Family Buys Dream Home, But In-Laws Won’t Leave And SIL Tries To Move In – Wife Finally Snaps
There must be something magical about finally moving into your dream home. You envision peaceful mornings with coffee, the kids running wild, and maybe a horse or two grazing in the backyard. But what happens when your personal paradise turns into a family free-for-all with more drama than a telenovela?
Today’s Original Poster (OP) thought her family was moving into greener pastures, literally. But what she didn’t expect was that the pasture would soon be full of uninvited guests, entitled relatives, and emotional whiplash from long-lost family members who only remembered they existed once the countryside moved into view.
More info: Mumsnet
Whether it’s family and friends, there’s something unsettling about those who only reach out when it’s convenient for them
Image credits: Tierra Mallorca / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author and her husband bought their dream house, which was in a location her in-laws considered a holiday spot
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Maryia Plashchynskaya / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Before then, the in-laws made no efforts to visit or even get to know her children, but when they moved there, their visits became frequent
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Manuel Campagnoli / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She didn’t necessarily have a problem with it, even when her sister-in-law announced that she was going to live in a caravan on their property
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, one day, her husband mentioned that the plans had shifted and that his sister would now be moving into the house with them
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
This bothered the author, and when she brought her concerns up to her husband, he said she was being unreasonable
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Tiana / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, now her husband is beginning to see that his sister moving in was a bad idea and has agreed that his family just might be using him
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Still, they decided to let her sister-in-law stay in the house for only six months while working and contributing to things for the house
Image credits: Sp3849
Image credits: Nathan Cowley / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her in-laws weren’t happy about this, and the sister-in-law insisted that she could live in the house and help out with their daughter
Image credits: Sp3849
They refused to take her up on the offer, pointing out that she had never really cared about their daughter, and that she could do that from afar
After years of hard work, the OP and her family finally bought their dream house, complete with land to fulfill their daughter’s dream of owning a horse. It was a big move, both emotionally and physically as they had to uproot their entire lives and relocate. For a while, everything seemed perfect. But things started to get weird when her husband’s family, who had been emotionally distant for years, suddenly started visiting often.
However, that wasn’t all. Her husband’s sister soon announced she was quitting her job and moving nearby. Initially, she was supportive. After all, her sister-in-law had a horse-related career and could be a great mentor for their daughter, so the idea of parking a caravan on the property seemed manageable until the plan shifted.
One day, her husband informed her out of the blue that his sister would now be moving into their home. Despite reassurances that it was temporary, the workload and stress mounted fast. The husband’s family essentially took over the property, demanding new fencing, horse setups, and home renovations without offering to contribute financially or physically.
Image credits: Anna Tarazevich / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Verywell Mind highlights the ways to know that someone might be using you: they regularly impose on you without regard for your time or needs, expect you to meet their demands, and rarely show up when the roles are reversed. These relationships often feel one-sided and emotionally draining.
According to Simply Psychology, when people feel used, they might still struggle with setting boundaries. They explain that many people hesitate to set boundaries out of fear they’ll appear selfish or cause conflict.
However, protecting your space requires taking responsibility for what you will and won’t allow without waiting for others to change. They insist that since we can’t control how others behave, the only real power we have is in defining and enforcing our own limits.
It is particularly frustrating when a person constantly sets and enforces boundaries when others don’t, which could explain why the OP and her husband are now in conflict. However, National University outlines key strategies for handling conflict in relationships are assuming your partner means well, expressing your thoughts clearly and calmly, and not blaming one’s partner.
Netizens see the sister-in-law moving in as a breaking point with several calling it a “disaster waiting to happen”. They also warned the OP that failing to act now could cost her both her peace and her marriage. They all backed the idea that clear boundaries and consequences are essential before things go too far.
What do you think about this situation? What would you do if your in-laws suddenly started showing up uninvited after years of no contact? We would love to hear your thoughts!
Netizens rallied around the author and insisted that they must stand firm on not letting her move in completely
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
I think everyone here is well aware of how this will end. The sister shouldn't move in. Period.
Favourite option - don't let her move in. Second option - send them a text that one single complaint or attempt at rule change, and she's out. This second option is more magical than it initially seems as I'll bet £100 that they won't be able to hold themselves in to adhere to it until she's moved in!
The sister is 30 years old and has always lived with her doting parents. It's hard to rehome a 30-year-old. I'm glad the OP's husband agreed to return it to the previous owners. That breed is a bit ornery, but with a little training, it could work as a caretaker for them in their old age.
My sister is now 45 and never rehomed bar those 3 months and then she came home pregnant with her garbage bf. She leeched off my mother her entire life. Mon died last year and my brother and I neither know or GAF about how she is coping.
Load More Replies...Tell parents and sister: "You need to pay a $10,000 CASH DEPOSIT, and it needs to be paid - in full - 2 weeks before sis moves in. If you are unable or unwilling to pay the deposit, sis needs to make different living arrangements."
I would not let that sister in law move in, at all. This is your home, your new home. You're not even properly settled and they're already trying to take over your home. I have no doubt once sister gets herself into your home she won't leave, she'll even probably get the law involved so she can leech for longer.
The caveat that she get a job first should do it. She won't, I'd bet, since she's trying to freeload. I love how this woman returned awkward to sender. And I'm very glad the husband grew a spine; it's about time. Well done on them, keep holding firm.
I wonder where this is at. 60 days in a lot of places makes that person a tenant. Which means courts get involved.
Exactly why OP and Hubby should get everything in writing, signed and notarized by an attorney. That way, SIL will know that OP means business with a capital 'B'.
Load More Replies...So, they only ever saw his family if they went to visit them, and Op is going to allow them to come every 6 weeks? Oh, H311 no! They shouldn't even get 4 times a year. His family all sound like losers who are users.
Don’t let her move until planning has agreed to the static, she has bought a static, and give her the exact date she has to be out of your house by, written in a contract.
I struggle with the "we are far from rich" comment and it makes me laugh how wealthy people often define themself as absolutely not rich, but to much of the population they are. To some people having a net worth of 5 million dollars is middle class, to some it's rich. If you can afford to buy your dream home on a bunch of land and own a horse ($$$) I think you're doing better than ok. On that note, how does SIL think she can own a horse without a job?
They need a contract that is legally binding or the SIL will never leave!
Look up "boundaries" in the dictionary. Then look up "no." Maybe your library had a book called "Stand up for yourselves for Dummies." You (both) have the power to say, "no." Thus to the extent that this doesn't turn out well it is on you.
They treated your husband like "sh*t" growing up. Why is any of this a question? BTW, you're treating him like "sh*t" too by just giving him an ultimatum of divorce rather than supporting him to become more assertive. I need to go wash my brain out . . . .
Tea, in many regions, is a catch-all term for refreshments/afternoon or evening meal.
Load More Replies...I think everyone here is well aware of how this will end. The sister shouldn't move in. Period.
Favourite option - don't let her move in. Second option - send them a text that one single complaint or attempt at rule change, and she's out. This second option is more magical than it initially seems as I'll bet £100 that they won't be able to hold themselves in to adhere to it until she's moved in!
The sister is 30 years old and has always lived with her doting parents. It's hard to rehome a 30-year-old. I'm glad the OP's husband agreed to return it to the previous owners. That breed is a bit ornery, but with a little training, it could work as a caretaker for them in their old age.
My sister is now 45 and never rehomed bar those 3 months and then she came home pregnant with her garbage bf. She leeched off my mother her entire life. Mon died last year and my brother and I neither know or GAF about how she is coping.
Load More Replies...Tell parents and sister: "You need to pay a $10,000 CASH DEPOSIT, and it needs to be paid - in full - 2 weeks before sis moves in. If you are unable or unwilling to pay the deposit, sis needs to make different living arrangements."
I would not let that sister in law move in, at all. This is your home, your new home. You're not even properly settled and they're already trying to take over your home. I have no doubt once sister gets herself into your home she won't leave, she'll even probably get the law involved so she can leech for longer.
The caveat that she get a job first should do it. She won't, I'd bet, since she's trying to freeload. I love how this woman returned awkward to sender. And I'm very glad the husband grew a spine; it's about time. Well done on them, keep holding firm.
I wonder where this is at. 60 days in a lot of places makes that person a tenant. Which means courts get involved.
Exactly why OP and Hubby should get everything in writing, signed and notarized by an attorney. That way, SIL will know that OP means business with a capital 'B'.
Load More Replies...So, they only ever saw his family if they went to visit them, and Op is going to allow them to come every 6 weeks? Oh, H311 no! They shouldn't even get 4 times a year. His family all sound like losers who are users.
Don’t let her move until planning has agreed to the static, she has bought a static, and give her the exact date she has to be out of your house by, written in a contract.
I struggle with the "we are far from rich" comment and it makes me laugh how wealthy people often define themself as absolutely not rich, but to much of the population they are. To some people having a net worth of 5 million dollars is middle class, to some it's rich. If you can afford to buy your dream home on a bunch of land and own a horse ($$$) I think you're doing better than ok. On that note, how does SIL think she can own a horse without a job?
They need a contract that is legally binding or the SIL will never leave!
Look up "boundaries" in the dictionary. Then look up "no." Maybe your library had a book called "Stand up for yourselves for Dummies." You (both) have the power to say, "no." Thus to the extent that this doesn't turn out well it is on you.
They treated your husband like "sh*t" growing up. Why is any of this a question? BTW, you're treating him like "sh*t" too by just giving him an ultimatum of divorce rather than supporting him to become more assertive. I need to go wash my brain out . . . .
Tea, in many regions, is a catch-all term for refreshments/afternoon or evening meal.
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