Woman Upset After Being Invited To Dinner Party Where She Was Served Salad While Others Had A Feast
In this financial climate, everyone is looking to save a few bucks here and there. But some frugal people take it to the extreme and end up doing stingy things that don’t sit well with the people around them. It might involve extreme couponing, reusing old items even when they should be retired, or not sharing food with friends.
A shocked woman shared her experience with a stingy friend who invited her over for dinner, only for the hosts to indulge in a feast while she had to make do with a salad.
More info: Mumsnet
A woman was invited for dinner, assuming she would get a meal, but when she arrived the host was surprised that she didn’t bring her own food
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Woman invited friends to her house for dinner and cooked up tasty traditional dishes, she received a dinner invitation from the same friends telling her to “come to theirs for some food”
Image credits: Pepper Geek (not the actual photo)
She took a jar of chili peppers as a small gift, but her host was confused and asked her if that was all she would be eating because they expected everyone to bring their own food
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
The woman was perplexed because she thought her friends had invited her as a guest, to which her friends replied, “yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!”
Image credits: Marssuri
She didn’t have anything to eat so they chopped raw vegetables, added white sauce, and put the salad on the table while they ate their own meals without offering her anything else
The author shared her experience with a stingy friend when she was invited to their house for dinner. She started off by sharing that she had called her friends to her place for dinner one day and prepared tasty dishes from her culture, such as sausage rougail and chicken cari. She also made dessert for them. Because of her invitation, her friends returned the favor and told her to come to theirs for supper.
Usually, people don’t turn up empty-handed when they are invited to someone’s house. So the poster brought a small jar of chili peppers to give her friends. When she gave it to them, one of the hosts asked her if that was all she was going to eat. The woman was confused until the friend mentioned that they had wanted everyone to bring their own food.
That’s when the woman was shocked and tried to clarify that she had been invited for dinner. The hosts did not seem to realize the misunderstanding, but they said that they would “share” some of their food with her. Instead of letting her eat their meals, they cut up different raw vegetables and placed them along with white sauce in the middle of the table.
The author was surprised by her friends’ stinginess and probably had to return home with an almost empty stomach. According to Psychmechanics, “stinginess is the opposite of generosity. While a generous person gives freely, often finding giving a pleasurable activity, a stingy person withholds and finds giving hard and uncomfortable. Though stinginess is commonly associated with money, it manifests in other areas too.”
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Research has shown that stingy people might be the way they are for a number of reasons. It can be due to their upbringing, where resources were limited, and they developed a scarcity mindset to try and hold onto things. Another reason could be due to low self-esteem or anxiety about the future. Sometimes life difficulties and loss of one’s job can push people into a form of survival mode where they want to hold onto resources.
Stinginess can manifest in many different ways. Most people think that it’s about being miserly with money, but it can also be seen when people hoard objects, don’t want to share, or end up scarfing down food without giving their friends any. Whatever the reasons were for the poster’s friends not to share their meal, it ultimately annoyed the woman enough for her to write this post.
Being miserly about things can also have negative effects on the person’s mental health. Researchers at Queensland University of Technology conducted an experiment on participants who were playing a financial bargaining game. They found that the people who made lower offers experienced more stress than those who were generous. It shows that being stingy can negatively impact your mood and increase your stress levels.
The author’s story helps shine a light on the way being miserly can impact one’s relationships with other people. The post received over 1k replies, and many people shared their own experiences with miserly folks. What would you have done if your friend called you over for dinner only to give you a salad to munch on? Let us know in the comments, and tell us if you’ve ever had a similar experience.
Netizens shared their experiences with stingy friends, and some even faced this annoying problem at people’s weddings
What is this madness? You're invited but not fed? Where have they been living? Under a rock?
The problem is no communication. Why didn't they say in advance to bring food? For whatever reason. I have no issue if they can't or won't serve food. But they do have to say so.
Load More Replies...I have shown up at potlucks empty handed a couple of times. The first time because I didnt know what a potluck was (in my culture if you invite someone to your house, you are feeding them). The other time I asked if I could bring something and was told, " no, no", but apparently in that culture the host says no but you are supposed to understand they dont mean it lol. Either time, I still got fed. Nobody just punished me for not knowing. These people just sound mean.
That would be fair enough, but it doesn't even sound like this is the case for the OP. It just sounds like a straight up dinner invitation, made even worse by the fact she had them to dinner and fed them a few days earlier. You'd think if it was cultural, when they turned up at her place they'd have brought food with them.
Load More Replies...The original story is bonkers, but then there's the person who was like, "I went to a friend's house and she didn't offer me anything to drink??!!!??" What?
Ex friend who I had stay at my home many times and we paid for everything. Got invited to lunch by her at a cafe and we ordered, yep she expected me to pay as usual. Visiting her home and you dont even get a glass of water
Load More Replies...What kind of bad manners is this? What country was this in? If she was to bring her own food, the host or hostess should have told her when they invited her.
Yeah, I thought I missed the part where it was said that they have to bring their own food, but I guess I didn't. It def should have been said. Unless it's a potluck where all food is shared, why would I drag all my food over to someone else's house, dirty a bunch of Tupperware, and then drag all the dirty container back home? I'll just eat at home and catch up with you later.
Load More Replies...One time a friend from abroad crashed at my place for about four days because he was here for a festival. On the last night, he invited me to join him and his friends for dinner at a restaurant. His wording made me think that he was buying me dinner to thank me for hosting him. Nope. They picked the tackiest expensive restaurant, and when it was time to pay they automatically asked to split the bill. That's when I realized that inviting me out for dinner meant I could join him and his friends and buy myself dinner and eat it with them. That was the parting thank-you gift. The next time he wanted to crash at my place for another festival in the city, I was very unfortunately "away" exactly the same week he wanted to stay at my place.
Naaaaah this is a buncha BS. I would have left immediately and they'd never be invited to my place again. You invite me over to eat, I'm expecting food. Who the hell does thaaaaat! 🙄
I always thought of my sisters bday parties, where she gives a bbq but everyone has to bring their own meat, a bit.. wierd. We bring her a gift but she says it's too expensive to buy meat for everyone. Well yeah..
If it is announced beforehand it's perfectly ok. Sometimes it's too expensive to pay for it all, but if everyone brings something it can be a great party which doesn't cost a lot.
Load More Replies...This is bad communication. If the group of friends always did this - regularly join and bring their own food - they just forgot to mention this to OP. The rude part is that none of tham shared even a little bit of the food they brought. Even just a spoonfull of every dish makes a plate full of food (combined with the salad).
We went to a cheese plate only wedding, we were warned and knew it was all on a budget but I don't think anyone realised how small the platter would be and that it would be between 4 people! I was also pregnant and it turned out I could only eat one of the cheeses. Thankfully it was close to home so we left early and went home and ate hoards of peanut butter on toast.
That’s deeply weird even if they used the word potluck in the invitation. But every potluck I have ever been to had more food than could be eaten so a few confused guests could easily have been absorbed. I would have ordered a pizza then and there and refused to share it (because you just know they would have wanted some) then taken the leftovers home.
This reminds me of The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin where his wife goes away for a few days so he takes the opportunity to invite everyone he hates, and who will hate each other, to a dinner party - with no dinner. He doesn't tell them there's no food, but keeps leading them on by saying things like "Let's go through to the dining room!" and then eschewing the virtues of his dining table. Eventually he makes up some guff about it raising awareness of third-world hunger, or something.
Omg what a throwback! I used to love that series 😂
Load More Replies...Where is this? That'd never happen where I live. Even for a potluck, if someone shows up empty handed, they're fed.
Never heard of anything that awful... I host dinner parties. I provide the food. Byob. Simple, Worst for me... invited for 6.00PM dinner. Took wine. At 8.00, the hostess got up and started to cook. We ate at 10.00. Ran out of wine of course and they had none. Husband had to go out and buy more wine. We were offered water only.
Mean Girls, dinner party edition. The OP had them over to hers and fed them. When she was invited to theirs, she (quite rightly) expected the same. If it was supposed to be a potluck affair, they should have made that absolutely clear. Because they didn’t, it sounds to me like they are a bunch of gaslighting b**ches. And even on the small off chance this was just a miscommunication, they could have been much nicer and still shared all the food, including the salad.
I’d have been as petty AF, and pulled out my phone to order a Chinese/Indian delivery (NOT Pizza, as that doesn’t really require the use of utensils and doesn’t make your plate as dirty) Then once my delivery arrived I’d have wordlessly gone into the “host’s” kitchen to help myself to the necessary implements, plus seasonings… and then casually tucked in and also left them the washing up afterwards!
Funny someone mentioned above they went to their in-laws and was served a stingy bacon sandwich for breakfast because I remember going to my Scottish grandfather’s house for a visit and their was one small piece of bacon on a bap. It looked so lonely, but at least the bap was fresh. Or when I visited my dad for a weekend and he had nothing really edible in the house for breakfast, so I made some pasta. I did complain and the next time I visited, he had some Homer-O’s he found at a discount store and some soy milk. At least it was food. He kind of forgets about normal stuff. He’s got a genius IQ and I suspect he has Asperger’s.
We were going on an evening out with friends. She said, come to ours first, we can all go together, and you can have dinner here before we go out. She put on the table one small 9" diameter pizza, cut into four pieces, and a few olives. That was dinner for four. Oh and we drove them to where we were going, and took them home again afterwards.
How hard would it have been to add the words "Pot luck" to the invitation, whether spoken or written?
The guy complaining about the size of his bacon butty really doesn't belong here. It was a bit small with only one piece of toast, but hardly a story worth repeating.
What is this madness? You're invited but not fed? Where have they been living? Under a rock?
The problem is no communication. Why didn't they say in advance to bring food? For whatever reason. I have no issue if they can't or won't serve food. But they do have to say so.
Load More Replies...I have shown up at potlucks empty handed a couple of times. The first time because I didnt know what a potluck was (in my culture if you invite someone to your house, you are feeding them). The other time I asked if I could bring something and was told, " no, no", but apparently in that culture the host says no but you are supposed to understand they dont mean it lol. Either time, I still got fed. Nobody just punished me for not knowing. These people just sound mean.
That would be fair enough, but it doesn't even sound like this is the case for the OP. It just sounds like a straight up dinner invitation, made even worse by the fact she had them to dinner and fed them a few days earlier. You'd think if it was cultural, when they turned up at her place they'd have brought food with them.
Load More Replies...The original story is bonkers, but then there's the person who was like, "I went to a friend's house and she didn't offer me anything to drink??!!!??" What?
Ex friend who I had stay at my home many times and we paid for everything. Got invited to lunch by her at a cafe and we ordered, yep she expected me to pay as usual. Visiting her home and you dont even get a glass of water
Load More Replies...What kind of bad manners is this? What country was this in? If she was to bring her own food, the host or hostess should have told her when they invited her.
Yeah, I thought I missed the part where it was said that they have to bring their own food, but I guess I didn't. It def should have been said. Unless it's a potluck where all food is shared, why would I drag all my food over to someone else's house, dirty a bunch of Tupperware, and then drag all the dirty container back home? I'll just eat at home and catch up with you later.
Load More Replies...One time a friend from abroad crashed at my place for about four days because he was here for a festival. On the last night, he invited me to join him and his friends for dinner at a restaurant. His wording made me think that he was buying me dinner to thank me for hosting him. Nope. They picked the tackiest expensive restaurant, and when it was time to pay they automatically asked to split the bill. That's when I realized that inviting me out for dinner meant I could join him and his friends and buy myself dinner and eat it with them. That was the parting thank-you gift. The next time he wanted to crash at my place for another festival in the city, I was very unfortunately "away" exactly the same week he wanted to stay at my place.
Naaaaah this is a buncha BS. I would have left immediately and they'd never be invited to my place again. You invite me over to eat, I'm expecting food. Who the hell does thaaaaat! 🙄
I always thought of my sisters bday parties, where she gives a bbq but everyone has to bring their own meat, a bit.. wierd. We bring her a gift but she says it's too expensive to buy meat for everyone. Well yeah..
If it is announced beforehand it's perfectly ok. Sometimes it's too expensive to pay for it all, but if everyone brings something it can be a great party which doesn't cost a lot.
Load More Replies...This is bad communication. If the group of friends always did this - regularly join and bring their own food - they just forgot to mention this to OP. The rude part is that none of tham shared even a little bit of the food they brought. Even just a spoonfull of every dish makes a plate full of food (combined with the salad).
We went to a cheese plate only wedding, we were warned and knew it was all on a budget but I don't think anyone realised how small the platter would be and that it would be between 4 people! I was also pregnant and it turned out I could only eat one of the cheeses. Thankfully it was close to home so we left early and went home and ate hoards of peanut butter on toast.
That’s deeply weird even if they used the word potluck in the invitation. But every potluck I have ever been to had more food than could be eaten so a few confused guests could easily have been absorbed. I would have ordered a pizza then and there and refused to share it (because you just know they would have wanted some) then taken the leftovers home.
This reminds me of The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin where his wife goes away for a few days so he takes the opportunity to invite everyone he hates, and who will hate each other, to a dinner party - with no dinner. He doesn't tell them there's no food, but keeps leading them on by saying things like "Let's go through to the dining room!" and then eschewing the virtues of his dining table. Eventually he makes up some guff about it raising awareness of third-world hunger, or something.
Omg what a throwback! I used to love that series 😂
Load More Replies...Where is this? That'd never happen where I live. Even for a potluck, if someone shows up empty handed, they're fed.
Never heard of anything that awful... I host dinner parties. I provide the food. Byob. Simple, Worst for me... invited for 6.00PM dinner. Took wine. At 8.00, the hostess got up and started to cook. We ate at 10.00. Ran out of wine of course and they had none. Husband had to go out and buy more wine. We were offered water only.
Mean Girls, dinner party edition. The OP had them over to hers and fed them. When she was invited to theirs, she (quite rightly) expected the same. If it was supposed to be a potluck affair, they should have made that absolutely clear. Because they didn’t, it sounds to me like they are a bunch of gaslighting b**ches. And even on the small off chance this was just a miscommunication, they could have been much nicer and still shared all the food, including the salad.
I’d have been as petty AF, and pulled out my phone to order a Chinese/Indian delivery (NOT Pizza, as that doesn’t really require the use of utensils and doesn’t make your plate as dirty) Then once my delivery arrived I’d have wordlessly gone into the “host’s” kitchen to help myself to the necessary implements, plus seasonings… and then casually tucked in and also left them the washing up afterwards!
Funny someone mentioned above they went to their in-laws and was served a stingy bacon sandwich for breakfast because I remember going to my Scottish grandfather’s house for a visit and their was one small piece of bacon on a bap. It looked so lonely, but at least the bap was fresh. Or when I visited my dad for a weekend and he had nothing really edible in the house for breakfast, so I made some pasta. I did complain and the next time I visited, he had some Homer-O’s he found at a discount store and some soy milk. At least it was food. He kind of forgets about normal stuff. He’s got a genius IQ and I suspect he has Asperger’s.
We were going on an evening out with friends. She said, come to ours first, we can all go together, and you can have dinner here before we go out. She put on the table one small 9" diameter pizza, cut into four pieces, and a few olives. That was dinner for four. Oh and we drove them to where we were going, and took them home again afterwards.
How hard would it have been to add the words "Pot luck" to the invitation, whether spoken or written?
The guy complaining about the size of his bacon butty really doesn't belong here. It was a bit small with only one piece of toast, but hardly a story worth repeating.
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