Nearly 200K People Are Here For This Thread Explaining Why We Don’t See Kids Playing Outside As Often As We Used To
Remember the good old days when you and a bunch of your friends would get together and go hang out outside somewhere, whether it was in your back yard or the mall or any other available location?
And then you grew up and noticed how that doesn’t seem to be a thing any more—you don’t really see that happening with the younger generations. Seemingly.
And then you begin assuming how this is a result of things like the internet and social media, and then the internet (well, Tumblr, actually) points out that there’s a whole different underlying reason behind it that makes everyone stop for a moment and rethink the younger generation’s social life.
More Info: Tumblr
Ever noticed how kids playing outside seems like a rarer occasion nowadays?
Image credits: Mitchell Jorstad
So, it all started with a tweet by architect Mitchell Jorstad, who wittily captioned a picture of a kid walking down the median strip of a busy street—if you can even call it a median as it’s also effectively in use and that means there ain’t much space to walk on.
The tweet read “older folks: ‘why don’t kids go outside anymore?’“, and a very appropriate caption “the outside they built:” followed with the above mentioned picture.
A tweet wittily pointing this out went viral and found itself on Tumblr where people discussed it in detail
Image credits: headspace-hotel
Image credits: enchantingcoffeenightmare
And while this is a pretty clever way of bringing the point across, it didn’t stop there as the tweet—besides blowing up on Twitter—also found its way into a now-viral Tumblr thread that elaborated on the whole ‘why can’t I see kids playing’ issue one step at a time.
This led to a string of explanations of how we got to this point, with user enchantingcoffeenightmare first sharing a screencap of a Facebook post that briefly sums up how everywhere became either forbidden, eliminated or simply too much of a luxury for kids to hang out there.
Most agreed that being outside for kids became a bit of a ‘social taboo’ because grown ups ruined it
Image credits: binch-worm
Image credits: berkleymews
Then there was the story by binch-worm how she was homeless as a kid and would often spend countless hours in the library reading books, until someone caught on and demanded that she and her brother quit “loitering” there, so they were eventually limited to an hour per day. Homeless kids, quietly reading the whole day just to avoid the cold outside. Loitering. [sigh]
But among the discussions, one explanation came out as the definitive reason for why this is a thing
Image credits: tacofrend
Anywho, some pictures, comics, and comments later, a user by the nickname of tacofrend said academics have already considered the issue of how just existing in public places is sometimes reacted to with hostility and punishment, pointing to author Gretchen McCulloch, who said they actually want to spend time outside doing social things, but they can’t because there isn’t a place to exist without being scrutinized for it.
Well, Gretchen McCulloch entered the chat to elaborate on several key things, quoting what she wrote in her book Because Internet.
This one writer explained that kids want to go outside, just that many public places became ‘hostile’
Image credits: allthingslingustic
Image credits: allthingslinguistic
Kids want to hang out with friends outside and in person, but these are made difficult because of things like suburban isolation, mall ‘hostility,’ and things like borderline overbooked schedules full of extracurricular activities that don’t really allow true freedom of having fun.
And this isn’t indicative of what they’ll be doing in a decade as the previous generation used to spend hours on phones and in malls and whatnot, but they eventually became adults who got more freedom to do things without parental permission—and this was the key.
Image credits: allthingslinguistic
The reason why they prefer online is because meeting someone physically entails less freedom, more “scheduling,” control and surveillance from parents or guardians so as to keep them safe (this is further explained in her citation of the book that elaborated on it). Whereas online, where there are no parents and any of the above, it’s more fun.
Image credits: allthingslinguistic
The thread received quite a bit of attention, with the original tweet gaining over 103,500 likes and kicking off a discussion on Twitter. It soon appeared on Tumblr, spawning an entire thread elaborating on the issue and gaining another 190,300 notes, and then eventually ending up on Imgur with another 106,000 views and over 7,000 upvotes.
So, let’s continue the discussion—share your thoughts in the comment section below!
I hate how my parents are always talking about how great they were as kids and all the stuff they did by themselves but they never allow me to do any of that because "It isn't safe"
My dad would give me the "it isn't safe" lecture, then proceed to do something dumb AF that endangered our lives, so.... Teach your kids to enjoy their time outdoors, with situational awareness, by spending some *with* them, maybe? (I end up overseeing neighbors' kids b/c I don't want them outside unsupervised, and now it's like I'm a de facto neighborhood Auntie. *sigh*)
Load More Replies...There is a disproportionate fear that kids will be abducted. It is unbelievably rare, but it does exist. So parents in their desire to protect the kids from this rarity don't encourage just going out. Also most of the kids I hear about are shuttled from one after school sport or learning class to another until dinner then they're too exhausted to do much after that.
Exactly. Most child abductions are by a non-custodial parent in the middle of an ugly divorce or ongoing custody battle.
Load More Replies...I've always wanted to live in a suburban town, because I felt like I really wanted to go outside into the yard, visit my friends, ride a bike down the street, climb trees. Where I live, there's not enough space for all that. Parks even ban biking and dog-walking! I'd love to just go outside, there isn't an outside to go to.
My mom: Everyone nowadays kids have no freedom, it's so unfair. Also my mom: You can't go to the park with your teenage friends, even though it is less than 5 minutes away. It just isn't safe.
GenX here. Hell, most of the time my parents had no idea where I even was, who I was with or what I was doing. All I had to do was make sure I was home for dinner with no broken bones.
Another Gen X person here, and the main rules were to call if you and your friends were going somewhere else, and to be home when the streetlights came on.
Load More Replies...You know, as a corollary to the article about Japan a few days ago, I'd like to submit that seeing kids outside on their own here in Japan in EXTREMELY normal. You see kids, under ten, on their own on the trains, on the buses, and even on the streets until relatively late at night (after 9PM). You see them in big groups out and about, and, despite the prevalence of video games, playing outside is much more common in Japan amongst kids than it is in the US, Europe, and Latin America. I'm amazed at their athleticism, and their devotion to sports. You know, this is the big thing that's great about Japan, that the author of that article never even touched upon. But, I guess those weeaboos are much too obsessed with their panty vending machines.
Not only do kids love to do baseball and soccer (and I've seen more than a few kids around 12 years old that throw well enough to be professional pitchers), but here unicycling is also immensely popular amongst kids. I've seen more kids casually unicycling down the street than I had ever seen in my life before I'd come to Japan. Even my wife knows how to unicycle. Furthermore, serious dedication to mastering an instrument. While, as a guitarist, I encountered innumerable people with poor technique in the US, it seems like there's nobody here with anything less than impeccable technique. The same goes for piano and brass. Geeze, couldn't the BP staff have spent a while to find out what is actually interesting about Japan, instead of square watermelons and fancy toilets?
Load More Replies...it's even harder nowadays because (at least in the area i'm in) old people live in the neighborhoods because they can afford it, and the small amount of kids who live there have no kids nearby their age. everyone else lives in townhomes or apartments, but there's no space outside to do much unless you want to get hit by a car.
So in our state kids left unattended are considered neglected until they are 11 years old - sometimes this is used against families if a child plays outside alone (alone = no adult in attendance). It means this is an unholy dependence where a 7 year old can't play without an adult and the adult has to spend all their time outside with the kid. Doesn't matter if the adult is nearby or there are regular check ins. So, children playing outside is actively discouraged as, I presume, an unintended consequence of the legislation.
One of my friends lives in a neighborhood with big, huge yards, but not a lot of other kids for her daughter to play with. Her daughter is also pretty shy, and would rather play by herself sometimes. My friend has a neighbor who keeps calling the cops to report her for an unattended child because the kid will be on the back porch with the dog, while my friend makes lunch and watches her from the window that is RIGHT THERE. Literally any time her daughter was in their backyard, the neighbor would call the police if he saw her there. So now the kid can't play outside alone anymore.
Load More Replies...#1 24 hour news has terrified a populace into thinking their neighborhood is less safe. In 1932, kidnappings were so prevalent they were listed in the paper in the same section as death and wedding announcements in small type. It became so bad that congress passed a law and the Lindberg baby became the FBI's first major case. In 2021, kidnapping is so rare when it does happen, an Amber alert goes out. How many Amber alerts have you experienced this year? #2 - Today's kids can online and find friends who have similar interests as them then go meet up with them. You no longer have to ride around with the local street kids to keep from being beaten up until you finally find someone who shares your hobbies. I have a friend whose daughter started during the pandemic to work on a group costume to re-enact part of the end of Avengers:End Game for our local comic book convention. When it got cancelled this March, they've double downed and found more people for a Halloween contest.
In some places, parents have had the police and social services on them for allowing a kid to walk to scool unaccompanied, even when the school was on the next block and visible from the home. That's (socialisto-style) government over reach, and has made many people wary of allowing kids the freedoms they used to have.
I lived in the middle of NOWHERE for the majority of my childhood. There was one girl (who lived two houses down) that I was able to hang out with for a few years, but we were forbidden from leaving my backyard by my mom. I wasn’t even allowed to be alone in the front yard (much less go near the country road near our house) for fear of something bad happening. There was nowhere to go, no one to play with, and people are always posting things about how "back in their day" kids didn’t sit around inside all day. Yeah, gets annoying to hear after a while when you know there were no alternatives.
Can any adult who have had that "old" experience please describe how it was like because I genuinely don't know and so don't have a good frame of reference to compare the current experience to.
I am 31 (dont feel.adult tought) and I never had that experience (growing up in a big city in Spain). But my partner grew up in a small village in Belgium and his childhood was totally different. Always outside playing with his friends unttil dinner time
Load More Replies...When my kids went to the mall they had to have an adult chaperone at all times until they were 18. That was the malls rule. The skating rink also until they were 16. No one goes to skating rink past 14 plus kids weren't allowed to sit unless they were eating they had to be skating nonstop. We live in a state park so no neighborhood kids. I've never said no to my kids having friends over so my house became the go to place to be for sleepovers and get togethers my kids are 18 and 20 and they still have people over all the time. There really isn't much for them to do wo spending a lot of money a weekend down the shore is 100s of dollars
And even though I live in a state park my kids weren't allowed in the actual park wo me until they were 14 not even for their cross country track practice. Thank god they had a big yard and friends over all the time
Load More Replies...I blame the corporate media for making parents overprotective. It's only gotten worse with the internet and social media, since no one bothers to fact check anymore, and too many people will believe anything that comes from a seemingly 'official' source.
It's not the corporate media, it's the exact same adults who enjoyed those freedoms as kids, who regulated away those freedoms, who complain about the kids not doing what they think they should be doing (while passing the blame on the current moral panic, whether it's pinball, D&D, novels, TV, video games) and also circulating unconfirmed rumors about white vans snatching kids to their friends and families that trust them. I have to tell my mom all the time to stop sharing stories that she she has no personal knowledge about and didn't come from a recognized news source. She has shared some dumb stuff, and she's not a dumb person at all. Like a new poisonous spider to be wary of, a supposed search for a kidnapping victim who I could not find any actual reporting of being missing (and could have been someone trying to contact this person who did not want to be contacted), a story about a supposed animal abuser which was likely to damage their reputation
Load More Replies...Although this topic is about the USA, in the Netherlands we see exactly the same thing going on. Despite parks being open and well maintained, despite supervised playgrounds for children, despite places created for children to play soccer or basketball or to skateboard without being a nuisance for other people. Kids just don't play anymore the way that we played. And I doubt if it's to blame on controlling parents.
Well, maybe some parental blame. They didn't teach their kids to go play outdoors!
Load More Replies...I was walking home from the shops one evening not long ago and passed 3 or 4 teens hanging out, just chatting and laughing like I used to with my friends. When I got home I jumped on Fb and noticed someone was botching about "young hooligans loitering" in that same park. It made me both sad and angry.
The basics of sitting in a public place. In your teens, get told "you can't, it could be dangerous" or "You're just going to ruin the space" Early 20's get told "leave, people like you are always ruining spaces like this" Late 20's get told "Why are you here, are you mentally unwell? You might be a pedo so I'm calling the police to move you"
If you go against this idea that kids must be protected at all times and never allowed to face danger you're a "bad parent" and have social services checking you out.
I grew up in NYC. In the third grade I was talking the bus alone to school and so were almost all my classmates. We played outside unsupervised until the sun went down. There was no such thing as play dates; we were in and out of each other’s houses (and whoever’s house we happened to be in, that mom’s word was law). We climbed to the top of the monkey bars without some anxious parent hovering below. We ran home crying to mom with scraped knees and elbows, banged shins, etc., and mom would bandage us up and send us back out to play. Scraped knees, sprains, bloody noses, etc. were a normal part of rough play. Nowadays if a child skins a knee, his mother wants to sue the playground. We are raising a generation of wimps.
My kid's school is about 2 miles from home and I don't know at what age I'd be allowed to let him walk/bike it. Part of the problem is that the road is pretty busy and about a third of the path lacks actual sidewalks. (And he would have to cross the road twice to use the sidewalks)
Oh come on, I grew up in NYC and I learned how to cross a busy street alone when I was six.
Load More Replies...Living in Finland I am glad to see that kids can still play outside here. But previously I had some neighbours who didn't let their kids play outside. Instead they send the boys to play in the stairwell of an apartement building while other neighbours kids were outside. I think it was bigger risk that they would fall down the stairs than go out and play with the other kids on the yard but the family came from a different culture and I understand that they couldn't believe how safe this country is.
In some countries, the ones that aren’t America, kids do play outside.
Not true for all contries. I grew up in spain in a big city in the 90-2000s and I had zero freedom and was mostly inside after school.
Load More Replies...I have observed that some adults are highly suspicious or even hostile towards children and teens, and complain about them spending their lunch period at the coffee shop or doing other perfectly normal things in a perfectly normal way. It's definitely some adults that are the problem there.
The first picture of the “outside they built” explains it to me. I’m pretty sure walking across the typical medieval European town was much safer than walking across a typical North American town is now because of the danger of being hit by someone who is forced to drive even though they don’t have the skill set to drive safely.
I live in a very small town in Australia (population 1,700). Kids here are free to walk around, and do all the time. I was amazed moving here from the city that they all speak as they go past. There's very little trouble around town and they're safe doing what they want. If they ever felt threatened they could go into any of the houses and would be protected. There are some of the usual problems like drugs but the druggies don't bother anyone. If there is a crime in town everyone seems to know who did it. There's been 5 murders in the 180 odd years the town has been here. People all look out for each other and most of the kids know everyone's name. Just a shame everyone can't live like this.
I applaude this piece. This shows some of the reality that is life today as a "kid". The irony is, I believe that serial killers were more prolific in the 70's and 80's when kids had more freedom, and independence. The murder "trend" of late is mass shootings/killings (schools, church's, shopping venues, etc...). Another thing I am seeing is a lot of murders within the family unit. I don't feel like the new parenting methods have improved anything. This is stil a scary world we live in.
Yes, as a child, we older adults had a great deal more freedom than young kids today seem to have. It is kind of a vicious circle. Since everyone was allowed out, there was safety in numbers and more to do. There were so many kids, even the nerdiest of us would eventually find compatible friends. With fewer kids around, and many fewer mothers at home, kids who go outside now may have no one to do anything with. But as a teen, in a rural area, we did not have many activities. We had only one movie theater, playing one movie. No community centers, no malls, no neighborhood pools, no sports for girls, not even a McDonalds!. We relied on the few "cool" parents with big houses who would let us all hang out there. We often just drove around looking for fields, abandoned barns and back roads to have ad hoc parties at. One thing we did have though, were dances, at the school or a church, and we ALWAYS had live bands. Born to be Wild; every band played it.
The problem is is that I'm not allowed to hang out with friends in real life, because I'm 'irresponsible' and 'childish.' But my parents have placed so many restrictions on my phone that I can't contact friends, and if I could, they go through it literally every week, so I wouldn't be able to talk freely anyway. And they wonder why I'm so isolated from socialising.
I’m a Gen Z and if I’m being honest, all of this is 100% true. I can’t describe the amount of anxiety it brings me trying to just be a normal teenager and talk to friends or have relationships when my parents are so strict. And I become so touch starved from not being able to meet people in person (I’m a very touch based person) that I practically explode as soon as I’m able to be close to someone. This post reminded of just how heavy the forced disconnect can be and how much I long to see my friends in person more. I only see my friends and others my age at school and extra curriculars which makes it really hard to actually get to socialize as much as I’d like. Therefore I turn to my phone because I’m desperate for some kind of human interaction.
I'm on the wrong side of 40 and I knew this all along. In my hometown, the empty fields where we used to have 5, 7 or even 11 aside kick-abouts are now made into "residential parks". You got jogging tracks, flat rubberized flooring areas for yoga, taichi and artificial hills for aesthetics. There are even several tennis courts. But strictly no football. A game that you can include 10-20 kids, everyone can join and it's healthy. So where can the kids go then?
My mom: go outside. Also my mom: it's either the front porch, the back porch or bust.
There should be special loitering places for teenagers in malls by turning those empty shop spaces into them where they can bring snacks and drinks from home or other shops in the mall and lounge around on sofas. If you want to shop or browse in the shops then go into the shops.
Ooookay. Start at the root of the issue. 1979. A 6 year old walked by himself to the corner to go to summer camp (or school, I forget which) and was kidnapped and killed. It was a big deal. It took 30 years to come full circle with that. Video games, television and school work kept me (an old millennial) inside but I spent A LOT more time outside...backyard, neighborhood... all side roads. Now, that's just one tiny side to it. But not all of it is like what I went through. And as a teenager, I couldn't actually get to a mall (not much car access or any money).... and as a child I biked to the library every day that I could.....
The truth is, most kids are too into their electronics. I'm an 80's kid and I lived outdoors, until Atari. I wasn't truly hooked until Nintendo came out, though. Not all kids are like that, of course. I live at an apartment complex where the kids play outside at all hours of the day & into the night. It's a pack of about 12, from about 6/7 years old to about 14/15. They seem too look out for one another. It's very sweet.
You can't do that. I did it, but I got "lucky". - I hate this saying, I feel like all parents say it
I hear it often by my peers "when "I" was younger / that age ... yaddah yaddah yaddah". Well back then we didn't have internet. Or so many drugs and guns that you can't go anywhere without bumping into someone who uses either or both. There are way more people in the world now, which creates more weird social instances. Everyone today is about themselves (looking at the older people and their careers and their 'space'). Schools are more about rules than teaching. Processed food industry has increased ADHD and other behavioral problems like no other time in history. Shall I go on??!!
I'm not exactly sure what point you're trying to make, but you seem to be very negative. How about the good news:- better diagnosis and understanding of conditions like ADD, ASD, dyslexia etc. Lower child mortality and disease rates. Better educational results. Plummeting rates of teen pregnancy. Highly reduced use of street drugs generation on generation. Better laws that protect the rights of women, minority ethnic groups and LGBTQ+. Smoking rates in adults and children far, far lower. Shall I go on??!!
Load More Replies...They are addicted to each other in the technical sense. I don't agree with this completely because human interaction is less because of technology. Plus the covid virus as well. But regardless of the covid virus. We are all addicted to technology and social media. If we were addicted to each other it would mean actually being around or in the actual presents of other people. Which we are not as much as we used to be. I think it's bad really. Because technology has given us an excuse to avoid human interaction. I find myself ignoring phone calls and texting back. I actually find myself anxious at times to pick up the phone and talk. Technology has had a bad effect on us. Whether we care to admit it or not. Its intention might have been good. But there's a bad side no one wants to acknowledge. Which is sad really.
Did you read the article, it explains how teens are addicted to each other, but are restricted to the point the internet is the best and most widely available tool. When 3/4 of a group aren’t allowed outside and the other 1/4 are doing extracurricular activities, the internet connects them.
Load More Replies...I feel like kids and teens are two different things. Its kids 12 and under that you don't see playing outside anymore. As a former teen lol, I don't recall seeing any teens playing outside.
You may not remember them playing (I beg to disagree, soccer, skateboarding, roller blades, Magic or Pokemom cards etc...), but teens would certainly gather and socialise outdoors or in public spaces far more frequently. It was common to meet up at the mall, park, skate park, street corner etc.
Load More Replies...Its having better gaming systems and better technology. I had nintendo since age 7 and a gameboy and my friends had the other systems. We could game for a while and than get frustrated with the game; sometimes be able to save it and go outside for awhile before coming back to it.
Paraphrased: "because there aren't any public places that don't charge for it" Imagine that! You go to a place en-masse and proceed to trash it, sometimes quite literally, and expect to not be charged because the mess you made automatically cleans itself up and your experience should therefore be free of charge.
I hate how this generation feel entitled and have no imagination. No buses etc, use your legs. Parks closed, just meet your mates and have a laugh. Use your lost imaginations instead of googling everything and moaning how hard done to you are. And go see friends not on a screen. Sure many have gardens to chill in. Does my head in
Apparently, you didn't read most of the article. The teens would love to just walk to a garden & chill with their friends. They aren't allowed to. They are chased away because they're "loitering." Many parents won't let their kids just walk out to meet friends because they are either worried about the kids safety OR neighbors call the police/CPS when they see kids just hanging out. I'm not going to sum up the entire article, go re-read & see what it says.
Load More Replies...I think social media and console games have something to do with this. Kids meet their friends online to shoot each other and they know what is going on through whatever is the most popular social media site. Back in the 80's there were probably just as many pedos and other hazards- we just weren't aware of them.
I'm 15 and not allowed to walk around the neighborhood or bike by myself. I can't be out past 8 (and that's with a parent with me) and am not allowed in public spaces without a parent or grandparent. I am not allowed to get a job or have many friends over. I live 40 minutes from the city so even if I was allowed to go out the only thing I could do is get hit by a car on the 5 lane into town and we don't have public transit. That's why I just text my friends and hang out online. I have no other option
Load More Replies...I hate how my parents are always talking about how great they were as kids and all the stuff they did by themselves but they never allow me to do any of that because "It isn't safe"
My dad would give me the "it isn't safe" lecture, then proceed to do something dumb AF that endangered our lives, so.... Teach your kids to enjoy their time outdoors, with situational awareness, by spending some *with* them, maybe? (I end up overseeing neighbors' kids b/c I don't want them outside unsupervised, and now it's like I'm a de facto neighborhood Auntie. *sigh*)
Load More Replies...There is a disproportionate fear that kids will be abducted. It is unbelievably rare, but it does exist. So parents in their desire to protect the kids from this rarity don't encourage just going out. Also most of the kids I hear about are shuttled from one after school sport or learning class to another until dinner then they're too exhausted to do much after that.
Exactly. Most child abductions are by a non-custodial parent in the middle of an ugly divorce or ongoing custody battle.
Load More Replies...I've always wanted to live in a suburban town, because I felt like I really wanted to go outside into the yard, visit my friends, ride a bike down the street, climb trees. Where I live, there's not enough space for all that. Parks even ban biking and dog-walking! I'd love to just go outside, there isn't an outside to go to.
My mom: Everyone nowadays kids have no freedom, it's so unfair. Also my mom: You can't go to the park with your teenage friends, even though it is less than 5 minutes away. It just isn't safe.
GenX here. Hell, most of the time my parents had no idea where I even was, who I was with or what I was doing. All I had to do was make sure I was home for dinner with no broken bones.
Another Gen X person here, and the main rules were to call if you and your friends were going somewhere else, and to be home when the streetlights came on.
Load More Replies...You know, as a corollary to the article about Japan a few days ago, I'd like to submit that seeing kids outside on their own here in Japan in EXTREMELY normal. You see kids, under ten, on their own on the trains, on the buses, and even on the streets until relatively late at night (after 9PM). You see them in big groups out and about, and, despite the prevalence of video games, playing outside is much more common in Japan amongst kids than it is in the US, Europe, and Latin America. I'm amazed at their athleticism, and their devotion to sports. You know, this is the big thing that's great about Japan, that the author of that article never even touched upon. But, I guess those weeaboos are much too obsessed with their panty vending machines.
Not only do kids love to do baseball and soccer (and I've seen more than a few kids around 12 years old that throw well enough to be professional pitchers), but here unicycling is also immensely popular amongst kids. I've seen more kids casually unicycling down the street than I had ever seen in my life before I'd come to Japan. Even my wife knows how to unicycle. Furthermore, serious dedication to mastering an instrument. While, as a guitarist, I encountered innumerable people with poor technique in the US, it seems like there's nobody here with anything less than impeccable technique. The same goes for piano and brass. Geeze, couldn't the BP staff have spent a while to find out what is actually interesting about Japan, instead of square watermelons and fancy toilets?
Load More Replies...it's even harder nowadays because (at least in the area i'm in) old people live in the neighborhoods because they can afford it, and the small amount of kids who live there have no kids nearby their age. everyone else lives in townhomes or apartments, but there's no space outside to do much unless you want to get hit by a car.
So in our state kids left unattended are considered neglected until they are 11 years old - sometimes this is used against families if a child plays outside alone (alone = no adult in attendance). It means this is an unholy dependence where a 7 year old can't play without an adult and the adult has to spend all their time outside with the kid. Doesn't matter if the adult is nearby or there are regular check ins. So, children playing outside is actively discouraged as, I presume, an unintended consequence of the legislation.
One of my friends lives in a neighborhood with big, huge yards, but not a lot of other kids for her daughter to play with. Her daughter is also pretty shy, and would rather play by herself sometimes. My friend has a neighbor who keeps calling the cops to report her for an unattended child because the kid will be on the back porch with the dog, while my friend makes lunch and watches her from the window that is RIGHT THERE. Literally any time her daughter was in their backyard, the neighbor would call the police if he saw her there. So now the kid can't play outside alone anymore.
Load More Replies...#1 24 hour news has terrified a populace into thinking their neighborhood is less safe. In 1932, kidnappings were so prevalent they were listed in the paper in the same section as death and wedding announcements in small type. It became so bad that congress passed a law and the Lindberg baby became the FBI's first major case. In 2021, kidnapping is so rare when it does happen, an Amber alert goes out. How many Amber alerts have you experienced this year? #2 - Today's kids can online and find friends who have similar interests as them then go meet up with them. You no longer have to ride around with the local street kids to keep from being beaten up until you finally find someone who shares your hobbies. I have a friend whose daughter started during the pandemic to work on a group costume to re-enact part of the end of Avengers:End Game for our local comic book convention. When it got cancelled this March, they've double downed and found more people for a Halloween contest.
In some places, parents have had the police and social services on them for allowing a kid to walk to scool unaccompanied, even when the school was on the next block and visible from the home. That's (socialisto-style) government over reach, and has made many people wary of allowing kids the freedoms they used to have.
I lived in the middle of NOWHERE for the majority of my childhood. There was one girl (who lived two houses down) that I was able to hang out with for a few years, but we were forbidden from leaving my backyard by my mom. I wasn’t even allowed to be alone in the front yard (much less go near the country road near our house) for fear of something bad happening. There was nowhere to go, no one to play with, and people are always posting things about how "back in their day" kids didn’t sit around inside all day. Yeah, gets annoying to hear after a while when you know there were no alternatives.
Can any adult who have had that "old" experience please describe how it was like because I genuinely don't know and so don't have a good frame of reference to compare the current experience to.
I am 31 (dont feel.adult tought) and I never had that experience (growing up in a big city in Spain). But my partner grew up in a small village in Belgium and his childhood was totally different. Always outside playing with his friends unttil dinner time
Load More Replies...When my kids went to the mall they had to have an adult chaperone at all times until they were 18. That was the malls rule. The skating rink also until they were 16. No one goes to skating rink past 14 plus kids weren't allowed to sit unless they were eating they had to be skating nonstop. We live in a state park so no neighborhood kids. I've never said no to my kids having friends over so my house became the go to place to be for sleepovers and get togethers my kids are 18 and 20 and they still have people over all the time. There really isn't much for them to do wo spending a lot of money a weekend down the shore is 100s of dollars
And even though I live in a state park my kids weren't allowed in the actual park wo me until they were 14 not even for their cross country track practice. Thank god they had a big yard and friends over all the time
Load More Replies...I blame the corporate media for making parents overprotective. It's only gotten worse with the internet and social media, since no one bothers to fact check anymore, and too many people will believe anything that comes from a seemingly 'official' source.
It's not the corporate media, it's the exact same adults who enjoyed those freedoms as kids, who regulated away those freedoms, who complain about the kids not doing what they think they should be doing (while passing the blame on the current moral panic, whether it's pinball, D&D, novels, TV, video games) and also circulating unconfirmed rumors about white vans snatching kids to their friends and families that trust them. I have to tell my mom all the time to stop sharing stories that she she has no personal knowledge about and didn't come from a recognized news source. She has shared some dumb stuff, and she's not a dumb person at all. Like a new poisonous spider to be wary of, a supposed search for a kidnapping victim who I could not find any actual reporting of being missing (and could have been someone trying to contact this person who did not want to be contacted), a story about a supposed animal abuser which was likely to damage their reputation
Load More Replies...Although this topic is about the USA, in the Netherlands we see exactly the same thing going on. Despite parks being open and well maintained, despite supervised playgrounds for children, despite places created for children to play soccer or basketball or to skateboard without being a nuisance for other people. Kids just don't play anymore the way that we played. And I doubt if it's to blame on controlling parents.
Well, maybe some parental blame. They didn't teach their kids to go play outdoors!
Load More Replies...I was walking home from the shops one evening not long ago and passed 3 or 4 teens hanging out, just chatting and laughing like I used to with my friends. When I got home I jumped on Fb and noticed someone was botching about "young hooligans loitering" in that same park. It made me both sad and angry.
The basics of sitting in a public place. In your teens, get told "you can't, it could be dangerous" or "You're just going to ruin the space" Early 20's get told "leave, people like you are always ruining spaces like this" Late 20's get told "Why are you here, are you mentally unwell? You might be a pedo so I'm calling the police to move you"
If you go against this idea that kids must be protected at all times and never allowed to face danger you're a "bad parent" and have social services checking you out.
I grew up in NYC. In the third grade I was talking the bus alone to school and so were almost all my classmates. We played outside unsupervised until the sun went down. There was no such thing as play dates; we were in and out of each other’s houses (and whoever’s house we happened to be in, that mom’s word was law). We climbed to the top of the monkey bars without some anxious parent hovering below. We ran home crying to mom with scraped knees and elbows, banged shins, etc., and mom would bandage us up and send us back out to play. Scraped knees, sprains, bloody noses, etc. were a normal part of rough play. Nowadays if a child skins a knee, his mother wants to sue the playground. We are raising a generation of wimps.
My kid's school is about 2 miles from home and I don't know at what age I'd be allowed to let him walk/bike it. Part of the problem is that the road is pretty busy and about a third of the path lacks actual sidewalks. (And he would have to cross the road twice to use the sidewalks)
Oh come on, I grew up in NYC and I learned how to cross a busy street alone when I was six.
Load More Replies...Living in Finland I am glad to see that kids can still play outside here. But previously I had some neighbours who didn't let their kids play outside. Instead they send the boys to play in the stairwell of an apartement building while other neighbours kids were outside. I think it was bigger risk that they would fall down the stairs than go out and play with the other kids on the yard but the family came from a different culture and I understand that they couldn't believe how safe this country is.
In some countries, the ones that aren’t America, kids do play outside.
Not true for all contries. I grew up in spain in a big city in the 90-2000s and I had zero freedom and was mostly inside after school.
Load More Replies...I have observed that some adults are highly suspicious or even hostile towards children and teens, and complain about them spending their lunch period at the coffee shop or doing other perfectly normal things in a perfectly normal way. It's definitely some adults that are the problem there.
The first picture of the “outside they built” explains it to me. I’m pretty sure walking across the typical medieval European town was much safer than walking across a typical North American town is now because of the danger of being hit by someone who is forced to drive even though they don’t have the skill set to drive safely.
I live in a very small town in Australia (population 1,700). Kids here are free to walk around, and do all the time. I was amazed moving here from the city that they all speak as they go past. There's very little trouble around town and they're safe doing what they want. If they ever felt threatened they could go into any of the houses and would be protected. There are some of the usual problems like drugs but the druggies don't bother anyone. If there is a crime in town everyone seems to know who did it. There's been 5 murders in the 180 odd years the town has been here. People all look out for each other and most of the kids know everyone's name. Just a shame everyone can't live like this.
I applaude this piece. This shows some of the reality that is life today as a "kid". The irony is, I believe that serial killers were more prolific in the 70's and 80's when kids had more freedom, and independence. The murder "trend" of late is mass shootings/killings (schools, church's, shopping venues, etc...). Another thing I am seeing is a lot of murders within the family unit. I don't feel like the new parenting methods have improved anything. This is stil a scary world we live in.
Yes, as a child, we older adults had a great deal more freedom than young kids today seem to have. It is kind of a vicious circle. Since everyone was allowed out, there was safety in numbers and more to do. There were so many kids, even the nerdiest of us would eventually find compatible friends. With fewer kids around, and many fewer mothers at home, kids who go outside now may have no one to do anything with. But as a teen, in a rural area, we did not have many activities. We had only one movie theater, playing one movie. No community centers, no malls, no neighborhood pools, no sports for girls, not even a McDonalds!. We relied on the few "cool" parents with big houses who would let us all hang out there. We often just drove around looking for fields, abandoned barns and back roads to have ad hoc parties at. One thing we did have though, were dances, at the school or a church, and we ALWAYS had live bands. Born to be Wild; every band played it.
The problem is is that I'm not allowed to hang out with friends in real life, because I'm 'irresponsible' and 'childish.' But my parents have placed so many restrictions on my phone that I can't contact friends, and if I could, they go through it literally every week, so I wouldn't be able to talk freely anyway. And they wonder why I'm so isolated from socialising.
I’m a Gen Z and if I’m being honest, all of this is 100% true. I can’t describe the amount of anxiety it brings me trying to just be a normal teenager and talk to friends or have relationships when my parents are so strict. And I become so touch starved from not being able to meet people in person (I’m a very touch based person) that I practically explode as soon as I’m able to be close to someone. This post reminded of just how heavy the forced disconnect can be and how much I long to see my friends in person more. I only see my friends and others my age at school and extra curriculars which makes it really hard to actually get to socialize as much as I’d like. Therefore I turn to my phone because I’m desperate for some kind of human interaction.
I'm on the wrong side of 40 and I knew this all along. In my hometown, the empty fields where we used to have 5, 7 or even 11 aside kick-abouts are now made into "residential parks". You got jogging tracks, flat rubberized flooring areas for yoga, taichi and artificial hills for aesthetics. There are even several tennis courts. But strictly no football. A game that you can include 10-20 kids, everyone can join and it's healthy. So where can the kids go then?
My mom: go outside. Also my mom: it's either the front porch, the back porch or bust.
There should be special loitering places for teenagers in malls by turning those empty shop spaces into them where they can bring snacks and drinks from home or other shops in the mall and lounge around on sofas. If you want to shop or browse in the shops then go into the shops.
Ooookay. Start at the root of the issue. 1979. A 6 year old walked by himself to the corner to go to summer camp (or school, I forget which) and was kidnapped and killed. It was a big deal. It took 30 years to come full circle with that. Video games, television and school work kept me (an old millennial) inside but I spent A LOT more time outside...backyard, neighborhood... all side roads. Now, that's just one tiny side to it. But not all of it is like what I went through. And as a teenager, I couldn't actually get to a mall (not much car access or any money).... and as a child I biked to the library every day that I could.....
The truth is, most kids are too into their electronics. I'm an 80's kid and I lived outdoors, until Atari. I wasn't truly hooked until Nintendo came out, though. Not all kids are like that, of course. I live at an apartment complex where the kids play outside at all hours of the day & into the night. It's a pack of about 12, from about 6/7 years old to about 14/15. They seem too look out for one another. It's very sweet.
You can't do that. I did it, but I got "lucky". - I hate this saying, I feel like all parents say it
I hear it often by my peers "when "I" was younger / that age ... yaddah yaddah yaddah". Well back then we didn't have internet. Or so many drugs and guns that you can't go anywhere without bumping into someone who uses either or both. There are way more people in the world now, which creates more weird social instances. Everyone today is about themselves (looking at the older people and their careers and their 'space'). Schools are more about rules than teaching. Processed food industry has increased ADHD and other behavioral problems like no other time in history. Shall I go on??!!
I'm not exactly sure what point you're trying to make, but you seem to be very negative. How about the good news:- better diagnosis and understanding of conditions like ADD, ASD, dyslexia etc. Lower child mortality and disease rates. Better educational results. Plummeting rates of teen pregnancy. Highly reduced use of street drugs generation on generation. Better laws that protect the rights of women, minority ethnic groups and LGBTQ+. Smoking rates in adults and children far, far lower. Shall I go on??!!
Load More Replies...They are addicted to each other in the technical sense. I don't agree with this completely because human interaction is less because of technology. Plus the covid virus as well. But regardless of the covid virus. We are all addicted to technology and social media. If we were addicted to each other it would mean actually being around or in the actual presents of other people. Which we are not as much as we used to be. I think it's bad really. Because technology has given us an excuse to avoid human interaction. I find myself ignoring phone calls and texting back. I actually find myself anxious at times to pick up the phone and talk. Technology has had a bad effect on us. Whether we care to admit it or not. Its intention might have been good. But there's a bad side no one wants to acknowledge. Which is sad really.
Did you read the article, it explains how teens are addicted to each other, but are restricted to the point the internet is the best and most widely available tool. When 3/4 of a group aren’t allowed outside and the other 1/4 are doing extracurricular activities, the internet connects them.
Load More Replies...I feel like kids and teens are two different things. Its kids 12 and under that you don't see playing outside anymore. As a former teen lol, I don't recall seeing any teens playing outside.
You may not remember them playing (I beg to disagree, soccer, skateboarding, roller blades, Magic or Pokemom cards etc...), but teens would certainly gather and socialise outdoors or in public spaces far more frequently. It was common to meet up at the mall, park, skate park, street corner etc.
Load More Replies...Its having better gaming systems and better technology. I had nintendo since age 7 and a gameboy and my friends had the other systems. We could game for a while and than get frustrated with the game; sometimes be able to save it and go outside for awhile before coming back to it.
Paraphrased: "because there aren't any public places that don't charge for it" Imagine that! You go to a place en-masse and proceed to trash it, sometimes quite literally, and expect to not be charged because the mess you made automatically cleans itself up and your experience should therefore be free of charge.
I hate how this generation feel entitled and have no imagination. No buses etc, use your legs. Parks closed, just meet your mates and have a laugh. Use your lost imaginations instead of googling everything and moaning how hard done to you are. And go see friends not on a screen. Sure many have gardens to chill in. Does my head in
Apparently, you didn't read most of the article. The teens would love to just walk to a garden & chill with their friends. They aren't allowed to. They are chased away because they're "loitering." Many parents won't let their kids just walk out to meet friends because they are either worried about the kids safety OR neighbors call the police/CPS when they see kids just hanging out. I'm not going to sum up the entire article, go re-read & see what it says.
Load More Replies...I think social media and console games have something to do with this. Kids meet their friends online to shoot each other and they know what is going on through whatever is the most popular social media site. Back in the 80's there were probably just as many pedos and other hazards- we just weren't aware of them.
I'm 15 and not allowed to walk around the neighborhood or bike by myself. I can't be out past 8 (and that's with a parent with me) and am not allowed in public spaces without a parent or grandparent. I am not allowed to get a job or have many friends over. I live 40 minutes from the city so even if I was allowed to go out the only thing I could do is get hit by a car on the 5 lane into town and we don't have public transit. That's why I just text my friends and hang out online. I have no other option
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