“Left Her A Note Signed ‘What Did You Expect?’”: Roommate Gets A Taste Of Her Own Medicine After Woman She Bullied Decides To Move Out
Some things just happen in life which we have no control over. We didn’t ask for it, we didn’t deserve it, we didn’t anticipate it. In those very moments, having a close support network, be it friends or family, is crucial. Easier to navigate a boat on a rough sea when you have someone helping you out.
But when those people turn their back on you, ridiculing you for your feelings rather than helping you deal with them, one has to make the very tough decision of leaving such people behind. One proud mother decided to share her daughter’s story on the r/PettyRevenge subreddit, and hundreds of people came to offer their support.
Although this may seem like a very vague way to start the article, it’ll make a lot of sense once we get into the story. Make sure you stick around to read the similar experiences from fellow netizens, and leave your own thoughts and stories in the comments below. If you want more, here’s another article. Now let’s dive in!
Having a parent diagnosed with cancer can rain down on one like a ton of bricks, leading to panic attacks and a need for someone to be there for you
Image source: Zhivko Minkov (not the actual photo)
However, when petty drama comes before being an understanding friend, things can get very messy, as they did in this story of petty revenge
Image source: imagesourcecurated (not the actual photo)
Image source: seventyfourimages (not the actual photo)
Image source: burghroot
As stated by MayoClinic, a panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening for everyone involved, as one might think they’re losing control, having a heart attack or even dying.
Panic attacks may come on suddenly and without warning at first, but over time, they’re usually triggered by certain situations. Some researchers believe that it’s caused by the body’s natural fight-or-flight response to danger, although there may not be an obvious danger present. Highly traumatic events in life can lead to these developing, as it happened to the daughter in the story.
To be the devil’s advocate, it can be really difficult when someone is experiencing anxiety or panic attacks, especially when one is unfamiliar with the symptoms. However, one should never put more pressure on a person struggling, as the roommate did.
Instead, if you actually care about the person having a panic attack, try to stay calm. The Help Guide instructs to gently encourage them to breathe slowly and deeply, asking them to watch while you gently raise your arm up and down, and to encourage them to sit somewhere quietly where they can focus on their breath until they feel better. You should never encourage someone to breathe into a paper bag during a panic attack, as it may not be safe.
If you’re ever struck with an anxiety or panic attack, Mind.org.uk has some advice. Focus on your breathing and concentrate on slowing down your breath, inhaling and exhaling on the count of 5. Some people say that stomping on the spot helps them reset their breathing pattern and get back in control. Lastly, focus on your senses. Mint-flavored sweets and gum, or the soft touch of a plushie can help with grounding.
If you find that they’re becoming a common occurrence, rather than a one-off, make sure you speak with your doctor or therapist, so that you can get on the right path to healing. Life is never easy, especially when you’re fighting the good fight alone. Having a parent diagnosed with cancer is hard-hitting, and the best you can do is take care of yourself and be there as much as you can.
We wish the family all the best and hope the mom wins the fight with cancer. Hoping the daughter has a smooth healing journey as well! Let us know your thoughts on this story in the comments below and I shall see you in the next one!
Dozens of people came to support the mom and daughter, praising the latter for how she handled the situation, and sharing their own stories
There were those that empathized with the roommate, however. Leave us your thoughts on this story in the comments!
Cant belive some of the awful comments they left the mom. Horrid. Humans can be despicable. Makes me extremely sad.
It sounds like the girl is having difficulties. It's possible the friends have become different and less caring. Or it's possible the girl has changed due to the additional stress of the cancer diagnosis, and the other girls simply cannot cope, or don't have the empathy, yet. I don't even want to think what I was like at that age. I certainly didn't have the empathy or experience to care for someone who had serious psychological issues. The last comment is very balanced. It's just a sad situation. And it's broken up the friendsships, Shame.
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Well, as some comments said, we only have one side of the story. No matter how the issue has been, yes they handle it very badly but we have no idea if the girls indeed tried to signal that they couldnt cope or not. I wonder if it had been a long process of nightly calls, hour long talk and simply to much grief and anxeity to handle for the friends. The therapist wasnt enough, but I wish they could have sat down with a neutral part who could habe helped them found a balance between a level of support they where comfortable with and her needs. All have life, studies and own problem. And is very young. The option to simply go no contact may have been very tempting.
I don't know about that. The roommate joining the group, being a friend while the other girls backed out, and then finally turning. That all sounds like triangulation. It sounds like the new girl turned them all against OP 's daughter, so she could have control over someone vulnerable. It just didn't work because the daughter had a way out, and took it. I understand the girls might not have been able to handle Daughter's stress, but clearly disregarding a request for them to not come over during work/finals days is just beyond disrespectful and signals something else besides the friends being overwhelmed.
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Very sad. Some people can be truly awful. Wishing the person the very best.
Absolutely! People can be downright heartless. Luckily there are still good people in this world. If anyone finds them, let me know!
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A lot of people don't understand mental health issues and that people are not acting out on purpose. It can be a very humiliating experience to have a panic attack in front of someone, and it certainly doesn't help to put them down for it. The most important thing is to stay calm yourself when you are around someone having a panic attack. Don't make it into a big deal. Just be there as support because it will pass. Because I have had them before, when I once encountered another person having one I immediately recognized it and made sure that she didn't feel bad about the way she was reacting and just told her that it would be okay. I don't think she even knew what was happening to her, but I was able to help her through it.
I had a roommate who struggled with a lot of issues and was in therapy. She was a really nice gal, but hard to live with. On her day of therapy we all tiptoed throguh the appartment. So many tears and lang night conversations. I liked her a lot, yet, I was still relieved when she moved out. I'm not saying that what the roommate did was ok. It wasn't at all. Misusing the word toxic for someone who simply struggles is just vile. However, we cannot expect friends, especailly really young people, to be able to handle people with sever psychological issues. One of my best friends has a chronic disease. Many of her old friends dropped away because she is not the person she used to be. I've never known her any other way, so I am used to her state. Yes, friends should be there in times of a crisis. But they are also neither carers or therapists and equipped to handle ongoing needs. We cannot drop any burden mo mmatter how big on our frineds just because they like us.
Except it can be toxic. Friendship goes two ways and if the entire relationship becomes about the mental health of one friend, it can contribute to poor mental health of the other. Obviously some people are just struggling, but sometimes it crosses a line into something worse.
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I can see both sides on this one. The daughter obviously has ongoing mental health issues that are being exacerbated by the news of her mother's cancer. It makes sense for her to try to reach out to friends, and roommates comment was out of line, regardless. On the other hand, I get the impression that she may have been doing this a lot, and constantly having to talk someone off a cliff is emotionally draining. honestly, it sounds like she should have put off school for a bit. She doesn't seem equipped to handle the extra stress right now, if her panic attacks are so easily triggered, despite 10 years of therapy. Truthfully, I'd start to feel manipulated as a friend if every confrontation led to an immediate panic attacks. She may not be able to help it, (I would think therapy would give her better tools though) but others shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and submit to every request either. It's roommates home too. Moving out was probably best for both of them.
While these were definitely not friends I'd wish for my daughter, I'm guessing they are also 19yo and definitely not equipped to support someone with panic attacks because their mother might die. I wouldn't want my daughter to have "friends" like that, but I also wouldn't want her to be therapist to someone at that age and life-experience level. The daughter needs professional help, someone to talk to who can teach her how to cope.
She's had a therapist since she was 8. Apparently not a very good one... I agree that the friends shouldn't have been her dumping ground, but they trampled all over someone already in a vulnerable position, and that makes them less entitled to full sympathy. She also made one request, which was ignored, panicked and was further ridiculed, so yeah, she moved out.
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If you are a friend and your friend is going through something be honest. You can say Sam I really want to be here for you but I'm not any good when you have a panic attack. It scare's me and I don't know what to do. This gives Jan information and she can say May be you can hold me?Give me space for a few hours. Bring ice cream? But don't leave your friend just hanging. You could give her a hug and tell her you will call later. This is why I don't like being around people. This type of sh*t some people do is just beyond me. I like to be left alone. But when you have a friend that is in/or having trouble don't leave them for your insecurities!! Someday you may have a panic attack!
This story sounds EXTREMELY one sided. I am sure there is more to this. I have a feeling these "bad" friends had good reasons. I am sorry for the woman but I have a feeling her daughter may be a b****.
I partially agree with you. The story is extremely one sided and the comment from the roommate seems strange without any context. But I can imagine the roommate might misinterpret her panic attack as some form of manipulation. Her roommate didn’t side with anyone she just wanted to invite her friends over in her house. Having a psychiatric disorder is extremely difficult to have. But it is also difficult for people around them. Especially when you are young yourself. There must be more this story.
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Unpopular opinion but I bet the roommate and friends are much better off with this woman gone from their lives, who despite being in therapy is NOT able to handle normal life. Therapy since 8???? Her mothers cancer is horrible, but I've lost a parent to cancer in college and had a child with cancer - life goes on. How do we know the friends aren't going through similar stuff with their family???? I hope the mother get great treatment and the daughter figures her sh*t out.
I’m glad the daughter moved out and took all the amenities that belong to her and in her name. It’s bad enough to deal with health issues but to have someone stabbing you in the back at the same time doesn’t help.
Whilst I agree that going to college at a time when your mother is diagnosed with cancer must be extremely difficult, I can also see the roommates point of view. She is there to study, experience new things and meet new people and is just becoming an adult so the struggles of a practical stranger are really not her problem. I don’t understand why her long term friends would abandon her in favour of her new roommate though. My friend lost her mother to cancer when we were college age. There were 8 of us and we stuck together. We were a family. 3 of us had lost a parent prior to this so we may have been in a better position to empathise but I can’t imagine abandoning a friend who needed me. I’m sure we had different values 30 years ago but I believe they were better values and people were much more compassionate.
I think a lot of these folks lack common courtesy. These days, people are a******s, & very few of us are willing to be inconvenienced for someone else’s sake. It’s really unfortunate.
I think your right, I'm long out of my twenties, but it seemed people had more compassion (in general) than today. Deterioration of society, poor social skills from growing up with social media. The kids are being taught "group think", at the cost of critical thinking. Also being taught self absorption.
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yeah no, im with the friends on this. if all your long-time friends suddenly distance themselves, you need to take a long hard look at yourself & wonder why. those girls were just trying to get through their first year of college & the daughter was making them deal with her anxiety & panic attacks, which are a LOT for friends to handle. i have full-blown ptsd from playing personal therapist/suicide watch literally 24/7 for my "best friend" for four years, which resulted in me becoming extremely depressed & suicidal myself. yeah, daughter's situation is sad, but it isn't her friends' responsibility to help her through it outside of therapy sessions if it takes a toll on their own well-being, & from the sounds of it, daughter was a huge drain on her friends. i wish the mom well with her battle against cancer, but her daughter needs to learn that other people have hardships & mental health issues too, & they may not be able to deal with hers for her as well as their own.
I had to learn about everything you described myself, and I know I'm not always so easy to deal with. I was clinically diagnosed with the whole pot pie, from ADHD, OCD and ODD, alongside paranoid personality disorder with narcissistic and antisocial features, however instead of trying to use all that as a Get-Outta-Jail-Free I try to remember how my actions affect other people, and I had to learn that from a Manager. She told me that my tardiness was making her son late to his job because he depended on her for rides, while I never met the guy. There is no telling what kind of impact she might have inadvertently inflicted on people she didn't know, let alone her friends.
Load More Replies... If you turn your back on a friend when they need you most, you are a s****y person, period. One of the main things wrong with the USA today. Lots of people have decided in the name of "self-care" that other people having feelings is "toxic." No one in this story was asking 19 year olds to be therapists, just friends. But they're only fair weather friends
yeah right. when i was almost 17, i finally cut contact with my friend who has bipolar disorder & early onset schizophrenia because they would force me to stay awake 24/7 for 4 entire years so i would always be available to help them through panic attacks, hallucinations, & suicide attempts. i became terrified of what would happen if i left because someone else's life was in my hands, but i was a goddamn child & couldn't take care of my own mental health anymore. i still suffer from severe depression, ptsd, flashbacks, suicidal thoughts, & a ton of guilt & anxiety for daring to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship. yes, my friend "needed" me & i "turned my back" on them, but what would've happened if i had stayed? i would be dead by now. no exaggeration. i would've taken my own life at a very early age. hell, i attempted a year after getting away due to the ptsd! don't you DARE guilt people for recognizing their own needs & valuing their own lives.
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Obviously her friends were not as close as she thought they were. But there is a message that shouldn't be ignored. Oftentimes when people have panic attacks and such there is expectations that their friends are there for them To talk to or comfort or sometimes even advise. If this young lady has a lot of episodes, it can become too much drama for someone who is just trying to "get through" the college experience. Expecting your friends to change their life to cater to you can be unfair also. But...that does not have to end friendships. A good friend can just say "I don't feel qualified to help you with this issue. Is there anyone I can call on your behalf?" A little empathy can go a long way in maintaining friendships. To me; I don't think these were ever the friends she thought or hoped they were and at the same time it appears that the episodes were frequent and that can put a burden on the strongest of bonds. I hope she finds the tools necessary to deal with her issues.
Too much drama in college??? Haha. Perhaps an issue is that this girl has others empathetic attention ... and it's too much for these mean girls.
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My mother battled cancer for 15 years from the time I was 7, she died when I was 21. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life and have often had major event after major event happen. I have had people that I was trying to maintain friendships that had to take a step back. It hurt like hell but I never faulted them for it. It's not my choice to make.
Sounds like Mom's side of story, would be interesting to hear from the daughters friends......
I lost my 2 best friends when I was diagnosed with depression and started missing school. They just stopped talking to me and inviting me out. I made other friends though as there's always going to be people who are understanding as much as there's always gonna be people who don't believe people have mental health issues. I agree this story sounds a little strange; why would all her friends stop being her friend cos she was having panic attacks cos her Mum had cancer? Seems very strange!
If her behaviour substantially changed, and became difficult to deal with, how can kids of 19/20 deal with that? I think going to college at that point in her life was too much for her. Sad events coinciding to make it a difficult time.
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This is a tough one, and made difficult due to a complete lack of information. Was this really malicious manipulation from a roommate from hell, or was the daughter's behavior much more caustic than what is being let on? Sounds like the daughter already has/had a lot of help, and there's certainly a lot of leeway for someone with these issues while dealing with some difficult circumstances. Overall very unfortunate all round.
Nobody can provide any sort of "informed opinion" (if you will) without knowing the roommates side.
If EVERYONE in your social circle turns on you, you're likely the problem. You cannot dictate to someone who is living in a space and paying rent who they can have over as a guest. I think the actions of the daughter actually show exactly what everyone was getting at. She does sound toxic.
I count myself as a very compassionate person. I've had compassion shown to me also. That said, there comes a time when you have to take a good look at your actions and maybe realize that you've become TOO needy, or prone to drama (such as ongoing panic attacks)and lean on professionals equipped to handle emotional issues. Most college students have a lot going on and a friend who is always blue, downcast, dramatic, helpless and needy requires a whole lot of energy to deal with regularly. I'm saying this as someone who WAS an emotional wreck at one point and had a good enough to be honest friend point out my behavior in a kind but straightforward way. It sounds like past issues have set up the daughter to be a bit overly dramatic and emotional. A panic attack at people being over to the house (people she knew) is a sign that the daughter needs to continue therapy, and perhaps be on medication for a while until she learns coping skills, etc.
I have to side with the friends on this one... Why did 4 separate people reach their breaking point? Why has she been in therapy since the age of 8 (more than half her life) but still is constantly having panic attacks? Attention. Which is completely obvious because of the "panic attack" when she came home to find her roommate had the audacity to not do as she was told... Quite frankly, her moving out in a snit was the best thing that ever happened to the roommate
Barakatbadger comment really showing that they’re, in fact, an awful friend/person. A fair few of my friends have had the misfortune of going through the cancer journey (and losing for a few of them). It’s hard to watch their fear, panic, and grief but damn it’s not hard to just be there with them, check on them, and when needed just give them space. To be a compassionate human being towards another.
Wow. This whole comments section is exactly why people still struggle with mental health. Lots of people just making excuses for the disrespectful ex-friends, and justifying abandoning a person in need, "because me me me," even when the final request was a reasonable one. What a warped sense of justice to keep saying, "Daughter should just get over it, or stop taking to her friends about it."
I think that a wise person is cautious about taking a one sided story and deciding it's the complete truth of the matter. Outside of how the mother "felt" about the situation, which colored her telling of the story, the facts we have are that her daughter has been in therapy since she was a child. She has some real stress in her life, and for whatever reason her lifelong friends and roommate don't want to associate with her. We can assume the daughter did tell her roommate that the old friends couldn't come over anymore. We can also assume if the friends had physically harmed the daughter or used nasty language the mother would have used that in the story to make her point. So the only things we know that were clearly expressed from the roommate were that the friends and roommate found the daughter's behavior/emotional needs toxic. The mere sight of her old friends caused a panic attack? What exactly did the girls do for that to be a reasonable reaction?
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She sounds like a needy drama queen! Everyone being against your behavior doesn't add up to you being the victim.
Proud of this girl! She did what she had to so she could feel happier!
Wow, they really sucked! Talk about fair weather friends. Can't imagine being so self-absorbed to leave a friend in such a trying time as your parent being diagnosed with cancer. I hope roommate learned something when she came home to an empty flat.
Not sure but it sounds like the roommate was exaggerating to win the friends all to herself.
I remember the middle of sixth grade, a boy in the neighboring class' mom died of breast cancer. He suddenly lost nearly all of his friends and people stayed away from him. It's like humans believe they can keep cancer away instinctively by being àssholes. Makes no sense to me. Trust me, death is still coming for us all.
And once again, this is why I don't have friends and never will. I am too broken for people to handle. I can not afford therapy anymore (Started therapy when I was 5, stopped when I was 25... didn't help... hell, my first therapist took her own life so that is likely my fault too). When I try to make friends, I stupidly lean on them for support and they get burnt out but I don't know what to do otherwise so... I will just avoid making friends and if my mental illness takes me away, all the better for everyone else on this planet.
See this is what they meant by toxic emotional needs. I'd the daughter was doing stuff like this then I can understand why her friends didn't want to be involved.
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A lease ain't a life sentence. Nothing saying you gotta put up with that c**p in a place where you pay rent. Unless you get married......
The daughter made a simple request regarding finals and visitors.. finals is literally a week. And depending on the type (test, essay, project,etc).. probably less than a week. Roommate needed to respect the boundaries of the OP's daughter or deal with her moving out like grown up and not try to call the cops for taking her own stuff
"We've got the chairs" is going to be my new go-to phrase when someone tries to start unnecessary BS/drama with myself and my partner/coworkers, and I know they have no leg to stand on. Like, "B*TCH, DON'T EVEN TRY THAT JERRY SPRINGER SH*T WITH US, WE GOT THE CHAIRS" 🤣
From what i can see there’s only one side of the story told by a person who didn’t live with the girls herself - so all she heard was from her daughter. Honestly, i think the girls supported her so far is already a very nice gesture of being friends; they are probably more relived now she has moved out.
These comments saying that roommate shouldn't tip toe around some panic attacks or emotional problems or just sympathising with the roommate are so nasty just like that roommate, I have no words. No one asks you to be a full time carer but have those people heard of empathy?? What kind of rotten human being makes someone else's suffering about them?? If roommate found it over bearing in any way, she simply could have had a gentle conversation and not label someone seeking support from their friends as toxic ect. To me, it just seems like the girl was going through a new rough situation (mum's cancer) and those 'friends' didn't find it positive to deal with.
Who would find panic attacks positive to deal with? Ya know, over time panic attacks can become triggering and scary for the witness so f*****g pardon them if they need space of their own.
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ESH The daughter sounds like a lot. It is not a roommate's responsibility to help manage her emotions or mental disorders, and it especially not a teenage roommate's responsibilities. The friends, a little bit, but likely not to the degree the daughter was wanting them to be. Young people nowadays are pretty supportive of mental health stuff, so I'm thinking she crossed a ton of boundaries to land in a place where she got dumped by the entire group. If she gets a panic attack just from seeing some acquaintances over, the girl has significant issues far beyond what these young people could handle, especially since she had professional support I likewise find the utter glee this mom shows at leaving a teen without water and utilities ugly. They could have gotten sufficient "revenge" by informing her of the move. And all they likely accomplished was proving that the friends were right: this girl is a flake and dramatic
There is a comfortable middle ground, where at first I could understand the girls’ reactions. Here in America, we still have residues of that tough independent spirit that it’s almost reminiscent of the British stiff upper lip, strong in the face of problems. But as soon as you mentioned that it was her reaction to your diagnosis of cancer well, that was it for me. I could really understand being very upset. Now I realize what an incredible opportunity that would’ve been for all those girls to have held hands and circling around about her softly gently laying hands on her and praying for her. Who knows~ a miracle might’ve happened that day.
First of all, very sorry to hear about anybody struggling with cancer. That said I am a believer of boundaries. Good life lesson for this girl to learn to gauge how much she can dump on her friends when they are also in school and trying to enjoy what's suppose to be the most carefree time of their lives. Sounds like she was over stepping her roommate boundaries as well by trying to regulate her roommates visitors, doors are pretty helpful lol. Her mothers wording and inability to see two sides to a situation tell us exactly where these problesms stem from. Hopefully some realistic person in her life can be blunt with her but also compassionate.
First off, sounds like roommate had no respect for boundaries for a simple and reasonable request. She's can live by herself if she wants people to come around anytime of day. That was an extremely rude what she said and deserved what she got. Friends are jerks. If you need to step back, you can gently let them know that you can't handle all of their problems and still be friends. I think new girl took advantage and turned her friends against her. Also, people may never overcome their issues despite years of therapy. Heartless people.
As someone with a panic disorder who has been getting better with therapy, you don't stop having them because you have been seeing a therapist. It is a long process to train your mind and body to cope with stress in a manageable way. Nobody chooses it and it isn't a character flaw. It is a medical condition. Yes, it can be a burden on others, but you do not need to be a therapist to help. You can help someone stay grounded to the present. Seeing as she is living on her own and living life, it cannot be as bad as her friends are making it out. Plus, it seems she has some awareness of what causes her attacks but her friends coldly ignored her reasonable requests. It would be rude to ignore her requests even if it wasn't due to her anxiety. Plus, it seems the "friends" themselves were a source of her anxiety. They were not just "unable to handle" her mental health difficulties. I cannot side with them at all.
So this girl had friends all through high school. Panic attacks and all. It all went south when this roommate became involved. There's a difference between taking a step back and being a total b!+ch. I'm glad she was able to get out of the toxic living space. She should have a safe place to live. These other girls sound very unreasonable and lead by the roommate.
Oh yeah, I had Panic Attacks, or something similar before, my Parents behaved similar to. Mocking my Behavior, teaming up on me, not leting me go back to my save Spaces. Its quiet traumatic. Currently try to find a Therapy place to work on that.
I think that the new friend was definitely saying some stuff to the old friends to make them just not want to be around the daughter. There are plenty of people who do that and it’s so freaking weird smh. Also it is totally reasonable for the daughter to not want the friends around due to her having work as well as finals it just seems like the new friend was a complete a hole. But overall I love a good revenge story and hope that the mother and daughter are doing well!!
Also the whole “they’re young they don’t know much about empathy” varies for people because I’m younger than those girls and know to be understanding of someone’s mental health issues, it doesn’t take rocket science to know when to be there for someone especially a long time friend.
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I also want to add a semi relevant story here. I lost my mom to a perticularly aggressive brain cancer in 2016, "Glioblastoma". If you know, then you know. It's same one Joe Bidens son and John McCain died from. It's survival rate is virtually non existent. It was hardest time my family has ever been thru. While maybe not as extreme as this poor girl, certain situations have triggered a type of panic attack and emotionally intense memories. Real friends understand this and should help you through it. Recently I attended a funeral for a father of a lifelong friend of mine and at the wake I experienced intense anxiety and had to take a walk for a bit and it wasn't a big deal and didn't even need to be explained to my friend. He automatically understood. I hope this girl gets some REAL friends like that.
Some people, especially those with little to no REAL life experience can be horribly insensitive when witnessing someone go through an actual emotionally traumatic experience. Sounds like these girls have no clue about the horrors of life. When their times come and they are faced with real problems and have nowhere to turn I hope they will finally understand how badly they acted toward this poor girl. I have a quick semi relevant story to add which I'll do in a seperate comment.
That Least-Conference commentor.. is very wrong. Just because they don't ont know people who would do this doesn't mean they don't exist. Age, gender, occupation; it has nothing to do with being a jerk. Whilst its true we could be missing some story, it's just as likely to be a small story with petty college drama.
Wtf is up with these s****y cut n paste posts where you can read it in proper order?
I am bipolar and I have PTSD. My own mother and siblings were horrible to me and walked out on me because they couldn't handle my panic attacks and episodes. I am grateful to have the dad that I did. Papa did not understand it very well but he was always very supportive of me and stood beside me through thick and thin and when I lost him to cancer it was devastating for me. My main support now is my best friend of 35 years. We met in high school and have gone to hell and back together. I recently had a very severe episode and my paranoia tried to tell me I was going to lose her. She said she's been with me this long why would she leave now? Through the grace of God, the love of my best friend, my counselors and my doctors, I am getting through each day. Your daughter is a very strong and wise woman and if I had one I would take off my hat to her.
Some people never grow out of the "high school mentality" and it seems like the "friends" may be those types. Since they cannot handle her "emotional needs" - they were never her friends to begin with. I had "friends" like that in high school. They acted like we were close but in reality, our friendship meant nothing to them. I would be willing to bet it's the roommate's fault, honestly. They became part of the friend group....so, that means they had no friends of their own, and thus it seems they may have done their best to phase OP's daughter out of the group to solidify their position in it. It's really sad, but it does happen.
I cannot imagine under ANY circumstances that would make me turn my back on a lifelong friend having mental health issues and now suffering panic attacks. Jeez people, give the human race SOME CREDIT! Those girls were and are the DEFINITION of "Mean Girls" here's a few examples 1) Discussing or talking about you with others of the same friend group 2) Not talking directly to your friend about how her mental health is effecting you. But freely complaining whenever she's not present. 3) Never taking into account she's been struggling since 8 with her mental health 4) Not being considerate of your roommates feelings, schedule and mental health when deciding to have people "spend the night". Especially people who've rejected her as a friend!
We heard from the girls mother, and NOBODY else. All we got is one side of the story from the most biased person out there (the girls loving mother). You are absolutely free to express your opinions, but keep in mind, you barely have half the story.
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The curtain is the decorative fabric layer that stays out of the shower and it can go in the washing machine, so not gross at all.
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I'm glad the girl moved and is safe now. Even without her panic attacks it sounds like these ex Friend mean girls are vile and the room mate is repulsive.
To who? The mom? I hate when people say this, but this is a one sided story and we don't have enough info to decide whether or not the friends are jerks.
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Respected ma'am I am a cancer survivor myself all these ups and downs make a person strong these are trials and error YOU CAN DO UR PRAYERS SINCERELY AND TREATMENT HAND IN HAND ILL PRAY FOR Both of U I myself had a panic attack when I was short of the rent amount for my basement but within a week I paid off THIS IS LIFE WHEN UR PURSE IS FULL WHEN YOU KEEP HELPING PEOPLE THE WHOLE WORLD IS YOUR FRIEND VERY FEW PEOPLE UNDERSTAND AND HELP IN TIMES OF NEED ITS ALWAYS YOU ALONE AND GOD ALMIGHTY YOUR SHADOW WILL ALSO LEAVE YOU IN BAD TIMES AND ITS YOU ALONE ONLY PRAYERS WILL HELP TRY TO GIVE A FEW MCDONALD MEALS TO HOMELESS AND A FEW APPLES BANANAS ETC HERE AND THERE DONT GIVE THEM MONEY THEY SPEND ON CC CIGARETTES AND OTHER ADDICTIONS YOUR DAUGHTER IS BOLD ENOUGH AND CAME OUT STRONG GOOD JOB VERY SOON SHE LL HAVE HER OWN JOB AND APT AND YOU WILL BE CURED OF CANCER MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU AMEEN KAUSER F GILANI
Cant belive some of the awful comments they left the mom. Horrid. Humans can be despicable. Makes me extremely sad.
It sounds like the girl is having difficulties. It's possible the friends have become different and less caring. Or it's possible the girl has changed due to the additional stress of the cancer diagnosis, and the other girls simply cannot cope, or don't have the empathy, yet. I don't even want to think what I was like at that age. I certainly didn't have the empathy or experience to care for someone who had serious psychological issues. The last comment is very balanced. It's just a sad situation. And it's broken up the friendsships, Shame.
Load More Replies... Well, as some comments said, we only have one side of the story. No matter how the issue has been, yes they handle it very badly but we have no idea if the girls indeed tried to signal that they couldnt cope or not. I wonder if it had been a long process of nightly calls, hour long talk and simply to much grief and anxeity to handle for the friends. The therapist wasnt enough, but I wish they could have sat down with a neutral part who could habe helped them found a balance between a level of support they where comfortable with and her needs. All have life, studies and own problem. And is very young. The option to simply go no contact may have been very tempting.
I don't know about that. The roommate joining the group, being a friend while the other girls backed out, and then finally turning. That all sounds like triangulation. It sounds like the new girl turned them all against OP 's daughter, so she could have control over someone vulnerable. It just didn't work because the daughter had a way out, and took it. I understand the girls might not have been able to handle Daughter's stress, but clearly disregarding a request for them to not come over during work/finals days is just beyond disrespectful and signals something else besides the friends being overwhelmed.
Load More Replies... Very sad. Some people can be truly awful. Wishing the person the very best.
Absolutely! People can be downright heartless. Luckily there are still good people in this world. If anyone finds them, let me know!
Load More Replies... A lot of people don't understand mental health issues and that people are not acting out on purpose. It can be a very humiliating experience to have a panic attack in front of someone, and it certainly doesn't help to put them down for it. The most important thing is to stay calm yourself when you are around someone having a panic attack. Don't make it into a big deal. Just be there as support because it will pass. Because I have had them before, when I once encountered another person having one I immediately recognized it and made sure that she didn't feel bad about the way she was reacting and just told her that it would be okay. I don't think she even knew what was happening to her, but I was able to help her through it.
I had a roommate who struggled with a lot of issues and was in therapy. She was a really nice gal, but hard to live with. On her day of therapy we all tiptoed throguh the appartment. So many tears and lang night conversations. I liked her a lot, yet, I was still relieved when she moved out. I'm not saying that what the roommate did was ok. It wasn't at all. Misusing the word toxic for someone who simply struggles is just vile. However, we cannot expect friends, especailly really young people, to be able to handle people with sever psychological issues. One of my best friends has a chronic disease. Many of her old friends dropped away because she is not the person she used to be. I've never known her any other way, so I am used to her state. Yes, friends should be there in times of a crisis. But they are also neither carers or therapists and equipped to handle ongoing needs. We cannot drop any burden mo mmatter how big on our frineds just because they like us.
Except it can be toxic. Friendship goes two ways and if the entire relationship becomes about the mental health of one friend, it can contribute to poor mental health of the other. Obviously some people are just struggling, but sometimes it crosses a line into something worse.
Load More Replies... I can see both sides on this one. The daughter obviously has ongoing mental health issues that are being exacerbated by the news of her mother's cancer. It makes sense for her to try to reach out to friends, and roommates comment was out of line, regardless. On the other hand, I get the impression that she may have been doing this a lot, and constantly having to talk someone off a cliff is emotionally draining. honestly, it sounds like she should have put off school for a bit. She doesn't seem equipped to handle the extra stress right now, if her panic attacks are so easily triggered, despite 10 years of therapy. Truthfully, I'd start to feel manipulated as a friend if every confrontation led to an immediate panic attacks. She may not be able to help it, (I would think therapy would give her better tools though) but others shouldn't have to walk on eggshells and submit to every request either. It's roommates home too. Moving out was probably best for both of them.
While these were definitely not friends I'd wish for my daughter, I'm guessing they are also 19yo and definitely not equipped to support someone with panic attacks because their mother might die. I wouldn't want my daughter to have "friends" like that, but I also wouldn't want her to be therapist to someone at that age and life-experience level. The daughter needs professional help, someone to talk to who can teach her how to cope.
She's had a therapist since she was 8. Apparently not a very good one... I agree that the friends shouldn't have been her dumping ground, but they trampled all over someone already in a vulnerable position, and that makes them less entitled to full sympathy. She also made one request, which was ignored, panicked and was further ridiculed, so yeah, she moved out.
Load More Replies... If you are a friend and your friend is going through something be honest. You can say Sam I really want to be here for you but I'm not any good when you have a panic attack. It scare's me and I don't know what to do. This gives Jan information and she can say May be you can hold me?Give me space for a few hours. Bring ice cream? But don't leave your friend just hanging. You could give her a hug and tell her you will call later. This is why I don't like being around people. This type of sh*t some people do is just beyond me. I like to be left alone. But when you have a friend that is in/or having trouble don't leave them for your insecurities!! Someday you may have a panic attack!
This story sounds EXTREMELY one sided. I am sure there is more to this. I have a feeling these "bad" friends had good reasons. I am sorry for the woman but I have a feeling her daughter may be a b****.
I partially agree with you. The story is extremely one sided and the comment from the roommate seems strange without any context. But I can imagine the roommate might misinterpret her panic attack as some form of manipulation. Her roommate didn’t side with anyone she just wanted to invite her friends over in her house. Having a psychiatric disorder is extremely difficult to have. But it is also difficult for people around them. Especially when you are young yourself. There must be more this story.
Load More Replies... Unpopular opinion but I bet the roommate and friends are much better off with this woman gone from their lives, who despite being in therapy is NOT able to handle normal life. Therapy since 8???? Her mothers cancer is horrible, but I've lost a parent to cancer in college and had a child with cancer - life goes on. How do we know the friends aren't going through similar stuff with their family???? I hope the mother get great treatment and the daughter figures her sh*t out.
I’m glad the daughter moved out and took all the amenities that belong to her and in her name. It’s bad enough to deal with health issues but to have someone stabbing you in the back at the same time doesn’t help.
Whilst I agree that going to college at a time when your mother is diagnosed with cancer must be extremely difficult, I can also see the roommates point of view. She is there to study, experience new things and meet new people and is just becoming an adult so the struggles of a practical stranger are really not her problem. I don’t understand why her long term friends would abandon her in favour of her new roommate though. My friend lost her mother to cancer when we were college age. There were 8 of us and we stuck together. We were a family. 3 of us had lost a parent prior to this so we may have been in a better position to empathise but I can’t imagine abandoning a friend who needed me. I’m sure we had different values 30 years ago but I believe they were better values and people were much more compassionate.
I think a lot of these folks lack common courtesy. These days, people are a******s, & very few of us are willing to be inconvenienced for someone else’s sake. It’s really unfortunate.
I think your right, I'm long out of my twenties, but it seemed people had more compassion (in general) than today. Deterioration of society, poor social skills from growing up with social media. The kids are being taught "group think", at the cost of critical thinking. Also being taught self absorption.
Load More Replies... yeah no, im with the friends on this. if all your long-time friends suddenly distance themselves, you need to take a long hard look at yourself & wonder why. those girls were just trying to get through their first year of college & the daughter was making them deal with her anxiety & panic attacks, which are a LOT for friends to handle. i have full-blown ptsd from playing personal therapist/suicide watch literally 24/7 for my "best friend" for four years, which resulted in me becoming extremely depressed & suicidal myself. yeah, daughter's situation is sad, but it isn't her friends' responsibility to help her through it outside of therapy sessions if it takes a toll on their own well-being, & from the sounds of it, daughter was a huge drain on her friends. i wish the mom well with her battle against cancer, but her daughter needs to learn that other people have hardships & mental health issues too, & they may not be able to deal with hers for her as well as their own.
I had to learn about everything you described myself, and I know I'm not always so easy to deal with. I was clinically diagnosed with the whole pot pie, from ADHD, OCD and ODD, alongside paranoid personality disorder with narcissistic and antisocial features, however instead of trying to use all that as a Get-Outta-Jail-Free I try to remember how my actions affect other people, and I had to learn that from a Manager. She told me that my tardiness was making her son late to his job because he depended on her for rides, while I never met the guy. There is no telling what kind of impact she might have inadvertently inflicted on people she didn't know, let alone her friends.
Load More Replies... If you turn your back on a friend when they need you most, you are a s****y person, period. One of the main things wrong with the USA today. Lots of people have decided in the name of "self-care" that other people having feelings is "toxic." No one in this story was asking 19 year olds to be therapists, just friends. But they're only fair weather friends
yeah right. when i was almost 17, i finally cut contact with my friend who has bipolar disorder & early onset schizophrenia because they would force me to stay awake 24/7 for 4 entire years so i would always be available to help them through panic attacks, hallucinations, & suicide attempts. i became terrified of what would happen if i left because someone else's life was in my hands, but i was a goddamn child & couldn't take care of my own mental health anymore. i still suffer from severe depression, ptsd, flashbacks, suicidal thoughts, & a ton of guilt & anxiety for daring to get out of an emotionally abusive relationship. yes, my friend "needed" me & i "turned my back" on them, but what would've happened if i had stayed? i would be dead by now. no exaggeration. i would've taken my own life at a very early age. hell, i attempted a year after getting away due to the ptsd! don't you DARE guilt people for recognizing their own needs & valuing their own lives.
Load More Replies... Obviously her friends were not as close as she thought they were. But there is a message that shouldn't be ignored. Oftentimes when people have panic attacks and such there is expectations that their friends are there for them To talk to or comfort or sometimes even advise. If this young lady has a lot of episodes, it can become too much drama for someone who is just trying to "get through" the college experience. Expecting your friends to change their life to cater to you can be unfair also. But...that does not have to end friendships. A good friend can just say "I don't feel qualified to help you with this issue. Is there anyone I can call on your behalf?" A little empathy can go a long way in maintaining friendships. To me; I don't think these were ever the friends she thought or hoped they were and at the same time it appears that the episodes were frequent and that can put a burden on the strongest of bonds. I hope she finds the tools necessary to deal with her issues.
Too much drama in college??? Haha. Perhaps an issue is that this girl has others empathetic attention ... and it's too much for these mean girls.
Load More Replies... My mother battled cancer for 15 years from the time I was 7, she died when I was 21. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life and have often had major event after major event happen. I have had people that I was trying to maintain friendships that had to take a step back. It hurt like hell but I never faulted them for it. It's not my choice to make.
Sounds like Mom's side of story, would be interesting to hear from the daughters friends......
I lost my 2 best friends when I was diagnosed with depression and started missing school. They just stopped talking to me and inviting me out. I made other friends though as there's always going to be people who are understanding as much as there's always gonna be people who don't believe people have mental health issues. I agree this story sounds a little strange; why would all her friends stop being her friend cos she was having panic attacks cos her Mum had cancer? Seems very strange!
If her behaviour substantially changed, and became difficult to deal with, how can kids of 19/20 deal with that? I think going to college at that point in her life was too much for her. Sad events coinciding to make it a difficult time.
Load More Replies... This is a tough one, and made difficult due to a complete lack of information. Was this really malicious manipulation from a roommate from hell, or was the daughter's behavior much more caustic than what is being let on? Sounds like the daughter already has/had a lot of help, and there's certainly a lot of leeway for someone with these issues while dealing with some difficult circumstances. Overall very unfortunate all round.
Nobody can provide any sort of "informed opinion" (if you will) without knowing the roommates side.
If EVERYONE in your social circle turns on you, you're likely the problem. You cannot dictate to someone who is living in a space and paying rent who they can have over as a guest. I think the actions of the daughter actually show exactly what everyone was getting at. She does sound toxic.
I count myself as a very compassionate person. I've had compassion shown to me also. That said, there comes a time when you have to take a good look at your actions and maybe realize that you've become TOO needy, or prone to drama (such as ongoing panic attacks)and lean on professionals equipped to handle emotional issues. Most college students have a lot going on and a friend who is always blue, downcast, dramatic, helpless and needy requires a whole lot of energy to deal with regularly. I'm saying this as someone who WAS an emotional wreck at one point and had a good enough to be honest friend point out my behavior in a kind but straightforward way. It sounds like past issues have set up the daughter to be a bit overly dramatic and emotional. A panic attack at people being over to the house (people she knew) is a sign that the daughter needs to continue therapy, and perhaps be on medication for a while until she learns coping skills, etc.
I have to side with the friends on this one... Why did 4 separate people reach their breaking point? Why has she been in therapy since the age of 8 (more than half her life) but still is constantly having panic attacks? Attention. Which is completely obvious because of the "panic attack" when she came home to find her roommate had the audacity to not do as she was told... Quite frankly, her moving out in a snit was the best thing that ever happened to the roommate
Barakatbadger comment really showing that they’re, in fact, an awful friend/person. A fair few of my friends have had the misfortune of going through the cancer journey (and losing for a few of them). It’s hard to watch their fear, panic, and grief but damn it’s not hard to just be there with them, check on them, and when needed just give them space. To be a compassionate human being towards another.
Wow. This whole comments section is exactly why people still struggle with mental health. Lots of people just making excuses for the disrespectful ex-friends, and justifying abandoning a person in need, "because me me me," even when the final request was a reasonable one. What a warped sense of justice to keep saying, "Daughter should just get over it, or stop taking to her friends about it."
I think that a wise person is cautious about taking a one sided story and deciding it's the complete truth of the matter. Outside of how the mother "felt" about the situation, which colored her telling of the story, the facts we have are that her daughter has been in therapy since she was a child. She has some real stress in her life, and for whatever reason her lifelong friends and roommate don't want to associate with her. We can assume the daughter did tell her roommate that the old friends couldn't come over anymore. We can also assume if the friends had physically harmed the daughter or used nasty language the mother would have used that in the story to make her point. So the only things we know that were clearly expressed from the roommate were that the friends and roommate found the daughter's behavior/emotional needs toxic. The mere sight of her old friends caused a panic attack? What exactly did the girls do for that to be a reasonable reaction?
Load More Replies... She sounds like a needy drama queen! Everyone being against your behavior doesn't add up to you being the victim.
Proud of this girl! She did what she had to so she could feel happier!
Wow, they really sucked! Talk about fair weather friends. Can't imagine being so self-absorbed to leave a friend in such a trying time as your parent being diagnosed with cancer. I hope roommate learned something when she came home to an empty flat.
Not sure but it sounds like the roommate was exaggerating to win the friends all to herself.
I remember the middle of sixth grade, a boy in the neighboring class' mom died of breast cancer. He suddenly lost nearly all of his friends and people stayed away from him. It's like humans believe they can keep cancer away instinctively by being àssholes. Makes no sense to me. Trust me, death is still coming for us all.
And once again, this is why I don't have friends and never will. I am too broken for people to handle. I can not afford therapy anymore (Started therapy when I was 5, stopped when I was 25... didn't help... hell, my first therapist took her own life so that is likely my fault too). When I try to make friends, I stupidly lean on them for support and they get burnt out but I don't know what to do otherwise so... I will just avoid making friends and if my mental illness takes me away, all the better for everyone else on this planet.
See this is what they meant by toxic emotional needs. I'd the daughter was doing stuff like this then I can understand why her friends didn't want to be involved.
Load More Replies... A lease ain't a life sentence. Nothing saying you gotta put up with that c**p in a place where you pay rent. Unless you get married......
The daughter made a simple request regarding finals and visitors.. finals is literally a week. And depending on the type (test, essay, project,etc).. probably less than a week. Roommate needed to respect the boundaries of the OP's daughter or deal with her moving out like grown up and not try to call the cops for taking her own stuff
"We've got the chairs" is going to be my new go-to phrase when someone tries to start unnecessary BS/drama with myself and my partner/coworkers, and I know they have no leg to stand on. Like, "B*TCH, DON'T EVEN TRY THAT JERRY SPRINGER SH*T WITH US, WE GOT THE CHAIRS" 🤣
From what i can see there’s only one side of the story told by a person who didn’t live with the girls herself - so all she heard was from her daughter. Honestly, i think the girls supported her so far is already a very nice gesture of being friends; they are probably more relived now she has moved out.
These comments saying that roommate shouldn't tip toe around some panic attacks or emotional problems or just sympathising with the roommate are so nasty just like that roommate, I have no words. No one asks you to be a full time carer but have those people heard of empathy?? What kind of rotten human being makes someone else's suffering about them?? If roommate found it over bearing in any way, she simply could have had a gentle conversation and not label someone seeking support from their friends as toxic ect. To me, it just seems like the girl was going through a new rough situation (mum's cancer) and those 'friends' didn't find it positive to deal with.
Who would find panic attacks positive to deal with? Ya know, over time panic attacks can become triggering and scary for the witness so f*****g pardon them if they need space of their own.
Load More Replies... ESH The daughter sounds like a lot. It is not a roommate's responsibility to help manage her emotions or mental disorders, and it especially not a teenage roommate's responsibilities. The friends, a little bit, but likely not to the degree the daughter was wanting them to be. Young people nowadays are pretty supportive of mental health stuff, so I'm thinking she crossed a ton of boundaries to land in a place where she got dumped by the entire group. If she gets a panic attack just from seeing some acquaintances over, the girl has significant issues far beyond what these young people could handle, especially since she had professional support I likewise find the utter glee this mom shows at leaving a teen without water and utilities ugly. They could have gotten sufficient "revenge" by informing her of the move. And all they likely accomplished was proving that the friends were right: this girl is a flake and dramatic
There is a comfortable middle ground, where at first I could understand the girls’ reactions. Here in America, we still have residues of that tough independent spirit that it’s almost reminiscent of the British stiff upper lip, strong in the face of problems. But as soon as you mentioned that it was her reaction to your diagnosis of cancer well, that was it for me. I could really understand being very upset. Now I realize what an incredible opportunity that would’ve been for all those girls to have held hands and circling around about her softly gently laying hands on her and praying for her. Who knows~ a miracle might’ve happened that day.
First of all, very sorry to hear about anybody struggling with cancer. That said I am a believer of boundaries. Good life lesson for this girl to learn to gauge how much she can dump on her friends when they are also in school and trying to enjoy what's suppose to be the most carefree time of their lives. Sounds like she was over stepping her roommate boundaries as well by trying to regulate her roommates visitors, doors are pretty helpful lol. Her mothers wording and inability to see two sides to a situation tell us exactly where these problesms stem from. Hopefully some realistic person in her life can be blunt with her but also compassionate.
First off, sounds like roommate had no respect for boundaries for a simple and reasonable request. She's can live by herself if she wants people to come around anytime of day. That was an extremely rude what she said and deserved what she got. Friends are jerks. If you need to step back, you can gently let them know that you can't handle all of their problems and still be friends. I think new girl took advantage and turned her friends against her. Also, people may never overcome their issues despite years of therapy. Heartless people.
As someone with a panic disorder who has been getting better with therapy, you don't stop having them because you have been seeing a therapist. It is a long process to train your mind and body to cope with stress in a manageable way. Nobody chooses it and it isn't a character flaw. It is a medical condition. Yes, it can be a burden on others, but you do not need to be a therapist to help. You can help someone stay grounded to the present. Seeing as she is living on her own and living life, it cannot be as bad as her friends are making it out. Plus, it seems she has some awareness of what causes her attacks but her friends coldly ignored her reasonable requests. It would be rude to ignore her requests even if it wasn't due to her anxiety. Plus, it seems the "friends" themselves were a source of her anxiety. They were not just "unable to handle" her mental health difficulties. I cannot side with them at all.
So this girl had friends all through high school. Panic attacks and all. It all went south when this roommate became involved. There's a difference between taking a step back and being a total b!+ch. I'm glad she was able to get out of the toxic living space. She should have a safe place to live. These other girls sound very unreasonable and lead by the roommate.
Oh yeah, I had Panic Attacks, or something similar before, my Parents behaved similar to. Mocking my Behavior, teaming up on me, not leting me go back to my save Spaces. Its quiet traumatic. Currently try to find a Therapy place to work on that.
I think that the new friend was definitely saying some stuff to the old friends to make them just not want to be around the daughter. There are plenty of people who do that and it’s so freaking weird smh. Also it is totally reasonable for the daughter to not want the friends around due to her having work as well as finals it just seems like the new friend was a complete a hole. But overall I love a good revenge story and hope that the mother and daughter are doing well!!
Also the whole “they’re young they don’t know much about empathy” varies for people because I’m younger than those girls and know to be understanding of someone’s mental health issues, it doesn’t take rocket science to know when to be there for someone especially a long time friend.
Load More Replies... I also want to add a semi relevant story here. I lost my mom to a perticularly aggressive brain cancer in 2016, "Glioblastoma". If you know, then you know. It's same one Joe Bidens son and John McCain died from. It's survival rate is virtually non existent. It was hardest time my family has ever been thru. While maybe not as extreme as this poor girl, certain situations have triggered a type of panic attack and emotionally intense memories. Real friends understand this and should help you through it. Recently I attended a funeral for a father of a lifelong friend of mine and at the wake I experienced intense anxiety and had to take a walk for a bit and it wasn't a big deal and didn't even need to be explained to my friend. He automatically understood. I hope this girl gets some REAL friends like that.
Some people, especially those with little to no REAL life experience can be horribly insensitive when witnessing someone go through an actual emotionally traumatic experience. Sounds like these girls have no clue about the horrors of life. When their times come and they are faced with real problems and have nowhere to turn I hope they will finally understand how badly they acted toward this poor girl. I have a quick semi relevant story to add which I'll do in a seperate comment.
That Least-Conference commentor.. is very wrong. Just because they don't ont know people who would do this doesn't mean they don't exist. Age, gender, occupation; it has nothing to do with being a jerk. Whilst its true we could be missing some story, it's just as likely to be a small story with petty college drama.
Wtf is up with these s****y cut n paste posts where you can read it in proper order?
I am bipolar and I have PTSD. My own mother and siblings were horrible to me and walked out on me because they couldn't handle my panic attacks and episodes. I am grateful to have the dad that I did. Papa did not understand it very well but he was always very supportive of me and stood beside me through thick and thin and when I lost him to cancer it was devastating for me. My main support now is my best friend of 35 years. We met in high school and have gone to hell and back together. I recently had a very severe episode and my paranoia tried to tell me I was going to lose her. She said she's been with me this long why would she leave now? Through the grace of God, the love of my best friend, my counselors and my doctors, I am getting through each day. Your daughter is a very strong and wise woman and if I had one I would take off my hat to her.
Some people never grow out of the "high school mentality" and it seems like the "friends" may be those types. Since they cannot handle her "emotional needs" - they were never her friends to begin with. I had "friends" like that in high school. They acted like we were close but in reality, our friendship meant nothing to them. I would be willing to bet it's the roommate's fault, honestly. They became part of the friend group....so, that means they had no friends of their own, and thus it seems they may have done their best to phase OP's daughter out of the group to solidify their position in it. It's really sad, but it does happen.
I cannot imagine under ANY circumstances that would make me turn my back on a lifelong friend having mental health issues and now suffering panic attacks. Jeez people, give the human race SOME CREDIT! Those girls were and are the DEFINITION of "Mean Girls" here's a few examples 1) Discussing or talking about you with others of the same friend group 2) Not talking directly to your friend about how her mental health is effecting you. But freely complaining whenever she's not present. 3) Never taking into account she's been struggling since 8 with her mental health 4) Not being considerate of your roommates feelings, schedule and mental health when deciding to have people "spend the night". Especially people who've rejected her as a friend!
We heard from the girls mother, and NOBODY else. All we got is one side of the story from the most biased person out there (the girls loving mother). You are absolutely free to express your opinions, but keep in mind, you barely have half the story.
Load More Replies... The curtain is the decorative fabric layer that stays out of the shower and it can go in the washing machine, so not gross at all.
Load More Replies... I'm glad the girl moved and is safe now. Even without her panic attacks it sounds like these ex Friend mean girls are vile and the room mate is repulsive.
To who? The mom? I hate when people say this, but this is a one sided story and we don't have enough info to decide whether or not the friends are jerks.
Load More Replies... Respected ma'am I am a cancer survivor myself all these ups and downs make a person strong these are trials and error YOU CAN DO UR PRAYERS SINCERELY AND TREATMENT HAND IN HAND ILL PRAY FOR Both of U I myself had a panic attack when I was short of the rent amount for my basement but within a week I paid off THIS IS LIFE WHEN UR PURSE IS FULL WHEN YOU KEEP HELPING PEOPLE THE WHOLE WORLD IS YOUR FRIEND VERY FEW PEOPLE UNDERSTAND AND HELP IN TIMES OF NEED ITS ALWAYS YOU ALONE AND GOD ALMIGHTY YOUR SHADOW WILL ALSO LEAVE YOU IN BAD TIMES AND ITS YOU ALONE ONLY PRAYERS WILL HELP TRY TO GIVE A FEW MCDONALD MEALS TO HOMELESS AND A FEW APPLES BANANAS ETC HERE AND THERE DONT GIVE THEM MONEY THEY SPEND ON CC CIGARETTES AND OTHER ADDICTIONS YOUR DAUGHTER IS BOLD ENOUGH AND CAME OUT STRONG GOOD JOB VERY SOON SHE LL HAVE HER OWN JOB AND APT AND YOU WILL BE CURED OF CANCER MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU AMEEN KAUSER F GILANI
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