Employee Informs Meeting’s Lead She’s Using A Breast Pump And Won’t Turn On Her Camera But They Insist So She Maliciously Complies
A recent post shared on r/MaliciousCompliance has sparked a heated debate on what it’s like to be a new mother in a patronizing workplace environment.
The woman who introduced herself as a project manager and data scientist and goes by the handle u/HappyGiraffe wrote that while she manages lots of different public health-related projects, one particular project put heavy pressure on her.
“I recently returned back to work from maternity leave. I work in my office three days a week; on those days, I have to pump breastmilk at regular intervals for my baby,” she explained. However, during one such Zoom call scheduled at the time she needed to pump, the uncomfortable situation evolved.
“Instead of missing the meeting, I figured I would just keep my camera off so I could wear my pump and still participate and listen,” the author wrote, but it turned out that the meeting lead was less than impressed with her camera being off. So the lead kept pushing for all cameras to be on, “no matter what.” I guess they got what they wanted…
In a recent post, a woman has shared how she was ordered to turn on her camera during a video meeting despite informing the host she was breast pumping at that time
Image credits: LinkedIn Sales Solutions (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ajay_suresh (not the actual photo)
Although society would much rather ignore it, being a successful woman in the workplace is different from being a man and it comes with its own unique challenges (and rewards). That includes not only the pressure of going back to work right after giving birth, but also the newly acquired duties like breast pumping and/or feeding the baby all while on duty.
In 2010, Section 7 of the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) was amended to require employers to provide basic accommodations, such as time and space, for breastfeeding mothers at work.
“Reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child’s birth each time such employee has need to express the milk” — U.S. Department of Labor Wage and Hour Division, Section 7(r) of the Fair Labor Standards Act — Break Time for Nursing Mothers Provision states.
However, when it comes to conferences or video meetings, the common etiquette may not be that clear. But according to Katie Hintz-Zambrano, co-founder of Mother and founder of Gather, “Women should do whatever is most comfortable to them, including whipping out their boobs and nursing for all to see.”
According to Hintz-Zambrano, “In general, the world needs to get less squeamish about seeing breasts when they are being used to feed babies—wherever that may be—instead of used to sell video games and magazines and everything else women’s sexualized bodies are used for,” she said.
Meanwhile, Jessica Shortall, the author of Work. Pump. Repeat: The New Mom’s Survival Guide, argues that “it shouldn’t come as a question of right or wrong, but as an assessment of how the people around you will react, balanced with a decision about how many sh*ts you have to give about those reactions.”
People questioned the “cameras on” policy and applauded the author’s move
Blah. For the last time, boobs are primarily for babies. Why do people get so damn offended every time they see them out of a sexual context? Don't you have the ability to understand the concept of context? BLAH. And every company should have some finesse when they talk to their employees.
Breast pumps can be loud. That's one consideration.
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During Teams, I MAYBE turn my camera on when I have to introduce myself to people I haven’t met yet. I really don’t understand why cameras must be on, when Covid first hit, people here moved meetings to Teams, and told everybody to keep cameras off, to save bandwidth. Also, who really wants to be seen by others or see other people.
*So* important to see other people's facial expressions to see how what is being said is coming across. It is a very important part of human evolution and socialisation.
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I've done countless online meetings since the pandemic started till now. What is important to be seen on the screen is presentation slides, Excel sheets and whatnots. Really, there is NO need to show your face. It contributes very little towards the effectiveness of the meeting.
THANK YOU!!! I would give you 1000 likes if I could.
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In one of my last meetings, one of my colleagues was breast feeding. Not one person brought attention to it. Humans feed our milk to our babies... its normal. It needs done done on a schedule several times a day. Unless we start getting paid maternity for 4-6 months this is just what it is.
I could see having a "cameras on" policy if there's a relatively small number of people, and there have been problems with people not adequately participating or paying attention in virtual meetings. But my general feeling is that the principal people who are going to be speaking should have cameras on. People there primarily to listen or take notes should keep cameras off to avoid being a distraction.
Why does the camera need to be on? Does the lead's voice not work if they can't see faces? In my experience, cameras are actually distracting because everyone is focused on not being weird while watching to see if anyone else is. Less distraction equals more productivity so turn off the camera unless for some unfathomable reason it's genuinely necessary.
In lockdown my English teacher insisted on camera on and then after 15 videos on I could not hear anything due to too high data flow. I told the teacher and the teacher changed the rule
I haven't turned my camera on in months. I've had the same team for several years and they already know what I look like. Their reason for insisting cameras be on is lame.
The inbound call centre where I work, we are sub-contractors for a major government department. The rule is that we have cameras on. Partly because the customer (government department heads) may review the recorded meeting later, partly because of politeness, and, like in-person meetings, you shouldn't be fidgeting with toys/ mobile phones/ guitars while you're supposed to be paying attention to learning new, important, work-relevant stuff. If you've decided to work from home commando that day, grow up and throw on a t-shirt even if it's only for the length of the meeting. That said. I agree. If you have a legitimate reason, by all means have the camera off.
"A simulated in-person meeting..." Yeah, that's what we call a "virtual meeting."
Why people aren't smart enough to deal with this sh!t before/after their meetings is beyond me. Unless it's a 3+ hour meeting with no breaks you've really got no excuse.
If you are on a regular schedule, then your mammory glands will let down at the appropriate time and milk will start dripping out of them. i had about 1 to 2 mins warning when I let down (as I could always feel it, some women can't) to get the pump going or things would have gotten messy.
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Great solution! Pump before or after your meeting. If you were in the office would you be busting out your pump there? Just saying let's keep it real and professional. And I know if you wait to long you could leak through you clothes and you may feel it's a waste of time to do it early but hey what ever works for you. Otherwise you could just say f it and pump onscreen, or cover it with a feeding blanket. Just saying you chose to have a child not your coworkers. Parenting is hard and you gotta figure out ways to work around it. My poor dad did it as a single parent with 3 girls, one who is mentally handicapped. AND HE DID A FANTASTIC JOB! Love my dad
Unless I have props I need to show, my camera is always off. There is no such thing as a "Simulated Live" meeting.
Sorry, but why couldn't she have waited an hour to pump? Or chosen to join the meeting after she was done? Or of she pumps on a regular schedule, discussed it with the organizer prior to the meeting to avoid all this?
Dumbest thing I've ever heard. Was someone going to die from her lack of being seen on camera otherwise sorry nothings that important.
That kind of unwaveringly callous and self righteous attitude to have the camera on would incite me to really mess with their heads by casually mopping up some red liquids, unfurling the tarp, and digging a big hole in the backyard, just to see the looks on their faces. Cameras are on, after all, right?
I would have turned the embarrassment dial to 11. "Even though I explained I was breast pumping, it was demanded I turn on my camera. Sorry to disappoint but you will not get to ogle my breasts today as the pump is covered by my shirt. Feel free to listen to the pump though."
The comment from some c**t equating cancer with breast pumping is as dumb as this c**t ! Breast milk could have been pumped before or after the meeting, this Femanazi, SJW, C**t was out to make a point. Pumping your tits is neither a life or death situation neither is it a time sensitive issue. Could have been done before or after the meeting
If you don't pump in a timely fashion you can get an infection -mastitis and it often needs treatment. Apparently you equate normal biological functions of mammals to being a "femanazi". Sounds like you're an a$$hole who knows very little about the topic. I'd love to see you experience a clogged duct and breast infection because some d**k thought he knew something.
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I've done a few meetings as well as conferences even now that lockdown is "forgotten" but video feeds from everyone slows down everything and I've never attended something that obliged me to put on my camera - more to the contrary. The camera of the person speaking is usually on, but rarely on their face, and it's usually their screen that they are sharing.
That was rude to say everyone had to turn their cameras on when she told the other organizer that she was pumping. Way out of line. We used to be forced to turn our cameras on in one team I was one but now on my other team no one turns them on. I mean....during covid I was sitting there at work in my pajamas and bed head. I didn't wantt to be on camera. I disagree however with this statement: "But according to Katie Hintz-Zambrano, co-founder of Mother and founder of Gather, “Women should do whatever is most comfortable to them, including whipping out their boobs and nursing for all to see.” No. Incorrect. While I am fine with someone's choice to breastfeed as is their right, other ppl too have rights whether u like it or not and should be able to go about their day without seeing someone's body parts if they don't want to. The key is to be respectful of EVERYONE'S rights so maybe pumping, maybe more private breast feeding places, maybe a breastfeeding cover etc
While people probably shouldn't be swinging their t*tties all over, you can simply look away if it bothers you. I do the same thing when someone's underwear is hanging out. I don't want to see it, I look at something else
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I don't think it has anything to do with Roe V Wade...? It's literally the same as every other site though with all the other Mother's Day stuff (which is confusing af for us in the UK as Mothering Sunday was in March...)
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What do you mean, here she was breast pumping alone in her office while in a Teams meeting. Basically a phone call with a lot of people, where you can mute yourself. Another option would have been not to participate, but why would she have to do that? Well, if you need an in-person example of what you said, then: Icelandic politician breast-fed her baby while giving a (in-person) speech at the Parliament. The speech was also televised. So…
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Blah. For the last time, boobs are primarily for babies. Why do people get so damn offended every time they see them out of a sexual context? Don't you have the ability to understand the concept of context? BLAH. And every company should have some finesse when they talk to their employees.
Breast pumps can be loud. That's one consideration.
Load More Replies... During Teams, I MAYBE turn my camera on when I have to introduce myself to people I haven’t met yet. I really don’t understand why cameras must be on, when Covid first hit, people here moved meetings to Teams, and told everybody to keep cameras off, to save bandwidth. Also, who really wants to be seen by others or see other people.
*So* important to see other people's facial expressions to see how what is being said is coming across. It is a very important part of human evolution and socialisation.
Load More Replies... I've done countless online meetings since the pandemic started till now. What is important to be seen on the screen is presentation slides, Excel sheets and whatnots. Really, there is NO need to show your face. It contributes very little towards the effectiveness of the meeting.
THANK YOU!!! I would give you 1000 likes if I could.
Load More Replies... In one of my last meetings, one of my colleagues was breast feeding. Not one person brought attention to it. Humans feed our milk to our babies... its normal. It needs done done on a schedule several times a day. Unless we start getting paid maternity for 4-6 months this is just what it is.
I could see having a "cameras on" policy if there's a relatively small number of people, and there have been problems with people not adequately participating or paying attention in virtual meetings. But my general feeling is that the principal people who are going to be speaking should have cameras on. People there primarily to listen or take notes should keep cameras off to avoid being a distraction.
Why does the camera need to be on? Does the lead's voice not work if they can't see faces? In my experience, cameras are actually distracting because everyone is focused on not being weird while watching to see if anyone else is. Less distraction equals more productivity so turn off the camera unless for some unfathomable reason it's genuinely necessary.
In lockdown my English teacher insisted on camera on and then after 15 videos on I could not hear anything due to too high data flow. I told the teacher and the teacher changed the rule
I haven't turned my camera on in months. I've had the same team for several years and they already know what I look like. Their reason for insisting cameras be on is lame.
The inbound call centre where I work, we are sub-contractors for a major government department. The rule is that we have cameras on. Partly because the customer (government department heads) may review the recorded meeting later, partly because of politeness, and, like in-person meetings, you shouldn't be fidgeting with toys/ mobile phones/ guitars while you're supposed to be paying attention to learning new, important, work-relevant stuff. If you've decided to work from home commando that day, grow up and throw on a t-shirt even if it's only for the length of the meeting. That said. I agree. If you have a legitimate reason, by all means have the camera off.
"A simulated in-person meeting..." Yeah, that's what we call a "virtual meeting."
Why people aren't smart enough to deal with this sh!t before/after their meetings is beyond me. Unless it's a 3+ hour meeting with no breaks you've really got no excuse.
If you are on a regular schedule, then your mammory glands will let down at the appropriate time and milk will start dripping out of them. i had about 1 to 2 mins warning when I let down (as I could always feel it, some women can't) to get the pump going or things would have gotten messy.
Load More Replies... Great solution! Pump before or after your meeting. If you were in the office would you be busting out your pump there? Just saying let's keep it real and professional. And I know if you wait to long you could leak through you clothes and you may feel it's a waste of time to do it early but hey what ever works for you. Otherwise you could just say f it and pump onscreen, or cover it with a feeding blanket. Just saying you chose to have a child not your coworkers. Parenting is hard and you gotta figure out ways to work around it. My poor dad did it as a single parent with 3 girls, one who is mentally handicapped. AND HE DID A FANTASTIC JOB! Love my dad
Unless I have props I need to show, my camera is always off. There is no such thing as a "Simulated Live" meeting.
Sorry, but why couldn't she have waited an hour to pump? Or chosen to join the meeting after she was done? Or of she pumps on a regular schedule, discussed it with the organizer prior to the meeting to avoid all this?
Dumbest thing I've ever heard. Was someone going to die from her lack of being seen on camera otherwise sorry nothings that important.
That kind of unwaveringly callous and self righteous attitude to have the camera on would incite me to really mess with their heads by casually mopping up some red liquids, unfurling the tarp, and digging a big hole in the backyard, just to see the looks on their faces. Cameras are on, after all, right?
I would have turned the embarrassment dial to 11. "Even though I explained I was breast pumping, it was demanded I turn on my camera. Sorry to disappoint but you will not get to ogle my breasts today as the pump is covered by my shirt. Feel free to listen to the pump though."
The comment from some c**t equating cancer with breast pumping is as dumb as this c**t ! Breast milk could have been pumped before or after the meeting, this Femanazi, SJW, C**t was out to make a point. Pumping your tits is neither a life or death situation neither is it a time sensitive issue. Could have been done before or after the meeting
If you don't pump in a timely fashion you can get an infection -mastitis and it often needs treatment. Apparently you equate normal biological functions of mammals to being a "femanazi". Sounds like you're an a$$hole who knows very little about the topic. I'd love to see you experience a clogged duct and breast infection because some d**k thought he knew something.
Load More Replies... I've done a few meetings as well as conferences even now that lockdown is "forgotten" but video feeds from everyone slows down everything and I've never attended something that obliged me to put on my camera - more to the contrary. The camera of the person speaking is usually on, but rarely on their face, and it's usually their screen that they are sharing.
That was rude to say everyone had to turn their cameras on when she told the other organizer that she was pumping. Way out of line. We used to be forced to turn our cameras on in one team I was one but now on my other team no one turns them on. I mean....during covid I was sitting there at work in my pajamas and bed head. I didn't wantt to be on camera. I disagree however with this statement: "But according to Katie Hintz-Zambrano, co-founder of Mother and founder of Gather, “Women should do whatever is most comfortable to them, including whipping out their boobs and nursing for all to see.” No. Incorrect. While I am fine with someone's choice to breastfeed as is their right, other ppl too have rights whether u like it or not and should be able to go about their day without seeing someone's body parts if they don't want to. The key is to be respectful of EVERYONE'S rights so maybe pumping, maybe more private breast feeding places, maybe a breastfeeding cover etc
While people probably shouldn't be swinging their t*tties all over, you can simply look away if it bothers you. I do the same thing when someone's underwear is hanging out. I don't want to see it, I look at something else
Load More Replies... I don't think it has anything to do with Roe V Wade...? It's literally the same as every other site though with all the other Mother's Day stuff (which is confusing af for us in the UK as Mothering Sunday was in March...)
Load More Replies... What do you mean, here she was breast pumping alone in her office while in a Teams meeting. Basically a phone call with a lot of people, where you can mute yourself. Another option would have been not to participate, but why would she have to do that? Well, if you need an in-person example of what you said, then: Icelandic politician breast-fed her baby while giving a (in-person) speech at the Parliament. The speech was also televised. So…
Load More Replies...
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