32 Quiet Signs That Reveal Some People Have Weathered Life’s Storms

Pretty much from age 10 onward. Paternal trauma that was deliberately induced and absolutely wrecked one's entire world will do that. I still have problems asking for help, over 30 years later...

I never ask for help no point n I’ve been thru way way to much in my 60 yrs how im still here is well without my two kids 23-20 I likely wouldn’t be s spot in no we don’t ask for help I will help others if I can but ask for it nope

People say it's because I'm conceited...

In the past I was the sort of person who would do anything for anyone even if it inconvenienced me or left me out of pocket. The minute I needed a favour, no matter how small, everybody would run for the hills. The answer would be "no" before I'd even finished asking the question. And that is why I became big on self reliance and never ask for help.

Double that if they don't ask for help but still manage to do it better alone anyway.

Most emotions are muted anyway and don't last long. You learn to emulate them though so as not to upset the others. That's why being around people feels so exhausting.

I do this from PTSD then learned my son mirrored me from a very young age & shuts down his emotions he is an adult now & still does it.

Sometimes it's hard to switch back

Not gone, just repressed.

Yup !

Amen!!

Been working retail for too long. This is normal. I hate everybody regardless of race, religion, or lifestyle choice

I think it was time as well as trauma that caused this. Turned 40 last year and at this point in my life, I have zero patience for bullshít. 30 year old me would have tolerated a lot more of it.

This is not conducive to a work environment, in my case/experience/last few years. But - standing up for myself makes a giant difference to my mental health. Still horribly stressful. But worth it. But... lol

Cut your losses. Absolutely.

Def no place for that s**t

Friends are overrated, anyway. They always want to waste your time or expect you to do things with them.

People with adhd also are good in a crisis but can get easily frustrated over small annoyances, so not trauma in that case.

I feel this one!

My sister will actually get angry at me nowadays and yell and rant at me that I "won't let anyone help me" with things. Yeah, no sh!t, Sherlock - remember our childhood? MAYBE that's why I'm like that, hmm? But no - my sister is my parents' bio child, so SHE never even got spanked or punished when we were kids. I'm adopted and so I got all of my mom's abuse. But my sister can't comprehend why I won't ask for help, even though she witnessed everything my mom did to me (and to our dad.)

Fiercely independent, and rejecting anything that may threaten that independence. We have been through s**t and we don't want to be dragged back there. This has a negative side too - it's difficult to have relationships, because it implies to trust somebody else.

Parentification is real. My sibling and I were both left to rely largely on ourselves by the time we were ten years old- at least, in our dad’s care. To this day, I have periods when I struggle to advocate for myself, even when it’s absolutely necessary.

Hm, there also might be other reasons to be independent. I did not even mention my moving to other apartment to my friend who lived several states away, and they were very surprised about that. It might talk more about other people dependency, maybe?

Stubbornly independent is also a personality trait. My entire family has it to one degree or another

I have this to the extreme, but it does come in handy when there is an actual honest to gods crisis.

Lee Gilliland

Lee Gilliland

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Actually it's shell shock and we're just pretending.

Or they might be neurodivergent with different reaction triggers.

Yeeeup. I put myself down all the time, albeit in a humorous way, because I know I won't snap and beat the s**t out of myself (physically) as a response. Can't say the same about anybody else.

Spot on

God yes tell no one nothing safer

I’m just a very private person. You’d be amazed what you hear when you have a reputation for being quiet

An addendum to this would be if the information they do give, is either fabricated, or incomplete. Not lying, but more a case of telling someone something they want, or expect to hear. Creating situations or stories that present them having a good home life, when in reality things were difficult; or purposefully using language to obfuscate the truth.

im actually the opposite. mostly because ive never really experienced this in life where someone acts this way to me(unless they want something from me), and because when there is a time where i need to act like this, i end up doing nothing since i dont know how to act in this way.

I used to be like this. Turned into a total people pleaser before I was 30. By the time I was 40 I begun to hear "You are so selfish!" by all the people I have been helping t home and at work. They couldn't believe I said "no". I am selfish and a little happier now. And realized I was not helping those people: I only taught them to run to me at the slightest annoyance in their lives.

Great topic, important lessons to be learned here

You know what it feels like to be alone, abandoned, and ignored and you don't anyone else to feel that way.

I once was asked by a co-worker about plans for the Thxgiving holiday. I told them my usual, box of stovetop stuffing (ironically, cooked in microwave) and that was about it. He asked about family, I told him I don't have family. He asked again, do I have ANY family? I repeated the word NO and he kinda shook his head, like, wow she actually doesn't have any family. Nothing else was said during lunch time. It is easier to tell folks I don't have any family than explain why I don't have contact with any family members.

Either that or it's because I know that I wouldn't to be asked about my family, so I assume they wouldn't either

Yeah, I've never felt that interested in the details of other people's family lives, as I can't for the life of me imagine why anybody would be interested in mine. Turns out that maybe I was wrong after all. People actually do care.

Sorry about that!

Peeka_Mimi

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True Story: Therapist: Stop apologizing. Me: Sorry. Okay. Sorry.

I will apologize to someone, they tell me I don't need to apologize, I then usually say, "sorry, oh, sorry, um sorry sorry sorry."

If you ever had to walk on eggshells around someone who had more power than you (parent, boss, etc), then you become accustomed to looking out for the tiny clues that indicate that person’s mood that second. Always having to be so hyper aware is the exhausting part. Hyper aware about someone else, while ignoring yourself and everything else.

Actually the illusion of thick skin. Inside they’re dying at everything being thrown at that thin veneer of thick skin.

When your deadpan comments have gotten so deadpan that people don't know that you're being sarcastic and witty.

Lee Gilliland

Lee Gilliland

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Incorrect. We don't celebrate our birthdays because we don't want to be disappointed as usual.

Or we celebrate by ourselves, maybe with our pet(s).