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New Trend Of Wealthy Tradwives Showcases Them Doing Unnecessary Labor For Show
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New Trend Of Wealthy Tradwives Showcases Them Doing Unnecessary Labor For Show

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Feminism has evolved over the years, and women have transformed this movement into something that empowers them to do anything they feel is right for them and their families, even if it means focusing on motherhood and leaving their careers behind.

However, the new trend of “tradwife” appears to be taking advantage of that with its pretend representations of domestic bliss. These traditional wives can be seen making bread while barefoot in a floral dress or doing their hair and putting on makeup to spend the whole day cleaning.

Noticing the harmful effects of unrealistic depictions of stay-at-home women, professor of English Neil Shyminsky took this matter to TikTok. In the video, he explains why they put on such a performance without depicting what real domestic labor actually looks like.

Scroll down to find the full video and a conversation with its creator, Neil Shyminsky, who kindly agreed to tell us more about the trend of “tradwives.”

Recently, “tradwives” like Nara Smith started going viral on TikTok

Image credits: @professorneil

“I asked my toddlers what they wanted for breakfast and they both said cereal, so cereal it was, and we got started right away.”

This English professor made a TikTok in response to it, calling her actions performative

Image credits: @professorneil

“Have you ever asked yourself why it is that tradwives and other conservative female influencers who promote traditional gender roles have all the time in the world to make cereal from scratch, but somehow never seem to record themselves doing essential domestic labor like vacuuming, trying to get a particularly nasty stain out of a shirt or scrubbing a toilet when they are performing labor in these videos? ”

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Image credits: @professorneil

“It’s always something that, strictly speaking, is unnecessary and they are doing it the hardest way possible, because the answer is that it is for show. It is all a performance. ”

Image credits: @professorneil

“In his remarkably prescient 1899 book The Theory of the Leisure Class, Thorstein Veblen coined the terms conspicuous consumption and conspicuous leisure, suggesting that those with wealth and power, no longer having any economic production to contribute themselves, instead contribute to the production and consumption of leisure.

And those consumption practices, those leisure activities, are conspicuous precisely because that is how the leisure class signals their difference from the working class, signals their exceptionality and their superiority.

They’re not better than us because they can make their children’s cereal from scratch. They’re better than us because they are so wealthy and well-off that they have nothing more important to worry about. And if we were to ever see tradwives perform essential productive domestic labor or see their husbands perform any domestic labor at all, that would in fact mark them as failures as tradwives.”

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Image credits: @professorneil

“As Veblen wrote in 1899 – again, he could have written it yesterday – application to productive labor is a mark of poverty and subjection, it becomes inconsistent with a reputable standing in the community. Because these videos are not instructional. They’re maybe inspirational, but they are always performative. ”

“This is not real labor. This is symbolic labor, it is nothing more than social signaling that this woman and her family belong to the leisure class and it is also how she builds and signals her value if you are the sort of person who operates within an exchange economy that assigns high and low value to human beings.

Because her value to her husband is not in her ability to care for the home or care for the children, right? Anyone who is able to engage in this level of conspicuous leisure has somebody that they are paying to do all of those things. No, her value is instead in her ability to perform the role of trophy wife and to be the ultimate realization and personification of her husband’s socioeconomic prowess. Because tradwives are conspicuous consumers, yes, but it is the audience’s consumption of tradwives that truly makes them valuable to their husbands.”

@professorneil Tradwives are a part of the leisure class, no matter how much they pretend otherwise #tradwife #leisureclass #conspicuousconsumption #capitalism #patriarchy ♬ original sound – Professor Neil

The “tradwife” trend brings women back to the 1950s housewife—a stereotype that many of them worked so hard to break out of

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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)

For those who might be unfamiliar with this trend, the phrase “tradwife” is a combination of the words “traditional” and “wife” and refers to a female who favors a more “traditional” gender role that includes staying at home, looking after it, having children, and being dependent on the husband.

This ideology revolves around the 1950s housewife, embodying every stereotype of a woman that many of them worked so hard to break out of. This movement is largely composed of Christian, conservative millennial, and Gen Z women who are leaving the workforce and leaning into homemaking.

Some of them say that the demanding culture of corporate America has made them long for “simpler times.” Many believe in clearly defined gender roles, and a part of them wear 1950s-inspired clothing and style their hair with “Marilyn bobs.” As one of the wives, Estee Williams, tells Today, “It’s 2023, and this is my choice.”

What she says is true, as there’s nothing wrong with staying at home and raising children. However, the life of the 1950s housewife wasn’t as glamorous as they are now depicting it to be. Especially those who are making cereal from scratch and never show themselves vacuuming or scrubbing toilets.

Bored Panda reached out to professor Neil Shyminsky, whose video critiquing this trend went viral and currently has over 3.7 million views. Naturally, we were curious to know what inspired him to post such a response to the traditional wife aesthetic.

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He told us, “I make a lot of videos about gender, feminism, and patriarchy, so talking about the topic of tradwives is just a natural extension of my interests. One of the things that I find particularly problematic about the tradwife movement, in addition to its sexism, is that its practitioners are so very economically privileged—often, they’re actually very wealthy. And so they promote a lifestyle that’s virtually unattainable and entirely unrealistic, even for people who may be genuinely interested in pursuing it.”

This trend poses significant threats to feminism and gender equality

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Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

For some, it’s a way to be financially stable and embrace “traditional” family values, but for others, it spreads anti-feminism and far-right propaganda, which can have dangerous effects on the younger generation.

According to Shyminsky, “The trend is explicitly anti-feminist – it’s what we might call “backlash politics,”  which has a stated goal of undoing social progress and returning to an earlier, less equitable society.”

The trend is promoting one “proper choice” of life for women: putting authority in men’s hands and making themselves and their world smaller so that men can feel more important.

He further explains, “Of course, this also makes women more vulnerable and less prepared in the event that, at some point, they are on their own and lack the resources, supports, and skills to care for themselves and their family. (This is, of course, not a flaw of the tradwife movement and these traditionalist movements in general but rather it is the point – they don’t want women to be capable of caring for themselves because a capable woman might threaten the authority of her husband or even leave if she was dissatisfied.)”

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Shyminsky believes that such videos as Nara Smith’s can definitely be harmful, as they discourage women from achieving independence or building the skills that might allow them to care for themselves professionally, financially, and otherwise.

He also mentioned another reason for it: “But they’re also harmful because of what they simultaneously teach men about what makes a woman desirable – deference, quiet, devotion, modesty, and so on. These men are then encouraged and emboldened to pressure their partners and prospective partners to fit the mold that’s being defined by these influencers.”

This “tradwife” movement might have originated as a reaction to the times we’re living in, related to trans rights and other different developments that the conservative circle feels threatened by. A feminist writer, Virginia Mendez, believes that this idea spreading on social media just adds fuel to those who already feel uncomfortable with the progress of women and hundreds of years of feminist fights. “Tradwives are not an issue as an individual choice, but as a trend, it is pernicious and openly anti-feminist,” she concludes.

People expressed various reactions on the matter

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biljanamalesevic avatar
Bilja M
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in a poor country where majority of people are poor and can not survive on one income, sometimes not even on two. I tried to explain few times why this "trad wife movement" is unrealistic and quite damaging to women and men too, but every time some man attacked me verbally, and some were extremely mean and insulted me even though they had no idea who I am, explaining how true value of woman is to listen to man and be unable to leave him, ever. It's truly terrifying and especially since so many young women say they are "not feminists" without having any idea what feminism is. I give up. No more insults, I am done, do whatever you want, give up you freedom just to please men. I am sure it will pay off... not.

writevalda avatar
ValdaDeDieu
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Simply pleasing the system of Patriarchal white males never has worked; never will... As an INDIVIDUAL choice, Trad wife is fine. As a MODEL for all of us, Trad Wifeism is useless and a moral failing since it fails to take into account all the variables that have made it unworkable for everyone.

Load More Replies...
katar13 avatar
Elio
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is TikTok and it is performative. This guy does have a point that these people are wealthy or otherwise good at faking it. This is one reason why you get some delusional women who think being a trad wife on a farm is super fun instead of hard work. Plus there's the general hypocrisy of they make money off this while promoting a misogynistic attitude about women who have jobs.

thestupidopinion avatar
TheAmericanAmerican
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The TradWife thing is disgustingly regressive. It's for the right-wing brainwashed BOYS to fantasize about while they get more and more radicalized into the far-right with the final stage being a full-blown fascist. Actual adult men search for a PARTNER to SHARE their lives together with, not some slave to do their bidding. Ladies, if any guy mentions anything about "tradition" on the first date, RUN!

biljanamalesevic avatar
Bilja M
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

plus, I heard some of them saying that women should never be able to leave marriage, and this position keeps them trapped, even if marriage is abusive. It's for insecure men who want woman who behaves like 1950s commercial and can't escape.

Load More Replies...
sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem isn't that she likes cooking or that she's doing things from scratch. I watch plenty of YouTubers doing such things. It's the way they present it. A person who likes cooking or innocently want to show what they're passionate about, will not do so by starting the narrative that they're doing it spontaneous because the kids asked for homemade cereal. They'll present it differently. The narrative will be differently. That's why he's right about this specific influencer. It's the difference between a woman who likes to cook and a pick me girl. Those videos are not like the others from real housewives who want to show you that neat little ritual they have with their kids or those delicious pancakes everyone loves. They're definitely flaunting their wealth and leisure time by giving a narrative that suggests they do that every day because it's better than doing the normal things a working class woman would do because she has so little time.

mollywhuppie avatar
Molly Whuppie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah I watched a similar video on youtube not long ago, and it was pretty interesting. Said most of these trad wives also have degrees and career/business experience to fall back if the marriage ends, whereas younger women who may be getting married straight out of high school/college won't have that, and so that life is misleading for them in many ways.

samantha-hinson-sh avatar
Helena
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you got your degree 20 years ago and haven't been in the workforce for 10, your degree won't mean much.

Load More Replies...
kaitlynjordan avatar
Kitty Jordan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't mind it so much if they portrayed the risks associated with traditional gender roles as well as the "benefits". What if their husband dies and they have no job history, making it harder to get a job? What if their husband cheats on them and leaves them penniless? Many of these tradwives also give up all their rights to the money and thus leave themselves in risky positions for potential financial abuse. If people make an informed decision to be a tradwife, then okay. But to portray it as this Norman Rockwell fantasy is extremely misleading, to me.

vmblessing avatar
Verena
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do you. No problem to be a stay at home wife and mum if you really, really want it. Be well aware of that widows pensions may be a lot less than that what hubby brought home. Look it up, then make your choice of not learning a trade and get some working experience. Second, when propagating a life of a stay-at-home wife, be clear about the background to deliver a true picture. Making own cereal is great. The problem is rather that a lot of younger people don't understand the complete story by themselves. If you are 14, you might not realise that this has to be squeezed in between a trillion of other chores - unless you have staff doing the less fun things for you. Most likely your kitchen and you will not look so tidy. And I doubt that making cereal from scratch stays fun to do if you have to do it every morning.

savannahnewman avatar
Montanavanna
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a stay at home mom and an accomplished cook. I worked in food service my whole life up until we decided I would stay home with the kids while hubby worked. I cook elaborate things from time to time. It is not glamorous and how the hell is she staying so clean while cooking? I also gotta say, I do not miss working. People just gotta figure out what works in their life and that is of no concern to me. You do you boo

mhumphri avatar
Megan Humphries
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am going to go with if you want to do things that, to me, are not worth the effort, that is fine. The problem comes when many of these people perpetuate that everyone can and should be just like them. As the article and comments here have said, this is ultimately for the camera and reactions. It is like how everyone feels they need to go all out on elaborate parties because of social media. If you can and want to, go right ahead, but people should not feel bad if theirs is different.

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I want to see the video of her cleaning up the mess after cooking cereal from scratch 😂

equine_job avatar
Anony Mouse
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please put "tiktok" in the title so we know not to click on it. I've noticed BP is pulling yet another buzzfeed and changing the titles throughout the day to maximize clicks. But seriously - just stop posting effing tiktoks. They are awful.

dawn_bodtke avatar
Dawn Bodtke
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Good Grief people. This person is an influencer, it's all posing, ignore it. How a couple divides up their marital chores is up to them. All the trad-wife's stuff I see is because they want that role. I will stay out of your marriage and you stay out of mine. Just invite me to the BBQ!

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another excuse to hate on women and their choices.

bodin-suleiman avatar
Bodin Suleiman
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another stupid TikTok post of some idiot sticking their fat ugly faces into their phone cameras and pointing. Stop with this garbage.

biljanamalesevic avatar
Bilja M
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live in a poor country where majority of people are poor and can not survive on one income, sometimes not even on two. I tried to explain few times why this "trad wife movement" is unrealistic and quite damaging to women and men too, but every time some man attacked me verbally, and some were extremely mean and insulted me even though they had no idea who I am, explaining how true value of woman is to listen to man and be unable to leave him, ever. It's truly terrifying and especially since so many young women say they are "not feminists" without having any idea what feminism is. I give up. No more insults, I am done, do whatever you want, give up you freedom just to please men. I am sure it will pay off... not.

writevalda avatar
ValdaDeDieu
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Simply pleasing the system of Patriarchal white males never has worked; never will... As an INDIVIDUAL choice, Trad wife is fine. As a MODEL for all of us, Trad Wifeism is useless and a moral failing since it fails to take into account all the variables that have made it unworkable for everyone.

Load More Replies...
katar13 avatar
Elio
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is TikTok and it is performative. This guy does have a point that these people are wealthy or otherwise good at faking it. This is one reason why you get some delusional women who think being a trad wife on a farm is super fun instead of hard work. Plus there's the general hypocrisy of they make money off this while promoting a misogynistic attitude about women who have jobs.

thestupidopinion avatar
TheAmericanAmerican
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The TradWife thing is disgustingly regressive. It's for the right-wing brainwashed BOYS to fantasize about while they get more and more radicalized into the far-right with the final stage being a full-blown fascist. Actual adult men search for a PARTNER to SHARE their lives together with, not some slave to do their bidding. Ladies, if any guy mentions anything about "tradition" on the first date, RUN!

biljanamalesevic avatar
Bilja M
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

plus, I heard some of them saying that women should never be able to leave marriage, and this position keeps them trapped, even if marriage is abusive. It's for insecure men who want woman who behaves like 1950s commercial and can't escape.

Load More Replies...
sonja_6 avatar
Sonja
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem isn't that she likes cooking or that she's doing things from scratch. I watch plenty of YouTubers doing such things. It's the way they present it. A person who likes cooking or innocently want to show what they're passionate about, will not do so by starting the narrative that they're doing it spontaneous because the kids asked for homemade cereal. They'll present it differently. The narrative will be differently. That's why he's right about this specific influencer. It's the difference between a woman who likes to cook and a pick me girl. Those videos are not like the others from real housewives who want to show you that neat little ritual they have with their kids or those delicious pancakes everyone loves. They're definitely flaunting their wealth and leisure time by giving a narrative that suggests they do that every day because it's better than doing the normal things a working class woman would do because she has so little time.

mollywhuppie avatar
Molly Whuppie
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah I watched a similar video on youtube not long ago, and it was pretty interesting. Said most of these trad wives also have degrees and career/business experience to fall back if the marriage ends, whereas younger women who may be getting married straight out of high school/college won't have that, and so that life is misleading for them in many ways.

samantha-hinson-sh avatar
Helena
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you got your degree 20 years ago and haven't been in the workforce for 10, your degree won't mean much.

Load More Replies...
kaitlynjordan avatar
Kitty Jordan
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't mind it so much if they portrayed the risks associated with traditional gender roles as well as the "benefits". What if their husband dies and they have no job history, making it harder to get a job? What if their husband cheats on them and leaves them penniless? Many of these tradwives also give up all their rights to the money and thus leave themselves in risky positions for potential financial abuse. If people make an informed decision to be a tradwife, then okay. But to portray it as this Norman Rockwell fantasy is extremely misleading, to me.

vmblessing avatar
Verena
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do you. No problem to be a stay at home wife and mum if you really, really want it. Be well aware of that widows pensions may be a lot less than that what hubby brought home. Look it up, then make your choice of not learning a trade and get some working experience. Second, when propagating a life of a stay-at-home wife, be clear about the background to deliver a true picture. Making own cereal is great. The problem is rather that a lot of younger people don't understand the complete story by themselves. If you are 14, you might not realise that this has to be squeezed in between a trillion of other chores - unless you have staff doing the less fun things for you. Most likely your kitchen and you will not look so tidy. And I doubt that making cereal from scratch stays fun to do if you have to do it every morning.

savannahnewman avatar
Montanavanna
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am a stay at home mom and an accomplished cook. I worked in food service my whole life up until we decided I would stay home with the kids while hubby worked. I cook elaborate things from time to time. It is not glamorous and how the hell is she staying so clean while cooking? I also gotta say, I do not miss working. People just gotta figure out what works in their life and that is of no concern to me. You do you boo

mhumphri avatar
Megan Humphries
Community Member
2 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am going to go with if you want to do things that, to me, are not worth the effort, that is fine. The problem comes when many of these people perpetuate that everyone can and should be just like them. As the article and comments here have said, this is ultimately for the camera and reactions. It is like how everyone feels they need to go all out on elaborate parties because of social media. If you can and want to, go right ahead, but people should not feel bad if theirs is different.

rhodaguirreparras avatar
Pittsburgh rare
Community Member
1 month ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I want to see the video of her cleaning up the mess after cooking cereal from scratch 😂

equine_job avatar
Anony Mouse
Community Member
2 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please put "tiktok" in the title so we know not to click on it. I've noticed BP is pulling yet another buzzfeed and changing the titles throughout the day to maximize clicks. But seriously - just stop posting effing tiktoks. They are awful.

dawn_bodtke avatar
Dawn Bodtke
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Good Grief people. This person is an influencer, it's all posing, ignore it. How a couple divides up their marital chores is up to them. All the trad-wife's stuff I see is because they want that role. I will stay out of your marriage and you stay out of mine. Just invite me to the BBQ!

miriamemendelson avatar
Mimi M
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another excuse to hate on women and their choices.

bodin-suleiman avatar
Bodin Suleiman
Community Member
2 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Another stupid TikTok post of some idiot sticking their fat ugly faces into their phone cameras and pointing. Stop with this garbage.

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