Woman Shares What Happens To Praised ‘Smart Kids’ When They Grow Up, And It’s Hard To Argue
Many of us deal with feelings of failure and inadequacy every now and then, after all, it’s part of the great struggle called life. However, those emotions often haunt those, who grew up constantly being called ‘smart’ and ‘talented’, when praise was handed out by parents, teachers and other influential figures in their lives, for being naturally good at something, not for working hard to achieve it. And that eventually gets a growing individual hooked on external validation as they slowly start to base their personality on it. Unfortunately, as one grows, the praise becomes less frequent, leading to feeling inadequate.
A couple of weeks ago, author Valerie Valdes brought up this issue in a Twitter thread, detailing the process and where it can lead an individual. “My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I, of course–and I wanted to help if I could” Valerie told Bored Panda. She also shared her thoughts on “tools” to deal with the problem. “When it comes to mental health, it’s hard to not only identify a problem in a way that resonates with people, but also to find methods for coping, and I tried to provide both” she said. Scroll down below to read the full thread and don’t forget to share your own thoughts in the comments!
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Valerie Valdes is an author from Miami who started a thread discussing the issue of being called a “smart kid” growing up
“My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I” she told Bored Panda
People were quick to share their own feelings
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I was also one of the "smart" kids, getting high grades, praised by teachers, expected to achieve so much later in life. Yet I never had a job I liked/wanted, my bank account hovers precariously low and I hang towards the bottom of the social ladder. I do feel like a failure. I did not fail my whole life as I have found the love of my life and we have amazing kids, but as a person, I crashed and burned instead of rising high. The praise in my youth only increased the stress of meeting others' expectations and crushed my self confidence.
I might not be currently working but I win pub quizzes
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"a Twitter thread" Why is it always a "a Twitter thread" and never a facebook or reddit post? The character limit on twitter is ridiculous. If you must use twitter at least write the whole thing out in pastebin and then just post the link.
Ohhh, there are going to be dozens of comments about how she's doing this for attention. I think very few people who go viral were actually seeking that level of attention, they are just talking things out with their social circle. Even if she was hoping this would reach the wider world, her goal was probably just to start a conversation and help other people to feel not alone.
I was also one of the "smart" kids, getting high grades, praised by teachers, expected to achieve so much later in life. Yet I never had a job I liked/wanted, my bank account hovers precariously low and I hang towards the bottom of the social ladder. I do feel like a failure. I did not fail my whole life as I have found the love of my life and we have amazing kids, but as a person, I crashed and burned instead of rising high. The praise in my youth only increased the stress of meeting others' expectations and crushed my self confidence.
I might not be currently working but I win pub quizzes
Load More Replies... "a Twitter thread" Why is it always a "a Twitter thread" and never a facebook or reddit post? The character limit on twitter is ridiculous. If you must use twitter at least write the whole thing out in pastebin and then just post the link.
Ohhh, there are going to be dozens of comments about how she's doing this for attention. I think very few people who go viral were actually seeking that level of attention, they are just talking things out with their social circle. Even if she was hoping this would reach the wider world, her goal was probably just to start a conversation and help other people to feel not alone.
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