Woman Stands Up To Half-Siblings Who Don’t Want Her Baby’s Name To Stand Out Among Theirs
The ancients believed that the name a person receives at birth influences their life and becomes a kind of sacred sign, connecting them with their ancestors, clan and the surrounding nature. Today we take it way simpler when naming kids, but this doesn’t mean that naming dramas have disappeared.
Quite the opposite – and here is another confirmation of this. The story from the user u/Any-Bit2864 has racked up nearly 5.3K upvotes in a few months, and over 1.5K various comments. The story is about how relatives tried to influence the name of an unborn child, and how the mom tried to defend her and her husband’s choice.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post lost her mom at the age of 5 and then her dad remarried another woman
Image credits: Brett Sayles (not the actual photo)
The mom gave the author the first name Acacia and the dad added the second name Claire
Image credits: u/Any-Bit2864
The stepmom tried several times to ‘rename’ the girl with her second name, but to no avail
Image credits: CHUTTERSNAP (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Any-Bit2864
Recently the author got pregnant and the spouses decided to give their baby a ‘nature’ name too
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Any-Bit2864
However, the stepmom tried to push various ‘classic’ names and even called the mom-to-be ‘rude’ for dismissing her ideas
The heroes of our story today are the Original Poster (OP) and her husband, both 25 years old, who are about to have their first child. And, of course, on the eve of this significant event, the author’s relatives began to try to guess what name the baby would receive.
As for the name, the OP has her own history, and it’s actually a long one. The thing is that her mother herself bore a not very common name, in a ‘nature’ style, and gave a similar name to her daughter. Meanwhile, her dad chose the girl’s middle name – so our heroine’s name is Acacia Claire.
When the girl was 5 years old, her mom, alas, passed away and her father soon remarried another woman, let’s call her ‘Jane.’ And their next children had quite common names. However, Jane tried to ‘rename’ the original poster too, suggesting that she be called simply Claire. But the girl was adamant, considering the name Acacia to be a kind of connection with her late mom.
And so, years later, Acacia married a guy who, by the way, also has a ‘nature’ name – and much rarer than his wife’s – and the couple decided to give their baby something in the same style. However, the less time remained before the birth, the more actively Jane and the author’s stepsiblings tried to find out the baby’s name – and they themselves suggested different ‘darling’ names, which, in their opinion, would blend perfectly with other family names.
But mom-to-be didn’t give up – and only said that it was her and her spouse’s business what name their child would have. The stepmom, however, said that the OP is ‘callously’ dismissing her ideas – and that it wouldn’t be easy for the kid to live with an unusual name in the future. Acacia claims, however, that in 25 years of her life she has never encountered any problems over her unusual name.
Image credits: Mark Timberlake (not the actual photo)
Well, relatives – even if they are the closest ones – very often come up with various ideas about children’s names, and then are sincerely offended when no one obeys these ideas. For example, my own eldest daughter’s name is Eva – and when I told my family about this idea, my grandma was horrified, saying that my daughter would definitely be bullied – simply because the wife of a certain and very notorious German also had that name!
Now Eva is ten, she loves her name… and needless to say, she has never experienced bullying for this specific reason in her life. Perhaps children today are less erudite than my late grandma – or maybe the old lady was just a tad bit entitled… As, indeed, were the relatives of the original poster.
Yes, people in the comments subjected the author’s stepmom to massive criticism, claiming that it was absolutely none of her business what a mom would name her baby. “Ah another stepmom trying to assert her dominance over a childs dead mother. That is exactly what this is,” one of the commenters wrote. “Be prepared for them to refuse to call your child by their name and to put them on a time out until they do,” another one added.
As for advice to the expectant mother on what to do next, the opinions of commenters are also almost unanimous – to stand her ground. Period. “Frankly, I would name the kid after your mother after all this harassment. Both first and middle name,” one person supposed. “I think you need to cut WAY back on contact with them,” another one claimed. “The fact that they sincerely believe that they have the right to dictate to you what your child’s name should be feels creepy.”
By the way, as for attempts to name a child not the name given at birth, but the name that relatives like best, this actually happens quite often. We have at least two examples of such situations: this one abount grandparents trying to ‘rename’ the teen and this one – about the rude sister attempting to push new mom rename her newborn daughter. So please feel free to read these tales as well and maybe add your own point of view on this particular case in the comments as well.
People in the comments, meanwhile, sided with the author massively, urging her to not give up and stand her ground
It is SO weird for people who are not the parents to expect some say in the naming of a baby. I mean, you can judge all you want (quietly!) but it is none of your business. Get a pet if you have a name left over.
That makes me sad. I like suggesting names. I don't harass anyone about it, but I'll make a few suggestions - in whatever theme they've stated they prefer. I mean, how many baby name books can you really read without curling up in a corner crying and mumbling Ayden, Brayden, Cayden, Graydon, Paydon?
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The one connection she has to her mum and her dad wants to erase that. OP is going to miss her mum even more once baby is earthside, her father is behaving like an oversized toddler and should be showing his unconditional love and support. They also shouldn't be stressing OP out while she is pregnant.
" once baby is earthside" Thank you for this. Makes it sound like this baby is beaming down from a spaceship after some wicked adventures.
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This is perverse.. demanding to "have a say" in how someone names their kid. And the whole "fits in with us" is super culty and creepy.
Makes me think of the movie Freaks, and the Ramones song Pinhead that was inspired by it
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How many more of these are we going to see? I think it's pretty unanimous that parents get to name their child, no-one else. Let's give these a rest please.
I genuinely do not understand why some people think they have the right to make demands about the names of someone else’s kids. Make suggestions? Sure, if done politely and appropriately. Recommend against a potentially troublesome name? Fine. But when the person says no, your input has ended.
'What message I'm sending to others', aka "I still remember and love my bio mom." That's what's getting Jane riled up. What is it with step parents wanting their stepkids to pretend their original parent never existed?
Nature names? Imagine if they had conceived 3 children on the 21st night of september... 🌍💨🔥 😆 earth-wind...member.gif 
I would've told everyone making a BFD about MY choice for MY baby's name: "YOU are not having this baby, I AM - and my husband + I will choose the name." If you want to be somewhat nicer, you could say, "We've listened to your suggestions and are discussing them" even if you haven't done so. :)
Your second suggestion reminds me of when I finally learned to stop explaining my choices. "Thank you" and a variation of your suggestion ("That's a great idea!"). People feel validated and I get a perverse pleasure out of lying to them.
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NTA. OP should tell the meddlers, "Bring up the subject of our baby's name again, and see how fast and efficiently I go NC with the lot of you. And yes, that includes not ever meeting our little dividend. Any takers?" What happens next is entirely up to them.
Why would you want your child to “just blend in”? I would want mine to standout, stand up and be noticed.
She should mess with them and agree. Announce at the shower the baby will be Ehleezabeath-Ahyn or Rychyard-Jaymyens. Names that fit in. Then change them after birth because she agreed the names were Tradghedies and doesn’t want them to stick out.
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Your husband and your child are your family. Your child's name will go perfectly with yours. Tell them you promise to wear matching T shirts if you all end up at Disney.
OP needs to cut these people out of her life. They would probably start calling the baby by the name they want, not what the child was actually named by her/his parents. Her father is the only one she shares any blood with, and he’s made it clear that he is not on her side, in this or,apparently, anything else. NC is the way to go.
Should start calling THEM unusual names(nature or not, maybe make up something, even, like in sci fi for example) and keep changing in that theme, or mix it up. Anyone opposing, fight me!
OP has an AWESOME name, as her mom does(whatever it is) and any her child has!
My dad insisted on giving me his first name, which I almost never use, and when I got married he tried to get my in-laws on his side. I divorced before he died, and ended a chain that went back at least four generations, but as far as I can tell, was meant to honor prolly who didn't do anything to earn it. It's never occurred to me to offer unsolicited advice on baby names; no matter whose baby, it's none of my damn business. I wouldn't want to give a baby a name that'll invite bullying or make them unhireable, but nor would I give a baby a name just to fit in
Discussing/brainstorming names with family is really fun and should not at all be about pressuring. It's also a really good way to make sure it's not a name that will get mispronounced too much, has unfortunate nicknames and that it will grow them. That said, it is always up to the parents
Dear OP maybe this is moot by now (IE You've had your child and named her what you chose to) but FTW your not the AH here, You and your partner created this child together, your step mom and dad have voiced there opinions you told your not interested in there opinions and the you/your partner want to name YOUR child something unique and dealing with nature so dad and step mom need to BUT OUT and accept YOUR choice for the child's name. IMO Dad & Step mom seem to have never truly accepted YOU for your self they want you to be someone different obviously you an adult now and not a 5 year old child they bed to start treating as said adult and stop pushing there ideas on you May you and your partner have a truly wonderful time together and with your your child(ren)
when i was pregnant with my first, before we knew the gender, my bio mom was insistent on me naming the kid either after my grandpa if it was a boy or the female version of my brothers name if it was a girl (think if he was named Robert she wanted the name to be roberta) nothing wrong with those names, however they were never up for consideration as they didnt sound good with husbands last name. she told me i had to name my baby after them, because thats the only way the baby would be successful. she firmly believed that naming my kid after a person would infuse that kid with that persons soul or something and make them their carbon copy. this was not a cultural thing. she was a middle aged caucasian american woman with no other cultural background to speak of. i honestly think she thought my kid would reincarnate as my grandpa or something even though she had never believed in it before. we did not name my kid after any family
NTA. THEY are callously dismissing YOUR feelings. YOUR family has nature names, and your child will fit in perfectly.
Fighting because of a name is too stupid and a waste of time. I do wish that OP would have just heard the names that her stepmother gave her and then tell them that they would decideon the name in private and after the baby is born everyone would know the name, also, shut them up every time they brought it up.
Your dad and Jane named their children, you get to name yours.
Don't call it a "suggestion" if you meant it as more than that.
I read that as George Formby (UK actor/singer during the '30s and '40s btw) and wondered what on earth he had to do with it! Sorry!
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I have no problem telling my friends that their baby name choices (pre-birth) are weird or may have potential issues. But it’s 100% their choice and when little Twig or Bamboo make their entrance into the world I use their name. And guess what, it usually fits their personality pretty well. If the kid ends up hating it, it’s their choice to change it, not anyone else’s.
Big Ole difference between saying "thats a weird name" and "your name cant reflect your mom, you need to 'blend' in with us."
Load More Replies... It is SO weird for people who are not the parents to expect some say in the naming of a baby. I mean, you can judge all you want (quietly!) but it is none of your business. Get a pet if you have a name left over.
That makes me sad. I like suggesting names. I don't harass anyone about it, but I'll make a few suggestions - in whatever theme they've stated they prefer. I mean, how many baby name books can you really read without curling up in a corner crying and mumbling Ayden, Brayden, Cayden, Graydon, Paydon?
Load More Replies... The one connection she has to her mum and her dad wants to erase that. OP is going to miss her mum even more once baby is earthside, her father is behaving like an oversized toddler and should be showing his unconditional love and support. They also shouldn't be stressing OP out while she is pregnant.
" once baby is earthside" Thank you for this. Makes it sound like this baby is beaming down from a spaceship after some wicked adventures.
Load More Replies... This is perverse.. demanding to "have a say" in how someone names their kid. And the whole "fits in with us" is super culty and creepy.
Makes me think of the movie Freaks, and the Ramones song Pinhead that was inspired by it
Load More Replies... How many more of these are we going to see? I think it's pretty unanimous that parents get to name their child, no-one else. Let's give these a rest please.
I genuinely do not understand why some people think they have the right to make demands about the names of someone else’s kids. Make suggestions? Sure, if done politely and appropriately. Recommend against a potentially troublesome name? Fine. But when the person says no, your input has ended.
'What message I'm sending to others', aka "I still remember and love my bio mom." That's what's getting Jane riled up. What is it with step parents wanting their stepkids to pretend their original parent never existed?
Nature names? Imagine if they had conceived 3 children on the 21st night of september... 🌍💨🔥 😆 earth-wind...member.gif
I would've told everyone making a BFD about MY choice for MY baby's name: "YOU are not having this baby, I AM - and my husband + I will choose the name." If you want to be somewhat nicer, you could say, "We've listened to your suggestions and are discussing them" even if you haven't done so. :)
Your second suggestion reminds me of when I finally learned to stop explaining my choices. "Thank you" and a variation of your suggestion ("That's a great idea!"). People feel validated and I get a perverse pleasure out of lying to them.
Load More Replies... NTA. OP should tell the meddlers, "Bring up the subject of our baby's name again, and see how fast and efficiently I go NC with the lot of you. And yes, that includes not ever meeting our little dividend. Any takers?" What happens next is entirely up to them.
Why would you want your child to “just blend in”? I would want mine to standout, stand up and be noticed.
She should mess with them and agree. Announce at the shower the baby will be Ehleezabeath-Ahyn or Rychyard-Jaymyens. Names that fit in. Then change them after birth because she agreed the names were Tradghedies and doesn’t want them to stick out.
Load More Replies... Your husband and your child are your family. Your child's name will go perfectly with yours. Tell them you promise to wear matching T shirts if you all end up at Disney.
OP needs to cut these people out of her life. They would probably start calling the baby by the name they want, not what the child was actually named by her/his parents. Her father is the only one she shares any blood with, and he’s made it clear that he is not on her side, in this or,apparently, anything else. NC is the way to go.
Should start calling THEM unusual names(nature or not, maybe make up something, even, like in sci fi for example) and keep changing in that theme, or mix it up. Anyone opposing, fight me!
OP has an AWESOME name, as her mom does(whatever it is) and any her child has!
My dad insisted on giving me his first name, which I almost never use, and when I got married he tried to get my in-laws on his side. I divorced before he died, and ended a chain that went back at least four generations, but as far as I can tell, was meant to honor prolly who didn't do anything to earn it. It's never occurred to me to offer unsolicited advice on baby names; no matter whose baby, it's none of my damn business. I wouldn't want to give a baby a name that'll invite bullying or make them unhireable, but nor would I give a baby a name just to fit in
Discussing/brainstorming names with family is really fun and should not at all be about pressuring. It's also a really good way to make sure it's not a name that will get mispronounced too much, has unfortunate nicknames and that it will grow them. That said, it is always up to the parents
Dear OP maybe this is moot by now (IE You've had your child and named her what you chose to) but FTW your not the AH here, You and your partner created this child together, your step mom and dad have voiced there opinions you told your not interested in there opinions and the you/your partner want to name YOUR child something unique and dealing with nature so dad and step mom need to BUT OUT and accept YOUR choice for the child's name. IMO Dad & Step mom seem to have never truly accepted YOU for your self they want you to be someone different obviously you an adult now and not a 5 year old child they bed to start treating as said adult and stop pushing there ideas on you May you and your partner have a truly wonderful time together and with your your child(ren)
when i was pregnant with my first, before we knew the gender, my bio mom was insistent on me naming the kid either after my grandpa if it was a boy or the female version of my brothers name if it was a girl (think if he was named Robert she wanted the name to be roberta) nothing wrong with those names, however they were never up for consideration as they didnt sound good with husbands last name. she told me i had to name my baby after them, because thats the only way the baby would be successful. she firmly believed that naming my kid after a person would infuse that kid with that persons soul or something and make them their carbon copy. this was not a cultural thing. she was a middle aged caucasian american woman with no other cultural background to speak of. i honestly think she thought my kid would reincarnate as my grandpa or something even though she had never believed in it before. we did not name my kid after any family
NTA. THEY are callously dismissing YOUR feelings. YOUR family has nature names, and your child will fit in perfectly.
Fighting because of a name is too stupid and a waste of time. I do wish that OP would have just heard the names that her stepmother gave her and then tell them that they would decideon the name in private and after the baby is born everyone would know the name, also, shut them up every time they brought it up.
Your dad and Jane named their children, you get to name yours.
Don't call it a "suggestion" if you meant it as more than that.
I read that as George Formby (UK actor/singer during the '30s and '40s btw) and wondered what on earth he had to do with it! Sorry!
Load More Replies... I have no problem telling my friends that their baby name choices (pre-birth) are weird or may have potential issues. But it’s 100% their choice and when little Twig or Bamboo make their entrance into the world I use their name. And guess what, it usually fits their personality pretty well. If the kid ends up hating it, it’s their choice to change it, not anyone else’s.
Big Ole difference between saying "thats a weird name" and "your name cant reflect your mom, you need to 'blend' in with us."
Load More Replies...
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