“I Can Nap Whenever I Want”: A Woman Wonders If She Is In The Wrong For Constantly Napping After Work
Some days, we come home from work or studying and our deepest, most intense desire is to literally collapse into bed and sleep. And the cool thing about being an adult is that you can just do that. But sometimes the responsibilities and pressures of life all intervene to ruin some hard-earned sleep.
A woman wanted to know if she was really in the wrong for constantly napping after work. Despite doing her share of the chores, and never sleeping more than two or three times a week, her husband seemed to believe that she absolutely needed to be doing something else during this time.
Napping regularly can eat into your time, but isn’t really a vice
Image credits: Jep Gambardella (not the actual photo)
A woman shared her experience with a husband who was deeply opposed to her frequent naps
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Justtellmeno
Naps are actually surprisingly good for us
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Fundamentally, there is nothing wrong with what OP is doing. First and foremost, she is an adult, who has completed the duties she is responsible for. Despite her own original title in the post, she doesn’t even sleep every day, nor “constantly” and seems to be awake whenever the husband is home, so he can’t even complain about them not spending time together. It’s worth reiterating that she is a teacher, which also means she is on her feet for a significant amount of time, so a desire to nap after standing and socializing all day seems quite understandable. In contrast, her husband’s desire to control what she does in her free time is suspect, particularly when he thinks it should be used productively. Personally, after doing a day’s work and then some chores, I would be disinclined to keep “working” on myself.
Not only that, naps aren’t just a waste of time, they have real, measurable restorative effects. One study found that just 60 to 90 minutes of napping were more effective than caffeine at maintaining a person’s memory and cognitive abilities. Teaching is a job that, obviously, requires a lot of mental fortitude, and memory, so OP’s habit might actually be important for her mental and physical health in the long run. Regular naps are also associated with improvements in learning, which would be pretty important for any of the self-improvement her husband seems to believe that she needs. In some cases, napping actually helps a person sleep better at night, which is pretty vital for general health and one’s ability to work.
Always being “productive” is just a surefire way to end up burnt out
Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)
Of course, the real issue is that her husband wants her to do something “productive,” despite her own wishes. Setting aside this being a pretty controlling request, OP notes that this feels a lot like toxic productivity. Yes, a new skill, language, or hobby is always good, but a person can simply be too busy. This isn’t just called “toxic” productivity for fun, it can be literally bad for your physical and mental health. There is only so much a person can learn in a day, once you go over that limit, you are just wasting time. Even worse, this sort of overworking can and will lead to burnout, which can disrupt a career and lead to depression. These are not worthwhile risks for a person in a stable job, with a prosperous family and who isn’t actually negatively affecting their own life by not “being productive.” So just let the woman nap.
Many readers felt like they needed more details and OP provided
But in general, most believed she was well within her rights to sleep when she pleased
Others shared similar experiences with controlling people
So I'd never heard of thalassemia before and I looked it up "Thalassemia (thal-uh-SEE-me-uh) is an inherited blood disorder that causes your body to have less hemoglobin than normal. Hemoglobin enables red blood cells to carry oxygen. Thalassemia can cause anemia, leaving you fatigued." She literally has a genetic disorder that leaves her fatigued and he's harping on her for napping.
She also has endometriosis which can get very painful, chronic pain zaps your energy so even if you don't actually sleep you need the downtime to recharge.
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My, probably oversimplified, view is that here is a man who tries to force his own view of life (be productive or be damned) on someone whom he is supposed to support and thus shows no respect for her take on things. This "being productive" thing is pernicious: we are not machines, meant to work all the time every time. I am always a little bit suspicious of people that feel they have to be "productive", whatever that actually means, all of the time. My gut feeling is that "being productive" is a means of escape from something you're unwilling to confront.
Definitely. I've always found that this kind of people have either zero other interests, like literally no hobbies, no close friends, no passions, or they have a terrible life at home. So spending time with their family is so horrible that they are willing to basically live at their dayjob or find something to do at home, like working in the garage for hours, mowing the lawn, etc... I've had several examples in my extended family. All raised with the mentality of "you better work", "work is honorable", "duty before pleasure", and pretty much all workaholics. Some work so much simply because they have literally no other interests, not even watching tv; some others because they just don't like to be at home with their family. It's as simple as that.
Load More Replies... Napping doesn't automatically mean laziness, and there is nothing wrong with it unless napping causes insomnia at night. Also, not everyone has the same sleep needs. I have an illness that causes chronic fatigue, so I really feel for this woman. This man is literally being unintentionally cruel to her since she can't help feeling tired, simply because he was raised with a rigid mindset. He needs to realize that the fact that her napping bothers him is his responsibility to deal with. She isn't the cause of his upset, his thinking is. I hope he would be willing to go to therapy.
So I'd never heard of thalassemia before and I looked it up "Thalassemia (thal-uh-SEE-me-uh) is an inherited blood disorder that causes your body to have less hemoglobin than normal. Hemoglobin enables red blood cells to carry oxygen. Thalassemia can cause anemia, leaving you fatigued." She literally has a genetic disorder that leaves her fatigued and he's harping on her for napping.
She also has endometriosis which can get very painful, chronic pain zaps your energy so even if you don't actually sleep you need the downtime to recharge.
Load More Replies... My, probably oversimplified, view is that here is a man who tries to force his own view of life (be productive or be damned) on someone whom he is supposed to support and thus shows no respect for her take on things. This "being productive" thing is pernicious: we are not machines, meant to work all the time every time. I am always a little bit suspicious of people that feel they have to be "productive", whatever that actually means, all of the time. My gut feeling is that "being productive" is a means of escape from something you're unwilling to confront.
Definitely. I've always found that this kind of people have either zero other interests, like literally no hobbies, no close friends, no passions, or they have a terrible life at home. So spending time with their family is so horrible that they are willing to basically live at their dayjob or find something to do at home, like working in the garage for hours, mowing the lawn, etc... I've had several examples in my extended family. All raised with the mentality of "you better work", "work is honorable", "duty before pleasure", and pretty much all workaholics. Some work so much simply because they have literally no other interests, not even watching tv; some others because they just don't like to be at home with their family. It's as simple as that.
Load More Replies... Napping doesn't automatically mean laziness, and there is nothing wrong with it unless napping causes insomnia at night. Also, not everyone has the same sleep needs. I have an illness that causes chronic fatigue, so I really feel for this woman. This man is literally being unintentionally cruel to her since she can't help feeling tired, simply because he was raised with a rigid mindset. He needs to realize that the fact that her napping bothers him is his responsibility to deal with. She isn't the cause of his upset, his thinking is. I hope he would be willing to go to therapy.
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