Boy From Dysfunctional Family Grows Up To Be A Dad-Of-Four, Illustrates What He Learned About Parenting The Hard Way
Whoever thinks that kids turn out just like their parents should meet Logan Mickel. The 40-year-old man has four children but he’s raising them in a completely different way from how his own father had treated him. Recently, Logan explained his thoughts on parenthood in an incredibly sincere and heartwarming comic.
“The relationship [between me and my father] has always been complicated,” Logan told Bored Panda. “Childhood and teenage years were tough (as the cartoon shows), but once I moved out for college it got better. My new family and I would visit once a year (usually Christmas) and I could handle that. My other siblings would go for years without talking to him. He passed away a couple of years ago. In some ways, it was a relief. Mostly, though, it was sad to realize how great things might have been.”
The man has been married for 15 years now, and they have 4 kids. “My wife is amazing. Loving, patient, genuinely good and open—the perfect person for someone like me to have a family with. She wants to teach our kids hard work and responsibility, but can also have fun—the type of mom that will make her kids do chores and homework, then break out the hose and have a water fight on the front lawn right after.”
More info: asmuchgood.com
Image credits: Logan Mickel
“You know, I would say the biggest thing is realizing that family is more important than career and personal gratification,” Logan continued. “We live in a society that tells us money and materialism is what matters, yet many rich people are perfectly miserable. A lot of men work hard their entire lives, neglect their family, make a lot of money, then wish they had been better husbands and fathers on their deathbeds. There are countless examples of this. Even Charles Dickens, who was enormously famous, rich, a philanthropist, and one of the greatest English writers of all time, said on his deathbed that he wished he’d been a better father.”
“A good father prioritizes his family and is willing to put their needs before his own when it’s necessary. It’s definitely not easy, and I’m not going to pretend I’m always great at it, but I’m trying.”
To become a better dad, Logan has a few things he constantly tries to keep in mind. “I always admit it when I’m wrong. Learned this from my own dad, who went to his grave never admitting he’d messed up on anything ever. Kids know when you’re BSing stuff; it takes so much pressure off admitting you’re not perfect.
“Secondly, I make a point to spend time with them every day. Weekdays are hard, as I’m at work for about 12 hours a day, but I still make the time.”
“I also try to put my phone and tablet away when I’m talking with them. This shows them they’re more important to me than basketball scores and Facebook. As adults we love to complain about kids being obsessed with phones—we don’t realize they’re learning it from us.”
“When I screw something up, I’ll take a moment to think about what I did wrong and how I can do better the next time. I’ll ask my wife, other parents, I know, and even God what I could have done better. I always find something there.”
Logan has also tried writing novels for years and used to draw primarily portraits. He then did his first cartoon, that was about 5 years ago. “I’m a university English teacher and noticed that my smartest, most insightful students never spoke up in class. I put together a quick cartoon about it, posted it online, and it got an amazing response.”
“This may sound naive and sappy to some, but I just want to make the world a better place in whatever fleeting, minuscule way I can. There’s enough anger, greed, and selfishness out there, especially on the internet. If I can create something that makes someone else’s life just a little bit better, that’s worth more to me than any paycheck. I actually did a cartoon on this as well—”The World You Carry” on my website.”
After posting the comic, Logan explained his situation a bit more
People were incredibly moved by the comic
110Kviews
Share on FacebookI liked this a lot. The best thing anyone can do before they have kids is resolve the issues/ scars from their own f**ked up childhood. If we can all do this, the cycle of abuse ends. (And if you have kids before that has happened, make it you r number 1 priority, go to therapy, anger management, whatever.)
You know the drill! Blame it on damn onion cutting ninjas! ;)
Load More Replies...This is powerful. I am adopted, and i know my story. My Mom was married, but had an affair with my father, and got pregnant. She gave me up and I wound up here. So I have sealed with feeling like I was a mistake most of my life. I have vowed to not do anything to my children and to love them.
I'm sorry you were born into a situation like that. You are a person, and not a mistake, whatever your parents may have thought. One of my closest friends was adopted as well, her birth parents gave her up when she was 2. She's always struggled with feeling "unwanted", which of course is never true.
Load More Replies..."If I can change D - A - D for them ... even if I accomplish little else ... My Life Will Have Been a Success." This is a REAL MAN who has understood what is important in life. I love it. Another one of life's great lessons is that you finally grow up when you manage to understand that your parents had their own luggage. Abuse is always wrong. It does not matter one iota if it is psychological or physical, it can never be excused. Violence is what enters after common sense has left.
aren't you glad that every sunrise and every new day is yours to make everything right and all better again... Enjoy the new day the good Lord has given you... Give your kids the happy childhood and happier future that you wish you had been given... They will thank you for it someday...
Overcoming the "automatic" way in which bad/harmful/violent habits transfer from one generation to the next is my definition of what a real-life super hero is.
This is the exact reason why I didn't want to have any kids. My parents were just the worst. I mean the absolute worst. Now I have a daughter and ask myself why would anyone hate a young innocent little girl ever. my daughter is 3.
Me too sweets.. 30 years of me living by my seat to avoid kids and the mess I grew up in, that still cripples me at times, but I got pregnant with twins.. and it's nothing like I imagined, I've never beat or spanked my kids, I just don't understand it either sweets... I could never do that to my kids.... How could so many people see it happen to me and not care ... I'm still sorting it out tbh.
Load More Replies...Awesome. Buck Brannaman came from an abusive home. He's taken this approach and he's a genius with horses.
I am currently a child in middle school. I absolutely dread being home with my mom. She verbally abuses me. Threatens to kill me, insults me, and even hit me a couple of times. Once my dad almost called the cops on her cuz she wouldnt stop screaming at me.
A dysfunctional family with mental abuse and growing up feeling unloved and unworthy, may be close to feeling, unwanted from being given up at birth !!!
Awesome insight. I admire his strength. I just chose not to have children, and cut contact with my parents. I'm the happiest I have ever been and have also never been more alone. Happily.
The moment I got out of my family home and went to college, I put my a*s in therapy. There's no way I'm going to let what happened to me define me and hurt others. I don't want to realize in twenty years that I married someone just like me dad. Or even worse, that I became him.
It's OK to be heavy once in awhile. The phrase the school of hard knocks didn't get coined in a vacuum, and that sort of thing is part of reality. To those who have never been abused, count your blessings and pass them on.
You started a brand new world! Family isn’t always good, but when it is, it’s so heartwarmingly humble and amazing! To know you can and did make a change, and break the cycle of abuse, is beyond ! Love always wins, when you take the time, to make it come first. You did that! And you are doing that! One day, you will be an amazing grandpa, too! May God continue to bless you and your family as you all love and grow!
This is so fabulous. Those kids are so blessed. Both of my late parents came from troubled backgrounds. My Mom family was close and loving but very poor. (Her father had mental health issues that made her family life challenging.) My Dad's family was a lot like this man's. Not a lot of physical abuse, but lots of verbal/emotional abuse. Dad told my youngest brother and I that he'd never had a happy Christmas as a kid. Which is significant not only on the face of it, but also because my childhood was the exact opposite of that. Mom and Dad married young, at 22 and 23, and had five kids by the time they were 29 and 30. They were such amazing parents. The fact that they both parented differently -- and better -- than they were themselves, is awe-inspiring. That they figured how to do that when they so damn young is breathtaking. Anytime I read a story like this, I am reminded of them.
growing up on the female side of that spectrum (mother/daughter), I had the same concerns when I started having my kids. In the end, it was a matter of choosing to be a different Mom, a better Mom, than the example I had. It can be done!
Very nice one .. I like the determination of the author not to be like his own dad which was probably quite horrible but make a change for his family.
I smiled at the last picture ( the one ice skating ) it really made me happy
I liked this a lot. The best thing anyone can do before they have kids is resolve the issues/ scars from their own f**ked up childhood. If we can all do this, the cycle of abuse ends. (And if you have kids before that has happened, make it you r number 1 priority, go to therapy, anger management, whatever.)
You know the drill! Blame it on damn onion cutting ninjas! ;)
Load More Replies...This is powerful. I am adopted, and i know my story. My Mom was married, but had an affair with my father, and got pregnant. She gave me up and I wound up here. So I have sealed with feeling like I was a mistake most of my life. I have vowed to not do anything to my children and to love them.
I'm sorry you were born into a situation like that. You are a person, and not a mistake, whatever your parents may have thought. One of my closest friends was adopted as well, her birth parents gave her up when she was 2. She's always struggled with feeling "unwanted", which of course is never true.
Load More Replies..."If I can change D - A - D for them ... even if I accomplish little else ... My Life Will Have Been a Success." This is a REAL MAN who has understood what is important in life. I love it. Another one of life's great lessons is that you finally grow up when you manage to understand that your parents had their own luggage. Abuse is always wrong. It does not matter one iota if it is psychological or physical, it can never be excused. Violence is what enters after common sense has left.
aren't you glad that every sunrise and every new day is yours to make everything right and all better again... Enjoy the new day the good Lord has given you... Give your kids the happy childhood and happier future that you wish you had been given... They will thank you for it someday...
Overcoming the "automatic" way in which bad/harmful/violent habits transfer from one generation to the next is my definition of what a real-life super hero is.
This is the exact reason why I didn't want to have any kids. My parents were just the worst. I mean the absolute worst. Now I have a daughter and ask myself why would anyone hate a young innocent little girl ever. my daughter is 3.
Me too sweets.. 30 years of me living by my seat to avoid kids and the mess I grew up in, that still cripples me at times, but I got pregnant with twins.. and it's nothing like I imagined, I've never beat or spanked my kids, I just don't understand it either sweets... I could never do that to my kids.... How could so many people see it happen to me and not care ... I'm still sorting it out tbh.
Load More Replies...Awesome. Buck Brannaman came from an abusive home. He's taken this approach and he's a genius with horses.
I am currently a child in middle school. I absolutely dread being home with my mom. She verbally abuses me. Threatens to kill me, insults me, and even hit me a couple of times. Once my dad almost called the cops on her cuz she wouldnt stop screaming at me.
A dysfunctional family with mental abuse and growing up feeling unloved and unworthy, may be close to feeling, unwanted from being given up at birth !!!
Awesome insight. I admire his strength. I just chose not to have children, and cut contact with my parents. I'm the happiest I have ever been and have also never been more alone. Happily.
The moment I got out of my family home and went to college, I put my a*s in therapy. There's no way I'm going to let what happened to me define me and hurt others. I don't want to realize in twenty years that I married someone just like me dad. Or even worse, that I became him.
It's OK to be heavy once in awhile. The phrase the school of hard knocks didn't get coined in a vacuum, and that sort of thing is part of reality. To those who have never been abused, count your blessings and pass them on.
You started a brand new world! Family isn’t always good, but when it is, it’s so heartwarmingly humble and amazing! To know you can and did make a change, and break the cycle of abuse, is beyond ! Love always wins, when you take the time, to make it come first. You did that! And you are doing that! One day, you will be an amazing grandpa, too! May God continue to bless you and your family as you all love and grow!
This is so fabulous. Those kids are so blessed. Both of my late parents came from troubled backgrounds. My Mom family was close and loving but very poor. (Her father had mental health issues that made her family life challenging.) My Dad's family was a lot like this man's. Not a lot of physical abuse, but lots of verbal/emotional abuse. Dad told my youngest brother and I that he'd never had a happy Christmas as a kid. Which is significant not only on the face of it, but also because my childhood was the exact opposite of that. Mom and Dad married young, at 22 and 23, and had five kids by the time they were 29 and 30. They were such amazing parents. The fact that they both parented differently -- and better -- than they were themselves, is awe-inspiring. That they figured how to do that when they so damn young is breathtaking. Anytime I read a story like this, I am reminded of them.
growing up on the female side of that spectrum (mother/daughter), I had the same concerns when I started having my kids. In the end, it was a matter of choosing to be a different Mom, a better Mom, than the example I had. It can be done!
Very nice one .. I like the determination of the author not to be like his own dad which was probably quite horrible but make a change for his family.
I smiled at the last picture ( the one ice skating ) it really made me happy
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