The internet is awash with generic inspirational quotes encouraging you to believe in yourself, to shoot for the stars, and to seize the day because there's nothing you're not capable of when you put your mind to it. And who knows, maybe they have a point. But for those people who are tired of being life-coached by some faceless spewer of truth and wisdom, this Instagram account full of shitty life tips is for you.

It's called "Unspirational," and as you can see from the hilarious motivational phrases below, that's precisely what it is. Think you're special? You're not. You're only here because your parents had sex. Believe in yourself? What's the point? You'll only be disappointed when you fail. Dance like nobody is watching? Screw that. Eat like nobody is going to see you naked!

Sure, for some these demotivational quotes might seem pretty harsh, but it is always healthy to have a reality check and set your goals so that you can really reach them.

Scroll down for uninspirational quotes, prepare to be uninspired and maybe even have a laugh, because some of these are just hilariously funny quotes.

More info: Instagram (h/t: designyoutrust)

#1

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Unspirational Report

Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

That's what I usually do.

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#2

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

I should tell my human the same thing.

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#3

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mocochang
Community Member
2 years ago

OMG yes, that always annoys me so much.

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#4

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Cip IESAN
Community Member
2 years ago

Shutting the fuck up is free

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#5

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Jade Lynn
Community Member
2 years ago

2 milk 2 sweetner, but here in Canada most people say please and thank you so that's more than 4 words.

Erin Zelnio
Community Member
2 years ago

I wouldn't consider that part of your order. That's more like different part of the conversation. :)

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cassiushumanmother
Community Member
2 years ago

A light white vegan mokaccino gluten free/fat free/sugar free with extra grass cream, extra cactus spinked juice and sparkles of licorn poop toping please

Mindy Keys
Community Member
2 years ago

It just is not the same without the cactus sprinkles. Who can't understand that? What are we - animals??

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Šimon Špaček
Community Member
2 years ago

"One big cup of black coffee, please" 7 words and I do not see the problem. But I understand what he meant. This 'caramel, upside-down, foam on side, hazelnut sprinkle and five drops of griffin blood' thing. If your company has to offer twenty things to change taste and smell of coffee, well, they should consider change of the coffee itself.

Carol Stephen
Community Member
2 years ago

I dunno, griffin blood sounds rather intriguing! lol

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Marina Allemani (ReginaVeleno)
Community Member
2 years ago

Hmmm... What's wrong with "Good morning, can I have a coffe, please?"

Stijn V.
Community Member
2 years ago

the "coffe"

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Karen Meyer
Community Member
2 years ago

Oh yeah!!! And don’t order in front of me!

Jim Larson
Community Member
2 years ago

Just ask a dimented barista

Nadya
Community Member
2 years ago

Black coffee, please!

Michael Rothschild
Community Member
2 years ago

Here in Canada at Tim's: "Double double please. Thanks." 4 words. No problem.

Charlene Saulnier
Community Member
2 years ago

Whew, I just make under the wire. Half caf venti latte

endelbendel
Community Member
2 years ago

Yuppie angst.

Charles Laster
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes. Anything else is pudding, not coffee!

Ágnes Királyházi
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't drink coffee. That's four words. Am I the problem because I don't drink coffee?

S Missions
Community Member
2 years ago

What problem are you a part of?

Sarah Philipsheck
Community Member
2 years ago

having to wait in line behind someone who has a crazy ass coffee order and you just want a cup of coffee. Don't suggest the drive thru. waste of gas and air pollution please and thank you....

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Beth McFadden
Community Member
2 years ago

Large iced, light ice, skim, six Splenda. 7. Yup, part of the problem, as usual. FML.

Beth McFadden
Community Member
2 years ago

"Please", "Thank you". 10, actually. God, I'm a fuckin' blight on society.

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Jilltdcatlady
Community Member
2 years ago

I have a sign board in my kitchen that reads "I'll have a cafe' mocha, vodka, xanax, latte, please." And I'm not allowed to bring it to work anymore. (The drink, not the sign.)

Karen Palmer
Community Member
2 years ago

You mean like mine ....Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold brew?

Mauro Alario
Community Member
2 years ago

😂

Karen J. White
Community Member
2 years ago

Take that to the bank

Rylee Wolf
Community Member
2 years ago

What if you have allergies? :(

Dixie Tippette
Community Member
2 years ago

Tall Pike with room! 👏🏻😂

Steerio
Community Member
2 years ago

"Can I have an espresso, please?" - oh, damn.

Kimmo Kivelä
Community Member
2 years ago

Now that was good.

Burak Tekelioğlu
Community Member
2 years ago

this!

Thomas Stone
Community Member
2 years ago

"Just a large mocha" Yay, I'm not a problem c:

Luis Villarreal
Community Member
2 years ago

Black Coffee please!!! And you still have an extra word just in case!!!

Irene Wilkes
Community Member
2 years ago

Yep

Sophia S
Community Member
2 years ago

🙄

lovealways<3
Community Member
2 years ago

True

PARANOIDANDROID
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

you are part of the problem if you order coffee at all

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#6

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't need a reason to eat! I just looove food! ♥ When I'm eating, I'm fantacizing about my next meal! :D

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#7

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Erwin Sanz
Community Member
2 years ago

This is funny!!

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#8

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

Sadly, This seems like a pretty clever idea to me

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#9

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

And i'm proud of that

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#10

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Kelly Valenzuela
Community Member
2 years ago

....is finding a reason to shave my legs =P

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#11

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nanashi
Community Member
2 years ago

unfortunately true.

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#12

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Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

It's far better to be an asshole than an idiot.

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#13

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

So I can view them in the toilet?

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#14

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Daria B
Community Member
2 years ago

I ain't borrowing no shoes! ò_ó

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#15

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Marina Allemani (ReginaVeleno)
Community Member
2 years ago

Well... it's time to confess that ever since the word "selfie" surfaced, I thought of that in a NSFW way, and that made reading conversations about selfies creepily hilarious.

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#16

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Hope Floats
Community Member
2 years ago

Laughed out loud at this..Mainly because I agree 100%.

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#17

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Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

At least you are better than the neighbor.

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#18

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Erwin Sanz
Community Member
2 years ago

Haha

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#19

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

'I'm having a great day!' *sees poster* 'Nevermind.'

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#20

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

Good times ? Wth is that ?

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#21

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

High five dude !

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#22

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Pandola
Community Member
2 years ago

thank you

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#23

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lovealways<3
Community Member
2 years ago

Never!

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#24

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Ben Smith
Community Member
2 years ago

Hahahahah

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#25

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Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

Another solid, truthful advice.

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#26

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Griselle Lugo
Community Member
2 years ago

Thank youuuu!!!

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#27

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Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

Of course it does! Or it would not be such a git!

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#28

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Kristaps Sungailis
Community Member
2 years ago

This is good one! :)

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#29

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lovealways<3
Community Member
2 years ago

Bahahaha

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#30

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Erwin Sanz
Community Member
2 years ago

Hahaha

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#31

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Ok Ha-Neul
Community Member
2 years ago

some of my best friends are imaginary *cries*

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#32

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

Solitude is bliss, everytime

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#33

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Pandola
Community Member
2 years ago

it is...

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#34

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

Lifestyle of Grumpy Cat.

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#35

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Lazy Panda
Community Member
2 years ago

That quote just a little bit reminds me of RuPaul's drag race bc they were saying "If you can't love yourself how are you going to love someone else" idk I guess the connected just clicked even though both quotes are opposite almost :/

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#36

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KatJ
Community Member
2 years ago

And "Just running a quick errand, be gone for 5 minutes tops" is always a lie

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#37

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CatShatBrix
Community Member
2 years ago

Waking up from a nightmare to a nightmare...?

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#38

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Pandola
Community Member
2 years ago

pure wisdom...

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#39

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Juana
Community Member
2 years ago

I just can't.

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#40

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

Tbh, i really mean to do that

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#41

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Jazzy McSquishy-Buggs
Community Member
2 years ago

Hello food my old friend...

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#42

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Hisseefit
Community Member
2 years ago

I try to limit time with those who are energy vampires.

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#43

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Zori the degu
Community Member
2 years ago

Yeah, what's the difference anyway, you'd run either before, or after you miss the subway.

#44

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Griselle Lugo
Community Member
2 years ago

Thank you again!!

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#45

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago

Or eating

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#46

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

Because we always set high expectation

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#47

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Bisma Dewantara
Community Member
2 years ago

Just like my life, impossible goals that never reached. But i don't know why i'm still loving to dream it.

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#48

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Juana
Community Member
2 years ago

Oh this is my brother! He's always telling my mom and dad "happy birthday" or "happy anniversary" on his FB page. They never go on FB!

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#49

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rai mei
Community Member
2 years ago

this is true for those people who are like whores in social media

#50

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Nemo
Community Member
2 years ago

So true

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#51

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Joy Nawati
Community Member
2 years ago

Yeah.. that is so pretty true

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