When you feel pain in your body, you go to see a doctor, and when you feel pain in your soul, you should go and see a therapist. But still, to this day, in some societies, people seeing therapists are looked down upon and not everyone is ready to face that judgement. Usually emotional pain is easier to ignore than physical pain, so when comparing the two of them, going to a therapist doesn’t seem that necessary.
There are other reasons why one wouldn’t choose going to therapy, so for now, these people can use internet resources to better their lives. Twitter user @uhprome has done just that and asked people to share their therapists’ advice so she doesn’t have to go.
Image credits: uhprome
People were gladly sharing the lessons they had learnt in therapy, mostly about self-love and just general happiness. So Bored Panda sifted through the thread and picked some advice that might be useful. But remember that this does not replace a licensed therapist and if you’re struggling, it is best to seek out professional help.
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The Twitter thread has almost 2k responses and more than 400k likes. Apparently, @uhprome asked a question that a lot of people wanted to know the answer to.
It could be that some people can’t afford to go to a therapist, they don’t have time because of work, or because they are afraid of judgement. Whatever the reason is, people on Twitter really appreciated this thread and that made it seen by even more people.
This isn’t the first time that advice from therapists has been discussed in a Twitter thread. In another article by Bored Panda, we made a list of tweets in which people shared their best received advice so that people could get free therapy in a way. Of course, all of these pieces of advice can’t replace a session with a real human that is trained in that field, but it’s better than nothing and maybe it can make you care more about yourself, feel better, or see some situations in a different light.
Yes you feel like you want to die, but actually its not because you don't want to live at all but don't want THIS life, just can't see the difference clearly enough right now to change your life and let go things, like you said.
You have no idea how close this you wrote hit home (sorry about my english, not my native language). I sometimes feel like there is no reason to keep going and actually it could be that there is a part of me that finally has to change. Thank you so much, both to you and to the person who wrote this point.
Load More Replies...Yes, but being someone with several attempts. It's not always just that simple. -You- yourself can do everything you can to do better, be better, get better, but if you have an actual chemical unbalance it is not always so black and white. I have rapid cycling Bi polar and it is an endless loop of hell, there are days-weeks very rarely months I feel okay. The same goes for either over the top no sleep, running around a mile a minute, with no impulse control, thinking the rules of life don't apply to me and I am special... Or the AT the bottom of a cold dark well looking up wet walls at a light you just don't even care to reach. So it is not always that simple. I have been trying for 15 years to find the right combo of meds that work for me. While also trying regular therapy, trauma therapy, I have tried reki, DBT, & CBT. I have forgiven myself, I have forgiven my abusers, during my EMDR sessions I was made to relive my trauma in a safe way, and "refile it with a diffrent emotion (surprisingly effective)" I have let go of the past an looked towards the future with hope ... The dosage has never been right when it comes to my medications and doctors are always just guessing with what they do. I PUT IN AS MUCH EFFORT AS I CAN BUT I AM CHEMICALLY UNALANCED! there are nights... Days... Weeks.. I stay in my closet. Sometimes people just get tired. Really really tired
Yep, the stuff like the above is not very helpful to a good many people who are/have been 'suicide adjacent'. I also really hate 'suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem'. It's patronising and reductive.
Load More Replies...Right? It's not even about 'death'. Just an end to the agony.
Load More Replies...Here lies the problem with these posts even though they are well intentioned.... not all advice suits everyone and therapy is not a one size fits all solution. If this advice is helpful to some people then great, but if it doesn't fit your circumstances or current situation it doesn't make it bad advice, it just means it's not right for you, right now. Tweets from random people on the internet are no substitute for getting professional help. If it helps, great, but it's no substitute for real therapy especially when dealing with suicidal thoughts or feelings. Please seek medical help if you are struggling like this.
While I agree with this in theory, the issue for the clinically depressed is that it's impossible to just "put it to rest."
Oh! On that note there have actually been cases of legal euthanasia on the grounds of unbearable suffering. There are countries that you can go to (not naming names) that you can file for legal euthanasia, you see a therapist multiple times in a year. At the end of that year if the situation has gotten no better you are approved. So not all suicidal issues can be boiled down to "let it go." I am REALLY not saying this is right for anyone, I am just proving a point, I absolutely advise anyone with severe mental health issues to fight, and fight and fight, qnd exhaust all Av... But it is exactly that sometimes resources become exhausted.
Ah. Thank you for this bit of wisdom. However I'm not sure if this is helpful for me, I hope it's helpful for others.I think suicidal thoughts sometimes, but I never actually convince myself to come through with it. It's just the thought that bugs me. Always.
Unfortunately, suicide ideation is real, is part of many types of mental health issues, and cannot be dismissed with vapid metaphors such as this. If you feel that you want to end it all, call professional help immediately!! National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish. 800-273-8255
I had someone told that I'm the last person would attempt it because I'm too scared to die.. and love life... That moment, I felt like I should do it so the person can see it. Ah well...
I thought they were going to write that the other person needs to die. I know I often find myself saying "she can't live forever."
Thank you. I've been having suicidal thoughts and I feel like I'm the on with the problem.
What's always forgotten is that suicidal ideation often comes with/after homicidal ideation. That it can be a relief to those who no longer, at least, feel the homicidal ideation. But to those in the absolute depth of those feelings they should consider ECT. It's quick, safe and painless. It rapidly changes mood and it saves lives every day. It is NOT some brutal torture method, it's less traumatic than a trip to the dentist for a filling. Suicide is the use of a permanent solution to a temporary problem. ANYTHING is better than that..
Lastly all I wanna say is all of this is compounded by the state of mental health care in America. FYI it BLOWS. You ask for help only to be treated with stigmata, qnd contempt. The Doctors that are around, have q God complex and refuse to let you have any input on your own care plan, even when you have already been dealing with the s**t for years and probably know more than they do about your own problems.
A survey conducted by the American Psychiatric Association revealed that Gen Z were more likely to have received treatment or gone to therapy (37%) compared to Millennials (35%), Gen X’ers (26%), Baby Boomers (22%), and the Silent Generation (15%).
It could be that the modern world causes more stress to young adults, so that is why they are more likely to seek professional help, but also because awareness of mental issues has grown and people have started to understand that they are not to be ignored. Furthermore, shining more light on mental health has made going to therapy less stigmatized and judged.
Hopefully this thread helped someone and they found some tips that will be useful. Sometimes all we need is just the right words at the right moment and our life can change.
Don't forget to upvote the advice that you thought was the best and if you have anything to add to this list, comment what principles you live by that make you a happier and healthier person.
I long ago forbid myself to use the following words for myself: "damaged" or "broken". No. Scarred, sure. PTSD, absolutely. But if I am here, and functioning? I'm actually doing pretty well. Also, not everyone heals the same rate, so .... don't try to fit into some paradigm of "should be". We're not all gonna react the same to identical experiences. Not even identical twins always do.
Fake it till you make it. And enjoy it when you've made it. I've been a teacher for 20+ years > the first five-six years I was absolutely faking it. But there comes a moment (if you haven't given up) when you are proficient. And heck, that feels goooooood!
It took me years to learn this just because I didn’t want to seem confrontational. This would result in letting bad feelings eat me up inside. I’m glad I finally learned how to properly express myself, it’s so much healthier.
Sometimes you can't just do stuff that makes you happy because you have so much work :')
I have had so much problem with this over the years. People refusing to respect my decision, being stalked and being flat out ignored by exes who wouldn't accept they were indeed an ex. It's a terrible position to find yourself in and it's like being unable to escape a prison. People can delude themselves that they didn't hear it (you ending things) you didn't mean it, you're just being dramatic, we can work on it - think of the kids or that you 'aren't well' The last one is made worse if you've ever had depression or other mental health issue. They will use it to ignore your feelings and gaslight you..
To quote Frank Herbert (Dune): " I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
So true! I heard something like this lately. Like it's not your job (ie solely your responsibility) to make someone's life happy, nor them yours. We must make ourselves happy. NB I don't mean we shouldn't try to cheer someone up or support them I just mean we cannot be totally dependent on someone for our sole source of happiness..
If you don't have a good relationship with yourself, you won't be happy in a relationship with someone else
I've lost count of the number of times I've spoken up, just to he disregarded. Can't seem to shake that cycle at all.
Once you acknowledge the fact that you are (hopefully) not the same person you were 5, 10 or 20 years ago, you will stop expecting anyone else to be, and be glad that you have learned something about yourself and life instead of lamenting the "loss" of the dream of whatever or whoever that was. People and experiences show up in your live for a reason. Learn from them.
Yes, being able to let go of anyone who doesn't nourish you is empowering. Life is just a process of letting go...of people and things.
Very much so. This is why I get very irked by the whole attitude of: "Well, this person wasn't bad to *ME*... so I'm okay with them" Oh really? That guy is a serial cheater and thinks of respect in a relationship as a joke. You stand by that? Because by continuing to be their friend just because "Well, they didn't hurt ME" is you stating "I'm selfish and I'm perfectly okay with everyone else being screwed as long as it's not me. So I don't care about you either."
i heard the 4 method. Breath in for 4 seconds, hold it for 4 seconds, breath out but stretch it into 4 seconds, and don't breath for 4 seconds. Do this four times.
I would change "sleep early" into "sleep enough". I am a night owl, going to bed before 11pm is a sure way to sleep only one cycle or two. Midnight or later is much better.
This sounds nice on the surface, but it's exactly what women are NOT supposed to do in order to stay safe.
If you are jealous of someone because they have something that you don't, remember that they feel happiness, sadness, anger, helplessness and everything else you feel too. 9 times put of 10 they are insecure too.
Some of the best advice I was told, “Fun is not optional.” Sounded like insanity at the time — I didn’t think I deserved to have fun, let alone being alive. But over time it’s sunk in — whomever you are — you deserve to have joy in your life.
My best advice my therapist gave me, always make your bed when you wake up. You start your day by completing something and it leads to you being able to keep that mindset.
It's also something small but positive to go back to, even if you end up having a day that wasn't so good.
Load More Replies...Al-Anon had the best advice. LOVE FROM A SAFE DISTANCE. We can't fix 'em. We can't change 'em. We can't be near 'em, either.
Just because there are others who have been through worse, doesn't mean you haven't been through things too.
If you can; go to a therapist (obviously only if you think you need one). Online tips like this can be helpful but they’re not even close to replacing a trained professional.
Record yourself, using a tape recorder or app on phone. Just like you were talking to someone. When your state of mind shifts, either good or bad, listen to it again. It helps clarify your feelings and as we sound different to ourselves, you are more willing to provide a solution.
Every sect offers free counseling, even if you are not of denomination.
Load More Replies...Best advice I was ever told by a therapist was "self care is not selfish". I.e. putting yourself first and looking after yourself isn't a selfish thing, it's a necessary thing. It's taken me a long time to get to grips with this one, and I still don't 100% do it all the time. But I'm no longer scared to look after me and I what I want in life. My own mantra for a while was "you can't have a baby if you're dead" - so I've always longed for a baby and family of my own (and I'm now just a few weeks from having my baby), but battled with suicidal thoughts in the past. That little reminder helped! I'm in a far better place in life now, in a healthier relationship, I know my worth, and my mental health has improved no end.
Yesterday, I told my mother (who survived three cancers): "Stop telling yourself that what you went through isn't a big deal or isn't that bad because other people have it worse than you did. It is a big thing, and telling yourself it's not is not healthy. It was bad, it was terrible, and you're better now. You went through it and you survived."
I dunno. Most of this "therapist advice" sounds just like the happy and meaningless phrases you find into those candies.
If you are jealous of someone because they have something that you don't, remember that they feel happiness, sadness, anger, helplessness and everything else you feel too. 9 times put of 10 they are insecure too.
Some of the best advice I was told, “Fun is not optional.” Sounded like insanity at the time — I didn’t think I deserved to have fun, let alone being alive. But over time it’s sunk in — whomever you are — you deserve to have joy in your life.
My best advice my therapist gave me, always make your bed when you wake up. You start your day by completing something and it leads to you being able to keep that mindset.
It's also something small but positive to go back to, even if you end up having a day that wasn't so good.
Load More Replies...Al-Anon had the best advice. LOVE FROM A SAFE DISTANCE. We can't fix 'em. We can't change 'em. We can't be near 'em, either.
Just because there are others who have been through worse, doesn't mean you haven't been through things too.
If you can; go to a therapist (obviously only if you think you need one). Online tips like this can be helpful but they’re not even close to replacing a trained professional.
Record yourself, using a tape recorder or app on phone. Just like you were talking to someone. When your state of mind shifts, either good or bad, listen to it again. It helps clarify your feelings and as we sound different to ourselves, you are more willing to provide a solution.
Every sect offers free counseling, even if you are not of denomination.
Load More Replies...Best advice I was ever told by a therapist was "self care is not selfish". I.e. putting yourself first and looking after yourself isn't a selfish thing, it's a necessary thing. It's taken me a long time to get to grips with this one, and I still don't 100% do it all the time. But I'm no longer scared to look after me and I what I want in life. My own mantra for a while was "you can't have a baby if you're dead" - so I've always longed for a baby and family of my own (and I'm now just a few weeks from having my baby), but battled with suicidal thoughts in the past. That little reminder helped! I'm in a far better place in life now, in a healthier relationship, I know my worth, and my mental health has improved no end.
Yesterday, I told my mother (who survived three cancers): "Stop telling yourself that what you went through isn't a big deal or isn't that bad because other people have it worse than you did. It is a big thing, and telling yourself it's not is not healthy. It was bad, it was terrible, and you're better now. You went through it and you survived."
I dunno. Most of this "therapist advice" sounds just like the happy and meaningless phrases you find into those candies.