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Woman Tired Of Constant Thanksgiving Drama With MIL, Decides To Avoid Her But Family Is Unhappy
Thanksgiving should be a time of celebration. It’s the one day of the year when people get together and express gratitude alongside the people they care about the most.
But for some families, it’s a time when drama and conflict are at their peak. This woman knows that feeling all too well, having dealt with her overbearing mother-in-law, who had ruined the holiday for her in previous years.
Things got so heated one year that she had to set her boundaries to protect her peace. Unfortunately, her decision only made those around her unhappy, leaving her wallowing in guilt.
RELATED:
Despite the festive atmosphere, Thanksgiving can still spark some heated family drama
Image credits: vh-studio (not the actual image)
For this woman, the issue was with her overbearing mother-in-law
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual image)
Their problems had been going on for years, also around the holidays
Image credits: bokodi (not the actual image)
Fed up, she finally decided to stand her ground
Image credits: Wavebreak Media (not the actual image)
However, her actions didn’t sit well with her side of the family
Image credits: roseypaige
Unmet and unmanaged expectations are a common source of stress during the holidays
The woman didn’t give a definite reason for her mother-in-law’s stress ahead of Thanksgiving. According to relationship expert Dr. Terri Orbuch, it’s often due to expectations that suddenly don’t go our way.
“We think this should be a perfect time, the food will be perfect, and our conversations will be respectful,” Dr. Orbuch said in an interview with Popular Science, noting that frustrations often arise when expectations and reality don’t match.
But sometimes, just being in the same room with family can already spark some tension. According to California State University psychology professor Dr. Pamela Regan, there comes a point when families return to the old, toxic behavioral paradigms.
“Because conflict is a normal part of relationships, the closer you are, and the more you self-disclose, the more you hear things you don’t like,” she said in the same interview.
Of course, there are ways to avoid conflict and stress during what is supposed to be a festive time. According to Psychology Today, accepting situations for their imperfections is one effective approach.
“Part of attaining happiness is appreciating what is,” an excerpt from the article reads.
However, the woman had been forgiving and tolerant toward her mother-in-law, who made her feel like she and her family were the least-preferred guests. Her decision to put her foot down after feeling foolish and unwanted was within reason.
Most people in the comments sided with her
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Kate Johnson 9 hours ago
First of all, your husband is absolutely worthless. Why is he bending over backward for this manipulative woman at the expense of his actual family? I would tell hubby that we are NEVER going to spend the holidays with his family again. Far too much nonsense for little return. There's an old saying, "there's not enough juice in that squeeze". As long as you tolerate the nasty narc behavior, nothing will ever change. And what a terrible example to your children.
The Other Guest 1 hour ago
I almost laughed when OP said she didn't want to rock the boat. MIL is already rocking it. OP has just decided she's not going to leap from side-to-side trying to keep it steady anymore, and good on her for doing so.
Kate Johnson 9 hours ago
First of all, your husband is absolutely worthless. Why is he bending over backward for this manipulative woman at the expense of his actual family? I would tell hubby that we are NEVER going to spend the holidays with his family again. Far too much nonsense for little return. There's an old saying, "there's not enough juice in that squeeze". As long as you tolerate the nasty narc behavior, nothing will ever change. And what a terrible example to your children.
The Other Guest 1 hour ago
I almost laughed when OP said she didn't want to rock the boat. MIL is already rocking it. OP has just decided she's not going to leap from side-to-side trying to keep it steady anymore, and good on her for doing so.
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