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Mom Expects Daughter To Pay For Her Plastic Surgery, Tries Gaslighting Her After Being Told ‘No’
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Mom Expects Daughter To Pay For Her Plastic Surgery, Tries Gaslighting Her After Being Told ‘No’

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Despite the fact that parents should do their utmost to protect and nurture us, some adults simply do not know how to control their worst impulses. Narcissists, abusers, and deadbeats can still manage to have kids, to their offspring’s woe.

A woman described the conflict she had with her mother, who decided to try and gaslight her into thinking she agreed to pay for her cosmetic surgery. As often happens with children of narcissistic parents, OP didn’t even understand just how toxic her mother was until netizens talked her through it in the comments section.

Parents might at times ask their children for help or favors

Image credits: StudioPeace (not the actual photo)

But one narcissistic mom tried to convince and pressure her daughter into paying for her plastic surgery

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Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: shellygotsugar

Readers identified that OP’s mom’s behavior was very abnormal

While we only have some descriptions of OP’s mother’s behavior, many signs point to her being a narcissist. From a refusal to grasp reality, to constant manipulation of those around her, this sort of behavior is sadly common. In some ways, it’s almost hard to blame the narcissist, as this mental condition can completely cloud their judgment.

In some ways, OP’s mother might not even think she is doing anything wrong. The entitlement that comes with rampant narcissism can truly convince folks that they are simply in the right. To the despair of any who encounter them, these sorts of narcissists tend to make their delusions everyone else’s issue, as OP’s story clearly demonstrates.

A common issue for the children of these kinds of parents is the inability to understand that their behavior is abnormal. After all, a child only knows what they have experienced. This is somewhat visible in OP’s story since her mother’s actions are truly bizarre, but she didn’t quite understand that until people pointed it out online.

Image credits: Daria Obymaha (not the actual photo)

Growing up with a narcissistic parent has many side effects

The good news is, should the child establish some distance and perspective, it often becomes clear that their parent is a narcissist. However, the nature of child-parent relationships often makes this difficult. After all, if you live in the same city, how exactly do you create real distance? The parent often knows this as well, so they will do their best to ensure proximity.

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The result, for the child, is a higher risk of depression, self-esteem issues, and, in this case, a financial burden. This is visible even in OP’s decision to ask the internet for a second opinion on an open-and-shut case. This is not to disparage her, as previously mentioned, these kinds of parents do their utmost to shame their kids into believing their delusions.

This is particularly horrible, as the offspring of these sorts of people often struggle with a number of major issues. Because a narcissist tends to not be very giving with praise or attention, their kids tend to be overly attention-starved and clingy in future relationships. They also tend to undervalue themselves to an unhealthy degree. So hopefully, the comments on this post can be a wake-up call for OP.

OP shared some pertinent details later

[Reactions]

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Most readers thought she was not at all to blame

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moerbechris avatar
Chrissie Anit
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My goodness that was hard to read because she KNOWS that her mother is in the wrong, and that her siblings are addicted... but she STILL gives them money!! THat is something that I can't wrap my head around, but mental dependence is a b***h.

tuliplovef76 avatar
Emie N.
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this story is true, then she's not very bright. She is in her 30's and flat out said she didn't realize her mother could be narcissistic after someone pointed it out and then basically said they're unsure what that means. 🤦‍♀️

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rabitaille avatar
Paul Rabit
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that story ended on a low note 🫤. I guess admittance is the first step tho!

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP will continue therapy. She might look up "narcissist" and get a revelation there.

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mralt avatar
MR
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She'd be the AH 100% if she gives her ANY money. No, not $3k. Not even a cent. Her behavior is abhorrent and unworthy of your time and attention. Run, don't walk, away from that situation. I get you have you personal demons, but they will never get better until you get away. Worse, if you give me an inch, you'll make it even harder.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's been brainwashed and beaten down. She feels isolated where she is, and only feels like she has mom (probably conditioned). Poor lass has a way to go to build enough confidence to say no. She's on the precipice of change, recognizing the toxic, and knowing the therapist was right,but because she wasn't ready to give up on her mom yet she discontinued therapy. I just hope she can try again, a gentle gentle approach from a therapist could work better, certainly better than calling AH because she's still influenced by her conditioning and struggling to break free

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moerbechris avatar
Chrissie Anit
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My goodness that was hard to read because she KNOWS that her mother is in the wrong, and that her siblings are addicted... but she STILL gives them money!! THat is something that I can't wrap my head around, but mental dependence is a b***h.

tuliplovef76 avatar
Emie N.
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this story is true, then she's not very bright. She is in her 30's and flat out said she didn't realize her mother could be narcissistic after someone pointed it out and then basically said they're unsure what that means. 🤦‍♀️

Load More Replies...
rabitaille avatar
Paul Rabit
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well that story ended on a low note 🫤. I guess admittance is the first step tho!

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the OP will continue therapy. She might look up "narcissist" and get a revelation there.

Load More Replies...
mralt avatar
MR
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She'd be the AH 100% if she gives her ANY money. No, not $3k. Not even a cent. Her behavior is abhorrent and unworthy of your time and attention. Run, don't walk, away from that situation. I get you have you personal demons, but they will never get better until you get away. Worse, if you give me an inch, you'll make it even harder.

laurencaswell4 avatar
Lauren Caswell
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's been brainwashed and beaten down. She feels isolated where she is, and only feels like she has mom (probably conditioned). Poor lass has a way to go to build enough confidence to say no. She's on the precipice of change, recognizing the toxic, and knowing the therapist was right,but because she wasn't ready to give up on her mom yet she discontinued therapy. I just hope she can try again, a gentle gentle approach from a therapist could work better, certainly better than calling AH because she's still influenced by her conditioning and struggling to break free

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