Mom Asks For Advice On How To Deal With Entitled Neighbor Sending Her Unsupervised Child To Her Pool
The nice thing about having a yard is the privacy it gives you, a little plot of land to have what you want and do what you want. It’s great if one has kids, as it can be a perfect outdoor play space. Water activities are great in the summer heat, but kids always need to be supervised near pools and other similar constructions, so some parents are hesitant to overdo it.
So one mother asked the internet for advice when her neighbor would keep sending her children over to use a paddling pool. The neighbor made such a fuss about OP being a “killjoy” that she really thought that she needed a second opinion.
More info: Mumsnet
Kids in pools big or small still need to be supervised by an adult
Image credits: Juan Salamanca (not the actual photo)
So a mother was called a killjoy when her neighbors would send their kid over uninvented to use a paddling pool
Image credits: Lisa Fotios (not the actual photo)
Image source: Imdonewithsergio
Pools are one of the most common causes of death for children
Setting aside the already sufficient factor that it is OP’s property and that should be the end of any argument, there are other risks to adding another kid to a, reportedly, pretty full paddling pool. Bodies of water, no matter how shallow and “friendly”, have some risks associated with them. OP mentions having a whopping five children already, more than a handful, so even one more is already pretty unreasonable. Pools are, ultimately, a common cause of death for children who may not know how to rescue themselves even in shallow water and may panic. In the US, for example, a child is more likely to die from drowning in a pool than from a gun.
OP indicates that the neighbor child is wild and “uncontrollable,” adding more supervision challenges on top of the aforementioned five whole children. Furthermore, none of the children are quite old enough to be a backup lifeguard to the mother and she has to look after a newborn. It’s worth adding that OP’s children seem to enjoy the pool less when this neighbor kid shows up, which is enough of a red flag that even if OP was more open to allowing an extra kid around.
Entitled people are a nuisance to all around them
Ultimately, it’s hard to blame a four-year-old, instead, the real perpetrator here is the mother. Instead of, for example, getting her own paddling pool or even offering to help babysit, this mom attempted to gaslight OP into just accepting her child and calling her a killjoy, which is pretty ridiculous behavior when you are using someone’s property for free. Unfortunately, she seems to fall into the category of being deeply entitled, which is often the worst kind of person to deal with.
Entitlement, or at least how it originates, is not well understood, as it, by definition, tends to defy rationality and logic. Entitled people believe themselves “worthy” of things that they have no real reason to own and tend to get angry and aggressive when this is pointed out. Some researchers believe this could be the result of a personality disorder, distorting how a human sees themselves and their relations to the world by extension.
Readers sided with OP and told her to be more strict about her own property
If that kid were to become injured (or heaven forbid, drown) their parents could hold you legally responsible. Next time the kid’s in your pool, call the cops and have them explain the concept of trespassing to their entitled parents.
Just wanted to say the same, the entitled mother wouldn't wait a second to sue OP for that. They need to make sure that kid doesn't trespass anymore, even if it means installing a fence.
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Poor baby. I can’t imagine sending a 4 year old outside on their own and then leaving them to play at a neighbors house not knowing whether they are welcome or receiving adequate supervision. This is just sad. I’m genuinely worried about this kid.
Same… I just want to give him a hug. He’s probably a handful, as the OP stated, because he doesn’t get the proper attention.
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The a$$h0les are absolutely using the OP as a free babysitter: "they do have a pool. [...] But they just send him over if mine is out and claim he gets bored playing alone." [the details are from the original post and comments].
He gets “bored”? My response would be “And you feel that’s my problem why?” I neither have nor like kids so maybe it’s my lack of knowledge, but I can’t even *fathom* my mother having done something like this. There was, in fact, a “neighbor” (I grew up in a rural area; no one was within walking distance) with a big and beautiful in-ground pool, and we went there once a week … and never more. We didn’t wanna wear our welcomes out. Moreover, I BROKE MY NECK in that pool, and the woman who owned it went to her grave never knowing I’d done that because we weren’t litigious and I broke it by being frightened to dive head-first into the water and so tipped my head upwards at the last moment, hitting the water with my chin. My mom was scared we’d not be invited over again had she known. My mother would have sooner died than tell that woman to look after us! What has gotten into people these days, and why isn’t etiquette valued anymore?
Load More Replies... If that kid were to become injured (or heaven forbid, drown) their parents could hold you legally responsible. Next time the kid’s in your pool, call the cops and have them explain the concept of trespassing to their entitled parents.
Just wanted to say the same, the entitled mother wouldn't wait a second to sue OP for that. They need to make sure that kid doesn't trespass anymore, even if it means installing a fence.
Load More Replies... Poor baby. I can’t imagine sending a 4 year old outside on their own and then leaving them to play at a neighbors house not knowing whether they are welcome or receiving adequate supervision. This is just sad. I’m genuinely worried about this kid.
Same… I just want to give him a hug. He’s probably a handful, as the OP stated, because he doesn’t get the proper attention.
Load More Replies... The a$$h0les are absolutely using the OP as a free babysitter: "they do have a pool. [...] But they just send him over if mine is out and claim he gets bored playing alone." [the details are from the original post and comments].
He gets “bored”? My response would be “And you feel that’s my problem why?” I neither have nor like kids so maybe it’s my lack of knowledge, but I can’t even *fathom* my mother having done something like this. There was, in fact, a “neighbor” (I grew up in a rural area; no one was within walking distance) with a big and beautiful in-ground pool, and we went there once a week … and never more. We didn’t wanna wear our welcomes out. Moreover, I BROKE MY NECK in that pool, and the woman who owned it went to her grave never knowing I’d done that because we weren’t litigious and I broke it by being frightened to dive head-first into the water and so tipped my head upwards at the last moment, hitting the water with my chin. My mom was scared we’d not be invited over again had she known. My mother would have sooner died than tell that woman to look after us! What has gotten into people these days, and why isn’t etiquette valued anymore?
Load More Replies...
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