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In 1992, relationship counselor Dr. John Gray published his most famous book, Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. You don’t need to read it to grasp the fundamental principle that males and females are starkly different species of humans.
Of course, these disparities may lead to surprising discoveries about each other. Today, we’re focusing on the ladies and their most eye-opening realizations about their male counterparts.
These women on Reddit candidly shared their thoughts in a thread from a year ago. Their responses ranged from superficial quirks that caught their attention to more profound existential observations.
As always, enjoy scrolling through this list. Ladies, feel free to chime in. Gentlemen, this should give us all a good insight into how the opposite s*x sees us.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
They’re really good at hiding just how sad they are.
D Gibson 7 months ago
The ones that were encouraged to whine and cry are no picnic , either.
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StrangeOne 9 months ago
If a man is confiding in you, listen to him and be there for him. It's an honour and he's showing you that he trusts you and feels that comfortable talking to you. Breaking that bond would be a devastating blow.
Allen Packard 9 months ago
Nobody cares. We have to just deal with it. We have families that need us, and our own emotions can just be buried.
David 9 months ago
but when we are in a safe place with our trusted bros, we know how to express it and let it out. To women, it may not look like we are, but in that bro-space, we do.
AsylumWalker 9 months ago
Then why the f**k is there a male loneliness epidemic?
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Johnnynatfan 9 months ago
Yep. Im very good at this and then it eats away at you and your sadness manifests itself as something destructive then you lose relationships and the sadness gets worse.
Matt Richardson 9 months ago (edited)
Roll with the punches and turn them into a punchline. Remember belly laughs, yes. Metaphorical gut punches, NNNNOOOOO. Turn your repressed emotions into humor that will replace the sad tears of those around you with tears of joy and laughter. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yes it's true, you can learn to do this and so much more by purchasing my book. Only $9.99 but act quick because this introductory price won't last forever. Yes, you heard me right, $9.99 for this life changing manual, "Turning the sads into jokes for dads (And more)".
RELATED:
#2
When I was in my early 20s I struggled with stomach issues and was always holding in farts. I was convinced no man would want stinky me. To my surprise, no man I dated has ever cared. When I told my first serious boyfriend I was so scared and said I needed to talk to him. He looked very worried. Then when I told him he roared with laughter and demanded a demonstration. .
#3
They aren't good at getting hints. Most of the time they need to be asked directly to do something.
David Jeffery 9 months ago
I still don't understand why women have a problem with this? If you want a cup of tea, ask for one. Don't just say "is the kettle on?" It isn't nagging, it's asking
lenka 9 months ago (edited)
I agree that we need to be direct. It's important to understand where it came from. Women who are direct are often accused of being high maintenance, demanding, bossy, nagging, entitled etc (the list goes on), or we get given backhanded compliments like, 'She's a firecracker this one'. Society is not kind to direct women so we have largely learnt how to get our needs met in ways that are expected of us...more subtle, less intrusive, more gentle.
Load More Replies... Johnnynatfan 9 months ago
My ex wife left me and I was completely shocked she was not happy to the point she wanted a divorce. While talking about it and desperately trying to get her to not leave I asked her why she didn't tell me how she was feeling before it was too late. She said she hinted at it. You dont hint at something so serious. You come right out and say it.
Sue 9 months ago
But I've seen plenty of relationships end because the wife told them exactly what was wrong, many, many times, & they were surprised she left. For some men, as long as they aren't suffering, they think everything is ok.
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Papa 9 months ago
Not only do men usually not get hints, we often don't even realize they were there.
Binky Melnik 8 months ago
Argh. It seems as if there’s no middle ground! So many times were called bad words for simply asking “Did you empty the dishwasher?” so we try being more oblique and it flies over your heads. It seems as if we can’t win!
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Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
this is the thing if you know guys arent good at taking hints and then you hint at them to do something and get mad if they dont sorry thats on you.
Harry Gondalf 9 months ago
Hey, if you ask a man to do something, he will. You don't have to keep reminding him every six months.
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Tim Richards 9 months ago
Yes, this is called communication. Stop playing games with your stupid "hints."
Harry Gondalf 9 months ago
It was Lenny Bruce or Mort Saul who said, "women marry men hoping they'll change; men marry women hoping they say the same."
David 9 months ago
Just be straight forward with us. I had an ex who would get upset at me all the time bc I didnt pick up on her hints. I mean I wasnt sure what exactly she wanted, so I would ask questions, and she got upset. Just be straight with us. You want X, tell us X. You want us to do an errand? just tell us Can you go out and buy Y
Binky Melnik 8 months ago (edited)
Aha! I think I’ve got the answer now: We’re oblique because of a man or men who called us bad things when we asked directly what we wanted and it’s become our habit, but then we meet someone like you, who won’t call us names for being direct, but we’re entrenched with our habit. I’m learning t kinda late in life, but I *do* appreciate finally learning it! I just hafta hope it makes it into long-term memory in case I meet a man I wanna spend appreciable time with. Thanks a bunch, bud! 💋
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#4
They are extremely susceptible to compliments. You know those everyday compliments women give each other without a second thought, well men rarely get them. So when you do give them one it is a 100 times more effective. Want to have a man in a good mood all day, compliment him on something.
Doctor Strange 9 months ago
I remember the last time I got an unsolicited compliment on my appearance. I was 6 years old. I'm over 40 now.
MentallyUnstable27 9 months ago
im sorry :( im sure ur shoes look cool or smth *thumbs up*
Load More Replies... Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
my girl told me when i first met her that my hair looked good short i kept it short ever since they mean a lot to us as we dont usually get compliments
liam newton-harding 9 months ago
A man will remember a compliment from decades ago…and cherish it…because we get so few.
Karl der Große 9 months ago
tori Ohno - I think you make a good point. You have to be judicious.
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Tim Richards 9 months ago
A woman randomly told me I looked nice the other day and I was like "huh?"
#5
When you ask a guy what he’s thinking about and he says “nothing” believe him. He really is just not thinking about anything in particular.
HurlWurk 9 months ago
Alternatively, when I say nothing, it means something that you have already shown you don't care about/aren't interested in, but it's important to me, so rather then hear you c**p on it, nothing is the answer.
Bacon Tentacles 9 months ago
Oof. I never thought of it that way, but...looking back at my life...especially growing up...yeah.
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Heffalump 9 months ago
Just don't ask that question. Really, it's incredibly controlling to deny someone even the privacy of their own thoughts. Just stop it.
cecilia kilian 9 months ago
Exactly.I hated when my ex would ask me that, and I'm a woman.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 9 months ago
Women are the same way. But some women, idk, just get bothered or insecure with someone's silence. I know one lady who always asks "What are you thinking about?" and won't take "nothing much" for an answer. I can't just sit in silence, or listen to a song playing in my head or on the radio, and imagine a dancer dancing to the music. Plus, whatever is going on in someone's head is their private free time.
iseefractals 9 months ago
Yes, it's "almost" always nothing. Sometimes as hurlwurk said, it's something that you don't have an interest in and thus is not worth talking about....and sometimes it just means "i don't want to talk about it" No matter which one it is, pestering them about it isn't going to end well for anyone.
Lost Panda 9 months ago
Going on 15 years married and my wife still doesn't understand this... XD
Sergio Bicerra 9 months ago
Tell her 'Just planning our next aniversary' and might give you some months of silence. But you're still going to do a big aniversary surprise 😁
Load More Replies... Sergio Bicerra 9 months ago
For me is 99% a useless meaningless stuff that just popped my mind, like if who would won Goku full power or Saitama, and my ex didn't even know who they were so, yeah 'Nothing honey' was my default answer.
Aud (she/they) 9 months ago
Haha. This. I was told the same thing when I asked my partner what he was thinking 😂
#6
Men can have super deep bonds with each other, even though they don't show it at all. My grandpa was such a serious man: a shop teacher, a shipbuilder in Seattle during WWII, then he fished tuna from the boat he built.
After he had to retire from his boat, he did woodwork in the garage. He had a neighbor who would stop by the garage shop every single day and shoot the breeze with him.
His neighbor died suddenly. I can't forget grandpa sobbed. He was the most stern person ever, but he sobbed at the loss of that daily visit with his neighbor, that his friend died. That daily visit was a lifeblood to him.
[Edited to correct "shopbuider" to shipbuilder. Added the stateside shipyard location, b/c not a veteran].
David 9 months ago
Oh we show the bonds, guys know it when we see it. We just show it differently than women, but other guys pick up on it.
Lila Allen 9 months ago
Example Gibbs and Fornell on NCIS. If you speak guy body language they have the sweetest bro bond ever
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Tom De Paul 9 months ago
This is the thing that bothers me about the deaths of Gene Hackman and his wife. How could they be so isolated that they didn't see or at least talk to someone for 2 weeks?
D Gibson 7 months ago
That is just how the world has become. When Mr. Hackman retired from acting he seemed to just turn his back & move away . We don't know how quickly the geriatric dementia set in. His young wife may not have been interested in socializing. You are right, 2 weeks seems like a long time. (I Work from home so I can go 10 days without seeing anyone or leaving home.) But with married people I would think they would go shopping or go out for a meal or a drive.(They had 3 dogs. ) It is a very sad end to a couple. It is sad that he had become so distant from his daughters, too. The spooky part is the home was infested with pests. Which led to her death from the hantavirus. It has stayed with me.
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Lowrider 56 7 months ago
Guys can hang out together for hours and not know the other guys name.
#7
How much abuse they take, and lack of support about it.
Alex Schneider 9 months ago
I wish I could upvote more. I am lucky to support a spiritual group of abused men ( I'm just in the background if some needed to be calmed down ,talk to a female ..as a kind of special offer) and I am blessed to get their trrust but also to see their destruction and reconstruction about masculinity i wish more men and women could have such circles
Vito 9 months ago
Women complain about body shaming, but their first insult to men is “tiny penis”.
#8
I hated learning just how much men's emotions, especially crying from either sadness, stress or even profound joy are ridiculed and suppressed.
cecilia kilian 9 months ago
There seems to be a certain type that has no problem expressing anger, especially when things do not go their way.
Leanne Hailes 7 months ago (edited)
But why is it okay for him to cry and express emotions when I'm not allowed to
#9
How few compliments or acknowledgements they get. Now I make an effort to compliment or acknowledge them even if it’s a simple thing like “that colour really suits you”, “you have a great sense of humour” or “thanks for helping me, I really do appreciate you”. It must be genuine though!
MentallyUnstable27 9 months ago
ALRIGHT BRO NOW IM COMPLIMENTING EVERY GUY I SEE STARTING TODAY
SkippityBoppityBoo 9 months ago
I've complimented random guys in the past on their tattoos. Always taken as a compliment and not a "come on". I guess it really depends upon the situation. If as a female you compliment a male? Some (Not All!) will think that you're "after them" or "want to get into their pants". Nope, just paying you a compliment... On the flip side? I once was getting the bus home and a young guy was in a tuxedo stood next to me looking a bit nervous (We were both stood up as it was packed) There was a University ball that night and I said, "Wow, you look very dapper! I love your boutonniere!" and he looked a bit brighter and said with a smile, "Thank you! I hope she likes it too!" Me-"I'm sure she will! Have a fun night!" Awwws at being that young age and all excited nervous for the night ahead! 💜
john doe 9 months ago
Ya but a lot of dudes are kinda stupid and they will 100% think you're hitting on them.
Panda said . . . 7 months ago
Hmmm - they might - but do I care? Nope. I like letting others know if I think something is/looks amazing 😊
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 9 months ago
I remember the last time I got an unsolicited compliment on my looks. I was 6. I'm over 40 now
Panda said . . . 7 months ago
How strong of you to write that here, you are amazing!
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#10
That there are a lot of men out there who love and treat women with personhood and respect. I was abused as a child and teen by some ugly-hearted people and my father. It took an amazing boyfriend to show me the light. Thank you, babe ❤️ It sucks how our perspective on the opposite sex can be so marred by the abusive. Not all men!
Isabel Galvez 9 months ago
They're many amazing men out there who will cherish you and protect you and love you.
HTakeover 9 months ago
And hug you and stroke your fur and call you George.
Load More Replies... Aud (she/they) 9 months ago
Too many men, but not all. I hope everyone ends up with someone who is repectful, kind, and treats them right ❤
Peter Bear 9 months ago
Thank you for that. I know that couldn't be easy for you, and I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm also happy you got through it and found happiness. May we all be so lucky.
#11
Their innate goodness, they bear the brunt of so many things.
Most men, most of the time, are protectors, even protecting others from themselves and what they’re struggling with in the inside.
Their physical and mental strength can be amazing.
Peter Bear 9 months ago
And on men. People can be cruel, regardless of gender. Not All Men. Not All Women. Not All People. And I have to believe that there are more good people than bad ones, or else what's the point?
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#12
Every man I've ever met really enjoys being a little spoon 😊.
HTakeover 9 months ago
Everyone likes being little spoon sometimes. It's comforting, it's security. It's a dangerous game to be big spoon behind a man but at least your abs will get a warm massage occasionally, lol.
cerinamroth 9 months ago
When you lie next to each other on your sides, you're both facing the same way and your knees kind of tuck up behind your partners - you look like a spoon. The one at the back is like the big spoon and the one at the front is the little spoon. It makes more sense when you think about how Americans bake using stacking measuring spoons. (I'm British but still got the reference.) My husband is always the little spoon.
Load More Replies... George Costanza 9 months ago
That's how we fall asleep every night. For some reason we can't get comfy with me as the big spoon. Her hair tickles my face too much, arm falls asleep, etc.
#13
Upon reading the survey results, I was taken aback by the number of men who expressed a desire to become stay-at-home dads. It was surprising to learn how many men would like to take on the role traditionally associated with women.
Lost Panda 9 months ago
Due to the economy, my wife is no longer stay at home (was her choice before the negativity flows in), but I would give anything to be able to have been a stay at home dad when my children were little. I feel like I missed out on so much, and I get so much more fulfillment from being home and doing chores, etc. than being in the work force... pipe dreams I guess...
Lila Allen 9 months ago
My husband is a stay at home dad and he utterly rocks it. It probably worked for the best because I am very overcautious with my kids and if I had stayed home they'd probably have anxiety disorders. Thankfully my husband did so they are both super confident and independent.
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David Jeffery 9 months ago
I don't expect anyone to believe me, but I would have loved to have carried our daughter for the nine months my wife did. And yes, I would also have liked to have been a stay at home dad.
Just_for_this 9 months ago
We were 'lucky' enough to have our daughter just before Covid, Due to my Job being 'non essential' and my wife being so, I got a fairly solid 2 years with her at home as a result. I believe our relationship is so much stronger because of this. A horrible time for so many people is one of my happiest.
#14
That their reasons for cheating are rarely because the mistress was hotter or something. It’s simply because they want to feel desired. Women waste so much time comparing their attractiveness to some other woman. For most men the most irresistible woman is the one who adores you the most ( unless it’s your mom).
Like It Is 9 months ago (edited)
Desired and Respected are definitely powerful attractants. Contrary to post modern sensibilities, men and women need each other and the desire to be needed is powerful when embraced. The point isn't a justification of infidelity... It is a focus on what is important in a relationship- Beauty fades - Make someone feel special and that equates to 'beauty"
veirdbuttrue 9 months ago
OMG? You are a counsellor??? You might want to do more courses.
Load More Replies... #15
That I experience significantly less misogyny at my oilfield job than my friend does at her office job with more liberal men. Most of my girlfriends want to hear that I experience misogyny often and am out fighting the good fight for women’s rights but that’s just not really true. The s**t bags I’ve encountered are s****y to everyone so it has nothing to do with me being a woman. Most of the guys out here are happy to teach me stuff and want to see me succeed.
Papa 9 months ago
No, but they can be misogynists and claim to be liberal.
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Anthony Elmore 9 months ago
I work in a foundry that tends to emphasize keeping a diverse staff (Compared to my last foundry job where there were maybe 2-3 women on the entire floor staff). I have yet to see a job here that cannot be effectively completed by one of our female staff. Up to, and including, degating, which is a job that involves using a sledgehammer to knock thick chunks of unnecessary iron (Gates, where the metal flows into the casting) off of freshly poured casting. We want to get the job done safely and effectively, aint nobody need to be physically fit to the point where differences between males and females actually apply.
Bacon Tentacles 9 months ago
Just because it's an office setting doesn't automatically make it liberal. Last place before my current gig was white collar, but conservative AF.
Abraham Clark 9 months ago
I can confirm. Guy at my previous workplace was a bully to me. Just a mean m**********r. Well, about 8 months, I find out he's been fired? For what? Sexual harassment. Another dude lived in another apt in the building I lived in, got drunk, broke in to my apt and started throwing punches at me. Watched him abuse his dog, then heard he had a tendency to kick the s**t out of his girlfriend too. Mean people are mean to everyone.
#16
They fantasize about saving people, mostly people they love. Sometimes they save the earth by sacrificing themselves.
I giggled when my boyfriend told me, it's cute.
MalayDragon 9 months ago
NGL - OP you may have missed the subtle look of hurt in your mans eyes after you "giggled" at this. Not an attack, simply an observation from a man, that is on topic.
Isabel Galvez 9 months ago
Actually, I talked about this with my husband because I think it's not fair that men always stay behind while women are saved. He told me his job in this world is to take care of me and if he has to die to save me, he will. I didn't "giggle", I cried.
Load More Replies... Susan 9 months ago
Me and my kids (older) have had discussion about who would survive the longest in a disaster/apocalyptic situation. Usually these discussion are after watching something like Walking Dead or similar. It's unanimously agreed that my husband probably wouldn't make it, not because he couldn't handled it, but because he would be the first to make the sacrifice play for us.
Lost Panda 9 months ago
Hope for the best, plan for the worst. It may never happen, but it is always good to have a plan of what you would try to do to save those you love.
Fluffy Cat Sleeps 7 months ago
Me too. Childhood training that I had to be the rescuer
Load More Replies... Matt Richardson 9 months ago
At heart, we still want to be fighting dragons, minotaur, evil sorcerers, and wicked knights. Scrooge McDuck had it right. Tales of daring do bad and good luck tales! whooh ooh When it seems they're heading for the final curtain Cool deduction never fails that's for certain The worst of messes become successes
#17
So much of the comments follow the pattern of “omg men are human too?!”.
"Disembodied voice" 9 months ago
So many of the lists of men/women stuff boil down to "omg they also experience [fundamental human thing]?!"
Never Snarky 9 months ago
So many women are brought up to believe all men are pigs. Takes a long time to learn this isn’t true.
El Dee 7 months ago
Sadly this is something I have realised (that men aren't treated properly, I mean) On the one hand it's easy to believe some of them have no feelings but not expressing how you feel doesn't mean you aren't feeling it. We need to teach our sons to feel and our daughters to let them..
#18
That in the US, men still have to register with selective service before 26. I knew it existed, because my dad was only a few numbers away from going to Vietnam, but I thought it had ended in the '70s. Turns out, it had for a bit back then, but is active currently.
I was embarrassed that I didn't know (no man around me mentioned anything, not even my very anti war ex), and felt angry that men still have to do it. I don't think anyone should have to, and it should be ended.
Let the robots destroy each other.
Dirk Daring 9 months ago
Before 26? In my day, we were marched to the Post Office the minute we turned 18.
David 9 months ago
You legally have to at 18, but if before 26 you dont get a penalty, after 26 and caught, you can face criminal charges
Load More Replies... Shane S 9 months ago
Many countries have required service so it’s not really that big of a deal to us. College is expensive and the military is full of people who sign up just for free school. The chance of a draft is very very low. But with Trump, never zero
Sue 9 months ago
I would offer college or other training, or money, to serve, but not necessarily in the military. Not everyone could anyway.
Load More Replies... john doe 9 months ago
Hear me out, every person should serve for 2 years after highschool, not for some big build up for a war but so we can have all have a period in your life that we share an experience, get yelled at a bit and get your ego brought back down to a reasonable level. If there was a mandatory conscription we would only fight wars that need to be fought like WW2 because everyone even the wealthy would have their kids at risk. Also people would develop a better sense of civic duty and responsibility by having service as part of their experience, I'm not saying everyone needs to be an infantryman and learn to kill but everyone should learn military discipline and hearing and get a skill or trade out of their time in service. Also the f*****g recruiters can just go away, wouldn't need that waste of money anymore. Probably like 100 other positive things for society would happen as well.
Sue 9 months ago
Then we wouldn't be free. But maybe a year to work at something that betters the world, military, forestry, social services, etc.
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Charles McChristy 9 months ago
I got the form about a week after my 18th birthday. That, and Gillette sent me a really nice razor kit.
Papa 9 months ago
Being required to register for the draft was stopped shortly after the Vietnam conflict, but was reinstated around 1980 (if I remember correctly my age group was among the first to be affected by it).
Sue 9 months ago
Of course, Reagan. You know the one who conservatives adore & who started gun control?
Load More Replies... Peter Bear 9 months ago
Fortunately/unfortunately, I have a visual disability that was much more severe until I was able to get it fixed, rendering me unfit for military service.
Laura Williams 9 months ago
They make guys register because women can only have 1 baby a year. If you think dystopian future. I don't think they should have to register either.
#19
When they are staring off looking as if deep in thought...their minds are blank. Don't ask what they are thinking because it's usually nothing.
Tobias Reaper 9 months ago
either nothing or we are thinking about a scenario where we save the day Die hard style
YDNinja 9 months ago
Just pause for a moment and imagine yourself, on top of a moving eighteen-wheeler, mowing down zombies with a machine gun. That.
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Jerry Wyant 9 months ago (edited)
YES!!!! THIS!!!! It would irk my wife when she would ask what I was thinking about and I would say "nothing". But in truth, I had put my brain in "Neutral" and literally did not have a single conscious thought rattling around inside my skull. Many times that happened and I ended up in the proverbial dog house because I wasn't aware that she had come into the room and was talking to me ("You NEVER pay attention to anything I say!!" "Well, Babe, if you come in and I have a glassy stare on my face, that means my brain is out to lunch and will be back in a few minutes. Just wait till that glassy stare goes away and I will be happy to listen to what you have to say, LOL.)
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Or say something to grab my attention for God's sake. Ask for what you need/want. You'll be amazed that it works.
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Booker 7 months ago
Ninety-nine percent of the time when I'm not focused on my family, job, hobby, events around me, etc., my brain is processing fleeting thoughts of random stuff I've remembered over the years. Fleeting and random. I'd feel about as comfortable talking about them as I would about a dream when I woke up. Talking about fleeting and random thoughts would imply a significance that's just not there. People who ask would naturally want to analyze it. These thoughts just keep my neurons firing, waiting for something that is significant. They pass in a few seconds, then are gone forever.
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
And are you the "boy named Sue"? Because this list is about men.
Load More Replies... Tim Richards 9 months ago
Normally this means about 100 thoughts are going around, and I haven't yet settled on one to focus as my main form of internal mental torture.
George Costanza 9 months ago
Nah, I'm usually thinking about something. It just isn't always something I'm looking to share with you or anyone else.
#20
That men can have a low libido or not always want sex. It took me a long time to accept that my husband's lack of desire wasn't specific to me, he just wasn't feeling sexual at those times, because the societal expectation that men always want sex and will be ready to go whenever sex is initiated. It's certainly held true with the majority of my male lovers, including and especially the one with ED. But it's also normal to NOT be that way.
The societal expectation also shows up when the topic of his low libido comes up as everyone wants to help fix him. There is nothing wrong with my husband, his testosterone is fine, he's not on meds that would stifle his libido, etc. He's a perfectly normal, healthy human. With a low libido.
I'm a high libido woman, always have been but once I hit my 40s, hoooo boy did it get enhanced with the boom in confidence that came with the age. I recently asked my husband when was the last time he thought about sex, he couldn't remember. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have sexual thoughts. Many times a day!! So it's hard to wrap my head around a brain that doesn't. Not because there is anything wrong with it, it's just completely different from how my brain works and how I expected a man's brain to work.
Luke Branwen 9 months ago
I'm a man on the asexual spectrum. According to a lot of people, no such thing exists.
Dirk Daring 9 months ago
Same here. I was 40 when I learned that Asexuality was an actual thing, and I wasn't just "broken on the inside" as I had thought.
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Sarah Bailey 9 months ago
Took me awhile to understand dynamics such as this with myself and a spouse and not take it personally. Later in my life my disability hinders my sexual intimacy and high libido in addition to their low libido. I don't miss the actual act, but I miss the intimacy in the vulnerability . So I had to create several small intimate moments or interactions to share with my spouse tho help .
George Costanza 9 months ago
Yep. My sex drive is minimal these days and I don't really miss it. I feel bad because the wife's drive is still there, but man I'm just not that interested anymore.
Never Snarky 9 months ago
Women are brought up to believe all men just want one thing -s*x. It’s hard to overcome this teaching.
Matt Richardson 9 months ago
I tend to lean towards the Demisexual side, that one confuses a lot of people. It basically boils down to "No locked lips, or hips until hearts connect". I don't want their body, I want them.
veirdbuttrue 9 months ago
Wait until menopause and overnight sexual desire just disappears. You can get testosterone prescribed by a doc to help with this.
Bacon Tentacles 9 months ago
If your husband is Ace, that's one thing, but if not, then he might need to get his testosterone checked. Low T can lead to Low A Lot of Things.
#21
They're much more sensitive and get attached easier than I thought.
kitten levels tokyo 9 months ago
We are basically a sack of emotions wrapped up in a desire for compliments.
#22
That men have a full blown list of unspoken rules and protocols about using urinals. Even if there are walls for privacy.
kitten levels tokyo 9 months ago
I would say the biggest rule is: Don't try to share a urinal if there are open ones available.
Tim Richards 9 months ago
All of us can tell you what they are and most of us can pick the right etiquette within about 2 seconds of seeing a situation.
Tim Fawcett 9 months ago
No it is very simple - farthest distance you can get from other users and focus on your own business not anyone elses
StrangeOne 9 months ago
I believe it, and aware of some. Women have similar unspoken rules. Don't look inbetween the gaps. I should not see an eyeball when I'm sitting on the toilet. If there's empty stalls away from an occupied stall, don't not use the stall right next to the other person.
Peter Bear 9 months ago
They're basically the same rules that prevent women from pooping in public restrooms.
#23
Many of them actually are romantics and sentimental - they were just taught to suppress that and act ‘tough’ they’re whole lives.
R1MV4Superleggera 9 months ago
*Rising hand* Your Honour! I would like to declare myself, without any shadow of a doubt, guilty of romanticism against the Queen of my castle, my undisputed better half, the owner of my paychecks, the future mother of my little hellrisers, etc, etc, etc 😊
Chris the Bobcat 9 months ago
The last spontaneously romantic thing I did was to drive my wife up a mountain and into the low-lying clouds on a dreary January day. She had told me that one of her childhood dreams was that a prince came down from the sky on a Pegasus and took her up into the clouds. When I got out of the car, she complained that there was nothing to see, and I reminded her of her childhood fantasy, and that while I was no prince and my steed was only an old Toyota, I tried to make it happen by taking her into the clouds. She looked at me like I was stupid and just got back into the car. Later, my second (now ex) wife wanted to know why I wasn't romantic. When I told her that, she said she agreed with my ex, that it was a stupid gesture. Two divorces later and I've never quite gotten over the humiliation I felt from both of them. Now I don't even date anymore.
Andie Day 9 months ago
God, what a stupid woman!!! And the second is no better. On behalf of woman who can see what a romantic thing you did, please keep looking for the one who can recognize what a gem you are. And don't look at the high maintenance and gorgeous ones. The plain down to earth ones sometimes can see and appreciate what's in front of them. My son is incredibly romantic and extremely loyal. He keeps picking women who just want a fancy lifestyle. Unfortunately, his fancy women want to spend money not make a life together. It's breaking his heart, so I hear what your saying.
Load More Replies... Laura Williams 9 months ago
My husband extremely romantic. I am not. We tease he's 'the girl in the relationship.
Fellfromthemoon 9 months ago
I'm a woman and not romantic - as women are not hive minds. Some (or, even many) women are romantics. According to the post, men are just as divergent, colorful brunch, and, against popular belief, they also can be romantics and sentimental.
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#24
That there are men out there that refuse to take care of themselves because they think it's gay or feminine
(This could be about personal hygiene as well as mental health or anything really).
Shane S 9 months ago
If you want a girl to go near it, wash it. And when you’re done showering, it shouldn’t matter what end of the towel you use because your nether regions should be just as clean as your face.
Aud (she/they) 9 months ago
Guys. PRACTICE. GOOD. HYGIENE. PLEASE!!! This goes for everyone, not just men. Be thorough. Odor & cleanliness is always the first thing I notice about a person
Tom De Paul 9 months ago
Or they're depressed. I'm a gay man who spent a lot of time and money on my appearance. Now that I'm clinically depressed, I couldn't care less. BTW, this new Samsung phone is homophobic. It has autocorrected gay to gas, gag, and gap. It also autocorrected homophobic to homophonic (4 times!)
Matt Richardson 9 months ago
yeah, and stuff like that is why I don't particularly like hanging out with other men. It is exhausting having to deal with that and trying to be a "Real man". I am just going to go sip tea with the women. They have zero expectations and I don't have to create a facade. Excuse me all to hell for not enjoying hunting. I just don't feel the urge to stalk unknowing prey and unleash my inner Jason Voorhees or whatever.
Laura Williams 9 months ago
Yep other than shaving my husband won't clean his face or even put on sunscreen.
#25
That many of them would actually really like receiving flowers or something sweet that has generally been deemed “just for women” by society.
Lost Panda 9 months ago
I can vouche for this. When my wife gave me my lemon tree as a "just because" gift, I was estatic
Peter Bear 9 months ago
Lemon tree? Very pretty. And the lemon flower is sweet.
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Dave Sturtz 7 months ago
Bob & Doug McKenzie: "On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me - beer."
Jeya Mackelle 7 months ago
It's always so ironic to me how men are all "She needs to communicate and talk to me. I can't read her mind." And yet...Baby boy, if you want flowers and cute things and sentimental, romantic gestures, tell me! Be direct! Unlike a lot of the male population, if you are direct and communicate with me, a woman, I'll do it the first time, not in six months, as goes the joke. I'll move Mount Everest if you only ask! Flowers? Great, what's your favorite type? Want to go out to eat somewhere we don't usually? Cool! What's your schedule? I don't understand the hypocrisy and backwards mindset! I don't say any of this to be mean or ignore the point here, but it still stands.
#26
That when a man shuts down during an argument, it's not because he doesn't care. It's sometimes because he cares too much and is overwhelmed with "flooding" - increased heart rate/blood pressure, increase in stress hormones, etc. It's such an aversive feeling that many men will withdraw from an argument so the negative physiological arousal doesn't get worse. Meanwhile, women get frustrated because they think the guy is ignoring her, leading to a "demand/withdraw" cycle that can lead to nasty results. The moral: if your dude is withdrawing from an argument, let him be for a bit.
Johnnynatfan 9 months ago
Tell this to my wife. She does not understand what the words "leave me alone" mean. When someone whether man or woman tells you to leave them alone berating them or trying to continue to argue will get you no where.
Kitty 🥀 9 months ago
This probably isn’t my place, but I think a lot of women could interpret “leave me alone” as stone-walling or aggressive. Whereas “I need to be alone with my thoughts” or “I need to be alone for a few hours” is a lot likely to lead to an emotional misunderstanding.
Load More Replies... Tim Richards 9 months ago
When I get quiet, I'm processing what I need to say and what I originally wanted to say. Often, those don't line up and one can be counterproductive and hurtful.
Data1001 9 months ago
Yep. It is for this very reason that I try to avoid conflict whenever possible.
CF 9 months ago
Omg me too. I'm female, but boy do I shut down easily. That's why, since my last relationship ended 2 years ago, I'm thinking I'll probably stay single. Too busy trying to survive financially to go to therapy and try to develop that emotional intelligence.
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Jen D. 7 months ago
It'd be nice if this also occurred the other way around. A lot of guys with any type of hero complex seem to think if they just keep talking they will eventually 'fix' their partner instead of actually listening to what the partner is trying to tell them. If someone, anyone, wants to be left alone, don't force more conversation, it will only lead to a worse outcome.
#27
Apparently it's difficult to control the stream while peeing and sometimes there's a double stream and you guys can't really do anything about it while peeing?
Johnny McFearless 9 months ago
I don't get the downvotes for this. I've been sitting down in my toilet ever since I was 17, it's much cleaner, and to me also more comfortable because i dislike standing in general.
Load More Replies... Ace 9 months ago (edited)
Less of an issue if you've not been cut. And if you do have such problems why TF don't you just learn to sit down to pee?
HTakeover 9 months ago
Fluid dynamics plays a part. Biologically, it's a soft/flexible tube with curves and wrinkles inside with pressure pushing it closed. So the fluid going along the different curves and in areas not touching skin, means that the fluid moves at different speeds in different sections. Which his why pee often spirals. Sometimes the skin at the end is semi-stuck closed from past skin+salt, sometimes there's the tiniest bit of something else (post-sex for example), and the stream can be redirected to the side or up or down, as the pressure on one side of the stream is greater than the other. See Me, Myself, and Irene for an example. But sitting and aiming down will always counter that.
kitten levels tokyo 9 months ago
Have you ever seen a video of firemen chasing after a loose fire hose? I rest my case.
HurlWurk 9 months ago
Get a mouth full of water, then pinch the end of a straw flat and blow. Don't hold it shut tight, just enough so that it's together. That's how it works. See what kinda of results you get.
Load More Replies... Matt Richardson 9 months ago
Never had a double stream, but I have had the misfortune of a sneeze attack at the most inopportune time. Since then, if I have the option, I sit down.
#28
The first time most men get flowers is at their funeral
Send your boys flowers yall.
SkippityBoppityBoo 9 months ago
My past amicable split exs knew that I'm not a fan of being given flowers, as bouquets of them. Because? You've just killed the flowers and what sort of message is giving me something that's dying/dead? 😄 So? We compromised, well 2 did! One bought me a cactus once and the other bought me a Venus Fly Trap! In return, for Valentines Day, I got one a subscription to their favourite car magazine and the other? I paid for his parking at work for two months (They were my boyfriends at different times btw! One in my 20s and the other in my 30s! Just to clarify! 😄)
cerinamroth 9 months ago
My husband is way more traditionally romantic than me and often gets flowers if he's out at the shops with the kids. Once a year is fine but other than that, I just feel sorry for the air miles and all the flowers cut down in their prime! Get me a pot plant or some cool bulbs for the garden instead - then I can enjoy them for years!
Kitty 🥀 9 months ago
You’re just reinforcing that people shouldn’t get flowers for each other.
Load More Replies... R1MV4Superleggera 9 months ago
Oh, HELL no! C'mon! That'll be like cruelty to me,, my workers would be having a field day against me!
Andie Day 9 months ago
Too bad you work with a bunch of weenies who find their masculinity threatened by the idea of someone getting greenery and color.
Load More Replies... Jeya Mackelle 7 months ago
Take your own advice: Communicate, communicate, communicate. I do not mean to come off angry, but the irony of men complaining about women not being direct and then coming online to say this. Talk to your partners, honey, and if she doesn't listen, guess she's not the one, is she? My boyfriend has no problems directly telling me what he wants, and I ask and listen. Y'all need to do the same. F*ck society!
Mary Kelly 9 months ago
ahem, women get more flowers from their female friends than their male friends...
#29
Strength. It was jarring and surprising to see childhood friend who is same age being able to lift me up and throw me into foam pit at the gym after being same strength just 3-4 years before. It's incredible how once puberty takes off they get so much stronger while I bust my a*s in gym so much I cannot reach close to that level.
I guess it is what it is.
Isabel Galvez 9 months ago
I do lots of sports and I feel great... until I see my husband carry things with one hand I can't even pick up, with no effort of his part whatsoever.
George Costanza 9 months ago
Hence why women's sports are meant to be for biological women only.
Sue 9 months ago
There needs to be a lot more research into how hormones affect building muscles & stamina before that is allowed. It may be that after a certain amount of time, both a trans woman & a woman at birth will equal out in strength & stamina, but we won't know until we research it, but good luck with that in this governement.
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Matt Richardson 9 months ago
This one always amuses me, as what they see as feat of Herculean strength is just nothing unusual. It took me far too long to realize they weren't ribbing me. Sometimes their astonishment is a morale booster as well. It's even funnier if it was something they were dealing with all day, and I just come along and get it done. the best reactions are usually from the 5'2 and under group. If I'm there when the task gets underway, I obviously assist from the get-go.
#30
When they tell you upfront that they are an awful person, believe them. They are telling the truth.
… also keep your distance from the man that says that.
Space Invader 9 months ago
Careful with this one. He might be suffering from depression and low self esteem.
StrangeOne 9 months ago
Yeah, I've heard my bf put himself down but he does have depression and low self-esteem. It's not in a narcissistic way, unlike my ex. He does get some reflective insight and says he should stop putting himself down after a short chat about why he feels that way. I struggle with this, too. It's not constant, either, at least. My ex used to say things like "Yeah, I'm an a*****e." Those are the ones you need to watch out for because they own it and don't care.
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Ruth Watry 9 months ago
When they tell me that they are not good enough for me, I believe them and move. It is not my job to fix the self esteem of somebody that I barely know
veirdbuttrue 9 months ago
uh, believe her? or as some commenters have said, depression may be the cause. Low self esteem etc.
Load More Replies... #31
How many seemingly settle for someone they don't love just to avoid being alone.
Christina Born 9 months ago
My husband did this with his ex and ended up fathering a baby. Then he married her because he was scared to lose his kid. 16 miserable years later, she finally divorced him when she no longer needed his income. Cheated on him through the whole thing. Shot his confidence to pieces.
DennyS (denzoren) 9 months ago (edited)
I've been pretty much alone all my life but you're not getting me to settle and marry someone that I don't have a connection with.
#32
That they are soft and venurable just as much as we are and they also need compliments.
#33
They have a much stronger sense of loyalty than women do.
Maria Maria 9 months ago
Is that why they cheat on their spouse much more commonly than women do? Why many men leave their children but women usually don't? Why so many men leave their wives of 30 years for their hot secretary? Sorry but this does not make sense.
El Dee 7 months ago
There's an entry about just this earlier in the article..
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David 9 months ago
I mean a bro betrays the group once, hes out for life. That bond is loyalty for life. I bumped into one of my buddies from college I hadnt seen in 15 years, and that bond is there and that loyalty. Its also why we drop everything to help out one of our bros when they need it, even if they arent a close one. Once bros, we are loyal unless they do something to break that.
#34
That some men have no idea about how periods work, why we have them, that we have 3 holes and what discharge is.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 7 months ago
you know that you don't pee out of your v****a, right?
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Cadastros de Helen Vanessa 7 months ago
I even understand that many men may not know how our urinary and reproductive systems work. What I don't accept is that this same man thinks he knows more than the woman and tries to teach her how her period works.
Peter Bear 9 months ago
Blame the US's lack of functional healthcare and educational systems over the last 70 ish years. You can't expect us to know things we were never educated about.
Sky Render 9 months ago
I urge you not to take that attitude. Just as you have your struggles, so do we. Even if you cannot relate, you can at least be sympathetic, and receive sympathy for your struggles as well in return.
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#35
Still haven’t seen this one, so posting. I’m a man by the way.
Men are a little more polite to each other than women seem to be, because bad interactions can, on rare occasions, devolve into physical violence. And that violence can be life threatening, owing to their (generally speaking) greater muscle mass and testosterone level.
This violence avoidance/awareness is in the deep background, pretty much all the time.
Feathered Dinosaur 9 months ago
Women know this fact very, very well. We are much more polite to men than we really want to be, as we don't want to get killed either
StrangeOne 9 months ago
I was on a bus and there were 2 men sitting across from each other, I was sitting a couple seats back. It was a chilly day. One man opened a window. I let it go for a bit. But then I started to get really cold and went to close the window. They were both glancing at me and watched me get up to go close it, too. One of them asks "Problem?" I took it as a threat, but I frowned and said "No problem, it's cold outside today and I'm cold." Sat back down and they still kept looking at me, as if they were studying me. It was unnerving.
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lenka 9 months ago
This man has actually just admitted what women have been saying for years - men are dangerous. So much so, that men are afraid of men.
StrangeOne 9 months ago
Is this why some men get all tough, stern and intimidating towards women?
Matt Richardson 9 months ago
Sometime over the past 5 years or so, men have gotten more hostile, and I'd swear they'd gone feral. Some times I feel like Chris Pratt in Jurassic World training the raptors. Thankfully women are more verbal and l don't lunge at you and or get up in your face (It's rare when they do). Men however, I never know if every confrontation is my last one or not. Makes me wonder if there is room for me in that cave filled women and one very confused bear.
kitten levels tokyo 9 months ago
Basically we are walking killing machines, 24/7. We try to shield you from the carnage.
#36
That a large majority of men have "specific" friends, not general friends.
This Meaning, a man can have 3 specific hobbies he enjoys in his life. He will have 3 specific friends for each hobbie, but those friends are not friends for all 3 hobbies, only the one. For example, if he's into sports. He will have a good friend who always loves to go to sporting topics with him, but that friend won't ALSO be a gaming friend AND a sports friend. The man will just have a different friend for gaming who also DOESNT involve himself in sports.
Women have friends who just do whatever, whenever together, because we are just enjoying each other's company while also doing some random activities as a group. We can be into many topics, and 1 friend can join us on those many topics without being interested in ALL the topics. For example, a woman can have a bestie who isn't into makeup but would still join their bestie on a makeup activity solely because their bestie is interested in it and they want to enjoy their time with their friend.
Guys will enjoy their time with their friends but only on specific topics they both are interested in. So if men do not have multiple friends, they usually don't branch out on their own to meet newer friends for newer activites and end up being lonely.
(I'm aware this doesn't include ALL men and that there are several men who have 1 best friend that does activies with them).
StrangeOne 9 months ago
So... women don't have specific friends? I have friends for specific things. Some I'm more interested in chatting with than others. I have friends I can chat about the paranormal and politics. A friend who wants nothing than to rant about her job and play simple online games. A friend I go to just to get info on things I know nothing about.Work friends I get along with at work but don't get into any heavy topics with.
Data1001 9 months ago
Possible a lesser-known fact about many men and their friendships: We can have guys who we will consider our 'best buds', but go months without seeing them, and neither one of us is really bothered by that. We also can spend a week on a camping or fishing trip with a friend, and not discuss anything about our personal lives. Not to say we don't have deep conversations on occasion (usually after we've had a couple of drinks), but most of the time we just talk about shared interests and it's not unusual at all that we don't know much about each others' personal lives.
Susan 9 months ago
This one is inaccurate. As a woman, I have specific friends for certain things. I also have a best friend for everything. My husband also has specific friends for certain things, and also a best friend for everything. I think this is just a human trait, not specific to gender.
Joanne Hudson 8 months ago
Single people of both sexes hunt in small packs. "Hunting" is a common interest and they watch out for each others' backs.
#37
They’re surprisingly so much more insecure than us women are. Perhaps it’s the unreasonable social standards that they are expected to reach? As a girl I’m insecure about my appearance and body and sometimes likability, but those too are momentary, they disappear when I dress pretty or when I’m with friends.
But every man I meet has so many insecurities. It’s from height, to weight to hair to facial features to wearing spectacles, then their jobs, their income and assets. Where I work is kind of a big company in my country but my boss, who is quite a young lad with a PhD is so insecure about what people talk about him! It’s crazy because he calls for staff meetings to tell us not to gossip about him. A guy I met for a date insisted his height was 5. 8” although he was clearly around my height when I was in heels. I literally didn’t care about his height and I didn’t even ask him! But he wanted to tell me that while we were talking and I just went “Okay!”
Like guys, I’m sorry the society expects so much from you but don’t let that hurt you, y’all are okay. And guys I hope you complement each other too! Hype each other up! Life’s not a competition!
Data1001 9 months ago
As a guy, I agree that in general, men are probably very insecure -- but I would guess that the women who wrote this is an outlier, as I bet the percentage of women who are insecure is also pretty high.
Joanne Hudson 8 months ago
I'm older now and don't give a rat's behind. Things happen the way they will.
Load More Replies... john doe 9 months ago
Alot of men are fragile not really insecure. Elon musk is a great example of a fragile male, he feels he needs to demonstrate masculinity to earn his man card and every little dig against him causes his fragile masculinity to crumble a little so he lashes out in insane ways. The fragile masculinity thing is pretty prevalent in most men that consider themselves to be a mans man but really don't exhibit the traits the typically go along with being a mans man.
Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
Thank GOODNESS women never have unrealistic standards to live up to.
What do you think ?
Peter Bear 9 months ago
I'm downvoting you because you knew what you clicked on, and only came down here to s**t on it. Do better, or at least mind your business.
Load More Replies... Peter Bear 9 months ago
I'm downvoting you because you knew what you clicked on, and only came down here to s**t on it. Do better, or at least mind your business.
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