Woman Teaches A Cunning And Stingy Older Brother A Life Lesson By Excluding Him From Family Vacation
Depending on the era, depending on the country, the age at which a person would be considered an adult varies greatly. There were times when a teenager was considered already fully grown, there were times… or not even ‘were’ – we still live in an era when, let’s say, thirty years is an age when many want to remain kids.
Well, growing up and maturity is not only about your home, work and, possibly, family. It is also the ability and willingness to take responsibility and not constantly shift the solution of problems onto the shoulders of others. Decisiveness, to put it simply. In other words, everything that was missing from the older brother of the user u/TurbulentAccess5808, whose story we will tell you today.
The author of the post is 29 Y.O. and she has two brothers, an elder and a younger one
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Around a year ago, the siblings decided to invite their parents for a family trip together
Image credits: u/TurbulentAccess5808
The author suggested paying for their parents as well, but her elder brother started going back and forth at once
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/TurbulentAccess5808
When several months ago it came to buying plane tickets, the guy still wouldn’t make his decision, so they bought tickets without him
Image credits: Vanessa Garcia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/TurbulentAccess5808
And a few days ago the man finally decided to go – so his parents offered to pay for the tickets for him
In fact, everything is quite simple. The Original Poster (OP) is 29 years old and has two brothers, an older and a younger one. About a year ago, the siblings decided to invite their parents to go on vacation together, and mom and dad, of course, were very happy about the invitation. As a result, the author of the post and her younger brother began to discuss all the details of the upcoming vacation.
Why only with the youngest bro? Because the OP’s older brother, in her own words, despite his 33 years, is usually distinguished by indecisiveness and often ready to throw a tantrum if his parents refuse him something. And now, when it came to the fact that the three siblings would pay for the trip for their parents, he began going back and forth in indecision.
No, all three have decent jobs and can afford the trip. But the older brother was initially unsure whether he would be free that day (remember, the discussion began about a year before the expected vacation date!), or whether he could afford it at all. A few months later, the OP and her younger brother contacted him again – but once more did not receive any concrete answer.
Nor did they receive one six months later. Then the OP directly stated that the time was coming to buy plane tickets, and if the brother did not make his decision, then they would assume that he was refusing. And so it happened – the tickets were purchased, and literally a few days before the trip, the older brother called and said that he wanted to go.
No problem – the author invited him to fork out for a ticket for himself, and also pay his part of the cost of tickets for their parents. But the problem was that the price of tickets six months before and a couple of days before the trip were completely different amounts. And now the man began to whine that the author was a bad planner, and because of her, he will be forced to miss the long-desired family vacation…
It got to the point that the parents, as had happened more than once in the past, offered to pay for their eldest son’s trip themselves, but this time both the OP and her younger brother categorically opposed this. According to the author of the post, this should become a harsh but perfect life lesson for their spoiled and indecisive brother…
Image credits: Torsten Dettlaff (not the actual photo)
“I don’t know all the details of raising children in this family, but at first glance it looks like the parents allowed their eldest son too much literally from early childhood,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, to whom Bored Panda reached out for a comment here. “And thus, in fact, they instilled in him a lack of confidence in his own abilities, a constant desire to act with an eye on someone else. I can’t say that this is that good for an adult.”
“Typically, all three children in the family appear to be in a stable financial and social situation, and the younger siblings show no signs of indecision at all. In any case, I sincerely believe that this man is really missing out on a family vacation as it would be a priceless life lesson for him. And, to be honest, it seems to me that he himself, as well as his parents, would benefit from it,” Irina presumes.
Almost all the people in the comments to the original post also fully support the author and her reluctance to allow the elder brother on the trip under the current circumstances. “Oldest brother is weird and acting like a child over something completely his fault,” someone aptly wrote in the comments. “Continue with your plans on the trip and let him figure his s**t out, he’s grown and did it to himself.”
And as well, according to some commenters, the elder brother is simply trying to manipulate the feelings of his parents, trying to save his money for the trip at their expense, and this is damn ugly and dishonest on his part. “You didn’t exclude your brother. He played you hoping that your parents would offer to pay for him,” another commenter supposed. So what do you think the author of the post should do in this situation?
However, both the author and her younger brother refused to do so, and the commenters heavily praise them for such a decision
Sorry this is long. I see the sibling dynamic here. The oldest brother is OP’s parents’ sunk cost for all they’ve wasted trying to help him out so much, while their other children basically got no help. I’m the baby and the only girl in my family. I had four much older brothers (between 9 and 18 years older). My oldest brother and I were always the most sensible of the five, and the closest. Two of my brothers were Vietnam vets who came home very changed, and the youngest was hit by a car as a child and sustained a head injury that I firmly believe affected his muscle ent as an adult. So the three middles all had issues, all had problems, all made big mistakes in their lives. When my oldest brother finally realized that his baby sister wasn’t a baby but was actually smart and sensible, he stopped treating me like a kid and more like an adult to talk important family stuff over with. From my perspective, it’s amazing how when you’re a kid you’re supposed to and be guided by anyone older than you, including your siblings, and it is kind of jarring to realize that they have way less sense at their much older age than you do—-but they’re the ones calling you a child. The cherry on top of it all is that my parents also helped the middles out a helluva lot more than my oldest brother and I. A helluva lot. Like down payments of houses, and taking them in several times when they hit rock bottom. They never appreciated it, and never achieved much from it. One of them was always somehow able to get the kind of jobs I dreamed about but couldn’t even get an interview for, and then f**k every one of them all up with his behavior and lack of work ethic. My oldest brother and I had plenty of times when we would’ve greatly appreciated, and done really well with, all that help. But we had to struggle to do it all by ourselves. Luckily we had each other. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all my brothers (three of whom are now deceased, as are our parents, btw I’m 62) , but when I saw all the time, effort, and money that was wasted on them by our parents, and saw and experienced a shitload of struggling between my oldest brother and myself, I shake my head at the enormous sunken cost they spent trying to help the middles launch. Proved to me that seniority doesn’t automatically equate with wisdom and sense.
I'm so sorry about your brothers and parents. It must be so hard to lose 5 family members. Hugs from me!
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True, "family helps family" but this family won't help it's family member by paying for him. They are helping him by showing that his actions have consequences and that no one owes him anything.
Ask the parents that if they believe in "family helps family ", why isn't the older brother helping them?
Load More Replies...
Sorry this is long. I see the sibling dynamic here. The oldest brother is OP’s parents’ sunk cost for all they’ve wasted trying to help him out so much, while their other children basically got no help. I’m the baby and the only girl in my family. I had four much older brothers (between 9 and 18 years older). My oldest brother and I were always the most sensible of the five, and the closest. Two of my brothers were Vietnam vets who came home very changed, and the youngest was hit by a car as a child and sustained a head injury that I firmly believe affected his muscle ent as an adult. So the three middles all had issues, all had problems, all made big mistakes in their lives. When my oldest brother finally realized that his baby sister wasn’t a baby but was actually smart and sensible, he stopped treating me like a kid and more like an adult to talk important family stuff over with. From my perspective, it’s amazing how when you’re a kid you’re supposed to and be guided by anyone older than you, including your siblings, and it is kind of jarring to realize that they have way less sense at their much older age than you do—-but they’re the ones calling you a child. The cherry on top of it all is that my parents also helped the middles out a helluva lot more than my oldest brother and I. A helluva lot. Like down payments of houses, and taking them in several times when they hit rock bottom. They never appreciated it, and never achieved much from it. One of them was always somehow able to get the kind of jobs I dreamed about but couldn’t even get an interview for, and then f**k every one of them all up with his behavior and lack of work ethic. My oldest brother and I had plenty of times when we would’ve greatly appreciated, and done really well with, all that help. But we had to struggle to do it all by ourselves. Luckily we had each other. Don’t get me wrong, I loved all my brothers (three of whom are now deceased, as are our parents, btw I’m 62) , but when I saw all the time, effort, and money that was wasted on them by our parents, and saw and experienced a shitload of struggling between my oldest brother and myself, I shake my head at the enormous sunken cost they spent trying to help the middles launch. Proved to me that seniority doesn’t automatically equate with wisdom and sense.
I'm so sorry about your brothers and parents. It must be so hard to lose 5 family members. Hugs from me!
Load More Replies... True, "family helps family" but this family won't help it's family member by paying for him. They are helping him by showing that his actions have consequences and that no one owes him anything.
Ask the parents that if they believe in "family helps family ", why isn't the older brother helping them?
Load More Replies...
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