Many of us deal with feelings of failure and inadequacy every now and then, after all, it’s part of the great struggle called life. However, those emotions often haunt those, who grew up constantly being called ‘smart’ and ‘talented’, when praise was handed out by parents, teachers and other influential figures in their lives, for being naturally good at something, not for working hard to achieve it. And that eventually gets a growing individual hooked on external validation as they slowly start to base their personality on it. Unfortunately, as one grows, the praise becomes less frequent, leading to feeling inadequate.

A couple of weeks ago, author Valerie Valdes brought up this issue in a Twitter thread, detailing the process and where it can lead an individual. “My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I, of course–and I wanted to help if I could” Valerie told Bored Panda. She also shared her thoughts on “tools” to deal with the problem. “When it comes to mental health, it’s hard to not only identify a problem in a way that resonates with people, but also to find methods for coping, and I tried to provide both” she said. Scroll down below to read the full thread and don’t forget to share your own thoughts in the comments!

More info: Twitter

Valerie Valdes is an author from Miami who started a thread discussing the issue of being called a “smart kid” growing up

“My friends and family struggle with the feelings I mentioned–so do I” she told Bored Panda

People were quick to share their own feelings