15 People Are Mocking This Toxic, Stupid, And Arrogant ‘Bean Dad’
A dad in the US has been dubbed one of the first “online villains” of 2021 after, on January 2nd, he posted an infamous Twitter thread. In the now-deleted thread, he went into the details of teaching his hungry daughter to use the can opener.
The dad seemed to be genuinely proud of his valuable lesson, calling it an “allegory of triumph” and “a parenting theater in some ways.” After all, after 6 hours of trial and error, and foggy brain, his 9-year-old proudly popped the can of beans open.
But people on Twitter, though, were less than impressed with dad’s schooling methods. Many condemned the incident, claiming it was an example of very “poor” parenting, while others said it was plain unnecessary, and the rest pointed out the whole story could have been made up.
A handful, though, stood up to defend him, but the heated debate on “bean dad’s” education was already on and it seems like everyone has something to add to it. So let’s see what the whole “Bean Dad” saga that’s just all over the internet these days is all about.
The “Bean Dad” saga started on January 2nd after this dad tweeted a lengthy thread on teaching his 9-year-old daughter to open a can of beans
In response to the backlash online, the infamous dad turned to Twitter on January 3 again and stated: “Somehow my story about teaching my daughter how to work out how to use a can opener and overcome her frustration got over onto a version of Twitter where I’m being accused of child abuse. It’s astonishing. My kid is fine, everybody.”
This tweet was followed by another one: “The only thing people are touchier about than parenting style is dog ownership.”The “Bean Dad” has since deleted his Twitter account, sparking even more comments on how he wasn’t that proud of his “parenting theater” after all.
But people on Twitter were less than impressed by the dad’s thread and the heated debate was officially on
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To find out what people online really think of the “Bean Dad” saga and how it became one of the most-talked about subjects in the past days, Bored Panda reached out to Twitter user Edward Stockwell, who shared this meme as a response to the infamous thread.
Edward believes that the thread caused such a stir on Twitter because at its highest level, “it’s an absolutely absurd story involving a can of beans and an utterly pretentious dad.” His personal opinion on the matter, as he puts it, is that the dad “should have helped her open the damn beans after like fifteen minutes instead of going on a weird monologue about can openers to his nine-year-old daughter for six hours.”
Having said that, Edward added that he totally gets his insistence on raising a self-reliant child. Yet the lesson may have caused the very opposite result. “I think what that whole lesson taught her is that it’s not okay to ask for help and that her dad thinks lowly of her. Those probably aren’t his intentions, but that’s likely what’s getting taken away from all of this.”
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Edward agreed that parenting per se is a controversial topic, as we’ve all seen in the replies. “There are plenty of folks who agree with his tactics. Now, does child psychology show that their children are going to grow up distrusting others and likely eventually stop talking to their parents after their first session with a therapist? That’s a whole other can of worms.”
Of course, that doesn’t mean “because of this one incident, he should have his life ruined.” Edward thought the story “was a weird thing to brag about and moved on with my day.”
Yet, “attacking him for this will only drive him more and more into fringe thinking, which will do some real harm,” he said and added that he hopes this was just a one-off incident that Bean Dad thought was hilarious and important to share.
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Meanwhile, other users have already dug up the dad’s older tweets, whose screenshots began circulating on social media. According to Know Your Meme, they were extremely problematic.
But the dad’s co-worker, with whom he hosts a podcast, tried to defend him on racial, homophobic, and sexist allegations. The co-worker called him “a loving and attentive dad” and stated: “There’s no axis where any anti-Semitic screenshot represents any actual opinion I’ve ever heard from him.”
On Sunday, though, the podcast for which the dad has been working announced it would no longer be using his music.
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Share on FacebookYou can raise self reliant kids without frustrating them to the point of tears. It sounds like that puzzle was more important than actually teaching his daughter. Furthermore - maybe...JUST MAYBE he should get off his ass and make sure there's food in the house instead of doing a jigsaw puzzle. He has a job. Even when I was at my absolute poorest - surviving on $50 a month and $200 in food stamps, I made damn sure my son had food before anything else. At one point, I didn't eat for 3 days so he would have enough to eat. This dad is an absolute joke.
I've been hungry a few times myself, luckily not when I had kids. But it did put life in perspective for me. I hoped that I would never have that happen again. But all of what you said, spot on. How about teaching her to use the can opener, not expect a 9 year old to figure out how the mechanism works. Jeez, what a jerk.
Load More Replies...I'm less concerned about the fact that she didn't get food for six hours, and more about the fact that she was frustrated to tears. having to wait a handful of hours for food is just life, but causing a kid enough mental and emotional stress that she cries is pretty much abusive.
Really, man? This is how you grab your little slice of power in the world, by keeping your kid hungry? You could have SHOWN her how to use the can opener, so she would know how to do it herself next time. Parenting fail. He was too lazy to get off his butt and help his own kid. What a loser.
In order for something to be a teachable moment there should be some actual teaching. God I hope he's not in any kind of profession where you need to train others. "But I've never flown a plane before!" "You have the joystick, now figure it out."
...And that, kids, is how the Medici Military school of flying came to be.
Load More Replies...I hate this so much. I’m not going to share my exact age cause... this is the internet, but I’m in the early years of high school. From the age of about 10 I’ve been pretty much self sufficient. My mom worked a lot so I was home alone quite a bit. Not once did my mother let me go hungry, and even despite working almost every day, all day, she never made me learn anything on my own. If I needed to figure something out she would let me try on my own first but she would always be there to help. I will forever be grateful that she has helped me learn how to take care of myself, because clearly not everyone has this. This dad really bothers me because this is not how you teach children and this will probably affect her negatively throughout most of her development if this is how he teachers her.
Sounds like you have a great mom. And good for you for seeing and respecting her hard work. I wish you both the best.
Load More Replies...I’m wondering if he exaggerated or made this up. A can opener wouldn’t take 6 hours to figure out. Why didn’t she Google it? Where was the mom? Why were the beans the only thing to eat in the house?
Why are you looking for mom here? Maybe she was working, and trusted that her oaf of a husband would actually feed their child. Also, this child is 9, not 13, which is why it took her so long to figure out, while she was hungry, which also affects cognitive performance. A can opener is not an obvious thing to figure out if you haven't worked one before, not to a young child. And maybe beans were the only thing to eat because that is all that is in the cupboard.
Load More Replies...Unbelievable. Yes, there may be times in her life she'll have to go hungry, but she's a growing 9 y/o. She needs to eat and to deprive her of food for 6 hours to make her figure something out herself, that clearly, was too complex for her right then, I'd count that as abuse. Not cool man.
Kids don’t learn when their frustrated to tears, much less frustrated and hungry. If this happened to me I’d take those six hours and use it on learning how to steal food from under my fathers nose. Grab and apple or something that doesn’t need a can opener. Teaching can come after I’m fed.
unless "bean dad's" daughter has a learning disability, there's no good reason it took her six hours to figure out how to work a can-opener; there aren't that many possible ways one can interact with a can; his biggest failure is not teaching her several years earlier; by the time I was her age, my mom had taught me to make cheese omelets
It could be a really crappy can opener. I struggle with mine constantly because I'm too cheap/broke to buy a new one. Some parents don't let their kids cook either until they are older. I was 12 when I was allowed to use the stove top due to my mom being anxious and my parents not being home very often.
Load More Replies...I was with him until he said she was so frustrated she started to cry. He went from teaching moment to pure power struggle over a situation he himself created. It's not like she was being a whiney brat. She was trying! And when she tried to tell him it was too hard, she's met with a low-key threat - you're not eating until you do this. As an adult, we know this is just ensuring she'll do it and he's probably not serious. As a 9 year old, you don't know that. Dad doesn't appear to be joking. He's obviously not giving you lunch. What about dinner? Will he really not let you eat again? And it's just plain mean to let a 9 year old think they won't be fed because of a personal failure. That took it way too far. If he wanted her to know that badly, his best bet was by showing her how it works, how to line it up to open it, starting it for her, then saying, "Here, you do the rest!"
Maybe he took it a bit far, but I can see my dad in this role. I think you all miss the point of what he's teaching. She will forever look at problems from a different angle and will love (and hate) this memory in the years to come. In the end she will mostly gain from this experience.
My parents are WAY better than this. They show me how to do things so I can do them in the future, and encourage me when I get stuck. This guy is just a big, fat jerk.
What's unbelievable is how you all believe that some one needs to reveal the whole story in their social media. The tweets and the dad are ridiculous
There is a way to teach tour child skills without this buffoonary. if it was an attempt to be funny, funny he was not. Not because of the action, but his delivery. 6 hours and foregoing food is stupid. If he gave her food and she was the one who opted to try for 6 hours, that is different.
Crazy narcissistic father. The way he described the hole story. Maybe he is divorced and lonely. That's why so much focus on what is not important.
Truth. I hope she remembers this moment when it's time to choose his nursing home.
Load More Replies...Definitely the asshole. That's straight up f*****g child abuse, and then going on social media and bragging about how you made your kid cry? Even worse. I sincerely hope this was a fake and that he doesn't actually treat his kid like this on a regular basis.
Clearly he was to busy with his jigsaw and saw his child's frustration as a teachable moment. What concerns me even more is the fact he memorized everything to report on Twitter. I think this man would be a hoot at parties.
Both of my kids have been cooking basic meals since they were about 8, and more advanced meals as they got older. The key to success, walking them through it and teaching them as we go. This is not teaching your kid a skill, like a parent should, this is teaching the kid that you are unreliable.
Maybe you just open the can a little, slowly, so she can see, and then guide her hands? Then when she knows what to do, have her finish opening the can by herself? This isn't a teaching moment, because you have to be actually doing the teaching.
I have to confess that I didn't read all of the twitters, I thought I could teach his daughter how to use a can opener in less of the time he took to write them.
This is a total joke.an idiot. A coward why.just help the kid instead of doing a damn jigsaw
Frustrated to tears with kitchen gadgets was a normal occurrence for me as a kid. Im left handed. My parents aren't. Everyone was crying teaching me how to hold a pencil.
I have a personal hatred for can openers. It took me a long time before I realized they are meant to be used by right-handed people. This father is stupid and cruel. Keeping a 9 year old hungry for teaching her a lesson (and not even a good one) is not an accepted method in XXI century. She is not a dog or an ape, just show her! He should not be surprised when 20 years from now he ends up in a retirement home without any visits.
I scrolled past most of it, I was too mad to read the rest. He is a big ignorant piece of crap. Maybe someday he will be on hooked up to an oxygen tank and I hope it takes his daughter 6 hours to figure how to turn the valve on to release the oxygen.
Lmao off at the ppls responses, he could have simply showed her how to open it and not wasted 6 hours, if he really wanted to have learn how to use it. It doesn't take 6 hours. Especially if she's hungry. What a strange dude.
maybe don't neglect your daughter and force her to do something you havent taught her how to do because you want to focus on a jigsaw puzzle. these are the kind of things my dad does. and don't blame it on lack of intelligence when she doesn't understand how to use it because SHE'S NEVER BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO USE A CAN OPENER . dont do this with your kids.
If he really wanted her to be self reliant he could have instructed her on how to use it and talked her through it without actually doing it for her, or even used it as a moment to teach her how to look things up on the internet (I’m sure there’s a WikiHow to open a can). Then she would have actually accomplished the task and learned something without this Jack a**ery. She just learned to not bother to ask him for help again as he literally provided her none. That’s gunna backfire down the road.
Can opener is easy to use not gonna lie show your kids how to use can openers so you guys dont be like John Roderick AKA bean dad
This “bean dad” is crazy i know he was trying to help her open the can but if it’s 6 HOURS just to open the can then WHY CAN THIS “BEAN DAD” JUST OPEN THE CAN FOR HER IT’S NOT LIKE SHE HAS TO DO EVERYTHING! SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THESE DAYS.
I think he was right that this was a teachable moment. Most people attain little in life because they fear they are less capable than the goals they set. He stayed with her. They discussed the problem and considered options. He helped her question assumptions. He could have given her food but then the triumph of opening the can wouldn't resonate. Many parents show. This dimishes kids trust of their own capabilites. Many parents set the goal and walk away. This makes the kid feel abandoned. Some parents stay and get frustrated. This makes the child scared to fail (and therefore, try). He struck a good middle ground. Will the doomsday racism driving this parenting style tip into abuse? Possibly, but from these tweets alone, he did a good job. I've been frustrated to the point of tears or rage as an adult. I calmed myself down and came back. Imagine learning that you can do that at 9. Also, a 9 year old child is not as intelligent as a dog.
a funny story: I was using a can opener my parents had for years. but it was an old type with no wheels, i dont know how to described it. you needed a bit of force to use it but it was efficient. now i got married and moved out of parents house. i realised we do not have a can opener, went to shop and bought that one with wheels thinking i will figure out how it worked. i didnt. i asked my husband how to use it. he said look i will show you exactly how. you take the can opener, put it back to the drawer and then you use a knife. i still dont know how to use the damn can opener i bought. if i ever find that type of a can opener my parents have i will buy that one instead
Yeah...I mean, even in the days where we used tin openers frequently (ring pulls were virtually non existent!) My parents SHOWED me how to use it the first time and then if i got stuck again, tried to talk me through it. If they had handed me a tin opener and said 'figure out the mechanics' I would have starved because my brain doesn't seem to work that way!
Oh, my old enemy - the can opener. I grew up thinking I was stupid and clumsy for not being able to use it. Everyone was showing me, then yelling at me for not succeeding. Guess what, I realized I am neither stupid nor clumsy - I am just ... left-handed. And all my grown-up relatives were ignorant and inpatient. So, be careful with your stupid teaching moments.
It sounds like the only thing his 9 years old daughter learned is not to ask dad for help.
I am kinda leaning on the possibility that this is purely made up or at least strongly embellished story. It reads more like a fiction.
“Listen here, we are NOT eating until, you open that can” “SIX HOURS” “My daughter, (9)” Child, abuse... She cried because she was hungry, She really should hate you,Bean Dad. She should, and I hate you too,
He wasn't abusing his kid or being an a**e. He just bought into the idea that self teaching is a beautiful gift that leads to more powerful recall. Everything else flows from that. He likely exageratted six hours or his daughter only sporadically tried different approaches (he hints at this). Of cause she cant even get it to work eith the right technique as she has damaged the can. As for why he is boasting, its because he thinks this discovery learning is such a good idea. Thats what we should be ridiculing. Havnt seen his other tweets but tweet mining to ruin someone does make me feel queasy.
Day 1: interweb outraged that dad doesn't feed daughter Day 2: interweb outrage cancels dad, thereby stopping his ability to feed daughter
It's equivalent of giving preschool children textbook and telling them to firgure out how to read.
I consider myself fairly intelligent, but there's no way I would've been able to figure out a can opener without observing someone else. Then again, my parents actually taught me basic life skills, so this was not an issue.
Yo, when the apocalypse actually starts, we'll raid this guy's bunker first, right?
Where was the child's mother in all this?? As nd what does she have to say about all this?
Come on? Is everyone serious? He wrote a totally over the top description of the following situation. Nine year old is bored, goes to dad to complain about anything, chooses "hunger". Which in a modern household is not true. Peckish, sure, but hungry? But again, boredom was what she experienced. Dad wasn't having it and responded like he didn't know. Sure get some food. There's a can in the cupboard. I mean, who offers beans other than if you're not actually helping. And then the good lords of canned food offered a great opportunity, a puzzle. He just exaggerated every bit and made up the rest. She prob found a box of cereal right after the first attempt and the can opener was probably figured out at some point. Seriously comparing a 9yo to a dog or a toddler just shows how wired everyone is. People... Come on.
I am so thankful I had the parents I did! They took every opportunity to show me how to do things, answer questions and actually parented! Having kids is an enormous responsibility and it seems many people think the kids just grow up! At 9 even if he embellished the story the fact she can't use a can opener is the parents fault. Trained helplessness! Children younger than her were working (new paper sales, shoe shining etc) many years ago to contribute to the family. Many children then as young as 6 were shooting game with a 22 or sling shots to provide food for their families. Now we have so many demanding kids growing into giant children.
I don’t think making a kid open a can of beans is a good idea because you can get seriously hurt and this is not something you should be doing this can of beans probably is very important but who cares me actually wow people are getting really strict about this can opening thing is tiring.
I mean really while the kid was trying to open the can for 6 hours wow such a joke
Load More Replies...Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to be parents. If you care more about a ‘teachable moment’ than your child going hungry, maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities.
A few hours of hunger is not "going hungry". This girl will face many times in her life when she'll need to delay a meal to get a task done, this shows her she can do it. I he made her go days without food that'd be another story, but an afternoon? The human race wouldn't have survived if we couldn't tolerate a few hours without food.
Load More Replies...i don't see the problem with this... he was getting her to figure out the can opener... my dad would have done something like this too
Oh really? He made you go without food for 6 hours when you were already hungry? That's quite the father...
Load More Replies...Maybe one day she will be able to use that can opener to pry open your dark, cold, and useless heart.
Personally I think he did it right. Kids need to learn basic tasks to survive. How would doing it for her turn out? Come to my house and see my 25 year old step son who doesn't work sleeps all day and plays video games all night. Then ask where I went wrong... I did everything for him... Not he is a lazy POS that does NOTHING. Not even takes out the trash.
Historically, humans cooperate and teach each other. It's an aberration to understand the world like the father does. Teach cooperation, not individualism and competition.
Load More Replies...Abusive man why do that John Roderick apologizes for being a bean dad this is not a real thing yea not the beans time i hate people like this
Really John Roderick as the bean dad apologizes for bean dad yea not the time for the dang beans
well done dad...lesson learned by child, hungry for a few hours, but not starving or dead. the child has food, ad the father would feed the child eventually. look at all the 9 year old that carry water or pick crops for mom and dad and have skills the snowflakes of today at the age of 20 most dont know how to open a can of beans let alone know how to care for themselves....well done and keep up the great work.
The point was that she was taught problem solving and figuring things out for herself. It's not about learning to use a can opener. But I guess this will be down voted since it is a view that goes against the majority view and the general notion that this dad is a horrible person (doesn't matter if we don't know him).
I don’t think it’s a true story. One reason is the language he uses, the other reason is I really don’t believe it takes 9-yo kid six hours to figure out how to use a can opener. Sure, they can be complicated but not THAT much, especially not for a 9-yo kid. It’d be more believable if it was the dad who were struggling for 6 h to figure out a common house tool bc adults don’t learn as quickly as children. 🤣
There are tremendous advantages to raising kids that are keen problem solvers. I get that many commenters here don't think that such challenges are healthy for kids, but i have to disagree. The parent's job is not just to make life easy for their kids. My Dad gave me lots of such challenges, and I am a much better person because of it. Also, many people go six hours without eating and survive.
Its called tough love my parents did it to me and I am thankful I don't need anyone to hold my hand I am very self reliant. Children have to learn to be tough especially the way the world is going. I mean get real people you worry about this a parent who actually takes care of their child meanwhile 100s of thousands of kids are sex traffic every year and some a basically slaves with forced labor focus on them not this
This is no big deal tongue-in-cheek humor. As I kid I cried at the drop of an f-ing hat. If every time my parents caused me to cry was abuse, they would have been locked up. Kids cry because they have to clean their room, because they have to do their homework, because they can't go to the park, because something is difficult. As adults, we can control our motions better and have better outlets and perspective. A kid crying because she is having to figure out something difficult is not a major issue. He was patient and had faith that she was up to the task. She was and she was proud when she figured it out. In this menial amount of time, one 6 hour time span of one day of her whole life, she learned that she had the skill to figure out something difficult on her own. I'm surprised at how many people are upset by this. It's like people who would be upset that a child is crying in a store because a parent won't let their child have everything that they want. Kids cry, kids learn, parents can teach like this without it being considered abuse
It's an example of teaching that humans beings can't cooperated and exchange informationpsince humanity only reached this far because through history we aways taught other people how to do things
Load More Replies...You do realise she was hungry at the start of the six hours? So she probably had breakfast, got hungry around noon - let‘s say 12 like in your example - and then got food at 6 pm. Then she went about 10 - 12 hours without food, not six.
Load More Replies...The only thing he taught her is that she can't go to dad for help.
Load More Replies...You can raise self reliant kids without frustrating them to the point of tears. It sounds like that puzzle was more important than actually teaching his daughter. Furthermore - maybe...JUST MAYBE he should get off his ass and make sure there's food in the house instead of doing a jigsaw puzzle. He has a job. Even when I was at my absolute poorest - surviving on $50 a month and $200 in food stamps, I made damn sure my son had food before anything else. At one point, I didn't eat for 3 days so he would have enough to eat. This dad is an absolute joke.
I've been hungry a few times myself, luckily not when I had kids. But it did put life in perspective for me. I hoped that I would never have that happen again. But all of what you said, spot on. How about teaching her to use the can opener, not expect a 9 year old to figure out how the mechanism works. Jeez, what a jerk.
Load More Replies...I'm less concerned about the fact that she didn't get food for six hours, and more about the fact that she was frustrated to tears. having to wait a handful of hours for food is just life, but causing a kid enough mental and emotional stress that she cries is pretty much abusive.
Really, man? This is how you grab your little slice of power in the world, by keeping your kid hungry? You could have SHOWN her how to use the can opener, so she would know how to do it herself next time. Parenting fail. He was too lazy to get off his butt and help his own kid. What a loser.
In order for something to be a teachable moment there should be some actual teaching. God I hope he's not in any kind of profession where you need to train others. "But I've never flown a plane before!" "You have the joystick, now figure it out."
...And that, kids, is how the Medici Military school of flying came to be.
Load More Replies...I hate this so much. I’m not going to share my exact age cause... this is the internet, but I’m in the early years of high school. From the age of about 10 I’ve been pretty much self sufficient. My mom worked a lot so I was home alone quite a bit. Not once did my mother let me go hungry, and even despite working almost every day, all day, she never made me learn anything on my own. If I needed to figure something out she would let me try on my own first but she would always be there to help. I will forever be grateful that she has helped me learn how to take care of myself, because clearly not everyone has this. This dad really bothers me because this is not how you teach children and this will probably affect her negatively throughout most of her development if this is how he teachers her.
Sounds like you have a great mom. And good for you for seeing and respecting her hard work. I wish you both the best.
Load More Replies...I’m wondering if he exaggerated or made this up. A can opener wouldn’t take 6 hours to figure out. Why didn’t she Google it? Where was the mom? Why were the beans the only thing to eat in the house?
Why are you looking for mom here? Maybe she was working, and trusted that her oaf of a husband would actually feed their child. Also, this child is 9, not 13, which is why it took her so long to figure out, while she was hungry, which also affects cognitive performance. A can opener is not an obvious thing to figure out if you haven't worked one before, not to a young child. And maybe beans were the only thing to eat because that is all that is in the cupboard.
Load More Replies...Unbelievable. Yes, there may be times in her life she'll have to go hungry, but she's a growing 9 y/o. She needs to eat and to deprive her of food for 6 hours to make her figure something out herself, that clearly, was too complex for her right then, I'd count that as abuse. Not cool man.
Kids don’t learn when their frustrated to tears, much less frustrated and hungry. If this happened to me I’d take those six hours and use it on learning how to steal food from under my fathers nose. Grab and apple or something that doesn’t need a can opener. Teaching can come after I’m fed.
unless "bean dad's" daughter has a learning disability, there's no good reason it took her six hours to figure out how to work a can-opener; there aren't that many possible ways one can interact with a can; his biggest failure is not teaching her several years earlier; by the time I was her age, my mom had taught me to make cheese omelets
It could be a really crappy can opener. I struggle with mine constantly because I'm too cheap/broke to buy a new one. Some parents don't let their kids cook either until they are older. I was 12 when I was allowed to use the stove top due to my mom being anxious and my parents not being home very often.
Load More Replies...I was with him until he said she was so frustrated she started to cry. He went from teaching moment to pure power struggle over a situation he himself created. It's not like she was being a whiney brat. She was trying! And when she tried to tell him it was too hard, she's met with a low-key threat - you're not eating until you do this. As an adult, we know this is just ensuring she'll do it and he's probably not serious. As a 9 year old, you don't know that. Dad doesn't appear to be joking. He's obviously not giving you lunch. What about dinner? Will he really not let you eat again? And it's just plain mean to let a 9 year old think they won't be fed because of a personal failure. That took it way too far. If he wanted her to know that badly, his best bet was by showing her how it works, how to line it up to open it, starting it for her, then saying, "Here, you do the rest!"
Maybe he took it a bit far, but I can see my dad in this role. I think you all miss the point of what he's teaching. She will forever look at problems from a different angle and will love (and hate) this memory in the years to come. In the end she will mostly gain from this experience.
My parents are WAY better than this. They show me how to do things so I can do them in the future, and encourage me when I get stuck. This guy is just a big, fat jerk.
What's unbelievable is how you all believe that some one needs to reveal the whole story in their social media. The tweets and the dad are ridiculous
There is a way to teach tour child skills without this buffoonary. if it was an attempt to be funny, funny he was not. Not because of the action, but his delivery. 6 hours and foregoing food is stupid. If he gave her food and she was the one who opted to try for 6 hours, that is different.
Crazy narcissistic father. The way he described the hole story. Maybe he is divorced and lonely. That's why so much focus on what is not important.
Truth. I hope she remembers this moment when it's time to choose his nursing home.
Load More Replies...Definitely the asshole. That's straight up f*****g child abuse, and then going on social media and bragging about how you made your kid cry? Even worse. I sincerely hope this was a fake and that he doesn't actually treat his kid like this on a regular basis.
Clearly he was to busy with his jigsaw and saw his child's frustration as a teachable moment. What concerns me even more is the fact he memorized everything to report on Twitter. I think this man would be a hoot at parties.
Both of my kids have been cooking basic meals since they were about 8, and more advanced meals as they got older. The key to success, walking them through it and teaching them as we go. This is not teaching your kid a skill, like a parent should, this is teaching the kid that you are unreliable.
Maybe you just open the can a little, slowly, so she can see, and then guide her hands? Then when she knows what to do, have her finish opening the can by herself? This isn't a teaching moment, because you have to be actually doing the teaching.
I have to confess that I didn't read all of the twitters, I thought I could teach his daughter how to use a can opener in less of the time he took to write them.
This is a total joke.an idiot. A coward why.just help the kid instead of doing a damn jigsaw
Frustrated to tears with kitchen gadgets was a normal occurrence for me as a kid. Im left handed. My parents aren't. Everyone was crying teaching me how to hold a pencil.
I have a personal hatred for can openers. It took me a long time before I realized they are meant to be used by right-handed people. This father is stupid and cruel. Keeping a 9 year old hungry for teaching her a lesson (and not even a good one) is not an accepted method in XXI century. She is not a dog or an ape, just show her! He should not be surprised when 20 years from now he ends up in a retirement home without any visits.
I scrolled past most of it, I was too mad to read the rest. He is a big ignorant piece of crap. Maybe someday he will be on hooked up to an oxygen tank and I hope it takes his daughter 6 hours to figure how to turn the valve on to release the oxygen.
Lmao off at the ppls responses, he could have simply showed her how to open it and not wasted 6 hours, if he really wanted to have learn how to use it. It doesn't take 6 hours. Especially if she's hungry. What a strange dude.
maybe don't neglect your daughter and force her to do something you havent taught her how to do because you want to focus on a jigsaw puzzle. these are the kind of things my dad does. and don't blame it on lack of intelligence when she doesn't understand how to use it because SHE'S NEVER BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO USE A CAN OPENER . dont do this with your kids.
If he really wanted her to be self reliant he could have instructed her on how to use it and talked her through it without actually doing it for her, or even used it as a moment to teach her how to look things up on the internet (I’m sure there’s a WikiHow to open a can). Then she would have actually accomplished the task and learned something without this Jack a**ery. She just learned to not bother to ask him for help again as he literally provided her none. That’s gunna backfire down the road.
Can opener is easy to use not gonna lie show your kids how to use can openers so you guys dont be like John Roderick AKA bean dad
This “bean dad” is crazy i know he was trying to help her open the can but if it’s 6 HOURS just to open the can then WHY CAN THIS “BEAN DAD” JUST OPEN THE CAN FOR HER IT’S NOT LIKE SHE HAS TO DO EVERYTHING! SERIOUSLY PEOPLE THESE DAYS.
I think he was right that this was a teachable moment. Most people attain little in life because they fear they are less capable than the goals they set. He stayed with her. They discussed the problem and considered options. He helped her question assumptions. He could have given her food but then the triumph of opening the can wouldn't resonate. Many parents show. This dimishes kids trust of their own capabilites. Many parents set the goal and walk away. This makes the kid feel abandoned. Some parents stay and get frustrated. This makes the child scared to fail (and therefore, try). He struck a good middle ground. Will the doomsday racism driving this parenting style tip into abuse? Possibly, but from these tweets alone, he did a good job. I've been frustrated to the point of tears or rage as an adult. I calmed myself down and came back. Imagine learning that you can do that at 9. Also, a 9 year old child is not as intelligent as a dog.
a funny story: I was using a can opener my parents had for years. but it was an old type with no wheels, i dont know how to described it. you needed a bit of force to use it but it was efficient. now i got married and moved out of parents house. i realised we do not have a can opener, went to shop and bought that one with wheels thinking i will figure out how it worked. i didnt. i asked my husband how to use it. he said look i will show you exactly how. you take the can opener, put it back to the drawer and then you use a knife. i still dont know how to use the damn can opener i bought. if i ever find that type of a can opener my parents have i will buy that one instead
Yeah...I mean, even in the days where we used tin openers frequently (ring pulls were virtually non existent!) My parents SHOWED me how to use it the first time and then if i got stuck again, tried to talk me through it. If they had handed me a tin opener and said 'figure out the mechanics' I would have starved because my brain doesn't seem to work that way!
Oh, my old enemy - the can opener. I grew up thinking I was stupid and clumsy for not being able to use it. Everyone was showing me, then yelling at me for not succeeding. Guess what, I realized I am neither stupid nor clumsy - I am just ... left-handed. And all my grown-up relatives were ignorant and inpatient. So, be careful with your stupid teaching moments.
It sounds like the only thing his 9 years old daughter learned is not to ask dad for help.
I am kinda leaning on the possibility that this is purely made up or at least strongly embellished story. It reads more like a fiction.
“Listen here, we are NOT eating until, you open that can” “SIX HOURS” “My daughter, (9)” Child, abuse... She cried because she was hungry, She really should hate you,Bean Dad. She should, and I hate you too,
He wasn't abusing his kid or being an a**e. He just bought into the idea that self teaching is a beautiful gift that leads to more powerful recall. Everything else flows from that. He likely exageratted six hours or his daughter only sporadically tried different approaches (he hints at this). Of cause she cant even get it to work eith the right technique as she has damaged the can. As for why he is boasting, its because he thinks this discovery learning is such a good idea. Thats what we should be ridiculing. Havnt seen his other tweets but tweet mining to ruin someone does make me feel queasy.
Day 1: interweb outraged that dad doesn't feed daughter Day 2: interweb outrage cancels dad, thereby stopping his ability to feed daughter
It's equivalent of giving preschool children textbook and telling them to firgure out how to read.
I consider myself fairly intelligent, but there's no way I would've been able to figure out a can opener without observing someone else. Then again, my parents actually taught me basic life skills, so this was not an issue.
Yo, when the apocalypse actually starts, we'll raid this guy's bunker first, right?
Where was the child's mother in all this?? As nd what does she have to say about all this?
Come on? Is everyone serious? He wrote a totally over the top description of the following situation. Nine year old is bored, goes to dad to complain about anything, chooses "hunger". Which in a modern household is not true. Peckish, sure, but hungry? But again, boredom was what she experienced. Dad wasn't having it and responded like he didn't know. Sure get some food. There's a can in the cupboard. I mean, who offers beans other than if you're not actually helping. And then the good lords of canned food offered a great opportunity, a puzzle. He just exaggerated every bit and made up the rest. She prob found a box of cereal right after the first attempt and the can opener was probably figured out at some point. Seriously comparing a 9yo to a dog or a toddler just shows how wired everyone is. People... Come on.
I am so thankful I had the parents I did! They took every opportunity to show me how to do things, answer questions and actually parented! Having kids is an enormous responsibility and it seems many people think the kids just grow up! At 9 even if he embellished the story the fact she can't use a can opener is the parents fault. Trained helplessness! Children younger than her were working (new paper sales, shoe shining etc) many years ago to contribute to the family. Many children then as young as 6 were shooting game with a 22 or sling shots to provide food for their families. Now we have so many demanding kids growing into giant children.
I don’t think making a kid open a can of beans is a good idea because you can get seriously hurt and this is not something you should be doing this can of beans probably is very important but who cares me actually wow people are getting really strict about this can opening thing is tiring.
I mean really while the kid was trying to open the can for 6 hours wow such a joke
Load More Replies...Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to be parents. If you care more about a ‘teachable moment’ than your child going hungry, maybe it’s time to rethink your priorities.
A few hours of hunger is not "going hungry". This girl will face many times in her life when she'll need to delay a meal to get a task done, this shows her she can do it. I he made her go days without food that'd be another story, but an afternoon? The human race wouldn't have survived if we couldn't tolerate a few hours without food.
Load More Replies...i don't see the problem with this... he was getting her to figure out the can opener... my dad would have done something like this too
Oh really? He made you go without food for 6 hours when you were already hungry? That's quite the father...
Load More Replies...Maybe one day she will be able to use that can opener to pry open your dark, cold, and useless heart.
Personally I think he did it right. Kids need to learn basic tasks to survive. How would doing it for her turn out? Come to my house and see my 25 year old step son who doesn't work sleeps all day and plays video games all night. Then ask where I went wrong... I did everything for him... Not he is a lazy POS that does NOTHING. Not even takes out the trash.
Historically, humans cooperate and teach each other. It's an aberration to understand the world like the father does. Teach cooperation, not individualism and competition.
Load More Replies...Abusive man why do that John Roderick apologizes for being a bean dad this is not a real thing yea not the beans time i hate people like this
Really John Roderick as the bean dad apologizes for bean dad yea not the time for the dang beans
well done dad...lesson learned by child, hungry for a few hours, but not starving or dead. the child has food, ad the father would feed the child eventually. look at all the 9 year old that carry water or pick crops for mom and dad and have skills the snowflakes of today at the age of 20 most dont know how to open a can of beans let alone know how to care for themselves....well done and keep up the great work.
The point was that she was taught problem solving and figuring things out for herself. It's not about learning to use a can opener. But I guess this will be down voted since it is a view that goes against the majority view and the general notion that this dad is a horrible person (doesn't matter if we don't know him).
I don’t think it’s a true story. One reason is the language he uses, the other reason is I really don’t believe it takes 9-yo kid six hours to figure out how to use a can opener. Sure, they can be complicated but not THAT much, especially not for a 9-yo kid. It’d be more believable if it was the dad who were struggling for 6 h to figure out a common house tool bc adults don’t learn as quickly as children. 🤣
There are tremendous advantages to raising kids that are keen problem solvers. I get that many commenters here don't think that such challenges are healthy for kids, but i have to disagree. The parent's job is not just to make life easy for their kids. My Dad gave me lots of such challenges, and I am a much better person because of it. Also, many people go six hours without eating and survive.
Its called tough love my parents did it to me and I am thankful I don't need anyone to hold my hand I am very self reliant. Children have to learn to be tough especially the way the world is going. I mean get real people you worry about this a parent who actually takes care of their child meanwhile 100s of thousands of kids are sex traffic every year and some a basically slaves with forced labor focus on them not this
This is no big deal tongue-in-cheek humor. As I kid I cried at the drop of an f-ing hat. If every time my parents caused me to cry was abuse, they would have been locked up. Kids cry because they have to clean their room, because they have to do their homework, because they can't go to the park, because something is difficult. As adults, we can control our motions better and have better outlets and perspective. A kid crying because she is having to figure out something difficult is not a major issue. He was patient and had faith that she was up to the task. She was and she was proud when she figured it out. In this menial amount of time, one 6 hour time span of one day of her whole life, she learned that she had the skill to figure out something difficult on her own. I'm surprised at how many people are upset by this. It's like people who would be upset that a child is crying in a store because a parent won't let their child have everything that they want. Kids cry, kids learn, parents can teach like this without it being considered abuse
It's an example of teaching that humans beings can't cooperated and exchange informationpsince humanity only reached this far because through history we aways taught other people how to do things
Load More Replies...You do realise she was hungry at the start of the six hours? So she probably had breakfast, got hungry around noon - let‘s say 12 like in your example - and then got food at 6 pm. Then she went about 10 - 12 hours without food, not six.
Load More Replies...The only thing he taught her is that she can't go to dad for help.
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