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The world would be one hell of a boring place without the endless amount of awkward conversations people endure on a daily basis. When you’re in the middle of it, it’s very little fun indeed. We get it. Blushing, sweating and wanting to disappear are some of the very well known adverse effects that come with it. But that’s the price to pay for one heck of a story you gotta tell months and even years later. So in perspective, it’s relatively cheap, right?
So today, we are going on a cringeworthy trip into hilariously painful and embarrassingly awkward exchanges between individuals that have been shared by people online. Scroll down through the collection of priceless convos below, upvote your favorite ones and be sure to share your own awkward convo experiences. And if it feels like you’ve heard similarly cringey dialogues in the first seasons of The Office, it’s likely because only reality can be stranger than fiction.
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#1
Libstak 3 years ago
Tell me you have a cork stuck up your butt without telling me you have a cork stuck up your butt.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
This made me laugh. I don't use emoticons in my professional exchanges, but I also do not chide someone else if they do.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
I only do it to internal colleagues whom I know really well. Including my boss!!
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Brendan Roberts 3 years ago
I bet this anti-emoji guy also says things like, "Come to me with solutions, not problems".
RELATED:
#2
Daniel Marsh 3 years ago
Anyone ever do this? Dr: So how are you feeling? Me: Fine, yourself? Oh, no... I mean...
Katya Myers 3 years ago
In Russia on Easter people say to you “ - Christ is Risen!” And you are meant to answer – Truly He is Risen! And on some holidays people just express their wishes of health and prosperity and you respond that you wish all the same for them. My aunt: - Christ is Risen! Me: - I wish all the same to you!
Milady Blue 3 years ago
A lot of it is folks going into autopilot. Like when you go to a fast food place and ask for an order of fries, and the cashier asks if you want fries with that.
#3
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Thanks I needed to know someone else really doesn't listen at times!
Marco Conti 3 years ago (edited)
At the TSA boots we are like trained little monkeys. Nothing is too outrageous anymore. If they said "strip buck naked and squawk like a chicken" most of us would just comply. Maybe we'd be a touch put off, but we'd do it, as long as we could get out of the line and on the plane.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
I was patted down at Heathrow but the woman was so grumpy I wanted to say something but my husband knows me so well, he grabbed me and pulled me away saying thank youuuu. What I wanted to say ... "Was it as good for you as it was for me"...
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Jason Alexander 3 years ago
I wish I had been the person behind you, just to see this firsthand.
Mazer 3 years ago
Ohhhh the stories law enforcement people have. I loved that he shared. So human, so beautiful
Julian McCallum 3 years ago
I bet those TSA guys meet some crappy people and usually are miserable because of it. I bet that thing you did was exactly what he needed
Jeja 3 years ago
Witsec is when you move to a new place and you have to change your name and identify, so no one knows who you used to be. It's called witness protection and you get protection from the government for testifying or being an informant on someone. It's so that person can't find you and harm you.
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No one is immune to awkward conversations. I mean, we are all social animals living among fellow human beings, and just as it’s sometimes fun and wonderful to be among them, it's also pretty awkward too. We gotta pay the price for all the fun, right?
So even if we agree that the awkward exchanges you wish would disappear are part of human communication and occasionally we’re gonna get that blushing convo thrown into our daily errands, sometimes the exchanges are so much more complex than that. Especially if you’re dealing with someone who really annoys you. Yep, your colleague, tutor, a friend of friend, you know it.
#4
MysteriousLegBruise 3 years ago
Exactly! I see no embarrassment here, it's pretty important to know who dealt/supplied it
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Aaaand that's why some of us don't do surgery... Speaking as an MD, back in the day, you're in med school and they ask, "Who here vomits easily?" Nobody ever says "I do." Then they open up the cadaver, and oh, yeah, you should've said. The vomit was, frankly, worse than the cadaver.
Dodo 3 years ago
See, if it's their first time, I could understand it. You can't know how strong a stomach you need until you're in that situation. Also I don't vomit easily but the smell of vomit will make me vomit.
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#5
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Haha, oops. Yesterday morning my daughter and I were having a chat. She stopped for a minute and started talking into her phone to send a voice message to her bf. I thought she was done and let out a fart. I realised she hadn't finished when she started laughing. She played it back, and yep, you could hear the fart. We said if her bf hears it we will blame the dog.
C. Wade 3 years ago (edited)
I sneezed and accidentally farted at work once. 4 people turned in their wheelie chairs and looked at me. I felt like I was on The Voice.
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
Laughing too hard at this. God, I feel you. Had this with a loud burp.
Load More Replies... Lance d'Boyle 3 years ago (edited)
I was in driver's ed sitting next to a girl I really liked. My stomach was bad and I needed to go to the toilet but decided to wait it out till the break. I couldn’t wait any longer and decided to slide one out— silent but deadly. Unfortunately I could not tame it any longer and it bolted out, striking the hard plastic seat and make a loud report like a machine gun firing. Silence. And then my friend on my other side shouted my name so all were sure it was me. I spent the break in the bathroom and returned to the back of the classroom. I never did ask her out.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
I’m sorry, but I laughed loud and long at your misery.
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Scott Kelly 3 years ago
I think it was like the 6th grade, the entire class moved their desks into one big circle. At a quiet point, of course I needed to fart. I thought it was gonna be a silent one and no one would know. Boy, was I wrong. The fart was so loud, EVERYONE looked right at me. I wanted to die lol.
Claire 3 years ago
Yes! It's an old FML post! That's the first time I remember reading it.
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Kishibe Angelo 3 years ago
i remeber a kid doing this before but with a heavy wood in woodworking he slammed it and we all look to see him. he was so delayed like after the log drop 5 seconds later *grunt* *loud ass fart that sounded like he s**t himself*
#6
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
I hate those things. It really does seem like they are talking to you and then they always have the nerve to get pissy when you respond as if you routinely look at people's ears before talking
Katrina Joson 3 years ago
That is why my dog can't simply fathom why people on their phone/headset aren't talking to him whenever he passes.. lol
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Odd Ragnar Deng Lerstøl 3 years ago
The rude one here is the one with the headphones. Involving others in a private conversation.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I remember the very first time I ever came across someone using an earphone before they were common. I thought the woman was having some kind of breakdown, pacing around talking to herself. Just as I was about to approach her and offer help, she put her hand up to her ear and I saw the earphone. Saved me a world of embarrassment.
I Just Changed My Name 3 years ago
Bless you for having the attention to offer aid when you thought she was having a moment
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Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
This is the right way to react when a stranger says "I love you" in an elevator.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 3 years ago
Check the Ameriquest Mortgage Company commercial. A lawyer is talking to a client on a Bluetooth earphone. He is at a convinience store. The guy tells his client "you are getting robbed" (about something being expensive)... and then the owner of the store beats him with a baseball bat.
In order to find out exactly how to remain calm when dealing with people who irritate you, because as you know very well, it’s unavoidable, we spoke with Susan Petang, a certified stress management coach specializing in painful life changes. “For people who are irritating and annoying, ask yourself, 'Why could they be doing that?' Maybe the dog threw up in their shoes. Maybe they had an argument a few minutes ago. Maybe they had a horrible childhood and they don't know any better.”
Susan also reminds us of a truth as old as history: “usually other people's bad behavior has nothing to do with us.” And even if that doesn't justify their behavior, it helps you to stay calmer.
#7
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
No, I would've done the same. She should've been more specific. I want ice cream.
Devil's Advocate 3 years ago
If she had a heart, he'd have got ice cream too
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Annnnd We’re Officially In Reverse 3 years ago
Rude. She should've just given you an ice cream and said "dinner will be at 7"
Vicky Z 3 years ago
E yes!! I'm surprised only one unknown person approached!! Everyone around should have approached and she should have given ice cream to everyone too
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#8
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
OMG some of these are freakin' hilarious!!! I just laughed so loud, the cat (in a deep sleep on the sofa behind my head) nearly hit the ceiling!!!
Cat Crazy Lady 3 years ago (edited)
It's so strange when you say something in the heat of the moment and you use words you've never used before.
Glynna Bowood 3 years ago
...And then he proceeded o beat the hell outta me!
Load More Replies... julie son 3 years ago
Fairly new immigrant to Canada, I took a trip to States, and I ended up driving alone one day way down in Texas. I had no idea of the southern dialect yet. I got stopped by a border patrol car, and one of the officers (very polite) asked me "How are y'all doing?", and I got really worried, because I came form a country where we were afraid of the police, and this guy seemed nice, but I was clearly alone and he was asking about "all of us". I hesitantly answered "I'm...umh...fine...?", and then he said "Is there anybody else in the car?", and that really freaked me out, because you could clearly see there was nobody else in my car, and I was thinking "Is this guy on drugs? Crazy? Hallucinating? Is he seeing invisible people? Is he looking for invisible people?" I said "...no...", and he tipped his hat and said "Y'all have a good day now" and left.
#9
Evil Hornet 3 years ago
You just need to change Your name to "Muslim" - the easiest way to live with it
Buren 3 years ago
Genius, and then you can reverse the embarrassment to someone else
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13 3 years ago (edited)
I had a guy in my highschool senior class called Firaz. I didn't understand him the first time and was completely on edge because new school anxiety. I swear to god he walked up (hulking big guy with a heart of gold and a voice like a foghorn) and goes "Hi I'm Fearless" and I did not know how to respond. The only thing that came out was "I bet you are! Do you always introduce yourself like that?" In a bitchy defensive tone and he looked at me like he saw water burning. Yeah I facepalmed pretty hard a little later. Ended up good friends.
Öz Deniz Boro 3 years ago
My sister's name is Mine (forget me not in Turkish). She says its a shame when there is a meeting and everone's name is written on his/her seat.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I supplied in a special needs class during an RE lesson. It was quite basic and a video was shown which began ’Chrstians believe....' after they all turned to the kid called Christian, asking why he believed that and other comments. He smiled happily - said he had no idea but it all seemed ok. Teacher came back in the room - bunch of kids hands up shouting ' my turn, do me next, what do I believe' .
Ghost Host 3 years ago (edited)
No, this would've been the perfect joke so long as he was not offended. Once I accidentally called a rainbow candy cane "fruity" among my gay friends. They thought it was on purpose and loved it.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
The times they are a changin...thankfully
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Brenna Edgin 3 years ago
i'll meet someone and say: hi i'm Brenna what's your name them: i'm ____ me: hi i'm Brenna
The next phase when learning to deal with people you don’t find comfortable is setting boundaries and limits. “Most of the time, the best strategy is to let people's irritating behavior go. It's usually not worth your energy to confront every person who steps on your toes or annoys you. Sometimes, though, you may decide that a line has been crossed and someone's behavior has to be stopped so it doesn't have a negative effect on you.”
Susan gave a useful example: “To do that, use an XYZ statement: 'When you do X, I feel Y, and I'd like Z.' Here's what that might sound like: ‘When you criticize the reports I do, I feel angry and unhappy. I'd like to get some constructive feedback instead, if you don't like the way I'm writing them.’”
#10
Squee She 3 years ago
She's a sweetheart! I had to read it twice, I thought I must have read it wrong lol
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Lemy Kilmister 3 years ago (edited)
Back in the 1990s I was in the country side one night and me and my buddy stopped at what we thought was a pub. We walked in sat down in what we thought was a lounge and an old hippy lady was allready there. She smiled and we said "evenin do you know where the the bar is?" She said "there's a pub down the road, this is my living room" so we took her drinking with us. She ended up asking us to stay at hers which we declined but it a good night anyway.
ℙ𝕦𝕣𝕣_𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕕 3 years ago
I love this. Thanks for sharing. It was great that you took her drinking too.😊
Load More Replies... Chich 3 years ago (edited)
I live in a touristy area. Finally put up a fence and a gate, It was not uncommon to walk out on the deck with my morning coffee to find "guests" wandering around my yard.
Jaekry 3 years ago
It's sort of a compliment: you must have really nice deck.
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
I was walking with my partner through a really nice neighborhood and came across a door that had a big "OPEN HOUSE" thing hanging on the door. So I said we should go have a look inside just for fun. So we opened the door and walked in and happily greeted the man sitting in the living room. Watching TV. With his slippers on. Looking horrified. "Who are you?" Yeah, turns out it was some advertising for an open house somewhere else that had been hung on this guy's door handle, and a few others.
Sinkvenice 3 years ago
How can you mistake a house for a bar? Surely there would've been more than one table outside if it were. That woman sounds so lovely, how accommodating! :-)
Angela Coker 3 years ago
And they didn't specify a brand of beer, just ordered "a beer" like in a movie? In a bottle or a glass? It sounds fishy.
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Mazer 3 years ago (edited)
Spoonerisms!!! Stumper Bicker (bumper sticker) wacklty fives (faculty wives), my grandmother was an unintentional champion.I ended up making it a car ride game for the kids. To take two persons first names and flip the first letters. Bill and Kelly would be Kill and Belly. The kids love it
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Parrots and keys is the only spoonerism I can remember!
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Tassenküchlein168 3 years ago
That reminds me on an epic fail by a German radio host (my emphatics to all non German speakers): "Sie hören nun die h-Mess-Molle, Verzeihung, die h-Moss-melle… Entschuldigung… die (höchst konzentriert) h. - Moll. - Messe - von Johann Sebaldrian Bach. - Ich bring mich um."
#12
Marco Conti 3 years ago (edited)
Put yourself in her shoes. She is probably posting on Reddit this very moment "Some weird guy asked me if he could pet a muffin I was holding" (I figured that "...he could pet my muffin..." would sound even weirder)
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Definitely sounds like a euphemism for something nefarious!
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Wang Zhuang 3 years ago
Moving on from the dirty joke that popped in my head as I read this...
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I really can't move on! I'll use it with my partner! Hey baby do you want to pet my muffin?😅😅😅
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nala simba 3 years ago
"Can I pet your hamster" sounds just a weird as "Can I fondle your muffin?"
Most importantly, tone and attitude are everything! “There may be a day when you might irritate someone else—so how would you want to be spoken to? Be the change you want to see, because your actions are teaching others how you want to be treated,” the stress management coach concluded.
#13
Guy MacGregor 3 years ago
I agree. I feel some sadness and a "You're free to do whatever you want but know that I love you" in his message.
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Ashley Schriber 3 years ago
She said she was going "with Elain." Did he think they were having a threesome with this Michael person, and she just decided to let him know over text? Or what?
Not-very-graceful 3 years ago
wow that is one very loyal, loving boyfriend. even if she was cheating he took it so well
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
"Have fun with your 3way, honey. I hope you're still coming by on Tuesday to watch the LotR extended cut with me..."
Billy Beecham 3 years ago
I used to build computers back in the day. I had an electronic organizer that looked like a calculator and I used it to hold telephone numbers to motherboard manufacturers. One day my wife at the time found my organizer at home while I was away at work. When my friend and I came home after work my wife was visibly shaken and asked "who is ami bios? " and almost had tears in her eyes. My friend and myself busted out laughing. Ami bios is American megatrends incorporated. We explained it was simply a manufacturer. I apologized for laughing, it was just funny. I forget that not everyone knows about computers. I guess the fact it was an 800 number didn't help much. Ironically, I find out later that she had been involved in multiple affairs.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Oh sh!t, I started laughing and then your last sentence... I'm sorry Billy. Hug.
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CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Yeah, my guess is that things didn't end so well between them..
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Samantha Lomb 3 years ago (edited)
In fairness I've never heard of wine served by the liter even in metric countries. In Russia its glass or bottle.
Buren 3 years ago
Why would he willingly become a leader when he didn't even know if he was granted a first taste of the wine or being sacrified to wine god in some kind of ancient ceremony
#15
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
Recently my brain couldn’t choose between “have a good day” and “have a good one.” I ended up blurting, “Guwanga!” to a complete stranger.
Paul Macdonell 3 years ago
I was slightly intoxicated and very tired when I called my wife by both names I used for her ...sweetheart and sugar. For the last 30 years she is affectionately known to me as swigger !!
Fox Smith 3 years ago
Something for Germans: One time our mother wanted to yell either "Ich werd fuchsteufelswild!" or "Ich krieg nen Tobsuchtsanfall!" and all she could get out was "FUCHSTOB!!!"
Jess-a-men 3 years ago
I once got caught between "Ich könnte mich dazu durchringen" and "Ich könnte mich zusammenreißen" and ended up saying: "Ich könnte mich dazu durchreißen."
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#16
Stefan 3 years ago (edited)
To avoid such situations, 99% of my inner dialogue is "Keep your thoughts for yourself, just shut the f**k up"
Jo Choto 3 years ago
When you work in customer service of any kind, it's best never, ever to make a comment on people's choices, purchases, transactions or anything else.
Dodo 3 years ago
Some places actually tell cashiers to make small talk, which is very likely to be about the purchases. One of the reasons I prefer self-service.
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Nubis Knight 3 years ago
Can't wrap my mind around the fact checks are still a thing in some countries. It's so much safer to use cash Transfer. @_@
Groundcontroltomajortom 3 years ago
Still get them for certain things in the UK. Very outdated!
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Id row 3 years ago
Yeah, I wish employees would stop commenting on what the customer is doing/buying. Really rude at the supermarket and bank. "Oh, you're buying a lot of x. That's a lot of sugar." If I wanted your personal opinion and criticisms, I'd ask. Please just be semi-professional and keep the personal commentary about the customer's business out of it.
Micah 3 years ago
Yea, don't comment on someone's finances unless they bring it up.
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Helen Davies 3 years ago
True story ...a man I knew slightly sat his wife down beside me at an event he was busy hosting. We got to chatting, small talk. She was nice. I said, do you and *husband* have children? She said ... none that lived. Mic drop. Later I found out she was grieving a stillborn. Lesson: children are now in the category of religion and politics at social events unless you know someone well.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Aw, that's very sad, for sure. But there was absolutely no way you could have known.
Load More Replies... Anita Pickle 3 years ago
That is why you do not make chit chat. I once saw a man breakdown in a grocery store buying flowers when the cashier said "you must be in the dog house" the flowers were for his wife's grave, she past recently he was on his way to visit.
#17
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Reminds me of my dad when he forgot his glasses and asked my mother who the weird guy by the door was. The "weird guy" was a coat hanger in a restaurant.
Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
Your mailboxes are blue? Interesting... Here it is yellow. Bright sunny yellow.
Ladedah 3 years ago (edited)
When my work days started consisting of 'waving at random strangers' (because I didn't want to 'not wave' at coworkers) and 'offending coworkers' after calling them by the wrong name when I needed to get their attention from across a room... that is when I knew it was time for glasses. Well, that and when I looked behind me at a red light, saw no cars, and thought "good, I can back up and get into the other lane"... then proceeded to back right into the full-size SUV behind me 😕
J F 3 years ago
After my 8 year old daughter got her first pair of glasses she read all the signs on the way home but I felt really bad when she said "Wow, trees actually have individual leaves".
Llewella 3 years ago
Better than my son looking at me and asking "did you always have so many wrinkles?"
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Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
My mother got her first glasses the day she came to pick me up at school and ended up accidentally kidnapping my classmate and abandoning me.
Grady'sRaider 3 years ago
Filling in for a schoolbus driver who's route ran the coast road. In the early grey of dawn, in a light fog, I pulled over and opened the door for a student, to find a plastic santa tied to a mailbox post!
#18
Mihai Mara 3 years ago
Tesco lad trying to get out of an awkward situation: "nooo, it's part of the meal deal" :D
Eduard Korhonen 3 years ago
It is part of the meal deal. Without the drink, the sandwich and crisps cost more...add a drink and the real actually becomes a lot cheaper
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C. Wade 3 years ago
Come to think of it that's quite a clever way to either get a date or shift the embarrassment if it doesn't go well haha
Id row 3 years ago
tbf, the way he phrased it is misleading. If the customer knew it was part of the meal deal, they would have already gotten it.
boredkitten 3 years ago
Maybe he asked: would you like to a drink? She could have just reprahsed what he originally said
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Lady Vader 3 years ago
This really is genuine, it may surprise you how many people miss an item from the meal deal (sorry to be a bore but I work there)!
#19
Vicky Z 3 years ago
Not really!it's not that uncommon in Greece believe me! And in the villages the guests are so many that most of the times you don't even know the guests they invite whole villages and give food to everyone!! Probably they didn't even noticed she was not a guest but even if they did she would still get food
Load More Replies... Tassenküchlein168 3 years ago
People in Greece are SO kind! 😍 We have been on Crete in our last holiday and met the nicest people ever abroad the tourist places. 🥰
Houssem Hammami 3 years ago
The 2nd story from Greece so far, they both made me want to visit it now
Vicky Z 3 years ago
They can say a lot about Greeks but nobody can say anything about our hospitality!! These things are very common especially in islands and villages
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Dora Giakoumi 3 years ago (edited)
Believe me, they didn't bother, they did it out of the kindness of their own hearts. Us Greeks feel flattered to have strangers at our tables... and we never let them pay of course :)
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago
Part 2 of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding": "Wedding, Not A Resurant" (never actually seen the movie though)
#20
Madzdad the bard 3 years ago
I took my 6yo daughter to school once and left her in the garage. She is 23 and still reminds me about it!
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
For the rest of your life...and it will likely be mentioned after you cross the Great Divide.
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lazy panda 3 years ago
I will not lie. I had to take my dog to the vet last week for his checkup and a shot and before we left I had to go through the list in my mind "Leash? Check. Collar? Check. Dog? Check."
Helen Butoyi 3 years ago
I tend to check otherwise I may forget an item/change of route
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Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
I gather from the plainness of the statement that you were able to go back and get it without being late.
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Nubis Knight 3 years ago
Wouldn't happen with my poodle - you just can't forget her cause she tries to come with you everywhere, even the vet @_@
#21
Iva Kazalova 3 years ago
I lolled at this and has to explain to my non-English living mum why this is funny 😆
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Gin 3 years ago
Do you know the old Jasper Carrot insurance claims skit? Think this should work. https://youtu.be/dQJn4qX1YHU
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Mazer 3 years ago (edited)
Happens to the best of us. One of my friends was driving across the Golden Gate Bridge and trying to flirt with a hot guy in a car in the lane next to her. Completely totaled her car sending people to the hospital, the object of her affections was clueless about the wreck. I asked…..she replied….”yep, totally worth it”.
#22
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Well I guess you could chat with him and see if it was the right decision
Kendra Miller 3 years ago
If it did turn into something that would be an amazing meet cute
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Dee Mendes 3 years ago
normally yeah, but possible if it's showing matches by distance
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Vicky Z 3 years ago
Too bad she can't swipe him in person too! We need an app for that
Load More Replies... Collette Francis 3 years ago (edited)
Hope you chatted with him, sometimes fate can give you a shove
Zophra 3 years ago
Too bad this doesn't follow up with a .."and we've been togther for 20 years..."
Steve Fischer 3 years ago
I would have taken it as a sign to get together. Fate works in mysterious ways
#23
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
Yep, agreed. It's rupture and repair...with laughter.
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Katy McMouse 3 years ago
This reminds me of my parents. Years ago, one of them was reading a news article about a home invasion and decided to share. The criminals forced the victim to eat cat food, but what my dad, who was hard of hearing heard, "blah, blah, blah...and they made the cat food." My mum answered back by rereading the line to my dad, who then asked "they made the cat poop?" My mum's exasperated reply to that gem - "Jesus Christ, James! FOOD! THE CAT MADE FOOD! ...oh never mind, damnit!" I think my dad went to the grave thinking there was a real life cat with culinary skills out there, somewhere.
#24
Stoopham McFernybabes 3 years ago
My friend and I, as teenagers, were walking along, car goes past and toots, I flick the bird and my friend points out that it was our minister who we just left meeting with having convinced him that we were mature enough to be baptised into the church….yeah.
YinzerGhost 3 years ago
I yelled something something f**kface to a guy in traffic once, and he turned, and it was my uncle. lolz.
Devil's Advocate 3 years ago
He's never met you so would have figured it out, and probably been glad a sensible girl like you was friends with his daughter
Peter Kelly 3 years ago
Serves him right for sounding his horn! Car horns are ONLY to warn of danger, not to say, "Hi!", or, "I'm here", or show annoyance.
Lisa Reuss 3 years ago
Dads can be pervs + rapists. Happens, sadly, all the time. Watch ID Channel.
#25
Mihai Mara 3 years ago
The customer: "I was afraid to ask, but yes, I would like them in a bag" :) *Po-po-po-poker face po-po-poker face*
Patrick McKemie 3 years ago
I once handed a friend a cup of hot coca and asked him if he'd like a topping. I then realized I was not at work (yogurt shop) and I had no topping to offer in the first place. Bonus: I would also answer any phone with "I Can't Believe it's Yogurt, can I help you?" A friend once called me at home just to see if I would do it. I did!
#26
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
This is my nightmare when I go shoe shopping: that someone will try on or steal my shoes...
M 3 years ago
I don't have that fear because by the time I make myself go shoe shopping my original shoes look like something that fell off a cliff several times after being brutally attacked by a herd of superpowered rhinos. If someone looks at them and thinks "yes, those are a pair worthy of stealing" I would just let them have them. They are clearly going through something.
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Riley Quinn 3 years ago
This was a daily occurrence at Payless. Perhaps that's why they switched to .com only.
#27
Davo gifman 3 years ago
That's hilarious! It's almost as funny as falling down, and eating ass.🥴😁😆🤣
Veronica Vatter 3 years ago
I just fell ON my ass on Friday so this is cracking me up 🤣
Load More Replies... RatherLoopy 3 years ago
I was unfamiliar with that term so I Googled it just now. Not recommended. WHO TURNED OFF MY SAFE SEARCH??
IeabellAlakar@aqueenofaplanet 3 years ago
Ooh man delete it and mabye the fbi wont come calling.
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cb !!! 3 years ago
i have unfortunately not convinced my father that "eating ass" does NOT mean the same as "eating it", and now he's been saying it to everyone about our slippery deck. it hit peak humiliating when he very loudly said "i totally ate ass today" in a very crowded restaurant.
Let’s All Just Try And Be Decent 3 years ago
Being from England, I am totally confused by this phrase. Falling over is "eating it"? As in, the floor? I'm genuinely asking, not trying to be rude. We would just say, I fell flat on my face, or l guess, I fell flat on my bum, but never combine face and bum and eating!!
Anna Solan 3 years ago
Yes. I presume maybe it's related to biting the dust? Eating dirt?...
Load More Replies... Jason Alexander 3 years ago
I love the last text, "who told you that? Who are you hanging out with?. Had me rolling. 🤣🤣
Vicky Z 3 years ago
How the tables turn!! This is something a parent would say to their teenager kid when they were worried about drugs
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J. F. 3 years ago (edited)
Let's say "ass eating" should be taken literally, as it's a bedroom activity
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Vortex Lazer 3 years ago
The mom seems to have interacted with some very interesting person here. I laughed way too hard at this.
#28
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago (edited)
She probably noticed but giggled a little and forgot once she moved on to the next order. It probably wasn't even the first time that shift that it happened lol
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Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Sounds like the time someone wished me happy birthday and (without engaging brain) I said "And a happy birthday to you too!" in reply. TEN YEARS AGO and I still replay that moment over and over again in my mind.
Auntriarch 3 years ago
I would just have assumed you were being humourous
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My O My 3 years ago
In three years at precisely 2am on tge first friday in august you'll wake up cringing to this
Douglas Turner 3 years ago
Just wait a dozen years... you'll remember, and have to start all over
#29
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Same, the only time my windows get clean is when I move out of a house lol.
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Orion Red 3 years ago
I waved back to the woman parked across from me in the carpark. She was shaking her inhaler.
Vicky Z 3 years ago
I would continue saying "shake it yeah shake it" cheering with enthusiasm
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Ali Sherlock 3 years ago
The other day I was out in my front yard and I saw the dog across the road looking at me, so I waved at it.....neighbor waved back at me from their lounge room window. I've never spoken to them but I guess I'm the friendly neighbor now
#30
Monday 3 years ago
You should absolutely break up with someone in a public place if there's a chance they'll turn violent. It's much safer.
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Kesam 3 years ago
In today's episode of "Places not suitable for breaking up": restaurants. Join us again for tomorrow's episode: elevators.
Nami Tantrum 3 years ago (edited)
i broke up with an ex at a restaurant... the time he wanted to propose was the time i realized i was in an abusive relationship and that i need to get out... i'm glad i was in a puplic place because he did not take it well...
Wistiti 3 years ago
Why go to a restaurant to break up? You could go to their place to do it, at least they will be in their "comfort zone" - ice creams are in reach. or if you want a neutral place, there's the park! Find a bench with a bit of cover in case the party being caught unaware needs a bit of time to gather themselves.
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
I actually agree with doing it on their turf - that way they can save some dignity by kicking you out of their house and slamming the door behind you. You won't care because you want to be rid of them and they will feel like they showed some strength and told you where to go.
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sofacushionfort 3 years ago
That’s like something out of a John Cheever story. If the 1950’s aren’t traditional enough, why not go back to the 1890s, when a gentleman always carried two handkerchiefs in case he made a lady cry, but her brother might horsewhip him on the steps of his club.
#31
Kendra Miller 3 years ago
Librarians help a LOT of people. There is a good chance they didn't know you. They were probably ready to point you in the direction of the bathroom except you turned and left. They wouldn't have known what to do with the money so it would have been entered as a donation at the end of the day. Lastly, library accounts expire after a year and at my library are deleted after two years of inactivity, meaning no record of the original fine. It's been three years, it's time to go back and start afresh.
Little Wonder 3 years ago
I used to work in a library and this would not make the top 100 weirdest comments list.
Sandra Givens 3 years ago
Was a librarian for more than two decades. Absolutely something that we encounter in the normal course of our day and definitely not even close to being the weirdest. I would have pointed to the restroom and not blinked an eye.
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#32
Donkey boi 3 years ago
That's why I always make surely to cheek what I've typed before I press scent!
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Yup. My mother was getting toothpaste for me, my auto correct asked for Aqua Fred. This was yesterday. She's still chortling.
Beth S 3 years ago
Most likely it was talk to text... talk to text screws with me every damn time.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
I love playing mad gab just to read text messages 🤣
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Sheila Stamey 3 years ago
Very far. I tried to type " like a duck on a June bug" a local saying meaning very fast. My smart aleck son has never let me live autocorrect's version " like a dude on a jukebox"" down. I'll always be known as Fonzie .
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#33
Bex 3 years ago
If my husband said this in front of my family, I would laugh like crazy! I think it’s hilarious! 😆
Wang Zhuang 3 years ago
Replace the "b" with a "g" and that would've spelled his fate after saying something that stupid hahaha
Ben Steinberg 3 years ago
A LONG time ago, that word used to mean, "to make a mistake". I kid you not, you can find some old readings from the 50's and 60's and someone will make the statement, "You really pulled a boner that time..." or some other such silliness...
beau danner 3 years ago
It was still in use in the 80s. Growing Pains. Michael Seavers best friend was Boner
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Cat Crazy Lady 3 years ago
I don't understand why the father would get upset. Unless the girl is like ten years old or something. He probably knows that his daughter is sexually active.
#34
iBlank 3 years ago
I'm totally doing this the next time someone offers a fist bump!
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K Witmer 3 years ago
When I was 12 a man was standing w his arm on his hip so I stuck my head in through his arm and looked up at him and realized after what felt like a minute that man was not my dad. I remember my face burning from embarrassment and my dad cracking up
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
When I was about 6, my family were at the local sports ground watching my brother play football. I had been playing with some friends and then decided to go back to Mum and Dad. I spotted them in the distance, their backs to me, so I raced up to them as fast as I could and body slammed as hard as I could into my Dad's legs and a**e. 'Dad' of course turned out to be a total stranger, but he didn't half get a shock! In fact, I can still hear his high-pitched yelp in my head!!
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Richard Grant 3 years ago
A people greeter at Walmart tried to give me a fist bump, i put out my hand and shook his fist.
Henry Shaw 3 years ago
I have had older people do this to my fist when I try to fist bump them. Now I just shake their hand.
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#35
Anna Banana 3 years ago
Okay, no sympathy for this one. Sounds too much like "why don't you smile more?"
DragonWhisperer15 3 years ago
"Why are you depressed? There's so much happiness in the world!" "Idk, why do you have asthma, there's so much air in the world."
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#36
Dodo 3 years ago
This one confuses me. You didn't talk about the camp the entire time? They didn't talk about the church?
Vicky Z 3 years ago
The church group didn't want to share their secrets with the strangers that decided to sit with them
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Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Reminds me of the time I wound up in the wrong protest group. The one I was supposed to attend was across the pond.
#37
Monday 3 years ago
Legend says he's still running, still calling out to Trevor to this very day.
Load More Replies... Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
For a 5yr old, that was very smart. I would have made a idiot out of me in this age... 🤣
Buren 3 years ago
Luckily I am that type of person who hide when I see someone I know on the street
AnnaBanana 3 years ago
Probably my Dad. He's a bit deaf and his name's Trevor...
Load More Replies... Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
My friend and her mum went into a place for tea and cake. They sat at a table for ages, but no one took their order. Turns out it was an old people’s home, not a cafe. They left.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
I’m glad they’re not still sitting and waiting...
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Beanie 3 years ago
I was in a train station in Glasgow & saw the back of a man who I thought was my friend Colin. I ran across the concourse full of people (was 5pm), jumped on his back & shouted 'wahhhhhhh!'. It was not Colin but a complete stranger.......I took the later train home every night after that 😆
katrina hunt 3 years ago
Came here to say this!! Haha and at the end of the one in New York when he loses “it wasn’t larry” 😂
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Lance LaRocque 3 years ago
Just say your dog ran away and you are looking for it. He can join you in looking for Trever.
#38
XenoMurph 3 years ago
What sort of person yells at their mother from another room, without even a please??
Monday 3 years ago
I do, and she does the same to me. If she's in the kitchen and I hear the kettle I'll yell, 'ME TOO!" and if our roles are reversed she'll yell "COFFEE COFFEE COFFEE". Don't judge an interaction without understanding the dynamic.
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Vortex Lazer 3 years ago
You should probably grill your own cheese, you have hands and legs, you can do those yourself.
pmsfo 3 years ago
You can make a nice grilled cheese sandwich with steam carpet cleaner. All you have to do is replace the filter with a few slices of bread with some cheese in the middle. Clean a few rooms and you'll be ready to eat.
Id row 3 years ago
So this person thinks it's ok to shout at their mother to make them food? Who does that? I would have gotten a beating with a wooden spoon.
Serena Brixey Bussell 3 years ago
This thought would have never entered my mind. To speak to my grandma like that...holymotherofgod
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Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
I'm not surprised your mother isn't at home, if that's how you treat her.
#39
Carsten Petersen 3 years ago
Well, if you get 59 out of 59 in a test, then you're not dumb ;-)
Karl Baxter 3 years ago (edited)
It’s a strange total - why not add another question worth 1 point and round it up to 60? A bit OCD I know but it annoys my sense of order 🙂 (Mind you, with that writing it would spell a nonsense word “bolbo”..)
Jason Alexander 3 years ago
Your teacher is telling you that if you bring salsa, then you'll pass.
Winter Eleven 3 years ago
Oh my god my classmate had something similar. Her name was Kim and her handwriting made it look like Kiti (Kitty and that's what the professor called her once before she corrected her)
Cat Crazy Lady 3 years ago
Would love to see what her 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7 and 8 look like..
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#40
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
Same thing happened to my grandmother. She thought her son (my dad) was calling from college. It was actually some other college kid trying to call his mom. They had a nice chat before they figured it out.
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
That's like the woman who thought she was texting her grandson about their Thanksgiving plans. It wasn't her grandson, but another young guy she didn't know. Once they both figured out what was going on, she invited this kid to come for dinner anyway and he came over every year thereafter, for close to a decade. He became great friends with the woman and her husband, and despite the generational differences, they'd meet up throughout the years, outside of Thanksgiving day. It became a story retold in the press every year around the holidays. It was also sadly reported when the poor husband died of covid during the first lockdown.
Bored Birgit 3 years ago
This story is on Bored Panda every Thanksgiving.
Load More Replies... just me 3 years ago
My mom got a call from a high school student trying to call her mom. She was really emotional and my mom was worried so kept her on the phone. We stayed on the phone with the girl for at least an hour until we figured out what school she was at and got someone from the office to find and help her. I think my mom's compassion and my googling skills may have stopped that girl from doing something bad to herself.
kkathleen517 3 years ago
Who doesn't recognize an immediate family members voice? I lost my beloved grandma 20 years ago and I would still know her beautiful voice anywhere. Crap, now I'm remembering her voice and I'm sad.
Jamilah toenailkilla 3 years ago
The opposite happened to me. I called my actual grandpa, he forgot my name and said "you have the wrong number," and hung up. Mom had to call him and tell him it was me lol. In his defense he was married 8 times, the first of whom was my grandmother who he had 9 children with, so he had A LOT of grandkids
Elaine Mattingly 3 years ago
I answered my phone,"Hello," A man started saying really sweet things in a romantic voice. I said,"I don't think I'm who you think you called." He said her name, I said she was a lucky girl and we laughed.
nala simba 3 years ago
I think mine is worse! I was talking intimately to my father in law whose voice was identical to my husband's!
Riley Quinn 3 years ago
Reminds me of the "strangers" Thanksgiving. https://nypost.com/2021/12/03/grandma-who-invited-stranger-to-thanksgiving-to-become-a-movie/
Terry Tobias 3 years ago
Every time an aunt of mine would call and I'd answer the phone, she'd think that I was my mom (we sound alot alike). She'd be halfway into a story before I could say "Aunt Joyce, this is Terry". Without fail.
#41
oakley is big 3 years ago
yeahhh i don't even wanna know what the milkman replied
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#42
#43
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
When i saw the name Stan my brain.exe stopped working and i read satan
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
sounds like you could use some cheese to clear your head
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Layla Corman 3 years ago
In my opinion, Stan/Stanley is a wonderful, strong name that just isn't chosen enough anymore.
#44
Davo gifman 3 years ago
Well let's hope this story comes to mind if he ever asks you to marry him.
RatherLoopy 3 years ago
I wasn't far from that age when I ordered medium-rare chicken trying to sound like a man of the world in a fancy restaurant.
Teresa Taylor 3 years ago
I'm from PA. I used to live in TX. A coworker was from NJ. We were talking about what was "normal" to us (yankees) that were strange to Texans. My favorite story was the first time he went to an Italian restaurant after moving to TX, he asked the server if they had any "hard rolls." The server, very indignantly, informed him "We only serve fresh food here," and walked away. (For those that don't know what I mean, he was served a very soft yeasty flavored roll and wanted a crusty mild flavored roll. Imagine wanting a Panera bread roll and getting a hamburger bun instead.)
Michelle C 3 years ago
Well, not gonna lie but until I saw that Southpark episode I probably would've said the same thing.
beau danner 3 years ago
I think you and her bf would be very happy together
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MellonCollie 3 years ago
I once called the waiter to my table because I was convinced there were a couple of tiny chunks of glass in my pasta dish. The waiter insisted they were salt crystals. I kept one in my mouth for some time, but it wouldn't melt (and didn't really taste of salt either). Must have been the oddest salt crystals ever. Returned the plate but felt really awkward all the same, because he kept insisting it was salt.
Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
I had a full on rant in a Pizza Hut once, because there was ham on my vegetarian pizza. Turns out it was red onion.
Synsepalum 3 years ago
I worked at a Nepali restaurant for a long time. We used to regularly have customers complain about leaves in their food. They were Bay leaves.
I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
All of the recipes and dishes I've ever made that call for bay leaves say to take them out before serving. I'm unsure if it's the same in Nepali cooking though.
Load More Replies... Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Well we put them glass shards on that there muffin just to sweeten your day!
kostas perperidis 3 years ago
My dad once complained about dirt in the salad which turned out to be croutons. He went all Karen and asked for the manager.
#46
Monday 3 years ago
I did something similar....We had a second unscheduled school assembly one week (the first was because a student had died) and asked my friend group "geez who died this time?"...it was a teacher. He was murdered. We got to go home early.
Katherine Dobias 3 years ago
omg doesn't sound like a safe neighborhood to me. Where is this place
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Scagsy 3 years ago
My dad used to be a commissionaire for the local council, greeting council members as they arrived and dealing with public enquiries. He was on good terms with practically everyone that worked in the building, having seen them come and go over the course of many years. This one day, a councillor arrived looking flustered and without her usual quiet air of authority. They chat, and she says she's having a terrible day at which point pops jokingly says 'At least no-one's died'. Between sobs, the lady explained that her cat had in fact, just died. Needless to say, that was the last time he ever used that quip again.
Auntriarch 3 years ago (edited)
I was saved from this by my boss who phoned me at home to let me know that a colleague's grandchild had suffered cot death. The colleague had had 4 grand kids in a year, so I had been planning to greet her with, so how many grandchildren have you got today Jean....
Maya Baggins 3 years ago
My FiL was a handyman (retired now), he had the habit to ask "Where's the patient?", when asking about the thing that had to be repaired... that was until he did that and was led to a man on his death bed
Tami 3 years ago
I had a student poke his head into my class and ask if he could see me. I said, "Excuse me, but can't you wait until class is over?" Saw him afterwards and he told me that his wife just had a miscarriage and he wouldn't be coming to the lab class.
Memere 3 years ago
Oof 😣. He could have said that it was an emergency, but yeah, that's awful.
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Betsy Novack 3 years ago
I was working at a school and as I was walking with one of the teachers of students I'm assigned to work with in her classroom. We were headed towards the office to sign in, and I noticed the flag was at half mast. "Gee. I wonder who died" I said. Then it hit me. "Oh s**t, it's 9/11 today. I feel like a schmuck." She never told the office or the kids I'm supposed to be supporting.
#47
Erica Cochrane 3 years ago
i work in a coffee shop, and the only people who say this to us are people we've never served before or have only served once. the real regulars tell you their order until you get the point you tell them their order before they place it. i've posted this before, but once this guy demanded his 'usual' i said i was sorry, but i didn't know what it was. he got all pissy and said 'i've been here at least twice before' and i said 'i'm sorry, i don't recall serving you before. was it definitely me who served you?' 'no, it was someone else' ... then how am i meant to know your order... i mean, i know coffee shop workers are all emotionless robots but we do not have a hive mind. yet.
Jetsam Kopakova 3 years ago
When I waited tables people would ask for "the usual" all the time. I just made random orders for them. Not one person ever complained...
Robert Thompson 3 years ago
I do this all the time (on purpose) It usually goes over well, and next time I get "my usual"
#48
Candy corn 3 years ago
I feel like if I yelled that to my group in a coffee shop and someone was like “can I have a coffee?” I’d just get it for them for kicks
#49
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
First of all, maybe they should've started with that and secondly, please learn how to phrase, no matter your position. Not taking orders seems like a good response.
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
I wouldn't appreciate a text from a boss that that is all it said. That's not a polite why to address an employee. And you know you've got a new phone, so you'd explain who you are. Of course, if the boss wants to behave like that, that's why you're stuck with if you want the job, I guess, but I wouldn't be thinking of it as me f.ucking up, I would be thinking of it as them f.ucking up.
Load More Replies... Hannah Edwards 3 years ago
In fairness the boss’s initial text was very rude and no way to talk to an employee.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
"I'm making you come at 12" what manager speaks to his workers like that??
Jace 3 years ago (edited)
It almost seems like an ambiguous text - on purpose. Like a boss flirting with the staff.
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Guido Pisano 3 years ago
if someone change his number should be polite to tell who is as 1st thing.
Chris M 3 years ago
"Hi, this is Maribel, this is my new number. Please come in to work at 12 this Friday."
Oopsydaisy 3 years ago
I just don't believe this. Who writes 'Im making you come' in that way?
Memere 3 years ago
A micromanaging boss. There's way too many of them out there!
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#50
Kelli Lindsay 3 years ago
Just posted the same thing! "One of these things is not like the others"
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#51
Apachebathmat 3 years ago (edited)
This is totally something I would have done but instead of walking out I’d have gone bright red and probably repeated myself In the hope they just understood
Lily bloom 3 years ago
I shared this the last time BP posted this but here it is again. I ordered "chunkin niggets" from the young black cashier at Burger King once. I ceased to live at that moment and am writing this as a ghost
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
Why is not just funny? Everyone messes their words up once in a while. It's funny. I don't get why this is embarrassing?
Lillukka79 3 years ago
That's what I was thinking. Would have laught my ass of after saying that.
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#52
Dee 3 years ago
In nearly any case it’s not, as far as I can tell though there are certain sibling relationships where this kind of thing is considered funny.
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#53
Marco Conti 3 years ago (edited)
How was the muffin? Was someone else petting it? Did it have glass shards in it?
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
If the muffin is in good condition I'll eat it, no matter if it was returned or not. I mean hey, it's a free muffin!
#54
#55
BasedWang 3 years ago
Driver's Ed. They let me and two of my best friends be in a group (suuuuuuper bad idea). We had one of them casette to AUX and I had my Ipod on. My boy blows a stop sign and a cop actually pulls us over in the drivers ed car.... As the cop gets to the window I start blasting "F**k The Police". Our drivers ed teacher almost died
#56
#57
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Is it normal to just get into a car without actually asking if they are your ride. I have only taken an Uber twice and both times I asked if they were booked for "my name".
Monday 3 years ago
I'm paranoid about getting into the wrong car so I always check the license plate too....can't imagine just hopping in and assuming I'm in the right place.
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#58
Mazer 3 years ago
I have accidentally said “I love you” to a store clerk who pointed me in the direction of what I needed but couldn’t find. So I just followed up with “great job” and people just seem to think I am super grateful. Which I am but not enough to say I love you to a complete stranger
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Sadly he didn't see the girl chasing after him yelling "WAIT COME BACK I LOVE YOU TOO!"
Ghost Host 3 years ago
I'm loving that his screen name is "Weird Al". He's one of two of my celebrity crushes.
Downunderdude 3 years ago
I don't understand this 'I had to leave immediately' thing? Why? Sure, you just made a bit of a dill of yourself, but people understand that happens. Why not just share a laugh?
#59
Bob D. Lin Quint 3 years ago
Now imagine a buncha waiters comin out singing happy birthday. Hilarious
Stoopham McFernybabes 3 years ago
This happened to my family! We took my grandmother out on the anniversary of my grandfather’s death - just to give her some love - and the waiter noticed she had been given some flowers. Out of the blue, at dessert time, we notice him and a couple of kitchen hands coming out with Grandma’s dessert with a few sparklers in it, then about to start singling “Happy Birthday”. My mother and aunt ran to head them off before they could get near our table and before Grandma noticed.
#60
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
Did you saw her face ? Was she your girlfriend or you confuse her with someone?
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
Well, it might be possible. During the gas shortage in the 70's, I moved in with 4 guys. One of them looked just like me from behind. Same color and length of hair, same height, no hips. I was asleep on the couch, facing the back of the couch. I was awakened when I felt lips on my neck. When I rolled over she freaked out. It was hysterical, and her BF thought so too.
#61
Tanisha Gupta 3 years ago
I did the same thing.....Opening a classroom door to my best friend, I was confused between saying "you're welcome" and "not a problem", I said, "you're a problem". After 10 years she still teases me with it...
Ghost Host 3 years ago
There's a person who tried to say "you're welcome" and "not a problem". "You're a problem".
#62
Upstaged75 3 years ago
It says "finally bringing you home bud". That seems like context to me. (Why are you downvoting people who are pointing this out?)
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RNA 3 years ago
Just yesterday i had a video call with one of my new coworkers when suddenly a dog jumps on her lap and she goes 'Oh, cat just appeared!'. I was like 'dafuq?' when she explained 'His name is 'Cat'. I know he's a dog, i'm not insane'
Auntriarch 3 years ago
Reasonable. My boss had a rottweiler called Puss (Kitty in American)
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Slytherin_4_LYF 3 years ago
There was context. It clearly says "finally bringing you home, bud :(" so the person didn't look at what the picture actually said... or did and didn't understand that "finally bringing you home"(with a sad face) and a picture of an urn was a card game??? Like A. Do you know what uno looks like and B. If you know the person you should at least know they had a dog named uno.
Hunter 3 years ago
That is literally what an expensive poker set looks like if it does not say uno. It’s logical to assume that the box contained an expensive, personalized uno set if you did not know the context.
Load More Replies... Vortex Lazer 3 years ago
Might need context in this one, without the context I might say the same thing too.
#63
Samantha Lomb 3 years ago
Poor prof. I hope he at least sent a follow up to find out about what. And its still better than the ones who email the night before the exam because they either a) missed all the classes, or b) understood nothing and think they can learn everything to pass in the next 6 hours.
Aria Whitaker 3 years ago (edited)
Ohhh...OP should NOT post something like this without blurring first...I now know his full name, the university that he goes to, at least one of his course names and the name of his prof along with their actual email information. NOT information I personally would want the crazies online to have....
Will Jones 3 years ago
Email address of professor visible in photo, this is the source of an even more awkward conversation..
#64
Mel in Real Life 3 years ago
There is a town in Arkansas where a folk tale is told how it got its name. The story is not true but people love to tell the story about how "Toadsuck" got its name due to the local teens going to the nearby lake and licked toads to get high.
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
A's manager: Did he learn that in school or from you are you raising toad lickers - poor toad!
Katherine Dobias 3 years ago
why does she need to go to school just cause he licked a toad? come on, schools call parents for the silliest things sometimes
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
Some people lick frogs because they hope to get high. The secretions are hallucinatory but often they make you sick. They’re intended to discourage predators so they’re quite fast acting. Since you don’t know whether Little Johnny is about to freak out or just fall down while vomiting, the prudent course would be to call a parent.
Load More Replies... #65
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
You gotta throw the plate in his heartless face, honey, he definitely deserves it.
#66
"Scammer tried to scam 20 random people at once"
Cecily Holland 3 years ago
Scammer Payback or KitBoga on YouTube. Those boys are hilarious even hacking into the scammers cctv cameras and showing the scammers their own dumb asses in their own call centre
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Anyone know how my number called me last night. I didn't realise it was my number until just after I answered it and they hung up. They called after 11pm so I thought it was an urgent call from a relative. What can people do with my mobile number?
#67
#68
Brian Bennett 3 years ago
Oh sir welcome to the dumbest human being alive group there are thousands of member!
#69
JOHANNA MUELLER 3 years ago
I misinterpreted this at first and imagined you screaming at him "going in for a hug" then hugging him...lol
#70
#71
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
Mortifying. I trust they quit their job, moved out of town and changed their name.
Douglas Turner 3 years ago
I worked retail and walked up to a customer in the fastener aisle, which is filled with thousands of different things, and asked if he needed a hand. Then I noticed he was an amputee... he didn't say anything about it, just asked for what he was looking for and I slunk off to the lunchroom to sit in the corner feeling small.
#72
YoyoSthlm 3 years ago
Who uses a cup to wash your mouth after brushing your teeth? Everyone uses their hands I thought
Florida, but without the beach 3 years ago
You’re actually not supposed to rinse your mouth after brushing your teeth at all
Load More Replies... Dorothy Parker 3 years ago
No! Not a bathroom cup and/or toothbrushes left on the sink or counter! They belong in the medicine cabinet or use paper cups out of a dispenser, bottom of cups up. When you flush the toilet what you just left in the toilet becomes aerosolized and travels as a misty vapor at least six feet from the toilet.
#73
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Must have been fun to explain to the cops. "See officer, I watch Discovery ID... Do you know how many serial killers are around?"
Katherine Dobias 3 years ago
this happens to me a lot when I watch too much criminal minds. I never call 911 though
#74
Candia Lee 3 years ago
I call fake. She orders a pizza, so she knows why he's there. Nobody answers the door and says nothing for 3 minutes. No delivery person is going to waste 3 minutes waiting for her to take her order without saying something.
#75
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
This person was "in class", so that's the most likeliest answer.
Load More Replies... Mel in Real Life 3 years ago
I call bull on this. They would never use that as a challenge question. Usually it is things like where did you go to elementry school or the name of your first best friend.
#76
IeabellAlakar@aqueenofaplanet 3 years ago
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago
Kidney stones maybe. I have heard they are excruciatingly painful.
Narwhal Blast 3 years ago
Hahahahahaha you made me think of the umbrella academy
Load More Replies... #77
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
I thought you were going to correct them because the idea there was a predicted end to the world in 2012 is not true anyway.
Ryan Deschanel 3 years ago
The real question is, why didn't somebody teach the teacher the basics of English?
TrashPandaSociety 3 years ago
It was predicted that the world would end in 2000, and all of the computers would shut off and anything that had a computer in it, like a train, car or airplane would stop working and crash. Y2K believers were super fun.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Y2K was the concern that computers would not be able to handle the transition from 1999 to 2000 because they only used the last two digits. Not that they would shut off, but that they would give inaccurate results. It was of great concern to programmers. Countries invested $$ to resolve the issue. I don't think trains, cars, or airplanes require accurate year input to prevent crashing.
Load More Replies... #78
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
You mean the date that 80% of the original inhabitants of Ontario left the States as loyalists and got a plot of land from the Crown? They know.
Load More Replies... #79
Laura Mende (Human) 3 years ago
And they discuss about this process, because the man with the new heart is a convict. He stabbed lots of people. And now they discuss if he is a guinea pig for a operation nobody else ever made.
memyselfandI 3 years ago
Well, if you’re going to die before a human transplant becomes available, you might as well try. I do hope they asked him for permission first though.
Load More Replies... Scagsy 3 years ago
My mate had a problem with his ear so he went to the specialist who advised a transplant using a pig's ear as they are biologically so close to humans. It all went well and my mate went to his follow-up appointment a few months later where the doctor asked him how his hearing was. My mate says 'This ear is perfect but this new ear, all I can hear is crackling'. True story.
#80
BasedWang 3 years ago
Hammy and Martha the hamster was one of the most bomb shows ever
Load More Replies... #81
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Is Helen the boss of the cul-de-sac BBQ? Do all the neighbours have to listen to Helen? Brittney did that to Caitlin because Caitlin's mother (Helen) is so controlling that she (Caitlin) became the bully of the cul-de-sac.
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 3 years ago
I Like the "hugs and kisses" part after all she said. What did Brittney did to the precious Caitlin.?
#82
NotTodaySatan!! 3 years ago
This is confusing. If it wasn't on when they got on it, how did they run "up" a moving escalator?
Monday 3 years ago
Energy saving, so it starts moving when someone gets on but is stationary all other times. The idea is you get on and wait, then it starts to move but since this guy didn't realize he probably made it up a few steps before the movement kicked in.
Load More Replies... Katherine Dobias 3 years ago
this happened to me before on an escalator that I thought was out of order I was halfway there when it started moving and I ran to the top to save myself a trip
#83
Sue Grigg 3 years ago
Tip to single guys: This is creepy and every woman would be creeped out by it.
TrashPandaSociety 3 years ago
Tip to all men in general: Women are not here to please you, service you or to fill your spank bank. We do not exist on planet Earth just for you. Stop being gross and creepy. Stop hitting on us. Stop sending us d**k picks. Stop asking for dates or sexual favors. Stop becoming physically or verbally abusive and aggressive when we say 'no' to you.
Load More Replies... Katherine Dobias 3 years ago
that's scary. Whenever I give my phone number to a customer service representative I try to always check to see if anyone is eavesdropping
Monday 3 years ago
TIL that's a hugging emoji....I thought it was waving.
Load More Replies... #84
Scagsy 3 years ago (edited)
Same thing happened to me. I had booked a cab from their office and then gone back out to wait for it to arrive. It was dark and a car turned up so I chucked my sportsbag (with all my dirty sportswear in it) into the back and settled in for the ride. I gave the driver the address and we set off. It occurred to me that I needed milk so I asked if we could call at the local petrol station which we did. I left my bag in the car and when I came back out the car was gone. Fortunately, my bag was found by the police with everything still in it. I rang the taxi office and they confirmed that I had not been in one of their cars. I learnt a lesson that day.
Load More Replies...
Two Silly Pups 3 years ago
This reminds me of my friend who got so drunk she decided to take a taxi home instead of walking. She saw this striped car, got in, they drove her home. The next morning, her mother asked her why did the police bring her home, and she said 'I thought it was weird there were two men in the car!' 🤣
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Taxis have meters, a prominently displayed hack license, door signage, and often a plastic divider between driver and passenger. Why would she think a car with none of these was a taxi? She should have said Uber to make her story believable.
Dorothy Parker 3 years ago (edited)
These people ^^^^^^^^ vvvvvvv were all lucky to still be alive!
#85
#86
Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
The OP got a text from someone at work, screenshot it, and attempted to send it to a friend with a nasty comment. But they sent it to the work person instead.
Load More Replies... #87
Davo gifman 3 years ago
Really!? This is the same as #40 . Ether BP is slipping, or this therapist sure gets around!??
#88
Art3mis 3 years ago
omfg i cannot stop laughing i see what u did there...
Load More Replies...
#89
Sleazy Weaver 3 years ago
& it wasn't even funny the first time either...
Load More Replies... #90
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
This comment happens to be a duplicate of a another comment before!!??🤔🤔
Load More Replies... Add New Image
What do you think ?
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I did a FANTASTIC one this week. On Monday, I joined a new choir. For a woman, I have a deep voice and I sing tenor. We were working on a song where baritones and tenors were singing together. She wanted to be considerate of me, so she kept saying, "Gentlemen and Jo" every time, and it prompted people to look at me. I didn't want the extra attention. So after practice, I decided to let her know I was okay for her to just lump me in with the men and not call me out specifically. I put on my mask and it was quite high up near my eyes. I went over to her, not sure how to phrase my request, I reached out to touch her arm, but because my mask was up so high, I ended up grabbing her breast while saying, "It's okay, you can call me a man." My life.
Monsieur Joey 3 years ago
At work, somebody with a deep smoker voice (i don't know how to say that in english, sorry) call me and I say "What can I do for you, mister ?". The voice responded : "In fact, I'm a woman, I have throat cancer". Even 3 years after that, I feel bad.
Darcy Marie 3 years ago
At one of my old retail jobs I would occasionally answer the phone and after the normal into of hi this is my name thanks for calling this business I would either say "how can I help you?" Or "what can I do for you today?" Once I was working late and answered the phone and skipped the whole intro and blurted "HOW CAN I DO YOU?" I just handed the phone to my coworker and walked away.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago
Simple and effective solution, I like it! 😂😂😂😂👍
Load More Replies...
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I was Target last week and saw a woman holding a blanket wrapped bundle with something black peeking out and wiggling. I knew right away she had a puppy in her bundle so I ran up to her and said, "can I pet it?" She said, "What?" I said, "Can I pet?? and pointed to the bundle in her arms. I reached my hand out for scritches and at that exact moment, I realized it was a baby in a panda hat and not a puppy. I had just asked this woman if I could pet her baby. I had to abandon my cart and leave the store.
Dirk Daring 3 years ago
I was online with a chat-based customer support rep. They completely solved the problem. So at the end of the conversation, he wrote, "Have a nice day." I wrote back, "Thanks, you tool." IMMEDIATELY corrected myself, "SORRY I mean you TOO. You are not a tool!" I closed the convo window and just (⚆_⚆)
Beeps 3 years ago
I used to have to go through a customer survey with people. One question was “And how did you find us?” (ie internet search/yellow pages, friend’s recommendation, etc) and someone once answered: “yeah, you’re fine”
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
5th grade and I was giving a report on aircraft manufacturers. Airplane parts came out airplane farts. In the fifth grade! Its been over 50 years but I'm pretty sure that's when my life started going to s**t.
Brenna Edgin 3 years ago
I was walking to my dad's car after school and walked up to a car and tugged the door handle the woman inside looked at me like I was a murderer I could not get away fast enough
MrsC 3 years ago
My husband hates pineapple. At a fancy dinner with my mom and in-laws, hubby picks up his fruit plate to offer me his "piece of pineapple". Instead of saying that, he said "want my penus?".
Scarlett 3 years ago
This was not a good thread to read while drinking seltzer. Anyway, I have one. My friends went on the Ferris wheel so I stood at the bottom and waved at them every time they went around (we were 12). The wheel stops and this couple in the seat right below them gets off and walks past me. I hear the girl say “Why the hell was that random kid waving at us?” That still keeps me awake at 2 in the morning.
Jason Alexander 3 years ago
If anything they should be embarrassed thinking that you were waving at them and not realizing you were probably waving at someone sitting either above or below them, tbh.
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
I did a FANTASTIC one this week. On Monday, I joined a new choir. For a woman, I have a deep voice and I sing tenor. We were working on a song where baritones and tenors were singing together. She wanted to be considerate of me, so she kept saying, "Gentlemen and Jo" every time, and it prompted people to look at me. I didn't want the extra attention. So after practice, I decided to let her know I was okay for her to just lump me in with the men and not call me out specifically. I put on my mask and it was quite high up near my eyes. I went over to her, not sure how to phrase my request, I reached out to touch her arm, but because my mask was up so high, I ended up grabbing her breast while saying, "It's okay, you can call me a man." My life.
Monsieur Joey 3 years ago
At work, somebody with a deep smoker voice (i don't know how to say that in english, sorry) call me and I say "What can I do for you, mister ?". The voice responded : "In fact, I'm a woman, I have throat cancer". Even 3 years after that, I feel bad.
Darcy Marie 3 years ago
At one of my old retail jobs I would occasionally answer the phone and after the normal into of hi this is my name thanks for calling this business I would either say "how can I help you?" Or "what can I do for you today?" Once I was working late and answered the phone and skipped the whole intro and blurted "HOW CAN I DO YOU?" I just handed the phone to my coworker and walked away.
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago
Simple and effective solution, I like it! 😂😂😂😂👍
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 3 years ago
I was Target last week and saw a woman holding a blanket wrapped bundle with something black peeking out and wiggling. I knew right away she had a puppy in her bundle so I ran up to her and said, "can I pet it?" She said, "What?" I said, "Can I pet?? and pointed to the bundle in her arms. I reached my hand out for scritches and at that exact moment, I realized it was a baby in a panda hat and not a puppy. I had just asked this woman if I could pet her baby. I had to abandon my cart and leave the store.
Dirk Daring 3 years ago
I was online with a chat-based customer support rep. They completely solved the problem. So at the end of the conversation, he wrote, "Have a nice day." I wrote back, "Thanks, you tool." IMMEDIATELY corrected myself, "SORRY I mean you TOO. You are not a tool!" I closed the convo window and just (⚆_⚆)
Beeps 3 years ago
I used to have to go through a customer survey with people. One question was “And how did you find us?” (ie internet search/yellow pages, friend’s recommendation, etc) and someone once answered: “yeah, you’re fine”
Kenny Kulbiski 3 years ago
5th grade and I was giving a report on aircraft manufacturers. Airplane parts came out airplane farts. In the fifth grade! Its been over 50 years but I'm pretty sure that's when my life started going to s**t.
Brenna Edgin 3 years ago
I was walking to my dad's car after school and walked up to a car and tugged the door handle the woman inside looked at me like I was a murderer I could not get away fast enough
MrsC 3 years ago
My husband hates pineapple. At a fancy dinner with my mom and in-laws, hubby picks up his fruit plate to offer me his "piece of pineapple". Instead of saying that, he said "want my penus?".
Scarlett 3 years ago
This was not a good thread to read while drinking seltzer. Anyway, I have one. My friends went on the Ferris wheel so I stood at the bottom and waved at them every time they went around (we were 12). The wheel stops and this couple in the seat right below them gets off and walks past me. I hear the girl say “Why the hell was that random kid waving at us?” That still keeps me awake at 2 in the morning.
Jason Alexander 3 years ago
If anything they should be embarrassed thinking that you were waving at them and not realizing you were probably waving at someone sitting either above or below them, tbh.
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