“This Isn’t Love, Love Is A Verb”: Woman Kicks BF Out For Eating The Food She Could Barely Afford
While kicking someone out of your house is not the best solution per se, it is definitely a valid one as it gets things done and sends a message. Besides, everyone needs a swift kick every once in a while to keep us straight.
A mother recently went online to share her rather desperate predicament with a boyfriend who, despite things being pretty dire food-wise, kept eating their food and, in exchange, contributing absolutely nothing.
These days, a hundred bucks isn’t all that much. So, imagine having to make that last for a month and someone also trying to eat part of it
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
A woman recently had to kick out her boyfriend who kept eating the family’s food while refusing to chip in
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Humble_Bet_3493
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
For the record, nobody went hungry, especially not the kids involved, and this predicament became a positive turn for the woman
The story goes that OP is a mother of 3 and has a boyfriend who is a “recovering” addict. She never states what sort of addiction it is and expresses her doubt in his recovery as things just never seem to change.
Another thing that never seems to change is his habit of popping by their home several times a week to eat their food. All would be well if not for OP’s $100 budget for the month. Yes, you heard it right, for the month.
When asked to chip in, he would flat out refuse and try to calm her down by making empty promises that he’ll always take care of them.
Well, this one time was the final straw when he managed to eat leftovers that were supposed to be the kids’ lunch. So, she booted him out. Until now, she did feel like she might have been making a big deal out of it. But it took a while for her to understand what’s really up, and good for her!
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It was good riddance to bad rubbish as the woman updated the post to explain how she took action to make a change for the better
Following the posting of the story on Reddit, OP also added an update on some of the positive things that have happened since then.
Namely, she reassured the internet that nobody was going hungry and got in touch with some folks. First, she set up a meeting with a lawyer to discuss child support as well as the option of going no-contact.
She also reached out to her mother explaining the situation, who was more than happy to send some groceries and a few gift cards.
Lastly, OP also organized therapy for herself and the kids as the guy was a bit of an abusive boyfriend.
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Commenters were all over the place with opinions, but one thing was certain: they all agreed that kicking the boyfriend out was the right thing
Given that the boyfriend has a kid, an addiction, and flat out refuses to help out alone makes him eligible for not being welcome in OP’s household. However, others were also quick to point out that abuse is never OK and so that too means out with him.
Others had a bone to pick with OP. They encouraged (in the only way netizens can) OP to get her priorities straight. She shouldn’t let someone like her boyfriend be around her kids, she shouldn’t be letting him inside her house period, let alone feed him. OP deserved more, and folks pointed that out.
Yet others gave some context and pointed out that saying things like “I didn’t think you were serious”, “I thought you were joking” and “I didn’t think you meant it” are defensive cries of narcissism. And that’s never good in a leech relationship.
Image credits: Ron Lach / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s a good thing the woman started getting out of that relationship sooner rather than later
As you might have already gathered from the story itself, the abusive relationship was one that was hard to leave. Generally, reasons can come in many shapes—child safety, custody, financial issues, housing and physical safety, just to name a few. And these make decisions hard to make.
However, leaving must be done for the self and for the kids. It’s important to make a safety plan, which would identify safe places to lay low for a while, figuring out how to leave the house (preferably quickly) undetected and preparing all the belongings and things you might need, among other things.
What OP did right was she sought legal advice because that would empower the abused to have added protection against the abuser.
Other things that might help the situation is having a designated helper with whom you’d have code words to keep things secret, and hence safe. And speaking of safety, online privacy is also a priority: changing passwords, making accounts private, and even getting an extra phone can go a long way in keeping things secret and secure.
And remember, there’s always a hotline.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Share your thoughts and verdicts in the comment section below!
Folks online shared their takes, good or bad, mostly focusing on the fact that the woman should set her priorities straight
The biggest thing I noticed here was her saying she's ashamed to admit the history of abuse. It's so sad people feel this way, it's nothing to be ashamed of. However! Acknowledging this, the lack of support financially from him and still letting him around the children I just can't fathom.
This one really buried the lede with the whole thing about having kids together.
Yup -- "boyfriend" here should be "deadbeat baby-daddy."
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Glad to see OP seems to be taking a lot of huge steps to extricate her and the kids out of this situation. Even without all of the background, NTA for telling a leech to help with the groceries or you don't eat, so GTFO.
The biggest thing I noticed here was her saying she's ashamed to admit the history of abuse. It's so sad people feel this way, it's nothing to be ashamed of. However! Acknowledging this, the lack of support financially from him and still letting him around the children I just can't fathom.
This one really buried the lede with the whole thing about having kids together.
Yup -- "boyfriend" here should be "deadbeat baby-daddy."
Load More Replies... Glad to see OP seems to be taking a lot of huge steps to extricate her and the kids out of this situation. Even without all of the background, NTA for telling a leech to help with the groceries or you don't eat, so GTFO.
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