Married Couple Reveals They’re Expecting A Daughter, SIL Tells Wife She Should Feel Devastated
When a couple finds out they’re expecting a child, it’s natural for them to start thinking about what their child will be like. But while they might wish for their baby to be of a specific gender they prefer, when the child is born, they usually love them all the same regardless of it.
However, as one Redditor recently shared, some people make it a much bigger deal than it ever should be. When the woman announced to the family that she was going to have a girl, her sister-in-law took her aside to express her condolences, saying that having a boy is a lot better and refusing to believe that no one else but her was feeling sad about it. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Some people might hope for their baby to be a boy or a girl, but not many would take their less preferred gender as something devastating
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
A pregnant woman at a family event revealed that she was expecting a second daughter, and everyone but her sister-in-law was very happy for her
Image credits: August de Richelieu (not the actual photo)
After dinner, her sister-in-law brought her aside and started talking about how sad the news was and how she loves her sons more than her daughter
Image credits: Many-Calligrapher617
The woman kept trying to tell her sister-in-law that she was happy about having a girl, but when she refused to believe it, she called her weird and left
The OP, who was pregnant with a second child, was attending a family dinner with her husband. Her brother and his wife, who have four children, three of them boys, were also at the dinner table.
At the time of the events, the woman had just found out that the baby was going to be a girl, just like her firstborn, and so she shared the news with the rest of her family. Everyone was very happy for them and offered their congratulations, but there was one person who didn’t feel the same.
After the dinner, the OP’s sister-in-law took her aside and expressed her condolences, saying that it’s okay to feel devastated by the bad news. When the confused woman asked her to clarify her statement, the brother’s wife told her that she loved her daughter but nowhere near how she loved her sons.
The sister-in-law refused to believe that the woman was actually happy about having a girl and tried to write it off as denial before being called extremely weird. This later led to her husband texting his sister and telling her off about how she talked to his wife, seemingly in agreement with his wife’s words.
The commenters unanimously voted the OP as not a jerk, saying that weird was the nicest thing she could’ve told her sister-in-law, considering the misogynistic-sounding things that she said. They theorized that this might come from her own upbringing and urged the OP to discuss it with her brother to make sure that his daughter was not mistreated.
Image credits: Danik Prihodko (not the actual photo)
However sad that may be, misogyny is still a thing in today’s world. There are many people actively working on getting rid of it, but with how deeply it is rooted in our society and our past, the process is painfully long.
Still, when it comes to misogynistic words and actions, people would expect most of them to come from men. Yet, as it turns out, there are actually quite a lot of women who, surprisingly, feel that way, too.
As Patricia Seabright wrote in her LinkedIn post, according to a survey, 95% of women have experienced bias or misogyny from other women, with 52% of respondents saying that they deal with this frequently.
This type of behavior dates back ages, with one of the most notable openly misogynistic women in history being Queen Victoria, who, among other things, didn’t hesitate to say that women “would surely perish without male protection.”
But it feels that by now, this should be a thing of the past, right? Then why isn’t it? What causes women to turn against other females and even show prejudice or hate toward them?
Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)
Well, the answer to most of these cases is internalized misogyny. We all live in a society that, unfortunately, still has a lot of patriarchal ideas floating around. While things are slowly changing, we still grow up hearing about it, and regardless of gender, people grow up thinking in a certain way and believing certain things without really asking why. However, as Patricia shared, there are a few different ways in which this manifests in practice:
- The Princesses – Traditionalist and conservative women who embrace the outdated views and believe that women are supposed to live up to femininity ideals, standing by their man and being a good wife.
- The Critics – Most often men who believe that women who fail or choose not to fulfill the aforementioned ‘princess’ role are evil and dirty.
- The Queens – Women with a superiority complex who are narcissistic high achievers, believing themselves to be one of a kind and doing everything in their power to get rid of the competition.
- The Victims – Women who put up, accept, and pass down the misogyny because of fear of the consequences of speaking up and are unsympathetic to the ones who refuse to keep silent.
In the end, this issue is rooted deep. It takes a collective effort to pull it out, and it all starts with becoming more aware of oneself, as well as speaking up and standing up for others.
In the case of the OP’s sister-in-law, it’s hard to say what led her to see the world as she does. After all, we’re no specialists, and even if we were, all we know about her is from the author’s words. But whatever it may be, let’s just hope that, at the very least, she keeps it to herself and doesn’t force it on her daughter.
What did you think about this story? Have you ever experienced anything similar? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The commenters were very shocked about the situation, supporting the woman and urging her to talk to her brother to make sure that his daughter was not mistreated
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The brother shouldn’t be upset that his sister called his wife weird. He should be upset that his wife straight up said she doesn’t love their daughter as much as their sons. This is the issue he needs to concentrate on for the sake of his daughter.
TBF, he's probably not getting the unbiased story. His wife probably didn't give an accurate account of the interaction.
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The sister in law was NOT trying to show compassion, she was trying to incite drama. If the OP had then admitted to being a bit disappointed that her baby is not a boy, SiL could then be smug about her own three boys.
Ironically, I disagree that SIL was trying to "incite drama". SIL is a "boy mom". Boy moms think that all other moms want to be boy moms just like they are and literally cannot understand that others think the "boy mom" mentality is disgusting and weird and oftentimes creepy. I honestly think SIL thinks that OP *was* sad that OP wasn't having a boy, as what mom (in SIL's mind) WOULDN'T be disappointed that they were having a girl instead of a boy?? SIL's behavior and comments were out of line either way, I simply disagree with you about WHY she was making them XD I've met a number of "boy moms" in person and whoa, let me tell you, they can be NASTY mean people. I've had a couple of them in my family and they've been outright abusive to their daughters while their boys get to walk all over everyone and get anything they want. One of our neighbors was a "boy mom" who had three daughters and one son and she verbally abused all of her daughters, but let her son hit her, hit them, and nurse until he was eight. Yeah, "boy moms" are gross, sorry. ("Boy moms" is not to be confused with "moms of boys", who are normal mothers who gave birth to sons. "Boy moms" are a whole 'nother social phenomenon.)
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Wow, at least OP now knows her in laws love their daughter less, so she and her husband can look. Out for her in the future. But what a tragic family.
Dunno why you got downvoted, have an upvote from me. Agree, at least now OP & partner can keep an eye out for their niece. Ugh. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting a boy/girl. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting an LGBTQ kid. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting a disabled kid.
Load More Replies... The brother shouldn’t be upset that his sister called his wife weird. He should be upset that his wife straight up said she doesn’t love their daughter as much as their sons. This is the issue he needs to concentrate on for the sake of his daughter.
TBF, he's probably not getting the unbiased story. His wife probably didn't give an accurate account of the interaction.
Load More Replies... The sister in law was NOT trying to show compassion, she was trying to incite drama. If the OP had then admitted to being a bit disappointed that her baby is not a boy, SiL could then be smug about her own three boys.
Ironically, I disagree that SIL was trying to "incite drama". SIL is a "boy mom". Boy moms think that all other moms want to be boy moms just like they are and literally cannot understand that others think the "boy mom" mentality is disgusting and weird and oftentimes creepy. I honestly think SIL thinks that OP *was* sad that OP wasn't having a boy, as what mom (in SIL's mind) WOULDN'T be disappointed that they were having a girl instead of a boy?? SIL's behavior and comments were out of line either way, I simply disagree with you about WHY she was making them XD I've met a number of "boy moms" in person and whoa, let me tell you, they can be NASTY mean people. I've had a couple of them in my family and they've been outright abusive to their daughters while their boys get to walk all over everyone and get anything they want. One of our neighbors was a "boy mom" who had three daughters and one son and she verbally abused all of her daughters, but let her son hit her, hit them, and nurse until he was eight. Yeah, "boy moms" are gross, sorry. ("Boy moms" is not to be confused with "moms of boys", who are normal mothers who gave birth to sons. "Boy moms" are a whole 'nother social phenomenon.)
Load More Replies... Wow, at least OP now knows her in laws love their daughter less, so she and her husband can look. Out for her in the future. But what a tragic family.
Dunno why you got downvoted, have an upvote from me. Agree, at least now OP & partner can keep an eye out for their niece. Ugh. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting a boy/girl. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting an LGBTQ kid. Don't have kids if you can't hack getting a disabled kid.
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