Gertrude Lee
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I am a 34-year-old government politician who enjoys working on cars, jigsaw puzzles and adult colouring books. I am friendly and loveable. I am a Swedish Christian and define myself as bisexual. I have a degree in philosophy, politics and economics. Single and ready to mingle.
Gertrude Lee • upvoted 13 items 1 year ago
Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
Online date, a friend's wife worked with him and while I'd initially said "No", I finally agreed. We were to meet for dinner at 8:00 pm. He was 20 minutes late. I was standing up to leave when a gentleman walks in, when he sees me he says, "Shelly?" When I looked up at him I had no idea who he was. Then he says his name! The picture on his profile must been from 25 years ago! I'm there, so we get seated. As we're sitting there he begins the conversation by saying the following in a VALLEY GIRL ACCENT "Oh my GAWD, you look just like your picture.". I know I'm in for a long night. I flag the waitress and ask for a glass of wine (I normally don't drink on first dates/meet ups). Suddenly he's on the phone and say's, "Yah, she's right here!" and hands me his phone. I'm absolutely clueless, then I hear a young girl say, "I'm so & so's daughter. I want to know what your intentions are for my dad!". I'm gobsmacked, I've know idea why he did this. I mumble some platitudes & hand the phone back. Now we're ordering, I've had gastric bypass, so I'm not a big eater. I'm torn between halibut and prime rib. Before I could say anything to the waitress he jumps in and orders BOTH halibut and prime rib. I immediately tell him I won't be able to eat all of it. "Take a doggy bag home." The whole night was filled with him talking like he was a Valley Girl. We're done and he's walking me out to my vehicle, when he says, "I really thought you'd drive a truck since you snow machine. But your Neon is cute!" How in the he!! does he know what I drive? I was there 20 minutes waiting for him. Thoroughly freaked out I say, "You know, I'm going to head back in to use the ladies room." Before he could say anything I beat a hasty retreat inside, where I waited for an hour before I had an acquaintance escort me back out. He called repeatedly, his FIVE kids called me (his profile said he had 3). I finally sent him ANOTHER email where I unequivocally stated I wasn't interested in pursuing ANY type of relationship with him. My online dating period are somewhat a study of what men shouldn't do when they post a profile AND decide who they're going to reach out to! Especially if you DON'T have any of the traits she's looking for in a partner!Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
The cringiest. I was so in awe that I'd finally got a date with my new girlfriend that I sat in a pub with a daft puppy dog expression, saying "I can't believe this is happening" Amazingly we survived that terrible date and it didn't put her off. We were married 4 years later (I tend to think that the 4 years were her making sure I didn't do anything that sickly from thereon!)Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
Online date, a friend's wife worked with him and while I'd initially said "No", I finally agreed. We were to meet for dinner at 8:00 pm. He was 20 minutes late. I was standing up to leave when a gentleman walks in, when he sees me he says, "Shelly?" When I looked up at him I had no idea who he was. Then he says his name! The picture on his profile must been from 25 years ago! I'm there, so we get seated. As we're sitting there he begins the conversation by saying the following in a VALLEY GIRL ACCENT "Oh my GAWD, you look just like your picture.". I know I'm in for a long night. I flag the waitress and ask for a glass of wine (I normally don't drink on first dates/meet ups). Suddenly he's on the phone and say's, "Yah, she's right here!" and hands me his phone. I'm absolutely clueless, then I hear a young girl say, "I'm so & so's daughter. I want to know what your intentions are for my dad!". I'm gobsmacked, I've know idea why he did this. I mumble some platitudes & hand the phone back. Now we're ordering, I've had gastric bypass, so I'm not a big eater. I'm torn between halibut and prime rib. Before I could say anything to the waitress he jumps in and orders BOTH halibut and prime rib. I immediately tell him I won't be able to eat all of it. "Take a doggy bag home." The whole night was filled with him talking like he was a Valley Girl. We're done and he's walking me out to my vehicle, when he says, "I really thought you'd drive a truck since you snow machine. But your Neon is cute!" How in the he!! does he know what I drive? I was there 20 minutes waiting for him. Thoroughly freaked out I say, "You know, I'm going to head back in to use the ladies room." Before he could say anything I beat a hasty retreat inside, where I waited for an hour before I had an acquaintance escort me back out. He called repeatedly, his FIVE kids called me (his profile said he had 3). I finally sent him ANOTHER email where I unequivocally stated I wasn't interested in pursuing ANY type of relationship with him. My online dating period are somewhat a study of what men shouldn't do when they post a profile AND decide who they're going to reach out to! Especially if you DON'T have any of the traits she's looking for in a partner!Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
The cringiest. I was so in awe that I'd finally got a date with my new girlfriend that I sat in a pub with a daft puppy dog expression, saying "I can't believe this is happening" Amazingly we survived that terrible date and it didn't put her off. We were married 4 years later (I tend to think that the 4 years were her making sure I didn't do anything that sickly from thereon!)Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
Well. My whole grade had gone for a feild trip and on the way back on the bus I was doing a wordsearch on the bus, and my crush came over and started helping me, and behind us my friends were making hearts with their hands and my crush's friend starts screaming "I SHIP YA'LL" to which my crush replied "Wtf no, have u seen the height difference?!" He's 5 feet n im 5'4. Bro hasn't had a growth spurt in 3 years according to his friends. GrOw Tf Up B****Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
There was four of us in high school, all friends, who all fancied the same girl. We had to talk it out over who would be the one to approach the girl. None of us factored in the possibility that she might have her own opinion and fancy someone else entirely.
Hey Pandas, What Would You Do If You Got Superpowers?
Nothing legal, you don't want me to have super powers
Hey Pandas, What Was Your ‘Gay Awakening’?
I was working on a new policy document at work, mid 20s, and with an intern called Julia she was around 22, long black hair, deep natural red lips and the most perfect thighs, as her legs crossed over and her short skirt let my eyes wander up to the start of her panties. It was getting very late and we were frustrated at the day. I’d only ever been into men, really. I noticed women of course but never acted. Julia and I were getting warm in the room, it was summer and the air wasn’t cooling. My T-shirt was sticking to me and I think you could see my nipples very prominently through it. I walked over to Julia to grab some documents and I brushed against her soft silky hair. I lingered. I sighed. The heat overwhelmed me and I dropped my guard. She put her hand onto mine, and guided it downwards, underneath her skirt. Everything was hot to the touch, and I just gave in. She lifted her skirt up and I pulled her panties off as fast as I could and passionately licked her out. We were absolutely sweating and then she stood up, grabbed me and got me on the desk, and put her 2 fingers up me. We kissed and played and made each other orgasm intensely. It was wonderful. I still love men but I’m also addicted to women too.Show All 13 Upvotes
Gertrude Lee • commented on 22 posts 1 year ago
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Gertrude Lee • commented on 20 posts 1 year ago
Gertrude Lee • upvoted 20 items 1 year ago
Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
Online date, a friend's wife worked with him and while I'd initially said "No", I finally agreed. We were to meet for dinner at 8:00 pm. He was 20 minutes late. I was standing up to leave when a gentleman walks in, when he sees me he says, "Shelly?" When I looked up at him I had no idea who he was. Then he says his name! The picture on his profile must been from 25 years ago! I'm there, so we get seated. As we're sitting there he begins the conversation by saying the following in a VALLEY GIRL ACCENT "Oh my GAWD, you look just like your picture.". I know I'm in for a long night. I flag the waitress and ask for a glass of wine (I normally don't drink on first dates/meet ups). Suddenly he's on the phone and say's, "Yah, she's right here!" and hands me his phone. I'm absolutely clueless, then I hear a young girl say, "I'm so & so's daughter. I want to know what your intentions are for my dad!". I'm gobsmacked, I've know idea why he did this. I mumble some platitudes & hand the phone back. Now we're ordering, I've had gastric bypass, so I'm not a big eater. I'm torn between halibut and prime rib. Before I could say anything to the waitress he jumps in and orders BOTH halibut and prime rib. I immediately tell him I won't be able to eat all of it. "Take a doggy bag home." The whole night was filled with him talking like he was a Valley Girl. We're done and he's walking me out to my vehicle, when he says, "I really thought you'd drive a truck since you snow machine. But your Neon is cute!" How in the he!! does he know what I drive? I was there 20 minutes waiting for him. Thoroughly freaked out I say, "You know, I'm going to head back in to use the ladies room." Before he could say anything I beat a hasty retreat inside, where I waited for an hour before I had an acquaintance escort me back out. He called repeatedly, his FIVE kids called me (his profile said he had 3). I finally sent him ANOTHER email where I unequivocally stated I wasn't interested in pursuing ANY type of relationship with him. My online dating period are somewhat a study of what men shouldn't do when they post a profile AND decide who they're going to reach out to! Especially if you DON'T have any of the traits she's looking for in a partner!Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
The cringiest. I was so in awe that I'd finally got a date with my new girlfriend that I sat in a pub with a daft puppy dog expression, saying "I can't believe this is happening" Amazingly we survived that terrible date and it didn't put her off. We were married 4 years later (I tend to think that the 4 years were her making sure I didn't do anything that sickly from thereon!)Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
Well. My whole grade had gone for a feild trip and on the way back on the bus I was doing a wordsearch on the bus, and my crush came over and started helping me, and behind us my friends were making hearts with their hands and my crush's friend starts screaming "I SHIP YA'LL" to which my crush replied "Wtf no, have u seen the height difference?!" He's 5 feet n im 5'4. Bro hasn't had a growth spurt in 3 years according to his friends. GrOw Tf Up B****Hey Pandas, What’s Your Biggest Romantic Embarrassment?
There was four of us in high school, all friends, who all fancied the same girl. We had to talk it out over who would be the one to approach the girl. None of us factored in the possibility that she might have her own opinion and fancy someone else entirely.
Funny, Jokes
“My Anxiety Has A Loophole”: 50 Memes About Social Anxiety That Explain How Certain Minds Work
Hey Pandas, What Would You Do If You Got Superpowers?
Nothing legal, you don't want me to have super powersHey Pandas, What Was Your ‘Gay Awakening’?
I was working on a new policy document at work, mid 20s, and with an intern called Julia she was around 22, long black hair, deep natural red lips and the most perfect thighs, as her legs crossed over and her short skirt let my eyes wander up to the start of her panties. It was getting very late and we were frustrated at the day. I’d only ever been into men, really. I noticed women of course but never acted. Julia and I were getting warm in the room, it was summer and the air wasn’t cooling. My T-shirt was sticking to me and I think you could see my nipples very prominently through it. I walked over to Julia to grab some documents and I brushed against her soft silky hair. I lingered. I sighed. The heat overwhelmed me and I dropped my guard. She put her hand onto mine, and guided it downwards, underneath her skirt. Everything was hot to the touch, and I just gave in. She lifted her skirt up and I pulled her panties off as fast as I could and passionately licked her out. We were absolutely sweating and then she stood up, grabbed me and got me on the desk, and put her 2 fingers up me. We kissed and played and made each other orgasm intensely. It was wonderful. I still love men but I’m also addicted to women too.This Panda has no followers yet