Aita?

Husband J is partying with his best mate & a neighbor from 1130am Saturday.

By 1600pm I am looking after my 2 kids & now the neighbors 2 kids without prior knowledge as he's brought them over because they were annoying their mum - snacks & now dinner for the extra kids too.

J is late BBQing the chicken nibbles (I made veges at 1730 for a 1800 dinnertime for kids). The chicken is ready at 1900.

I ask J to ask neighbor to take his youngster, Master 3 home to bed at 9.45pm - neighbor comes inside to confront me & asks are my kids annoying you, I say no but it is past bedtime & it would be nice if I could choose a tv channel & not have his 3 year old fall asleep on my couch when his mum is at home next door.

Neighbor takes his youngest home 1/2hr later.

BBq meat never materialises so I have cereal for dinner not wanting just potatoes & broccoli from hours earlier.

At 2200 my 8 yr old Son won't do what I ask & wants to play up with his dad.

I ask J to be responsible to get him to bed then - because he wants another sausage to eat & to be outside with the Dad's - At 2245 son is now playing in his room, father still outside - so I raise my voice to get him into bed & lights off.

Daughter 10, comes in to my room where I am in my pj's reading In bed at 2345 saying dad made her hold the fire with the fireproof gloves & she was a bit scared & got singed. WTF?

At 1245am I talk to J privately about the fire handling???& suggest he sleeps on the couch.

This morning at 0630 I send J a txt saying how out of character & unsafe I think he was. (I txt because I didn't want to go the kitchen in my pj's with his mate who stayed the night).

J comes to our room but is angry with me because he can't see he's done anything wrong - He says, It's not as if the fire was a huge bonfire and I didn't dare the kids to do it- then just says ok when I repeat how unsafe I think it was, that the kids are impressionable & could do that for their younger siblings & get badly hurt.

J just looks angry & says I won't do it again ok but it wasn't unsafe, you weren't there!

I'm feeling really angry still and don't want to look at him.

Now he's gone to play golf, it's 0725.

AITA?