Woman Asks Mom To Take Her Shrieking Toddler Outside So Everyone Can Enjoy Their Food At A Restaurant, Drama Ensues
Kids can be annoying, especially when they’re loud in places that we do not want them to be. Nico Alary, the co-owner of Holybelly in Paris, France, said restaurants don’t like babies, toddlers, and infants. “Even if the owner is baby-friendly, most [servers] aren’t. They are messy, noisy, sticky, clumsy, disruptive miniature trainwrecks,” he wrote. “If you work in our industry, don’t tell me you don’t … go ‘f***-f***-f***’ in your head when you see a charming couple with a pair of adorable kids pushing the doors of the restaurant you’re working at. I just won’t believe you.”
Alary highlighted that this doesn’t mean the workers despise babies; maybe they’re also parents. “Those are two totally unrelated things. It just means that [they’re] a seasoned professional and that deep down they know that one way or the other s*** is about to hit the fan,” he explained. This is a story about one of those times.
Recently, Redditor u/Wrong_Ad_3951 ran out of patience with a “shrieking” boy while trying to enjoy a meal at a nice restaurant, so she went over to the nearby table to ask his parents to do something about it. However, after hearing the mom’s reaction, she started wondering if she overstepped.
Image credits: Marcos Paulo Prado (not the actual photo)
Talya Stone, a former editor-in-chief turned parenting blogger and the woman behind Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What, thinks that every parent knows how mortifying it is having to deal with your child’s tantrum in public. “Personally, my approach is to remove my child (and myself) from the immediate surroundings so I can diffuse the situation without the added pressure of spectators,” Stone told Bored Panda. “The added bonus of removing your child from the situation is that it serves as the best distraction, which is ultimately what you need lots of when handling a public tantrum. This also ensures that you can take your child somewhere safe where they ride out their big emotions without others wading in with their views. This is a good strategy because when researchers looked at the components of tantrums and how long they lasted, they found something of great interest — when parents intervened with a child in a full tantrum, it took longer for the tantrum to finish. You can only imagine what having the public involved might do to the duration of a tantrum!”
Table manners, on the other hand, start at home. “Model good table manners and dining etiquette, but also don’t expect miracles with young children,” Stone said. “All you can do is put the building blocks in place; age and development play big parts here. Also, try to eat together as a family as much as possible so kids can understand the sort of behavior expected of them at the table. Lastly, I would refrain from parking kids in front of a phone or tablet at the dining table which, although might be a brilliant distraction, ultimately teaches them nothing about how they should behave at the dinner table.”
Talking about this particular case, Stone feels that neither party can get off scot-free. “I think it’s really insensitive of the woman who complained about the child to do so. Everyone was a badly behaved child once and perhaps she had forgotten that! And the last thing a stressed-out parent needs when dealing with a tantrum is a busybody in the mix.”
“Equally, I feel the mum probably should have known when to cut her losses and exit the restaurant temporarily until the child calmed down,” the parenting blogger added. “Although in an ideal world she wouldn’t have been asked to, but would have done so of her own accord (perhaps she wasn’t even given the chance). Having said that, when your children are bringing down the house with their tantrums, it can be seriously tough to think logically, so all in all, I’m on the mom’s side because dealing with a tantrum in public is never easy.”
Some people thought that OP was being totally reasonable
Etiquette expert Lisa M. Grotts says it’s a good idea to start with at least trying to sympathize with the parents of a screaming child.
“My heart goes out to those who try to curb bad behavior,” she explains.
With that being said, Lisa thinks a lot like Talya Stone and provides these 4 ways for taming problems at the table:
Practice makes perfect. “When you have dining rules at home, you can reinforce them before you go out, such as reminding children to be on their best behavior in public, to use their church voice, etc.”
Distractions help. “Find anything that will keep kids’ attention when the food won’t, such as books, coloring projects, etc.”
Manage expectations. “Sometimes an unplanned hug may work, but if you’re in a tough spot, be clear, from ‘Stop that,’ to ‘Be nice,’ etc.”
Remove the child from the situation. “Why add insult to injury? If the outburst won’t stop, then you stop it by removing your child from the table.”
At the end of the day, we should all remember that a little bit of empathy can make a huge difference. “Tantrums! [All parents] hate them,” Talya Stone said. “Particularly the ones where everyone’s watching! Standing by while your child puts on a show isn’t much fun. You can feel helpless and incompetent and just want it to end. But the bottom line is that all parents have had to deal with difficult moments and a little understanding from others goes a long way.”
While others believed the situation wasn’t all black and white
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Share on FacebookThe staff of the restaurant should have taken care of the problem. Since they obviously didn't want to do that, the girl was absolutely right to confront the parents. Other guests heard the shrieking child so there's no way that the staff wouldn't have noticed it. But I guess someone told them to ignore the noise because "the customer is always right".
You beat me to it Wil. And, why is this a question (NTA). It's normal if a terrible-2's tantrum is taken outside for a time out.
Load More Replies...NTA. I have kids myself and they don't just cry or tantrum, they have actual meltdowns. When my kids had those ear piercing screams, I would try everything I could to try and calm the situation. Then I would take them outside and if neither worked, then we left. There of course are exceptions but if no-one is at least trying to calm the child, then they are just inconsiderate assholes.
Sound very reasonable. Part of having kids is getting used to having your plans ruined and being able to handle it. I hope you never had to experience a childless 23 year old telling you to 'parent better' when your toddlers scream.
Load More Replies...This happened in a store. Woman enters with several kids and the youngest girl starts screaming. She wasn't in distress..she just liked the echo of her shrieks through the store. Every time the girl did it, I could hear people's hearing aids whistling as they quickly tried to turn them down. When we approached the mom, she says "Oh..she's just singing..." I said "Let her do it outside. Her 'singing' is setting off hearing aids and making it impossible for people to communicate with each other. Either that or get her to stop." The woman got pissed saying we were stifling her daughter's creativity. I repeated "Let her be creative outside!" The manager finally told her to leave. Apparently he didn't like her "singing" either.
When my son was one he loved the echoing of the grocery store, especially the frozen foods section. For months, every time we would go shopping he would start sing-screaming about his penis. I guess he was really proud of it or something? It was both hilarious and mortifying.
Load More Replies...Gratified to see that even parents don't think it's cool to let their screaming shitty brats bawl the house down and ruin life for everyone else. I grew up in an age where it was a goddam privilege be taken into a "place for grown ups" and you most certainly knew to be barely seen and not at all heard. Personally couldn't have that awkward conversation but totally respect those that do. Same as adults providing a running commentary at the theatre - shut the F**K up!!
I don’t think she did anything wrong. Part of the experience of dining out is the ambiance and if you’re dealing with a screaming child that part, that you paid for, is being slighted. I think parents tend to have a if I have to deal with it everyone has to mentality and I really hate that. No one asked you to have kids and it’s not the world’s problem because you did. If your kids can’t behave in public then maybe they shouldn’t be allowed out. Then again I’m one of those people who go out of the way to consider others and it seems people like myself are rare gems these days.
She is most definitely NTA here. Those suggesting she go through the restaurant employees or management are forgetting one thing. Employees won’t do anything to offend a customer, especially if they depend on tips. Management usually won’t do anything but appease and allow bad behavior to continue, because they’re out for money and want no bad word of mouth advertising. So yeah, she had to deal with it herself, as going through the restaurant wouldn’t have given her any satisfaction.
Not true. I specifically remember a TGIF that had my BF and I seated next to a center table of 6 with 3 kids. Of the approx 4 year olds were wandering and running. The wait staff was trying to dodge them. I asked to be moved or we were leaving. We were moved, got a couple free drinks and noticed the manager came out to speak to the parents. It was obvious why we moved so they gave us dirty looks but we just ignored them.
Load More Replies...Not the asshole. Children can be very disruptive, and a restaurant where people are enjoying their meals is not the place to ignore it. It is perfectly reasonable to request that the child be taken outside, especially since there were two parents at the table. If they weren't willing to do so, then they should have been asked to leave by management. This is a failure on the part of management. Kids will be kids, but there is a time and place for allowances. A restaurant that is not one primarily for children is not one of them.
Too young to really remember, but my mom said I was given a choice of sitting and eating with them or having my temper tantrum by myself out in the car (when you could still do things like that’). Seems I went with the car all of once, then decided to eat with them after that. I still have excellent restaurant manners, lol
With two parents there, they could have taken turns taking the kid outside. I watched that happen in a restaurant. In that situation, it took two or three trips outside for the child to calm down.
Load More Replies...If you don't want to take your obnoxious child outside but you want everyone to cater to you... then you should be paying for everyone's ruined dinner. Not the asshole. Ever. The staff should have taken care of it. But they weren't.... . So everyone should just endure the bullshit!? No. She had the balls to try to fix the problem. Everyone but her is in the wrong. I don't have kids mostly by choice.... so why should I have to listen to your when I'm paying for a fucken meal at a nice restaurant. Go somewhere kid friendly or be a good person and remove your human rooster.
Agreed, except even in a "kid-friendly" place, a child should not be left to just shriek for minutes and minutes. Other parents and little kids also don't want to hear that no matter where they are.
Load More Replies...My parents used to do this to us as kids if we acted up. We were taken to the car and we all had to sit there until we stfu. I plan on doing the same with my future child because it did teach me to behave in public. Plus, we were never taken to nicer places until we got a bit older for this same reason.
NTA!!! Like 1000% NTA. If this was an adult they would be asked to leave so why should other patrons have their experience ruined by another person? I completely understand that they are a child and are currently in the process of learning how to regulate their emotions, volume and just learning how to exist, but that does not excuses the parenta from dealing with the situation. Furthermore if the kid feels that this is the only way they can be heard it's because it has been reinforced by their parents actions. Kids have such a limited ability to communicate, so they will use what is most effective and using their instinctual logic if your not being heard you scream louder, so this is even more of a reflection on the parents being shitty parents because their child took the nuclear option because they knew no other option was available and it still didn't work.
There was a woman in a dept store letting her two under 5 kids run and scream and tear s**t up. The hub and I were commenting that our kids would never be allowed to behave that way and we walked out of that area. She confronted me in another aisle about what we said, asking if I did have kids and what she was supposed to do? Her kids needed shoes and they wouldn't cooperate. I told her yes, I did have kids and if they behaved like that we would have left the store and no one got new shoes that day. Oh well. She looked at me like I was nuts. Obviously the children were in charge. Oh, and she did not clean up their mess either.
So glad the tide of thought has changed bc I remember when this would have been YTA across the board. Sincerely, a mom of 4
NTA. Very tired of parents thinking the whole world has to move aside for their spawn. Why is it when people have kids, they start to think they're in their own Truman Show, and the world revolves around their family unit? Does having a kid make you forget there's a whole rest of the planet and it's other 7billion inhabitants who don't give a crap about your inability to use condoms?
I… might have told a table of adults that their vacation was going to become a lot less “happiest place on Earth” if they didn’t stop their 5 children from slamming their forks and spoons on every damn thing on the table (plates, glasses, napkin holders…) while singing Baby Shark. And while they’re at it, can they please give the one child that’s getting progressively louder some attention so she’ll stop screaming every random thought in her head in an effort to get a response? It had been a solid 20 minutes of 4 adults pretending they didn’t have kids. I was ready to stab either them or myself with a fork.
I have 2 kids. I can't tell you how many times I had to eat my food out of a to go box in the car because my kid was acting up in the restaurant and I took him out. Even while traveling, when we had no other option than to eat at a restaurant, if either of them are disruptive, one of us will remove them from the situation. If you stay, you're just setting them up for failure.
I don't have my own human offspring but I was a nanny for years. When a child would throw a fit in public, we immediately left. Not only to spare those around us, but so child learns there are consequences.
Thankfully quite a few of the pubs around here don't allow children under 12 in them and those are the pubs I usually eat at, especially as almost all of them are very dog friendly. There are few things I enjoy less than going out for meal and have parents let their children misbehave in the pub or restaurant. I certainly would not have been able to do it. My parents were very strict and made it clear that if we were going to adult places like pubs and restaurants, then we were to behave like adults. Their attitude was than in places like that children should be seen but not heard. I tend to agree with them. People would be very upset, and rightly so, if I allowed my dogs to run around and bark constantly, so why should it be any different for children.
I worked in a bar that unfortunately some people mistook for a place like Applebee's when we weren't busy. But we weren't allowed to turn away under 21 until @5pm because of lunch customers. (Subway style subs and microwave wings! Yum) So we would give "someone" money to play the jukebox. Limp bizkit Hot Dog and and Kid Rock F You Blind usually meant they wouldn't be back. Throw in some Nelly especially Batter Up because they heard The Jefferson's so they started listening! 🤬😂
Load More Replies...I can top this story... I was stuck on a full plane on a long flight back home on a very late Friday night. Most of the plane was full of exhausted businessmen like me. Sure enough, my luck was to get the seat next to a guy with a one year old kid. My sympathies go out to the child, because he was tired and unhappy too. He screamed like someone was pulling out his fingernails with pliers the entire trip across the continent. There was no place to move since the plane was full. I even took long visits to the bathroom just to get away from the screaming. I have carried earplugs on my flights since then... oh, well...
Are you sure that was a one year old and not me? I hate flying and my taxi driver who picked me up at O'hare spoke just enough English to make fun of me for being drunk. No, my eyes were red and swollen from crying all the way to the airport because I never flew by myself and was terrified!
Load More Replies...NTA. I remember trying to eat out in my son's first 2 years with a lot of anxiety. I preferred not to eat out in case there was issues, but when I I did, I made sure to have a plan B if my son had a tantrum. I held myself responsible for bad behaviors in public because it affects other people. I was very lucky that my son was very well behaved at that early age, but I still paused to consider contributing factors to an exception when planning on dining out. This period in time actually made me a better cook
NTA. If your children cannot behave in a sit-down restaurant, then you shouldn't be going anywhere but McDonalds with its play place.
As someone who works in retail the amount of times I'm like will that child shut up but I can't do anything cuz I'll get written up, the same probably goes for the waiters if enough people complained then maybe they could make a case of intervening however they have to consider their jobs. The woman who confronted them had nothing to lose so she was right to say something she wasn't aggressive or angry she just said can you take the child away.
NTA. The kid was shrieking for 10 minutes and it doesn't seem like the parents made any attempt to quiet the kid. I'd say the OP was more than patient for letting it go on for 10 minutes and these parents are the assholes.
You choose to have kids. You choose to take them into restaurants that aren't kid-and family targeted. You choose to permit them to shriek and behave badly without any consequence.
I have no kids and will admit I don't have as much patience as others. But I have also been a server and bar manager. The young lady should have discreetly asked to be moved to another table and if that wasn't an option have a manager speak to the parents. Back in the day of choice of smoking section we chose smoking when it was obvious there were a lot of kids. I cant understand why they haven't taught the hostess to seat people with kids away from a couple who is obviously dressed for dinner.
I think I was there. It was more like a minute of crying after some on an off. It was also pissing rain outside. I was waiting to see if the mom was going to murder this girl who implied she needed to learn how to parent better. The mother did not. The family left, but not early, only after they had finished their meals. From my perspective the girl came off as entitled and the mom came off as tired.
As I live in a noisy neighbourhood, I can handle a lot of noise, but crying kids are just painful, especially for 10 minutes. Yes, parenting is hard abd I was quite tge difficult kid too, but still
I have two friends with an autistic child.. he hate sounds too loud and we often go outside together because our kids behave well even if they are younger than him . Our two friend stopped going out with other friends with louds children because his son would be uncomfortable or anxious.. a child like this would have forced them to go out for not causing a crisis to the child (triggered by screams, loud noises, doesn't tolerate hearing crying), it is not a matter of annoyance, sometimes not managing your child can cause problems for children others..
People have no clue how much of a problem that is. I worked at a place where the owners autistic niece came in a couple hours a week to 'work'. She had extremely sensitive hearing. I actually got in a verbal fight with an obnoxious manager who thought it was funny to startle her by banging on our metal office door. I have tinnitus and very good hearing so high pitched noises hurt. We joke that I hear dog whistles. But I can take a deep breath and try to move on. Some autistic people can't or don't know how to speak up for themselves. There are plenty of places like Dave & Busters or McDonald's if your kids need to run, scream and eat. Please keep them out of any place that serves escargot! 😂
Load More Replies...I don't have kids and likely never will. So I do not understand how some parents can be so entitled. They chose to be parents so the kids are their responsibility. People may make concessions to aid them, here and there, but that should not be seen as a given. Otherwise these parents are just trashy role models that think getting knocked up entitles them to be special snowflakes.
If your child is shrieking, it is better for not only people around you, but even for the child, if you remove them from the situation. They may be overstimulated and need space to calm down.
This is the "no consequences" generations idea of parenting. It's all YOUR fault, not my childs.
Honestly, I am sick of these, Bored Panda. Entitled parents, keep your shrieking children at home.
Oh yes, the entitled parent and entitled child who think everyone should be subject to their tantrums. I don’t care if you have 12 children, if I’m in a restaurant, I do not want to hear the tantrums. Going out for some people is a special treat and some have to save money to be able to do that. If you cannot control your children, then you shouldn’t have any. Simple as that.
If you were at Chucky Cheese, it would've been out of line, maybe. Other than that, it was on the parents all the way.
parents: if you were dumb enough to have a child, realize your days of going out, having fun and living normal lives are over. stop ruining it for the rest of us
When I was a kid, if we didn't behave in the restaurant we left to go home and eat something boring. So we learned to behave. What is it with these parents without common sence?
Kids tantrum is bad for the parent. Don't make other people suffer for problem of your kids.
I'm mad just reading this, kids are kids if they're playing and making noise that's fine but 10 minutes of screaming, no no no no no.
I would say like "meh". I do understand the girl's point and i feel for the mom (i have 3 kids myself). I do believe children get to be children even in public (they ARE loud and messy but they are humans too and they need to learn) but if its a real tantrum and it goes on for 5 mins or so its time to leave. At that point it has reached the "point of no return" and it wont stop then and there. The kid is most likely overtired when that happens. And its just bad for everyone to stay in that case.
NTA, though probably should have asked the restaurant staff to intervene, which they should have done so without being prompted to anyways. I dont have kids and I try to give those that do the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their kids screaming and crying. But, as someone else commented, I'm sick of people thinking the world revolves around them because they s**t out a kid like literally billions of other people do. If you bring a baby to any public space and it disturbs other people, and after a reasonable amount of time they dont calm down then YOU SHOULD LEAVE. You don't take precedence over anyone else and, in fact, have less precedence than anyone else considering your situation is actively worsening everyone else's.
May be just me, but I think that the only place a 2 year should get taken out to eat is McDonald's or some place like that. Theyre going to have meltdowns. It part of being 2. But, even at 2 behavioral issues need to be addressed. Tantrums are not ok and if you keep it up we're leaving. A 2 year old can progressively understand that. However, it was the management's place to address the issue and in not doing so, well that says a lot right there and I wouldn't be back. I would have gone to the manager and spoken to them. In speaking to the parents they're doing so with official authority.
I sincerely doubt the waitstaff or management would touch talking with the parents with a ten foot pole. The poster states it was not a formal, fine dining establishment, which is about the only place they'd be willing to risk it.
Hell, sometimes I really wish people would do something when their kids start screaming in restaurants or other public areas. I still remember sitting near a family with multiple young children that were doing pretty much every awful thing that a small child could do in a restaurant (one that kept screaming, a few that were chasing each other around, another that was watching videos at a fairly loud volume with no headphones, etc) and the parents didn't do anything.
I have a 9 year old. When he was a baby/toddler and would have fits, my husband or I would take him outside to calm down. Often he had a need that wasn’t being met, and wasn’t verbal yet. We would return after or get our food to go. Our child’s issue (teething, etc) is not every else’s to deal with. It’s called being a responsible parent. Don’t be a d**k.
Absolutely having children us a conscious choice of the parents and that means you have to put up with screeching and all the other 'joys' of parenthood. It is NOT acceptable to make others put up with it so either shut them up, remove them or don't take them to such places. Simple as.
Do people not realize that at some point you have to be in public with a child? I mean yes it's courteous to take your child away and try to calm them down but as a single mother sometimes I have to leave the house and not spend 6 hours trying to pick up milk because I have to keep leaving the store.
As a teacher of young children for the last 32 years, I've learned that temper tantrums are not really the norm. Little ones who indulge in frequent temper tantrums usually do so because it gets them what they want. It's not to say that all children don't lose it on occasion. What I'm saying is that acting like the Mom does in this scenario allows them to think it's okay to kick off when they're unhappy. Parents don't have to be mean, just firm and consistent about not allowing children to be out of control. I think first adults need to help the child calm down, but if that little one is really being difficult, then consequences should follow. I know parents who have essentially said, "Okay, if you're going to act like this, we're going home and having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner." Kids can learn pretty quickly that they miss out on stuff if they just go off.
I remember going out to dinner with my family to nice restaurants. I can tell you, if either my brother or I acted like that, we'd be taken out to the car to calm down. I think that worked pretty well. I've never done it since, and I'm in my 50's.
NTA but also kind of TA. Its your right obviously to have a quiet meal in a restaurant but you should have taken it up with management instead of approaching the family directly. Nobody would take kindly or nicely to having another patron come at them with parenting tips or shaming. Its embarrassing and of course they would become defensive. Ahh to be young & childless again...come back around to this issue when you're in your 30's and have had your own children. You might have more compassion and sympathy then.
Total irresponsibility on the part of the Restaurant Management. As someone who suffers with Hyeracusis [thanks to an accident caused by a drunk driver] such action by children is not just an intrusion but an actual assault with battery as it can trigger a migraine episode. I take responsibility for my affliction by using industrial grade earplugs and noise cancelling devices when I am in public. It isn't too much of a stretch to ~expect~ parents to engage in responsible parenting when they bring their offspring into a public setting where a minimum amount of decorum is expected.
Take the dang crying kid OUTSIDE!!! Do everyone a favor and let them enjoy a peaceful meal!!!
You get similar situations in cinemas. If a child is unable to sit on their backside, keep quiet, and pay attention to the movie for its duration, then don't take them to the cinema.
Everyone saying it was the restaurant staff's responsibility to deal with this...uh. no, it wasn't. They aren't the police of politeness. They are servers and restaurant managers. It is no more their responsibility to handle the rude parents than it is anybody else's.
Because unfortunately some circles subscribe to a "bad mum" culture, where people celebrate being negligent parents and letting their children run feral in public and then ganging up on anyone who asks them to be more considerate. Not a joke. Constance Hall is a great example in Australia. A particularly public scenario with her involved essentially the same situation as this, but she also let her child run around and hit people and climb on furniture and fling food. Absolutely horrible behvaiour. But the response was very different - she and her blogger friends have so much influence that the person who spoke up was publically shamed and abused by even the news media, because of the new cultural idea that mothers cannot be criticised, ever, and that parenting is apparently so hard that alcoholism and negligence is celebrated. If you look at the (thankfully) downvoted comments lower in the thread, you will see this entitlement quite clearly.
Load More Replies...As a parent I took my children to "family restaurants" where the assumption is that there would be kids there, until I knew they were well behaved enough to go somewhere else. My oldest was really good, and adventurous with trying new foods, so by the time she was 7 we would take her to more "fancy" restaurants, and she loved the experience. "Can we go to one of the places with cloth napkins and no kids menu?" --- anyway I digress. Back when we were in family restaurants, if either of my kids started crying or whining or anything, I would immediately take them out to the parking lot until they calmed down. There was one time where I ended up calling my wife on her cell (texting was annoying in flip phone days)... and I told her "finish dinner and get mine as take-away... we aren't coming back in"
On the one hand 2 year old are noisy. They are still at an age where they are discovering the world and themselves so shouting/shrieking for no reason is one of the things they do. Having said that, parents need to realise that their sweet little angel is not always going to be tolerated and either teach them "inside voice" or takenthe kid outside so s/he can scream and release that energy away from other diners.
This story made me cringe when I read, “Me and my …” As far as I’m concerned, if you have no basic grasp of grammar, you don’t have any right to tell someone else what to do.
"you need to parent them better"??? With that sentence you made yourself the asshole.
It doesn't sound like the poster phrased her request in a very nice way. (What's with this 'i paid for my meal, nonsense. Of course, she did, everybody did), so while it is reasonable to expect parents ot take a shrieking toddle outside, I am going with ESH.
Yea you are girl. You’re an asshole and a big one with a lot of nerve. You’re young and you don’t know yet how hard it can be for a child to sit still in a restaurant. “Parent better” is a terrible and laughable comment on your end, but you know what I will let time show you. If and when you become a parent, hopefully you do everything right and live up to your own standards. Everything that goes around comes around, remember that.
Hmm... just remembered another factor I considered when I had small kids. 90% of the time that a small child has a meltdown is because they are tired or hungry. Seriously, that's the main contributor. We would schedule our activities around our kids naps. Grocery shopping? After a nap, and meal. Going to a restaurant? I guess we are having dinner at a weird hour, because that lines up with nap-time... and give the kid a good snack before we get there.
ESH. while i have taken my poorly behaving child out of restaurants, sometimes even before our food had come and had to request to have it to go, i'm not sure if i could agree with this person. why? because this is a very subjective view of the incident and, frankly, ten minutes of a shrieking kid is a long time. i am not denying that the child was screaming or that she was annoyed but that this may have not been exactly described. could the parents have been finishing up and preparing to go when she approached? could the child have been experiencing a sudden discomfort? also, i find it hard to believe that the parents would continue to eat while a child was screaming. and, finally, most - not all - parents are usually aware when their kid is melting down in a public place that this is annoying to others. so, in my opinion, she may have overreacted to the situation while at the same time the parents may have not responded to the situation as quickly as they should.
Sometimes children just cry... you can't control them or parent them better.Everyone has been a little human so far, and EVERYONE has cried in inappropriate situations. Just, don't hate children, maybe the parents are feeling ashame, and someone saying that they have to leave or be better parents, it's not helping at all...
I have been to restaurants with friends who have toddlers. The crying starts, the child goes. But my one friend started her kid out early and she was an angle (edit to say angel but she did sit with good posture so maybe an angle) in a restaurant. I even sat next to her at a wedding and she was well behaved. Yes, kids need to learn to eat in restaurants but that doesn't mean the rest of us should hear crying and screaming. Some of us only go out to dinner a couple times per year even pre pandemic! If your child might scream please go to some place more family friendly. Not a steak and seafood place.
Load More Replies...If you have a problem like this, you ask to speak to the manager and you direct them to the problem. You don't police the restaurant yourself. If you are a parent and your child starts screaming (and you have another parent with you to watch other children if you have them) you take the child outside until they have calmed down. You do not subject people to your screaming child in a public place. Ever.
Toddlers are going to act out in public. Its inevitable. NTA for approaching the parents, but it would've served you better to put the responsiblity for removing the noise to the restaraunt employees instead of confronting the parents. And holding them responsible for doing something about it. I mean what did you think the parents of a toddler screaming his head off were going to agree with you? Public confrontations never end well no matter who is at fault.
So many unknowns here. We weren't there. Was it 10 minutes? Was the child shrieking for no reason? Did the parents really not do anything about it? One person's perspective is wildly different from anothers. When my kids were toddlers, my husband and I would rarely go out for a meal (being skint) but when we did, we were on edge the whole time in case the kids made a noise, dropped something, spoke too loudly, etc. if someone had approached me like this I would probably have burst into tears. It's easy to say that the tot should have been taken outside, but that might have made the other kids make a scene, or made the tot even more hysterical. There are issues that, as bystanders, we have no idea about. Let's not even mention the possibility of autism/aspergers, etc. As parents we are often left out in the cold, shunned by respectable society who like kids to be seen and not heard. I would like to hear the parents' pov on this. Cause I bet there is so much more to this story.
None of this changes that if a child is screaming it needs to be taken outside. Period.
Load More Replies...Oh I LOVE childless youngsters to give me lessons about parenting 😎 I see problems on both sides - I only take kids to a restaurant 1.if they know how to behave (but it's ME, the parent, who has to teach them) 2.if there's a place for kids to play = they are welcome there...on the other hand the young lady is like "It's MY MONEY and you all has to should up a serve me..." like you can buy anything. Bit in general much ado about nothing 🤷🏻♀️ the young lady is a happy person if her biggest problem in her life is one crying baby in a restaurant 🙃
Oh I LOVE assholes with children to give me lessons about consideration. Because everyone knows that popping out a baby makes you the queen of the universe, and gives you the right to treat everyone around you like s**t, and expect everyone else to ask how high when you scream at them to jump. You are the happy person if the biggest problem in your life is complaining that strangers don't want to tolerate your entitled bullshit. 🙃
Load More Replies...Take it from me I had one child. Period! I knew being a mother was not for me. You cannot be the kids only care giver because you will loose your mind. My son had all grand parents alive! I left my husband after 5.5 years because he thought women should be subservient and he gave me the crabs. I told my MIL I wanted them to be in my sons life and she said "I pray for the day your son hurts as bad as you hurt my son." If I I never see xxxxx you won't step one foot on my property. Well bitch got her wish as my son shot him self from the rejection and survived. She buried her son at 52. Watch what you pray for!!!!! My parents never did one thing with my son either.
What did this r/thathappened story have to do with the article exactly?
Load More Replies...This person does come off as kind of an AH. Not for asking politely after 10 minutes of wailing (I'm sceptical about both these points) but little things like referring to the child as 'it'. Also, a 2-year-old had a meltdown "for no fathomable reason". They do that you know. And the only way to prevent that is bad parenting, not good parenting.
Yes, kids are unpredicatble, loud and difficult (I have kids). Therefore during these years you don't take them to restaurants where it is inappropriate to have unpredictable, loud and difficult people. You suck it up and go to McDonalds for the five years or so it takes for your toddlers to learn how to behave. Then you gradually introduce them to more grown up places, making sure they learn how to behave, until you can finally take your fully formed and delightfully behaved 18 year old to the Ivy.
Load More Replies...The screaming of a child can induce all kinds of stress in people that can put them off of food. It is the parents job to remove the child and take them to a quiet place to help them calm down. It's the only way a child is going to learn how to behave properly in a restaurant. I go out to dinner with my husband to get a break from my kids, not listen to someone else's screaming child fir 10+ minutes. I don't mind kids laughing and squealing or them yelling every so often. But I don't want to spend $20 a person and listen to a kid scream non stop.
Load More Replies...Children cry and scream about nothing all the time.
Load More Replies...Then the child should have been taken home or to the hospital if there was something "serious and legit" reason for the shrieking. Do you continue eating your pasta when somebody at your table is screaming in pain and fear?
Load More Replies...The person asking the parents to remove the screaming kid is the a**h**e? Because they aren't. Common courtesy is to remove the screaming child until they calmed down. I don't mind rambunctious children messing around in their booths/seats or talking to me. But I am going out to eat to have a peaceful dinner away from my own loud kids. Date nights are rare for my husband and I. I don't want to go drop $50/$60 dollars just to listen to a child scream for half of my meal. I could have stayed home and listened to my teens argue for free.
Load More Replies...The staff of the restaurant should have taken care of the problem. Since they obviously didn't want to do that, the girl was absolutely right to confront the parents. Other guests heard the shrieking child so there's no way that the staff wouldn't have noticed it. But I guess someone told them to ignore the noise because "the customer is always right".
You beat me to it Wil. And, why is this a question (NTA). It's normal if a terrible-2's tantrum is taken outside for a time out.
Load More Replies...NTA. I have kids myself and they don't just cry or tantrum, they have actual meltdowns. When my kids had those ear piercing screams, I would try everything I could to try and calm the situation. Then I would take them outside and if neither worked, then we left. There of course are exceptions but if no-one is at least trying to calm the child, then they are just inconsiderate assholes.
Sound very reasonable. Part of having kids is getting used to having your plans ruined and being able to handle it. I hope you never had to experience a childless 23 year old telling you to 'parent better' when your toddlers scream.
Load More Replies...This happened in a store. Woman enters with several kids and the youngest girl starts screaming. She wasn't in distress..she just liked the echo of her shrieks through the store. Every time the girl did it, I could hear people's hearing aids whistling as they quickly tried to turn them down. When we approached the mom, she says "Oh..she's just singing..." I said "Let her do it outside. Her 'singing' is setting off hearing aids and making it impossible for people to communicate with each other. Either that or get her to stop." The woman got pissed saying we were stifling her daughter's creativity. I repeated "Let her be creative outside!" The manager finally told her to leave. Apparently he didn't like her "singing" either.
When my son was one he loved the echoing of the grocery store, especially the frozen foods section. For months, every time we would go shopping he would start sing-screaming about his penis. I guess he was really proud of it or something? It was both hilarious and mortifying.
Load More Replies...Gratified to see that even parents don't think it's cool to let their screaming shitty brats bawl the house down and ruin life for everyone else. I grew up in an age where it was a goddam privilege be taken into a "place for grown ups" and you most certainly knew to be barely seen and not at all heard. Personally couldn't have that awkward conversation but totally respect those that do. Same as adults providing a running commentary at the theatre - shut the F**K up!!
I don’t think she did anything wrong. Part of the experience of dining out is the ambiance and if you’re dealing with a screaming child that part, that you paid for, is being slighted. I think parents tend to have a if I have to deal with it everyone has to mentality and I really hate that. No one asked you to have kids and it’s not the world’s problem because you did. If your kids can’t behave in public then maybe they shouldn’t be allowed out. Then again I’m one of those people who go out of the way to consider others and it seems people like myself are rare gems these days.
She is most definitely NTA here. Those suggesting she go through the restaurant employees or management are forgetting one thing. Employees won’t do anything to offend a customer, especially if they depend on tips. Management usually won’t do anything but appease and allow bad behavior to continue, because they’re out for money and want no bad word of mouth advertising. So yeah, she had to deal with it herself, as going through the restaurant wouldn’t have given her any satisfaction.
Not true. I specifically remember a TGIF that had my BF and I seated next to a center table of 6 with 3 kids. Of the approx 4 year olds were wandering and running. The wait staff was trying to dodge them. I asked to be moved or we were leaving. We were moved, got a couple free drinks and noticed the manager came out to speak to the parents. It was obvious why we moved so they gave us dirty looks but we just ignored them.
Load More Replies...Not the asshole. Children can be very disruptive, and a restaurant where people are enjoying their meals is not the place to ignore it. It is perfectly reasonable to request that the child be taken outside, especially since there were two parents at the table. If they weren't willing to do so, then they should have been asked to leave by management. This is a failure on the part of management. Kids will be kids, but there is a time and place for allowances. A restaurant that is not one primarily for children is not one of them.
Too young to really remember, but my mom said I was given a choice of sitting and eating with them or having my temper tantrum by myself out in the car (when you could still do things like that’). Seems I went with the car all of once, then decided to eat with them after that. I still have excellent restaurant manners, lol
With two parents there, they could have taken turns taking the kid outside. I watched that happen in a restaurant. In that situation, it took two or three trips outside for the child to calm down.
Load More Replies...If you don't want to take your obnoxious child outside but you want everyone to cater to you... then you should be paying for everyone's ruined dinner. Not the asshole. Ever. The staff should have taken care of it. But they weren't.... . So everyone should just endure the bullshit!? No. She had the balls to try to fix the problem. Everyone but her is in the wrong. I don't have kids mostly by choice.... so why should I have to listen to your when I'm paying for a fucken meal at a nice restaurant. Go somewhere kid friendly or be a good person and remove your human rooster.
Agreed, except even in a "kid-friendly" place, a child should not be left to just shriek for minutes and minutes. Other parents and little kids also don't want to hear that no matter where they are.
Load More Replies...My parents used to do this to us as kids if we acted up. We were taken to the car and we all had to sit there until we stfu. I plan on doing the same with my future child because it did teach me to behave in public. Plus, we were never taken to nicer places until we got a bit older for this same reason.
NTA!!! Like 1000% NTA. If this was an adult they would be asked to leave so why should other patrons have their experience ruined by another person? I completely understand that they are a child and are currently in the process of learning how to regulate their emotions, volume and just learning how to exist, but that does not excuses the parenta from dealing with the situation. Furthermore if the kid feels that this is the only way they can be heard it's because it has been reinforced by their parents actions. Kids have such a limited ability to communicate, so they will use what is most effective and using their instinctual logic if your not being heard you scream louder, so this is even more of a reflection on the parents being shitty parents because their child took the nuclear option because they knew no other option was available and it still didn't work.
There was a woman in a dept store letting her two under 5 kids run and scream and tear s**t up. The hub and I were commenting that our kids would never be allowed to behave that way and we walked out of that area. She confronted me in another aisle about what we said, asking if I did have kids and what she was supposed to do? Her kids needed shoes and they wouldn't cooperate. I told her yes, I did have kids and if they behaved like that we would have left the store and no one got new shoes that day. Oh well. She looked at me like I was nuts. Obviously the children were in charge. Oh, and she did not clean up their mess either.
So glad the tide of thought has changed bc I remember when this would have been YTA across the board. Sincerely, a mom of 4
NTA. Very tired of parents thinking the whole world has to move aside for their spawn. Why is it when people have kids, they start to think they're in their own Truman Show, and the world revolves around their family unit? Does having a kid make you forget there's a whole rest of the planet and it's other 7billion inhabitants who don't give a crap about your inability to use condoms?
I… might have told a table of adults that their vacation was going to become a lot less “happiest place on Earth” if they didn’t stop their 5 children from slamming their forks and spoons on every damn thing on the table (plates, glasses, napkin holders…) while singing Baby Shark. And while they’re at it, can they please give the one child that’s getting progressively louder some attention so she’ll stop screaming every random thought in her head in an effort to get a response? It had been a solid 20 minutes of 4 adults pretending they didn’t have kids. I was ready to stab either them or myself with a fork.
I have 2 kids. I can't tell you how many times I had to eat my food out of a to go box in the car because my kid was acting up in the restaurant and I took him out. Even while traveling, when we had no other option than to eat at a restaurant, if either of them are disruptive, one of us will remove them from the situation. If you stay, you're just setting them up for failure.
I don't have my own human offspring but I was a nanny for years. When a child would throw a fit in public, we immediately left. Not only to spare those around us, but so child learns there are consequences.
Thankfully quite a few of the pubs around here don't allow children under 12 in them and those are the pubs I usually eat at, especially as almost all of them are very dog friendly. There are few things I enjoy less than going out for meal and have parents let their children misbehave in the pub or restaurant. I certainly would not have been able to do it. My parents were very strict and made it clear that if we were going to adult places like pubs and restaurants, then we were to behave like adults. Their attitude was than in places like that children should be seen but not heard. I tend to agree with them. People would be very upset, and rightly so, if I allowed my dogs to run around and bark constantly, so why should it be any different for children.
I worked in a bar that unfortunately some people mistook for a place like Applebee's when we weren't busy. But we weren't allowed to turn away under 21 until @5pm because of lunch customers. (Subway style subs and microwave wings! Yum) So we would give "someone" money to play the jukebox. Limp bizkit Hot Dog and and Kid Rock F You Blind usually meant they wouldn't be back. Throw in some Nelly especially Batter Up because they heard The Jefferson's so they started listening! 🤬😂
Load More Replies...I can top this story... I was stuck on a full plane on a long flight back home on a very late Friday night. Most of the plane was full of exhausted businessmen like me. Sure enough, my luck was to get the seat next to a guy with a one year old kid. My sympathies go out to the child, because he was tired and unhappy too. He screamed like someone was pulling out his fingernails with pliers the entire trip across the continent. There was no place to move since the plane was full. I even took long visits to the bathroom just to get away from the screaming. I have carried earplugs on my flights since then... oh, well...
Are you sure that was a one year old and not me? I hate flying and my taxi driver who picked me up at O'hare spoke just enough English to make fun of me for being drunk. No, my eyes were red and swollen from crying all the way to the airport because I never flew by myself and was terrified!
Load More Replies...NTA. I remember trying to eat out in my son's first 2 years with a lot of anxiety. I preferred not to eat out in case there was issues, but when I I did, I made sure to have a plan B if my son had a tantrum. I held myself responsible for bad behaviors in public because it affects other people. I was very lucky that my son was very well behaved at that early age, but I still paused to consider contributing factors to an exception when planning on dining out. This period in time actually made me a better cook
NTA. If your children cannot behave in a sit-down restaurant, then you shouldn't be going anywhere but McDonalds with its play place.
As someone who works in retail the amount of times I'm like will that child shut up but I can't do anything cuz I'll get written up, the same probably goes for the waiters if enough people complained then maybe they could make a case of intervening however they have to consider their jobs. The woman who confronted them had nothing to lose so she was right to say something she wasn't aggressive or angry she just said can you take the child away.
NTA. The kid was shrieking for 10 minutes and it doesn't seem like the parents made any attempt to quiet the kid. I'd say the OP was more than patient for letting it go on for 10 minutes and these parents are the assholes.
You choose to have kids. You choose to take them into restaurants that aren't kid-and family targeted. You choose to permit them to shriek and behave badly without any consequence.
I have no kids and will admit I don't have as much patience as others. But I have also been a server and bar manager. The young lady should have discreetly asked to be moved to another table and if that wasn't an option have a manager speak to the parents. Back in the day of choice of smoking section we chose smoking when it was obvious there were a lot of kids. I cant understand why they haven't taught the hostess to seat people with kids away from a couple who is obviously dressed for dinner.
I think I was there. It was more like a minute of crying after some on an off. It was also pissing rain outside. I was waiting to see if the mom was going to murder this girl who implied she needed to learn how to parent better. The mother did not. The family left, but not early, only after they had finished their meals. From my perspective the girl came off as entitled and the mom came off as tired.
As I live in a noisy neighbourhood, I can handle a lot of noise, but crying kids are just painful, especially for 10 minutes. Yes, parenting is hard abd I was quite tge difficult kid too, but still
I have two friends with an autistic child.. he hate sounds too loud and we often go outside together because our kids behave well even if they are younger than him . Our two friend stopped going out with other friends with louds children because his son would be uncomfortable or anxious.. a child like this would have forced them to go out for not causing a crisis to the child (triggered by screams, loud noises, doesn't tolerate hearing crying), it is not a matter of annoyance, sometimes not managing your child can cause problems for children others..
People have no clue how much of a problem that is. I worked at a place where the owners autistic niece came in a couple hours a week to 'work'. She had extremely sensitive hearing. I actually got in a verbal fight with an obnoxious manager who thought it was funny to startle her by banging on our metal office door. I have tinnitus and very good hearing so high pitched noises hurt. We joke that I hear dog whistles. But I can take a deep breath and try to move on. Some autistic people can't or don't know how to speak up for themselves. There are plenty of places like Dave & Busters or McDonald's if your kids need to run, scream and eat. Please keep them out of any place that serves escargot! 😂
Load More Replies...I don't have kids and likely never will. So I do not understand how some parents can be so entitled. They chose to be parents so the kids are their responsibility. People may make concessions to aid them, here and there, but that should not be seen as a given. Otherwise these parents are just trashy role models that think getting knocked up entitles them to be special snowflakes.
If your child is shrieking, it is better for not only people around you, but even for the child, if you remove them from the situation. They may be overstimulated and need space to calm down.
This is the "no consequences" generations idea of parenting. It's all YOUR fault, not my childs.
Honestly, I am sick of these, Bored Panda. Entitled parents, keep your shrieking children at home.
Oh yes, the entitled parent and entitled child who think everyone should be subject to their tantrums. I don’t care if you have 12 children, if I’m in a restaurant, I do not want to hear the tantrums. Going out for some people is a special treat and some have to save money to be able to do that. If you cannot control your children, then you shouldn’t have any. Simple as that.
If you were at Chucky Cheese, it would've been out of line, maybe. Other than that, it was on the parents all the way.
parents: if you were dumb enough to have a child, realize your days of going out, having fun and living normal lives are over. stop ruining it for the rest of us
When I was a kid, if we didn't behave in the restaurant we left to go home and eat something boring. So we learned to behave. What is it with these parents without common sence?
Kids tantrum is bad for the parent. Don't make other people suffer for problem of your kids.
I'm mad just reading this, kids are kids if they're playing and making noise that's fine but 10 minutes of screaming, no no no no no.
I would say like "meh". I do understand the girl's point and i feel for the mom (i have 3 kids myself). I do believe children get to be children even in public (they ARE loud and messy but they are humans too and they need to learn) but if its a real tantrum and it goes on for 5 mins or so its time to leave. At that point it has reached the "point of no return" and it wont stop then and there. The kid is most likely overtired when that happens. And its just bad for everyone to stay in that case.
NTA, though probably should have asked the restaurant staff to intervene, which they should have done so without being prompted to anyways. I dont have kids and I try to give those that do the benefit of the doubt when it comes to their kids screaming and crying. But, as someone else commented, I'm sick of people thinking the world revolves around them because they s**t out a kid like literally billions of other people do. If you bring a baby to any public space and it disturbs other people, and after a reasonable amount of time they dont calm down then YOU SHOULD LEAVE. You don't take precedence over anyone else and, in fact, have less precedence than anyone else considering your situation is actively worsening everyone else's.
May be just me, but I think that the only place a 2 year should get taken out to eat is McDonald's or some place like that. Theyre going to have meltdowns. It part of being 2. But, even at 2 behavioral issues need to be addressed. Tantrums are not ok and if you keep it up we're leaving. A 2 year old can progressively understand that. However, it was the management's place to address the issue and in not doing so, well that says a lot right there and I wouldn't be back. I would have gone to the manager and spoken to them. In speaking to the parents they're doing so with official authority.
I sincerely doubt the waitstaff or management would touch talking with the parents with a ten foot pole. The poster states it was not a formal, fine dining establishment, which is about the only place they'd be willing to risk it.
Hell, sometimes I really wish people would do something when their kids start screaming in restaurants or other public areas. I still remember sitting near a family with multiple young children that were doing pretty much every awful thing that a small child could do in a restaurant (one that kept screaming, a few that were chasing each other around, another that was watching videos at a fairly loud volume with no headphones, etc) and the parents didn't do anything.
I have a 9 year old. When he was a baby/toddler and would have fits, my husband or I would take him outside to calm down. Often he had a need that wasn’t being met, and wasn’t verbal yet. We would return after or get our food to go. Our child’s issue (teething, etc) is not every else’s to deal with. It’s called being a responsible parent. Don’t be a d**k.
Absolutely having children us a conscious choice of the parents and that means you have to put up with screeching and all the other 'joys' of parenthood. It is NOT acceptable to make others put up with it so either shut them up, remove them or don't take them to such places. Simple as.
Do people not realize that at some point you have to be in public with a child? I mean yes it's courteous to take your child away and try to calm them down but as a single mother sometimes I have to leave the house and not spend 6 hours trying to pick up milk because I have to keep leaving the store.
As a teacher of young children for the last 32 years, I've learned that temper tantrums are not really the norm. Little ones who indulge in frequent temper tantrums usually do so because it gets them what they want. It's not to say that all children don't lose it on occasion. What I'm saying is that acting like the Mom does in this scenario allows them to think it's okay to kick off when they're unhappy. Parents don't have to be mean, just firm and consistent about not allowing children to be out of control. I think first adults need to help the child calm down, but if that little one is really being difficult, then consequences should follow. I know parents who have essentially said, "Okay, if you're going to act like this, we're going home and having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner." Kids can learn pretty quickly that they miss out on stuff if they just go off.
I remember going out to dinner with my family to nice restaurants. I can tell you, if either my brother or I acted like that, we'd be taken out to the car to calm down. I think that worked pretty well. I've never done it since, and I'm in my 50's.
NTA but also kind of TA. Its your right obviously to have a quiet meal in a restaurant but you should have taken it up with management instead of approaching the family directly. Nobody would take kindly or nicely to having another patron come at them with parenting tips or shaming. Its embarrassing and of course they would become defensive. Ahh to be young & childless again...come back around to this issue when you're in your 30's and have had your own children. You might have more compassion and sympathy then.
Total irresponsibility on the part of the Restaurant Management. As someone who suffers with Hyeracusis [thanks to an accident caused by a drunk driver] such action by children is not just an intrusion but an actual assault with battery as it can trigger a migraine episode. I take responsibility for my affliction by using industrial grade earplugs and noise cancelling devices when I am in public. It isn't too much of a stretch to ~expect~ parents to engage in responsible parenting when they bring their offspring into a public setting where a minimum amount of decorum is expected.
Take the dang crying kid OUTSIDE!!! Do everyone a favor and let them enjoy a peaceful meal!!!
You get similar situations in cinemas. If a child is unable to sit on their backside, keep quiet, and pay attention to the movie for its duration, then don't take them to the cinema.
Everyone saying it was the restaurant staff's responsibility to deal with this...uh. no, it wasn't. They aren't the police of politeness. They are servers and restaurant managers. It is no more their responsibility to handle the rude parents than it is anybody else's.
Because unfortunately some circles subscribe to a "bad mum" culture, where people celebrate being negligent parents and letting their children run feral in public and then ganging up on anyone who asks them to be more considerate. Not a joke. Constance Hall is a great example in Australia. A particularly public scenario with her involved essentially the same situation as this, but she also let her child run around and hit people and climb on furniture and fling food. Absolutely horrible behvaiour. But the response was very different - she and her blogger friends have so much influence that the person who spoke up was publically shamed and abused by even the news media, because of the new cultural idea that mothers cannot be criticised, ever, and that parenting is apparently so hard that alcoholism and negligence is celebrated. If you look at the (thankfully) downvoted comments lower in the thread, you will see this entitlement quite clearly.
Load More Replies...As a parent I took my children to "family restaurants" where the assumption is that there would be kids there, until I knew they were well behaved enough to go somewhere else. My oldest was really good, and adventurous with trying new foods, so by the time she was 7 we would take her to more "fancy" restaurants, and she loved the experience. "Can we go to one of the places with cloth napkins and no kids menu?" --- anyway I digress. Back when we were in family restaurants, if either of my kids started crying or whining or anything, I would immediately take them out to the parking lot until they calmed down. There was one time where I ended up calling my wife on her cell (texting was annoying in flip phone days)... and I told her "finish dinner and get mine as take-away... we aren't coming back in"
On the one hand 2 year old are noisy. They are still at an age where they are discovering the world and themselves so shouting/shrieking for no reason is one of the things they do. Having said that, parents need to realise that their sweet little angel is not always going to be tolerated and either teach them "inside voice" or takenthe kid outside so s/he can scream and release that energy away from other diners.
This story made me cringe when I read, “Me and my …” As far as I’m concerned, if you have no basic grasp of grammar, you don’t have any right to tell someone else what to do.
"you need to parent them better"??? With that sentence you made yourself the asshole.
It doesn't sound like the poster phrased her request in a very nice way. (What's with this 'i paid for my meal, nonsense. Of course, she did, everybody did), so while it is reasonable to expect parents ot take a shrieking toddle outside, I am going with ESH.
Yea you are girl. You’re an asshole and a big one with a lot of nerve. You’re young and you don’t know yet how hard it can be for a child to sit still in a restaurant. “Parent better” is a terrible and laughable comment on your end, but you know what I will let time show you. If and when you become a parent, hopefully you do everything right and live up to your own standards. Everything that goes around comes around, remember that.
Hmm... just remembered another factor I considered when I had small kids. 90% of the time that a small child has a meltdown is because they are tired or hungry. Seriously, that's the main contributor. We would schedule our activities around our kids naps. Grocery shopping? After a nap, and meal. Going to a restaurant? I guess we are having dinner at a weird hour, because that lines up with nap-time... and give the kid a good snack before we get there.
ESH. while i have taken my poorly behaving child out of restaurants, sometimes even before our food had come and had to request to have it to go, i'm not sure if i could agree with this person. why? because this is a very subjective view of the incident and, frankly, ten minutes of a shrieking kid is a long time. i am not denying that the child was screaming or that she was annoyed but that this may have not been exactly described. could the parents have been finishing up and preparing to go when she approached? could the child have been experiencing a sudden discomfort? also, i find it hard to believe that the parents would continue to eat while a child was screaming. and, finally, most - not all - parents are usually aware when their kid is melting down in a public place that this is annoying to others. so, in my opinion, she may have overreacted to the situation while at the same time the parents may have not responded to the situation as quickly as they should.
Sometimes children just cry... you can't control them or parent them better.Everyone has been a little human so far, and EVERYONE has cried in inappropriate situations. Just, don't hate children, maybe the parents are feeling ashame, and someone saying that they have to leave or be better parents, it's not helping at all...
I have been to restaurants with friends who have toddlers. The crying starts, the child goes. But my one friend started her kid out early and she was an angle (edit to say angel but she did sit with good posture so maybe an angle) in a restaurant. I even sat next to her at a wedding and she was well behaved. Yes, kids need to learn to eat in restaurants but that doesn't mean the rest of us should hear crying and screaming. Some of us only go out to dinner a couple times per year even pre pandemic! If your child might scream please go to some place more family friendly. Not a steak and seafood place.
Load More Replies...If you have a problem like this, you ask to speak to the manager and you direct them to the problem. You don't police the restaurant yourself. If you are a parent and your child starts screaming (and you have another parent with you to watch other children if you have them) you take the child outside until they have calmed down. You do not subject people to your screaming child in a public place. Ever.
Toddlers are going to act out in public. Its inevitable. NTA for approaching the parents, but it would've served you better to put the responsiblity for removing the noise to the restaraunt employees instead of confronting the parents. And holding them responsible for doing something about it. I mean what did you think the parents of a toddler screaming his head off were going to agree with you? Public confrontations never end well no matter who is at fault.
So many unknowns here. We weren't there. Was it 10 minutes? Was the child shrieking for no reason? Did the parents really not do anything about it? One person's perspective is wildly different from anothers. When my kids were toddlers, my husband and I would rarely go out for a meal (being skint) but when we did, we were on edge the whole time in case the kids made a noise, dropped something, spoke too loudly, etc. if someone had approached me like this I would probably have burst into tears. It's easy to say that the tot should have been taken outside, but that might have made the other kids make a scene, or made the tot even more hysterical. There are issues that, as bystanders, we have no idea about. Let's not even mention the possibility of autism/aspergers, etc. As parents we are often left out in the cold, shunned by respectable society who like kids to be seen and not heard. I would like to hear the parents' pov on this. Cause I bet there is so much more to this story.
None of this changes that if a child is screaming it needs to be taken outside. Period.
Load More Replies...Oh I LOVE childless youngsters to give me lessons about parenting 😎 I see problems on both sides - I only take kids to a restaurant 1.if they know how to behave (but it's ME, the parent, who has to teach them) 2.if there's a place for kids to play = they are welcome there...on the other hand the young lady is like "It's MY MONEY and you all has to should up a serve me..." like you can buy anything. Bit in general much ado about nothing 🤷🏻♀️ the young lady is a happy person if her biggest problem in her life is one crying baby in a restaurant 🙃
Oh I LOVE assholes with children to give me lessons about consideration. Because everyone knows that popping out a baby makes you the queen of the universe, and gives you the right to treat everyone around you like s**t, and expect everyone else to ask how high when you scream at them to jump. You are the happy person if the biggest problem in your life is complaining that strangers don't want to tolerate your entitled bullshit. 🙃
Load More Replies...Take it from me I had one child. Period! I knew being a mother was not for me. You cannot be the kids only care giver because you will loose your mind. My son had all grand parents alive! I left my husband after 5.5 years because he thought women should be subservient and he gave me the crabs. I told my MIL I wanted them to be in my sons life and she said "I pray for the day your son hurts as bad as you hurt my son." If I I never see xxxxx you won't step one foot on my property. Well bitch got her wish as my son shot him self from the rejection and survived. She buried her son at 52. Watch what you pray for!!!!! My parents never did one thing with my son either.
What did this r/thathappened story have to do with the article exactly?
Load More Replies...This person does come off as kind of an AH. Not for asking politely after 10 minutes of wailing (I'm sceptical about both these points) but little things like referring to the child as 'it'. Also, a 2-year-old had a meltdown "for no fathomable reason". They do that you know. And the only way to prevent that is bad parenting, not good parenting.
Yes, kids are unpredicatble, loud and difficult (I have kids). Therefore during these years you don't take them to restaurants where it is inappropriate to have unpredictable, loud and difficult people. You suck it up and go to McDonalds for the five years or so it takes for your toddlers to learn how to behave. Then you gradually introduce them to more grown up places, making sure they learn how to behave, until you can finally take your fully formed and delightfully behaved 18 year old to the Ivy.
Load More Replies...The screaming of a child can induce all kinds of stress in people that can put them off of food. It is the parents job to remove the child and take them to a quiet place to help them calm down. It's the only way a child is going to learn how to behave properly in a restaurant. I go out to dinner with my husband to get a break from my kids, not listen to someone else's screaming child fir 10+ minutes. I don't mind kids laughing and squealing or them yelling every so often. But I don't want to spend $20 a person and listen to a kid scream non stop.
Load More Replies...Children cry and scream about nothing all the time.
Load More Replies...Then the child should have been taken home or to the hospital if there was something "serious and legit" reason for the shrieking. Do you continue eating your pasta when somebody at your table is screaming in pain and fear?
Load More Replies...The person asking the parents to remove the screaming kid is the a**h**e? Because they aren't. Common courtesy is to remove the screaming child until they calmed down. I don't mind rambunctious children messing around in their booths/seats or talking to me. But I am going out to eat to have a peaceful dinner away from my own loud kids. Date nights are rare for my husband and I. I don't want to go drop $50/$60 dollars just to listen to a child scream for half of my meal. I could have stayed home and listened to my teens argue for free.
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