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Dad Questions Wife’s ‘Feminist’ Values After She Gives Horrifying Dating Advice To Their Teen Daughter
Parents need to agree on core values so that children get a clear message about what their family stands for and against.
For father and Reddit user lost-my-mind-in-LA and his wife, a big part of that had been gender equality—or at least he thought so.
The man uploaded a candid confession to the platform, explaining that he was shocked to learn that she was teaching their teenage daughter to use her boyfriend as a personal ATM.
RELATED:
This father was fond of his daughter’s boyfriend, and though he was a kind kid
Image credits: Edu Bastidas (not the actual photo)
But his wife saw him as an opportunity to teach the girl how to take advantage of boys financially
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
Image source: lost-my-mind-in-la
Many parents are worried about their children’s financial future
The mother’s actions might reflect a deeper worry. A survey from U.S. Bank found that nearly 1 in 4 parents and more than half of Gen X parents worry their children will be financially dependent on them well into adulthood.
However, the results also showed that mothers are less likely to discuss investing in stocks and bonds with their kids than fathers (35% of women vs. 51% of men).
And manipulating others into supporting you might not be the most lucrative career.
Most couples, however, agree on big money questions
Image credits: Getty Images (not the actual photo)
An Ipsos poll conducted on behalf of BMO revealed that one in three (34%) partnered Americans view money as a source of conflict in their relationship.
More than one-third think their partner spends too much money on impulse purchases (37%) and/or admit they are untruthful about money with their spouse (36%).
But big fights over finances when you’re already married and have kids are pretty rare. Despite the occasional argument, the vast majority (84%) of American couples are on the same page with their partner when it comes to finances, with almost nine in ten (87%) indicating that they are comfortable discussing finances with their partner, emphasizing open communication.
This might be because we tend to vet our potential partners pretty quickly. Four in five (79%) Americans think finances should be discussed somewhat early in the relationship – one in ten (9%) think this should happen after the first few dates, two in five (39%) when the relationship becomes official, and about one in three (31%) when the couple is planning on living together.
So it’s interesting that our Redditor and his wife — who, at least according to him, see the world eye to eye — have gotten into such a deep disagreement.
However, instead of attaching derogatory labels to one another, the couple should try to understand each other and engage more than, say, the internet.
“Whether they face a sudden financial hiccup or experience issues related to intimacy, mentally strong couples address their problems head-on,” psychotherapist Amy Morin, LCSW, writes.
“They engage in difficult conversations and confront their issues, regardless of the discomfort it might bring. By working together to find solutions early on, they prevent their problems from escalating.”
People who read the father’s story were just as appalled by his wife’s behavior as he was
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What do you think ?
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
"girls will be girls" is as harmful as "boys will be boys" to building a good relationship. I'd question my marriage to anyone who was setting my daughter up to have an unhealthy first relationship. If you start out with bad habits, it's all the harder to learn the good ones that are required for a good foundation.
roddy 1 month ago
If she really enjoys his company, she'd be happy to pay her own way. But if she is just dating him for free meals and gifts, this is grifting. Not a good look or a healthy way to relate. She'll end up hunting a rich man to marry, just for the nice house and car.
Load More Replies...
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
Not cool, mom. Teaching your child emotional blackmail is really not cool.
Argle Bargle 1 month ago
"Sorry honey, Daddy has to leave because he's just become aware that you and mommy think I'm nothing more than an ATM. No, you can't come and see me"
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago (edited)
I don't think I'd be giving up my daughter so quickly. But I do think she needs a swift kick in the a*s. If I was her dad I probably would tell the boy that his daughter is bragging about using him as an ATM. I'd definitely tell the wife that if a girl is "entitled" to their partners money, than he will feel "entitled" to her body. If she is trading affection for money, then she is a prostitute, and that's a business relationship, not a personal relationship. There's nothing wrong with being a s*x worker, but I doubt that's what her parents want for her future.
Load More Replies...
Sylvain 1 month ago
It's a good lesson - for the poor boy, getting exploited this early will let him know how to recognize gold diggers in the future. Your daughter is becoming the example for many guys in the future to learn to avoid.
roddy 1 month ago
He'll have plenty of heartbreaks in life, finding out your first love was only into you for your wallet doesn't need to be one of them. And an early experience with a user could just turn him into one of those Tate-fueled misogynists we see so much of lately.
Load More Replies...
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 1 month ago
When my son was in high school My ex-wife was turning our son into an atm. for his girlfriend. She (my ex) would have him take anywhere from $50 to $150 when he went out with his "girlfriend" and told him to pay for everything. Turns out there was usually another couple of friends along for the ride. Little backstory my son is very high functioning autistic (had a job and drivers license he mostly has issues with social interactions) he is very outgoing and has lots of friends. I found out after he asked to borrow some money, when I asked what happened to his (I knew he should have a fair amount because he was saving for a big tv) he told where it all went. I sat and discussed the whole thing with him and we agreed he would be able to take just enough for himself and his girl to see a movie and a few snacks. Sure enough she stopped going out with him after a few times because he was no longer buying everything. He was upset at first but got over it when he figured out he was being u
Roberta Surprenant 1 month ago
So mom wants daughter to be gold digger or escort service? Quid pro quo and all that. Hope it is ragebait.
Iberia Cooley 1 month ago
I had an ex that paid for everything but again, I did not ask him to, it was his choice
Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
That's different... Offering to pay versus being blackmailed into paying. I'll offer to "treat" someone to dinner with the expectation I pay for the meal. Otherwise I expect a SO/friend to contribute...
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
I was in high school in the ‘70s, but a young adult in the ‘80s. I knew girls who would “date for dinner”, basically only accept a date with a man they weren’t the least bit interested in just for the free meal. I was just starting out and struggling the same as they were, and it was tempting, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lead on and use someone who liked me in any way, especially not for food. Then of course there would be the inevitable request to “pay me back for the food”, of you know what I mean. I’m not a transactional person. That is not, never has been, and never will be, my personality. What made it worse was that neither they nor I were exactly starving—-we may not have been eating steak every night, but we were eating enough not to go hungry, so accepting a date, not because you liked them but just to scrounge a meal out of someone, was and still is really low and mean in my opinion. Besides, you need the wardrobe and all the other stuff to go with it, just to carry it off, so it actually costs you way more money than you’d save for the occasional free meal you’d get. It’s a stupid system, and one I thought had died long ago. Ah, but we have people trying to yank us back to the Stone Age, or at least the 1950s, so of course this b******t would inevitably rear its ugly head once again. The s****y behavior being not only condoned but applauded these days is a disgrace, and in the near future those practicing it will be embarrassed and regretful they ever did it—-if they have functioning brain cells and are at all self-aware, that is. Unfortunately, a growing number possess neither, so will probably exhibit such behavior til the day they die. Please let us not turn them into role models, and treat them as social pariahs instead, OK?
Load More Replies...
TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 1 month ago
Just.... no. It isn't much different that a guy expecting a woman to put out since he pays
monsieur mabel 1 month ago
...wife is angry and petulant because she knows hubby is assessing the situation correctly.....daughter gonna learn some hard lessons if she keeps treating the young man so poorly.....sad....
Crystalwitch60 1 month ago
Hell to the no ,that girl is turning in to a spoilt demanding little brat ! as taught by an idiot mother , well done dad for speaking up , n that poor lad to , would have loved an update tho
Madeline Lewis 1 month ago
really if someone is paying your bills and you owe for s*x just laughing on this. I think they should have to reconsider their relationship whether they are loyal to each other.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Mom sounds like a nightmare. Bet he's rethinking their relationship now.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
"girls will be girls" is as harmful as "boys will be boys" to building a good relationship. I'd question my marriage to anyone who was setting my daughter up to have an unhealthy first relationship. If you start out with bad habits, it's all the harder to learn the good ones that are required for a good foundation.
roddy 1 month ago
If she really enjoys his company, she'd be happy to pay her own way. But if she is just dating him for free meals and gifts, this is grifting. Not a good look or a healthy way to relate. She'll end up hunting a rich man to marry, just for the nice house and car.
Load More Replies... KatSaidThat 1 month ago
Not cool, mom. Teaching your child emotional blackmail is really not cool.
Argle Bargle 1 month ago
"Sorry honey, Daddy has to leave because he's just become aware that you and mommy think I'm nothing more than an ATM. No, you can't come and see me"
BeesEelsAndPups 1 month ago (edited)
I don't think I'd be giving up my daughter so quickly. But I do think she needs a swift kick in the a*s. If I was her dad I probably would tell the boy that his daughter is bragging about using him as an ATM. I'd definitely tell the wife that if a girl is "entitled" to their partners money, than he will feel "entitled" to her body. If she is trading affection for money, then she is a prostitute, and that's a business relationship, not a personal relationship. There's nothing wrong with being a s*x worker, but I doubt that's what her parents want for her future.
Load More Replies... Sylvain 1 month ago
It's a good lesson - for the poor boy, getting exploited this early will let him know how to recognize gold diggers in the future. Your daughter is becoming the example for many guys in the future to learn to avoid.
roddy 1 month ago
He'll have plenty of heartbreaks in life, finding out your first love was only into you for your wallet doesn't need to be one of them. And an early experience with a user could just turn him into one of those Tate-fueled misogynists we see so much of lately.
Load More Replies... UncleJon_TheMadScientist 1 month ago
When my son was in high school My ex-wife was turning our son into an atm. for his girlfriend. She (my ex) would have him take anywhere from $50 to $150 when he went out with his "girlfriend" and told him to pay for everything. Turns out there was usually another couple of friends along for the ride. Little backstory my son is very high functioning autistic (had a job and drivers license he mostly has issues with social interactions) he is very outgoing and has lots of friends. I found out after he asked to borrow some money, when I asked what happened to his (I knew he should have a fair amount because he was saving for a big tv) he told where it all went. I sat and discussed the whole thing with him and we agreed he would be able to take just enough for himself and his girl to see a movie and a few snacks. Sure enough she stopped going out with him after a few times because he was no longer buying everything. He was upset at first but got over it when he figured out he was being u
Roberta Surprenant 1 month ago
So mom wants daughter to be gold digger or escort service? Quid pro quo and all that. Hope it is ragebait.
Iberia Cooley 1 month ago
I had an ex that paid for everything but again, I did not ask him to, it was his choice
Oskar vanZandt 1 month ago
That's different... Offering to pay versus being blackmailed into paying. I'll offer to "treat" someone to dinner with the expectation I pay for the meal. Otherwise I expect a SO/friend to contribute...
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 month ago (edited)
I was in high school in the ‘70s, but a young adult in the ‘80s. I knew girls who would “date for dinner”, basically only accept a date with a man they weren’t the least bit interested in just for the free meal. I was just starting out and struggling the same as they were, and it was tempting, but I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lead on and use someone who liked me in any way, especially not for food. Then of course there would be the inevitable request to “pay me back for the food”, of you know what I mean. I’m not a transactional person. That is not, never has been, and never will be, my personality. What made it worse was that neither they nor I were exactly starving—-we may not have been eating steak every night, but we were eating enough not to go hungry, so accepting a date, not because you liked them but just to scrounge a meal out of someone, was and still is really low and mean in my opinion. Besides, you need the wardrobe and all the other stuff to go with it, just to carry it off, so it actually costs you way more money than you’d save for the occasional free meal you’d get. It’s a stupid system, and one I thought had died long ago. Ah, but we have people trying to yank us back to the Stone Age, or at least the 1950s, so of course this b******t would inevitably rear its ugly head once again. The s****y behavior being not only condoned but applauded these days is a disgrace, and in the near future those practicing it will be embarrassed and regretful they ever did it—-if they have functioning brain cells and are at all self-aware, that is. Unfortunately, a growing number possess neither, so will probably exhibit such behavior til the day they die. Please let us not turn them into role models, and treat them as social pariahs instead, OK?
Load More Replies... TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 1 month ago
Just.... no. It isn't much different that a guy expecting a woman to put out since he pays
monsieur mabel 1 month ago
...wife is angry and petulant because she knows hubby is assessing the situation correctly.....daughter gonna learn some hard lessons if she keeps treating the young man so poorly.....sad....
Crystalwitch60 1 month ago
Hell to the no ,that girl is turning in to a spoilt demanding little brat ! as taught by an idiot mother , well done dad for speaking up , n that poor lad to , would have loved an update tho
Madeline Lewis 1 month ago
really if someone is paying your bills and you owe for s*x just laughing on this. I think they should have to reconsider their relationship whether they are loyal to each other.
Kate Johnson 1 month ago
Mom sounds like a nightmare. Bet he's rethinking their relationship now.
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