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‘I Have No Interest In Staying Home With Kids:’ Woman Is Honest About Her Feelings, Gets Mommy-Shamed
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Parenting, Social Issues1 year ago

‘I Have No Interest In Staying Home With Kids:’ Woman Is Honest About Her Feelings, Gets Mommy-Shamed

Let’s set all the fairytales and our idealistic thinking aside for a moment. Life isn’t clear-cut and black-and-white: there’s plenty of nuances, twists, and complex emotions that we have to get through. Life’s messy and we can’t expect that everyone will conform to the same way that we think, no matter the topic. Even having kids.

In a very candid and nuanced post on Reddit’s AITA community, user Ambivalent_Mom12 shared that she doesn’t love being pregnant or the baby stage. You won’t find many people being so brutally honest about their feelings—it takes a lot of courage. However, the mom still felt guilty for thinking these things and wanted Reddit’s opinion whether she was totally out of line.

The 31-year-old career-focused redditor pointed out that she already has a son who’s a year-and-a-half old and is pregnant with her second child. “Don’t get me wrong, I love my son and will love the new baby too but I really have no interest in staying home with my children,” she shared. When her friends and family found out, however, they were mortified. Have a read through her full story, dear Pandas, and let us know what your thoughts on the situation are.

One mom was completely honest about her feelings about being pregnant and ‘the baby stage,’ but her friends and family were less than pleased

Image credits: Boris Jovanovic (not the actual photo)

Ambivalent_Mom12 was honest that she takes pride in her job. As such, her husband has voluntarily decided to take a step back from his own career to spend more time with the kids. It seems like a very mature agreement based on lots and lots of discussions.

However, when the mom was at a social gathering, she chose to be completely honest when a woman confronted her about whether or not she thought that being pregnant is wonderful. “I said that I honestly do not enjoy being pregnant and the baby stage is tough and while I am happy to have another baby I am not really looking forward to taking time off and being stuck at home,” the mom shared.

Immediately, some of the women thought that Ambivalent_Mom12 had a problem. They implied that she might have postpartum depression and suggested that she go to therapy. They jumped to the conclusion that the mom supposedly didn’t love her kids because she wasn’t ecstatic about spending all of her time at home. Though clearly, the mom loves her kids but is honest about the fact that she has other ambitions in life as well.

Postpartum depression or PPD, what the friends and family members were referring to, is depression that you might get after having a baby. According to WebMD, it’s most common to feel its effects during the first three weeks after your baby is born, however, it can start at any time during the child’s first year.

“If you have it, you might feel sad, hopeless, and guilty because you may not feel like you want to bond with, or care for, your baby. Postpartum depression doesn’t just affect first-time moms. You can get it even if you didn’t have it when your other children were born,” WebMD notes.

Here’s what internet users had to say about the mom’s situation. Many were very sympathetic

Some other moms added that pregnancy can be extremely tough and its all right to admit that you’re not a fan of the process

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N G
Community Member
1 year ago

Amy is the one needing therapy. She's so desperate to experience pregnancy she's romanticising the experience: no part of it can possibly negative or worthy of dislike. None of this has anything to so with the ambivalent mother at all - it's all infertility projection. Same with the rest of the group (possibly "protecting" Amy) saying the baby stage is all positive - they are deluding themselves, either on purpose or unconsciously, if they genuinely don't remember *any* negative times when their children were very little.

Aisling Raye
Community Member
1 year ago

I think as a culture women tend to romanticize pregnancy. It's completely wrong to do so. Women absolutely should know the both the good and the bad. Going into a pregnancy thinking it's going to be all rainbows and roses are in for a rough awakening. Maybe all the good PR for being pregnant is an unconscious way of inviting those around you to go through the misery with you? Lol. And before I get called out, I have a friend that LOVES being pregnant. She had three of her own has is now on her second surrogacy. Some women adore it and others hate the process. Everyone is allowed to have their own feelings on the topic and none of those feelings are more or less valid than the others.

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Weronika Kasperska
Community Member
1 year ago

I have two amazing Kids and love them to the Moon and back, but pregnancy is a nightmare. And baby stage is like gate of hell, I’m happy that we survived this

Abhinc
Community Member
1 year ago

i couldn't agree more !! having kids is great (if you want some) but raising a child is so challenging !! as a man i don't know what it is but pregnancy childbirth breastfeeding and so on look so painful and tiring ... it's time to be honest about all this !! people need to know what they will have to go through before deciding to make a baby

Load More Replies...
Juririn
Community Member
1 year ago

What about lactating and breastfeeding? I honestly didn't enjoy THAT, but I did it anyway, because ... Was relieved when my baby weaned himself, and that's my truth.

pebs
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh yes! Many friends of mine just hated breastfeeding, and no one ever thought to shame them. Obviously, we don't live in the US.

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N G
Community Member
1 year ago

Amy is the one needing therapy. She's so desperate to experience pregnancy she's romanticising the experience: no part of it can possibly negative or worthy of dislike. None of this has anything to so with the ambivalent mother at all - it's all infertility projection. Same with the rest of the group (possibly "protecting" Amy) saying the baby stage is all positive - they are deluding themselves, either on purpose or unconsciously, if they genuinely don't remember *any* negative times when their children were very little.

Aisling Raye
Community Member
1 year ago

I think as a culture women tend to romanticize pregnancy. It's completely wrong to do so. Women absolutely should know the both the good and the bad. Going into a pregnancy thinking it's going to be all rainbows and roses are in for a rough awakening. Maybe all the good PR for being pregnant is an unconscious way of inviting those around you to go through the misery with you? Lol. And before I get called out, I have a friend that LOVES being pregnant. She had three of her own has is now on her second surrogacy. Some women adore it and others hate the process. Everyone is allowed to have their own feelings on the topic and none of those feelings are more or less valid than the others.

Load More Replies...
Weronika Kasperska
Community Member
1 year ago

I have two amazing Kids and love them to the Moon and back, but pregnancy is a nightmare. And baby stage is like gate of hell, I’m happy that we survived this

Abhinc
Community Member
1 year ago

i couldn't agree more !! having kids is great (if you want some) but raising a child is so challenging !! as a man i don't know what it is but pregnancy childbirth breastfeeding and so on look so painful and tiring ... it's time to be honest about all this !! people need to know what they will have to go through before deciding to make a baby

Load More Replies...
Juririn
Community Member
1 year ago

What about lactating and breastfeeding? I honestly didn't enjoy THAT, but I did it anyway, because ... Was relieved when my baby weaned himself, and that's my truth.

pebs
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh yes! Many friends of mine just hated breastfeeding, and no one ever thought to shame them. Obviously, we don't live in the US.

Load More Replies...
Load More Comments
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