does she even love him? Cause I know if the person IM SUPPOSED TO LOVE said they weren't satisfied with the only vegan option and waking up famished, I'd do everything I could to make sure that didn't happen again. From this post, and I say it that way cause there THREE SIDES to EVERY story, his, hers, then the truth.... She's selfish and doesn't care enough about her partner and his needs/wants....
I really dislike how people act like it's 1:1. They're propably incompatible, but acting like eating meat is as morally positive as choosing vegan alternatives is silly. Imagine if there was a couple and one partner was into murdering people, the second not. See a murderer thinking their right to kill is as valid as the partner's will to never take a life. It's not equal.
Only some kinds of pasta do. It's perfectly possible to find vegan pasta made from just durum wheat and maybe a bit of salt (which is actually more authentic for most Italian dishes).
Load More Replies... What about people being offended by not being the greatest cook in the eyes of their SO? A complaint I have heard or read quite a few times: my other half always adds ................. (salt/spice/hot sauce/sour cream, whatever) to the meals I prepare and it is INSULTING. No, it is not. It is called taste. Some people has their own, others have to borrow one. I guess GF has some snack late afternoon and the light dinner satisfies her.
Bro, seriously, what the f**k is wrong with you? What kind of a*****e doesn't allow others to force their lifestyle choices on them? She's already made it clear that in reality every night should be 'her' night and it's merely a matter of division of labor - just cuz you're doing the work doesn't mean you're supposed to have any say in the matter or that you're actually allowed to assert any individuality and get choices. She made it perfectly clear that in her opinion vegan food tastes better and here you are thinking you're allowed to have your own opinion and you don't have to make yourself to find meat undesirable and force your tastebuds to believe butternut squash tastes better than bacon. Try aversion therapy, leave the meat to rot before you eat it - the taste alone will go a long way to 'curing' you of your pesky nonconformity and after being violently sick a bunch of times you'll be grateful there's no meat in your food.
Preferences are different than blanket judgmental statements. You're free to say, "no," to a person's behavior. Stating that *all people* with a preference for a meal type are immoral (given you say they*are* red flags) is awfully ignorant, and ironic given that you think you have the high ground. You have incompatible values, but it doesn't mean the other person is *bad.* That's like saying a person is bad because you like quiet nights in and they like partying. Ridiculous.
Load More Replies... Adding meat to something that only HE is going to consume (he adds meat to her cooking, not to her portion of the meal) is absolutely nothing like adding nuts or another allergen. Nothing at all. You're clutching at straws with that one. He's not lying either - she is absolutely aware he adds meat to HIS PORTION of her food. It's nothing about being a fat a*s either - she's female and needs approximately 4/5ths the calories he needs per day (2000 vs 2500). And yes, she IS controlling because she's trying to determine HIS diet. He is not trying to control hers. You've got a screw loose if you think he's in the wrong here. Or, perhaps, you're just another angry vegan?
Load More Replies...
39
119