“This Baby Is 0% My Responsibility”: Pregnant Teen Gets Kicked Out From Mom’s House
We want to raise children who ultimately become able to make their own choices. However, in a recent post on the subreddit r/AITAH, one woman revealed that she feels like her 19-year-old is throwing her life away and there’s nothing she can do about it.
The woman said her teenager got involved with a guy she doesn’t approve of, and if that wasn’t enough, she also got pregnant. Adamant about keeping the baby, the daughter is ready to give up her studies and completely devote herself to her partner and their child.
This mother just learned that her teenage daughter got pregnant
Image credits: Ben White (not the actual photo)
So she tried to convince her to have an abortion
Image credits: Commercial_Ebb9099
So far, it’s unclear how the situation will play out
Image credits: Amr Taha™ (not the actual photo)
When a child is born, their birth certificate names their parents — this marks the beginning of their parental responsibility.
Parents have to provide for their children, including food, clothing, shelter, and other basic needs as well as education and medical care. They must ensure their child’s physical safety and emotional well-being.
Failing to do so can lead to neglect or abuse charges in most cases.
However, many moms and dads continue to look after their kids in one way or another well after their 18th birthday, and giving them a roof over their heads is one of the most common contributions.
In fact, according to a Harris Poll survey, these days, about 23 million, or 45%, of all Americans ages 18 to 29 are living with family, roughly the same level as in the 1940s, a time when women were more likely to remain at home until marriage and men too were lingering on family farms in the aftermath of the Great Depression.
41% say they do so to save money and 30% claim they can’t even afford to live on their own.
While in many states the “age of majority” for children is 18, this can be extended. In New York, for example, people can continue to receive child support until they are 21 years old.
So the mom may be able to evict the teen, but she could still be on the hook for her financially if the girl can prove she is unable to support herself.
People have had questions for the mother
But most of them believe she’s not being unreasonable
Some shared their own similar stories
OP isn't an AH for the stance on the pregnancy, but is very much an AH for the comments on bartenders. Contribute nothing useful to society? They make people happy. Is that not useful? Either way, it's work and I automatically dislike people who disparage careers as "not good enough." OP showed herself to be insufferable with that little comment, and I bet that came out in how she raised her kid too.
She sounds like some kind of business woman. Especially when she mentioned that she has a career. And then looks down on every service jobs she considers as less important
Load More Replies...
This all seems reasonable to me. Not sure I'd make the same decision, but 19 is an adult, and raising the baby is a choice. It's not as if she's developed and illness or became disabled. She s choosing a path that would completely upend her mother's life. It's reasonable to say you need a plan. If you're mature enough to raise a child, you're mature enough to sort out the basics. If you are unable to figure this out as a parental team, you aren't ready to raise a child together.
My father thought the same. He told me to get an abortion, or give the baby up. He thought I was throwing my life away. I refused, and gave birth to my lovely daughter. He has spent the whole of my daughter's life, almost 30 years, trying to make up for what he said after I told him I was expecting. He loves her dearly, and despite what he said then, he is proud of me for standing my ground. Mom in the story can say what she wants, and it is her house - she doesn't have to share, but she shouldn't be surprised that her daughter won't talk to her right now. And while you may think the "poor silly girl" is ruining her life, you are judging someone without knowing them. It might be bad, but then again, it might be the best thing that ever happens to this young lady.
Load More Replies...
Coming at this from another angle, I'm surprised by how she describes 'normal grandparents stuff' - "show up at birthday parties, ... buy gifts here and there, but that's it." To me, that is right at the bare minimum of grandparenting. It's one stage up from being your parent's 'genetic material donor'. I cherish the relationship I had with my Grandma. We'd play, we'd bake, we'd do jigsaw, we'd talk, we'd spend time enjoying being together. She was so much more than someone who turned up for birthday parties, and gave gifts here and there.
Grandparents are one of the most important persons in a life. It is not about gifts. It is about giving love to your grandchild, learning to discover the world, doing things together... You were lucky with your grandma, I was also lucky with mine.
Load More Replies... Not sure where she is, just insurance comments imply US. It's not the norm in the US to raise children in your parents home. Multi generational homes exist, but aren't the default so it is unreasonable to expect it in the way you would in some places. Parents are being generous allowing her to stay while at school, but that's a different agreement than to having a baby in the house. Thee daughter sounds like she is not taking responsibility for her choices. Doesn't sound like she's ready for motherhood.
I agree with your sentiments, but I do want to point out that, with the economy being as it is these days, it’s becoming the norm for adult children to live with their parents/move back in with their parents - at least in the areas where CoL is high. Our neighbors aren’t much older than I am (50s; I’m 42) and their pregnant daughter and son-in-law recently moved in with them because they literally cannot find affordable housing. The daughter and her husband both work, and they’re not dirt-poor, but I live in Southern California. Even teeny homes can cost $1mil-ish here.
Load More Replies...
I had this discussion with my daughter at 16... explained what her responsibilities (and choices) would be if she ever got pregnant (and that I would not be raising another baby in my home). And I gave her options for birth control. Open communication is important for all teens prior to them getting into romantic relationships. My daughter knows that I will always support her in her goals, but I won't be saddled with her responsibilities.
Exactly this: This pregnant daughter's mom also got pregnant with 19... but it was all fine because she was already married to the father, who was a soldier??!!! TFW??? I have to assume that any kind of reasonable birth-control, despite those ridiculous prayers and advice to "pull-out", were never discussed in this family! So yes, it's also the mother's fault, as she failed to give her daughter a proper sex-ed since she'd reached the "ripe" age of ten (which is already late). Plus points however that the mom seems not to be a religious twat who raises hell by considering other options!
Load More Replies...
Although OP sounds a little cold, she DOES have a point. Her daughter made the decision to hook up with a man of low degree, and as a result, is carrying his child. Poor, foolish girl. What guarantee does she have that "Prince Charming" will: 1) marry her, 2) seek a better-paying job, 3) take care of her and their child, or 4) not hop on the next Greyhound, seeking greener pastures? She's better off going to Social Services than playing THAT gamble.
"Man of low degree"? He is at least working. I agree the woman can choose if they live with her or not, but that does not mean they will fail. My sister had her children at 19 and 23, raised them, bought property and made sure they had university education. Age, or station in life, is no reason to be a snob. Marriage works because you work together to make it successful.
Load More Replies...
I read the bartender comment as an assessment of current income. It's a normal job for someone in their 20s but not enough to support a family and not a job where it's expected he will increase earnings. Together the new parents can't afford a place of their own, or are unwilling to live where they can afford. How are they going to manage all the expenses of raising a child? How are they going to get health care? Obviously it's terrible this should be a concern, but before you decide to raise the baby, these are concerns you should address. The very basic requirement for a child is shelter, and if you can't figure even that out, what kind parent are you? Expecting others to pick up your slack. This isn't a family that has fallen on hard times, this is deciding to start a family without basic amenities.
I beg to differ my bff is a bartender and makes bank
Load More Replies...
Daughter may yet turn into a good mother, but she needs to step up.
You can not expect your daughter to abort her child. Abortion is a free choice, having a baby is also a free choice. Even when her relationship boyfriend will not last, you have to learn her how to be a responsible mother. Don't push away, learn her how to be a good mum. She's nineteen, she can make her own choices but she still needs love from her mother.
I got pregnant at 19 and my husband and I went between his moms house and my mom’s house. We grew up fast he got his CDL and I went into college . We moved out when our baby was a year old to our own place. Throughout the years we’ve have 3 more kids, built a home on a good amount of land, got married, I graduated, and I’m about to start back up a work this next school year. My husband and I have been together for 11 years now, married for 8. None of what we made happen would have been possible without the support of our mother’s helping us (giving us a place to continue living) when we were younger. We grew up and became responsible and I could never thank either one enough for their support during that time period in our lives. No one bought our son his diapers, formula etc we did, no one watched him day in and day out when they did it was because they offered not me asking. Sounds like she has a daughter that has great potential but a baby doesn’t always ruin someone’s life.
But to drop out of school to have a baby with an apparent loser (not for bartending, that part is weird) who has already let her daughter down multiple times before, who plans on moving his happy a*s in as well? OP is definitely NTA for refusing to have an adult man she is uncomfortable with living in her home just because he managed to knock up her daughter. You don't mention your parents actively disliking your husband and his relationship with you long before you got pregnant, but I'm guessing by the participation of his own mother in helping to provide for your young family that he is a decent sort who comes from good people. OP's daughter's baby-daddy doesn't sound like he's got that going for him.
Load More Replies...
OP is TA for the bartender comment and then the double-down. Don't blame her for the lack of enthusiasm for having to raise her grandchild (which she would undoubtedly be expected to do to some degree once her daughter realised that parenthood is not as easy as she thinks)
Stick to your gund mom. The daughter has made her bed you don't need to support her.
Wow about the attitude on bartenders - some people don't have the good fortune of being able to get a job with health etc and from what I've heard it's good money! What a AH
How about helping mom, dad and baby out? Get everyone together and discuss what all of the choices and options are. Help new dad get work and education. Mom can have baby and go to school if it's what she wants. Don't push, be patient. Help provide a home if you can afford it. Everything will turn out better when everyone supports one another. Really. This new baby belongs to everyone and deserves love and support from everyone. Isn't there enough punishment and pain in this world? Let's try kindness.
Girlie is a whole a*s adult. She’s not a teen, she’s 19 not 16. Get a job and move out.
Nineteen is still a teen, the clue's in the spelling.
Load More Replies...
What is with teenagers and young adults expecting their parents to support their kids? When did that become a thing? Mum is a snob about bartenders. But she's being reasonable with her daughter. She is not responsible for the girl's choices. If the girl cannot find a situation in which she can raise her child, then she has to choose adoption or abortion. You are not entitled to have your parents pay for your kids. I'm guessing that boyfriend saw wealthy parents and saw a nice situation for himself if he knocked the girl up.
She had me until the comments about bartenders... I agree that the daughter needs to learn the truth about the cost of raising a child on their own, but she clearly dislikes this guy because he's a bartender. At least he has a job and isn't living off handouts from the government.
When people try to make their problem your problem. Nope. You know it all? Good. Figure it out.
The sentiment and premise NTA, the wording, attitude and the low class insults.. yeah shes TA and pretty trashy herself.
If OP lets daughter, baby + BF stay, she'll never get them out. Daughter's choosing to have this baby. Daughter is responsible for it, not OP - it's not OP's baby.
So the lovely people on the internet heavily criticize someone for telling a child that they have to leave home at 18 (and rightfully so), but it's perfectly okay if the child is 19 and pregnant? Am I the only who thinks this is inconsistent? The mother sounds horribly self-centered to me.
I'm torn here. I got pregnant at 16, baby was born just after I turned 17. My mother kicked me out, and life was very difficult and challenging after that. I think things could have turned out much better if we'd been supported. But - this girl is 19 and has a partner. Couldn't they together be able to manage a baby?
In America? The least the filthy rich mother can do is throw money at it.
Load More Replies...
Better kick her out soon enough for her to get an abortion after baby daddy ditches her when he finds out his plan to get a better place to stay fell through.
I had my daughter at 19 and my mother threw us out. 6 months later, I met the man I was married to for 23 years of severe trauma and loss - due to a chronc genetic illness I inherited from my mother. When my husband died, and certain my daughter and I had been left destitute, the only contact we received from anyone in my family was an angry 'we told you so' graduation letter from my mother and brother...the same mother and brother writing a few years later to request 'donations' for the first baby shower of his eldest son, just turned 20. My grandson had just received the second of his trust payments at about that time, so it was his pleasure to treat the boy. It's amazing how much they love the remarkable young man he turned out to be.
Yeah, this is a tough one! The daughter is way off-base in thinking that she can choose to have the baby and Mom will bend over backwards to make it work...on the other hand, declaring that your pregnant daughter will, if she chooses to keep the pregnancy, receive *less* financial and practical support than she did before, is...not exactly A+ parenting, either. It comes through pretty clearly that the mother is being so harsh in the hopes that the daughter will give in and do what Mom thinks best (terminate or give the baby up). And I agree with the Mom that either of those options would be more sensible than "drop out of college at 19 to have a baby with a marginally-employed baby-daddy." But on the other hand, she's *really* setting a tone for what her adult relationship with the daughter is going to be like. And if that's the tone she's sure she wants to set, then okay....
...but if she comes back 5 or 10 years down the line and is like, "Oh, I don't know why Daughter and I aren't close, we used to be close"--bless your heart, sweetie, you *do* know why; it's how you went straight to "my way or the highway" the first time she had a big-girl grown-up decision to make.
Load More Replies...
Sounds like she's mimicking his behavior and talking back when normally she wouldn't. Her body her choice but your home. Not more parents put their feet down about these kids thinking mom n dad or gram and gramps will raise my kids while I still go do my life they would really wake up. This isn't the early 2000 of Maury and who's your daddy rebellious kids. She's a barely adult with no idea what is coming along if she goes through this. Maybe sit them both down and tell them to shut up and tell them your story. Then say you guys need to gtfo of my home and decide what's going on. The "inn" is closed like her legs should have been. Wouldn't surprise me if he had other kids too or gfs on the side.
OP is a trying desperately to p*ss everyone off, and she can't get the whipping she wants. 'No no darling, hush, you're a good girl!' 'But I need y'all to hate me! I'm a middle aged woman refusing to mammy, hate me!'
Yeah what if it's rage bait. She reminds me of Guurtje, an arrogant twat played by a guy with a wig who goes to the hairdresser and he asks if her husband is a hairdresser. No of course not. Who marries a hair dresser? At the end he's so fed up that he kicks her out. https://youtu.be/nGU6edkaV0E?si=aUXyOa-ohcAie6Yd
Load More Replies...
Babysitting (within reason) IS part of being à grand-parent IMHO. The fun part: you take them, you play with them and then you give them back. In French it's called "Chic! Ouf!" (Yeah! Phew!, as you say when they arrive, and then when they leave 😇) OP seems to want no part of her grandkid, not even that one, and it's a bit sad.
No, babysitting is NOT automatically part of “being a grandparent”. Not every culture forces parents to babysit their children’s children.
Load More Replies...
I say this as a 19 year old parent who is now 45 with a 26 year old and an 18 year old and, damn. This woman is worse than any of the grandparents of my kids. It happened. Your child is pregnant. You are going to be a grandparent. And instead of acknowledging how difficult it was for you as a 19 year old, you decided to make your own child's situation 10 times worse.
The "child" put herself in this situation and the mother has no obligstion whatsoever to suffer the consequences of her daughters stupidity
Load More Replies...
I guess to each their own, but I'd feel like a complete awful parent to boot my kid out of the house if they got pregnant. Talk about massive abuse! "Here, I don't give a s**t if you live or die. Gtfo of my home with that spawn I never want to see or babysit for. I don't care if you''ll need to become a prostitute or d**g dealer to be able to survive. Just gtfo of my home, you dirty whore." - OP to her daughter. That b******l thing never deserved to have kids if thats how she treats her own flesh and blood when the kid gets into serious trouble. Wtf. Some people don't deserve to have kids or to call themselfs 'parent'.
If the boyfriend was well off, there would be no need for this dicussion as he could afford a home and to provide for his girlfriend and Baby, and nit expect her mother to do that. Refusing to Surfer the consequences of your adult daughters choice does not make you a classist hypocrite. She is just smart enough not to let other people choices dictate
Load More Replies... 
Ah, now I was thinking she was working class who had managed to claw up to some level of so-called respectability and comfortable living, and doesn't want to slip back down
Load More Replies...
OP isn't an AH for the stance on the pregnancy, but is very much an AH for the comments on bartenders. Contribute nothing useful to society? They make people happy. Is that not useful? Either way, it's work and I automatically dislike people who disparage careers as "not good enough." OP showed herself to be insufferable with that little comment, and I bet that came out in how she raised her kid too.
She sounds like some kind of business woman. Especially when she mentioned that she has a career. And then looks down on every service jobs she considers as less important
Load More Replies... This all seems reasonable to me. Not sure I'd make the same decision, but 19 is an adult, and raising the baby is a choice. It's not as if she's developed and illness or became disabled. She s choosing a path that would completely upend her mother's life. It's reasonable to say you need a plan. If you're mature enough to raise a child, you're mature enough to sort out the basics. If you are unable to figure this out as a parental team, you aren't ready to raise a child together.
My father thought the same. He told me to get an abortion, or give the baby up. He thought I was throwing my life away. I refused, and gave birth to my lovely daughter. He has spent the whole of my daughter's life, almost 30 years, trying to make up for what he said after I told him I was expecting. He loves her dearly, and despite what he said then, he is proud of me for standing my ground. Mom in the story can say what she wants, and it is her house - she doesn't have to share, but she shouldn't be surprised that her daughter won't talk to her right now. And while you may think the "poor silly girl" is ruining her life, you are judging someone without knowing them. It might be bad, but then again, it might be the best thing that ever happens to this young lady.
Load More Replies... Coming at this from another angle, I'm surprised by how she describes 'normal grandparents stuff' - "show up at birthday parties, ... buy gifts here and there, but that's it." To me, that is right at the bare minimum of grandparenting. It's one stage up from being your parent's 'genetic material donor'. I cherish the relationship I had with my Grandma. We'd play, we'd bake, we'd do jigsaw, we'd talk, we'd spend time enjoying being together. She was so much more than someone who turned up for birthday parties, and gave gifts here and there.
Grandparents are one of the most important persons in a life. It is not about gifts. It is about giving love to your grandchild, learning to discover the world, doing things together... You were lucky with your grandma, I was also lucky with mine.
Load More Replies... Not sure where she is, just insurance comments imply US. It's not the norm in the US to raise children in your parents home. Multi generational homes exist, but aren't the default so it is unreasonable to expect it in the way you would in some places. Parents are being generous allowing her to stay while at school, but that's a different agreement than to having a baby in the house. Thee daughter sounds like she is not taking responsibility for her choices. Doesn't sound like she's ready for motherhood.
I agree with your sentiments, but I do want to point out that, with the economy being as it is these days, it’s becoming the norm for adult children to live with their parents/move back in with their parents - at least in the areas where CoL is high. Our neighbors aren’t much older than I am (50s; I’m 42) and their pregnant daughter and son-in-law recently moved in with them because they literally cannot find affordable housing. The daughter and her husband both work, and they’re not dirt-poor, but I live in Southern California. Even teeny homes can cost $1mil-ish here.
Load More Replies... I had this discussion with my daughter at 16... explained what her responsibilities (and choices) would be if she ever got pregnant (and that I would not be raising another baby in my home). And I gave her options for birth control. Open communication is important for all teens prior to them getting into romantic relationships. My daughter knows that I will always support her in her goals, but I won't be saddled with her responsibilities.
Exactly this: This pregnant daughter's mom also got pregnant with 19... but it was all fine because she was already married to the father, who was a soldier??!!! TFW??? I have to assume that any kind of reasonable birth-control, despite those ridiculous prayers and advice to "pull-out", were never discussed in this family! So yes, it's also the mother's fault, as she failed to give her daughter a proper sex-ed since she'd reached the "ripe" age of ten (which is already late). Plus points however that the mom seems not to be a religious twat who raises hell by considering other options!
Load More Replies... Although OP sounds a little cold, she DOES have a point. Her daughter made the decision to hook up with a man of low degree, and as a result, is carrying his child. Poor, foolish girl. What guarantee does she have that "Prince Charming" will: 1) marry her, 2) seek a better-paying job, 3) take care of her and their child, or 4) not hop on the next Greyhound, seeking greener pastures? She's better off going to Social Services than playing THAT gamble.
"Man of low degree"? He is at least working. I agree the woman can choose if they live with her or not, but that does not mean they will fail. My sister had her children at 19 and 23, raised them, bought property and made sure they had university education. Age, or station in life, is no reason to be a snob. Marriage works because you work together to make it successful.
Load More Replies... I read the bartender comment as an assessment of current income. It's a normal job for someone in their 20s but not enough to support a family and not a job where it's expected he will increase earnings. Together the new parents can't afford a place of their own, or are unwilling to live where they can afford. How are they going to manage all the expenses of raising a child? How are they going to get health care? Obviously it's terrible this should be a concern, but before you decide to raise the baby, these are concerns you should address. The very basic requirement for a child is shelter, and if you can't figure even that out, what kind parent are you? Expecting others to pick up your slack. This isn't a family that has fallen on hard times, this is deciding to start a family without basic amenities.
I beg to differ my bff is a bartender and makes bank
Load More Replies... Daughter may yet turn into a good mother, but she needs to step up.
You can not expect your daughter to abort her child. Abortion is a free choice, having a baby is also a free choice. Even when her relationship boyfriend will not last, you have to learn her how to be a responsible mother. Don't push away, learn her how to be a good mum. She's nineteen, she can make her own choices but she still needs love from her mother.
I got pregnant at 19 and my husband and I went between his moms house and my mom’s house. We grew up fast he got his CDL and I went into college . We moved out when our baby was a year old to our own place. Throughout the years we’ve have 3 more kids, built a home on a good amount of land, got married, I graduated, and I’m about to start back up a work this next school year. My husband and I have been together for 11 years now, married for 8. None of what we made happen would have been possible without the support of our mother’s helping us (giving us a place to continue living) when we were younger. We grew up and became responsible and I could never thank either one enough for their support during that time period in our lives. No one bought our son his diapers, formula etc we did, no one watched him day in and day out when they did it was because they offered not me asking. Sounds like she has a daughter that has great potential but a baby doesn’t always ruin someone’s life.
But to drop out of school to have a baby with an apparent loser (not for bartending, that part is weird) who has already let her daughter down multiple times before, who plans on moving his happy a*s in as well? OP is definitely NTA for refusing to have an adult man she is uncomfortable with living in her home just because he managed to knock up her daughter. You don't mention your parents actively disliking your husband and his relationship with you long before you got pregnant, but I'm guessing by the participation of his own mother in helping to provide for your young family that he is a decent sort who comes from good people. OP's daughter's baby-daddy doesn't sound like he's got that going for him.
Load More Replies... OP is TA for the bartender comment and then the double-down. Don't blame her for the lack of enthusiasm for having to raise her grandchild (which she would undoubtedly be expected to do to some degree once her daughter realised that parenthood is not as easy as she thinks)
Stick to your gund mom. The daughter has made her bed you don't need to support her.
Wow about the attitude on bartenders - some people don't have the good fortune of being able to get a job with health etc and from what I've heard it's good money! What a AH
How about helping mom, dad and baby out? Get everyone together and discuss what all of the choices and options are. Help new dad get work and education. Mom can have baby and go to school if it's what she wants. Don't push, be patient. Help provide a home if you can afford it. Everything will turn out better when everyone supports one another. Really. This new baby belongs to everyone and deserves love and support from everyone. Isn't there enough punishment and pain in this world? Let's try kindness.
Girlie is a whole a*s adult. She’s not a teen, she’s 19 not 16. Get a job and move out.
Nineteen is still a teen, the clue's in the spelling.
Load More Replies... What is with teenagers and young adults expecting their parents to support their kids? When did that become a thing? Mum is a snob about bartenders. But she's being reasonable with her daughter. She is not responsible for the girl's choices. If the girl cannot find a situation in which she can raise her child, then she has to choose adoption or abortion. You are not entitled to have your parents pay for your kids. I'm guessing that boyfriend saw wealthy parents and saw a nice situation for himself if he knocked the girl up.
She had me until the comments about bartenders... I agree that the daughter needs to learn the truth about the cost of raising a child on their own, but she clearly dislikes this guy because he's a bartender. At least he has a job and isn't living off handouts from the government.
When people try to make their problem your problem. Nope. You know it all? Good. Figure it out.
The sentiment and premise NTA, the wording, attitude and the low class insults.. yeah shes TA and pretty trashy herself.
If OP lets daughter, baby + BF stay, she'll never get them out. Daughter's choosing to have this baby. Daughter is responsible for it, not OP - it's not OP's baby.
So the lovely people on the internet heavily criticize someone for telling a child that they have to leave home at 18 (and rightfully so), but it's perfectly okay if the child is 19 and pregnant? Am I the only who thinks this is inconsistent? The mother sounds horribly self-centered to me.
I'm torn here. I got pregnant at 16, baby was born just after I turned 17. My mother kicked me out, and life was very difficult and challenging after that. I think things could have turned out much better if we'd been supported. But - this girl is 19 and has a partner. Couldn't they together be able to manage a baby?
In America? The least the filthy rich mother can do is throw money at it.
Load More Replies... Better kick her out soon enough for her to get an abortion after baby daddy ditches her when he finds out his plan to get a better place to stay fell through.
I had my daughter at 19 and my mother threw us out. 6 months later, I met the man I was married to for 23 years of severe trauma and loss - due to a chronc genetic illness I inherited from my mother. When my husband died, and certain my daughter and I had been left destitute, the only contact we received from anyone in my family was an angry 'we told you so' graduation letter from my mother and brother...the same mother and brother writing a few years later to request 'donations' for the first baby shower of his eldest son, just turned 20. My grandson had just received the second of his trust payments at about that time, so it was his pleasure to treat the boy. It's amazing how much they love the remarkable young man he turned out to be.
Yeah, this is a tough one! The daughter is way off-base in thinking that she can choose to have the baby and Mom will bend over backwards to make it work...on the other hand, declaring that your pregnant daughter will, if she chooses to keep the pregnancy, receive *less* financial and practical support than she did before, is...not exactly A+ parenting, either. It comes through pretty clearly that the mother is being so harsh in the hopes that the daughter will give in and do what Mom thinks best (terminate or give the baby up). And I agree with the Mom that either of those options would be more sensible than "drop out of college at 19 to have a baby with a marginally-employed baby-daddy." But on the other hand, she's *really* setting a tone for what her adult relationship with the daughter is going to be like. And if that's the tone she's sure she wants to set, then okay....
...but if she comes back 5 or 10 years down the line and is like, "Oh, I don't know why Daughter and I aren't close, we used to be close"--bless your heart, sweetie, you *do* know why; it's how you went straight to "my way or the highway" the first time she had a big-girl grown-up decision to make.
Load More Replies... Sounds like she's mimicking his behavior and talking back when normally she wouldn't. Her body her choice but your home. Not more parents put their feet down about these kids thinking mom n dad or gram and gramps will raise my kids while I still go do my life they would really wake up. This isn't the early 2000 of Maury and who's your daddy rebellious kids. She's a barely adult with no idea what is coming along if she goes through this. Maybe sit them both down and tell them to shut up and tell them your story. Then say you guys need to gtfo of my home and decide what's going on. The "inn" is closed like her legs should have been. Wouldn't surprise me if he had other kids too or gfs on the side.
OP is a trying desperately to p*ss everyone off, and she can't get the whipping she wants. 'No no darling, hush, you're a good girl!' 'But I need y'all to hate me! I'm a middle aged woman refusing to mammy, hate me!'
Yeah what if it's rage bait. She reminds me of Guurtje, an arrogant twat played by a guy with a wig who goes to the hairdresser and he asks if her husband is a hairdresser. No of course not. Who marries a hair dresser? At the end he's so fed up that he kicks her out. https://youtu.be/nGU6edkaV0E?si=aUXyOa-ohcAie6Yd
Load More Replies... Babysitting (within reason) IS part of being à grand-parent IMHO. The fun part: you take them, you play with them and then you give them back. In French it's called "Chic! Ouf!" (Yeah! Phew!, as you say when they arrive, and then when they leave 😇) OP seems to want no part of her grandkid, not even that one, and it's a bit sad.
No, babysitting is NOT automatically part of “being a grandparent”. Not every culture forces parents to babysit their children’s children.
Load More Replies... I say this as a 19 year old parent who is now 45 with a 26 year old and an 18 year old and, damn. This woman is worse than any of the grandparents of my kids. It happened. Your child is pregnant. You are going to be a grandparent. And instead of acknowledging how difficult it was for you as a 19 year old, you decided to make your own child's situation 10 times worse.
The "child" put herself in this situation and the mother has no obligstion whatsoever to suffer the consequences of her daughters stupidity
Load More Replies... I guess to each their own, but I'd feel like a complete awful parent to boot my kid out of the house if they got pregnant. Talk about massive abuse! "Here, I don't give a s**t if you live or die. Gtfo of my home with that spawn I never want to see or babysit for. I don't care if you''ll need to become a prostitute or d**g dealer to be able to survive. Just gtfo of my home, you dirty whore." - OP to her daughter. That b******l thing never deserved to have kids if thats how she treats her own flesh and blood when the kid gets into serious trouble. Wtf. Some people don't deserve to have kids or to call themselfs 'parent'.
If the boyfriend was well off, there would be no need for this dicussion as he could afford a home and to provide for his girlfriend and Baby, and nit expect her mother to do that. Refusing to Surfer the consequences of your adult daughters choice does not make you a classist hypocrite. She is just smart enough not to let other people choices dictate
Load More Replies... Ah, now I was thinking she was working class who had managed to claw up to some level of so-called respectability and comfortable living, and doesn't want to slip back down
Load More Replies...
69
112