Teenager Hides Passport In Her Sock When She Realizes She Will Have To Babysit During The Trip
Interview
Watching over kids is a full-time job. Unsurprisingly, not everyone is equally excited about looking after them, especially when the little ones are not their children.
Redditor u/No_Writing9686 told the AITA community about having to babysit her sister’s kids whenever she visits. That was the reason she got out of a family vacation to Disneyland when she learned her sister’s family was also going. The OP found a way to dodge the babysitting, but received comments from the family that made her wonder if she was being a jerk.
To get a better idea of how similar situations can affect family relationships, Bored Panda turned to a developmental psychologist, author Dona Matthews, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. We also got in touch with the OP, who did so as well. You will find both their thoughts in the text below.
Looking after someone else’s children is rarely how one wants to spend their vacation
Image credits: David Guerrero (not the actual photo)
This young woman got out of a family trip to Disneyland so she didn’t have to babysit her sister’s kids
Image credits: Vinta Supply Co. | NYC (not the actual photo)
Image source: No_Writing9686
Disneyland is a popular destination for a family vacation, attracting tens of thousands of visitors each day
Image credits: Tyler Nix (not the actual photo)
Going on a vacation with the entire family can be challenging for numerous reasons, from accommodating everyone’s needs to finding the right activities to enjoy together. For the OP, another somewhat off-putting thing about the family trip was the idea of having to watch her sister’s children.
Developmental psychologist and author Dona Matthews pointed out that every family is different in their history and experience, and every person in each family develops different habits and attitudes over time. “When you assume your sister or someone else will be happy to take care of your kids while you rest or go shopping or do something else, you might be wrong. Your sister (or other person) might do it, but resent your expectation, which can damage your relationship over the long run.”
“It bugs me that I have to change my plans to help her when she visits,” the OP told Bored Panda. That might be one of the reasons she decided to get out of the Disneyland trip and enjoy some peace and quiet at home instead. For those seeking peace and quiet, Disneyland might not be the best choice, considering the sheer number of visitors there. Gitnux uncovered that on a peak day during the holiday season, Disney World attracts roughly 155,000 people. It also revealed that the destination is a rather popular one among families, as back in 2017, 42% households in the US with children under 18 had visited one of the Disney theme parks.
Whether it’s a trip to Disney or staying at home, most parents would likely appreciate a little help watching over their little ones. That’s why they often turn to friends or relatives for such assistance. According to Pew Research Center’s survey, 39% of parents in the US receive at least some support from friends or extended family, while an additional 44% believe they receive quite a lot of it.
It is common for parents to ask for help from their friends and relatives
Image credits: Marisa Howenstine (not the actual photo)
Friends and family helping out with child care is not as uncommon as one might think. Known as Family, Friend and Neighbor (FFN) Care, it is arguably the most common type of child care for infants, toddlers, and school-age children before and after school.
The National Women’s Law Center reports that grandparents are the typical choice when it comes to relative care. Data revealed that out of roughly 5.2 million children under six years of age, 79% were watched over by grandmas and grandpas. An additional 13% were looked after by aunts and uncles and 9%—by other relatives.
Parents’ siblings are often among the aforementioned 9% of FFN care providers. As the OP’s example showed, they are sometimes used as unpaid babysitters, mostly just because they are family. And while some would agree that the time spent with their nieces and nephews is something they wouldn’t trade for the world, it might get tiresome nevertheless. Especially when the responsibility is placed on one’s shoulders without discussing it beforehand.
The OP told Bored Panda that when the sister comes to visit, their mother typically tells the redditor that she’s looking after the kids while they go out. “But I think I’m done watching them without being asked in advance and compensated,” she added.
“Sometimes, especially in a family, people assume you’ll enjoy taking over the job of taking care of their kids for a short time,” Dona Matthews suggested. “Also, some people are just generally more demanding and entitled than others. That can easily extend to their attitude to others taking care of their kids. They might realize it’s inappropriate with friends, but have a history of being indulged by family members. They might do it with you because they think they’ll get away with it.”
The OP’s sister likely believed that would be the case with the Disney trip as well. But the redditor wasn’t willing to babysit anymore, which is why she pretended to have lost her passport. Fellow Reddit users didn’t consider her a jerk for doing so and they let her know in the comments.
The OP answered some comments providing more information on the situation
Quite a few redditors thought the young woman wasn’t being a jerk to her family
“ NTA. But, There are better ways to handle a situation. That was the worst thing you could have done.” Au contraire. A massive, ballsy and unambiguous move, which put all the trouble back on the people who are responsible.
So many people expect young women to be "nice" and sweet and to capitulate to any and all demands. Good on this young woman for standing up for herself.
Load More Replies...
As someone who had her cousin stay at home for three weeks with her toddler, i felt this. I looked after the baby 24/7. I'm supposed to be enjoying my vacation after graduating but for 3 whole weeks, i didn't go out/ meet friends/ didn't even sleep all night because i was looking after the baby. Oh and she didn't even want to leave. Kept saying she'll extend her stay but i somehow had her pack her bags and dropped her off. I at least got to know that my fear of being a horrible parent is off the table because i (agreed by my parents) was an excellent carer for my nephew :)
You can still be a great relative without kids. As one mother told me, "The world needs aunts." That said, your mooch of a cousin should have compromised. Oh well, now you know that not only are you great with babies, but she needs firm boundaries. One of my relatives overstayed her welcome. She didn't have a baby, but she sure acted like one! Someone had to cross the ocean to fetch her and take her home (we're forever grateful).
Load More Replies... Clearly NTA and I commend her for the quick thinking. However, pretty s****y of all these parents to just dump their kids on someone else - for the kids too. I know if I took my son to Disneyland he would want Mummy to experience it all with him. I don't want my child thinking that every fun event (parties, holidays, etc) means he's separated from his parents. We're a family, you're meant to do these things together to build happy memories. If the sister can't cope with her own kids perhaps she should get some parenting lessons.
She should have got her tubes tied. It would have been better on so many levels. I will never understand why people have kids when they clearly hate kids, being with kids and everything related to kids.
Load More Replies... “ NTA. But, There are better ways to handle a situation. That was the worst thing you could have done.” Au contraire. A massive, ballsy and unambiguous move, which put all the trouble back on the people who are responsible.
So many people expect young women to be "nice" and sweet and to capitulate to any and all demands. Good on this young woman for standing up for herself.
Load More Replies... As someone who had her cousin stay at home for three weeks with her toddler, i felt this. I looked after the baby 24/7. I'm supposed to be enjoying my vacation after graduating but for 3 whole weeks, i didn't go out/ meet friends/ didn't even sleep all night because i was looking after the baby. Oh and she didn't even want to leave. Kept saying she'll extend her stay but i somehow had her pack her bags and dropped her off. I at least got to know that my fear of being a horrible parent is off the table because i (agreed by my parents) was an excellent carer for my nephew :)
You can still be a great relative without kids. As one mother told me, "The world needs aunts." That said, your mooch of a cousin should have compromised. Oh well, now you know that not only are you great with babies, but she needs firm boundaries. One of my relatives overstayed her welcome. She didn't have a baby, but she sure acted like one! Someone had to cross the ocean to fetch her and take her home (we're forever grateful).
Load More Replies... Clearly NTA and I commend her for the quick thinking. However, pretty s****y of all these parents to just dump their kids on someone else - for the kids too. I know if I took my son to Disneyland he would want Mummy to experience it all with him. I don't want my child thinking that every fun event (parties, holidays, etc) means he's separated from his parents. We're a family, you're meant to do these things together to build happy memories. If the sister can't cope with her own kids perhaps she should get some parenting lessons.
She should have got her tubes tied. It would have been better on so many levels. I will never understand why people have kids when they clearly hate kids, being with kids and everything related to kids.
Load More Replies...
124
52