“Further Truancy Would Result In Charges”: Mom Has Had It With Truant Son Finding Ways To Skip School, Ensures He Never Does So Again
Teenage rebellion is a natural part of growing up. However, for parents, it’s often a difficult and stressful time. Reddit user u/HelpIHateTexas shared a story on the subreddit r/pettyrevenge about her 16-year-old son that perfectly illustrates this.
The boy started skipping school. It got to a point that no matter what the mom did, he found a way to get out of classes. Worried that he was putting his future at risk, she turned to a police officer she knew for help.
This mom couldn’t get her teenage son to stop skipping classes
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
So she asked a police officer she knew to play a trick on him
Image credits: Martin Jernberg (not the actual photo)
Image source: HelpIHateTexas
We got in touch with u/HelpIHateTexas and she was kind enough to give more information on her son’s troublesome time.
“My relationship with my son was very good,” the mom told Bored Panda. “As long as he made good grades, communicated his whereabouts, stayed out of trouble with the law, did not do hard drugs and/or alcohol, and practiced safe sex, I let him make his own decisions. This particular instance broke the ‘stay out of trouble with the law’ rule, so I had to act, for both of our benefits!”
When asked about her son’s academic performance, u/HelpIHateTexas said, “In general I had to ‘chase’ J to make him keep up with his academic responsibilities. He made it to graduation but not without a fair amount of nagging. School just wasn’t a priority for him.”
u/HelpIHateTexas also added that “college and university are not for everyone, and I knew pretty early he was not an academic-oriented child. That was OK, but I at least wanted him to finish high school so he had options.”
The post highlights just how seriously some states take school attendance
Image credits: Dids (not the actual photo)
Schools take truancy seriously, as excessive absences negatively impact a child’s ability to be a successful student. Data from The Department of Education shows that kids who miss a lot of classes are more likely to fall behind in reading skills, and have a higher drop-out rate than their peers who attend them.
Additionally, public schools in some states like California and Texas receive state and federal funding based on their daily attendance, so they’re heavily motivated in getting students to come in every single day.
Under the “compulsory education” laws in Texas, all children must attend school from the time they’re 6 (or are enrolled in first grade) until they turn 19. There are exceptions, and some students may leave school early if they meet the Texas requirements for dropping out at age 17 or 18.
Although the state has decriminalized its treatment of truants, some parents could still face criminal penalties for not making their children go to school.
In Texas, parents can, in fact, face harsh repercussions if their children routinely skip classes
Image credits: EKATERINA BOLOVTSOVA (not the actual photo)
In 2015, Texas changed the way it deals with truant students. Instead of sending them to juvenile court, the state now has a multistage process focused on addressing the underlying causes of attendance programs. When a student has three or more unexcused absences in a six-month period during the same school year, the district will either:
- refer the student to counseling, mediation, or other services; or
- require the student and parents to follow a behavior improvement plan.
If those prevention measures fail and students rack up 10 or more absences in 6 months, schools will refer them to truancy court unless those absences resulted from pregnancy, homelessness, being in foster care, or being the main bread-earners in their families. Although truancy isn’t a crime, this civil court may order the truants to take “remedial” steps, such as:
- attending school regularly;
- attending a tutorial program or a high school equivalency prep course;
- performing community service;
- attending a special program that provides training or help with things like substance abuse, counseling, or job skills.
Truancy courts may order the parents of frequently absent students to do certain things too, including participate in counseling, take special classes, or perform community service.
If parents disobey those orders, they could be charged with contempt and face fines, up to 3 years in jail, and/or community service. Parents could also face misdemeanor charges if they were criminally negligent by not forcing their kids to go to school.
Although her methods were unusual, it sounds like this mom successfully managed to get her teen to change his ways, and they both avoided any further trouble.
“There were a lot of replies suggesting I failed as a parent because I did not include information on the many discussions my son and I had about why he didn’t want to go to school,” u/HelpIHateTexas added. “Of course, we had those discussions! There was no bullying and no trauma. It basically boiled down to him having a bad sleep schedule. He was a ‘night owl’ and even when I grounded him from games and TV, he stayed up all night. This made him want to stay home and sleep all day!”
Despite some negative responses on Reddit, she stands by the decision to stage the arrest, saying, “No other ‘battle plan’ would have worked as quickly and thoroughly as the arrest I staged. The change in his attendance was immediate and we had way less angst in our morning routine. I don’t regret handling it how I did at all.”
The story went viral and has received a lot of reactions
Some folks also shared similar personal experiences
Or you could, you know, actually talk to your son find out just what he hates about school. Has something changed? Is he being bullied by his teachers? My younger brother started skipping school several times a week, and when my mom talked to him about it, she learned that he couldn't stand being made fun of for his terrible acne. She taught him that he wouldn't have to return to school if he could pass the
Does any 16 year old really like school? Not very many, I'd guess.
Im 16 and the only reason i actually go is cause of sports and band
I loved school at 16... It was better than my home life...
hate to tell u this but not every parent will listen to their kids and make compromises. wen i was in middle school i was bullied told my parents i didnt want to go anymore. all they said was too bad. in high school it got much worse. i said it again "im being bullied i cant take it anymore" all they said was "make sure u get that scholarship for track and ull b fine". as a result the anxeity disorder they didnt think i had got much worse to the point where i have 5 different types of anxeity. i couldnt finish college bc of my anxeity. after 3 failed colleges and 10 failed job attempts my parents finally believed i have anxeity. not all parents listen or notice something is wrong or willing to talk. my parents r proof of that. its been 8 years since my relationship with my parents was fixed. it only became perfect about 3 or 4 years ago tho. it took me getting married and moving out as well as them moving to a different state for it to become perfect. i kno my husband will protect me from their bs and they cant cause me stress and anxeity 24/7. i havent had a panic attack in 4 years and the only difference is that my parents moved and im married. my parents out of my life fixed everything
Oml im sry u had to go through that... that wasnt parenting the was child neglegence and congrats on getting away from that.... congrats on the marriage too :).... edit: i dont think i used neglegence correctly but i hope yall get the idea :3
Done that with my kids. After discussing with them, I determined that the best possible thing for them WOULD be to actually let them skip when they feel like as long as they're actually getting stuff done, but since the STATE says they have to go I can't give them that choice. Actually the BEST thing to do would be if the state actually offered charter schools with Montessori or Waldorf/Steiner methods (i.e. kids learn what they f$#@ing want to learn and as a result they love learning, score higher in every category and even thrive if they have ADHD or other things that would make them fail regular school), but they don't.
If I remember my teenage years, my answer would have been a very revealing "I dunno".
Oh STFU. She not only taught him that his actions have consequences, but how those consequences hurt others. This is the most valuable lesson that any parent can teach their children.
Though it's fair to say this isn't the case for all: when I was a teenager, I hated school but felt compelled to keep going. It didn't matter what anyone told me. The fact is: when you're a teenager, sometimes your raging hormones won't let you be reasoned with.
My son has missed school because of diagnosed neurological and mental health issues, but somehow they keep sending me letters about how they could have me arrested. They can certainly try. It's going to be on the news though, I can guarantee them that.
GED. He did on his first try, and their relationship was deepened.
I didn't want to go to school even I was 16. If not for the fact that my sisters were with me to school, I would have skipped it. I did skip all the rallies. Have never even seen inside the gym outside of PE classes.
I feel like if he hated school that much, something was going on at school and mom should have talked to him about it.
Could be the way it was for me and how it is for my older kids -- way too smart for the school, enough that, had we been given a Waldorf/Steiner or Montessori education we could have aced a high school equivalency exam by 12. School was frickin boring, forced us to be around toxic a-holes that we couldn't do anything about, bored us to death and punished us for being bored.
Especially given that the mom says he got decent grades- even with all the truancy.
Lots of teenagers are bored at school.
Or, just imagine, a teenage kid of a single mom was testing the boundaries of what he could get away with, and found he could get away with a lot until he was taught otherwise.
Or he could just be lazy and would rather stay home playing video games. Some kids just hate school and, hate it or not, they still have to go.
I recently had a similar letter about my daughter in middle school. Except, the school is upset about her _excused_ absences. One day was a doctor appointment, but all the rest have been because she was sick. First she had COVID and was out for a week, and then she had an unspecified fever/nausea/vomiting for a week. The letter said that any more absences would have consequences, but what am I supposed to do? Send her to school when she's sick? I just pray she's not sick again before the end of the year. /vent
Next time she's sick make sure to get a doctors note. If they still complain go to school with her and make sure she throws up in whoever is responsible for that letter's office. That’ll deal with it for sure. Some school are just absurd.
As a former teacher, I suggest you contact the school to request a meeting. This shows that you are concerned about your daughters schooling and makes it harder for them to take action against you because you are no longer a faceless person. Ask: is my daughter behind in any subjects, if so what topics; and are there any online resources you recommend to assist us at home to catch up on missed school work. Close the meeting by stating that your daughters health is you top priority but success in school is your 2nd priority, so can they pleas call you with any concerns about your daughters progress in school.
Thank you! I will keep your advice in mind.
I had a teacher try that b******t in 5th grade. I was in a private Christian school at the time and a small number of the teachers were the type who felt they were always in the right and didn't need to listen to the students if there was a problem. My phys ed teacher was one of those. I've had weak knees and ankles my entire life, to the point that any high impact activity could be very painful. Running during PE was especially difficult as we didn't have a track or flat surface to use. Just laps around the uneven grass of the school playground. My ankles were particularly prone to giving out if I stepped wrong and I'd end up spraining them. Well my phys ed teacher didn't care. I explained to him, my mom explained to him, my Dr sent multiple notes. He still insisted I run the laps. Wouldn't even let me walk. The final straw for mom was the day he took yet another Dr note and tore it up in front of my entire class. I was in a new school the following week. 😆
Or you could, you know, actually talk to your son find out just what he hates about school. Has something changed? Is he being bullied by his teachers? My younger brother started skipping school several times a week, and when my mom talked to him about it, she learned that he couldn't stand being made fun of for his terrible acne. She taught him that he wouldn't have to return to school if he could pass the
Does any 16 year old really like school? Not very many, I'd guess.
Im 16 and the only reason i actually go is cause of sports and band
I loved school at 16... It was better than my home life...
hate to tell u this but not every parent will listen to their kids and make compromises. wen i was in middle school i was bullied told my parents i didnt want to go anymore. all they said was too bad. in high school it got much worse. i said it again "im being bullied i cant take it anymore" all they said was "make sure u get that scholarship for track and ull b fine". as a result the anxeity disorder they didnt think i had got much worse to the point where i have 5 different types of anxeity. i couldnt finish college bc of my anxeity. after 3 failed colleges and 10 failed job attempts my parents finally believed i have anxeity. not all parents listen or notice something is wrong or willing to talk. my parents r proof of that. its been 8 years since my relationship with my parents was fixed. it only became perfect about 3 or 4 years ago tho. it took me getting married and moving out as well as them moving to a different state for it to become perfect. i kno my husband will protect me from their bs and they cant cause me stress and anxeity 24/7. i havent had a panic attack in 4 years and the only difference is that my parents moved and im married. my parents out of my life fixed everything
Oml im sry u had to go through that... that wasnt parenting the was child neglegence and congrats on getting away from that.... congrats on the marriage too :).... edit: i dont think i used neglegence correctly but i hope yall get the idea :3
Done that with my kids. After discussing with them, I determined that the best possible thing for them WOULD be to actually let them skip when they feel like as long as they're actually getting stuff done, but since the STATE says they have to go I can't give them that choice. Actually the BEST thing to do would be if the state actually offered charter schools with Montessori or Waldorf/Steiner methods (i.e. kids learn what they f$#@ing want to learn and as a result they love learning, score higher in every category and even thrive if they have ADHD or other things that would make them fail regular school), but they don't.
If I remember my teenage years, my answer would have been a very revealing "I dunno".
Oh STFU. She not only taught him that his actions have consequences, but how those consequences hurt others. This is the most valuable lesson that any parent can teach their children.
Though it's fair to say this isn't the case for all: when I was a teenager, I hated school but felt compelled to keep going. It didn't matter what anyone told me. The fact is: when you're a teenager, sometimes your raging hormones won't let you be reasoned with.
My son has missed school because of diagnosed neurological and mental health issues, but somehow they keep sending me letters about how they could have me arrested. They can certainly try. It's going to be on the news though, I can guarantee them that.
GED. He did on his first try, and their relationship was deepened.
I didn't want to go to school even I was 16. If not for the fact that my sisters were with me to school, I would have skipped it. I did skip all the rallies. Have never even seen inside the gym outside of PE classes.
I feel like if he hated school that much, something was going on at school and mom should have talked to him about it.
Could be the way it was for me and how it is for my older kids -- way too smart for the school, enough that, had we been given a Waldorf/Steiner or Montessori education we could have aced a high school equivalency exam by 12. School was frickin boring, forced us to be around toxic a-holes that we couldn't do anything about, bored us to death and punished us for being bored.
Especially given that the mom says he got decent grades- even with all the truancy.
Lots of teenagers are bored at school.
Or, just imagine, a teenage kid of a single mom was testing the boundaries of what he could get away with, and found he could get away with a lot until he was taught otherwise.
Or he could just be lazy and would rather stay home playing video games. Some kids just hate school and, hate it or not, they still have to go.
I recently had a similar letter about my daughter in middle school. Except, the school is upset about her _excused_ absences. One day was a doctor appointment, but all the rest have been because she was sick. First she had COVID and was out for a week, and then she had an unspecified fever/nausea/vomiting for a week. The letter said that any more absences would have consequences, but what am I supposed to do? Send her to school when she's sick? I just pray she's not sick again before the end of the year. /vent
Next time she's sick make sure to get a doctors note. If they still complain go to school with her and make sure she throws up in whoever is responsible for that letter's office. That’ll deal with it for sure. Some school are just absurd.
As a former teacher, I suggest you contact the school to request a meeting. This shows that you are concerned about your daughters schooling and makes it harder for them to take action against you because you are no longer a faceless person. Ask: is my daughter behind in any subjects, if so what topics; and are there any online resources you recommend to assist us at home to catch up on missed school work. Close the meeting by stating that your daughters health is you top priority but success in school is your 2nd priority, so can they pleas call you with any concerns about your daughters progress in school.
Thank you! I will keep your advice in mind.
I had a teacher try that b******t in 5th grade. I was in a private Christian school at the time and a small number of the teachers were the type who felt they were always in the right and didn't need to listen to the students if there was a problem. My phys ed teacher was one of those. I've had weak knees and ankles my entire life, to the point that any high impact activity could be very painful. Running during PE was especially difficult as we didn't have a track or flat surface to use. Just laps around the uneven grass of the school playground. My ankles were particularly prone to giving out if I stepped wrong and I'd end up spraining them. Well my phys ed teacher didn't care. I explained to him, my mom explained to him, my Dr sent multiple notes. He still insisted I run the laps. Wouldn't even let me walk. The final straw for mom was the day he took yet another Dr note and tore it up in front of my entire class. I was in a new school the following week. 😆