We're working on two comics other than Dark Lines, and from time to time, we would have an idea that would not be tame enough for the Hairball Chronicles comic (about our cats) or would be too impolite for our TourBunny comic (about entitled tourists). It was a source of frustration to find a way to incorporate those, so we decided to branch them off—welcome to Dark Lines. Now we make and publish one of these per week.
They range from tame and weird to overly rude and graphic, but we hope they will give you a chuckle or at least a nose exhale.
We have accounts on Instagram, Facebook, or Ko-Fi (we publish all three of our comics on this one), so check us out and follow if you like our content.
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Theory
"They're gonna track us with the vaccine!" sent from my iphone while carrying a debit card with a chip and driving a car with gps.
My twin brother and when we first heard the "vaccines cause autism", we both laughed.
That....and some are that dumb WITHOUT being dropped on their head!!! Though that would explain their stupidity...
Science
but what about math? why do i need to study parabolas and quadratic equations if im going to be an actor?
So that you can calculate the trajectory of the custard pies ;-)
Load More Replies...Don't ask what use is knowing something, ask who profits from your ignorance. Then learn as much as you can.
Wisdom right here. Thank you :)
Load More Replies...Neither did you but look what happened? Oh wait your the Karl Marx dude never mind.
Load More Replies...To be fair, you don't need to study something to respect it and those who do. I don't know s**t about car engines but I know to trust a mechanic's opinion a lot more than my own, and don't make up wild claims about Big Engine. These people would probably just either ignore everything they learned, or find another nonsensical conspiracy theory to latch onto.
I get where they are going, but that isn't what the conspiracy was about at all... even though it might be a little crazier
The conspiracy about 5G is as stupid as this.
Load More Replies...Yes but... "Science" is very vague. There are a lot of things that I wish I hadn't been forced to study at school. I never needed them in my life.
Nevertheless I do agree it's very valuable in life to learn the basics of chemistry, physics, mathematics, biology, and so on - all the sciences. :)
Load More Replies...Self-Doubt
Hell Level 1
They keep complaining until the demons let them go.
Load More Replies...Mom's hearing is bad and often needs to do this or else she can't hear the call (usually asks the caller to call later when she's at home or ends it quickly), there are people that like being noisy for no reason and are really annoying, but please before saying something rude to someone consider if it may be due to hearing problems and ask them politely to turn the speaker off
Two Wolves
A good wolf and an evil wolf are fighting within you. Which wolf will win? The one you feed.
Unless you stab yourself and they come out and go on to eat people. Then they both win.
Load More Replies......At first I was like noo, why'd you kill yourself and believe that..until i saw the end..
X-Ray
They do that because repeated exposure to being near by it is not good.
Bartender has a drink with one guy, he's good. Bartender drinks with everyone, he's a grave.
Load More Replies...Typical xrays expose you to about .001 to .005 mSv of radiation, which is practically nothing, but for the person doing it 20 or more times a day it adds up. The danger to you is minimal, but radiation exposure can have a cumulative effect
Oh, I absolutely agree! But it is but a joke :) Actually it was a friend of mine who is doing this work who said how silly he feels when he tells people it's super safe and then goes into an underground bunker wearing power armor to take their X-Ray. :)
Load More Replies...Be sure to tell them of any piercings or jewelry you may have in the area being x rayed...they WILL freak out for a minute wondering what the hell happened.
Alice II
Not-So-Fun Fact: Alice in Wonderland syndrome (AIWS) is a rare neurological disorder characterized by distortions of visual perception, the body image, and the experience of time.
Internet Day 1
Are the hot singles really in my area, just waiting to meet me!?
Load More Replies...When I get those notifications I burst out laughing. Every woman in my area is old. Like, they all have grandkids. Or they're already married, etc. I know them all, and none of them look like the pictures that pop up.
I thought it would have been Rachel with card services trying to reach me...
I was gonna post how it was invented in CERN. But I have this unheard of skill of looking things up before posting emotional truths.. The worldwide web as we know it was invented in CERN. [edit not the internet itself] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet
To be fair, the first model of the internet was ARPANET in the sixties. It was the first network that allowed for packet switching and for TCP/IP. But, also to be fair, the web as we know it now, including the protocols we use for communication between computers DID get born in CERN in 1990. ARPANET was the prototype, and without that and without ARPA, we would never have internet as it is now and you would not be able to use your amazing skills of looking things up before posting emotional truths. The real emotional truth here is that a) it is a joke, b) it is completely correct because ARPANET WAS the first version of our internet, c) it makes for a better joke because ARPANET had a very small number of people it was available to, and c) 1969 noice.
Load More Replies...Jack The Stripper
AHHH HOW DO I ADD PHOTOS I CANNOT POST UNSEE JUICE
Load More Replies...I started drawing these while doing an online pub quiz with some friends and one of the topics was Jack the Ripper. Had a billion ideas so ... here they are.
Load More Replies...Warp Speed
Good News
good new for the doctor since when he dies he wont be in his office lmao
Hot Shingles
HA! YES! Thank you. This is amazing. I have ideas for more comics now!
Load More Replies...Jack Reformed
Jack's hard earned reformation was lost. For crocs.
Load More Replies...THIS. And it's gonna be even more enraging if I see anyone in the balenciaga ones
Oh dear god, never knew there could be something uglier than crocks.
Load More Replies...what's wrong with crocs? they are comfortable and great for camping!
Anyone ever read the Last American Vampire? Jack the Ripper's a vampire. He died, but he was a vampire.
Interview
Good. Hope you had coke in your mouth.
Load More Replies...get in we're still going to the dragon's lair stout-scar...73f554.jpg
Ye Olde Shoppe Bagge
I did that 😅 I forgot again my reusable bags, so I punished myself by using no bag (instead of buying yet another one)
Shopping bag invented in 1886, oh yes, i am also sure it was by an american
All dates and names are 100% correct, obviously.
Load More Replies...Jebediah Couch
om my goooooddd.... i woulda never gotten that obvious joke
Load More Replies...I don't think you need Scotland Yard to confirm if it is.
Load More Replies...Gif
It does stand for Graphics so i don't know how they got J out of it. Leave that for the peanut butter.
Load More Replies...GIF, because we don't jive christmas jifts at christmas time to juys and jerls.
Actually because "graphics interchange format", where it's not Jrafics.
Load More Replies...Guys. Everyone is wrong. You pronounce GIF as GIF. Not as GIF. Jesus.
actually according to the original plans the g is pronounced as a y
Load More Replies...Is there a place for those who say "Eye-talian"? Like the country is called "Eyetaly"! Please, tell me there is!
I only say that when trying to tick off my EYEtalian roommate - I tell her we are going to fancy EYEtalian restaurant - olive garden... LOL
Load More Replies...Think gif (pronounced gift without the ‘t’) vs gif (pronounched Jif like the peanut butter).
Load More Replies...Either being correct, I use both. Although the G in "Graphical" being hard, tend to agree, that it IS "gif".
OK, I’ll settle this for you Pandas. Wearing my IT hat here…The GIF format was invented in 1987 by Steve Wilhite, an American computer scientist. The inventor of GIF has authoritatively said the following: “The Oxford English Dictionary accepts both pronunciations. They are wrong. It is a soft 'G,' pronounced 'jif.' End of story." The intended pronunciation deliberately echoes the American peanut butter brand Jif. So when you mispronounce it with a hard G, you unmask yourself to an IT professional. For those without access to the technical literature: https://bits.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/21/an-honor-for-the-creator-of-the-gif/
And as an aside, dictionaries do not dictate how words *should* be pronounced. The linguists who write the content act as anthropologists peering through the reeds to observe how language is spoken in the wild, then record their findings. This is why Oxford has the entry that it does.
Load More Replies...Jack The Tripper
Roleplay
Bards after they [Content deleted] be like: fin-lizard...d628f5.png
3D
There are some D's involved, alright.
Load More Replies...Yeast
I know. I feel like every upvote on this post is an angry upvote.
Load More Replies...Mug
Richard Ripper
Tricky Dicky
Alice
The Worst
Yall will censor the f word and not tiddies on the comic below And they ask me why im doing my semester essay on how media censorship is so dumb
Kimu... First, aren't you supposed to be inactive? Second, yeah, censorship is stupid. One of the reasons some of our comics are all out. Dildos, swears, blood... all of it is a part of life. And unless your audience is under 14, no reason to censor anything.
Load More Replies...F**K YOU. BEES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND I WILL FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH ON THIS.
Load More Replies...Imp
It's true. Some guys are so obsessive about d**k size that they start thinking about other guys' d***s, and then the size of their cars or whether they have guns. The artist, for example.
Found the guy with the big spoiler.
Load More Replies...The Doctor
I had to look this one up, “A proctologist is a surgical specialist with a focus on diagnosing and treating disorders of the colon, r****m and a**s. Proctologists often are seen for complex lower digestive tract issues or when surgery is needed to treat the patient.”
They also do prostate exams for cancer. It involves sticking a finger up there and feeling around. Small fingers are preferred by patients.
Load More Replies...Yeah. This is honestly what I thought of most of these.
Load More Replies...And yet, you're still here, telling us how bored you are.
Load More Replies...Yeah. This is honestly what I thought of most of these.
Load More Replies...And yet, you're still here, telling us how bored you are.
Load More Replies...
