20 Ways Pregnancy Permanently Changed The Structure Of These Women’s Bodies, As Shared On Twitter
Science has a pretty good idea how a life is born in a woman’s body and how the baby is formed, but it is still truly a miracle that a person can carry a new life inside them and then release it to the world to be a whole person with their own personality, thoughts and goals they want to achieve.
But this whole process is a laborious one and leaves women suffering the consequences for their whole lives. It’s just another reason why women shouldn’t be forced to give birth if they don’t want to. And it’s not just gaining weight and being dissatisfied with your looks for a while. It’s actually a lot more serious and not enough people know about it or just don’t want to listen.
Writer Amber Sparks doesn’t care if people don’t want to know the truth – they will anyway, especially because her tweet bringing attention to the fact that women’s skeletons deform during pregnancy went viral with 311k likes.
More info: Twitter
Mom on Twitter revealed what things happen to women’s bodies after giving birth and it’s quite a strong argument for why nobody should be forced to have kids
Image credits: Kevin Stanchfield (not the actual photo)
Amber Sparks is a writer and a mom from the US who, as she introduces herself on her website, loves “books and art and politics and grammar and theater and music and video games and history and technology and all kinds of movies, especially monster movies and noir and spaghetti westerns and the Marx Brothers.”
She has over 47k followers on Twitter where she shares things from her daily mom life, opinions on what’s happening currently in the world, like Met Galas, and speaks her opinion about women’s rights.
The woman claims that the effects of pregnancy don’t last just 9 months as it literally causes changes to the skeletal structure
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Pregnant women also have to do a complete wardrobe change and won’t be able to revert to their old one to once they’ve given birth
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Other women added that not only the rib cage changed, but their pelvis became bigger
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Recently one of her tweets went really viral with more than 311k likes and in that post, Amber brought up a fact that maybe not a lot of people are aware of, which is that when women are pregnant, their skeletal structure changes and it doesn’t go back to its original place after giving birth.
So when governments decide that women don’t have a right to have an abortion, at the same time they give them a new rib cage, a different pelvis, bigger feet, and weaker teeth, and to anyone with basic human decency, this should seem appalling.
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Some of them noticed that their teeth became really bad or that their hair started falling out
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Also, try telling women who don’t want to have children why they have to buy new clothing to fit on their new bodies that they will never wear once the pregnancy is over or why they have to suffer from fallen arches on their feet and buy special shoes to support them.
These are just some of the examples of changes women go through that Amber chose to mention, but women responding to the tweet had even more things to say. Other women revealed that they have a weak bladder, their hair is falling out, their abdominal muscles are destroyed, and they developed some random allergies, such as to eggs or their own cats.
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Their bladder became weak and their abdominal muscles got all messed up
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Women who want a baby get educated about these things and do their research, and if they decide to still have a child, that means they are prepared to deal with the complications if they come. Other women didn’t sign up for this and for some, the only way they could change their situation is illegal.
Even the moms in this thread who do have children, love them with all their hearts, feel that children make their lives complete and are worth the pain agree that it is a horrible thing to force someone to give birth when they don’t want to.
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A weird one that several women mentioned was that they became allergic to certain things like eggs, cat saliva, or metal
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Actually, just not wanting kids should be a good enough reason to not make women have them, because according to Pew Research Center’s survey data, 56 percent of people who are between the ages 18 and 49 and don’t have children give this very reason to explain why they are not very likely or likely at all to become parents.
The other 43 percent have reasons that include medical and financial reasons, not having a partner, their age, the state of the world and the environment, or because their partner doesn’t want kids.
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And while they love their children, they understand why someone wouldn’t want to go through all of this
Image credits: Micah Sittig (not the actual photo)
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The number of people wanting to stay childless will likely be increasing and the Australian Bureau of Statistics predicts that in the nearest decade, there will be more couples who choose to remain child-free than those with kids.
But sometimes women get pregnant when they don’t plan to, that is why they should have the option of abortion as pregnancy has lasting physical and emotional effects that lower their quality of life.
So for those who think that the most annoying thing pregnancy causes is weight gain, it is actually the easiest problem to fix out of all of them
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What do you think of Amber’s thoughts? Did you know how severely a woman’s body can change and deteriorate after giving birth? Have you experienced it yourself? Let us know your thoughts and reactions in the comments!
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Share on FacebookMy rib cage is wider along w my hips. My hormones totally changed to the point that sex made me so sick to my stomach bc the thought of body fluids disgusted me for years. Terrible anxiety for years. Was never myself again. The new me wasn't as happy as the old me bc now I understood how debilitating anxiety was going to be the rest of my life. Never got the feeling back in my abdomen after my c section. Developed vascular problems in my legs. Didn't have another child bc of the hormone imbalance together w the horrible anxiety later developed depression bc I couldn't relieve the anxiety at all. My best friends uterus would fall out of her body after her second one. Her third pregnancy was an empty egg wo a life saving D & C her uterus would've ruptured. She would've have died wo that abortion. Rape is less criminal than an abortion now telling women that a rapist now has more rights to a woman's body if she gets pregnant
F**CK THAT! The first time I heard about that happening, I was outraged BEYOND belief!! A rapist should never be allowed to prevent his victim from receiving an abortion!! Another stupid law that, mainly men, will probably pass!! God, what has our world come to???? :(
Load More Replies...Thank you to all you women for sharing the truth, I don't want to bring another soul into this world, I already suffer from autoimmune disorders. I'm 34 with16 years of hashimotos and ovarian cysts. Surgeries, fatigue, pain and medication is my lifestyle. As much as I would love my baby I think I will just choose to love myself more. I will adopt and give an already present human being a good life.
I give every mother props for wanting to have a baby. Nothing I've ever heard about pregnancy sounds pleasant.
There are some amazing times during it but it does take its toll on your body, my back has never been the same since. Keep getting sciatica
Load More Replies...I had an easy pregnancy. I "only" ended up with diastasis recti (a separation of my abdominal muscles) and a rare complication involving my retina, which mostly went away after I gave birth, but the vision in that eye is still a bit blurry and distorted (and not correctable with glasses). Oh, and I tore quite badly during birth. I love my daughter and she was worth it, but anyone who wants to force someone to go through this should be forced into something like this themselves.
I had the best pregnancy I literally felt like I had superpowers I felt amazing. It was after I had her that almost destroyed my mental health bc of hormone imbalance and terrifying non ending anxiety. Life saving D & Cs are for physical and mental womens healthcare. They are saying pregnancy is a punishment for having sex like consent to sex is consent to pregnancy. We're not forced to give our kidneys to a dying child but they're forcing us to give all of our organs and brain over to an entity that might kill us whether we chose to get pregnant or not. Politicians are now given the rights to womens bodies more than doctors are. If this was about killing babies why are they criminalizing birth control. The Catholic Church says babies aren't human until their first breath when they're being sued. This is all so horrific. So many women and little girls are going to die painful preventable deaths
Load More Replies...We are allowing the church to have a say in government which is the problem here. Hate to point out the obvious but that reason to justify reversing roe vs wade should be illegal. Church has no place is government.
I think it's really great that people are honest about this! I have three kids and lost the weight pretty quickly after each pregnancy but my hips are wider, I have stretch marks, some loose skin and pretty saggy boobs (not from breastfeeding though, that is a myth but pregnancy hormones are brutal). Also, what no one told me; that it's considered normal that your vagina (and nerve endings) can take a year to recover and shift back after a vaginal birth (if they do) so sex could be really boring or painful during that time. When I was 6months pp after my second child I was afraid that something was wrong with me when sex wasn't enjoyable AT ALL so I booked an appointment and learned this. No one told me that, only the 6week mark but that's apparently only for the sake of infection, not that it's recovered by then. So many pregnancy related issues are considered normal and something you just have to live with. And maybe that's fine if it is YOUR choice to take that risk.
My feet grew almost two sizes when I was pregnant and they haven't changed. I also have hip deformities which were reasonably in a stable position but my second pregnancy f****d them up. I ended up lopsided coz one side of my hip sat higher than the other side, I also ended up with bursitis and a torn ligament in my right hip. Now I have constant hip problems. My weight certainly doesnt help though.
Oh wow, that really sucks. This thread is making me not want to have children even more. I feel sorry for you having to go through all this pain.
Load More Replies...I know someone who always wanted to have kids. And kids take an immediate liking to her(same with adults,she is extremely nice and a genuine person overall).Last year she got pregnant and all of us were thrilled for her. She was told around 10 days before her due date that she is going to have a stillborn.I don't know what reasons but her stillborn was taken out from her on due date. She had 9 months of pregnancy to not have a baby. She had more than 6 months of leave and everyone knew she was on maternity leave and she does not have a baby. She endured for 9 months but I can't imagine the last few days when she knew she won't have a live birth. I know it's mostly safe nowadays. But there are many ways it could change you and not always for the better .
I had a coworker who's 9-month pregnancy ended the day she was supposed to start her maternity leave. The baby's umbilical cord bacame wrapped around his neck. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I would not wish that loss on anyone!
Load More Replies...This made me think about all the mothers I know (and I know a lot) and how they seem "normal" to me. Even just for a statistic matter, at least some of them might suffer from pain or health problems related to their pregnancy and they just don't show it. Therefore I'm thinking about how little we know about people, how sometimes they live their life, they work, they have a social life and all and at the same time they suffer, they feel pain, etc. We really don't know what it's going on with the fellow man, they might seem alright but they're not. So we really really should think twice before we speak. That's my naive two cents.
Not naive. Just true. I love the quote at my 'pain management' doctors' office: be kind, for you don't know what battle the other person may be fighting'. No matter the gender or problem, you're right in that we don't know people and what they are going through. In the usa, there seems to be a stigma against taking about illness, mental or otherwise. This Puritanical notion of 'suck it up and deal with it'. It's complete s**t.
Load More Replies...Thank you for sharing the stories about the damage pregnancy does to a body even if it "goes well". You never get it back. "No big deal" or "peopel did it for hundreds of thousands of years". Yes, and until very recently in human history, thel eading cause of death in adult women was.... childbirth.
I actually read somewhere that when it comes to childbirth, women’s pelvises have not evolved accordingly and that’s why a lot suffer with pregnancy and childbirth. They said that animals have evolved a lot more and are better suited for birth.
Load More Replies...My pregnancy was relatively easy but the birth was horrendous. My pelvis was the wrong shape for natural childbirth but they insisted that I had to try it - I was in the Netherlands and there were insisting on a home birth which I vetoed. I dilated to 6cm and no further; they pumped me full of oxitocin to force contractions, nearly ruptured my bladder (never recovered) I had contractions for 24 hours before they decided to break the amniotic sac - fluid full of meconium so quick epidural and emergency C-section. I nearly died from haemorrhaging. I also have diastasis recti (hole I can put my fist through). I have pelvic instability which means the ligaments in my sacrum are loose and my pelvis twist from side to side causing hip pain, knee pain and back pain. I'm sure that this medical/physical trauma led to me developing Fibromyalgia in later life. I love my daughter and I'm so proud of her; she was the perfect baby for someone like me. She's told me she doesn't want to have kids (biologically), and she's gay anyway. I fully support her; if I was of childbearing age, I too would remain child-free.
I developed a dermoid cyst on my right ovary due to pregnancy hormones. It got so big that it twisted my Fallopian tube and stopped blood supply to my ovary. It died inside of me. A dying organ hurts like hell! I spent 5 months in pain (surgery could harm my baby) and after delivery, they removed my ovary.
My partner and I are at a point where we are actively discussing whether or not we want kids. We both agree we could be good parents, but we don't think having or not having kids would be a make or break situation for us, we would be happy either way. It feels selfish but anecdotes like this are honestly what push me more towards the no kids path; I already struggle with a back injury and other health issues, I don't know if I could or would want to put myself through a situation which potentially irreversibly make those worse. Thankfully we have also discussed the fostering/adoption route due to personal history leaving me with a concern of fertility issues so we know that would also be an option.
Hi, just want to say it is not selfish to decide what you and your other half want to with your lives!
Load More Replies...My kid is 16 years old now, and I still have to go pee almost every two hours on the dot. Used to have to eat something every two hours as well, but that's gotten better. And it I don't cross my legs when I sneeze or cough, I wet myself. They also don't tell you about the way the uterus can lean forward afterwards, giving you a permanent belly pooch. After giving birth, my left hip was stuck half an inch out of the socket. Had to go to a chiropractor to get it put back into place. Still kinda have problems with it.
I actually lost weight with my second pregnancy. I felt vaguely ill the entire time (#1 just gave me food aversions - bye, green vegetables!), so I had to grow a 9lb5.5oz infant on nothing but saltines, ginger ale, and my thighs. There was also that fun time # 3 decided to hang out sideways for a while and destroy my sciatic nerve. Went into labor with that one the night before he was due to be forcibly evicted, as he was suuuper late
As someone who has had only miscarriages and tries to live her life without obsessing over trying again, this somehow comforted me. Thank you for sharing. And kudos to you, moms! You're heros, even after delivering the baby: you go above and beyond your own comfort to keep your babies healthy and happy and feeling loved. More praise should be given to loving parents, raising a new person is a full time job.
I'm so sorry for your struggles and your losses! Much love to you and your partner!
Load More Replies...Yikes!!! I didn't know about how drastically your body changes. I only knows about the breasts changing, swelling, skin and weight gain. Never imagine bones and organs too O_O my husband and I don't want kids, we just can't afford one or have the time to raise it ourselves. It's terrifying that contraceptives could potentially being taken away and getting an abortion will get you the death penalty.
I've been seeing more and more information over the past year or so, and it honestly makes me both annoyed that it's something people aren't prepared for, and less certain about whether or not it's something I personally would actually want to go through.
Load More Replies...If women knew the whole truth about pregnancy beforehand, humans would go extinct in a single generation. And don't even mention the actual parenting that comes after.
Probably true. But very important to raise awareness to if we consider that some people want to force women trough a pregnancy and birth when they don't even want to. It's just torture then.
Load More Replies...My first pregnancy resulted in smaller feet (no idea why) and high blood pressure. My second in a prolapsed uterus (it basically fell out a couple centimetres). My third in diabetes and stress blisters on my hands and feet (which come back every time I’m stressed, fun). My fourth in split stomach muscles. All cumulative and none went away after 9 months. Yes you can live with a prolapsed uterus, it just makes life much harder, the only solution is a hysterectomy, and I’m not ready for that yet.
There is a pelvic floor surgery option for prolapsed uterus worth looking into https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/uterine-prolapse/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20353464
Load More Replies...After 4 babies my body is knackered. My first baby was 10lbs 10oz and a back to back labour which I somehow managed drug free, yet then ended up in theatre due to a retained placenta and had to have a spinal block - my back has never recovered. Because my first was so big I've been induced with the rest of my babies, the second was two weeks early and still 9lbs 5oz, he gained 13oz the first week he was born so dread to think how big he would've been if left in until natural labour started. My 3rd and 4th pregnancies were horrific, I bled constantly throughout my 3rd pregnancy and my 4th I developed a heart condition. I'm not risking a 5th so I got sterilised to be on the safe side. Still terrified of ending up pregnant. I don't think I'd survive another. I adore my babies, they're my world.
My dear fellow ladies: Sadly I'm no mother myself. But I heard of some of the conditions you describe. Being from Germany where good healthcare is available for all and especially pregnants and new moms, I just wonder which of your conditions could be prevented, cured or helped with by decent healthcare? Source: Coworker of mine suffered badly after two pregnancies (her belly-muscles kind of teared and grew back together in a queer way). She got 6 weeks of rehab with fully paid leave from work and it's really better now. Are there any possibilities you get those conditions treated propperly as well?
I was living in the Netherlands at the time of my pregnancy, the birth and first 11 years of my daughter's life. They really tried to push natural childbirth at home, because that's what most Dutch women do. I refuse point blank to do either. I'd been told by my GYOB many years previously that I would need a C-section because my pelvic opening was the wrong shape for a baby to pass through. They still insisted on inducing labour (I was 2 weeks overdue, went into labour day before I was to be induced); cranking up the oxytocin which nearly ruptured my bladder and then, after breaking my waters, settled on an emergency C-section because there was meconium present.
Load More Replies...Two babies, two 4th degree tears. Their perfect, round, newborn pumpkin heads came at a price. My youngest is 19 now and my scars still ache when I'm on my feet for too long
My wife was told that she could never have children. But God proved the doctors wrong by allowing her to give me two children. She had a heart attack during both pregnancies, went from a size 6 to size 12 clothes, feet grew 1 size larger, and because she needed an emergency c-section both times, her stomach muscles collapsed and she has a permanent flap on her tummy. Her breasts went from a 30 aa to a 34 c, her pelvic hair area increased, her hips went from 30 to 34. I am proud of her battle scars, and still find her sexy af. If a man should go through all that he will be psychologically scarred for life.
Why did you make her suffer so much? That's cruel.
Load More Replies...My right hip went out at 8 months into my pregnancy and stayed out ever since, (25 years later) so it will pop out of place at random times and my lower back lost some feeling and never regained it. Pretty sure my stomach muscles stretched too far as I was only around 65kg including bub and my daughter was a big baby, so instead of stretching over as normal they went either side. Ah the joys of being pregnant. You wanna know why us women get the shits? It’s cos our bodies get rearranged! I love my daughter dearly but I’d rather adopt a child than do it all again. I was pregnant another two times in the years after having my daughter but both times my body just could not handle being pregnant :( and the anxiety/post partum depression really sucked.
My coccyx was pushed back so it isn't as curved under as it was before my 2 kids were born. It makes sitting on non-cushioned seats very uncomfortable. I usually have to slouch my hips forward or it feels like my coccyx is going right into the seat.
My pregnancy caused such crazy hormonal changes and an autoimmune disease - was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease a few months after giving birth and have had to had numerous surgeries and procedures to have most of my colon, two sections of my small intestines, and one of my fallopian tubes removed, as well as severe nerve damage. I now have a permanent nerve stimulator, take a ridiculous amount of medication for my Crohn's, issues caused by my Crohn's, and side effects from necessary medications, including a biologic infusion every four weeks. I can no longer work because of all the damage done to my body and my mental health has suffered catastrophicly, but I wouldn't go back if I could - my son is my greatest gift. My husband and I married young and just enjoyed being young and in love, spent time building our careers, bought a house and got new, safer family-friendly vehicles, and eight years later we decided to start our family. I WANTED a child, but this sucks.
And lets not overlook that over 600 women a year die giving birth.
Welp, I kinda didn't want kids anyway, and reading these comments make me terrified of giving birth, so I guess I'll just be the fun aunt
You can't harvest someone's organs after death without their permission/them being an organ donor. Corpses have more rights than we do right now.
My second pregnancy changed my body more than my first. It triggered a thyroid disorder that had to be treated by literally killing the organ. I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. But the biggest challenge for me has been the change in my mental health. I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life, but the severe postpartum depression I had after my second pregnancy has permanently altered my brain chemistry.
I have never regretted for even a second having my 4 kids but Pregnancy is something no woman should be forced to endure. My feet went from a size 6.5 to an 8 & they are really wide too. My hips are wider, during my 2nd pregnancy I was permanently stooped over because the baby was putting pressure on a previous prolapsed disk., agony & the disc prolapsed again while I was giving birth. My ribs spread, I have never regained my normal waist & stomach. My 4th pregnancy I had total incontinence, went through a packet of maxi pads every few days. Prolific breast milk, I could half fill a small bottle with what squirted out of one breast while bub was on the other. I went through a box or breast pads every day & often used a towel wrapped around my chest to absorb the leaking milk at night while I slept. Hyperemisis with my son, spending hours on end every day vomiting until I thought I was going to turn inside out. Swollen feet.
My kids are worth any amount of discomfort or pain and I would go through both awful pregnancies all over again if it meant having exactly what I have in them. They are worth it.
So.... I had 4 c-sectios, which means that my Abdominal muscles were Severed 4 times, 4x I was not able to cuddle with my newborn, lie, sleep or even sit comfortably, my breasts went from a round D to a saggy B, parts of my belly are numb forever (but still can itch!), I have stretch marks and "wobbly tissue" all over my front and 4 Wisdom teeth — so what?! I still can pee (or not pee) whenever I want, wear a good bra/bathing suit, take care of my body (and I talk about Yoga and Pelvic gymnastics) because breastfeeding took care of the Extra weight and my partner (and myself!) did not love me for my teenage body... Might have changed but did it's biological job great and still will do for decades! Thanks, body - I love you!
I got off easy: my feet grew a size, I pee when I cough, sneeze, or lift something heavy, and on top of a 3rd degree tear one of my labia tore clean through. The doctor didn't bother to sew it up because apparently another labour would just tear it again. I didn't even know that that was possible.
My hips hurt like hell forbfew days everytime i feel just a bit cold, or walk more than few kilometers. I used to go on several days long hikes and slept in the nature. My hormones changed and i hate how my husband smells (i remember liking his scent before). My breasts are 3 sizes smaller than they used to be. I don't care i no longer have big cleavage, but i do hate how i look differently in my favorite outfits, and that nothing looks as it should on me.
Right wing idiots still won't care. Religious nutjobs want us to suffer, it turns them on.
What's so sad is that many of these conditions listed are reversible if only women were getting proper care/advice from medical professionals - not all of them, for sure - but a lot of them. But most of us lack the information, the time, the money, and oh yeah, now we're mothers trying to care for completely helpless beings all while completely physically, mentally, and emotionally wrecked from 9 months of pregnancy and hour/days of labor. But absolutely, force women who don't want a baby to go through that - totally fair. And then don't give them the support in any way, shape, or form to ever fully recover, and expect them to shoulder the weight of the world, their family, and also your political agenda.
My first kicked one of my ribs out of place, which made the back pain during my second almost unbearable. I thankfully don't have many lasting issues, other than my rib (and also my left shoulder is all messed up from holding them on that side when they were babies). Also developed an allergy to arugula. Luckily I was able to see a pelvic physiotherapist, so I don't really have issues with leaking as other women might. As long as I go to the bathroom before working out, I'm good to go. The knowledge of what could go wrong during pregnancy/birth kept me from trying for a third (well, that and climate change)- and I live in Canada where our maternal morbidity rates aren't nearly as bad as other countries
For the record, the people complaining about pregnancy being forced on them are engaging in acts that may end in pregnancy- willingly. Nobody forced them to have sex. That's called rape. Yes, pregnancy changes your body, but I fit in all my prepregnancy clothes. It isn't the worst thing in the world- in fact, motherhood is THE ONLY JOB that only women can do. Motherhood is empowering and wonderful. People complaining about not being able to have abortions- don't have sex. Abstinence will mean you never have any consequences to deal with- and remember, those 'consequences' are actually live little human beings. Those little people are not at fault for being created- that fault lies with the two who came together to create the baby.
If you don't want kids, then don't get pregnant. That'll solve the 'need' for 99% of all abortions. The other 1% is to account for rape and incest, for those ready to point that out.
I live in the UK. Due to reproductive issues I thought pregnancy would never happen, when it did I had horrendous abdominal and pelvic pain for a couple weeks. All was normal just implantation pain, not okay. Then at 5 weeks the hyperemises started and I couldn't stop being sick to take meds that would stop me being sick, couldn't eat or drink very much. Ended up in hospital half dead and delusional with dehydration a couple days before termination. At hospital they took bloods that showed I had pre diabetes, how in the hell it happened when I could barely eat? Anyways after termination I had a terrible infection due to incomplete abortion (docs barely explained how awful it would be tbh) refused to go hospital and got hold of antibiotics from family. Now I'm obese and suffering with severe pelvic pain. I got treatment for retained tissue BTW and I'm confused about the current pelvic pain.
My kid is 26 and now for more than half my life I am allergic to cillins, sulphas, micins, zithromax, and a whole other raft of stuff that isn't an antibiotic.
Kudos to all the mamas! We're a strong bunch. My pregnancy party favors: **Appendicitis & appendectomy at 4.5 months. **Post-operative pneumonia, pleurisy & pre-term labor caused by surgery. **E-coli infection from sugery catheter **Bronchitis **Baby rolled against my spine, causing leg to go numb/weak **Total bedrest due to all the above, until 2 wks before due date. **More time spent in hospital than at home due to all the above. **Placed on home monitor system & medication infusion system (to prevent labor) that I had to move every 3 days, meaning I had to stick myself w/a needle every 3 days. **Injections to mature baby's lungs faster. **Time for delivery: baby born w/cord around neck, not breathing, required life support for 24 hrs to breathe on his own reliably. **3 days postpartum, my uterus prolapsed (tried to come out) as well as rectal/vaginal walls collapsed behind it. 3 surgeries to fix, including hysterectomy. I was 27 at his birth, had surgeries at 30.
So I guess you could say that yes, pregnancy changed my body - permanently.
Load More Replies...This makes me value my mom more. It is way more painful and made me realize as a child I did not believe things I have seen in her before like immune deficiencies or thyroid problems! All to give birth to her children. I would like that everyone learn this during their scholar time. I was taught I should romanticize pregnancies as if it was something easy! It is not and needs the awareness too!
If Karen doesn't like the changes slap your legs together and don't have a kid. You have a choice in not getting knocked up
Because rape doesn't happen, and birth control never fails, right?
Load More Replies...If it were that easy, don't you think we would have figured it out?
Load More Replies...Well, someone would suffer regardless. Also, surrogacy is often used to exploit poor people (why it's illegal/not allowed in many countries). To adopt or simply choose to not have kids at all are better options.
Load More Replies...Tell that to the women that can't take or access contraception. Or has had contraception fail. Tell that to the child that's been abused by a member of her family or the woman that's been raped ... Tell it to the rapist - I'm sure they'll listen to you when you demand they wear a condom ... But you know, reality is a b***h and s**t happens. You don't know someone's circumstances so you have no right to judge. No one has an abortion unless absolutely necessary but then with a little compassion you'd understand that.
Load More Replies...I feel sorry for you if you only view sex for procreation and nothing more. Must be a sad, boring existence. There's no excuse for your ignorance. How about you think before you open your mouth?
Load More Replies...So these women should be grateful that their body has drastically changed shape in uncomfortable ways? That their spines are disintegrating? That they could lose the ability to move? Please respond asap so we can have a discussion about this because I wanna hear your thoughts and opinions.
Load More Replies...My rib cage is wider along w my hips. My hormones totally changed to the point that sex made me so sick to my stomach bc the thought of body fluids disgusted me for years. Terrible anxiety for years. Was never myself again. The new me wasn't as happy as the old me bc now I understood how debilitating anxiety was going to be the rest of my life. Never got the feeling back in my abdomen after my c section. Developed vascular problems in my legs. Didn't have another child bc of the hormone imbalance together w the horrible anxiety later developed depression bc I couldn't relieve the anxiety at all. My best friends uterus would fall out of her body after her second one. Her third pregnancy was an empty egg wo a life saving D & C her uterus would've ruptured. She would've have died wo that abortion. Rape is less criminal than an abortion now telling women that a rapist now has more rights to a woman's body if she gets pregnant
F**CK THAT! The first time I heard about that happening, I was outraged BEYOND belief!! A rapist should never be allowed to prevent his victim from receiving an abortion!! Another stupid law that, mainly men, will probably pass!! God, what has our world come to???? :(
Load More Replies...Thank you to all you women for sharing the truth, I don't want to bring another soul into this world, I already suffer from autoimmune disorders. I'm 34 with16 years of hashimotos and ovarian cysts. Surgeries, fatigue, pain and medication is my lifestyle. As much as I would love my baby I think I will just choose to love myself more. I will adopt and give an already present human being a good life.
I give every mother props for wanting to have a baby. Nothing I've ever heard about pregnancy sounds pleasant.
There are some amazing times during it but it does take its toll on your body, my back has never been the same since. Keep getting sciatica
Load More Replies...I had an easy pregnancy. I "only" ended up with diastasis recti (a separation of my abdominal muscles) and a rare complication involving my retina, which mostly went away after I gave birth, but the vision in that eye is still a bit blurry and distorted (and not correctable with glasses). Oh, and I tore quite badly during birth. I love my daughter and she was worth it, but anyone who wants to force someone to go through this should be forced into something like this themselves.
I had the best pregnancy I literally felt like I had superpowers I felt amazing. It was after I had her that almost destroyed my mental health bc of hormone imbalance and terrifying non ending anxiety. Life saving D & Cs are for physical and mental womens healthcare. They are saying pregnancy is a punishment for having sex like consent to sex is consent to pregnancy. We're not forced to give our kidneys to a dying child but they're forcing us to give all of our organs and brain over to an entity that might kill us whether we chose to get pregnant or not. Politicians are now given the rights to womens bodies more than doctors are. If this was about killing babies why are they criminalizing birth control. The Catholic Church says babies aren't human until their first breath when they're being sued. This is all so horrific. So many women and little girls are going to die painful preventable deaths
Load More Replies...We are allowing the church to have a say in government which is the problem here. Hate to point out the obvious but that reason to justify reversing roe vs wade should be illegal. Church has no place is government.
I think it's really great that people are honest about this! I have three kids and lost the weight pretty quickly after each pregnancy but my hips are wider, I have stretch marks, some loose skin and pretty saggy boobs (not from breastfeeding though, that is a myth but pregnancy hormones are brutal). Also, what no one told me; that it's considered normal that your vagina (and nerve endings) can take a year to recover and shift back after a vaginal birth (if they do) so sex could be really boring or painful during that time. When I was 6months pp after my second child I was afraid that something was wrong with me when sex wasn't enjoyable AT ALL so I booked an appointment and learned this. No one told me that, only the 6week mark but that's apparently only for the sake of infection, not that it's recovered by then. So many pregnancy related issues are considered normal and something you just have to live with. And maybe that's fine if it is YOUR choice to take that risk.
My feet grew almost two sizes when I was pregnant and they haven't changed. I also have hip deformities which were reasonably in a stable position but my second pregnancy f****d them up. I ended up lopsided coz one side of my hip sat higher than the other side, I also ended up with bursitis and a torn ligament in my right hip. Now I have constant hip problems. My weight certainly doesnt help though.
Oh wow, that really sucks. This thread is making me not want to have children even more. I feel sorry for you having to go through all this pain.
Load More Replies...I know someone who always wanted to have kids. And kids take an immediate liking to her(same with adults,she is extremely nice and a genuine person overall).Last year she got pregnant and all of us were thrilled for her. She was told around 10 days before her due date that she is going to have a stillborn.I don't know what reasons but her stillborn was taken out from her on due date. She had 9 months of pregnancy to not have a baby. She had more than 6 months of leave and everyone knew she was on maternity leave and she does not have a baby. She endured for 9 months but I can't imagine the last few days when she knew she won't have a live birth. I know it's mostly safe nowadays. But there are many ways it could change you and not always for the better .
I had a coworker who's 9-month pregnancy ended the day she was supposed to start her maternity leave. The baby's umbilical cord bacame wrapped around his neck. It was absolutely heartbreaking. I would not wish that loss on anyone!
Load More Replies...This made me think about all the mothers I know (and I know a lot) and how they seem "normal" to me. Even just for a statistic matter, at least some of them might suffer from pain or health problems related to their pregnancy and they just don't show it. Therefore I'm thinking about how little we know about people, how sometimes they live their life, they work, they have a social life and all and at the same time they suffer, they feel pain, etc. We really don't know what it's going on with the fellow man, they might seem alright but they're not. So we really really should think twice before we speak. That's my naive two cents.
Not naive. Just true. I love the quote at my 'pain management' doctors' office: be kind, for you don't know what battle the other person may be fighting'. No matter the gender or problem, you're right in that we don't know people and what they are going through. In the usa, there seems to be a stigma against taking about illness, mental or otherwise. This Puritanical notion of 'suck it up and deal with it'. It's complete s**t.
Load More Replies...Thank you for sharing the stories about the damage pregnancy does to a body even if it "goes well". You never get it back. "No big deal" or "peopel did it for hundreds of thousands of years". Yes, and until very recently in human history, thel eading cause of death in adult women was.... childbirth.
I actually read somewhere that when it comes to childbirth, women’s pelvises have not evolved accordingly and that’s why a lot suffer with pregnancy and childbirth. They said that animals have evolved a lot more and are better suited for birth.
Load More Replies...My pregnancy was relatively easy but the birth was horrendous. My pelvis was the wrong shape for natural childbirth but they insisted that I had to try it - I was in the Netherlands and there were insisting on a home birth which I vetoed. I dilated to 6cm and no further; they pumped me full of oxitocin to force contractions, nearly ruptured my bladder (never recovered) I had contractions for 24 hours before they decided to break the amniotic sac - fluid full of meconium so quick epidural and emergency C-section. I nearly died from haemorrhaging. I also have diastasis recti (hole I can put my fist through). I have pelvic instability which means the ligaments in my sacrum are loose and my pelvis twist from side to side causing hip pain, knee pain and back pain. I'm sure that this medical/physical trauma led to me developing Fibromyalgia in later life. I love my daughter and I'm so proud of her; she was the perfect baby for someone like me. She's told me she doesn't want to have kids (biologically), and she's gay anyway. I fully support her; if I was of childbearing age, I too would remain child-free.
I developed a dermoid cyst on my right ovary due to pregnancy hormones. It got so big that it twisted my Fallopian tube and stopped blood supply to my ovary. It died inside of me. A dying organ hurts like hell! I spent 5 months in pain (surgery could harm my baby) and after delivery, they removed my ovary.
My partner and I are at a point where we are actively discussing whether or not we want kids. We both agree we could be good parents, but we don't think having or not having kids would be a make or break situation for us, we would be happy either way. It feels selfish but anecdotes like this are honestly what push me more towards the no kids path; I already struggle with a back injury and other health issues, I don't know if I could or would want to put myself through a situation which potentially irreversibly make those worse. Thankfully we have also discussed the fostering/adoption route due to personal history leaving me with a concern of fertility issues so we know that would also be an option.
Hi, just want to say it is not selfish to decide what you and your other half want to with your lives!
Load More Replies...My kid is 16 years old now, and I still have to go pee almost every two hours on the dot. Used to have to eat something every two hours as well, but that's gotten better. And it I don't cross my legs when I sneeze or cough, I wet myself. They also don't tell you about the way the uterus can lean forward afterwards, giving you a permanent belly pooch. After giving birth, my left hip was stuck half an inch out of the socket. Had to go to a chiropractor to get it put back into place. Still kinda have problems with it.
I actually lost weight with my second pregnancy. I felt vaguely ill the entire time (#1 just gave me food aversions - bye, green vegetables!), so I had to grow a 9lb5.5oz infant on nothing but saltines, ginger ale, and my thighs. There was also that fun time # 3 decided to hang out sideways for a while and destroy my sciatic nerve. Went into labor with that one the night before he was due to be forcibly evicted, as he was suuuper late
As someone who has had only miscarriages and tries to live her life without obsessing over trying again, this somehow comforted me. Thank you for sharing. And kudos to you, moms! You're heros, even after delivering the baby: you go above and beyond your own comfort to keep your babies healthy and happy and feeling loved. More praise should be given to loving parents, raising a new person is a full time job.
I'm so sorry for your struggles and your losses! Much love to you and your partner!
Load More Replies...Yikes!!! I didn't know about how drastically your body changes. I only knows about the breasts changing, swelling, skin and weight gain. Never imagine bones and organs too O_O my husband and I don't want kids, we just can't afford one or have the time to raise it ourselves. It's terrifying that contraceptives could potentially being taken away and getting an abortion will get you the death penalty.
I've been seeing more and more information over the past year or so, and it honestly makes me both annoyed that it's something people aren't prepared for, and less certain about whether or not it's something I personally would actually want to go through.
Load More Replies...If women knew the whole truth about pregnancy beforehand, humans would go extinct in a single generation. And don't even mention the actual parenting that comes after.
Probably true. But very important to raise awareness to if we consider that some people want to force women trough a pregnancy and birth when they don't even want to. It's just torture then.
Load More Replies...My first pregnancy resulted in smaller feet (no idea why) and high blood pressure. My second in a prolapsed uterus (it basically fell out a couple centimetres). My third in diabetes and stress blisters on my hands and feet (which come back every time I’m stressed, fun). My fourth in split stomach muscles. All cumulative and none went away after 9 months. Yes you can live with a prolapsed uterus, it just makes life much harder, the only solution is a hysterectomy, and I’m not ready for that yet.
There is a pelvic floor surgery option for prolapsed uterus worth looking into https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/uterine-prolapse/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20353464
Load More Replies...After 4 babies my body is knackered. My first baby was 10lbs 10oz and a back to back labour which I somehow managed drug free, yet then ended up in theatre due to a retained placenta and had to have a spinal block - my back has never recovered. Because my first was so big I've been induced with the rest of my babies, the second was two weeks early and still 9lbs 5oz, he gained 13oz the first week he was born so dread to think how big he would've been if left in until natural labour started. My 3rd and 4th pregnancies were horrific, I bled constantly throughout my 3rd pregnancy and my 4th I developed a heart condition. I'm not risking a 5th so I got sterilised to be on the safe side. Still terrified of ending up pregnant. I don't think I'd survive another. I adore my babies, they're my world.
My dear fellow ladies: Sadly I'm no mother myself. But I heard of some of the conditions you describe. Being from Germany where good healthcare is available for all and especially pregnants and new moms, I just wonder which of your conditions could be prevented, cured or helped with by decent healthcare? Source: Coworker of mine suffered badly after two pregnancies (her belly-muscles kind of teared and grew back together in a queer way). She got 6 weeks of rehab with fully paid leave from work and it's really better now. Are there any possibilities you get those conditions treated propperly as well?
I was living in the Netherlands at the time of my pregnancy, the birth and first 11 years of my daughter's life. They really tried to push natural childbirth at home, because that's what most Dutch women do. I refuse point blank to do either. I'd been told by my GYOB many years previously that I would need a C-section because my pelvic opening was the wrong shape for a baby to pass through. They still insisted on inducing labour (I was 2 weeks overdue, went into labour day before I was to be induced); cranking up the oxytocin which nearly ruptured my bladder and then, after breaking my waters, settled on an emergency C-section because there was meconium present.
Load More Replies...Two babies, two 4th degree tears. Their perfect, round, newborn pumpkin heads came at a price. My youngest is 19 now and my scars still ache when I'm on my feet for too long
My wife was told that she could never have children. But God proved the doctors wrong by allowing her to give me two children. She had a heart attack during both pregnancies, went from a size 6 to size 12 clothes, feet grew 1 size larger, and because she needed an emergency c-section both times, her stomach muscles collapsed and she has a permanent flap on her tummy. Her breasts went from a 30 aa to a 34 c, her pelvic hair area increased, her hips went from 30 to 34. I am proud of her battle scars, and still find her sexy af. If a man should go through all that he will be psychologically scarred for life.
Why did you make her suffer so much? That's cruel.
Load More Replies...My right hip went out at 8 months into my pregnancy and stayed out ever since, (25 years later) so it will pop out of place at random times and my lower back lost some feeling and never regained it. Pretty sure my stomach muscles stretched too far as I was only around 65kg including bub and my daughter was a big baby, so instead of stretching over as normal they went either side. Ah the joys of being pregnant. You wanna know why us women get the shits? It’s cos our bodies get rearranged! I love my daughter dearly but I’d rather adopt a child than do it all again. I was pregnant another two times in the years after having my daughter but both times my body just could not handle being pregnant :( and the anxiety/post partum depression really sucked.
My coccyx was pushed back so it isn't as curved under as it was before my 2 kids were born. It makes sitting on non-cushioned seats very uncomfortable. I usually have to slouch my hips forward or it feels like my coccyx is going right into the seat.
My pregnancy caused such crazy hormonal changes and an autoimmune disease - was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease a few months after giving birth and have had to had numerous surgeries and procedures to have most of my colon, two sections of my small intestines, and one of my fallopian tubes removed, as well as severe nerve damage. I now have a permanent nerve stimulator, take a ridiculous amount of medication for my Crohn's, issues caused by my Crohn's, and side effects from necessary medications, including a biologic infusion every four weeks. I can no longer work because of all the damage done to my body and my mental health has suffered catastrophicly, but I wouldn't go back if I could - my son is my greatest gift. My husband and I married young and just enjoyed being young and in love, spent time building our careers, bought a house and got new, safer family-friendly vehicles, and eight years later we decided to start our family. I WANTED a child, but this sucks.
And lets not overlook that over 600 women a year die giving birth.
Welp, I kinda didn't want kids anyway, and reading these comments make me terrified of giving birth, so I guess I'll just be the fun aunt
You can't harvest someone's organs after death without their permission/them being an organ donor. Corpses have more rights than we do right now.
My second pregnancy changed my body more than my first. It triggered a thyroid disorder that had to be treated by literally killing the organ. I'll be on medication for the rest of my life. But the biggest challenge for me has been the change in my mental health. I've struggled with depression and anxiety most of my life, but the severe postpartum depression I had after my second pregnancy has permanently altered my brain chemistry.
I have never regretted for even a second having my 4 kids but Pregnancy is something no woman should be forced to endure. My feet went from a size 6.5 to an 8 & they are really wide too. My hips are wider, during my 2nd pregnancy I was permanently stooped over because the baby was putting pressure on a previous prolapsed disk., agony & the disc prolapsed again while I was giving birth. My ribs spread, I have never regained my normal waist & stomach. My 4th pregnancy I had total incontinence, went through a packet of maxi pads every few days. Prolific breast milk, I could half fill a small bottle with what squirted out of one breast while bub was on the other. I went through a box or breast pads every day & often used a towel wrapped around my chest to absorb the leaking milk at night while I slept. Hyperemisis with my son, spending hours on end every day vomiting until I thought I was going to turn inside out. Swollen feet.
My kids are worth any amount of discomfort or pain and I would go through both awful pregnancies all over again if it meant having exactly what I have in them. They are worth it.
So.... I had 4 c-sectios, which means that my Abdominal muscles were Severed 4 times, 4x I was not able to cuddle with my newborn, lie, sleep or even sit comfortably, my breasts went from a round D to a saggy B, parts of my belly are numb forever (but still can itch!), I have stretch marks and "wobbly tissue" all over my front and 4 Wisdom teeth — so what?! I still can pee (or not pee) whenever I want, wear a good bra/bathing suit, take care of my body (and I talk about Yoga and Pelvic gymnastics) because breastfeeding took care of the Extra weight and my partner (and myself!) did not love me for my teenage body... Might have changed but did it's biological job great and still will do for decades! Thanks, body - I love you!
I got off easy: my feet grew a size, I pee when I cough, sneeze, or lift something heavy, and on top of a 3rd degree tear one of my labia tore clean through. The doctor didn't bother to sew it up because apparently another labour would just tear it again. I didn't even know that that was possible.
My hips hurt like hell forbfew days everytime i feel just a bit cold, or walk more than few kilometers. I used to go on several days long hikes and slept in the nature. My hormones changed and i hate how my husband smells (i remember liking his scent before). My breasts are 3 sizes smaller than they used to be. I don't care i no longer have big cleavage, but i do hate how i look differently in my favorite outfits, and that nothing looks as it should on me.
Right wing idiots still won't care. Religious nutjobs want us to suffer, it turns them on.
What's so sad is that many of these conditions listed are reversible if only women were getting proper care/advice from medical professionals - not all of them, for sure - but a lot of them. But most of us lack the information, the time, the money, and oh yeah, now we're mothers trying to care for completely helpless beings all while completely physically, mentally, and emotionally wrecked from 9 months of pregnancy and hour/days of labor. But absolutely, force women who don't want a baby to go through that - totally fair. And then don't give them the support in any way, shape, or form to ever fully recover, and expect them to shoulder the weight of the world, their family, and also your political agenda.
My first kicked one of my ribs out of place, which made the back pain during my second almost unbearable. I thankfully don't have many lasting issues, other than my rib (and also my left shoulder is all messed up from holding them on that side when they were babies). Also developed an allergy to arugula. Luckily I was able to see a pelvic physiotherapist, so I don't really have issues with leaking as other women might. As long as I go to the bathroom before working out, I'm good to go. The knowledge of what could go wrong during pregnancy/birth kept me from trying for a third (well, that and climate change)- and I live in Canada where our maternal morbidity rates aren't nearly as bad as other countries
For the record, the people complaining about pregnancy being forced on them are engaging in acts that may end in pregnancy- willingly. Nobody forced them to have sex. That's called rape. Yes, pregnancy changes your body, but I fit in all my prepregnancy clothes. It isn't the worst thing in the world- in fact, motherhood is THE ONLY JOB that only women can do. Motherhood is empowering and wonderful. People complaining about not being able to have abortions- don't have sex. Abstinence will mean you never have any consequences to deal with- and remember, those 'consequences' are actually live little human beings. Those little people are not at fault for being created- that fault lies with the two who came together to create the baby.
If you don't want kids, then don't get pregnant. That'll solve the 'need' for 99% of all abortions. The other 1% is to account for rape and incest, for those ready to point that out.
I live in the UK. Due to reproductive issues I thought pregnancy would never happen, when it did I had horrendous abdominal and pelvic pain for a couple weeks. All was normal just implantation pain, not okay. Then at 5 weeks the hyperemises started and I couldn't stop being sick to take meds that would stop me being sick, couldn't eat or drink very much. Ended up in hospital half dead and delusional with dehydration a couple days before termination. At hospital they took bloods that showed I had pre diabetes, how in the hell it happened when I could barely eat? Anyways after termination I had a terrible infection due to incomplete abortion (docs barely explained how awful it would be tbh) refused to go hospital and got hold of antibiotics from family. Now I'm obese and suffering with severe pelvic pain. I got treatment for retained tissue BTW and I'm confused about the current pelvic pain.
My kid is 26 and now for more than half my life I am allergic to cillins, sulphas, micins, zithromax, and a whole other raft of stuff that isn't an antibiotic.
Kudos to all the mamas! We're a strong bunch. My pregnancy party favors: **Appendicitis & appendectomy at 4.5 months. **Post-operative pneumonia, pleurisy & pre-term labor caused by surgery. **E-coli infection from sugery catheter **Bronchitis **Baby rolled against my spine, causing leg to go numb/weak **Total bedrest due to all the above, until 2 wks before due date. **More time spent in hospital than at home due to all the above. **Placed on home monitor system & medication infusion system (to prevent labor) that I had to move every 3 days, meaning I had to stick myself w/a needle every 3 days. **Injections to mature baby's lungs faster. **Time for delivery: baby born w/cord around neck, not breathing, required life support for 24 hrs to breathe on his own reliably. **3 days postpartum, my uterus prolapsed (tried to come out) as well as rectal/vaginal walls collapsed behind it. 3 surgeries to fix, including hysterectomy. I was 27 at his birth, had surgeries at 30.
So I guess you could say that yes, pregnancy changed my body - permanently.
Load More Replies...This makes me value my mom more. It is way more painful and made me realize as a child I did not believe things I have seen in her before like immune deficiencies or thyroid problems! All to give birth to her children. I would like that everyone learn this during their scholar time. I was taught I should romanticize pregnancies as if it was something easy! It is not and needs the awareness too!
If Karen doesn't like the changes slap your legs together and don't have a kid. You have a choice in not getting knocked up
Because rape doesn't happen, and birth control never fails, right?
Load More Replies...If it were that easy, don't you think we would have figured it out?
Load More Replies...Well, someone would suffer regardless. Also, surrogacy is often used to exploit poor people (why it's illegal/not allowed in many countries). To adopt or simply choose to not have kids at all are better options.
Load More Replies...Tell that to the women that can't take or access contraception. Or has had contraception fail. Tell that to the child that's been abused by a member of her family or the woman that's been raped ... Tell it to the rapist - I'm sure they'll listen to you when you demand they wear a condom ... But you know, reality is a b***h and s**t happens. You don't know someone's circumstances so you have no right to judge. No one has an abortion unless absolutely necessary but then with a little compassion you'd understand that.
Load More Replies...I feel sorry for you if you only view sex for procreation and nothing more. Must be a sad, boring existence. There's no excuse for your ignorance. How about you think before you open your mouth?
Load More Replies...So these women should be grateful that their body has drastically changed shape in uncomfortable ways? That their spines are disintegrating? That they could lose the ability to move? Please respond asap so we can have a discussion about this because I wanna hear your thoughts and opinions.
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