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Sometimes our brains just stop functioning and we do some seriously bizarre stuff. Probably all of us have heard of or experienced 'brain farts' or 'brain.exe stopped working,' and the results of the phenomena are usually pretty strange and hilarious. That is why after this Redditor asked: "What is the most bizarre thing you've caught yourself doing after your brain's autopilot misfired?" it resulted in some amazing and engaging stories.
People shared loads of amazing examples about this topic, from leaving things in the fridge, to getting ready for high school when they're all grown up. Do you have any brain farts to share? Please do so in the comment section below! And if you're interested in more of this type of content click here.
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#1
Cup of coffee in left hand, phone in the right hand. Go to my room, take a sip of my phone and throw coffee on the bed.
A B C the Third 2 years ago
I once found my phone in the fridge. Yes, very relatable.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
Painting while having coffee. Dip paint brush in coffee and sip paint water. Thankfully it wasn't turpentine.
Lori Jabi 2 years ago
Hahaha, my husband once was standing in the kitchen, a glass of water in one hand and a piece of garbage in the other. I was sitting behind him on the table and watching him. He opened the garbage bin, poured the water in it and closed the bin. I could see him slowly looking down to his hand with the garbage piece, then slowly turning his head to see if I was aware of what he just did and we nearly peed our pants of laughing.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Could hardly read because of roflmao! You're awesome! 🤣 I once had one close bottle of malt beer and one open, took a sip because I was so thirsty! Wanted to watch TV from my new bed with new, sterile looking mattress. Threw the open bottle on the bed! Now there's a big yellowish-brown stain right in the middle of the mattress (I turned, so the beer could dry)! When I moved with that bed I had to explain to everyone who helped me that it's just malt beer and telling about my brain autopilot fail! I'm silly enough to laugh at myself 🤦🏼♀️ Dunno if everyone knows malt beer, it's a German soft drink: sweet, dark brown beer without alcohol.
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Beeps 2 years ago
Have you seen that wedding video where poor old grandma throws her drink over the bride instead of the confetti she was holding in the other hand? Poor thing looked mortified too.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
Better than trying to make a call and getting hot coffee in your ear.
BoredPanther 2 years ago
a fresh sip of electricity with a hint of pixels
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Quitethedilemma 2 years ago
Wheezing laughed so hard at this because I've done similar stuff more than once.
We talked to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he gave some amazing insights: "Researchers have discovered that we have, roughly speaking, two systems that determine our mental processes: the 'autopilot system' and 'intentional system.' The autopilot system corresponds to our emotions and intuitions. This system evolved to help us survive in the ancestral savanna environment and mostly relies on the amygdala, the older part of the brain. It guides our daily habits, helps us make snap decisions, and reacts instantly to dangerous life-and-death situations. The snap judgments resulting from intuitions and emotions usually feel 'true' and 'right' precisely because they are fast and powerful. We feel very comfortable when we go with them. Decisions arising from our gut reactions are indeed often right in those situations that resemble the ancient savanna."
RELATED:
#2
Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.
I was driving.
Edgar Rops 2 years ago
I was looking for my phone while talking on it. Person on the other end was giving me tips where to look. Double brain freeze.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Wait, were they in the same glitch, or were they messing with you?
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Robert T 2 years ago
With some keyless igniition cars, it is entirely possible to start the car and drive off in it, leaving the keys at home. It will run till you turn it off, then you won't be able to restart it. Or, as a friend of mine found out, it is entirely possible to start the car with the keys on the roof. At some point on his journey, the keys fell off the roof, along with the keys to his other car which were attached to them!
Bubbles and sparks 2 years ago
Just recently was searching for my reading glasses all over the house ... Turned out they were on top of my head 😂
Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Reminds me of Fawlty Towers "Communication Problems" 😂
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Ive done something similar. Turned around and went back home to get the wad of keys I need for work...the wad that was hanging from my belt since I put my pants on that morning.💀🤷🏽♂️
#3
I used to work at McDonald's drive-thru. 5 days a week, 8hrs a day; so I had been hard-wired to say, "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I help you today?" Every single time I heard the headset beep. Straight-up Pavlovian. One day there was a particularly wily fly that was always just a second ahead of me. I became very focused on killing this fly. I don't know how many times I said it before a coworker finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, but it turns out I'd been saying "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I kill you today?" To every car in the drive-thru. Not one customer even paused or acknowledged the fact that Ronald McDonald threatened them with murder. They just wanted their goddamn nuggets.
Alexia 2 years ago
"Welcome to McDonald's. How can I kill you today?" - I spilled coffee on my laptop :)))) Thank you for the laugh!
Joe Reaves 2 years ago
I have a friend who works for a bank in their telephone centre. I am considering challenging her to say something similar and see how long until someone notices. People do not listen to this s**t. I used to work for an accountant. Our number was the same as the airport but with two digits switched. I would always answer with 'I Hussain & Company, how can I help you?' but most of the people who had dialled the wrong number didn't notice and still thought I was the airport.
Load More Replies... BoredPanther 2 years ago (edited)
Uhhh, man I j want my nuggets, can I like — is the killing optional?
Don't you wish you knew 2 years ago (edited)
I talk to clients on the phone and once told the person "love you, bye" because I'm so used to saying it to family and friends. The person didn't realize I guess. But I made a conscientious effort to never do that again!
However, Dr. Gleb shared that the 'autopilot' isn't really necessary anymore: "Unfortunately, in too many cases they’re wrong. Our modern environments have many elements that are unlike the savanna. With growing technological disruption, ranging from teleconferences to social media, our modern world looks less and less like our ancestral environment. The autopilot system will therefore increasingly lead us to make disastrous decisions, in systematic and predictable ways, which are called cognitive biases."
#4
I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change.
Kate Haslam 2 years ago
Drunk drivers will run through a stop sign; stoned drivers wait for it to turn green.
unfilteredCigarette73 2 years ago (edited)
Well we kinda wait for everything to turn green...also please don't drive if you're high as the space station
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Full of Giggles 2 years ago
I’ve done something similar. I was stopped at a stop sign and my eye caught the traffic light a few blocks ahead. I waited for it to turn green. I didn’t realize my error until a police officer tapped on my window to ask why I wasn’t moving.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Oopsie! Hope police was nice. I'm taking good care of my drivers license as I'm disabled and caring for three rescued kitties and couldn't carry the tons of food they want or cat litter without having my own car! Never driving when I shouldn't! But stupiding while driving though: waiting for the garage door to open, but it's not electric. After waiting for the green light, staring at it instead of driving until the green is gone again (Nobody behind me who would honk me to the moon). Best fails are to suddenly forgetting how to windshield wipers, how to gear shift, how to winker, how to handbrake (put and release), how to fuel tank cap, or which foot to use to brake! After doing all this automatically since almost 28 years!
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Auntriarch 2 years ago
I did nearly drive through a red light because a new supermarket had just been opened on the intersection and it's logo was the same green as a go light. I don't know if anyone else did, but within the fortnight, they had moved the logo away from the corner near the lights
sturmwesen 2 years ago
I once waited at a blinking yellow light - if they blink it means they wont turn green or red but you have to watch out and drive if it's free
Sto Cristian 2 years ago
I once ran a red leaving my gf place at 3 am. It was a rail crossing with two matching lights on both sides and kind of forgot about the first.
#5
When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
My next door neighbor did something similar, sitting on his porch late in the evening (very dark) felt something brush his hand and began petting what he thought was a nice kitty. Looked down to find a skunk under his hand.
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Whitefox 2 years ago
There was a campground skunk that routinely made the rounds trough the campground we frequented. Never gave anybody any trouble.. Just did his rounds. One night my friend was up late by the fire reheating some pizza and said he felt like someone was watching him. It was the skunk. He had sauntered up and was hanging out under the chair next to my friend watching the fire and begging for some pizza.
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Mistiekim 2 years ago
I’ve read about people who own skunks as pets - the gland that produces the stink spray is removed. Apparently they aren’t much different than having a cat.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Descenting skunks is illegal in civilised countries. Once they grow past the baby stage they very rarely spray unless badly treated.
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Aave 2 years ago
Are skunks naturally that chill (we don't have those here so I really have no clue)? Maybe it wasn't the first time...? :D
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Oh lawdy my wife would absolutely sqweeeeeeeeee! if that happened to her. She would be giddy as long as the skunk didn't get trigger happy.
Dr. Gleb explains the intentional system in our brains that contrasts the autopilot: "The intentional system, by contrast, reflects rational and analytical thinking. It centers around the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that evolved more recently. This thinking system helps us handle more complex mental activities, such as managing individual and group relationships, logical reasoning, abstract thinking, evaluating probabilities, and learning new information, skills, and habits. While the automatic system requires no conscious effort to function, using the intentional system requires a deliberate effort to and is mentally tiring. Fortunately, with enough motivation and appropriate training, you can learn to turn on the intentional system in situations where the autopilot system is prone to make systematic and predictable errors."
#6
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.
My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
BoredPanther 2 years ago
"One side of nuggets pls" "that’ll be $4.99” “Ok now say the blessing pls” “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I kill you today?"
Full of Giggles 2 years ago (edited)
I worked at a movie theatre for about three years. I became hard wired to say “Thank you! Enjoy your show.” During a visit to my OGBYN for my yearly Well Woman exam, the doctor thanked me for coming in and out of habit I replied “Thank you! Enjoy your show.” I was mortified.
debrina blackmoon 2 years ago
Hmm-idk, but leave my head attached. We're not all magical like Headless Roach. :)
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Colin Matthews 2 years ago
oh yeah lack of sleep will make you strrrrange, after our daughter was born i spent months bottle feeding her at night and working all day. Got sent home one day when the staff realised i could not recall my wife's name and was speaking some kind of weird pidgin english
Sinead Kenny 2 years ago
My daughter goes to dancing competitions and we all stand and clap for winners etc. After a gruelling full Saturday at competition I wearily went to church Sunday morning. When a parishioner finished the first reading I sleepily stood up in front of the whole congregation and gave a round off applause! 🤦♀️ was the most embarrassing moment of my life!
Janos Schumacher 2 years ago
I've been doing call center work off and on for over 20 years. The other day I answered the phone, "Thank you for calling LIfetime Fitness..." I've never worked for Lifetime Fitness. I don't think I've ever even called them. I have no idea where that came from.
#7
I took the metro home then realized i drove to work.. that was a long night.
John Olpenda 2 years ago
hahahaha same! I went home commuting late at night even though I used my motorcycle at morning going for work.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Could be me too, but my boss did that one day and I've been on night shift. He came to my office a few hours after leaving to tell me and to laugh with me.
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Ali H M Salehuddin 2 years ago
Unless parking at work is chargeable per hour or not secured, I'd just go back home and retrieve the car after work tomorrow.
Puffy Panda 2 years ago
Better than taking the metro to work and then looking for your car in the parking lot!
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Omg. I for real literally have nightmares about this. I can't find my car in the high school parking lot. I'm 50 and do not work for the educational system. 😳
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Hmmm...yeah, I've forgotten my work truck before. I was on call and wasn't allowed to bring the truck home, so I had to park it at a secured facility close by. Driving to work, I got maybe halfway there before I realized I forgot it.
Jaye Rodger 2 years ago
This is a great opportunity to impress your bosses. Leave the car and commute the following morning. That manager who always prides themselves on being first to work will see your car and wonder who the highly motivated person is. They'll either ask around the workplace or they'll wait to see who hours on it that evening. Either way your stocks will rise as they'll see you as an exceptional worker when really you're just so tired you make simple mistakes.
Andrea Hall 2 years ago
And then a long morning when, I'm assuming, you would have to take the metro back to work in order to drive your car home. Yuck.
Ansel Carr 2 years ago
The car talking here HOW COULD YOU ABANDON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"We tend to think of ourselves as rational thinkers, usually using the intentional system. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The autopilot system is by far the more powerful of the two systems, determining 80-90 percent of what we do, think, feel, and decide. Our emotions often overwhelm our reason. Moreover, our intuition and habits dominate the majority of our lives. We’re usually in autopilot mode. That’s not a bad thing at all, as it would be mentally exhausting to think through our every action and decision. However, it’s bad when this system makes the same errors, again and again. Fortunately, you can use your intentional system to interrupt these errors. You can change your automatic thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns to avoid mental blind spots."
#8
I made the best ever chicken stock, lovingly simmered for 24 hours. Then, without thinking, I put the colander in the sink and tipped the stock down the drain, saving the scraps. I cried.
all 4 paws 2 years ago
I would cry too, although i cry over more things than i should. "No use crying over spilled milk" BUT WHAT IF IT SPILLS ON MY LAPTOP
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)
I would definitely cry too. Accidentally getting rid of something perfect is traumatizing
Priscilla Branch 2 years ago
I feel for the contributor. I grated a lemon and then manually squeezed the pulp for a recipe one evening when I was really tired. And as a compulsive cleaner I washed everything... Including the bowl of lemon juice I had just squeezed. Thankfully I had purchased 2 lemons.
Oliver 2 years ago
My mom did that about a week ago. I was on my phone in the kitchen and just watched her not understanding what was happening until she looked at the sink and then at me and we burst out laughing
Barbara Maloney 2 years ago
BEFORE you finish making it, place the colander over a bowl in the sink. Kills me when I pour the stock down the drain.
JMC5003 2 years ago
Preemptively preventing a brain glitch. I like it! : )
Load More Replies... BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
I did this too! Except, I put my omelette in the trash rather than my orange peel. It was a tradgety.
#9
Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.
I high-fived him.
Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
Puffy Panda 2 years ago
I would be so happy if someone high fived me while I was hailing a taxi! But I’m just weird like that.
SilentNinja 2 years ago
A similar thing happened. I was eating lunch with friends, and someone had said something so funny when I had just had taken a sip of water. I was about to choke or spit it out, so I held my hand out to get them to stop. Then someone high-fives it and I almost died from laughing.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Did he have one hand in his pocket?...... Sorry, I had to. I got that in my head now.
*Laws*Of*Anarchy* 2 years ago
And what it all comes down to, is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine, cause I've got one hand in my pocket and the other ones giving a high five!!!! Thank you for getting that stuck in my head now lol
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PastaNoodle Turduckin 2 years ago
Wtf, someone did this to me at two in the morning in Denver some years ago…was that you?
Rougarou Cher 2 years ago
I was out for a run near the sorority houses for the university here and there was a young woman running coming toward me and randomly high-fived me as we passed each other. Made my day.
Julie Ann Al buzbeba 2 years ago
Its 6am and I am laying in bed in the dark with my husband and 3 yr old son sound asleep next to me...and I just let out a huge bellow of a laugh at this...no one is asleep anymore...just mad at me
All in all, both of these parts of our brain are quite important: "It’s crucial to recognize that these two systems of thinking are counterintuitive. They don’t align with our conscious self-perception. Your mind feels like a cohesive whole. Unfortunately, this self-perception is simply a comfortable myth that helps you make it through the day. There is no actual 'there' there; your sense of self is a construct that results from multiple complex mental processes within the autopilot and intentional system. When I first found that out, it blew my mind (every part of it). It takes a bit of time to incorporate this realization into your mental model of yourself and others, in other words, how you perceive your mind to work. Bottom line is that you’re not who you think you are."
#10
1. Unwrap candy.
2. Throw candy in trash
3. Stare at wrapper
Kel Jones 2 years ago
I have done this...it is devastating and traumatic. Especially if it's the last piece.
Auntie Bear 2 years ago (edited)
Sounds like a good diet plan to me.. that I will never follow
Spittnimage 2 years ago
I've put money in pop machine, pushed the button, and walked away. Did it twice before i realized I was walking away without getting my pop.
Melissa 2 years ago
The next person got a special surprise and you probably made their day :)
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Bruce Ferrier 2 years ago
Or you eat applesauce from the disposable containers and throw the spoon in the trash and the container in the sink
#11
I woke up from a deep sleep having the feeling that there was an earthquake going on so naturally I call to my wife who I realized was in the living room reading and asked her if everything was okay and she asked why? I said there was just an earthquake is everything okay she said no you just farted in your sleep and woke yourself up. I went back to bed....
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Or she just knew her partner. There could be reasons she was in the other room
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Somebodys grandmother 2 years ago
My husband does that.... to our dog who sleeps next to him... the dog is very confused every time 😂😂
Robert T 2 years ago
I woke from a deep sleep to the sound of the wardrobes rattling. Thought my recently deceased wife had come back to haunt me. It WAS an earthquake.
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your wife, Robert. Many blessings to you.
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meow point1 2 years ago
For me, I don't even need to fart. Sometimes, I just randomly jolt awake, especially if I dreamt I was falling.
Goth Mouse (he/they) 2 years ago
My dog does this, he farts in his sleep and leaps up in shock 😅
We also spoke to Instagram account Psychology Facts (we made an article about them which you can check out by clicking here) and they also shared their insights on this topic: "The human brain's autopilot system, also known as the default mode network, can sometimes lead to bizarre or unexpected behavior. The default mode network is a group of brain regions that are active when an individual is not focused on a specific task. It is thought to play a role in self-reflection, planning, and daydreaming. When the default mode network is active, an individual may find themselves engaging in behaviors that seem unusual or unexpected to others, as their brain is not fully focused on the present moment."
#12
I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...
I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not *that many* people fly at like 430am.
Jodi Rinker 2 years ago
I bet if you'd just kept going, real casual and folded them up and just continued in your underwear, somebody would've potentially followed suit thinking security has just updated to be stricter yet again
Valaun 2 years ago
Though not quite as bad, on an early morning December flight, I awoke at 3 am to have a cup of coffee. Caught an Lyft to the airport. As per my usual routine, I am emptying my pockets into my bag before getting in the security line. As I went to remove my zippered jacket, I realized I had forgotten to put a shirt on. Lovely start to a trip.
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
I'm the horror of airport security, honestly. Often flying tired and sometimes already medicated (got a recipe for anti anxiety pills for flying and such). Things I've forgotten in hand luggage or on me include: Water bottle, belt, metric ton of coins and on one memorable occasion a whole aß wine bottle opener. I do always apologize for being an incurable idiot, but still... could I get a brain upgrade plz?
Bee 2 years ago
Why do you have to take off your belt and shoes? Is this a common USA practice?
#13
Tapped a picture in the newspaper hoping to see the full article. Took me a good 5 seconds to realize where I messed up.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I once clicked a video pause button… in a damn photo in a book
Garry Cowan 2 years ago
Thank god I thought I was the only person to do this my eyesight isn't great and I've tried to enlarge articles on a newspaper.. when you think about it it's a rather sad indictment of our modern societies reliance on smartphone technology
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Or a clear example of it's benefits to people like you and me who struggle to read the newspaper print because of issues with eyesight
Load More Replies... Pharmtechgurl 2 years ago
No, but when I read a "real" book, I try to tap the page to turn it
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
I cant count the times that I've tried to use touch screen controls on non touch screen monitors...Two, three, sometimes four times if I'm exceptionally dense that day, I'll try to zoom in on something. As I realize what I'm doing, I glance around to see if anyone saw, and EVERYONE is looking at me like "you idiot..."
glowworm2 2 years ago
I kept wanting to do this to my boyfriend’s laptop ever since I got a touch screen one. His isn’t a touchscreen.
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Susan Bosse 2 years ago
At our holiday party, I wanted desperately to be able to zoom in on the printed versions of the Photo Booth pics. Haha Luckily they texted them to us so I was able to do so but damn I wanted to zoom in on the printed pix.
RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
I do mainly digital art, but when I move to paper I always reach for the undo button, or go towards the colour picker lmao
"For example, someone might find themselves absentmindedly walking into a room and forgetting why they went there, or getting lost in thought while driving and missing their turn. These behaviors can be a result of the brain's autopilot system misfiring, as the individual's attention is not fully on the task at hand."
#14
Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.
The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "F**k, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
Once my brother put his shampoo on his shower towel, then proceeded to shower, without washing his dusty hair, and it was hilarious. Came out smelling for all he's worth like shampoo.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
I too put shampoo on my shower rag... thought fir a sec thinking " how am i gonna put this in my hair".... than after a bit put body wash IN MY HAIR... youve never heard pain till u seen my reaction T-T🍩
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Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
I once sprayed a bunch of hairspray on my roots thinking it was my dry shampoo, needless to say it because a slicked back ponytail day with very sticky hair
Electra Complex 2 years ago
One time my brother complained to me that he used my face lotion and it smelled bad.... It was Nair
Puffy Panda 2 years ago
The male equivalent to putting lotion in your hair and conditioner on your face
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Reminds me of that episode of Red Dwarf where Lister sticks a spraycan under his shirt and sprays his underarms, then picks up the OTHER spraycan and starts spraying his face... which is when he realises he got the deodorant and the shaving cream switched around. So he scoops the shaving cream out of his shirt and slaps some on his face.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
Reminds me of a time after night shift when I put zit cream on my toothbrush and started brushing
#15
Drove to work and realized when I got to the parking lot that I forgot to drop the kids at school. The kids knew too and stayed quiet thinking they'd get to miss school. Love those sneaky little devils.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
A bit like the woman who left her toddler in the car instead of dropping her off at daycare and didn't realise it until she heard a little voice say "Yay I get to go to work with Mommy!" (She realised how badly it could have ended if the kid hadn't spoken up, and sensibly took it as a warning to take some time off and get more sleep).
Bobby 2 years ago
My wife once forgot or baby in the car when we were visiting my mom. I was already getting the baby out of the car so I just assumed my wife went straight inside cause it was cold. She felt terrible and got a car seat that would play a sound when the car was turned off if the car seat was buckled
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Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
When my kids were too small to unbuckle themselves I put my purse in the backseat so i would be forced to turn around and look
Persephone 2 years ago (edited)
I discourage my kids from unbuckling themselves, but they also often fall asleep... so no feedback when i arrive. it would be nice for a sensor to beep on a car seat that is either still buckled on arrival or has weight in it. I've personally not had this happen, but it is terrifyingly easy when someone is overworked and/or has shared custody with a shifting schedule. I always put something I need in the back of my car too, bc I would never be able to survive this.
Load More Replies... Persephone 2 years ago
This is the scariest! This is how kids accidentally die in hot cars when parents are overworked and exhausted!
N. 2 years ago
If y'all wanna ruin your day, Google FATAL DISTRACTION. Award winning article about forgetting your kids in the car.
Na Schi 2 years ago
Wow, really good written: I really wish this to noone - such a devastating situation, that holds you hostage for the rest of your life.
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ILoveMySon 2 years ago
It is called "Mom Brain". Please ignore nasty responses as, clearly, your children are old enough to alert you. Certainly, I will be downvoted but note my screen name. 😊
Persephone 2 years ago
Well, that's kind of a poor term... in a lot of ways, considering dads do this as well. It's more like tunnel vision from doing something repetitive while exhausted, that may occasionally change slightly... like having a drop off change on your way to work when your drive to work has typically been the same, and you go on autopilot mentally. This often happens with fatigue, and has nothing to do with being a mom other than that demographic sometimes being overworked more commonly.
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Alleman Jennifer 2 years ago
A friend of mine lost her four month old in a scenario like like this with a tragic ending. The only reason I post is I've always thought there shld be a device attached to a key ring with the other half attached to the car seat which wld beep when the key chain got past a certain distance from the car seat. The beep wld be a reminder if a parent is on auto pilot, which happens to anyone. I've thought abt this for many years, but I'm not an engineer or a manufacturer. If there is a Panda out there who cld design and mass market such a thing. Or if a car seat company cld make it standard, it wld save lives. What a butterfly effect story that wld be. A pleasant little BP story turns into a real life save. Go PB. Go save lives. Probably make some money too. Win win all around.
Persephone 2 years ago
Yes. A weight sensor for the carseat or buckle being fastened still upon arrival! No parent wants to live thru such a horrific tragedy! I've said the same thing. A pad maybe that goes under a carseat??? Unfortunately, that means people would have to buy it. It should just be included with carseats in my opinion.
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Ivan Ilic 2 years ago
Last summer that happened in my country.Father forget little child on backseat,and go to work.Child died and when he find him, he killed himself.tragedy
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Farid Red 2 years ago
There are many cases happen when parents forgot their little kids (early morning) and straight going to work. Only realize it when wanna go back (evening) and their little ones already dead. So i always check my baby seat to make sure no one is there when i left the car at work.
They also shared their own personal experience with autopilot: "The most bizarre thing I’ve caught myself doing after my brain’s autopilot misfired was when I was still in high school. I was in a classroom and everyone was dead silent because we were working on our homework, and most of us wore earbuds and listened to music while working. I remember listening to 'Black and Yellow' from Wiz Khalifa, which I apparently found an incredible song as a 12-year-old, because I remember that out of nowhere, I started singing along loud and clear with the chorus. I did this for around 5 seconds before I noticed everyone was staring at me, and I should probably stop distracting the rest of the class."
#16
Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.
Julie Ann Al buzbeba 2 years ago
Kind of like that funny ad on TV about the lady who needed new glasses and let the big racoon in the house thinking it was her cat! Lol
Madam Puddyfoot 2 years ago
I did that: There was a tomcat out on the deck bothering my cats, so I stormed out wearing my nightgown and barn boots to yell at him, only it was a black bear trying to pull the bird feeder across the pully system. Luckily he ran immediately (as did I!) Now I never go out at night without turning on the porch light first to see what's making the noise!
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
Oh thank goodnes... I hope that poor bear got help to not rely on humans.
rodger coghlan 2 years ago
I was counting moths on the window of our cabin in the woods back in 1958 when I realized one of the moths was the nose of a black bear
#17
I had a very long day of computer drafting, think +12 hours sitting and staring at .5mm lines, and got really lost so I asked the person next to me what the hell I did wrong because they seemed like they would absolutely have the explanation. I got most of the way through the answer before I realized not only had I asked my frazzled reflection a question, but I also calmly and matter-of-factly responded. I went home after that.
Melissa Hamed 2 years ago
I bet he actually knew. But he was so out of it that he couldn't realize which way it went. Knowing or unknowing
Load More Replies... Robert T 2 years ago
This is how most of my debugging sessions go. At the end, I ask myself, "which idiot wrote that?". The answer is usually me.
Luna Crow 2 years ago (edited)
Oh boy.. my mama always said talking to yourself is normal, it's when there's a back-and-forth dialogue that there might be a problem. Pretty cool though that dude thought their reflection looked like someone who would know, and they were right. Glad they went home after, and hopefully got some sleep
meow point1 2 years ago
Once when I was about seven, my parents and I were spending Christmas at my grandparents' house, and I was sleeping in a room that had a window that led to a derelict aviary (because way back in ye olden days, they used to have birds). I woke up in the night, saw my reflection in the window, and, still groggy, shouted, "AHH! THERE'S A GIRL IN THE AVIARY!".
"It's important to note that the default mode network serves important functions in the brain, and it is not always a negative thing when it is active. The human brain's autopilot system serves a number of important functions in the brain that help to support mental health and well-being. It allows individuals to take a break from the demands of the outside world and engage in activities that support self-reflection, planning, and creativity. While the default mode network can sometimes lead to unexpected or bizarre behavior when it causes an individual to become disengaged from their surroundings, it serves important functions in the brain and is not always a negative thing when it is active."
#18
The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.
The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.
Purplescales 2 years ago
That second one is my nightmare, when I am home, there is no leaving for work until the next day.
Amber Dowson 2 years ago
Why did people downvote it wasn’t offensive? I upvoted to make it just 0.
Load More Replies... Persephone 2 years ago
This is how parents who are overwhelmed and overworked, forget they had drop off and leave a kid in the car... autopilot when you're exhausted is scary!
Water dog 2 years ago
I was on a project at work that had us manning a "war room" day and night. We were all getting slap-happy. We were running two 12 hour shifts 7 days a week for weeks. One morning I was an hour late getting there, and apologized profusely to the rest of the team. They said, "What are you talking about? You left the night shift an hour ago!" Apparently I drove home, turned around and drove back to the office. That's an hour drive round trip. At that point I was afraid to try to drive home, so I went to my car and slept for hours.
Moya Satterwhite 2 years ago
I went home from school one day and my mother was surprised, it was just afternoon break. She wrote a note about me having my period unexpectedly (totally lied for me). I wasn’t punished or anything.
#19
Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "s**t I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.
BoredPanther 2 years ago
HAHAHAHA dude its1:30 an and Im trying to laugh quietly so I don’t wake up everyone else
pink_panda 2 years ago
Sometimes I'll get this when I'm very tired and drifting in and out of sleep... I'll think, "oh no, I still have to complete what I was doing" before realizing that I was dreaming and have no mission to complete in the real world.
Via Hawk 2 years ago
OMGGGG I DO THIS ALL THE TIME. My favorite instance was watching a horror movie and the character was hiding from a murder or some s**t, my bf pauses it and says he’s going up to get more snacks. I look at him like a fool and say “babe quiet! Your gonna get us killed!” This actually happened 🥲
Philly Bob 2 years ago
Was home from where I worked in center city Philly and lived 25 miles from my parents house in Bridgeport, PA. Stopped by Mom & Dad's which was close by for a few because I had a show in center city about 3 miles away and didn't feel like driving home and back again. Literally took a nap in my old bed, in my old room and when my alarm went off, I woke up and thought I had to get up for school. Same bed, same room... 10 years after I graduated! Man, the memories that flooded back.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
Last time I was on painkillers after a surgery, I had a really hard time distinguishing my real life from what was happening on the TV. I guess some people don't need to be drugged first!
"If you are someone who is struggling with a low mood, and is overthinking often, our new Dose formula might be of good use to you. Dose is a research-backed formula that teaches you step-by-step how to hack the production of your happiness chemicals. Me and Tj Power, who is a neuroscientist, have been working on this formula for over a year now, and we are finally able to offer it to you! Go to neurify.io and put yourself in a better headspace!"
#20
I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.
BoredPanther 2 years ago
ahhh I think I’ve done that too actually. and by that, I mean literally yesterday. I grabbed my pick then spat it out
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I laughed way too hard at this person's pain... Hopefully it's because of how relatable this is and not because in turning evil!
Nezuko_Chan 2 years ago
I was playing my uke and eating chocolate forgot I was eating chocolate proceeded to play the ukulele with the piece of chocolate
#21
Jumped out of bed frantically. Put my clothes on. Brushed all the s**t on my floor under my bed..paused. And realised its 3am in the morning and I don't have school. I'm 23.
Oliver 2 years ago
I’ve done that before scrambled out of bed and got dressed and everything. Mom looks at me then tells me it’s Saturday
AVGucky 2 years ago (edited)
I did it all the way to school, one summer morning! Nobody was waiting outside the school, so I thought I'll smoke a cigarette (18 yrs old me then, proud quitter since 11 years today!) and calm down after rushing to school and before going in, I'm late anyways! Then the janitor walked by with his dogs and asked me why I'm sitting in front of the school at 5am ... on a Sunday. We had a good laugh before I went back home to bed, my parents and brother still asleep! Of course I told them everything later 😆
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Hotomato 2 years ago
Don't you just wonder when in your life your brain is? Several years ago (~2018) when checks were still a thing, I wrote the year 1978. What the what?!
Saturnian (They/It/Wish/Void) 2 years ago
You were possessed by the ghost of someone who died in 1978
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Senjo Krane 2 years ago
I once woke my husband up at 3am, telling him he's going to be late for work. He goes to bath and I go back to sleep. He was fully dressed before he checks his watch and tells me it's the middle of the night. I couldn't stop laughing and he was so grumpy. I still laugh about that 30 years later.
MyDogIsSoWeird 2 years ago
Just did this a few weeks ago- woke up checked the clock and realized I didn't set my alarm or slept through it. Remembered it was a day I had to drive to the office, started the shower.. frantic. Woke my husband and we are late. I'm running all over, fed the dog and back to hop in the shower and find my husband sitting up in bed and informed me it was Sunday. Oh, the relief was amazing!!!! Made breakfast after getting my heart rate down a bit.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
LOL My mom had the opposite one morning. I was in the kitchen eating breakfast before heading off to school. It was Friday. I thought my mom left for work early, cos normally I got up after she left for work. But I saw her in her housecoat casually walking in the kitchen to get her coffee and then walking towards the front door. I asked "What are you doing?" She just says "Getting the newspaper. Why?" (She only got it delivered on the weekend.) I say "It's Friday. Why do you think I'm dressed and eating breakfast before 8am?" She went into total panic mode.
Load More Replies... Shane S 2 years ago (edited)
I’ve done this a couple times after a night of drinking. I wake up at 2-5 AM and get in the shower for work. Then realize later that it’s Sunday and/or I don’t work until later in the day. I always do a double take when I look at the clock and realize it’s the middle of the night.
badboyhalo 2 years ago
This happened to me. 5:00 am in the morning I get up thinking it's 6 I do my entire morning routine and just as I'm done doing my hair. I realize that I've woken up an hour before I normally do
Nameless_User 2 years ago
I woke up a few hours before work and proceeded to commute to work, feeling puzzled to see the place empty and locked. Did the walk of shame back home.
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
I did that today, after staying up until 2 o'clock. I'm a tired, determined panda.
Puffy Panda 2 years ago
I’ve had this happen the opposite way! I’m a student, and I’ve woken up going, ah, another day of retirement! LITERALLY
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Really? That's kinda awesome. Brains clearly discard time when asleep, but I haven't heard of that angle before
Load More Replies... #22
My sister had a brain fart and left the water running in the kitchen. I went to turn it off, and flipped the kitchen light switch. Repeatedly. Then started cussing when the switch wouldn't cut the water off. Then got my tool box and started taking the faceplate off the light switch so I could see why it wasn't cutting the water off. At that point my other sister, who witnessed all of this, kindly pointed out that I had lost my ever loving mind and cut the water off herself.
Jess-a-men 2 years ago
Reminds me of when I tried to cut the water off by pressing the button on my electrical toothbrush.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I've tried to open the door to my house with my car's fob more than once. 😔
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Nameless_User 2 years ago
Do you guys ever just turn the lights off even though its mid-day and they are not off?
#23
When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird
Chrissyfox 2 years ago
Eight year old me in bed with chicken pox. Wake up in the middle of the night and I can see a fairy dancing back and forth very elegantly on the floor by the bed. I'm transfixed and fascinated. Then something licks my face. Our beagle was standing by the bed wagging his elegant black and white tail. I can still remember that 'fairy'.
Anna S. 2 years ago
I have done something similar although I realized my error when I paused at the front door, reaching for my keys and my brain remembered that this would not be possible in someone else's house. Luckily, it was also the dead of the night, so nobody saw me. It did scare me a bit though, that my brain would misfire like this.
Edison Michael 2 years ago
Now imagine if the parents woke up while he was trying to sneak back and he had to convince them of what happened? Unless he were usually an astonishingly well behaved kid, that would be some frustrating talk from both sides.
MaggieMay85 2 years ago
I did this kind of stuff my whole childhood. I had bad social anxiety growing up, so my subconscious came out play at night. I had a note next to my bed that said, “it’s just a dream”, it worked most times.
parmadillo 2 years ago
A few times a year, I wake up in the middle of the night (in underwear or naked) and am horrified because I’m sharing a bed with my mom or sister, and that’s super inappropriate! Sometimes I even make it to the dresser and start putting on jeans before realizing 1) I’m in my own house, and 2) that’s my partner snoozing in bed next to me, not my relative.
Sharon Ingram 2 years ago
Accidentally posted. Dreamed I was at a sleepover. So I got out of bed and left. Got outside and woke up under a streetlight realizing it's middle of the night. Go back home but I had locked the door. Fortunately the window in the door had been broken and still had a board covering it. I slid it aside reached in and unlocked the door. Went in locked it again (lot of good that did, right?). That was 50 years ago.
Load More Replies... Persephone 2 years ago
Not weird at all... this is the definition of sleep walking while gradually becoming conscious.
#24
After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Me: Good, how are you?
Cashier: I'm good, thanks.
Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?
That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.
edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one who's done awk things on cashier autopilot! And thanks for the gold! <3
Rebekah 2 years ago
One Black Friday, a customer said "have a nice day". I responded with "love you too." It had been a long day.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
I've done this to my boss before...He called to send us on a job and he said "Be careful" and I replied "I will hon, love you." It wasn't untill I called him back later that I realized it.
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Lisa H 2 years ago
Many years back, I was en route to come home from Marine Corps boot camp and had a long layover at the Savannah airport in Georgia. I decided to get a Starbucks coffee while I waited because after over a month of mediocre chow hall food, that sounded delicious (it was). Since I was fresh out of boot camp, certain phrases were ingrained in my mind. With every single thing the cashier said, I instinctively responded with either "Yes, Ma'am" or "Aye, Ma'am" and I could NOT stop myself. She was very understanding, but also highly amused by this. At least I made her day better 😁
Blaine's the Middle Name 2 years ago
I've done this with phones. Answered my cell like I was still at work. "Thanks for calling so and so, how can I help you today"
My O My 2 years ago
This happens to me when calling someone. At work when I call out usually "Hi My O My speaking from the local vet here in town, I have a short question" - and I was calling the doctors office trying to make an appointment for my kiddo 🙄
Load More Replies... MyDogIsSoWeird 2 years ago
Ending a phone call by saying "love you!" Returning a call or calling somewhere/someone answer then picking up using professional work "hi this is blah blah blah with blah blah..."
WhydoIneedaname 2 years ago
When I was 3, my parents let me record the message for our home phone voicemail... so for almost 10 years everyone who called when we weren't home heard me declaring "I love you bye!" I shudder whenever I remember it.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Not what I experienced, but somewhere on the web someone said they were working as a cashier and had this habit of saying "Have a good one." to all the customers by default. A lady needed the restroom and asked for the key. From what he said she did not "have a good one."
Luna Crow 2 years ago
This makes me laugh both because "have a good one" is my all-purpose default, and also my bestie's reply to anyone announcing their departure to the restroom is "I hope it all comes out ok"
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Soaring Ph03n1x 2 years ago
Nah boo that's just retail promise we've all done it at least once!
Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago
Whenever I say goodbye to my family, I say "Bye, love you!" and my worst nightmare is doing that at school! I've barely caught myself countless times
Rosa Sensenig 2 years ago
Serving ice cream at the grocery store where I worked and instead of asking if they want a cone or a dish, I asked, "Debit or credit?"
Bob La Capra 2 years ago
The day after the Christmas observed holiday (US) I was surprised to see my mail carrier at my place on time. I said "you're making really good time for the day after a holiday." She smiled and said, "you too!"
#25
I once got my car impounded via brain-autopilot. I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home. A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back. Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
Don't they try and contact the owners of the car first before they auction it?
tootsytoo 2 years ago
So you report your car as stolen, they find it, don't tell you, try to auction it and then bill you for not telling you they have your car? Really.....
Performingyak 2 years ago
Also, lived across the street but never noticed their car at the petrol station prior to it being impounded...
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RedMarbles 2 years ago
No one would bat an eye at this story where I'm from. It's well known that the entire impound system is unfair and broken. I can only assume it's still the way it is because the people most hurt by it are the poor and they don't have good lobbyists.
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#26
There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the f**k.
Ambitious Potato 2 years ago
NOT THE VASE! YOU MAY TAKE MY OTHER BELONGINGS, O FURIOUS AND MIGHTY EARTHQUAKE, BUT NOT MY VASE
Abigail Snyder 2 years ago
YOU CAN TAKE MY FAMILY, JUST PLEASE NOT THE VASE
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Christina Hill 2 years ago
Not me but my dad. Once we had a minor earthquake, just enough to shake the house and and he came running down the hall yelling for me to "get up, there's a moose shaking the house!"
Luna Crow 2 years ago
I once woke up in the hallway of a hotel, trying to get into the room across the hall because I was looking for the bathroom. Fortunately the door to my room hadn't shut all the way behind me, and I was able to re-enter and relocate in time
Veronica Jean 2 years ago
Actually I've been in earthquakes before and in the same way animals know beforehand, you will respond a few seconds beforehand. I woke from a dead sleep, jumped out of a small bunk you had to crawl into (I was doing missions on Nicaragua, it was a very narrow space to crawl in) and found myself standing in the middle of the room staring at my bunkie who had done the same. We were both totally bewildered at our own actions. Then the beds started ripping from the walls and the entire hut shook violently
#27
The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.
#28
Tried to turn the sun off.
Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch.
No light switch, the light was day.
#29
Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you. Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out- "your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Sleep deprivation does wonderfully disastrous things to people
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Go without sleep long enough and you’ll have a psychotic episode. So please get help if you’re having trouble getting a good night’s sleep.
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Luna Crow 2 years ago
From now on this shall be how I address humans whom I'm only talking to because I want to pet their dog
Load More Replies... PastaNoodle Turduckin 2 years ago
“insane thing that i vomited at her” will be a hit single from a smash-metal band someday, mark my words
Luna Crow 2 years ago (edited)
Are you sure it's not already? The song "I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas" is a real thing that exists
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rumple slunkskin 2 years ago
We give out dog treats at work and everyone fawns over the cute dogs... Someone brings up an adorable baby everyone is oohing and awwing over it and I ask if it can have a treat.
JMC5003 2 years ago
Chewing tobacco is disgusting. I can't even imagine how bad ABC tobacco would be. 🤢
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AnonymousApple 2 years ago
"Your dog. Who is he." Is now a thing I'll be saying to every dog owner I meet for the rest of my life.
#30
Let's just say that now whenever I'm looking for my phone, the first thing I check is to see if it's currently in my hands.
Monday 2 years ago
It only happens to me when I talk on my phone....but every long conversation without fail the thought of "huh where's my phone?" will enter my brain.
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Robert Trebor 2 years ago
I realized what I was doing, and I decided I was too tired to go where I had intended to go (needed the maps program to get there). Texted to say I wasn't coming, and went to bed.
Load More Replies... BoredPanther 2 years ago
Lol. Actually, funny story, my mom was talking to a saleswoman on the phone, and the lady told my mom smt to do. My mom spent the next ten minutes looking for her phone which she had pressed to her ear the entire time. Actually, she even told the saleswoman, “Gee, I can’t find my phone. That’s weird” Eventually, the lady says, “Ummmmm, aren’t u talking to me on it?” Instant embarrassment but since I got to watch it unfold, I thought it was funny. True brain fart there
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago
YES! Trying to find my phone to access a website while on the phone to customer service!
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Whenever I’m trying to figure something out, and there’s no one else around but the dog or one of the cats to to talk it out with, I’ll discuss it with one of them. Seems that hearing my voice saying the thoughts that were bouncing around in my brain helps to clarify them, and leads me to a solution. Plus, my cats and dog love all the attention, so a win-win for everyone!
JMC5003 2 years ago
Actually, there's been studies that back you up on this. (Recovering from post concussion syndrome - learning all kinds of neat stuff about neuroplasticity and how the brain functions.)
Load More Replies... RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
I’ve looked for my phone whilst using my phone flashlight, and for my glasses when they’ve been ON MY FACE.
#31
I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
yeah, that would have been ~5.9 million down in that water.
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LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
I've done this. I just stood there and stared at it, praying that if I looked long enough, I could go back in time and undo it.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)
I find it really CRINGE when toilet paper fall on the floor and roll off, which means the outside layers are dirty. 😖
Sarah Esther Valenzuela Guerrero 2 years ago
And probably dry it with a hair dryer 🤔🤣
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#32
Walked into the bathroom at work to pee, and instead of unzipping my fly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt, took it off, then took off my white undershirt as well. Then realized I was standing shirtless at a urinal and wtf'd.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
But that chance is slim :) at least, everyone was there to witness MY wtf zoning out moments (and to laugh about me afterwards)
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
I peed in the women's bathroom in high school once...Thougjt it was odd there were no urinals, but thought maybe they were being replaced...then noticed there were no plumbing connections sticking out of the wall either...Uh oh...finished up, zipped, up and was very thankful no one else was in there and no one saw me enter or exit.
JMC5003 2 years ago
I've done this with the men's - wondered why the hell there were urinals in the women's bathroom.
Load More Replies... BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
Just wait until you go back to elementary school where thre's that one kid that takes off his whole pants, then carries them while he pees.
Panda-riffic 2 years ago
Wasn't this a Seinfeld episode? George had to take off his shirt in order to do a number two? :-)
#33
Put cat food in the coffee maker. 10/10 would not recommend.
all 4 paws 2 years ago
I am curious- did the cat enjoy it?? You did give it to the cat... right???
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Cat probably enjoys it. Human… not so much
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Mombo 2 years ago
My cat likes coffee. He'll lick the rim of my cup and start for a full sip if I don't stop him. I only stop him because he has usually just finished his seafood flavored breakfast.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My cat loved tea and was hard to dissuade if she got to the cup.
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#34
Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified.
BoredPanther 2 years ago
dude. I would’ve been terrified if some weirdo started trying to get into my car
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
That happened to me once. I was sitting in my car outside a shop waiting for my mom. An old man opened the passenger side door, got in, stared at me for a few moments, looked around in the car, opened the door and got out. I think the funniest thing is that not a single word was exchanged 🤣🤣 He was pretty old and harmless looking so I wasn't terrified. Under different circumstances I probably would have been.
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Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago (edited)
Oooooohhh...I thought I was gonna get my butt kicked for something like this. Leaving a store, I walked up to a green minivan to find my key didn't work. Confusion began to set when I noticed that the interior was different...stepped back and saw MY van 2 spaces up. As I'm about to scurry away, the owner of the first van comes up and says "What the hell are you doing!?" After stuttering a bit, I just pointed and said "They're twins!" Owner lady was skeptical, but when she saw they were the exact same, she understood.
Katie Andrews 2 years ago
Friend of mine went out partying, got in what he thought was his car, went home. Next morning, police showed up, and he was super confused. They accused him of grand theft auto. Nope, sure enough, friend's car and other car were same make, same model, same year... AND SAME KEY. Other dude drove friend's car home. They met and swapped.
Stella1234 2 years ago
The is happened to me, husband had a new car and I ran into the shop for something. Came back out and tried the door handle, was getting really annoyed so was telling him not to be a di*k and unlock the door. The car behind me beeped with my husband rolling around laughing. I apologised to the lady in the car who was also laughing, and went and slumped into my seat in the right car.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I came out of a 7-11 once then proceeded to try to open the back passenger door to put the bag in, I started to hear a car horn , as I turned around it was my husband son looking at me, I was mortified, luckily the lady in car had a good laugh
SaraJune 2 years ago
Happened to me twice. First time, I went out from the office and saw our grey peugeot four meters from the hall. Got inside and said Hello, luv to a totally perfect stranger. We stare each other for a long moment totally speechlesses, then we noticed my husband, near our grey Peugeot, TWO meters from the hall, who was waiving to me and at the same time laughing incontrollably. Second time, I was with a white Toyota and had very little hours of sleep in those weeks. Got out to buy a parking meter ticket, went back and found a lady who was doing stuff near the car. Looked at her deadly and silently, she seemed agaze but backed off. So I got inside the car to leave the ticket and thought "when I bought this freshener? ... And the wheel... Has it always had this texture?" And fast I got out from the lady's white Renault parked on the right of my car.
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Or after work, getting into a car exactly like mine (co workers), wondering why it smelled so fresh (I smoke). Took a minute. We did not lock our doors then.
Noah Libitsky 2 years ago
My mom did this while in a grocery store parking lot. So, we have a white car and we are parked next to a white car. My mom went to go put the cart back and I'm in the front seat waiting for her and she comes to my side of the car unexpectedly and opens the car next to me and not our car. The elderly man inside the car was ofc like WTF but then he just laughed because he saw me almost in tears from embarrassment and laughing soooo much but my mom was just horrified but I'm not letting her live that down EVER!!!
StrangeOne 2 years ago
LOL I've done that waiting for someone. These girls pulled up in a very similar looking car, I got in and started talking to them like I knew them. It took me a hot second to realize I knew no one in there and got out. They were so weirded out. I was apologizing profusely as I got out. I was scared they were going to call the cops on me LOL.
Ali H M Salehuddin 2 years ago
Accidentally entered into a stranger's car is not a rare occurance. Most people will understand the mixed-up once they see a similar colored car nearby. My wife and I each drive different cars. Different models with different colors. Imagine one driver's confusion when my wife jumped into his car and then quickly dashed out to another car which was in totally different model and color.
#35
Grabbed milk from the fridge Grabbed a dinner plate from the cupboard Began tilting the gallon jug toward the dish Was about to pour myself a plate of milk when my mom walks by and asks what the f**k I'm doing
meow point1 2 years ago
The hypothesis is that muscle memory can make you do stupid things.
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Full of Giggles 2 years ago
While I was pregnant, my husband caught me putting peanut butter into a glass of milk sitting next to two unused slices of bread.
LynzCatastrophe 2 years ago
I work at the steam table on a ferry. When a customer requests soup, you grab the saucer plate, then put the bowl on it, then put soup into bowl. I managed to realize at the last possible second that I had forgotten the bowl. It was towards the end of the shift, the exhaustion was getting to me. I also filled and emptied the steam wells multiple times that night because I couldn't figure out the "on" position.
#36
Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on.
Purplescales 2 years ago
I knew someone who did that because they didn’t like the feel on their skin of the deodorant
urbibestie 2 years ago
someone downvoted you wtf- anyway countered you out <3
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roses are red 2 years ago
I put on roll on insect repellent instead of deoderamt it stunk and it wasn't very pleasant to smell that all day...couldn't wash it off completely
#37
I was trimming a raw chicken breast and saw a spider in my kitchen. I screamed and immediately threw the chicken breast at the spider and embedded it in the meat. Whoops. Edit: to those asking if I ate the chicken breast afterwards: I forgot to mention that the spider was on the floor.
Ace 2 years ago
If you're going to wash it off anyway then the 5-second rule doesn't need to be invoked at all.
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Cindy Brick 2 years ago
Hey, 30-second rule... wash it off (or dig it out). Chicken meat's expensive.
Purplescales 2 years ago
Congratulations on your aim, pet dogs are fantastic for disposing of non edible chimken breasts, once you rinse off the spider.
nini 2 years ago
My labrador wouldn't have minded the spider, she used to eat them whenever she got a chance (crunch, crunch)
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Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Why are so many people afraid of spiders? Geez. All I do is get it into a jar and take it outside. They deserve a chance at life too.
Patricia Stilwell 2 years ago
I'm not afraid of them as much as I just find them disgusting! All those eyes, too many legs, making zombie food to save for later. And the WEBS! Gross
Load More Replies... #38
I picked up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but I also had the urge to p**s, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet.
Puffy Panda 2 years ago
I’m just happy you didn’t rinse the toothbrush off with… you know what
Joséphine Godwin-Sens 2 years ago
At least you didn’t throw an electric toothbrush that would have been expensive
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Ever woke up and had to stare at the toothbrush holder for like 5 minutes because you forgot which one is yours?
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
Today, I threw my apple watch in the trash thinging it was a kleenix, I can be dumb sometimes.
meow point1 2 years ago
Once, my aunt said that she'd just woken up and had to pee, but she was feeling groggy so she thought that if she took her pants off, the feeling of needing to pee would go away.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
I tried to put toothpaste on the brush handle before slotting the brush head on
Nezuko_Chan 2 years ago
I did smth like this but I wasn’t on auto pilot I just got up from the toilet and pulled my pants up while my toothbrush was in my hand the toothbrush ended up in the toilet
#39
Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.
️ saturn the furry (she/they) 2 years ago (edited)
I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is your floor will be clean, but the bad news is it will only be after you clean it.
AbsintheMinded 2 years ago
This has happened to me about 7 times, where I’m dreaming, then all of a sudden I wake up to myself spitting on my bed. WHY?!?!
Sinead Kenny 2 years ago
Tech you not to spit on the floor in other circumstances maybe? Still v. Funny!
#40
I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner. The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm r******d.
Beck 2 years ago
Ive told this before. A while back my mom picked up her cell phone too call someone. Her home phone rang so she hangs up cell phone too answer home phone on wall in kitchen. Home phone stops ringing. Picks up cell to make call. Home phone rings. Hangs up cell. Home phone stops ringing...she was calling her own home phone and did nit realize it.
Patricia Stilwell 2 years ago
If only you'd have left the stamp off the first time, they might have "returned " the letter to HIM.
ConfusedCub 2 years ago
Oh my. LOL! I actually did this way back when Microsoft Sidewinder joysticks weren't selling so great so they came with a mail in rebate. The rest is history, but definitely was so embarassed my friend thought my head was going to explode.
Doug the Special one 2 years ago
Yeah don't do it. Us retards don't like it when people appropriate our liestyle.
#41
Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved..was just zoning out
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 2 years ago (edited)
Or say hi to your old house. Maybe it's missing you 😉💭
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Luna Crow 2 years ago
Now THAT's a brain glitch. If it was soon after moving it's just normal autopilot
Load More Replies... RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
Moved from Idaho to Texas when I was four. My mom put the GPS for home, and we were about forty mins in before she realized we were driving to Idaho lmao.
Philly Bob 2 years ago (edited)
Did that on a drunk.... I work with bands, I moved out of my old apartment in Bridgeport, PA back to center city Philly. Was in Manayunk for a show. Manayunk is halfway between my old place and my new. Got pissed at my girlfriend (now my wife of 26 years!!!) and peaced out and drove home. Got to my apartment in Bridgeport and realized I don't live there anymore and had to go like 30 miles back home. This is when you realize you need to stop drinking. How I made it back I have no clue. YIKES!
Jacqueline Quackenbush 2 years ago
Congrats On The Step From Girlfriend To Wife!!
Load More Replies... Don't you wish you knew 2 years ago
Been there done that. Also drove to my previous place of employment several times.
#42
Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.
Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Might have used that as an incentive to wean themselves from at least one of them
Load More Replies... Purplescales 2 years ago
It’s the vigorously for me that says this was always going to happen someday.
all 4 paws 2 years ago
imagine a nine year old child looking over and seeing this and being like ????🤯
#43
Turned up at work with the landline phone and my toddler's lunch.
Amber Dowson 2 years ago
Please can people stop downvoting inoffensive comments. People can get banned.
Alex Bailey 2 years ago
I agree about the downvoting but it won't get you banned now. If you notice, no-one is complaining about being banned anymore when before we were getting a lot (you could revisit old comments and update them or make new accounts). BP have a new system of reporting. If a comment is hate speech, harassment, spam, blatant promotion (there may be others...) then you click on the three dots, pick the correct issue, and then BP will deal with it (seems to be in working hours only though - as far as I can tell). Though please only report if it truly is one of those issues - I've seen people 'covering a comment' (awful practice) just because they didn't like it and there was nothing objectively wrong. Not agreeing isn't a good enough reason.
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Chez2202 2 years ago
My toddler’s lunches were amazing. I have a very healthy child and her packed lunch for nursery and primary school always contained at least 6 items, 5 of them being healthy and nutritious and one being a ‘treat’, or unhealthy. That was always the one left in the bag when she came home.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
So.. you.. uhmm.... ripped the phone frkm the wall.. or... just invested in a really long cord.. either way LOL
#44
I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.
Melissa 2 years ago
You swallowed your wedding ring or you jammed it in your eye?
Load More Replies... RandomFrog(He/They️️) 2 years ago
That’s an expensive mistake, especially if you wear daily’s
#45
Painting a picture, take a drink from the paint brush water instead of my coffee.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Done that before. 57000000/10 would not recommend. Especially if you actually *swallowed* it
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
I did that once but realized as I was swallowing and choked, then it came out my nose 😩 I don’t recommend that either
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Jess-a-men 2 years ago
Once downed a shotglass full of dilluted ink because my tired brain saw a shotglass and went "gotta chug that". It was gross. Thing is, I don't even drink alcohol and that was my first time chugging a shotglass full of anything, so I'm not sure why I had that reflex in the first place.
Angie Chiyoko ( She/they) 2 years ago
I did something similar but instead of a drink I dipped my paintbrush in my tea.......
Rougarou Cher 2 years ago (edited)
Totally done this. But I was drinking beer which may explain some of it.
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
Or used an empty soda bottle for an ash tray...THAT didn't go well.
#46
I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good.
BOTW PANDA 2 years ago
My dad told me a story of him putting deodorant on his pizza, not recomended.
Mark Wilson 2 years ago
I did exactly the same recently and got sweet raspberry french fries. Yecch.
JMC5003 2 years ago
I dunno. A pitcher's worth of crystal light in A (1) bowel of ramen would be pretty intense.
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#47
I found myself taking a bath with all my clothes on. Never told anyone. Just went back to sleep.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I once took a shower with my socks still on. Best part was that I didn’t even f*****g notice it until I was done. :/
Kar Red Roses 2 years ago
One of my parents did that to me when I was very small. Ugh, core memory… feeling my socks stick to me felt so gross! Lol
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#48
I am currently at university and live on the fifth floor of a dormitory. All the floors are identical other than the colors of the paint on the wall. One day I was taking the elevator up to the fifth floor and I was sending a text to my mother. When I arrived at my floor a person I had never seen before got on the elevator. I consciously noted that it was weird because I knew everyone on my floor, but I walked to my room and walked in. My living room seemed slightly off and then a girl walked into the living room and casually goes, "what are you doing in my room." That's when I realized I had gotten off on an earlier floor and I just absentmindedly walked into someone else's room. Needless to say I got out of that room really fast after realizing what I had done.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
I think the guy who was killed was just eating ice cream, too. Unfortunate the cop's instinct was to shoot first. Better training might have prevented this tragedy.
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JPotts 2 years ago
I was on the other side. Watching tv when someone walked into my apartment, they apologized and walked out. 10 story building, every floor looked the same.
Sh_alien 2 years ago
I’ve done this, but the door was locked. I just panicked for a few seconds wondering why my key wasn’t working! Almost called my husband to ask him what was up, but noticed the apartment number wasn’t ours. I still wonder if there was someone behind the door who might’ve been freaked out that a psycho was trying to rob their apartment, when really it was just a sleep deprived mom who just dropped her kids off at school.
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I once walked in the women's room while texting. I looked up and saw a woman on a couch and said "is this the?" And she replied "yes." And I said "sorry" and turned and quickly left...
Undercover 2 years ago
I did the same thing at a hotel 🙈 opened the door, saw mortified faces, shut the door quickly and fled the scene at the speed of light
kath morgan 2 years ago
People wandering around like this is one of the mysteries of university life.
Purplescales 2 years ago
Night terrors are made of these. I fear not being able to realize I’ve made a mistake.
#49
Leaving work, I had my hat in one hand and cell phone in the other. Something misfired and I put the cell phone on my head and hat in my pocket. There was a flashing realization that something wasn't right while standing their holding a phone to my bald spot and sporting a look of bewilderment. I wish someone had seen it.
Joséphine Godwin-Sens 2 years ago
My mashed potato brain thought you wrote “cat” instead of hat,sat on my couch for five minutes without realizing
crazy_stupid 2 years ago
Done worse. Came out of a supermarket, and while walking across the car park, thought I was in the car and made an indicating signal with my arm.
#50
it was 2am and way past bedtime, and I'd pulled an all nighter the previous night too. while finally clearing the table I was playing video games on, I decided to put all the water bottles away that had been out for days and days. I tossed the empty ones but my cat was being rambunctious and trying to open the trash can, so I picked her up. I was holding my cat and putting some unfinished water bottles back in the fridge. she struggled free and hopped onto the counter but I was too tired to scold her so I continued grabbing huge amounts (6 or 7 at a time, both hands) of half-full water bottles from the counter and into the fridge I pick them up, I put them in the fridge, I pick them up, i put them in the fridge, I pick her up. I put her in the fridge. I close the fridge. I take two minutes to finish up the dishes. I turn off the kitchen light. I hear faint mewing. I wake up. I open the fridge. she is so cold, but she is okay. now every time I open the f*****g fridge she climbs in. sometimes I don't notice her and she's trapped for a moment until I hear mewing. and I know it's all my fault. (edit to clarify that I don't just start new water bottles halfway thru. it's over days and days)
Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
So you have like a dozen of opened water bottles and some have been open for days? Yuk....
Delta Dawn 2 years ago
My favorite is the part about how now the cat hops into the fridge on her own
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Yeah I'll bet those half used bottles got used after taking up fridge space /s. REUSABLE is the way to go. Get a good sturdy one and you can clip it to you for convenience, keeps it cold longer, lasts forever. So much less waste
JMC5003 2 years ago (edited)
We have about 2 dozen of those big, insulated cups with lids. I tend to like those better because I can use them for juice, too- it's hard to pour from a pitcher into a small bottle top. They keep coffee and cocoa hot, and water and juice cold. We run them through the dishwasher, too, which doesn't always work with reusable bottles.
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Nika Strokappe 2 years ago
And still if it is over days and days you are still opening them while others are halfway thru...
JMC5003 2 years ago
I was expecting that sentence (every time I open the refrigerator now...) to end with "the cat takes off." New hiding place?
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Nathan Shipman 2 years ago
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaaha! Bless the cat's heart but at least they enjoy themselves! That said, are people really focusing on the water bottles over the cat?
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Throw all your half empty water bottles away and drink tap water. Unless there’s something wrong with the water where you live, it is basically the same.
#51
One time my family traveled to Iowa and we stopped at a McDonald's, they were going through the drive thru but I needed to pee so I went inside. I went out the other exit when I was done and there was a red minivan just like ours so I went to my side and opened the door and wasn't paying attention, I sat down, buckled my seat belt and realized it was a bit different but I still did it. I looked around and the van was full of old people just staring at me, they all looked scared. My family was in the van behind laughing their butts off.
Kiss Army 2 years ago
On one family vacation, we stopped at a gas station for fuel, snacks and a bathroom break. Dad went to the bathroom first, then filled the gas tank, got in the car and started pulling out of the gas station, my mom asked him where he was going and he snapped at her that he was tired and heading home if that was okay with her... She responded that it was, but she thought they should take all the kids with them!! He brain farted and didn't notice that I had not returned to the car yet. (There were my parents and 5 of us kids and one bathroom, since I was the last to get to use it, it took me longer to get back to the car.)
Jilltdcatlady 2 years ago
My mom did this in the 80s. After visiting her mom at the hospital and seeing a similar greenihs car in the parking area. Hers was 3 spots down.
#52
Man, where to begin. * Trying to use my car keys to open my apartment door * Putting in my contacts in the morning and instead dumping them in the toilet * Dumping creamer in my water and drinking my coffee black * Trying to find pants to wear only to realize I'm still topless and already wearing pants. Also was wearing the pants I was already wearing. It's a surprise I can even make it out the door in the morning. Oh yeah, I tried to lock my door with a cigarette once. Doesn't work, it turns out.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Now I couldn't help myself to scream laughing! 🤣 I'm sure some neighbors heard me and it's 1:30 am
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I recently clicked my car key fob at my front door expecting it to magically open, lol
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
The classic ‘car-keys-to-house-door’ I did with my friend’s keys…
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
I am a custodian LOTS of keys to go through before you snap out of it
Load More Replies... #53
Walked home from the shops, then remembered that not only had I actually driven but my house keys were still in the car.
#54
When I was in high school I worked at a McDonalds. Most of my time I was on drive thru taking orders. You get the script down and go into auto pilot everyday you get to work. One day I'm taking an order and tell the man his total like always and tell him to pull forward to next window. It takes me about 5 seconds of staring at this man to realize that I am talking directly to him instead of over the headset. It takes about another 5 seconds for my brain to realize that I am working the front counter and there is no window for him to pull ahead to.
#55
Last night I picked up a box of cereal to put it away. I ended up accidentally taking it with me to bed.
#56
Sometimes I will see something out of the corner of my eye and apparently your brain kind of does an autofill and tells you what you're seeing without actually seeing it. So I will be walking my dog and see a bush or something and think to myself for a split second "oh, there's an ostrich across the street". Then my I'm like "wtf is an ostrich doing here?!" and realize it's just a bush.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
I had an aunt who was riding to church with her youngest son and his wife, paying attention to nothing. A semi was getting on the highway and she told her son "Timmy, watch out for the train!" His reply was "momma, on the interstate?"
#57
During a period when I was unemployed for a few months I got into the habit of undoing my trousers before arriving at the bathroom. This lead to a very embarrassing situation I found myself in when I became employed again and just undid my belt and trousers in the hallway while heading to the toilet! Thankfully I realised what I was doing before I exposed myself to my new coworkers.
JMC5003 2 years ago
I started to tell a story but am too sleep deprived to make it interesting. 🙄
Load More Replies... #58
I recently spent 10 minutes on the phone with statefarm trying to pull up my policy getting increasingly annoyed at the fact they couldn't find my policy number. Then I remembered... I have progressive. Never had state farm in my life.
JMC5003 2 years ago (edited)
I did that with my cable company. And I was not happy when I called. I apologized profusely and thankfully always preface complaints to call centers with, "I know you're just doing your job, so my anger isn't directed at you, but..."
Load More Replies... #59
Not something I did, but something I thought. I was mindlessly clearing off my computers desktop,I had just selected a huge batch of files to drag to the recycle bin. As I dragged them over the recycle bin, right after I let go of the mouse I thought, "Oh no, that was a big batch, I hope it doesn't overflow.".....That's when I knew it was quitting time.
#60
My SO and buddy live in the same general area so if I go to one of their houses I take the same route. I sometimes show up at my buddy's door with him looking confused, exclaim f**k once I've realized I didn't mean to go to his house and walk off. Then my SO is upset that I am late to dinner and my friend is confused why I showed up just to say f**k.
Robyn Stephens 2 years ago
Hmmm, she goes to the buddy's place on autopilot. More to this story.
#61
I'm not sure this necessarily counts, but I'm a sleep-eater. In the past 4 months, I've woken up trying to open a can of green beans with my bare hands and drinking from a gallon jug of soy sauce.
Greymom 2 years ago
I have so many questions about why one would need an entire gallon of soy sauce?
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Uhm. Welll.....East-Asians... we... use soy sauce... a LOT. In fact, my family (growing up) always had a gallon-jug. Now... it's not a plastic milk jug thing - it's a metal tin. If anyone reading this suddenly thinks "OMG KIKKOMAN" - yeah, that - you know what's up. That. It's just a staple. It's our version of salt. It took me until my first visit to a non-Asian friend's house to find out that no, not everyone has a ginormo tin-jug of Soy Sauce in the cupboard.
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Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I usually buy stuff in a larger size if it’s way cheaper to do, especially if you use the product frequently
#62
I've thrown laundry detergent in the dryer on multiple occasions. I'm also used to starting the morning coffee for the whole office at 6AM in the morning. One time I was late and autopiloted to the kitchenette. I tossed out a pot of freshly made coffee and started another pot. This wasn't my own autopilot, but the most bizarre has got to be when an ex-girlfriend's dad dropped off my ex's kid at my house. I've only met the dad a handful of times before. He just drove up to my driveway, let the kid out, waved at me and drove off. After an awkward phone call, we ended up getting pizza and hanging out until the ex got off work to pick her son up.
#63
I gave my three year old a pacifier and tried handing my newborn a cup of juice.
JMC5003 2 years ago
New moms in the US should be receiving the post natal help I've read on BP that other countries provide, as well as the maternity leave. But then, our healthcare system sucks.
Dragons Exist 2 years ago (edited)
... How does this pertain to the post?
Load More Replies... #64
I just threw a knife in the garbage and washed some breadcrumbs
edit: also there was this one time I went along posting an askreddit question just like normal and in my absent mindedness I forgot to uncheck "send replies to my inbox" and then it got fourteen thousand comments. whoops.
Giraffe 2 years ago
Once instead of throwing my dirty socks in my hamper, I threw them in the garbage. :-|
kath morgan 2 years ago
I once folded a pizza box to fit it in the recycling, and heard a great snap. I had also folded the knife we had used to slice the pizza.
Deutschland Mädchen 2 years ago
I've thrown away forks, a container, and fabric napkins.... sighh
#65
Got a bag of microwave popcorn and made it halfway up the stairs before realizing I didn't pop it.
#66
I put coffee in my dog's water bowl the other day. It was very early in my defense.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
My friend accidentally spilled coffee on the floor, and her doggo lapped it up. She freaked out, but doggo was ok (since it was a very very tiny amount)
Monday 2 years ago (edited)
We had a dog that loved coffee, she'd beg for leftover coffee whenever we were drinking. She lived a good 12 years and never had any non-breed specific issues so a little bit of coffee probably won't hurt your pet.
Load More Replies... #67
I was working at my computer and I had a cookie next to me. I finished the cookie and immediately took a bite out of the mouse, realised it was hard, sucked on it for a seconds then put it down. Only realised what I had done a few minutes later.
Purplescales 2 years ago
I love the “sucked on it” bit, because we would., it’s what we do to soften a hard cookie.
JMC5003 2 years ago (edited)
I think they meant that they bit into the mouse then sucked on it to soften it because they couldn't bite through, not that they actually broke a piece of the mouse off with their teeth - that might've broken the teeth before the mouse.
Load More Replies... #68
One time when I was a kid (elementary school), I woke up, walked to the kitchen (kinda half out of it), pressed down on the foot pedal of the garbage can to open it up and started peeing into it. My sis shouts out to my mum 'Mom! FarSightXR-20's peeing into the garbage!' I caught myself pretty quickly, but still. Oops.
#69
There were several nights where I was super tired and very hungry, so I would make some Ramen noodles on autopilot, and the next morning I'd find my car keys in the refrigerator. Still not sure why I opened the fridge to make Ramen noodles.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
At least you didn’t have the keys chucked into the toilet… (don’t ask)
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
Ill give you a donut to spill the beans🍩🙃
Load More Replies... 3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
I bought coffee cream a couple weeks ago, and when I opened the fridge the next day I couldn’t find it. I thought I must have forgotten it at work or in the car or something, so I’d just make coffee without cream. Opened the mug cupboard and there’s my cream, right where it had been sitting all night. I grabbed a mug and the warm cream, went to the garbage and threw the mug out. Then, while I was reaching into the garbage can to retrieve the mug, the cream fell off the edge of the counter and burst open. It was a great way to start the day.
JMC5003 2 years ago
When it rains it pours, especially when you're tired.
Load More Replies... #70
Put tomatoes and lettuce in the microwave after making a sandwich...and then turn the microwave on...
#71
Washed my hand with toothpaste and my teeth with soap. I didn't even have a wtf moment until it was too late.
BoredPanther 2 years ago
oh that could be so hazardous for your health if u swallowed any of the soap
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
Apparently it's non-toxic. Had it done several times as a kid in the 70's, lol
Load More Replies... HeatherDPanda 2 years ago
My husband once squirted diaper rash medicine from a tube onto his toothbrush.... actually brushed most of his teeth thinking the new toothpaste was disgusting before I realized what he did!!
#72
I worked at a sleep away summer camp for a few years and one summer I was put in the Tent of Death. It got it's name because there was a huge dropoff behind the tent platform because it was on a hill and they say a kid once died falling off. It used be like 5-6 feet, but they filled it in a while ago, so now it's only like 3-4. One of my first nights in the Tent of Death I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. Normally I would walk out the back, minding the drop off, then go an acceptable distance and pee. In my sleep induced grogginess I simply walked off the back, as if there was no drop off, and was reminded by the jolting pain going through my body that there was, in fact, a drop off.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Or put guardrails around the platform. Geez. What kind of camp is this?
Load More Replies... #73
cought myself sauteeing fries once, and the sprouts were in the fryer.
#74
"[Work place], [work department], this is Pokeeyejai; how can I help you?" And then I realize I'm answering my personal cell phone... at home.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I have accidentally given my cell phone number to work contacts to call me at when leaving voicemails before. Multiple times. 👎
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I remember, back in the day (in my early twenties), working a full time job and moonlighting at a part time job—-both of which were jobs where I had to answer the phone with the company greeting, so of course those greetings became automatic when I picked up the phone at work. After working both jobs all week, so 12 hours working per day plus commuting time between locations, I finally got to my weekend—-I learned early to match the days off from the part time job to those of my full time job—-and I was exhausted. One of my friends called me at about 7 or 8 the next morning. I answered the phone with 1) the greeting from my full time job, then 2) apologized and gave them the greeting from my part time job. Then they reminded me they called my home number to talk to me. That’s when I finally woke up and realized what I did.
Oerff On Tour 2 years ago
I usually answer the telemarketers with the standardized basic script: "Good *time of day*, this is *first name last name*, how can I help you? "
#75
I'm a barista and I caught myself I trying to pour coffee into a cup sleeve, not attached to a cup.
#76
Drove my car to the student union to pick up a package, parked with my hazards on. After I got the package I got food and proceeded to walk back to my room and play GTA for 2 hours before getting a call from University police saying to move my car
#77
I wrote like 3 sentences of an email today without even realizing I was writing. They were completely not what I meant or needed to say. edit - people want to know what I said. very uninteresting, just like "this item has a lead time of about 2 weeks, if you have any questions or concerns please do not hesitate to contact us blah blah blah", when really I needed to give the guy some specific information about a part that we had in stock, so lead times didn't apply in the least.
PastaNoodle Turduckin 2 years ago
I have sold automotive parts and service for years and this happens far more often than i think most folks realize
#78
I had a little piece of clear plastic I ripped off my binder in my hand I was going to throw away. In the hallway though, I see the dude I have a crush on and he waves. I panicked, for some reason I decide that he cannot see I have this plastic under any circumstances. So you know what I do? I put it in my mouth and wave back. Success! Until, that is, I start choking on it. I had to run to the bathroom and drink from the sink in order to not die.
Grace Smith 2 years ago
Are you, by any chance, the quirky main character of a nickelodeon show?
#79
Years ago I worked at an amusement park during the summer between college, and this one time I worked an eighteen hour shift because we were retrofitting a gift shop. So around hour sixteen I'm practically a zombie, and I go to take a p**s break and slam a Coke. This store wasn't my normal work spot in the park, but the employee break area was identical to mine. I go into the restroom, take a p**s in a stall, not even registering that there are no urinals. As I'm washing my hands another toilet flushes and a woman walks out, clears her throat and just stands there looking at me with her hands on her hips. The building was identical except they switched the restrooms around. I just stammered "sorry" and ran away.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
Oml my brain registered this as in you washed your hands in the toilet... i was like WHAT.. and was very concerned when u didnt return to wash lol
David Paterson 2 years ago
Once I came very close to washing my hands in the toilet. Caught myself just in time.
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 2 years ago
I did that at the other end of the building at work, the layout was mirrored, I wasn't looking at the logo... Not till I thought "funny little handbasins.. aaarrrghhh!"
#80
I usually would stop at a gas station in the morning to get coffee. On more than one occasion I would open the little flavor cups and pour them in the trash instead of my coffee cup. Sometimes I would do this to 3 or 4 cups before I realize what I'm doing.
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Kim Kermes 2 years ago
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
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Ryan-James O'Driscoll 2 years ago
I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
AVGucky 2 years ago
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
Load More Replies...
BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
Load More Replies...
Devil's Advocate 2 years ago
Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
Gwyn 2 years ago
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
Load More Replies...
Brechje Geutjes 2 years ago
I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
AVGucky 2 years ago (edited)
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Julie Ann Al buzbeba 2 years ago
Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
Alex Martin 2 years ago
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
Kim Kermes 2 years ago
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
Load More Replies... Ryan-James O'Driscoll 2 years ago
I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
AVGucky 2 years ago
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
Load More Replies... BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
AVGucky 2 years ago
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
Load More Replies... Devil's Advocate 2 years ago
Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
Gwyn 2 years ago
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
Load More Replies... Brechje Geutjes 2 years ago
I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
AVGucky 2 years ago (edited)
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Julie Ann Al buzbeba 2 years ago
Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
Alex Martin 2 years ago
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
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