People Are Sharing Parenting Trends They Disagree With And Here Are 30 Of The Most Hated Ones
The practices and norms around raising kids change over time, with each generation of parents redefining the classic role. These shifts take place due to a number of factors, including new research, technologies, or the desire to "do it differently than our old folks did." But that doesn't mean that all of them are automatically better than the older ways.
So when Reddit user The_WhiteMantis asked everyone on the platform to share the parenting trends that they wholeheartedly disagree with, people immediately started sharing their opinions. From making your children the butt of your jokes to never telling them "no," below you will find the submissions that received the most attention.
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The trend of oversharing kids' lives on social media. It's like turning your child's childhood into a reality TV show.
We contacted The_WhiteMantis, and the Redditor explained that they came up with the idea for their post thanks to the radio.
"The question popped into my head after I heard a conversation on the radio about the usage of phones by minors," The_WhiteMantis told Bored Panda.
"I did not have time to read all the comments due to the huge size of the discussion, however, I did notice some recurring themes: 1) providing devices to minors, 2) parents living vicariously through their children, and 3) being overprotective of them."
Never saying no to your child.
they have to know that they can't get everything. adulthood is gonna hit them hard
I’ve seen a small yet growing trend of homeschooled kids where the parents are completely neglectful of actual education and basically let the kid do whatever they want. They don’t follow standardised curriculum for the sake of “letting kids be kids.” If your kid can barely read at 10 years old, you’re setting them up to fail as an adult.
I hate when people dress up their baby girls in outfits a woman should be wearing. Like there are little girls outfits that are adorable and meant for a little girl. But no little girl should be wearing a body suit and ripped jeans or a crop top and low rise bellbottoms, it gives me the creeps.
It's so weird to me, because you KNOW those clothes are super expensive and the kids are going to grow out of it in a month or so
Moms and dads often do not follow a specific parenting style. In the United States, for instance, a nationally representative survey of parents with children younger than 18 conducted by the Pew Research Center revealed that when asked about their parenting habits, including whether they tend to be too strict or too lenient, excessively praise or criticize their children, be overprotective or grant too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not enough, a considerable percentage of respondents ranging from 34% to 53% reported that neither option accurately describes their parenting style.
Additionally, almost the same number of parents are either trying to raise their children in a similar way as they were raised (43%) or differently (44%).
Not teaching children proper manners/behavior
Please and thank you go a long a*s way in this life.
Also not helping kids with conversation skills. Conversation usually goes back and forth. With no phones involved.
Do gender reveals count? Lighting things on fire, blowing things up and potentially injuring a family member all in an display of obsession over the genitals of your fetus is cringy at best and a small scale natural disaster at worst.
I'm always willing for a gender to be revealed. But instead, it's always those same two genders that everyone already knows about!
Making your child's entire identity revolve around their extracurricular activities. Let them be kids, not robotic machines for your bragging rights.
Also don't force your unfinished dreams on your kids. They are separate individuals not your extension.
I guess this is kinda specific, but my son is autistic, so it applies to me. I hate the “Autism Mom” thing. The t-shirts, the unsolicited “advocacy”…it seems like an attention seeking thing to me. My kid has autism, ADHD, and anxiety, and it takes approximately 5 seconds of being around him to notice. I will fight for him always, of course, but I won’t use him as a badge either. I won’t hide his diagnosis from him, but I won’t let him use it as an excuse either.
And some of those shirts get borderline threatening too…”If you want to know fear, fight an autism mama bear”…or something like that.
Talking about the main factors that make parenting trends popular (regardless of their effectiveness), the author of the post believes the internet is arguably the main culprit.
"I think most parents get their ideas on how to raise kids from social media. It seems like a significant proportion of the user base on various platforms is over the age of 30, so it makes sense," The_WhiteMantis said.
Pranking your kids or playing jokes on them. Not all kids understand it’s a joke and it really upsets them. I hate seeing videos of parents thinking it’s ok to throw things at their kids or make them do dumb stuff for amusement. Like the cheese challenge thing. Throwing food at babies….awful behavior.
Not exactly a trend but: having like 5+ kids and forcing the older ones to basically raise the little ones. i know that sometimes the parents are not well informed about contraception, but it’s still not the kids’ problem! it’s one thing to have them help once in a while, but anything that stops them from living their own lives to raise YOUR kids is just ridiculous.
for example: not being able to take an extracurricular activity because they have to be home watching their siblings.
Confusing gentle parenting with permissive parenting.
You can be both gentle and authoritative. Authoritative is *not* authoritarian; it is the role of a parent to provide structure and boundaries for their children while also allowing them to feel their emotions and deal with the ups and downs of being a kid. Go ahead and soothe your children when they are upset and give them a safe space to calm down but you do not have to cushion their world for them in order to avert a meltdown.
According to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children's Health, most parents of young children (80%) indeed say they use social media to discuss parenting topics.
Looking deeper, more mothers than fathers use social media to look for parenting advice or information (84% vs 69%) or share their experiences (63% vs 42%).
Never telling your kid no. You’re creating a monster that is going to ruin your life some day. Boundaries and consequences are essential to any kid- well human even- being successful in the world we live in.
Not just your life, but the lives of everyone else they will ever come into contact with. It will not be pretty when their future boss tells your now grown kid no they cannot do some harebrained c**p idea they come up with, and they proceed to throw a full red in the face meltdown tantrum because of it. Boss will just fire their a*s on the spot. You want to end up supporting your kid for the rest of your lives after they burn through every job they ever got with their spoiled brat behavior? Fine. Then never tell them no. But if you ever want to have your kid be a gainfully employed, self-supporting adult, then tell them no when you don't want them to do, say, have, take, touch, eat, drink, walk over---you name it---something that will end up hurting them, you, and anyone or anything else. Teach them how to live in the real world. That's your job as a parent.
“Gentle parenting” b***h hold your kid at the doctor if they need a test done. “I don’t think she wants to do this test/use this medicine” B***H SHE NEEDS IT. (I work in a doctors office).
I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like gentle parenting to me. More like neglecting the inconvenient duties of being a parent.
Yeah, that's permissive or anti-authoritarian parenting. Gentle parenting is saying no and acknowledging the child's anger or sadness about it and helping them get through it
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Gentle parenting means meeting your kid in the middle. It’s not a free for all. It means not yelling, screaming, or hitting your kid. It’s means having an age appropriate discussion when they do something wrong or other age appropriate punishments.
It also means validating your child's feelings when they have to do something they don't want (get a shot, be left with a sitter). It's a good way to parent.
Load More Replies... I think this one is a double edged sword. I would never let my child refuse necessary medical care. I am the parent and it is my responsibility to ensure they receive the care they need. I will absolutely hold them if it is necessary. BUT I think there is a lot to be said about informed consent and bodily autonomy. An adult would never be forced to submit to a procedure without knowing what is happening and why. And yet I see medical professionals expect this with children.
My son had a small infection in his foreskin when he was little (apparently normal when they reach the self discovery age). We went to the GP. I told my son beforehand that the GP would need to look. But instead of approaching him gently and asking to see and promising to be gently, the GP said nothing to my kid. He rather abruptly pulled my sons pants down and poked at his penis without warning, explaining or asking. He caused unnecessary pain and my son was distraught and scared. We have an obligation to explain to them what is being done, why it is being done and how it is going to help. We can explain in age appropriate ways to secure consent. My children have always been offered autonomy. In return, they trust me and never refused medical care. That is gentle parenting. It is not allowing your child to dictate. It is giving your child the tools and knowledge to express bodily autonomy, make age appropriate decisions and trust their caregivers - both parents and medical.
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I also worked in a doctor's office. An 11 year old threw a fit over the meningitis vaccine, and the mom said "he says he doesn't want it, I won't make him get it". Lady, please. YOU'RE the parent.
Meningitis can cause lifelong problems. Ridiculous to not have the child get the vaccine.
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Recently my son needed catch up immunisations, that were missed due to Covid. The person on the phone said that they can deal with autistic children. As he needed 2 jabs, we decided it was best that they were done simultaneously otherwise they would only get one done as he would put up a hell of a fight.. So I had to hold his forearms and distract him while both nurses did the jabs into both arms. He screamed for 2 mins then calmed down.
While I know what they mean and agree with the sentiment, this is not the correct definition of gentle parenting.
I work in health care where we regularly need to help children stay still and there is absolutely middle ground between the poster and there subjects. You can support children in understanding what needs to be done and why. And you certainly shouldn't be holding them down against there will. There is a wonderful website called the meg foundation for pain with lots of resources for preparing children for medical procedures and lots of resources for health care workers to do there job better.
My son throws such a fit that he becomes a danger to the staff. I kept trying, but they said they could not get blood from him. Luckily, there was another test that gave us answers.
I never understood why children are scared of the doctor or dentist, if you're healthy and you take care of your body and teeth you should have nothing to worry about. Of there are problems with your teeth, likely your fault. You could've avoided that
I was basically born with terrible teeth -- runs in the family, and growing up as a kid where there was no fluoridation made it worse. So tell me, Silly, what should I and my parents have done differently? And what would you say to a parent with a child just diagnosed with cancer? Oh, you could have avoided that? Your post is repulsive.
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Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places.
Same with toys. Why kids toys “need” to be loud is beyond me. Why do they have three volume settings but they’re all too dang loud? The Leapfrog reader books are a good example. It’s a wonder parents of toddlers and young children don’t have hearing damage from how loud their kid are and how loud their kids toys are.
Experts aren't surprised.
"I think this data reflects what we've seen over the past few years," said Titania Jordan, the chief parenting officer of Bark, a parental control app that allows parents to manage their kids’ digital worlds.
"Parents are reaching out more and more for advice on social media for three main reasons: Convenience, new technology, and different ways of parenting."
Parents not having even minimal standards for their children’s behavior, and expecting other people to be alright with it. I really don’t care that he is having “big feelings.” He is lying in the aisle of the supermarket, screaming at the top of his lungs, having a full blown tantrum because you said no. Grow a pair.
While I do agree with the sentiment, this is not a good example. The child is screaming, because their parent is setting up standards. Standards like "I won't buy you anthing you fancy". And toddlers can't deal with those kind of emotions in a different way. They only learn it through experience. And what exactly are you supposed to do with a child to immediately stop a tantrum (if you don't want to cave in every time)?
Giving them "unique" names.
Driving your kids 200m to school.
Yes right, for safety reasons. And then driving like crazy and endangering other kids on the school ground...Where I work as a teacher this becomes more and more of a problem. Kids aged 13-16 with only short commutes, lots of bike lanes and great public transport. Wouldn't be necessary. I do understand it depends on the schools location and country. But here this just isn't necessary...and driving together with bikes or tag along in the bus would be good from a social aspect as well...
However, Jordan has concerns. "It’s not all roses. There is a ton of misinformation out there, and just because another parent is talking about something, it doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable."
And this thread proves it.
I’m gonna go in a little bit of a different direction: parents not watching their own behavior when it comes to screen time, frustration tolerance, discipline, etc.
You’ve got to dig deep and figure out how to role model the behaviors you want your kids to do. If you are on your phone 24/7 and throw a fit every time the slightest thing inconveniences you you aren’t gonna have a good time with your kids doing anything different.
I disagree with ALL trends. Parenting is not supposed to be trendy. Figure out what works for you and your family and do that, but don’t expect everyone else to do the same.
Taking your kids to a restaurant and putting screens in their hands. How are kids going to learn how to behave in polite society if you don’t train them how to behave in social situations?
The lack of discipline and manners taught to the kids. I get soft parenting, I'm on board with no hitting and all of the abuse but kids still need to learn boundaries about what they could and couldn't do.
Went to a friend's plc and her 4 yr old starts screaming at me, freaking tf out, I'm like what's going on? My friend says " she wants your scarf. She won't stop screaming until you give it to her." Sorry..what??
Being overweight and allowing your children to follow the same path of obesity.
(Yes I get sometimes it's genetics, but genetics is not why appx 1/3 of Americans are obese and why the rest of the world isnt).
The sad beige mom trend. If you want to make the rest of your home sad and beige, that's up to you. But my God! Please let your child's nursery have some colour for their own development and well-being.
Child vlogging, its a bit weird tbh and I feel like things are gonna go to s**t for the parents when the kids become adults.
Weird orthorexic parents who make their entire personality their kids' hundreds of allergies . Gluten free, dairy free, nut free , meat free . EVERYTHING FREE! I’m sorry, I do not believe them .
I have celiac disease, I cannot understand why anyone would go gluten-free if they didn't have to. I miss nice bread so much!
Lawnmower parenting. Not only do they hover over their kids, they mow down anyone who does something they don't like. They're the "you can't wear that shirt where my kids might see it" and "you'd better allow my child into this 21+ establishment but not show them anything inappropriate" type.
Lawnmower? Thats new! Makes a lot of sense sadly :/ poor kids
Those “boy moms” that are grossly obsessed with their baby or toddler boys. Ew, f**k out of here with that emotional incest s**t.
Not (sensibly) challenging their comfort zone. How are they supposed to grow self-confidence when they're never challenged?
Can i add? Vice versa challenging it too much and making the kid uncomfortable or not accepting their no because 'their a kid'... kids need to learn to step out of their comfort zone yes but they also need to learn that if they are in an uncomfortable situation they are free to decline.
Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
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Late toilet training is my pet peeve. Kids going to preschool in diapers.
My cousin just did not seem to care about it, I think they just straight up told him he couldn't go to kindergarten w/ a pull-up, and he was like 'ok'. They bought him a toy for no more accidents and that was it.
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Constantly yelling at your kids. My s****y neighbour screams at her kids all the time, tells them all sorts of horrible things. Recently tho I heard the 14 year old scream at his mum "your a f*****g horrible mother" I was actually kinda proud of him
Religion: It is like a d!ck. It is ok to have one and it is ok to be proud of it. But don't air it in public, and don't force it onto children. I get it, you may have been brainwashed into believing in fairytales as a grown up, but please don't pass that on to the next generation. Teaching children good values and how to behave properly, can be done without threatening them with torture, or adding some kind of Devine authority into the mix. Religion does not have the patent when it comes to knowing how to behave, it has just highjacked some good ideas that is helpful when it comes to how to act around people (this is evident from the fact that some of the worst a$$holes can be "faithfull" Christians, and that there are good people amoung the atheists too). Let your children make up their own minds when it comes to how they see the world, instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread.
"...instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread." LOL! 🤣 I was initially raised Catholic, but saw some of the contradictions as a young child. This led my mother to question some of her religion's practices. Neither of us feels there's any good reason to be 'instructed' by other people in their viewpoints of a so-called faith, which is exactly what it's been for millennia. My now-wife respects this and accepts it, and I merely try to be a good contributor to society without the shaming and ostracizing that 'organized' religion keeps trying to force upon all of humankind in the name of their 'god' or 'belief' systems. Religion is ultimately a poison used to shame and coerce others, typically to hateful and divisive ends. The many documented versions of the Bible are an excellent example of how imperfect and bias-driven so-called organized religion ultimately is.
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This is so weird, I wrote about this under the above post about wholesome news, I keep getting a glitch on listicles lately. The first item always reads (Function) and the rest of them cut off after 10ish words. Anyone else having this?? Tech pandas, any advice?
I don't remember what exactly the doctors wanted to medicate him for. I think it was more for issues related to his condition, not the aspergers itself.
Late toilet training is my pet peeve. Kids going to preschool in diapers.
My cousin just did not seem to care about it, I think they just straight up told him he couldn't go to kindergarten w/ a pull-up, and he was like 'ok'. They bought him a toy for no more accidents and that was it.
Load More Replies... Constantly yelling at your kids. My s****y neighbour screams at her kids all the time, tells them all sorts of horrible things. Recently tho I heard the 14 year old scream at his mum "your a f*****g horrible mother" I was actually kinda proud of him
Religion: It is like a d!ck. It is ok to have one and it is ok to be proud of it. But don't air it in public, and don't force it onto children. I get it, you may have been brainwashed into believing in fairytales as a grown up, but please don't pass that on to the next generation. Teaching children good values and how to behave properly, can be done without threatening them with torture, or adding some kind of Devine authority into the mix. Religion does not have the patent when it comes to knowing how to behave, it has just highjacked some good ideas that is helpful when it comes to how to act around people (this is evident from the fact that some of the worst a$$holes can be "faithfull" Christians, and that there are good people amoung the atheists too). Let your children make up their own minds when it comes to how they see the world, instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread.
"...instead of installing your own default software in them and letting the virus spread." LOL! 🤣 I was initially raised Catholic, but saw some of the contradictions as a young child. This led my mother to question some of her religion's practices. Neither of us feels there's any good reason to be 'instructed' by other people in their viewpoints of a so-called faith, which is exactly what it's been for millennia. My now-wife respects this and accepts it, and I merely try to be a good contributor to society without the shaming and ostracizing that 'organized' religion keeps trying to force upon all of humankind in the name of their 'god' or 'belief' systems. Religion is ultimately a poison used to shame and coerce others, typically to hateful and divisive ends. The many documented versions of the Bible are an excellent example of how imperfect and bias-driven so-called organized religion ultimately is.
Load More Replies... This is so weird, I wrote about this under the above post about wholesome news, I keep getting a glitch on listicles lately. The first item always reads (Function) and the rest of them cut off after 10ish words. Anyone else having this?? Tech pandas, any advice?
I don't remember what exactly the doctors wanted to medicate him for. I think it was more for issues related to his condition, not the aspergers itself.
