“I Feel Like A Pig In The Middle”: Woman Refuses To Watch SIL’s Kids, Asks If She’s Right

Being a full time parent is a grueling and dare we say thankless job. Not only do you have to look after the kids, but you are also expected to manage all the household chores. And as if this isn’t enough, friends and family also lean on you for some extra help. However, there are times when it’s important to hold your position and say no. 

For example, a woman shared on the Mumsnet community how she stood her ground after her sister-in-law repeatedly asked her to babysit her children. The woman explained that while she was a stay-at-home mom, her sister-in-law had a full-time job. Read on to discover the full story and see how people online responded.

Being a full time mom can be incredibly challenging 

Woman smiling while holding a baby and standing with a young girl, in a bright room.

Image credits: milanzeremski (not the actual photo)

A woman recounted how her brother-in-law and his wife were upset with her for declining to look after their children

Text discussing refusal to babysit sister-in-law’s kids during holidays, emphasizing being a busy full-time parent.

Text about a woman feeling like a "pig in the middle" for not wanting to watch her sister-in-law's kids.

Woman sitting on kitchen counter, gesturing while talking to another person, discussing a dilemma with sister-in-law’s kids.

Image credits: LightFieldStudios (not the actual photo)

Text expressing frustration about balancing children's activities and responsibilities.

Text about feeling caught in the middle when refusing to watch sister-in-law's kids.

Image credits: Aprilmaymum

The author provided additional context about their family and the challenges they are facing

Text message about refusing to watch SIL's kids, discussing family responsibilities and boundaries.

Text submission discussing refusal to watch sister-in-law's kids, feeling caught in the middle.

Text conversation discussing family dynamics and husband’s support over childcare refusal.

Text conversation about looking after six children, all under age nine, including active twins.

Discussion about family obligations and childcare plans in an online forum.

Sometimes being a full-time parent is a financial decision

Parents often choose to stay at home to look after their children for a variety of reasons. Research shows that a lot of individuals think this is the best option for kids if it’s financially feasible. A Pew Research Center study points out that nearly 18% of parents in the US stayed home with their children in 2021.

Many moms and dads believe that being around their young ones influences their early development. This is true because human babies are highly reliant on their parents from birth. A kid’s social, emotional, and cognitive growth depends on a caring relationship with their primary caregiver, typically a parent, since their brains are developing during the first two years of life.

Through the early years, when parents are around, they get to establish a strong bond with their child. Not only are they able to give personalized care but also offer irreplaceable advice that can mold the behavior, values, and emotional well-being of their offspring.

There are times when one parent decides to stay home full-time due to financial reasons. The cost of professional childcare has significantly increased over time. Therefore, for some families, it is more cost-effective doing the job themselves instead of taking their kid either to daycare or hiring a nanny.

Wendy Chun-Hoon, director of the Women’s Bureau of the US Department of Labor, says, “All across the country, families are facing burdensome childcare expenses. The last few years have highlighted the tension parents experience when they need to go to work to provide for their families but have difficulty doing so if they can’t access affordable childcare.”

According to Pew Research Center’s Social and Demographic Trends report, six out of ten Americans considered it best for children if at least one parent stays home with them at all times, while 35 percent said children are just as well off when both parents work away from home.

Woman holding a child on her lap, looking thoughtful in a cave-like setting.

Image credits:Colin Maynard (not the actual photo)

Parents often seek flexible schedules to better care for their little ones

Moreover, individuals who tend to be particular about how their children are raised usually have one parent stay at home. This way, moms and dads can dictate more of what happens in the child’s everyday life: their meals, bedtimes, screen time, and so forth.

Consider a mother who is very concerned with healthy eating and wants her child to develop good eating habits from an early age. The option of being a housewife will enable her to provide them a well-rounded diet that will include less sugary or processed food.

Some people prioritize their family life over career advancement and choose to focus solely on their parenting responsibilities. This is particularly true for individuals with demanding jobs that would leave them with little time or energy for their little one.

However, whether you choose to stay at home or work is a personal decision. Selecting one option over the other does not give others the right to take advantage of you. Have you ever been in a situation where any of your relatives expected you to do their duties? How did it go?

Parents walking with two young children on a sunny path, emphasizing family dynamics and responsibilities.

Image credits: Vidal Balielo Jr. (not the actual photo)

People online expressed strong support for the author, stating it was definitely not their responsibility to care for their brother-in-law’s children

Comment text supporting woman who refuses to babysit sister-in-law’s kids.

Text response about refusing to watch sister-in-law's kids, emphasizing difficulty of childcare.

Text comment criticizing childcare planning.

Online comment supporting woman refusing to watch sister-in-law's kids.

Comment on family dynamics, saying MIL can handle it.

Comment discussing refusal to provide free childcare as a stay-at-home mom.

Text message expressing frustration over neighbors leaving kids with others frequently.

Text exchange about refusing to watch sister-in-law’s kids, mentioning serious illness as a condition.

Text expressing frustration over childcare issues with sister-in-law's kids.

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