Let’s set all the fairytales and our idealistic thinking aside for a moment. Life isn’t clear-cut and black-and-white: there’s plenty of nuances, twists, and complex emotions that we have to get through. Life’s messy and we can’t expect that everyone will conform to the same way that we think, no matter the topic. Even having kids.
In a very candid and nuanced post on Reddit’s AITA community, user Ambivalent_Mom12 shared that she doesn’t love being pregnant or the baby stage. You won’t find many people being so brutally honest about their feelings—it takes a lot of courage. However, the mom still felt guilty for thinking these things and wanted Reddit’s opinion whether she was totally out of line.
The 31-year-old career-focused redditor pointed out that she already has a son who’s a year-and-a-half old and is pregnant with her second child. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and will love the new baby too but I really have no interest in staying home with my children,” she shared. When her friends and family found out, however, they were mortified. Have a read through her full story, dear Pandas, and let us know what your thoughts on the situation are.
One mom was completely honest about her feelings about being pregnant and ‘the baby stage,’ but her friends and family were less than pleased
Image credits: Boris Jovanovic (not the actual photo)
Ambivalent_Mom12 was honest that she takes pride in her job. As such, her husband has voluntarily decided to take a step back from his own career to spend more time with the kids. It seems like a very mature agreement based on lots and lots of discussions.
However, when the mom was at a social gathering, she chose to be completely honest when a woman confronted her about whether or not she thought that being pregnant is wonderful. “I said that I honestly do not enjoy being pregnant and the baby stage is tough and while I am happy to have another baby I am not really looking forward to taking time off and being stuck at home,” the mom shared.
Immediately, some of the women thought that Ambivalent_Mom12 had a problem. They implied that she might have postpartum depression and suggested that she go to therapy. They jumped to the conclusion that the mom supposedly didn’t love her kids because she wasn’t ecstatic about spending all of her time at home. Though clearly, the mom loves her kids but is honest about the fact that she has other ambitions in life as well.
Postpartum depression or PPD, what the friends and family members were referring to, is depression that you might get after having a baby. According to WebMD, it’s most common to feel its effects during the first three weeks after your baby is born, however, it can start at any time during the child’s first year.
“If you have it, you might feel sad, hopeless, and guilty because you may not feel like you want to bond with, or care for, your baby. Postpartum depression doesn’t just affect first-time moms. You can get it even if you didn’t have it when your other children were born,” WebMD notes.