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Regular memes are great and all, but at some point, you start craving humor with a bit more sophistication, depth, and oomph. The ‘Not Not Reading’ account on Instagram serves up exactly that. It’s a project dedicated to sharing memes with an intellectual twist. They’re very enjoyable when you recognize the context.
We’ve compiled a list of the best and freshest memes that you should definitely show your smartest friends at your next soirée. (Or just spam them online while they’re supposed to be working. We won’t judge.) Scroll down to give your brain and funny bone a good workout.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Jaya 5 months ago
I happen to be re-reading it at the moment. It's still the best thing ever. So funny.
Sally Moen 5 months ago
Douglas Adams. My favorite book in this series is The Restaurant at the Edge of the Universe. Really funny
Major Harris 5 months ago
remember to meet the "special of the day". it will tell you where the juiciest and tastiest cuts are on it! and have a "pan galactic gargle blaster" for a drink from the bar!
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Major Harris 5 months ago
do i want to dine tonight at "the restaurant at the end of the universe" or have breakfast tomorrow at "the big bang breakfast bar"?
Nota Robot 5 months ago
Sounds more like an abode for ladies of negotiable affection, as they are called in Discworld.
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Gossameringue 5 months ago
Still my favorite book of all time. I wish the universe was like this. And be a lot more livable if it were
Ervin Conn 5 months ago
I toggle between Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett for this type of humor. I love both.
RELATED:
#2
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago (edited)
Have an obnoxiously loud neighbor with zero self-awareness nor concept of time who’ll taking your ear off about the most trivial things as if they’re deep philosophical topics of debate. They don’t pick up on cues, read the room or understand subtlety. All three of us in our home constantly update each other on this person’s routines in case they change, so we can avoid them when we’re not prepared for a half hour of talk story. They’re sweet as hēll & not lonely or craving companionship. They’re just the greatest at gab.
Ghostpotato 5 months ago (edited)
Here in Sweden avoiding running into your neighbors is a national sport! https://youtu.be/fvFZULPiiuk?si=YbfzU8H1RsgJ-9RO
Mary Peace 5 months ago
How easy is it to rent a 2-bedroom place around there?
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Rick Murray 5 months ago (edited)
I once had a malicious co-worker try this with me when I called her out on some bull. After a while the manager noticed and she went on and on and on about how my routine interferes with her very existence. When it came to my turn to talk, I said that I found it quite amusing as by going to all of that effort to avoid me she is clearly paying much more attention to me than she ever did before, and as for me? I cannot tell you any details of what she has been doing as I simply don't care and haven't been paying any attention. Manager turned to her and said knock it off. :)
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
There's a regular at the bar I hang out after work and yeah. He's very loud and irritating.
keyboardtek 5 months ago
That was my daily mode of existence to avoid the bullies in eight grade.
#3
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
This is the main reason why I'll never own a laptop and continue to use my desktop PC. I'm forced to sit up straight and hold my arms/hands at the right angle/level with the monitor at the appropriate viewing height.
Intelligence is incredibly valued in this day and age. And it’s a touchy topic. Like it or not, many of us would probably feel insulted if someone said we were outright dumb or not quite as smart as we think we are. But it’s sometimes hard to know what people mean when they talk about intelligence.
Are they thinking about raw IQ, innate talent, a good memory, and a penchant for solving puzzles? Do they mean living wisely? Or perhaps being incredibly successful in life (however you define it)? Do they have in mind folks who are studious, disciplined, and well-read? Or maybe they’re subtly hinting at social or emotional intelligence?
For instance, if you’re looking specifically at success as measured by wealth, it’s not always the brainiest of the bunch that hit the jackpot. Instead, chance plays a core role here.
#4
Michael Largey 5 months ago (edited)
If it's more than three syllables, it's got to be woke.
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Annie Plamondon 5 months ago
I don't know but sometimes I think it must be hard being an atheist in the U.S.
Mel in Georgia 5 months ago
Unlike many Christians, it's not something we publicly go on about.
Load More Replies... Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
It's like something from a John Waters Film! Hilarious! 🤣🤣🤣.
Tucker Cahooter 5 months ago
I would to hear them yawning their head off as they plow through all the "begats" in 1 Chronicles
Sam Trudeau 5 months ago
I'm also Christian, the idea of this existing is hilarious to me too. I imagine the Cunk On Earth voice but younger
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Jeremy James 5 months ago
“And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up… there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, ‘Go up, thou bald head’… And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.”
#5
Kyra Noelle 5 months ago
Then you get to live in a perpetual state of anxiety
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 5 months ago
The physical sensation of anxiety always begins in my chest. It tightens, my breathing becomes rapid and shallow, and my heart palpitates. From there it spreads to my limbs. Took me a few years to distinguish between anxiety attacks and hypertension because the symptoms are practically identical.
#6
Robert Millar 5 months ago
I think the thief was a bit of a Kant himself.
Load More Replies... Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
I wonder if I can just buy that Amazon tape online. Make my own special porch pirate presents.
LookASquirrel 5 months ago
just open any Amazon boxes on the other side and seal with packing tape. I would not encourage luring them to your place though. I haven't had anything taken since I installed a cheap camera. it doesn't work anymore but it's obvious so it's a good deterrent.
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Missandei Worm 5 months ago
I have had a package stolen, opened, then returned before. I guess they had no use for work clogs
Tabitha 5 months ago
Same. Married a Brit, who likes his toast cold, so I ordered a toast rack. We don’t use them here in the states. The toast rack did not arrive, so I gave up on it. Months later, guess what appeared on our doorstep, looking like it had been ripped open more than once, and wrapped in duct tape. This was at a time when one of the two mail sorting centers our mail could be routed through was shut down because of all the complaints about packages not being delivered. Turns out the employees were stealing them on the regular. That place was also located waaaaay out in the boondocks (think cousin f****r boondocks), and I assume that low calibre of employee was all they could get. Guess that thief—-or those thieves—-took one look at the toast rack, could not for the life of them figure out WTF it was, and decided to send it on to its intended recipient, me, like they should’ve done in the first damned place.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 5 months ago
The contents had no signifiKant value for them. We're told to take things philosophically, but in this case the thieves declined to do so.
Juris Macto 5 months ago
I can speculate that an organic chemistry textbook would have made them explode
Roni Stone 5 months ago
Everybody! Raise yer tankards an' dring a sonk wi' me! "Immanuel Kant was a real p*ssant..."
Bret Sander 5 months ago
Chris Rock has a great routine where he tells people to hide their money in books, because anyone boosting your place is probably too dumb to even notice the books.
In one of the best-titled articles, well, ever—“If you’re so smart, why aren’t you rich?”—the MIT Technology Review argues that the most successful, wealthiest people aren’t the most talented ones. They’re “just the luckiest” ones. At least, based on the work done on a computer model of wealth creation by Alessandro Pluchino and his colleagues at the University of Catania.
“The maximum success never coincides with the maximum talent, and vice-versa,” according to the researchers. “It is evident that the most successful individuals are also the luckiest ones. And the less successful individuals are also the unluckiest ones.”
Extrapolating from this, the best strategy for funding scientists, for instance, would be to give everyone equal funding. Just in case they accidentally make a big discovery. And just because one scientist got lucky before doesn't make it more likely that they'll get lucky again.
#7
Barbara Wilcock 5 months ago
Just whisper to them. You could be an omelette, scrambled, boiled. Or devil 👿
Panda Cat 5 months ago
Or “Angel Pocket Eggs” as some batch of Christians want to call them. Funny thing- the eggs aren’t named after the devil and the devil, hell, and Sat*an aren’t really biblical.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 5 months ago
I do it so the tray is balanced, weight-wise. Nothing worse than picking up the tray, all the weight is concentrated on one side, and the damned styrofoam/cardboard/WTF ever starts to bend. I prefer not to have to clean sticky egg crud off my counters and floors, thank you very much.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
The eggs just shrug and say "Six of one, half a dozen of the other."
#8
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Bahaha, and it's always the most random topics too! Unfortunately I forget most of my brilliant points until about 20 minutes later 🤦🏽♀️
Lowrider 56 5 months ago
Yeah, for me, I come up with mine about 10pm when im trying to fall asleep.
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Tom Brincefield 5 months ago
My family thinks I'm highly intelligent, well read, and educated. Until I disagree with something they believe in. Not sure if my sister still believes the HAARP conspiracies. But I did manage to keep her out of QAnon.
XenoMurph 5 months ago
Yea, but then they don't listen past the first sentence of my ten minute lecture.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
Yupp. I'm trying for "concise", but when their eyes get glazed over within seconds I'm tempted to end my sentence in "blableeblubb" and keep an eye on their facial expression to see, if they realize what I'm saying. I prefer (wo)mansplaining in writing. That way I can fine tune my answers and don't have to watch people tuning me out.
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WFH Forever 5 months ago
It gets better. You explain it to the ignorant one and then they ask someone else because they don't like your answer. The new person says "Whatever WFH Forever said is right."
Michael Largey 5 months ago
I've been waiting for years for this to happen. Then I realized that first I have to know a lot about something.
Rebecca Taylor 5 months ago
I usually get this kind of person when they are dumb as a box of rocks also to put it politely
Nosirrow 5 months ago
A guy insisted on greeting me with: good day bc that's how they start emails in the American company he works for. I told him I've had so much contact with the American culture and even worked for an American and never heard this as a greeting. Only as an annoyed: good day to you, sir! at the end of conversation. But I don't argue, just state the facts and let the other person think it over.
#9
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago (edited)
100%! I have co-workers who go audiobook and listen to them at like 2X speed. No clue why or how. I could never do it. If I have headphones on, I'm listening to music. When I want a book, I READ a book. Music and reading is one of my favorite things. I don't get podcasts either.
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Colleen Glim 5 months ago
Ebooks are a blessing. You don’t get the smell, but you can store hundreds of them in one small package and read in the dark
detective miller's hat 5 months ago
I dropped almost $100 at Barnes and Noble just this past weekend.
Tom Brincefield 5 months ago (edited)
I gave my books their own room. Now they want their own house.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
I have a (maybe) irrational fear of running out of reading material. To prevent that from happening, I need to constantly buy more books.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
I am incapable of walking past the racks of books on the sidewalk during the summer. Doesn't matter how many books I haven't started, I'll still go through the ones on exhibit. You never know what you'll find.
Cognitive intelligence, directly associated with IQ (intelligence quotient) and so-called ‘book smarts,’ mainly focuses on visual and spatial processing, knowledge of the world, fluid reasoning, working memory, short-term memory, and quantitative reasoning. Your cognitive intelligence affects your academic performance, expertise, critical thinking, and logic.
Meanwhile, according to Verywell Mind, emotional intelligence (EQ), aka ‘street smarts,’ revolves around your ability to perceive, control, evaluate, and express emotions. This includes understanding how other people feel, as well as your ability to self-regulate, and using emotions for social communication. In a nutshell, your EQ is directly correlated to your empathy, self-awareness, and relationships.
#10
Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
I keep making mistakes that aren't really mistakes because I have osteoarthritis in my fingers and they slip or I don't use enough pressure on the keys.
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DragonofMordor 5 months ago
Yup. Sometimes it is mistakes from 15 years ago. But my brain doesn't care.
Rick Murray 5 months ago
3AM? Mine does this *constantly*, complete with sarcasm and creative obscenities.
#11
DowntownStevieB 5 months ago
I write music and I can say that, when you are good at it, you don't need the headphones to hear the music.
Tom Nagel 5 months ago
I'm a chef. I'm the same way with recipes. I can taste them before I even start.
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Karl der Große 5 months ago
I know it's a joke, but there was a band director at a school where I worked who would hear the music when he looked at the score. Sometimes he would sing out the loud notes or tap his foot to the beat.
goldenwood_cottage 5 months ago
I thought it was like that for everyone who could read music?
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Jerome Lenovo 5 months ago
that guitar solo sounds so rad, i wonder which guitar and amp he's using
Roni Stone 5 months ago
I'mma 'bout to tap him harshly on the shoulder and tell him to turn down his reading, it's disturbing my sleep.
keyboardtek 5 months ago
I would write my composition out for my jazz piano teacher and instead of playing it, he would just look at it and could hear it in his brain.
ManuelQue 5 months ago
I have a mind's eye and a mind's ear. It was hell trying to sleep when I was attending broadcast school as my brain would go into a chaotic replay of the day. Oddly, a warm bath, however short, worked amazingly well to solve that.
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Diane Tucker 5 months ago
Hah, I've done this while busing to choir practice. One rehearses the music in one's head. But yeah, it looks strange!
#12
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Truth! Unless you plan on moving to a new town and starting all over again, then plan to be the hedonist you were meant to be.
Having a high IQ is, of course, an advantage. Typically, it means that you’ll do well in school, potentially earn more money, and live a healthier lifestyle. That being said, being book-smart won’t necessarily mean that you’re successful or happy.
Your ability to get along with other people is phenomenally important. These days, many companies check applicants’ EQ scores and even organize EQ training courses. Generally, people with strong leadership and managerial potential tend to be more emotionally intelligent.
#13
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Before Microsoft finally included AutoSave, I just forced myself to hit Ctrl+S after every couple of lines. I saw too many people losing their sh!t when they lost pages of their work.
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
Hey! You can't throw this out like that and not say the name of the book! 😫
Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
Okay, I looked it up, and just in case anyone else was wondering: apparently "The quote "Everything not saved will be lost" is a well-known phrase, often associated with video games, particularly Nintendo's "quit screen" message. It was also used as the epigraph for the novel The End Games by T. Michael Martin. The novel's epigraph misquoted the original Nintendo message, which was "Anything not saved will be lost""
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#14
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Just waiting to capitalize on them cheap homes... ::checks watch::
Catie D 5 months ago
Just wait for the H2H H5N1 pandemic, which will be along within 2 years at most.
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BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
Fellow Gen X here. I'm putting money away every month for the last 28 years with the hope that one day, one of my kids will be able to retire. I just gotta figure out which one it will be.
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Nicole Weymann 5 months ago
I've always *hated* needlework, despite being attracted to the DIY concept in general. I'm actually tempted to take up cross stitching with motifs like this! 🤔😆
Load More Replies... keyboardtek 5 months ago
The investment firms that are buying up housing support our current medical insurance system because they just have to wait for people to go bankrupt from medical bills and they put their house up for sale.
Panda Cat 5 months ago
Generation Jones doesn’t have it very good either. We were screwed more than most people by Reagan so we couldn’t get decent jobs after graduation and then swung into the “companies exist solely for the shareholders and we’ll dump employees at the slightest provocation” mindset. I really wish my father would have maintained his Swedish citizenship but the mindset was that they should have only one citizenship. I asked my uncle to get his and adopt me - we all hated my dad anyway- but he wouldn’t. *sigh*
#15
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
I read a webcomic (yes they still exist) Called Existential Comics and this is so that kind of humor.
The good thing is that everyone can improve both their IQ and EQ. A few ways that you can improve your IQ, according to Verywell Mind, include things like:
- Practicing memory activities, and doing puzzles and concentration games;
- Improving your reasoning skills by playing games that rely on higher-order reasoning;
- Building your relational skills by reading and making comparisons between things;
- Learning a new language.
#16
Mary Peace 5 months ago
I have to take a cushion with me when I go out tonight, must try this!
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Shelley DuVal 5 months ago
Same as when you clean a vacuum cleaner, makes you a vacuum cleaner.
Mary Peace 5 months ago
Suppose you're a waiter employed in another restaurant, are you a waiter in waiting?
#17
Fire Singer 5 months ago
My mind doesn't quiet, so I've learned to focus on one thing. I learned from Wheel of Time actually I just focus on a candle flame in my mind. :) Doesn't always work but it helps.
Kenny Kulbiski 5 months ago
Okay, so your mind tells your mind to be quiet. Just how the hell is that supposed to work? Now you're arguing with yourself.
Lil be lil 5 months ago
Me:be quiet, me: but I...Me: be quiet, me: and then.... Me: be quiet....
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Riley Quinn 5 months ago
I can distract myself during waking hours with little trouble, but those minutes just prior to falling asleep - alone, in the dark, with no distraction - is when my brain starts whirling. I find counting Prime numbers distracts me enough to fall asleep.
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
My husband and I listen to Ancient Aliens to help us fall asleep. It's all so ridiculous that our minds just shut off.
Load More Replies... Shelley DuVal 5 months ago
My mind does the Can-Can and the Charleston at the same time, all the time.
Lil be lil 5 months ago
No, there is only a long long long long long long long expl.....
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sbj 5 months ago
HaHa! I'm all for people studying subject areas they are really interested in but the sad fact is that in todays world you have to have to have qualifications in areas that 'society' wants
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
The problem is that a college education wasn't intended to be a jobs training program. By forcing everybody to go to college, you create degree inflation. Now you need a master's degree to become an executive assistant, where 40 years ago a high-school diploma was enough.
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Serial pacifist 5 months ago
Hahahah. The slogan must be: If you Kant find a job, the X Marx the spot for your career.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
And you can't afford to date, so all your relationships will be platonic.
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DragonofMordor 5 months ago
I mean, I know a lot of lawyers who majored in philosophy. Personally I started out majoring in history and then switched to criminal justice when I switched to a school that actually had that as a major.
ॐBoyGanesh 5 months ago (edited)
If one’s goal is a factory, maybe don’t waste time & money majoring in anything and instead go to a trade school to develop skills needed at said factory. Also, is it really most people’s goals or sense of success to work in a factory? Nothing wrong with that, but I think avoiding factory work is precisely why people pursue secondary education, particularly advanced degrees. It could be a waste of time regardless of major. Or not.
Science Nerd 5 months ago
I personally know several people in IT with “liberal arts” degrees. They do just as well as people with STEM degrees.
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Joe Bloe 5 months ago
Secondary economy, factories and such, only represent 15% of the economy. 75-80% is tertiary economy : services. IT mean you have 5 times more chance to work behind a desk than behind a control panel in a factory. Conservative people can't understand this and still believe production is the heart of economy.
Probably Legal 5 months ago
Who goes down in history? The factory workers or the philosophers?
Meanwhile, here are a few ways to boost your EQ:
- Build your self-awareness by focusing on how you feel and observing your emotions;
- Keep a journal so that you better understand yourself;
- Put in the effort to empathize with someone. Put yourself in their shoes and consider how they might feel;
- Approach situations with more of an open mind and less judgment so you consider new ideas and perspectives;
- Practice mindfulness by focusing on the present moment instead of worrying about the past or future.
#19
BrunoVI 5 months ago
The terrifying thing is I couldn't tell you whether that picture was from Taxi or Always Sunny in Philadelphia... FOURTY YEARS APART!!!
Bec 5 months ago
I use Danny as an example in my community college class (related to his height and distribution of men's height). I always stop to ask, who is this? Where do you know him from? Matilda is a common answer, occasionally an older student will say Taxi, Batman.
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DrBronxx 5 months ago
Wait. How did you already know about it? Unless the topic was purely about your experience: 1) you have to have gained the knowledge somewhere; and 2) you have to cite sources to back up what you're saying anyway.
Panda Cat 5 months ago
I know a lot of things that I’d be hard pressed to cite. Sometimes I look for them and I cannot find them. One thing I’d love to find is the video I saw of red blood cells going through capillaries. I’ve looked and find nothing.
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Abel 5 months ago (edited)
Everything is better with Devito! Edit: Except that movie with Arnold...
LookASquirrel 5 months ago
Omg it was on cable the other afternoon and I tried to watch it because terrible summer cold. I saw it in the theater when it came out with my best friend when movies were cheap. I didn't last more than 10 minutes and i've loved Danny DeVito since watching him in Taxi with my mom to Sunny in Philly!
Load More Replies... Panda Cat 5 months ago
I think everyone assumes we have a base knowledge based on what we’ve learned before.
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Stannous Flouride 5 months ago
If you love Mr Devito's work and haven't seen his short film "Curmudgeons" do yourself a favor and go look it up right now.
Panda Bear 5 months ago
I ran into this problem a few times in school. Usually just made something up
#20
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
I had a fascination with both philosophy and psychology from a young age, and this makes so much sense now.
Abel 5 months ago (edited)
I think that most of the philosophers in occidental story are just guys that ended believing they are god /j!
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#21
ABC NrTen FCK CENSORISM 5 months ago
Me trying to think of any reasoning at ALL when in a real argument images-685...6ccaed.jpg 
Nobody becomes brainy and incredibly socially intelligent overnight. It’s a long, incremental process. If you realize that you’re not quite as (cognitively or emotionally) intelligent as you’d like to be, you can take small steps every single day to get into the habit of improving.
For example, you could take a few minutes each day to read a few science, history, or other articles, catch up on global news, or read at least a few lines from a new book. Meanwhile, try to focus on observing your feelings and those of the people around you more often.
#22
Rick Murray 5 months ago (edited)
[looks at the news] It's "in progress", or maybe just buffering.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Hey, I've been using Microsoft for decades. I know patience is required for the failure of the system.
#23
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Oh, so much more delectable! Although some days I would prefer the mild memory...
#24
Michael Largey 5 months ago
The first two can be accomplished in a day. The last is the work of a lifetime.
Lil be lil 5 months ago
If first you fail try, try again. Enough philosophizing!
Load More Replies... Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
Yeah pretty sure guys like that are kinds common. At least they are here in Portland.
Load More Replies... And, when learning new things and habits, it’s phenomenally helpful if you lead a healthy lifestyle. The more energetic and well-rested you are, the easier you’ll learn and grow.
So, focus on getting the basics right. Get plenty of sleep. Stay hydrated. Eat nutritious food. Move a lot. Avoid ultra-processed foods and unhealthy habits like drinking and smoking. Be social. And try to find joy in the things you’re studying, instead of seeing it as a dull duty.
#25
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
It's not our fault that all of our brilliance and motivation only cohabitate for a brief window in the middle of the night.
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#26
UKGrandad 5 months ago (edited)
How to make an olive. Take some grapes, hollow them out, fill them with evil. EDIT: Downvoted because I don't like Satan's haemorrhoids 🙄
Fire Singer 5 months ago
Upvoted because I too hate olives. And because your post was funny.
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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
I grew up across the river from the Hanford Nuclear Reservation. My skin already has a healthy glow thank you much.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Love me some olives. But I like them chopped and sprinkled on top of my cream cheese toast.
Panda Cat 5 months ago
This sounds good. I’ll attach my last Sad B*****d instructions here. , IMG_0315-6...3-jpeg.jpg 
Panda Cat 5 months ago
I thought the Sad B*****d Cookbook had that recipe but it turns out they don’t. The link for the book is below but here are some screenshots from it. IMG_0302-6...7-jpeg.jpg 
Edward Loopyderm 5 months ago
I only ever ate one olive. That was 50 years ago. It was so bad I've never repeated that act.
K Barnes 5 months ago
That was me... I thought they were the grossest food ever created. Literally the worst of the worst. Now I've acquired a taste for them and love em! Never thought it possible. Trying something more than once can be a good thing!
Load More Replies... Panda Cat 5 months ago
https://a.co/d/aosExlG I love olives and I’m pretty sure I have the cookbook this recipe is from. IMG_0300-6...nsored.jpg 
#27
Panda'sMom 5 months ago
Could often find me hiding from some chore or another deeply engrossed in that day's book! Hummm, still can.
Originally created just over four years ago in May 2021, the ‘Not Not Reading’ account has grown to have a pretty sizeable following. Currently, it boasts 172k followers on Instagram. The curator of the account quips that “this is not a bookclub.”
They also allude to the brainy content with the line in the bio: ‘not “not reading” books,’ which is a double-negative way of saying that you read books. Aka, you're (probably) smart (or think you are).
#28
Nikole 5 months ago
It’s going to be (calculating…) over 35 C here in two days and will last for like 4 days. Chicago is wacky.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
Oh that's my son that will be 34 in 2 weeks. He says adulting is hard and what were we thinking when we were kids?
#29
Jaya 5 months ago
I hate when people do that, and it makes zero sense. A person who is bad at spelling can still be right. Judge statements on their content, not on whether the person writing them spells badly or other personal stuff about the other person that has nothing to do with it.
Regina Holt 5 months ago
I just accept that spelling errors could be someone for whom English is not their first language, or they have fat thumbs, or the ever ev!l autocorect
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Joe Bloe 5 months ago
It's easy to put these kind of people in their place, show ing they have no argument left and resort to fallacies.
Gabby M 5 months ago
Unfortunately, this particular specimen ALWAYS has a retort lol
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 5 months ago
I’m an editor by occupation, and it’s just good manners to abstain from editing when I’m not doing it for work.
Pandemonium 5 months ago
I not me. One of the more stupid English rules (subjective pronoun after 'to be' verb even though it sure looks like the object to me).
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Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 5 months ago
EXACTLY! The even numbers are on one side of the hall and the odd numbers the other. All the numbers on the sign are even. He's looking the wrong way.
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Gémeaux jumeaux 5 months ago
YES. Feels like the start to a Nicholas Cage movie.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 5 months ago
Somebody either doesn't know how to count or they put the wrong number on it. At Duke Hospital whoever decided in Clinic letters doesn't know the alphabet. There's Clinic A thru F and then maybe L thru N, then G thru K etc. They are out of order so bad that it's irritating and confusing. I would love to know who the idiot is that came up with that mess and teach them the alphabet!
Nikole 5 months ago
There’s a missing house number (actual street address) between me and one of my neighbors.
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Riley Quinn 5 months ago
I saw an Amazon delivery person lost and confused out front. I hollered down to meet me at the front door. I didn't understand why he didn't just buzz the flat to be let in until I saw the address on the package labeled as Apt. #2. Our units begin with #101. Someone at Amazon screwed up.
Honestly, we’d love to hear which of these intellectual memes you enjoyed the most, Pandas. Which ones were right up your alley? Were there any funny pics that you didn’t quite get because you were unfamiliar with the context? Objectively speaking, how smart would you say you are? How much time do you spend reading every week?
Would you say that you have a higher IQ or EQ? Let us know in the comments at the very bottom of this post!
#31
Catie D 5 months ago
I mean, Godzilla's parents never showed up in any of the movies, so this could be true...
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 5 months ago
And his mother never gave him a hug. You know, because of the big head and tiny arms.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
I'm sticking with the original version of Gojira as a victim of nuclear weapons that caused his suffering from the devastating impact of nuclear testing. Can't blame him for going on a rampage destroying cities when you know it was shortsighted moronic humans that destroyed his peaceful life.
Panda'sMom 5 months ago
My father was so distant I never saw him. Which was actually a good thing.
#32
keyboardtek 5 months ago
Five guys drunk on alcohol will start a fight. Five guys high on weed will start a band.
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Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
This is not only not incorrect but rather surprising in its accuracy, upon reflection
Power puff scientist 5 months ago
doesnt stop there, many communist were also pretty good at drinking....
#33
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
It's classic bike shedding. "The time spent on any item of the agenda will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved." -- Cyril Northcote Parkinson (British Naval Historian)
#34
LittleTeapot 5 months ago
I read this as “the inCOherently indescribable nature of the universe”and I almost like that even better!!
#35
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Me when I'm online shopping. Back and forth, around and around, reading the reviews,... By the time I'm finished, I'm more exhausted than if I'd gone through every store in a shopping mall.
keyboardtek 5 months ago
In that case, you need to let an all knowing authoritarian figure make all your decisions. Let Donald run your life.
#36
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Oh yeah, I bet he twirled that mustache so nefariously too!
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cholera epidemic 5 months ago
What philosophy does to an mf (sincerely, a clinically depressed philosophy student)
Caffeinated Ape 5 months ago
Clinically depressed philosophy (former) student solidarity! Woo!
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R Ferreira 5 months ago
Because they know more about the Human Nature than all of us together.
#37
MaggieMay85 5 months ago
Well I have to do a Midwest goodbye, so I’ll probably be going home so much later with a parting, “watch out for deer!”
RomanceRadish 5 months ago
Slap your knees as you're standing up. "Welp."
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Marilyn Holt 5 months ago
But now it's the best time to just slip out the door and no one will notice
#38
Lil be lil 5 months ago
"The Blob" was pretty scary....it started oozing out of the movie projection window and.....😥😥😈
#39
Multa Nocte 5 months ago
That will make the comment sections much more fun to read without all their useless chatter.
Load More Replies... Lady Eowyn 5 months ago
My late cousin's DJ name (he had a radio show) was Citzen Kafka. R.I.P. Richard.
#40
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
Hey there, beautiful, can I take you out for a... meal? There's a new fondue place I've been meaning to try. They'll LOVE you!
Load More Replies... Pandemonium 5 months ago
I guess i need to eat even more cheese because I still remember where we're headed and that we're gaining speed at an increasing rate
Mark (it/urgh) 5 months ago
The casein in cheese activates the opiate receptors in our brains.
#41
Abel 5 months ago
I tried to read the Dante's Divine Comedy. I couldnt pass from page 20...The footnotes take more space than the actual text...
Catlady6000 5 months ago
I managed to wade through it once. I was left with the impression that Dante was on d***s. Not good ones, either
Load More Replies... Roni Stone 5 months ago
Me with my ancient Greek textbook and my ancient Greek dictionary right before a test.
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
This was Blood Meridian and John Sepich's annotation/critical analysis for me.
#42
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
"So that it must, in fine, be maintained, all things being maturely and carefully considered, that this proposition. I am, I exist, is necessarily true each time it is expressed by me via beep, or conceived in my mind. *Tiny pathetic existential Nissan beeping*" - Renes Descartes.
Lil be lil 5 months ago
I'm not even in the picture, I don't drive. So I guess I exist but you wouldn't know it. So.... could be just living' a different reality.
Mapleroot 5 months ago
honk! honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!honk!v
#43
#44
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
Guy literally had a thermae-thought debate with himself that he found so gripping he had to share it with the public.
#45
Roni Stone 5 months ago
I did the entrails last night. You don't wanna know what's coming next.
Load More Replies... Panda Cat 5 months ago
Add John Oliver to get the “John Oliver Effect.” He’s where many of us get that extra leg up on being informed. Once you try him, head over to podcasts and find The Bugle with Andy Zaltzman and assorted comedians from English speaking nations. John Oliver was co-host. IMG_7051-6...e-jpeg.jpg 
#46
Maim 5 months ago
When you see someone has read your text, but they don't answer. Instead of thinking they are ignoring you, think positively! You left them speechless!!!
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RedMarbles 5 months ago
If someone "leaves you on read," it means that you can see in your texting app that the text you sent them has been read but the person has not responded. Not everyone has or uses that feature, or allows it to be shown on someone else's texting app, but the text you've sent may show "delivered" next to the text, indicating the text went through but has not yet been read, or "read," indicating that the text has been read.
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#47
#48
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
This strikes me as more "I nerd out over this thing that no one else has discovered / has decided is worth nerding out over yet". For some reason, my mind has decided the perfect example of this would be being an expert on the TV series Mannix in 2025.
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Anne Roberts 5 months ago
Checking your bank balance is the adult equivalent of a little kid checking for monsters under their bed.
#50
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Yes! All of the others just tend to get lost in my comically long and superfluous sentences... And ellipses too - I ♥️ ellipses!
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
Whenever I see an em-dash in anything I immediately assume I'm reading something written by ChatGPT. Those LLMs love em-dashes for some reason.
sturmwesen 5 months ago
I was rather infamous for writing 5 line sentences in 7th grade. Worse, since I hated "," even then.
#51
#52
Caffeinated Ape 5 months ago
Clearly it is! Just look at how the poor thing ended up!
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#54
#55
Regina Holt 5 months ago
That is the truth. People vote against their own needs, just to stick it to the other "side"
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#56
#57
Tabitha 5 months ago (edited)
Listen, JSTOR got me through my undergraduate and graduate courses. I actually DID have to read and comprehend what I downloaded because I had to cite my sources, and the profs were obviously way better read in the subject than me. In fact, some of my sources were written by a couple of my instructors, so if I didn’t know what they were talking about, and just pulled a quote that sounded good to cite, I would get grilled on it. Especially in grad school, where you essentially repeat your undergrad major electives BUT go way way more into depth with them, and have to end up genuinely understanding them (to the point where you could teach the undergrad version).
#58
ElfVibratorGlitter 5 months ago
I don't hate this. When I had my project set up I'd put on rotating artwork or pretty visual art scenes. 🤷🏻♂️ Or sometimes birds and squirrel feeder cams and my cat would lose her s**t.
#59
Sally Moen 5 months ago
Who BUYS books? I let books pile up in my Libby account and then go checkout a stack of New Arrivals at the public library.
Tabitha 5 months ago
If it’s a book I like and know I will read again and again, because I already have read it multiple times and loved it every time, then I buy a copy—-and another copy and another when I’ve worn the previous one out. If it’s a book I want and I know it’s out of print, I will buy a copy when I come across one. If it’s a book I want or need, and it’s not in the library, I will buy a copy, even if it’s the cheapest one I can find. So there ARE situations where buying a book is the more expedient thing to do.
Load More Replies... Novlette Williams 5 months ago
I go to the book store to see what's new or find some title I may want to read and go check it out at the library.
RomanceRadish 5 months ago
I found a site where various thrift stores across USA sell used books at fairly low prices. I've had good results (for books not available at library, or that I want long-term). It's Abe Books.
#60
The Majestic Opossum 5 months ago
Yes, but the butterfly is on fire. The bush is on fire. Everything is on fire. Then, it's accurate.
#61
Pandemonium 5 months ago
Non-fiction has facts but good fiction has Truth
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#62
Isabel Galvez 5 months ago
I come from one of the dark blue areas. Be prepared to eat everything or forever offend your host.
Jerome Lenovo 5 months ago
bring all the gaspacho, tapas, queso and salpicon you want cousin ........... a portuguese
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Christos Arvanitis 5 months ago
Being of Greek descent, I can say that there should be another color- "Will be given food even if you explicitly say 'no' ". Plenty of other cultures that this applies to as well...
OneHappyPuppy 5 months ago
Came here to say something similar - the further south you go into the dark blue area the less choice you have to deny the food you're offered
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RomanceRadish 5 months ago
Does this include Grandmas? Because that's a whole category on its own. Plus they send food home with you.
Rick Murray 5 months ago
I'm right on the border between "usually" and "unlikely". So I get to say "it depends upon who you are". ;) [and whether or not you like linguine]
Robert Beveridge 5 months ago
D**n it, Sweden has always seemed like the place to go... I guess nobody's perfect
#63
#64
Jerome Lenovo 5 months ago
nah , houellebecq isnt a philosopher, he's just a drunk r4cist m**o
#65
#68
Sam Trudeau 5 months ago
Anyone else read that in the donkey's voice from Shrek?
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#69
#71
#72
Jerome Lenovo 5 months ago
i saw in the news last night a reporter asking questions to kids after the philosophy test of the "baccalaureat" .... one said espinoza. I guess it didnt go well for him
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