Because every panda loves vintage stuff, we had no choice but to bring you another amazing collection of Vintage Products You Won’t Find Today! Of course, some of you may argue that you can actually get the inflatable life-size doll from this list today, but hey – you’ll never find the free 10-day home trial period with it! Oh, the good old days!
These old magazine adverts sold some of the craziest product designs. Ever found yourself in a pinch and needed weird inventions like the Fly Pistol or combination cooker/washing machine? And what’s with all the old cigarette commercials touting the health benefits of smoking? ‘50s advertising was truly off the rails. But wait, it gets even better (read: worse) with the vintage drug commercials too. These (now) controversial commercials just wouldn’t fly today.
By the way, if you are new here, or you just got an Internet connection – you should definitely see other cool vintage articles we had earlier: 25 Vintage Ads That Would Be Banned Today, 18 Cool Inventions From the Past, and if you are into computers – 15 Vintage Computer Ads That Used To Be Cool.
Now let’s scroll down the list, and don’t forget to tell everyone what you think about these weird products, and which ones you miss the most.
1. Toothache Drops
2. Doll With Free 10-Day Trial
Of course, you can find an inflatable doll these days, but you won’t find the special “FREE 10-DAY HOME TRIAL” offer.
3. Vibra Finger
Because dentists recommend daily gum massage.
4. Cook and Wash on Your Refrigerator!
Actually, after further investigation, you can get one :)
5. Fly Pistol
Especially fun when a fly flies towards another person.
6. Hangover Heaven
7. Cigarette Case
8. Perfume Bottles for Humming-bird Taming
9. Cube Lube
Cube Lube – an incredible lubricant which helps your cube twist more freely, turn more easily! (Bamboos for Paxton Holley)
10. Multiple Electric Scalp Massager
11. Injectable Poppy Juice
…from the juice of the poppy. How could it harm you?
12. The Name of The Game is…
“Here’s the exciting new indoor sport for people who love people. It begins by choosing up sides (delightful custom) and centers around the “Porron” (translation: “to pour it on”) filled with your favorite libation. Object of the game is to see which team achieves the longest trajectory for the longest time with the fewest spills. Rewards to winners are optional.”
13.Wonder Sauna Hot Pants
14. Macho – It’s B-a-a-a-d.
15. Bradley Group Showers
“To save money!”16. Solar Bath Apparatus
“No, THE peculiar looking device in the photo at left is not a camera, nor even a telescope, although partially resembling both…”
17. What Time Is It?
I have a big suspicion this might be a fake. You might wanna check your grandpa’s watch!
18. Sanitized Tape Worms
No diet, no exercise – just use sanitized tapeworm pills! The mechanism was that after swallowing the parasites, they’d nest in your gut and feed off digesting food.
19. Horse Exercise at Home
20. Sun Bath Helmet
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