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Wife Hijacks Husband’s Car To Leave A Family Party Because He Tricked Her Into Coming To The BBQ Even Though She Had A Shift At Work
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1.9K
People, Relationships2 months ago

Wife Hijacks Husband’s Car To Leave A Family Party Because He Tricked Her Into Coming To The BBQ Even Though She Had A Shift At Work

An old English proverb says that all’s fair in love and war. The second part of this proverb has been used too often in world history, so that the first part is almost lost – and in fact, it often causes a lot of family problems.

You probably know how it happens – when a person wants something so much which they consider good for a loved one that sometimes they do not even ask the second person’s own opinion. The very wording: “I just want the best for you!” actually causes a lot of trouble, derailing a number of families.

We hope that the family of the author of the original AITA Reddit post will somehow do well after the story that the woman told, while gaining 19.1K upvotes and 4.3K different comments. However, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

More info: Reddit

The original poster works as a nurse and is really keen on her work

Image credits: Tony Alter (not the actual image)

So, the Original Poster works as a nurse and has a very busy schedule, especially in the last few years, which is not surprising – in recent years, the vast majority of the world’s medical industry have been working in a completely emergency mode. However, the OP seems to be quite satisfied with her work.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP’s husband likes to spend his spare time with his relatives at their ranch

At the same time, her husband is a different type of person. He does an office job and spends all his free time with his family. And not only with his own wife, but also with numerous relatives. The OP’s husband’s family lives on a ranch far enough away from them that getting there is quite a hassle.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

In general, despite the fact that the husband constantly invites the OP to all sorts of family events with his relatives, by hook or by crook, she sometimes tries to avoid visiting. True, as the woman admits, she always tries to attend really big and important meetings.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP’s husband almost begged her to join him at his family’s BBQ party but she had her work shift to do

Last week, the OP’s husband’s in-laws were having a big BBQ party and of course, invited the couple. The husband really wanted her to go with him – after all, all his brothers usually came with their wives and often made fun of him that he was alone again. The problem turned out to be that on the day of the party, the OP had a work shift at the hospital.

Image credits: Don Graham(not the actual image)

For a long time, the husband persuaded the OP to somehow skip the shift, swap with someone, or somehow still come to the party. He even called all her friends from work himself, literally begging them to cover her shift. However, the only thing he managed to achieve in the end was the wife’s irritation. After all, the man resigned himself to the fact that he would again have to go alone…

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The husband tricked the OP into going to the party instead of driving her to the hospital

No matter how! On the morning of the party, the OP suddenly discovered that the tires on her car were out of air. The husband offered to take her to work, and the wife, of course, agreed. Imagine her surprise when, instead of the hospital, the man drove her directly to the ranch, saying that he tricked her into going to the party, and now she would have to put up with it and skip work that day.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

After a while, they reached the ranch. The OP glanced at her watch and made sure that if she found a way to get to work right now, she would still be in time for her shift. When the husband walked away, she saw his keychain, grabbed it and rushed to the backyard, where the cars were parked.

Image credits: u/Balcony-Angle5676

The OP took her husband’s car and drove to her work hoping she’d get there in time

The father-in-law saw her driving away and, of course, immediately told his son. As a result, the husband called her so many times on the way to work that the woman simply turned off the phone. She was on time, but when the shift ended and she turned on the phone again, she saw a huge number of angry messages from her husband.

Image credits: Macro Verch Professional Photographer (not the actual image)

When the OP turned her phone on, she saw a number of wrathful messages from her husband

She answered one of the calls, and he fell upon her with reproaches and accusations of manipulation. He said that she allegedly betrayed him and made him look stupid in front of his entire family. Then the man calmed down a bit and said that he always knew that work was more important for her than her own family, and that now he could never trust her.

Since then, the OP and her husband have been on terrible terms, and she hasn’t communicated with her in-laws at all since that ill-fated party. The woman is upset that, on the one hand, she unwittingly spoiled her marriage, but on the other hand, she was afraid that if she missed the work shift, she would simply lose her job.

Commenters backed the OP and said that her relationship with her hubby just cannot be healthy

However, people in the comments, on the contrary, massively supported the OP. It is strange to read that a man who lied to his wife literally in the face, later himself accuses her of manipulation. And what’s more, it turns out that he puts his leisure time above her career. Commenters believe that a woman should not only not apologize in any case, but simply leave such an unworthy person.

Summarizing the original post, people note that the husband almost framed the woman with her job, gaslighted her, deceived and actually kidnapped her. According to most, this is a weighty reason to leave him. Most likely, commenters believe, the man has some kind of psychological problems – but in any case, this relationship cannot be healthy.

We are pretty sure that such twisted experiences have not happened to you, but if there was something similar, we will be grateful if you share it in the comments. And, as always, we welcome your views on this very narrative.

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What do you think ?
LH25
Community Member
2 months ago

The kicker here is that he accused her of being manipulative. After lying to her and taking her to the BBQ. Also, it was all about looking good in front of his family? He should have told them to lay off. He put her job at risk, yes. But also the patients she was scheduled to take care of.

Ansi
Community Member
2 months ago

Don't forget he said that HE could never trust HER again after this. 🤦‍♀️

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alwaysMispelled
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm a nurse. You cannot just "sit a shift out," there is an INSANE nursing shortage and someone not showing up could potentially risk a patient's safety and DEFINITELY f***s over your co-workers. This is just insane. For a f*****g BBQ??!?! He should be standing up to his brothers on his wife's behalf, educating them on how IMPORTANT and CRITICAL her job is!

Two_rolling_black_eyes
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

Kidnapping, lying, and extortion of her time (the act or of wresting anything from a person by force, duress, menace, authority, or any undue exercise of power) are inexcusable and criminal. Implying that her job is the reason he shouldn't do it is saying its ok for this behavior if society doesn't think your job or you are important. What if she had been a sex worker instead of a nurse? Would damaging her car and lying to her to force her into his locked car be less or more criminal? How about involuntarily taking her to a place she specifically said she didn't want to go? Would it be ok for her to take the vehicle she was kidnapped in to escape the man and his family?

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Rens
Community Member
2 months ago

My abusive ex used to pick a fight with me and give me hours long lectures, usually when I needed to go to work. I was a healthcare assistant and I was doing a lot of hospital work and I knew how important it was for me to get to the shift because there was such a staff shortage. It took me years to get away from him; work was the only way I could get enough money to get away from him and the only way I felt respected and valued. Everytime I tried to get away from him, he would Sabotage my job and my home (either by coming to my place of work, calling me incessantly on my phone, calling the office of the agencies I worked for and verbally abusing the staff, arriving at the place I lived and picking fights with other residents or my landlords... ) so that I would end up losing my job/home and have to move back in with him, or be homeless on the streets... Nightmare times

LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
2 months ago

*grabs a shovel* want some help getting rid of him 😉

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Katinka Min
Community Member
2 months ago

Really, SHE is the manipulator? HE TOOK THE FCKING AIR OUT HER TIRES!!!!! And then he practiclaly kidnaps her, stopping her from coming into work. That is psycopathic behaviour. And he has the nerve to say she made him look bad? SHE? After he pulled this stunt? If they have kids, they might want to try therapy, otherwise it'll be a divorce.

Munnin
Community Member
2 months ago

I'd leave him immediately.

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Winter Eleven
Community Member
2 months ago

She's a manipulator? He's a freakin'kidnapper

BadCat
Community Member
2 months ago

Would he be okay with her losing her job and supporting the both of them? Super scary guy to slash her tires and try to trap her into going along with his plans. Throw him out with the bathwater.

Ruth Heintz
Community Member
2 months ago

It sounds like he is trying to isolate her which is a narcissist Mo

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Wilko Lunenburg
Community Member
2 months ago

That would end my marriage.

Robert Jones
Community Member
2 months ago

This marriage won't last anyway. Marriage is about sacrifice for your family, sacrifice the OP won't make. There will be divorce in this marriage because they aren't willing to make it work for each other, only thinking about themselves

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Katherine Boag
Community Member
2 months ago

Even if you think she works too much or needs to give her husband more attention or whatever, that is no excuse for how he acted here. He LIED AND GASLIT AND KIDNAPPED AND TRAPPED HER like she had to steal his keys to get away to not lose her job. I hope she divorces him.

Bayou Billy
Community Member
2 months ago

I feel bad for all the commentors supporting him somewhat or claiming he must have done this for reasons. Your relationships must be messed up seriously to think that way. What is wrong with them?

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JD
Community Member
2 months ago

So he tricked and manipulated his wife and effectively kidnapped her. He potentially put people's (her patient's) health and/or lives in danger, risked her losing her job, vocation, financial stability... all so he wouldn't get teased? He needs to grow the f**k up

Amanda Charity
Community Member
2 months ago

And thats what this is really about his ego! Thats why he took such a drastic measure because he meant that she was gonna go regardless of how she felt and its just disrespectful on so many levels!

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Vivian Ashe
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm kind of surprised by the number of people who agree that the wife should just call in sick or trade shifts any time her husband wants her to have a meal with his family. A lot of jobs don't offer the flexibility to just trade shifts with someone else to accommodate your social life - especially if there's a staffing shortage, or if you have very specialized responsibilities that make you hard to replace. The fact that the husband thinks she can just not shot up for work that day and there won't be any consequences is an indication that he doesn't respect her career as a "real" job.

JanaK
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

She said she covers a shift, not her shift. Yes, she could do it if she wanted to be with her husband.

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

1. He let the air out of her tires. (this is the most logical explanation, tho' I have no proof beyond having seen abusers do that sh*t). 2. He kidnapped her by legal definition. 3. Medical personnel can't just "sit out a shift". if you're on the schedule, you're on. That's it. 4. She needs to leave and not look back.

JanaK
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

2. In criminal law, kidnapping is the unlawful confinement of a person against their will. Not by legal definition...

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LynzCatastrophe
Community Member
2 months ago

He dared to call HER a manipulator?! When his little stunt could have cost her her job?? What did he think would happen? He basically tricks his wife into being a no-show at work! He truly doesn't see what he's done wrong here?! Yeah, family is important and you should make time for them. A BBQ is not one of those times and most employers would (rightfully) refuse you time off for that.

Bayou Billy
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah the amount of flak she is getting in the comments here and there lead .e to believe her husband's personality type extends to both sexes and is fairly common sadly...

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 months ago

So husband deflates wife's tires and kidnaps her and SHE wonders if she's TA for escaping?!?!

LucyGoosey
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm not a nurse, but both my grandmothers were, my step-mother is a phlebotomist, and my step-sister wants to be a traveling nurse and is working at a care facility with elders (for lack of a better word). I disagree with the last comment there, nurses, doctors, anybody in the medical field can't catch a damn break. They seem to work 24/7 and usually have no choice but to pick up an extra shift due to a shortage in nurses and the number of people in a hospital at a time, especially nowadays. My step-mother just does blood work, and there's like 9-12 of them, but they're not always at work together, and since step-mom used to be a supervisor (before she stepped down for her kids), I often hear her getting calls from people saying they're not coming in. It becomes a thin crew of 3-4 for a three floor major hospital. An intern quit. Someone else got fired for mislabeling. No, I'm not kidding - this hospital has some good doctors, but it sucks. OP has a right to be upset. Husband's TA.

Dre Mosley
Community Member
2 months ago

He flattened your tires so you would have no choice but to get a ride with him, so that he'd be in control of where you went and he has the nerve to call you manipulative?

Keith O
Community Member
2 months ago

In reality the title should have been, Husband tricked and kidnapped me and then got mad when I rightfully ran away. GET A DIVORCE. How many red flags do you need?

Amanda Charity
Community Member
2 months ago

I feel like this plenty men work like dogs year-round miss family functions, dance recitals and all and nobody ever has a problem with this so why is her wanting to go to work and use the degree im sure she spent thousands on a problem? Once she said that she had to work it should have been the end of the discussion period! But this is psycho s**t sure enough!!!!!!

Jasam Nitko
Community Member
2 months ago

I'd be getting a divorce if my husband did that to me. There is no way I'd stay with a man that treated me like that.

Soon
Community Member
2 months ago

He abducted you, tried to force you away from the responsibilities at your work. Run for the hills, he is not the right person for you! You are absolutely NTA!!!

Lisa McClure
Community Member
2 months ago

Change this story to a man being a doctor needed to perform an operation, and everyone would agree that it was important. Doctors are seldom on the wards--NURSES keep everyone living in between the surgeries and 5 minute visits by the doctors. Jobs that are historically "female" are usually underpaid and under appreciated. I know, I am a library director with 2 master's degrees, and other city directors often make 50% more than library directors that are traditionally male jobs like public works director, parks director, or finance director--often with less education and experience. I can't believe the people that say ESH!!!! She is NTA, and his is a major one!

JanaK
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Change the story about a woman who is always alone to her family events 'cos her husband is always at work. He would be inconsidarate AH, he would be cheating since he "takes" othes doctor's shifts, he would be an AH because he doesn't care about his wife's feelings and so on. Do you want me to continue?

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Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 months ago

This story is a whole new level of WTF? How old is the husband? 12? letting air out of the wife's car? Wanting her to bail on work? that is some immature s**t and also some major red flags from him AND his family

SupernaturalPanda
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

NTA and his a*s and his stuff would be out!! Let him go live on the ranch that he loves so dearly . You don’t f**k with someone’s job like that .

I'mNotARoboat
Community Member
2 months ago

"Woman escapes kidnapping by husband after he tricks her into being given a ride to work but really takes her to where he wants her to go instead". Fixed the title.

Peter Ledoux
Community Member
2 months ago

My advice, don't have kids.

S
Community Member
2 months ago

He called YOU manipulative?! LEAVE HIM SIS. You don't get to just "sit this shift out" that's not how it works in the grown up world. What a f*****g child. Honestly, if you stay with him then you get what you get. This is unreal.

Troy Parr
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like he's still tied to his mother's apron strings. Time he cut those ties loose and gave his Wife more support instead. His wife is having to teach him lessons that his parents should have done...

deanna woods
Community Member
2 months ago

The folks that are saying ESH are truly confusing. They are essentially saying that what the guy did was wrong, but the wife is prioritizing her job above anything else. I don't know if you people have noticed, but we are still in the middle of a global pandemic. There is a shortage of nurses and they have to work a lot of shifts. This guy flattened her tires and then told her that he would take her to work just so that he could take her to the bbq. The main reason he wanted her there is because his brothers were giving him a hard time about the fact that his wife would not be there while their wives would. Maybe these women don't work or have jobs that are not demanding. Either way, she is definitely not the a-hole. He is though and so is his family.

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm with you. I'm a woman with an MD. I went in unpaid for two years in the pandemic. Why? B/c people die if medical personnel aren't around. That hubby needs a reality check on *what* she does. It's not like working McDonalds, where someone just waits longer for their fries

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Amanda Charity
Community Member
2 months ago

Let's be real about what this is. His ego was bruised because his brothers were giving him s**t about his wife not always being there. This had nothing to do with him spending time with HER, his focus was on his family and his needs thats why he took such and extreme measure by letting the air out of her tires because he meant that she was gonna go he didn't give a damn about how she felt. All these comments taking about she wrong! Really? Just imagine your at work and you know u have to work Friday but its your weekend with your son so you ask "OP" to cover for you and she agrees and all is well then the day of she calls and said " Oh im sorry I can't do it because my husband wants me to go to a family bbq" lmmfao im sure that will go over well with the superiors! That s**t just unprofessional. Obviously they don't have children so why not work as much as you can? Not to mention the pandemic like there are so many factors! None of that give him the right to do what he did!

Emerald Gal28
Community Member
2 months ago

I won't want to be with him anymore, that's for sure

Charles Williams
Community Member
2 months ago

I hope you don't have any children with this guy. You are definitely NTA but you should also definitely look into divorcing him. It was the other way around for me but she understood and was ok with me attending what I could and arriving when I could. Sometimes not arriving for functions until 30 minutes before they were over. But, I was never pressured or forced.

Louise Martin
Community Member
2 months ago

My first husband used to take the phone off the wall and take it to work with him so that I couldn't call my mother in another state to ask for help to leave him. Get the hell away from this guy ASAP because it's going to get way worse if you don't.

Ash P
Community Member
2 months ago

I had an ex that took my phone, car keys and wallet while I was sleeping and ran several states away. Many times he was manipulative like this, he got me fired from a Walmart because he would go to parties instead of giving me rides to work when my car was down

B-b-bird
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

He deflated tires in her car, DEFLATED tires, so she would not reach work. Isn’t it big enough flag to see from outer space? Now he’s manipulating her feelings to make her think she’s an AH. Omg… hope she’ll get a good attorney as it’s psychological abuse she’s going through

John Dough
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm completely dumbstruck by the number of these comments that read this story and decided the takeaway was that she works too much so she's the problem. Don't you all realize this is exactly the same sort of victim blaming that spawns the whole "don't wear provocative clothes if you don't want to be assaulted" nonsense. If the dude had an issue with his wife's workaholism the right response is NOT to kidnap her! JFC what is wrong with you people,

Amber P.
Community Member
1 month ago

Agreed. And there are so many of those comments, all from the same people, it makes me think he got his family commenting on here or something. Like how can that many people think this is acceptable? -.-

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Elec Aire
Community Member
2 months ago

He kidnapped her. What else is there to discuss.

Vidonia Thompson
Community Member
2 months ago

He kidnapped her, vandalized her car, and almost made her miss her shift which could've and would've costed her, her job and many people's lives. She needs to break up with him.

Person
Community Member
2 months ago

haha... "man practically kidnaps his wife's gets pissed when she runs away!"

Louise Platiel
Community Member
2 months ago

LEAVE now before this gets worse. The lack of respect for boundaries is astounding. The answer was no. You can't even trust that man around your property. The mysterious airless tires??? This marriage will be a lifetime of misery.

Marisol Foronda
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

He might even be jealous of her profession and was hoping he could get her fired.

Emcasey
Community Member
2 months ago

Fellow nurse here; NTA for sure. He's the AH for many many reasons. Going beyond the just ethics of lying, manipulating and tricking someone, there's another big one: your career. Not only could you lose your job for no showing a shift, some state boards of nursing can fine you or pull your license for patient abandonment. Nurses are already stretched thin on every unit; someone not showing up for a shift can literally mean the difference of life and death if you work on high acuity floor, like ICU or ER. He clearly doesn't understand it value your career. You deserve someone who does.

Seabeast
Community Member
2 months ago

The idiot that made that last post seems to be blissfully unaware that there is still a freaking pandemic going on, that many hospitals are short-staffed because burned out staff have quit, and that suddenly taking off with no backup plan puts her whole department in a bad state.

Deborah B
Community Member
2 months ago

*He* can't trust *her?* He kidnapped her. He sabotaged her car, offered her a lift to work, and took her somewhere else over her protests. And now he's acting like she is in the wrong for taking the car keys and leaving. WTF? Did he not notice he had committed a felony? Did he not have the common sense to realise that she could be fired for missing a shift without notice, or was he planning on it because he doesn't like her having a career she loves? He is 100% in the wrong here. Now he's saying she's manipulative? That's gaslighting. Next time he leaves the house, change the locks, and leave his possessions on the front step and have a process server waiting for him with divorce papers and a restraining order.

P B Wilson
Community Member
2 months ago

As a hospital worker as well, Yes your job is very important however so is your personal life and your marriage and your family. Yes he did it in a wrong way, however it sounds like he just missed his wife attending family functions. Sometimes people sacrifice too much for their job

S
Community Member
2 months ago

If you miss your wife, you don't kidnap her and force her against her will. You have a f*****g conversation. If you believe otherwise, you're a child just like he is.

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Lisa H
Community Member
2 months ago

What I'm about to say is going to be controversial, but I agree with the last commenter. ESH. The husband for tricking her, vandalism, and basically kidnapping her. However, it sounds like she's ONLY with his family for the major events and a BBQ is nothing to her. It sounds like work is so important to her that he has no choice but to manipulate her. Yes, she has a VERY important job, but she all but said her work is basically her #1 priority at all times. If my SO said that to me, regardless of their job, I would be heartbroken. This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship on either end. Does she not like his family that he loves so much? I'm wondering why the husband felt like he had to manipulate her like this. She is a nurse and obviously we need as many as we can get, but I'm also curious if she even has much of a personal life. ESH but I feel like I need more information.

Danikah
Community Member
2 months ago

No one has to manipulate anyone. There is always a choice.

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Becky Olsen
Community Member
2 months ago

Run! If this very hard to believe story is true, (vandalism, kidnapping, gaslighting, risking your job, risking patients lives, adding to your coworkers being overwhelmed with low staffing, adding to you be overwhelmed as a front line worker, etc. all because he’s either too weak to stand up to his family and/or him and his family are complete narcissists that have no idea the impact it’s had and is obviously still having on front line workers.Its sickos like this that have no idea how they make it so much worse for others, especially a front line worker like yourself who’s already overwhelmed by such an important job). Your husband and his family will only get much much worse. Save yourself and get a divorce pronto. This was a disgusting story to read and having to live through it wouldn’t be worth even being acquainted with your criminal and abusive husband and his family. It’s shocking to think you would be so blind to question yourself here as ‘AITA’. Therapy can help you.

Debrina Blackmoon
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

No way can I rightfully agree with anyone siding with him, including the last commenter above! Also, AGAIN-how is this "NTA" question even necessary?! Everyone knows only HE and his toxic psychocunt monster assholevirus shitpile bitchfungus vile fucktard+ family is truly in the wrong. This includes everyone here on that side.

Lady La'Starr
Community Member
2 months ago

He literally manipulated her into going...some ppl I swear 😮‍💨

Susan Guy
Community Member
2 months ago

Your marriage is not a marriage. Pull a Katie Homes on him. Be very nice and go to every event all while getting a new bank account, a lawyer and a track phone. Put money back, get an apartment and start moving little stuff over there, purge everything his family gave you to the dump, quietly and a little bit each time. Then, at the barbecue have him served papers in front of everyone. And just don’t go back home.

Susan Guy
Community Member
2 months ago

Your marriage is over…. Make your escape plan now. Be very nice and start accommodating every single wish and request for 6 months while creating your secret bank account, finding an attorney, changing papers to take his name off, purging c**p from your home that his family owned or gave y’all. Slowly and quietly just donate every single item sourced from them. Line up your housing, collect moving boxes, change your name back, passport too. Get your new place. And slowly sneak stuff over there. Then, just don’t go home one day and have him served divorce papers at a family barbecue that you promised to meet him at….. pull the Katie Holmes on him. Track phone and all….

Linda Santiago
Community Member
2 months ago

This is only going to get worse for OP. She needs an exit plan now. She is dealing with a narcissist. It only goes downhill from here.

Lauren French
Community Member
2 months ago

Does anyone else feel like he is the reason she had no air in her tires?

Mary Welch
Community Member
2 months ago

I don't think anyone is wondering if he's the reason for the flat tires. It's a given.

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Stannous Flouride
Community Member
2 months ago

More red flags than a Beijing May Day parade.

EM
Community Member
2 months ago

God, I hope she gets a divorce for real.

Penny Lost
Community Member
2 months ago

Why is he still her husband??

Kari Lynn
Community Member
2 months ago

It's only a matter of time til he hits you. In fact, it's probably right around the corner after his latest attempt at controlling you failed. Take it from me: former nurse and ex-abused wife.

Hope Tirendi
Community Member
2 months ago

He's an abusive POS and obviously she needs to get out NOW!

Gloria Bethallen
Community Member
2 months ago

All so his brothers would stop joking around about how he came alone. i assume they knew her job as well. Wow.

Heta Luna
Community Member
2 months ago

Girl got a man on her hands that thinks his rep with his brothers is more important than the life of people in a hospital. I would have filed them divorce papers the second he yells at me for this

Monica Leigh
Community Member
2 months ago

Sounds like something my mom would do. In fact, she picked me up from work once, with my little sister in tow, and then went straight to her boyfriends house for a little get together with his son...even though she knew I didn't want to go. She said it would just be for awhile, then we'd go home. Later in the evening, after his son leaves, she emerges in a nightgown. I'm like wth are you doing, we still need to go home. She wouldn't take us and expected us to sleepover on the couch. I was so pissed off and so her bf offered to take me and my sister home.

Fergus Corgi
Community Member
2 months ago

So the husband vandalized his wife's car & then basically kidnapped her because she is prioritizing her job over a family bbq. Getting mad because she needs to go to work instead of a bbq sounds like a child who doesn't understand adult responsibility. The vandalism & kidnapping seems frightening on the surface but I think it is more of the childish behavior actually (as long as he isn't violent). Getting mad because she left the party to go to her job; again childish behavior. She needs to get away from this man-child asap before she has any actual children with him.

Karen Phillips
Community Member
2 months ago

Leave! Get out! This can only get worse.

Kelley Baltierra
Community Member
2 months ago

NTA: but your husband definitely is...

Cartoon Fan Girl
Community Member
2 months ago

I agree with the commenters, I really do think that he deflated her tires, and if not him he had a friend over late at night to do it.

Kathrin
Community Member
2 months ago

why were the car's tires flat anyway? sounds fishy.....

Merilyn Horton
Community Member
2 months ago

He refuses to acknowledge that your job is important and doesn’t understand responsibility.

ssantgross
Community Member
2 months ago

Husband AND his family sound like garbage. Divorce him/them.

Paula Wynn
Community Member
2 months ago

Doesn't he realize when a nurse doesn't show up, someone could DIE? Way more important than a freaking BBQ. He let the air out and kidnapped her, but he thinks SHE'S manipulative? He is abusing her mentally, emotionally, AND physically. How long until he starts beating her? RUN GIRL!!!

princess kitty
Community Member
2 months ago

bro there are so many things wrong with this situation alone , not to mention the other red flags she's saying by reacting to the comments divorce him and get out before it gets any worse 😭

Lunar
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

Is the husband family all kids? Why are they so childish?

Valisbourne Spiritforge
Community Member
2 months ago

Gonna go with ESH as well. Sure, he was completely AH for what he did, but she never even mentioned trying to get a day off to go with him or even expressed interest in something he obviously wanted to include her in. So yeah, they were both the AH.

S
Community Member
2 months ago

All of that s**t went out the window when he kidnapped her. I don't care what the situation is, you don't react that way. She should leave that man child in the dirt.

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Monique Rosewood
Community Member
2 months ago

I wish he would have called me a manipulator that he'll never trust again after letting the air out of my tires, saying he's taking me to work and then taking me somewhere else. I would never let him hear the end of it.

Phillip VonTraum
Community Member
2 months ago

Does anyone else skip the extra repetitive c**p and the writing here and just read the Reddit post? I scan through and look for the spots of white and read the reddit post get through the article so much faster and play these articles are all written, it goes weirdly. It says some stuff in the reddit post and goes backwards for the author's horrific retelling of what the reddit post just said but in the guys own words?! WHATEVER. Stupid. Boredpanda is utter trash

Venice
Community Member
2 months ago

Did you maybe leave something out about his family not liking you or treating you poorly. Because ifthat's the case then I can understand your reluctance to be around them. Your husband's methods are clearly questionable but from where I stand it sounded like a desperation to have his wife join him. Your explanation is all about work work work. Your unwillingness to have someone cover your shifts speak volumes as it seems there were options to NOT work. Are you running away from being with your husband? Is this work obsession only with his family events or does it also happen when he wants to do other stuff, like attending HIS work events or visit with friends. So the question is what exactly is YOUR agenda about your obsession with working as you noted it's not about money. How important is your marriage to you....should be your next question . Unless your husband treats you badly, is irresponsible, controlling disrespectful etc. Then you have a good case to make. Otherwise let him g

Steven Windfeld
Community Member
2 months ago

What I don't get, is why they didn't just fill the car tires up with air. It takes a few minutes at most to do.

Wayne Sparks
Community Member
2 months ago

My guess would be because most people don't have their own compressor and you cannot drive a car to get air without risking severe damage to tires and rims.

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Stacey Vokes
Community Member
2 months ago

He went about this the wrong way but I think you also need to make time for him and what he likes to do. You chose to pick up an extra shift rather than spend time with him. Me and my partner work 6 days a week but we always check with each other before we take that extra shift in case one of us wants or needs an extra day together. Maybe tiu guys need to talk a bit more about priorities ❤️

Brina
Community Member
1 month ago

Hun, this is NOT the same thing. The fact you only seen it just as, "he went about it the wrong way", WITHOUT recognizing what he did was CRIMINAL, is incredibly naive. Like, did you really read, and grasp the severity of the situation? It's great if that's how you guys work things out that way. But did you miss the part, she goes to the important functions? Or what he did was kidnap her? In what world is any of that acceptable? I feel so bad for some of you. If you believe what he did was okay, than what does "abuse" look like to you?

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Julie jesse Carol
Community Member
1 month ago

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Rhia Corvalis
Community Member
1 month ago

Dude, why though?

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Iam Knucks
Community Member
2 months ago

Kind of interesting that she mentioned his family is in the middle of nowhere. But her husband offered to drive her to work, but instead drove to the family ranch. But then she still had time to double back to the hospital? Did he originally plan to drive her to work 3 hours early? Or is the family ranch only 20 minutes away? It kind of seems like the facts don't line up here. This feels like a very one-sided telling. Obviously the husband's actions as reported are very immature. But they also feel sad. Like a child begging for attention.

Brina
Community Member
1 month ago

Maybe she was scared to speak up, or he lied, and said something to make her believe he'd drop her off after he was done. My ex did that s**t to me. Said he just needed to drop off food, and that he'd take me, then go back himself. The hospital could've also been on the way, she could've been tired and not paying attention. Its not impossible that happened. Especially if you're distracted by something else. A phone, nap, a conversation... anything could've been possible. He could've said he needed to pick something up, anything. But nah I don't see it as "begging for attention", especially not on her part. I live in a small town, there are tons of alternate routes to the hospital, as well as ranches and farms within driving distance. It doesn't really matter how far, or how it happened. The FACTS are that, the husband used manipulation and criminal tactics. I think the wife just needed validation, the kind that tells you what you might already know, but not sure.

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Brian Boutin
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
2 months ago

While yes, op could possibly go to more events, why should she have to? Just so her husband "looks good" to his family? If family get togethers are so important to him, why hasn't he had any closer in town instead of always out at the ranch? Why is /this BBQ such a big deal to him vs any of the other similar events? Did he even try to ask her for that day off in advance enough that she'd have time, or did he just spring it on her and assume that she can "just call in"? If the ranch is that far away, and she only found out her tires were flat before she tried to leave for work, how did she make it to the hospital in time for her shift, or did she go check her car literally hours before she had to go to work? Is the ranch closer to work than their house? Or was she just going to leave for work extra early for...reasons? If because of traffic, maybe going the "long way around" and driving towards the ranch then towards work could save time.

Pursuing Peonies
Community Member
2 months ago

The fact that he literally kidnapped her and purposely misled her by saying he'd take her to work and then taking her literally elsewhere is a huge glaring terrifying red flag. There's also clearly not good communication in the relationship either. Big NTA but a tiny ESH because the timing of the finding of the tires and getting to work is sus, but kidnapping someone is extreme.

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princess kitty
Community Member
2 months ago

bro if he's pulling that stunt and trying to force you into submission alot aswell as many other flags id say a divorce is now the last option unless he actually tries bc it sounds like with all if that and the way you are letting him treat you , it just doesn't work 😟

LA Whitehead
Community Member
2 months ago

I see a divorce in their immediate future..

Misty Souders
Community Member
2 months ago

NTA. OK. My sister's a Dr. And yes there's a horrible shortage. Bthat being said. He was MOST DEFINITELY in the WRONG for what he did. And then went IFF on you. But in the OTHER HAND you SEEM to PREFER your work life over your married life. What I'm trying to say is that you to need yo sit down and talk. That IS WHY he did what he did. It was WRONG HOW HE DID IT. For sure. BUT he I SENDING you a message. That you are SIMPLY REFUSING to not ECKNOWLE. you two REALLY REALLY need to SiT down And TALK. ALL THE BEST

J Hunter
Community Member
2 months ago

The woman in the comments claiming to be a nurse is making me doub it. She went on a rant about working 12's but my first thought upon reading "get to work by 4p" made me think she was working 8's as in 8a-4p, 4p-12a and 12a-8a. Thus, more days/shifts are required. Otherwise she'd be working 4p-4a which makes no sense. Depending on the facility it's very unlikely that you'll work less than 48 hours vs her husband who seems to be unable to comprehend that her job is more demanding than his. I'm just concerned that she didn't see any of these traits early on in their relationship. I often note small things and address it before it gets out of hand. Unless he lied to his family, it seems like they have enabled these childish tendencies.

Bobby
Community Member
2 months ago

Not condoning husband at all. I think they should probably split up though. They clearly have priorities that don't match up. I don't know enough about her schedule though. Sounds like she's picking up OT. Does she volunteer for this? Is she picking up the shifts after husband tells her about an event? His actions are inexcusable, but does kinda sound like someone desperate to share something very important to him with his wife. Like I said they seem to have very different priorities and at least the husband needs serious counseling about acceptable ways to voice discontent

Auntriarch
Community Member
2 months ago

I don't know about where op is, but certainly here there is more OT than anyone wants. And some idiot stopping a nurse turning up for shift would just about put the tin hat on it

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Hubert Martin
Community Member
2 months ago

Considering how over the top he went with this, it seems like it was really important to the husband. Do people really put their jobs above the closest people in their lives? Why would you do that? You're going to retire from that job one day. It's generally good practice not to drop dead the next day. Sure, nursing is important. Not the point. Behind a nurse is a person who decides whether a job, any job, is more important than their life. Divorce him. You're going to keep hurting that poor family.

Brina
Community Member
1 month ago

She could work at mc Donald's, does it matter? He did this out of ego. Do you guys not see that what he did was ILLEGAL? It doesn't matter about anything else. What he did was ugly and manipulative.

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AzKhaleesi
Community Member
2 months ago

I'll be downvoted but I 100% agree with the last person. YES it was horrible what the husband did BUT you have to balance work with family and if you "rarely" go to events, then maybe the problem lies deeper. I don't know, I feel like if the husband posted this from a different angle everyone would be calling her a failure as a wife. Something like "I know I shouldn't have done this but all my wife does is work, she makes zero time for me or the family even though I have asked and even begged to make more time for us." I feel like this is heavily one sided and one of those things that's not so cut and dry and we need both sides.

John Dough
Community Member
2 months ago

I cannot believe you think there is another version of this story that makes this abusive and illegal behavior ok. And people wonder why victims stay with their abusers.

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Mason Dalmau
Community Member
2 months ago

This nurse definitely sounds like she neglects her marriage and her relationship with her husband and seems to show absolutely no consideration for how he feels when his wife is married more to her work than him. DESPITE THAT, his actions were egregiously manipulative and damaged their ability to trust each other far more than her being neglectful of him. She may have made him desperate for her attention, but this is one of the worst ways I can think of to "solve" the problem. She created the situation, but damn, he would have been hard pressed to f**k it up worse without getting physical.

Angi Hillin
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

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Shay Jackson
Community Member
2 months ago

People in the comments agree with her but one comment was so true why is it so important for you to work everyday and pick up shifts when she can be with her husband sometime I know work is important but her husband and family is important too but if she don't feel that way she needs to get a divorce and move on and let him find someone who wants to be a part of his family

John Dough
Community Member
2 months ago

Yeah... she's the problem in this story. Yall are insane.

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C.M. Jones
Community Member
2 months ago

Okay this is one of the more complicated ones that I've commented on. First off are there any children? Second once in a great while it's important as your job is you should get coverage to go on one of these events. My spouse is in the health field so I know exactly where you're coming from but there is coverage available you have plenty of friends who I think could cover you in a tight situation. It pretty much looks like you do not take any time off hardly at all. Okay now that I've said that part here's the other part your husband kidnapped you. He left the air out of your tires we all know that. I would say the best bet for you two is to get into marriage counseling right away. If he refuses go to at least one counseling session on your own. I'm not sure how long you two have been married, perhaps now is the time to plan an exit. Consulting attorney find out who owns what, and draft up a divorce agreement.

Bridget Connors
Community Member
2 months ago

They don't have any kids. If they did, where were they when hubby was driving the OP to "work" aka the BBQ?

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John Smith
Community Member
2 months ago

NTA, but your hubby might think he is an option to you, not a priority. I'd suggest marriage counseling asap.

elizabeth dowdy
Community Member
2 months ago

i dont know where you work as a nurse so i dont know what your work schedule is like ie 3 12s or 5 8's but it's clear though her work is more important than her relationship. i mean this was a desperate and yes bad at her husband to get her to spend time with him and his family. and if your covering for people and taking extra shifts it's clear you need to stop saying yes to so many extra shifts as your relationship seems to be suffering. you don't need to say yes everytime they ask you to cover a shift.

Janine Grant
Community Member
2 months ago

They both suck. It was clearly important to him and she should have tried to be there for him. If the roles lwere reversed we would say he wasn't supporting his wife's needs. Him kidnapping his wife and disregarding her choice is equally as bad. Some people just shouldn't be married.

Christopher
Community Member
2 months ago

The last poster is correct. Both sides are wrong in this case. It seems like the nurse doesn’t want to be around her husband or her family. The husband was a fool for lying and taking her to the party. Unhealthy relationship no matter whose side you’re on.

Hubert Martin
Community Member
2 months ago

If the people who know you don't like you and the people online, whom you've never met, support you, are you right or wrong?

Mason Hayden
Community Member
2 months ago

Dude is definitely not in the wrong here, clearly this women puts work ahead of family. You make time for what is most important and she refused to make time for him.

Jessica Smith
Community Member
2 months ago

ddd