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We're working on two comics other than Dark Lines, and from time to time, we would have an idea that would not be tame enough for the Hairball Chronicles comic (about our cats) or would be too impolite for our TourBunny comic (about entitled tourists). It was a source of frustration to find a way to incorporate those, so we decided to branch them off—welcome to Dark Lines. Now we make and publish one of these per week.

They range from tame and weird to overly rude and graphic, but we hope they will give you a chuckle or at least a nose exhale.

We have accounts on Instagram, Facebook, or Ko-Fi (we publish all three of our comics on this one), so check us out and follow if you like our content.

More info: darklinescomic.com | Facebook | Instagram | ko-fi.com

#1

Theory

Theory

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LSR
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You were one of the dropped ones, aren't ya?

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Sage Gusano
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"They're gonna track us with the vaccine!" sent from my iphone while carrying a debit card with a chip and driving a car with gps.

Tove Hansen
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the "thonk", such a fun sound :D

Crowley The Snake
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My twin brother and when we first heard the "vaccines cause autism", we both laughed.

Truth Speakin'
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That....and some are that dumb WITHOUT being dropped on their head!!! Though that would explain their stupidity...

Lynn Grimm
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whole office heard me laugh at this one!

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    #2

    Science

    Science

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    HooowlAtTheMoon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but what about math? why do i need to study parabolas and quadratic equations if im going to be an actor?

    Robert T
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So that you can calculate the trajectory of the custard pies ;-)

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    Laugh or not
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't ask what use is knowing something, ask who profits from your ignorance. Then learn as much as you can.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because you don't plan on being a total idiot either?

    Nooberton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Neither did you but look what happened? Oh wait your the Karl Marx dude never mind.

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    littlesaresare
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, you don't need to study something to respect it and those who do. I don't know s**t about car engines but I know to trust a mechanic's opinion a lot more than my own, and don't make up wild claims about Big Engine. These people would probably just either ignore everything they learned, or find another nonsensical conspiracy theory to latch onto.

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will now demonstrate 5G! *several thousand hertz radio signals*

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get where they are going, but that isn't what the conspiracy was about at all... even though it might be a little crazier

    Liv
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes but... "Science" is very vague. There are a lot of things that I wish I hadn't been forced to study at school. I never needed them in my life.

    Liv
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nevertheless I do agree it's very valuable in life to learn the basics of chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology, and so on - all the sciences. :)

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    #3

    Self-Doubt

    Self-Doubt

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    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww poor guy. Don’t worry demon I think your horns are really big

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you have spindly legs too. LOL

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    #4

    Hell Level 1

    Hell Level 1

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    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what about karens what level do they end up in

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They keep complaining until the demons let them go.

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    Kanuli
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They demand the manager and we figure out devil himself is master Karen.

    Loretta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oh, yes, reasonable." I kind of love the dude's attitude.

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me and my boy had a trick. when someone was doing this, I would call him, on speaker, and be like "bro I cant believe some f******d is talking on speaker in the middle of the store" and he would be like "DUUUUDE what a f****n asshole" and we would just go on

    Chich
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These people should be sent to hell's hell.

    Nope
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom's hearing is bad and often needs to do this or else she can't hear the call (usually asks the caller to call later when she's at home or ends it quickly), there are people that like being noisy for no reason and are really annoying, but please before saying something rude to someone consider if it may be due to hearing problems and ask them politely to turn the speaker off

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    #5

    Two Wolves

    Two Wolves

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    Christina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A good wolf and an evil wolf are fighting within you. Which wolf will win? The one you feed.

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you stab yourself and they come out and go on to eat people. Then they both win.

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    ғɪɴɴ ᴅ. ʜᴀʀᴍᴀɴɴ
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...At first I was like noo, why'd you kill yourself and believe that..until i saw the end..

    Robecca
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tbh this is better than the original

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    #6

    X-Ray

    X-Ray

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    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They do that because repeated exposure to being near by it is not good.

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bartender has a drink with one guy, he's good. Bartender drinks with everyone, he's a grave.

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But spending 30 years in that room might not be

    Bobby
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Typical xrays expose you to about .001 to .005 mSv of radiation, which is practically nothing, but for the person doing it 20 or more times a day it adds up. The danger to you is minimal, but radiation exposure can have a cumulative effect

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, I absolutely agree! But it is but a joke :) Actually it was a friend of mine who is doing this work who said how silly he feels when he tells people it's super safe and then goes into an underground bunker wearing power armor to take their X-Ray. :)

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    Chucky Cheezburger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be sure to tell them of any piercings or jewelry you may have in the area being x rayed...they WILL freak out for a minute wondering what the hell happened.

    #7

    Alice II

    Alice II

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    No one
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When your parents ruin things for you…

    Christina
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The rabbit has only one potion? And it‘s … green??

    Pedro Paulo Alves Selani
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not-So-Fun Fact: Alice in Wonderland syndrome (AIWS) is a rare neurological disorder characterized by distortions of visual perception, the body image, and the experience of time.

    #8

    Internet Day 1

    Internet Day 1

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    Jip van Neerven
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are the hot singles really in my area, just waiting to meet me!?

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    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I get those notifications I burst out laughing. Every woman in my area is old. Like, they all have grandkids. Or they're already married, etc. I know them all, and none of them look like the pictures that pop up.

    Chucky Cheezburger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it would have been Rachel with card services trying to reach me...

    James Doe
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was gonna post how it was invented in CERN. But I have this unheard of skill of looking things up before posting emotional truths.. The worldwide web as we know it was invented in CERN. [edit not the internet itself] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, the first model of the internet was ARPANET in the sixties. It was the first network that allowed for packet switching and for TCP/IP. But, also to be fair, the web as we know it now, including the protocols we use for communication between computers DID get born in CERN in 1990. ARPANET was the prototype, and without that and without ARPA, we would never have internet as it is now and you would not be able to use your amazing skills of looking things up before posting emotional truths. The real emotional truth here is that a) it is a joke, b) it is completely correct because ARPANET WAS the first version of our internet, c) it makes for a better joke because ARPANET had a very small number of people it was available to, and c) 1969 noice.

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    #9

    Jack The Stripper

    Jack The Stripper

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    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my eyes they burn!! i need holy water!!

    Beta
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why so many jack the rippers?!?

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I started drawing these while doing an online pub quiz with some friends and one of the topics was Jack the Ripper. Had a billion ideas so ... here they are.

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    Tim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Net effect is the same.

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    #10

    Warp Speed

    Warp Speed

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    best turtle
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at least save the intelligent ones!!

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Too complicated, too much work...

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    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is what needs to be done

    LSR
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please do, at all the brevity possible!

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    #11

    Good News

    Good News

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    justanormalpuggetnugget
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    good new for the doctor since when he dies he wont be in his office lmao

    #12

    Hot Shingles

    Hot Shingles

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    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HA! YES! Thank you. This is amazing. I have ideas for more comics now!

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    MPM
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They hurt so bad

    LSR
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bet that patient is scottish...."yessh I like shingles!"

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    #13

    Jack Reformed

    Jack Reformed

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    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS. And it's gonna be even more enraging if I see anyone in the balenciaga ones

    Lillukka79
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh dear god, never knew there could be something uglier than crocks.

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    notshepleaseandthankyou!
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what's wrong with crocs? they are comfortable and great for camping!

    Raven DeathShade
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone ever read the Last American Vampire? Jack the Ripper's a vampire. He died, but he was a vampire.

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    #14

    Interview

    Interview

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    Dylan Bess
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    TK 421
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My favorite answer to this when I was a hiring manager, “Typewriter.” They we’re so high

    #15

    Ye Olde Shoppe Bagge

    Ye Olde Shoppe Bagge

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    Liv
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did that 😅 I forgot again my reusable bags, so I punished myself by using no bag (instead of buying yet another one)

    Tee Witt
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shopping bag invented in 1886, oh yes, i am also sure it was by an american

    #16

    Jebediah Couch

    Jebediah Couch

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    Eppe
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is the person in green holding themselves up with the power of farts...?

    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    om my goooooddd.... i woulda never gotten that obvious joke

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    #17

    Gif

    Gif

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    Losferatu
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hard G for me all the way

    Nathan Pogorzala
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It does stand for Graphics so i don't know how they got J out of it. Leave that for the peanut butter.

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    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GIF, because we don't jive christmas jifts at christmas time to juys and jerls.

    ZAPanda
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually because "graphics interchange format", where it's not Jrafics.

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    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys. Everyone is wrong. You pronounce GIF as GIF. Not as GIF. Jesus.

    Bacony Cakes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually according to the original plans the g is pronounced as a y

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    Elim Garak
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is there a place for those who say "Eye-talian"? Like the country is called "Eyetaly"! Please, tell me there is!

    J. Normal
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only say that when trying to tick off my EYEtalian roommate - I tell her we are going to fancy EYEtalian restaurant - olive garden... LOL

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    Jerry Vega
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Think gif (pronounced gift without the ‘t’) vs gif (pronounched Jif like the peanut butter).

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    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Either being correct, I use both. Although the G in "Graphical" being hard, tend to agree, that it IS "gif".

    Adam Brown
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    did you know that gif is technically pronounced yiff? have a nice day

    S.
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What gif I don't have a nice day

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    Earl Grey
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK, I’ll settle this for you Pandas. Wearing my IT hat here…The GIF format was invented in 1987 by Steve Wilhite, an American computer scientist. The inventor of GIF has authoritatively said the following: “The Oxford English Dictionary accepts both pronunciations. They are wrong. It is a soft 'G,' pronounced 'jif.' End of story." The intended pronunciation deliberately echoes the American peanut butter brand Jif. So when you mispronounce it with a hard G, you unmask yourself to an IT professional. For those without access to the technical literature: https://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/21/an-honor-for-the-creator-of-the-gif/

    Earl Grey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And as an aside, dictionaries do not dictate how words *should* be pronounced. The linguists who write the content act as anthropologists peering through the reeds to observe how language is spoken in the wild, then record their findings. This is why Oxford has the entry that it does.

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    NG
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was only for twelve years of my life though- alright, I’m going in going.

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    #18

    Jack The Tripper

    Jack The Tripper

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    #19

    Roleplay

    Roleplay

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    Jeremy Dao
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's NOT just the tip of the arrow

    manon M
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not censored ?? lool

    Tim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Prepared for any situation.

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    #20

    3D

    3D

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    Zey-Zey
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What are the stuff in the box?

    David Martin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean...the dungeon part might be accurate

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    #21

    Yeast

    Yeast

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    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know. I feel like every upvote on this post is an angry upvote.

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    #22

    Mug

    Mug

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    #23

    Richard Ripper

    Richard Ripper

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    #24

    Tricky Dicky

    Tricky Dicky

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    BasedWang
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ahhh missed penis dismemberment joke............EDIT: nvm lmao

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    #26

    The Worst

    The Worst

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    Kimu but she’s inactive
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yall will censor the f word and not tiddies on the comic below And they ask me why im doing my semester essay on how media censorship is so dumb

    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kimu... First, aren't you supposed to be inactive? Second, yeah, censorship is stupid. One of the reasons some of our comics are all out. Dildos, swears, blood... all of it is a part of life. And unless your audience is under 14, no reason to censor anything.

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    VeninTheNonBinaryRogue
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    F**K YOU. BEES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND I WILL FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH ON THIS.

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    #27

    Imp

    Imp

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    Yoinks!
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any time I hear someone rev-rev-rev his engine, I know there's an insecure jerk with a limp microwangle.

    Kerri Peek
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No they need a truck with a huge lift and Trump flags.

    Tom Hanlin
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's true. Some guys are so obsessive about d**k size that they start thinking about other guys' d***s, and then the size of their cars or whether they have guns. The artist, for example.

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    #28

    The Doctor

    The Doctor

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    PenitentEyeball
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to look this one up, “A proctologist is a surgical specialist with a focus on diagnosing and treating disorders of the colon, r****m and a**s. Proctologists often are seen for complex lower digestive tract issues or when surgery is needed to treat the patient.”

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They also do prostate exams for cancer. It involves sticking a finger up there and feeling around. Small fingers are preferred by patients.

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    smugdruggler
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So even correct biological names for things get censored now? Ffs.

    Jahnavi Rekhapalli
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Jahnavi Rekhapalli
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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