Getting fired is always a horrible and awkward experience; there are few feelings worse in life than being rejected by people who found that you simply weren’t good enough. And unless the person giving the bad news is particularly sadistic it can be very difficult for them too; what kind of person enjoys looking someone in the eye and telling them that they are now unemployed?
But business is business, and there is little place for sentimentality in this dog-eat-dog world. So the boss needs to do the right thing – take the doomed employee to one side and respectfully and professionally tell it as it is.
Image credits: Robin Hastings (not the actual photo)
Some bad bosses can’t hack it, though. They might feel guilty for treating the employee unfairly, or maybe they had developed such a good relationship that this might feel like a horrible way to end it. Or perhaps they are just spineless cowards who don’t like to experience the consequences of their unethical behavior.
So when this anonymous employee took to Quora looking for advice on how to deal with a boss who fired them via business email, they found sympathy with the occasional hilarious and often savage response.
Some people, on the other hand, thought that the method of communication is irrelevant; it is only the message that counts.
The conversation divided people, with some expressing the desire for revenge in best responses possible while others urged for restraint and to remain the ‘bigger person.’
So how do you get someone laid off respectfully and ethically? Mike Kappel from Forbes has some tips on how to do it the right way.
“When you meet with an employee to tell them they are being fired, you need to tell them as soon as the meeting starts,” Mike writes. “If you were getting fired, you wouldn’t want to talk about the weather or last night’s football game before hearing the news. Answer any questions relating to the employee’s last paycheck, collecting unemployment benefits, and health insurance.”
As well as being clear and honest with the employee, it is important to do it discretely as not to humiliate the employee. Employment termination isn’t just bad for that individual— it’s also bad for the other employees.
“Other employees don’t know if or when they’re going to be on the chopping block. And, your employees could have relationships with the fired employee,” he continues. “If you fire an employee in front of everyone, you risk draining the morale out of the other employees.”
“Consider firing the employee after your other employees leave. That way, the terminated employee does not need to leave your office (or wherever you fire them) in front of their co-workers.”
Finally, you want to be completely sure that your actions in terminating the employee’s contract are fully legal. “Did you have your employee sign a contract when you hired them?” Mike asks. “If not, they are employed at-will, meaning you can terminate their employment at any time. Don’t fire an employee as an act of discrimination. And, you can’t fire an employee for taking medical leave. You might want to consult a lawyer before you fire an employee.”
“If your employee has a contract with your business, you cannot fire them for reasons not listed in the contract. The contract should state reasons you can end a worker’s employment at your business. If they don’t violate the listed reasons, don’t break the contract.”
All pretty common sense stuff really isn’t it? But we all know plenty of bosses that are lacking in that! Don’t make it any harder for yourself than it already is!
People jumped in with their own experiences of getting fired remotely
This is hilarious and sad at the same time, but this happened to me today as well !!!! :(( I have just received an email and that was it, I am officially jobless. Reading this post actually helped me a lot. I can not say this often, but this time, I really know how it feels !!!!
I am sorry to hear that. I most sincerely hope that you will find a new job as soon as possible, and that it will suit you more in all aspect (more rewarding, more suited for you,better working conditions, better paid and with great working environment). Hang in there ❤
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I personally believe the reason this is such a popular post is because how disappointingly this email reflects humanity. It's easy to move on and get a new job. It's hard to think about how this seems to reflect the future becoming less feely than it already is. Why is it so hard for humans to be friendly and open with each other :( I don't want to move on from accepting this new version of reality. I wanna go back to a time when we had the courtesy to tell hard things like this to each other's faces rather than hide behind a "professional" screen!
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If a company has a legitimate reason to fire someone, the better way to do it is face to face—-without being so blunt that you’re cruel about it. That way, if the employee wants details as to why they’re being fired, the boss (who should be prepared for this) can let them know, but again, in a kind manner, possibly with some low key advice for the future about what led to their firing. Being fired, unless the employee can sense it’s about to happen and make other plans (I’ve experienced a lay-off that I saw coming, and already had another job lined up when the ax fell—-5 minutes before I was going to hand in my notice, so I quite happily took the lay-off, costing the company 6 weeks severance pay instead of two final weeks’ work, and started the new job two weeks later), can be an extremely fraught situation, and it’s up to the boss to soften the blow as much as possible. However, there are too many a******s in management positions, who either insult employees they’re firing or do it remotely, like the spineless coward of a boss in the article.
I agree, Kathy. I'm sure this person had an idea that there was a problem but it's important to for the boss to communicate what was the last straw. It could even prevent a lawsuit.
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Take it like an adult, and move on professionally. There is nothing to gain from being an a*s in this situation. There may be good reasons why email was the best approach. Don't burn bridges as you never know what opportunities may be ahead
But there is stuff to lose from accepting this is a new reality for humans. Humans are so distant from each other, and it's such a major leading component to mental illnesses like depression and anxiety... this sucks honestly :( Why is it so hard to talk to people?
Load More Replies... I’ve been fired over text before. I was an au pair and that very morning I’d dropped off the house keys at my bosses house, she sent her child to come get them from me and I know she was at home because she answered the doorbell. A few hours later she fired me over message. I was literally at her house and she didn’t have the balls to come out and say it to my face.
My dad always says to me: Do not ever lower youself to the level of that person. They will tackle you down with experience. In other words: be above that and don't get pulled into shallow conversations that afterwards might be used against you in the future.
Oh dear. At my old job, the CEO terminated a guy who just could never get going...and he showed up for work the next day as if nothing happened. We were concerned that he might pose a threat, but nope...guess he was just hopeful.
I can relate to this. I worked for a nonprofit organization for 3 1/2 years. I won their highest award for advocacy, etc. Shortly afterwards, I fell ill with a rare form of pneumonia and had to be out on sick leave for more than the 16-week Family and Medical Leave Act period (U.S.A.). I was promptly terminated via a FORM LETTER. The organization perceived my continuing illness as a great opportunity for them to save money, because shortly before I got sick, I had negotiated a well-deserved, significant pay raise. Though many good people work for organizations, the organizations themselves are amoral, and see the employees as budget items, not as human beings.
I said to my supervisor I was thinking about leaving the job and all she said was call the agency if you want to leave. I turn up for my shift the next night and she's like what are you doing here?! So I said I decided to stay until I got another job and she said oh I've already told the "big" manager you've left. I was like excuse me?!
I don't agree with firing someone by e-mail. If you have justification for firing them, then there should not be any guilt attached to letting them go in person. The only reason I can see for such an act is if the manager or boss feels their safety would be in jeopardy when delivering the bad news. That being said, I would also like bosses to remember, if you are going to fire an employee, do it away from customers and other employees. It is unprofessional to fire an employee in front of people that have nothing to do with the termination. I witnessed a manager of a restaurant firing a waitress in the dining room with all the customers watching...she started bawling..he was smiling. I reported him to the owners and the corporate office. Surprisingly..he also found himself looking for work afterwards.
In a similar manner, when I was job hunting, the day I came for interview, I witnessed the boss openly scolding an employee and she was being pretty mean. Unwise move. My decision was made even before the interview started. Of course I didn't accept to work there.
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Texting and email are not proper ways to terminate someone. Phone calls? Barely. Texts/emails are simply not as technologically reliable as phone calls... even using the same device. I've lost track of the number of texts/emails and/or replies that I sent (or were sent to me) in a timely manner, but received late or not at all. Total reliance on them in the business realm is foolhardy.
I had to fire an employee via email, voicemail, and text message (all methods for the same guy) because he was a no call/no show three days in a row and wouldn't answer his phone. I didn't know what else to do.
I wouldn't ever fire someone by e-mail, i hate doing it but will always do it face to face with a reasonable explanation (if they deserve one), it sucks.
The sales force was at an out-of-town conference when the head of that department fired 3/4 of them. I don't know how the first person was notified but the rest of them heard about it word of mouth and had to call in to find out if it was true. His poor secretary had to tell them.
I dont care about being notified by email, it may be smart and create a trail albeit it is far less personal and subject to being doubted. But, for those comments stating that they just dropped off the schedule, that is messed up. You should be (and in most cases ARE) legally entitled to be notified that you no longer have a job...as you may have financial commitments that their failure to notify you could cause to be delayed further than necessary.
Email is not instantaneous, either in deliver or in the recipient's use of it. If this was off-hours imagine if he actually had not seen the email, then showed up for work the next day? I certainly don't read work emails when I'm not at work (no one should unless they are on call). Even if he were at work, an efficient employee does not check their emails more than 2-3 times a day. Someone said that there are many forms of communication now, and we should accept this. There have been multiple forms of communication for 1000s of years (written messages, messenger person). There is no excuse for not doing this over video call.
If you are living in a civilised world, to be fired, it happen only by write letter, and at least few day before your last one.
Ignore the email and tell others about your experience on Glassdoor. HR departments take negative comments seriously and will look into it. Also, it's embarrassing for the company.
Many years ago at a very large insurance company my husband worked for, a whole department team was laid off. The way they found out? They got to work on the Monday and couldn’t log onto their computers. At the same company, one of the secretaries was asked to organise a farewell lunch for a staff member who had been let go. She did what she was asked but it turned out it was to be her farewell! This happen to many staff members right across the company. The reason for such wide spread sackings was as a costing cutting exercise. The result was a massive pay rise for the CEO.
Happened to me to, I lived very close to the job (about 15 min), went to work that day, everything normal, checked my emails when I got home and there it was, the boss must have sent it the minute I've left. S**t job, but still... being told you're not good enough it's not nice! It gets much better, unbeknownst to them, the person hired as my replacement is actually a friend of a very close friend of mine, and the boss did exactly the same thing to him, fired over email, practically a copy/paste of the email I've got! Conclusion, ex-boss is an a*****e to everyone!
Still many opportunity ahead. Don't waste your time and energy where you not appreciated and not loved. Just move on already.
Pretend you didn't see the email. Send your boss an email that you are quitting etc.....
So is my office the only place if you see someone who didn't lock their computer, you send an email from them their boss that says "I quit", etc.
To me Fired means the person has committed some gross misconduct, had previous warnings, breached contract or something along those lines.
My boss once fired me without telling me. He told my colleagues, and they were surprised I pitched up at work, then I had to go and ask him if I was fired. PS, I wasn't a very good waiter, so don't blame him for the firing part, just the bit where he didn't actually tell me.
The author of the question literally refers to the boss as a "he". No assumptions, just reading.
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Is it just me? Are there way way way way more comments up when you get on BP. I usually wake up 6:00 a.m East Coast US. And there are almost 0 comment (except 1 or 2 people who beat me to the punch) today I got on and......76, 48, 52,104 ex.... what's the deal? Anyone else notice this?
Nvm I think I was looking at post from Friday, bc a few new post just dropped with 0 comments
Load More Replies...
This is hilarious and sad at the same time, but this happened to me today as well !!!! :(( I have just received an email and that was it, I am officially jobless. Reading this post actually helped me a lot. I can not say this often, but this time, I really know how it feels !!!!
I am sorry to hear that. I most sincerely hope that you will find a new job as soon as possible, and that it will suit you more in all aspect (more rewarding, more suited for you,better working conditions, better paid and with great working environment). Hang in there ❤
Load More Replies... I personally believe the reason this is such a popular post is because how disappointingly this email reflects humanity. It's easy to move on and get a new job. It's hard to think about how this seems to reflect the future becoming less feely than it already is. Why is it so hard for humans to be friendly and open with each other :( I don't want to move on from accepting this new version of reality. I wanna go back to a time when we had the courtesy to tell hard things like this to each other's faces rather than hide behind a "professional" screen!
Load More Replies... If a company has a legitimate reason to fire someone, the better way to do it is face to face—-without being so blunt that you’re cruel about it. That way, if the employee wants details as to why they’re being fired, the boss (who should be prepared for this) can let them know, but again, in a kind manner, possibly with some low key advice for the future about what led to their firing. Being fired, unless the employee can sense it’s about to happen and make other plans (I’ve experienced a lay-off that I saw coming, and already had another job lined up when the ax fell—-5 minutes before I was going to hand in my notice, so I quite happily took the lay-off, costing the company 6 weeks severance pay instead of two final weeks’ work, and started the new job two weeks later), can be an extremely fraught situation, and it’s up to the boss to soften the blow as much as possible. However, there are too many a******s in management positions, who either insult employees they’re firing or do it remotely, like the spineless coward of a boss in the article.
I agree, Kathy. I'm sure this person had an idea that there was a problem but it's important to for the boss to communicate what was the last straw. It could even prevent a lawsuit.
Load More Replies... Take it like an adult, and move on professionally. There is nothing to gain from being an a*s in this situation. There may be good reasons why email was the best approach. Don't burn bridges as you never know what opportunities may be ahead
But there is stuff to lose from accepting this is a new reality for humans. Humans are so distant from each other, and it's such a major leading component to mental illnesses like depression and anxiety... this sucks honestly :( Why is it so hard to talk to people?
Load More Replies... I’ve been fired over text before. I was an au pair and that very morning I’d dropped off the house keys at my bosses house, she sent her child to come get them from me and I know she was at home because she answered the doorbell. A few hours later she fired me over message. I was literally at her house and she didn’t have the balls to come out and say it to my face.
My dad always says to me: Do not ever lower youself to the level of that person. They will tackle you down with experience. In other words: be above that and don't get pulled into shallow conversations that afterwards might be used against you in the future.
Oh dear. At my old job, the CEO terminated a guy who just could never get going...and he showed up for work the next day as if nothing happened. We were concerned that he might pose a threat, but nope...guess he was just hopeful.
I can relate to this. I worked for a nonprofit organization for 3 1/2 years. I won their highest award for advocacy, etc. Shortly afterwards, I fell ill with a rare form of pneumonia and had to be out on sick leave for more than the 16-week Family and Medical Leave Act period (U.S.A.). I was promptly terminated via a FORM LETTER. The organization perceived my continuing illness as a great opportunity for them to save money, because shortly before I got sick, I had negotiated a well-deserved, significant pay raise. Though many good people work for organizations, the organizations themselves are amoral, and see the employees as budget items, not as human beings.
I said to my supervisor I was thinking about leaving the job and all she said was call the agency if you want to leave. I turn up for my shift the next night and she's like what are you doing here?! So I said I decided to stay until I got another job and she said oh I've already told the "big" manager you've left. I was like excuse me?!
I don't agree with firing someone by e-mail. If you have justification for firing them, then there should not be any guilt attached to letting them go in person. The only reason I can see for such an act is if the manager or boss feels their safety would be in jeopardy when delivering the bad news. That being said, I would also like bosses to remember, if you are going to fire an employee, do it away from customers and other employees. It is unprofessional to fire an employee in front of people that have nothing to do with the termination. I witnessed a manager of a restaurant firing a waitress in the dining room with all the customers watching...she started bawling..he was smiling. I reported him to the owners and the corporate office. Surprisingly..he also found himself looking for work afterwards.
In a similar manner, when I was job hunting, the day I came for interview, I witnessed the boss openly scolding an employee and she was being pretty mean. Unwise move. My decision was made even before the interview started. Of course I didn't accept to work there.
Load More Replies... Texting and email are not proper ways to terminate someone. Phone calls? Barely. Texts/emails are simply not as technologically reliable as phone calls... even using the same device. I've lost track of the number of texts/emails and/or replies that I sent (or were sent to me) in a timely manner, but received late or not at all. Total reliance on them in the business realm is foolhardy.
I had to fire an employee via email, voicemail, and text message (all methods for the same guy) because he was a no call/no show three days in a row and wouldn't answer his phone. I didn't know what else to do.
I wouldn't ever fire someone by e-mail, i hate doing it but will always do it face to face with a reasonable explanation (if they deserve one), it sucks.
The sales force was at an out-of-town conference when the head of that department fired 3/4 of them. I don't know how the first person was notified but the rest of them heard about it word of mouth and had to call in to find out if it was true. His poor secretary had to tell them.
I dont care about being notified by email, it may be smart and create a trail albeit it is far less personal and subject to being doubted. But, for those comments stating that they just dropped off the schedule, that is messed up. You should be (and in most cases ARE) legally entitled to be notified that you no longer have a job...as you may have financial commitments that their failure to notify you could cause to be delayed further than necessary.
Email is not instantaneous, either in deliver or in the recipient's use of it. If this was off-hours imagine if he actually had not seen the email, then showed up for work the next day? I certainly don't read work emails when I'm not at work (no one should unless they are on call). Even if he were at work, an efficient employee does not check their emails more than 2-3 times a day. Someone said that there are many forms of communication now, and we should accept this. There have been multiple forms of communication for 1000s of years (written messages, messenger person). There is no excuse for not doing this over video call.
If you are living in a civilised world, to be fired, it happen only by write letter, and at least few day before your last one.
Ignore the email and tell others about your experience on Glassdoor. HR departments take negative comments seriously and will look into it. Also, it's embarrassing for the company.
Many years ago at a very large insurance company my husband worked for, a whole department team was laid off. The way they found out? They got to work on the Monday and couldn’t log onto their computers. At the same company, one of the secretaries was asked to organise a farewell lunch for a staff member who had been let go. She did what she was asked but it turned out it was to be her farewell! This happen to many staff members right across the company. The reason for such wide spread sackings was as a costing cutting exercise. The result was a massive pay rise for the CEO.
Happened to me to, I lived very close to the job (about 15 min), went to work that day, everything normal, checked my emails when I got home and there it was, the boss must have sent it the minute I've left. S**t job, but still... being told you're not good enough it's not nice! It gets much better, unbeknownst to them, the person hired as my replacement is actually a friend of a very close friend of mine, and the boss did exactly the same thing to him, fired over email, practically a copy/paste of the email I've got! Conclusion, ex-boss is an a*****e to everyone!
Still many opportunity ahead. Don't waste your time and energy where you not appreciated and not loved. Just move on already.
Pretend you didn't see the email. Send your boss an email that you are quitting etc.....
So is my office the only place if you see someone who didn't lock their computer, you send an email from them their boss that says "I quit", etc.
To me Fired means the person has committed some gross misconduct, had previous warnings, breached contract or something along those lines.
My boss once fired me without telling me. He told my colleagues, and they were surprised I pitched up at work, then I had to go and ask him if I was fired. PS, I wasn't a very good waiter, so don't blame him for the firing part, just the bit where he didn't actually tell me.
The author of the question literally refers to the boss as a "he". No assumptions, just reading.
Load More Replies... Is it just me? Are there way way way way more comments up when you get on BP. I usually wake up 6:00 a.m East Coast US. And there are almost 0 comment (except 1 or 2 people who beat me to the punch) today I got on and......76, 48, 52,104 ex.... what's the deal? Anyone else notice this?
Nvm I think I was looking at post from Friday, bc a few new post just dropped with 0 comments
Load More Replies... 
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