Men Rant About How Oblivious Women Are To Their Privilege, Eat Their Own Words When One Of Them Replies
If you’re a fan of equality, respect, and just plain old kindness, dear Pandas, then this story might just make your blood boil with anger. A redditor shared a screenshot of a conversation between a couple of men and a woman on Reddit that quickly got heated because of how disrespectful they were being.
According to the furious men, women in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and math) education are supposedly “oblivious to their privilege” and “get more attention” at work from their colleagues. Well, the woman wasn’t having any of this steaming pile of nonsense and had the perfect response. She went into detail about just how hard women have it at work and shut the man’s argument down in style.
You’ll find her full response below. Have a read and let us know what you think, Pandas. And if you have any bright ideas about ending discrimination against women in education, let us know in the comments.
Image credits: Elisa Ventur (not the actual photo)
A woman in STEM education (in blue) shut down a couple of insulting guys by sharing how exactly she’s discriminated against
The fact that women are discriminated against in the workplace is crystal clear to many, even if some male redditors still like to hide their heads in the sand. Similarly, it’s clear that equality in STEM is a huge positive, but not everyone got the memo, apparently.
The inequality doesn’t stop when you get your diploma, however. Writer and human rights advocate Elizabeth Arif-Fear, the founder of ‘Voice of Salam,’ previously explained to Bored Panda that women face sexist attitudes, barriers to entry, and even harassment because of their gender. Both in the workplace and outside of it.
According to her, some of the solutions to sexism at work include continuing to “dismantle gender-based stereotypes about gender roles,” pushing for “full parity in dividing unpaid work at home with their partners,” and reporting incidents of harassment. For instance, one type of discrimination would be the “illegal questioning of their marital status in job interviews.”
In Elizabeth’s view, actively fighting back against the discrimination that women face will eventually “smash the glass ceiling.” She shared some words of encouragement: “Ladies, you can do it! Please believe in yourself!”
However, men need to actively do their part, too. Elizabeth said that this needs to take place not just at the office, but also at home. “Likewise, partners need to do their share at home, colleagues should check their attitudes (e.g. sexist comments), not mansplain in meetings, and managers and employers should ensure that they are creating fair equal opportunities and spaces at the table. Consideration for those with childcare responsibilities is also important.”
Internet users couldn’t believe what they were reading
Some redditors shared their own experiences at their jobs
Here’s what others thought about discrimination against women in education and at work
And the worsr part is that these kind of men are the most homophobic and shallow ones. They would be extremely uncomfortable just thinking about unatractive women or men giving them any attention.
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Men have always been good at excluding women from what they consider to be their own spaces. They monopolized medicine by calling all the women healers witches and having them burned. They monopolized education by proclaiming that women's brains were too small and they were too emotional to waste an education on. They monopolized sport by saying women were too weak to compete. And women have had to fight and fight to participate. Even now, women in the military are routinely beaten, raped and even murdered for daring to step on hallowed male ground. In the gaming and IT/tech communities, women are demeaned and threatened. It's never ending. There is no female privilege of any kind in male-dominated spaces.
Some men apparently think having the "opportunity" to become the professor's favourite target for "sex in exchange for good grades" advances is an advantage.
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Wow, I didn't really realize until I read the comments that the "attention" that douche was referring to was romantic/sexual attention. I thought he was stupid enough to suggest that women in the STEM field get more attention for their accomplishments and she's was pointing out what she has to put up with, and I was like what planet are you from that you think that's true at all. But it was so much worse. I wonder what planet and what millennia he's from that he thinks being sexually harassed on the daily is a fun and wonderful thing to happen. I applaud her for sticking it out. The low amounts of women in the STEM fields is because they are basically chased out like this woman.
He's from incel planet where they are all brainwashed.
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The level of everyday sexism in STEM professions is really alarming when you actually witness it. Since working from home became a thing I have been sitting across from my wife, who holds a fairly senior position in academic publishing. It's shocking. In the last WEEK alone there were five incidents where people (men) made assumptions about her based on gender. The funniest was when she did an interview, and after 1.5 hour (and a previous screening round) the only question the interviewee had was "who will I be reporting to and when can I meet them?" Like- my wife has just spent the last 1.5 hours asking you questions, who did you think would be reporting to??!!! There were also two instances of people writing emails in which she was referred to either as a male (she uses Dr. title) or expressly referred to as "Miss" when they knew her first name (despite her having her title, and 'PhD Cantab' clearly stated on her email signature). Remember this is ONE WEEK.
Wow, when did reddit become 4chan? The two "men" who posted that absolute s**t can f**k right off. "Check your privilege." Seriously? Go die in a fire.
"You'd go further if you just met my expectations of what a female in this field should be and got my coffee". Which was what he meant, tho' didn't have the guts to say.
I learned that whenever I start a new job, i immediately inform my boss that I will not ever be 'getting coffee' for people unless i'm going for myself and I offer to pickup/make some for others. "If you want coffee, get it yourself. God gave you legs, use them." Haven't been forced to be the 'coffee/tea girl' since I was 25. I find that if you shove in their face that they're a lazy, fat sack of shi* if they won't even get up to go get their own coffee, they stop asking you to do it for them. Especially with male employers, I find you have to give them the Mom "i'm not your fuc*ing slave, now do your own skidmark laundry!" attitude, you don't get asked to do half the demeaning menial tasks they love to assign to underlings that they're capable of doing themselves. I did take it too far one day when a boss complained I didn't cut the crusts off his sandwich, so I said "no problem, do you need me to chew your food and wipe your ars* for you too?" in front of his friends. Only job I was ever fired from.
Load More Replies... I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. I was on the phone explaining to my insurance company that my husband was not even present at my car accident, but I had to file the claim in his name anyway, because when we got married they automatically switched all my insurance over to his account - even though I pay for it myself - and their online system would not allow me to fill out a claim form in my own name. You were saying something about female privilege?
Make sure you get that fixed, they charge men more due to the fact that men cause way more Accidents with their "superior intellect"
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A co worker once said to me “you girls have it so easy, if you lose a job you can earn money again straight away” of course I had to ask how “you can go into any strip club or become a prostitute, men can’t do that so there is always a way for you to make money thats not available to us” I had to bite back and ask him if he had not heard of the term ‘gay for pay’!
Was the only female in the ENTIRE Marine Corps in my high tech field. Harassment was crippling then, and continues.
Yes I've heard the horrible, horrible stories. Unfortunately this situation is not even common knowledge and most just refuse to talk about it at all or even outright deny it. It makes me so mad that this isn't talked about more often or made to be common knowledge. People need to know
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So glad I found a job where most of my peers and supervisers are female. They thought of me as male at first, but as they got to know me that dropped off. I have no real life interaction with guys like this.
Reddit isn't half as bad as 4Chan, my abusive ex LOVED that site and kept making friends with all the other incels on it. I now take it as a sign that if a guy ever says he scrolls 4Chan, I run in the opposite direction like a fire was lit under my as*.
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There was a point where I was so sick of the kind of harassment the OP is talking about, that I decided I would turn the tables any time I had the chance. So, if I was out in a club with friends (who were given a heads up about my plan), and some guy wouldn’t let us alone, I would just do the same s**t right back at him, only a bit scarier since guys just don’t seem to understand the fear part of women’s experience of harassment. I didn’t like doing those things, and felt like an asshole while putting on the act, but did give myself a good way to end it, by dropping the act and asking each of them how it felt. When told it made them uncomfortable, embarrassed, and threatened, I told them to hold onto that feeling and remember it when they even think of doing the same to a woman in the future. Then I’d turn around and leave. I’ve never given a s**t about calling out assholes—-it shocked people when I was young (70s-80s). I give even less of a s**t now that I’m old.
Unfortunately she's on one of those incel subReddits. Hence the downvotes.
These incels don't get it and never ever will. Harassing is not the same thing as complimenting. Not listening to someone's knowledge on a subject because they are "so pretty" is rude and condescending. Making people uncomfortable to be around you by being inappropriate is not flirting. Asking someone for inappropriate photos is not a compliment either. Neither is invading someone else's personal space.
Flirting doesn't need to be done in the classroom or at a job, anyway. Compliments should be reserved for their skill in these settings.
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I know some women programmers who was getting lower grades than their male colleagues on university, because their professors didn't believe girls could write so good code by themselves...
I didn't see it mentioned but it's clear that - as is often the case - the only women this guy even recognizes are attractive women. Instead of "Women have it bad because they may pass or fail depending solely on how they look," he thinks the story is "Women have it good because they get ahead just by being hot."
She is 100% right but what tf did she expect making comments like that on incel forums? It's like trying to teach quantum physics to an ostrich. They don't care about what you have to say, only thing that matters to them is their own opinion. She's a bit of a dumbass for even bothering to argue with them.
Had a man comment on my breasts at 14 (he was 80s-90s) after following me for 2 block but sure I'm privileged
Some men only think it's priviledge because they consider being hit on as a priviledge and not as unwanted. Like, how lucky we are to be fawned over. Then it becomes 'it's so unfair they get all that attention and I don't' and eventually it turns into, 'why is she complaining, she's so lucky?! Women are oversensitive and get all the breaks. I hate them.' It speaks more to how some men view sexual crimes. I get it-there are plenty of women out there volunteering to be objectified, partying it up on Leo Dicaprio's yacht. I don't feel bad for them. I do feel for women who are trying to do their jobs or walk down the street without dealing with these types of guys who have the ordacity to think that when they get attention from their male professors, friends or bosses, it's priviledge. It's like saying that you're lucky you were hurt and had to go to the hospital because you got attention from doctors.
I'm sorry this woman had such a bad experience but that is her experience, not the norm. I got my degree in computer science and worked for many years in the field and I was singled out for being female in only 2 ways: In college I was offered a special internship because I was a female and at my first job I was brought along on sales calls because I was more presentable than the male programmers (who dressed like slobs). And this was back in the 1980s before people were woke. I suspect things have only gotten better since.
Sorry, Margaret, while I am delighted that your experience was so good, it isn’t “the norm”. I’ve worked more than thirty years in IT, observing and experiencing generalized, “self-proclaimed” men act in harassing, patronizing, ways towards women in our field. I’m afraid you are an exception, not the rule.
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Sure, these guys are assholes, no denying that. But did this post REALLY need to go full on SJW? "WAHMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN DA WERKPLAICE!!!!!!!" Shut the f**k up b***h, no they aren't. Just because you have shitty coworkers that doesn't mean people are people are hunting you down for having a male-dominated job. That fact that you were accepted at all proves that. And any time I see that feminazi word (mansplaining) I want to shove a chainsaw into anybody who says it.
So, which part of her list did you somehow misinterpret as a privilege?
Load More Replies... And the worsr part is that these kind of men are the most homophobic and shallow ones. They would be extremely uncomfortable just thinking about unatractive women or men giving them any attention.
Load More Replies... Men have always been good at excluding women from what they consider to be their own spaces. They monopolized medicine by calling all the women healers witches and having them burned. They monopolized education by proclaiming that women's brains were too small and they were too emotional to waste an education on. They monopolized sport by saying women were too weak to compete. And women have had to fight and fight to participate. Even now, women in the military are routinely beaten, raped and even murdered for daring to step on hallowed male ground. In the gaming and IT/tech communities, women are demeaned and threatened. It's never ending. There is no female privilege of any kind in male-dominated spaces.
Some men apparently think having the "opportunity" to become the professor's favourite target for "sex in exchange for good grades" advances is an advantage.
Load More Replies... Wow, I didn't really realize until I read the comments that the "attention" that douche was referring to was romantic/sexual attention. I thought he was stupid enough to suggest that women in the STEM field get more attention for their accomplishments and she's was pointing out what she has to put up with, and I was like what planet are you from that you think that's true at all. But it was so much worse. I wonder what planet and what millennia he's from that he thinks being sexually harassed on the daily is a fun and wonderful thing to happen. I applaud her for sticking it out. The low amounts of women in the STEM fields is because they are basically chased out like this woman.
He's from incel planet where they are all brainwashed.
Load More Replies... The level of everyday sexism in STEM professions is really alarming when you actually witness it. Since working from home became a thing I have been sitting across from my wife, who holds a fairly senior position in academic publishing. It's shocking. In the last WEEK alone there were five incidents where people (men) made assumptions about her based on gender. The funniest was when she did an interview, and after 1.5 hour (and a previous screening round) the only question the interviewee had was "who will I be reporting to and when can I meet them?" Like- my wife has just spent the last 1.5 hours asking you questions, who did you think would be reporting to??!!! There were also two instances of people writing emails in which she was referred to either as a male (she uses Dr. title) or expressly referred to as "Miss" when they knew her first name (despite her having her title, and 'PhD Cantab' clearly stated on her email signature). Remember this is ONE WEEK.
Wow, when did reddit become 4chan? The two "men" who posted that absolute s**t can f**k right off. "Check your privilege." Seriously? Go die in a fire.
"You'd go further if you just met my expectations of what a female in this field should be and got my coffee". Which was what he meant, tho' didn't have the guts to say.
I learned that whenever I start a new job, i immediately inform my boss that I will not ever be 'getting coffee' for people unless i'm going for myself and I offer to pickup/make some for others. "If you want coffee, get it yourself. God gave you legs, use them." Haven't been forced to be the 'coffee/tea girl' since I was 25. I find that if you shove in their face that they're a lazy, fat sack of shi* if they won't even get up to go get their own coffee, they stop asking you to do it for them. Especially with male employers, I find you have to give them the Mom "i'm not your fuc*ing slave, now do your own skidmark laundry!" attitude, you don't get asked to do half the demeaning menial tasks they love to assign to underlings that they're capable of doing themselves. I did take it too far one day when a boss complained I didn't cut the crusts off his sandwich, so I said "no problem, do you need me to chew your food and wipe your ars* for you too?" in front of his friends. Only job I was ever fired from.
Load More Replies... I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. I was on the phone explaining to my insurance company that my husband was not even present at my car accident, but I had to file the claim in his name anyway, because when we got married they automatically switched all my insurance over to his account - even though I pay for it myself - and their online system would not allow me to fill out a claim form in my own name. You were saying something about female privilege?
Make sure you get that fixed, they charge men more due to the fact that men cause way more Accidents with their "superior intellect"
Load More Replies... A co worker once said to me “you girls have it so easy, if you lose a job you can earn money again straight away” of course I had to ask how “you can go into any strip club or become a prostitute, men can’t do that so there is always a way for you to make money thats not available to us” I had to bite back and ask him if he had not heard of the term ‘gay for pay’!
Was the only female in the ENTIRE Marine Corps in my high tech field. Harassment was crippling then, and continues.
Yes I've heard the horrible, horrible stories. Unfortunately this situation is not even common knowledge and most just refuse to talk about it at all or even outright deny it. It makes me so mad that this isn't talked about more often or made to be common knowledge. People need to know
Load More Replies... So glad I found a job where most of my peers and supervisers are female. They thought of me as male at first, but as they got to know me that dropped off. I have no real life interaction with guys like this.
Reddit isn't half as bad as 4Chan, my abusive ex LOVED that site and kept making friends with all the other incels on it. I now take it as a sign that if a guy ever says he scrolls 4Chan, I run in the opposite direction like a fire was lit under my as*.
Load More Replies... There was a point where I was so sick of the kind of harassment the OP is talking about, that I decided I would turn the tables any time I had the chance. So, if I was out in a club with friends (who were given a heads up about my plan), and some guy wouldn’t let us alone, I would just do the same s**t right back at him, only a bit scarier since guys just don’t seem to understand the fear part of women’s experience of harassment. I didn’t like doing those things, and felt like an asshole while putting on the act, but did give myself a good way to end it, by dropping the act and asking each of them how it felt. When told it made them uncomfortable, embarrassed, and threatened, I told them to hold onto that feeling and remember it when they even think of doing the same to a woman in the future. Then I’d turn around and leave. I’ve never given a s**t about calling out assholes—-it shocked people when I was young (70s-80s). I give even less of a s**t now that I’m old.
Unfortunately she's on one of those incel subReddits. Hence the downvotes.
These incels don't get it and never ever will. Harassing is not the same thing as complimenting. Not listening to someone's knowledge on a subject because they are "so pretty" is rude and condescending. Making people uncomfortable to be around you by being inappropriate is not flirting. Asking someone for inappropriate photos is not a compliment either. Neither is invading someone else's personal space.
Flirting doesn't need to be done in the classroom or at a job, anyway. Compliments should be reserved for their skill in these settings.
Load More Replies... I know some women programmers who was getting lower grades than their male colleagues on university, because their professors didn't believe girls could write so good code by themselves...
I didn't see it mentioned but it's clear that - as is often the case - the only women this guy even recognizes are attractive women. Instead of "Women have it bad because they may pass or fail depending solely on how they look," he thinks the story is "Women have it good because they get ahead just by being hot."
She is 100% right but what tf did she expect making comments like that on incel forums? It's like trying to teach quantum physics to an ostrich. They don't care about what you have to say, only thing that matters to them is their own opinion. She's a bit of a dumbass for even bothering to argue with them.
Had a man comment on my breasts at 14 (he was 80s-90s) after following me for 2 block but sure I'm privileged
Some men only think it's priviledge because they consider being hit on as a priviledge and not as unwanted. Like, how lucky we are to be fawned over. Then it becomes 'it's so unfair they get all that attention and I don't' and eventually it turns into, 'why is she complaining, she's so lucky?! Women are oversensitive and get all the breaks. I hate them.' It speaks more to how some men view sexual crimes. I get it-there are plenty of women out there volunteering to be objectified, partying it up on Leo Dicaprio's yacht. I don't feel bad for them. I do feel for women who are trying to do their jobs or walk down the street without dealing with these types of guys who have the ordacity to think that when they get attention from their male professors, friends or bosses, it's priviledge. It's like saying that you're lucky you were hurt and had to go to the hospital because you got attention from doctors.
I'm sorry this woman had such a bad experience but that is her experience, not the norm. I got my degree in computer science and worked for many years in the field and I was singled out for being female in only 2 ways: In college I was offered a special internship because I was a female and at my first job I was brought along on sales calls because I was more presentable than the male programmers (who dressed like slobs). And this was back in the 1980s before people were woke. I suspect things have only gotten better since.
Sorry, Margaret, while I am delighted that your experience was so good, it isn’t “the norm”. I’ve worked more than thirty years in IT, observing and experiencing generalized, “self-proclaimed” men act in harassing, patronizing, ways towards women in our field. I’m afraid you are an exception, not the rule.
Load More Replies... Sure, these guys are assholes, no denying that. But did this post REALLY need to go full on SJW? "WAHMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST IN DA WERKPLAICE!!!!!!!" Shut the f**k up b***h, no they aren't. Just because you have shitty coworkers that doesn't mean people are people are hunting you down for having a male-dominated job. That fact that you were accepted at all proves that. And any time I see that feminazi word (mansplaining) I want to shove a chainsaw into anybody who says it.
So, which part of her list did you somehow misinterpret as a privilege?
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