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The internet’s reputation for toxicity is both well earned and somewhat depressing. It’s a coin flip every time one opens a comment section if they might possibly see the worst, most hostile take of all time. But every now and then, someone actually decides to be nice.
The “Gates Open, Come On In” Internet group is dedicated to those, sadly, rare but beautiful moments when someone is actually nice and wholesome online. So we’ve gathered a few of the best posts from it, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own examples in the comments down below.
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There's actually a name for that thing where someone types a comment they'd never dream of saying out loud, and psychologists have been studying it for two decades. Back in 2004, a professor named John Suler coined the term online disinhibition effect to describe how people loosen up, or straight up lose their filter, once they're behind a screen.
The short version is that a handful of things stack together and make people braver, or meaner, than they'd normally be. The biggest one is anonymity. When your name and face aren't attached to what you're saying, your brain quietly decides the comment doesn't really count as "you."
#6
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 day ago
"I couldn't afford a proper ring so I got you a kitten named Ringo" That's the direction I would have gone with.
Anonymity helps you feel less vulnerable about self-disclosing and engaging in antisocial or harmful behavior. It's the same reason people say wilder things in a group chat under a joke username than they ever would introducing themselves at a party. Then there's invisibility. Even when people know your username, they can't see your face, hear your tone, or watch you flinch.
Typing at a screen removes the immediate feedback loop that normally keeps us polite. In person, you get instant cues, someone's expression falling, an awkward silence, that makes you soften what you're about to say. Online, none of that exists until after you've already hit send, and by then the damage is done.
#10
Rupert Gilliand 1 day ago
As a man, I'm not particularly worried if I walk past two drunk women outside a bar. But two drunk dudes? Caution.
#12
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 day ago
Insert Lonely Island featuring T-Pain meme from a decade ago here...
Timing plays a role too. Conversations online rarely happen in real time. You can read a comment, stew on it for six hours, and reply at 2am when you're tired, cranky, and not thinking straight. Suler called this asynchronicity, and it basically means arguments can ferment instead of resolving the way they would in a normal back and forth conversation.
#13
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
Well done to the unknown girl for reading the situation and offering a lifeline. We should emulate her, where possible.
#14
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 day ago
Everyone is going through their own thing. You can't judge someone else's experience. I worked for that guy during COVID. Don't be that guy.
There's also a weird trick people's minds play where they imagine the person on the other end isn't fully real, more like a character in a story they're telling themselves. Combine that with the fact that most platforms don't feel like they have an authority figure watching, no teacher, no manager, no parent in the room, and suddenly shouting into the void feels consequence free.
#18
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 day ago
Depends on where the scars came from. There's a reason I never wear shorts.
None of this means people are secretly awful. Suler's whole point was actually that this same effect can go the opposite direction. He called it benign disinhibition, and it's the reason strangers will offer support, share vulnerable stories, or be kinder online than they'd manage face to face with someone they barely know. Anonymity and distance can unlock generosity just as easily as cruelty. It just depends which way the wind blows in a given comment section.
#21
Never Snarky 1 day ago
This is especially true for women. My mother missed out on so much in life because she wouldn’t go alone because “women don’t do that.” I, a woman, have done whatever I’ve wanted alone and my husband of 53 years is so proud of me.
Add in a few extra modern ingredients and it gets easier to understand why timelines get so heated. Algorithms tend to reward posts that spark strong reactions, so outrage and snark often get pushed higher than a calm, thoughtful reply ever would.
#23
Lukas (alt) 1 day ago
Louder for the bigots who lurk on this site, who somehow aren't banned when my main account was, thanks BP
Piling on also feels safer in a crowd, since one nasty comment among fifty others feels less personal to write than it would if you were the only one saying it. And plain old stranger danger works both ways online, since it's easier to be cruel to someone you'll never actually meet.
Understanding the why behind all this doesn't excuse rude behavior, but it does make it a little less mysterious and a little less personal when you run into it. That keyboard warrior yelling in your comments probably wouldn't say a single word of it to your face, and that says a lot more about the medium than it does about you.
#30
Loosey Goosey 1 day ago
I had a baby at 21, got my degree at 28, passed my practical driving test on the fourth attempt at 33. I'm 40 now and still never been married or own my own house. Stop living your life according to some imaginary schedule and thinking "I should have done (milestone) by now."
Which is exactly why groups like this one matter. Every time someone chooses to leave an encouraging comment instead of a snarky one, or takes the extra second to be kind to a total stranger online, they're proof that the disinhibition effect can swing in the good direction too. Wholesome internet is entirely possible, it just takes people deciding to make it that way, one comment at a time.
#31
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago (edited)
For those unaware: "Himbo" = mix of 'him' + 'bimㅤbo', used for a man who's kinda stupid / airheaded but genuinely kind-hearted. Usually used for fictional characters, but it's very much fitting here.
#35
#37
Boston's $4,000,000 tuition-free community college plan expansion, covers up to 3 years of community college for all Boston residents, regardless of income, grad year, or immigration status.
#41
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 day ago
I used to make lunch for a little girl I taught in the early 2000s. She's a Hindu and some days didn't eat meat, so I had to make, like, cheese and tomato. She also liked the pilchard and onion sandwiches I made. She found me on FB a few years ago and told me how much it meant to her. My heart!!!
#42
#43
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 day ago
I love the out-of-focus husband looking back at his handiwork (teethiwork?) in the right-hand photo! XD
#47
#51
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
I generally can't stand this genre of movies but this is a good scene. It's because this character is written as basically "opposite James Bond", therefore he respects women while real Bond is a rapㅤist.
#53
Top Notcher 1 day ago
I really tried, but can't find anything that would make the cake cursed in the first place
#56
ABC NrTwelve FUCKCENSORISM 1 day ago
Relationship goals ❤️ This is how it should be, not "delete all phone numbers of your male friends to cater to my insecurity."
#57
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
That's the parents' job. Always believe in them. And make it clear that you do .
#59
Nota Robot 1 day ago
As a volunteer who works with children I'd say theres also about 20-50% of giving them some much needed parenting. Setting boundaries, teaching manners, how to keep yourself entertained without screens....
#61
#62
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
Fully agreed. Avoid mansplaining but help others by passing on a little knowledge from time to time. In a friendly voice, ofc ;-)
#63
#64
Sarah Bailey 1 day ago
Those are pretty fly looking sneaks!!! My oh my love the vanilla waffle cone with sprinkles edition!!!
#67
Luke || Kira (he/she) 1 day ago
Someone posted a thing I really like: "All dudes want to score a Morticia while putting zero effort in their Gomez game"
#69
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
I used to ref - rugby - and some of the badinage on the pitch had me laughing so much I couldn't blow my whistle ;-) Great days.
#71
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
The only trouble here is that certain people have particularly wide definitions of 'being hurt'. In extreme cases this can extend to "I'm hurt that you don't follow my religion / hockey team / political party / system of morality" and by then it's just bullying by opinion.
#72
Andrew Keir 1 day ago
Girl at the register is way off base here. Guy handled it well - but shouldn't have to.
#76
Nota Robot 1 day ago (edited)
Genuine question: I know about they/them, obviously, but how do I adress someone where I'd use 'sir/madam' for cis-people? (Please correct me if I didn't get all of that right, im trying to learn)
#77
Colorado lawmakers pass bill to enforce disability accommodations in schools.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 day ago
The Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) specifically covers this Colorado may be thinking the national legislation will be repealed so they are shoring up their state against racism.
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highwaycrossingfrog 1 day ago
More wholesome posts like this please! Also, I usually skip the blurb, but this was well-written and thoughtful
Forrest Hobbs 1 day ago
Lovely. With the state of things these days, I reckon everyone could do with more reminders like this of how so many people really are good and kind and decent.
Gavin Johnson 1 day ago
My daughter has dyed a chunk of her hair, I decided that it was time to do something silly so I joined her, I’m bald as a coot so dyed beard it is. Bleached it then dyed it blue. Two separate occasions folk have complemented my blue beard, for a 51 year old bloke who hasn’t received random complements on his appearance for decades this was a bit of an eye opener! I was barely able to thank them for the compliment! 😂
Natalia Jahooblies 1 day ago
I'm a bit disappointed not to see the "gay chicken" post, it's wholesome af!
highwaycrossingfrog 1 day ago
More wholesome posts like this please! Also, I usually skip the blurb, but this was well-written and thoughtful
Forrest Hobbs 1 day ago
Lovely. With the state of things these days, I reckon everyone could do with more reminders like this of how so many people really are good and kind and decent.
Gavin Johnson 1 day ago
My daughter has dyed a chunk of her hair, I decided that it was time to do something silly so I joined her, I’m bald as a coot so dyed beard it is. Bleached it then dyed it blue. Two separate occasions folk have complemented my blue beard, for a 51 year old bloke who hasn’t received random complements on his appearance for decades this was a bit of an eye opener! I was barely able to thank them for the compliment! 😂
Natalia Jahooblies 1 day ago
I'm a bit disappointed not to see the "gay chicken" post, it's wholesome af!
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