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Groom Ends Relationship Over Debt And Clashing Values After Fiancée Demands He Pay $35k For Wedding
Some couples bond over long walks on the beach. Others connect through shared playlists, favorite foods, or mutual hatred of small talk. And then there are those who discover, sometimes far too late, that their biggest incompatibility isn’t about love languages or where to live, but about money.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) was ready to get married to the love of his life until they engaged in discussions about money. What followed left him feeling greatly disappointed and questioning the future of their relationship.
More info: Reddit
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Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author and his fiancée began planning their wedding, but conflict arose when she revealed plans for a lavish $35K ceremony that shocked him
Image credits: pressmaster / Freepik (not the actual photo)
A deeper financial discussion exposed major differences, including her lack of savings, significant credit card debt, and reliance on his savings to fund the wedding
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Tensions escalated when she demanded he stop financially supporting his brother, despite his long-standing commitment to help him recover from medical debt
Image credits: anonymous
Realizing their values around money, family, and priorities didn’t align, he called off the wedding and ended the relationship
The OP and his fiancée had been together for three and a half years and engaged for six months, seemingly on solid ground. However, during what was supposed to be an initial meeting with a wedding planner, he realized the fiancée had already envisioned and priced out the entire event and that the total cost would be around $35,000.
For the OP who lives frugally, owns a paid-off home, and values financial security, this number felt absurd, especially when he remembered that his fiancée barely made more than that a year. That then prompted a deeper financial discussion, which only made things worse. While he had savings, stability, and a clear emergency plan, he discovered that she had no savings at all.
Despite living with her parents and having minimal expenses, she was carrying credit card debt and only making minimum payments. When she suggested he could simply dip into his savings to fund the wedding, he explained those funds were intentionally set aside as an emergency buffer. However, the real tipping point came when she learned he had been covering his brother’s mortgage for over a year.
The reason for this was because his brother had paid for much of his college education and later fell into debt due to his child’s medical emergency. Helping him temporarily was both a thank-you and a promise. Instead of understanding, his fiancée demanded he stop. In all, he realized they weren’t compatible and called off the wedding while his family urged him to find a middle ground.
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The financial conflicts in this couple’s story are a real-world example of a well-documented pattern in relationships. According to Chartered Capital, financial stress often signals deeper mismatches in values, beliefs, and emotional needs rather than just numbers. Couples who share similar financial values experience fewer and less severe money conflicts, even when their incomes or debts are comparable.
Supporting family members financially can further complicate these conflicts. HerMoney Media notes that if couples haven’t clearly discussed expectations about when, how much, or whether to provide financial help, tensions can arise. The reason is because partners may feel torn between loyalty to their family and loyalty to each other.
However, the long-term consequences of such conflicts are significant. Research from Tend Task shows that couples who argue about money early and frequently are more likely to divorce than those who disagree mainly about other topics. Financial disagreements tend to be more intense, last longer, and involve harsher language than other disputes.
Because they touch on security, trust, and fairness, repeated financial conflicts erode overall marital satisfaction, which increases the likelihood of divorce. In this case, the clash over wedding costs, debt, and family obligations reflects exactly how financial misalignment can make a relationship unsustainable.
Netizens supported the OP’s decision to call off the wedding, with many highlighting financial incompatibility as a dealbreaker. They also pointed out the fiancée’s lack of savings and sense of entitlement, framing the breakup as a smart move and suggesting it avoided future resentment and potential marital conflict.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you ever call off an engagement over money issues, or try to compromise? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens praised the author’s priorities, but also questioned how such a major mismatch went unnoticed for over three years
What do you think ?
Tabitha 1 hour ago (edited)
Even if she’s only making $35,000/year, after taking a third out for taxes and Social Security, she’s still got about $2,000/month leftover. W*F has she been spending her money on, if she’s living at home and not paying her parents’ bills for them? Even if you count shopping and vacations, after a while—-and remember, she’s 27, so if she got out of college at 22, she’s five years into the workforce—-there’s not a lot left you want to buy and you start saving your money instead. She’s got maxed out credit cards on top of it? She’s could throw nearly her entire salary at them to get them all paid off within a year, or two or three if they’re high balance. No, she’s looking at OP as an ATM and not a life partner. OP needs to stop playing with childish women and find himself a grownup to settle down with (even if she’s younger, she should still be mature—-and 27 is an age where you stop acting like a child and start being an adult. By 27, some people already have careers started, mortgages, and young children, or at least one child, all of which make them HAVE to grow up).
Tabitha 1 hour ago (edited)
Even if she’s only making $35,000/year, after taking a third out for taxes and Social Security, she’s still got about $2,000/month leftover. W*F has she been spending her money on, if she’s living at home and not paying her parents’ bills for them? Even if you count shopping and vacations, after a while—-and remember, she’s 27, so if she got out of college at 22, she’s five years into the workforce—-there’s not a lot left you want to buy and you start saving your money instead. She’s got maxed out credit cards on top of it? She’s could throw nearly her entire salary at them to get them all paid off within a year, or two or three if they’re high balance. No, she’s looking at OP as an ATM and not a life partner. OP needs to stop playing with childish women and find himself a grownup to settle down with (even if she’s younger, she should still be mature—-and 27 is an age where you stop acting like a child and start being an adult. By 27, some people already have careers started, mortgages, and young children, or at least one child, all of which make them HAVE to grow up).
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